and-we-can-all-feel-better-about-life

Michael Brown's Mother Recalls Son's Death, Legacy

Lezley McSpadden says she’ll never forget the day police officer Darren Wilson killed her 18-year-old son, Michael Brown, in Ferguson, Missouri.


In an interview with the Root, Mike’s mother, Lezley McSpadden, says that when she found out that the State didn’t prosecute her son’s killer and the department didn’t find that he had done anything wrong, she needed to find something to make herself feel better. So she started a foundation to reach out to other families who had lost children to police brutality called Rainbow of Mothers.


Mike Brown would have turned 20 years old on May 20.

His story continues to resonate with all of us. We can only hope to one day overcome this grief. His life was taken away by a police officer, who was never charged and prosecuted.

In another recent interview Lezley talked about the only apology she would ever take from the justice system and law enforcement.


#BlackLivesMatter     #JusticeForMikeBrown

#StopPoliceBrutality

The Difficult Thing About Being A Taurus

You’re someone who loves being independent and making decisions for yourself. When others put their two cents in your life, it isn’t always taken with a grain of salt because to you….there’s nobody who can life your life better than you can. And this is true. But the problem with you is that you tend to dismiss the opinions of others when it doesn’t mesh with what you want. Granted, we all want to feel we have things taken care of but nobody has everything figured out. This is where you may need to have a slice of humble pie. Reason being, we all need advice and sound judgment from time to time. It doesn’t mean we don’t know what we’re doing. Sometimes it just allows us to gain insight and receive wisdom from those who have been there, done that.

I AM SICK AND TIRED OF SEEING PEOPLE HATING ON MY COUNTRY.

WILL YOU PLEASE STOP JUDGING RUSSIA AND RUSSIAN PEOPLE BY OUR GOVERNMENT?
All I see is “wow Russia so homophobic much hate”.
Can’t you even think a bit about the fact that there are people in our country, in Russia, whose lifes are seriously affected now by this anti-propaganda law?
You think we don’t get enough blind hatred from some people in the same country, huh?
If you think that seeing these posts about “eww, homophobic Russians” makes someone feel better, you’re so very wrong. It makes us feel rejected everywhere, not only in our own country, but also everywhere in the world. Making fun of this or hating doesn’t look like a tiny bit of support.
We have amazing culture, we have interesting history, we have beautiful people in our country, but you chose to judge us by a few xenophobic morons.
RUSSIA IS NOT ITS GOVERNMENT.
STOP.

Hard is not relative. Hard is hard. Who can tell me that explaining to someone you just declared bankruptcy is harder than telling someone that you just cheated on them. Who can tell me that his coming out story is harder than telling your five-year-old you’re getting a divorce. There is no harder, there is just hard. We need to stop ranking our hard against everyone else’s hard to make us feel better about our closets and just commiserate on the fact that we all have hard.
—  Ash Beckham, Coming Out of Your Closet, TEDx Boulder
If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happened better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb. (Don’t Hesitate)
—  Mary Oliver
2015 Horoscopes

Astrology is defined as “the study of the movements and relative positions of celestial bodies interpreted as having an influence on human affairs and the natural world.”

January 20 to February 18 ~ AQUARIUS

The sexy one! Your middle name is definitely “Charming,” and you can weasel your way out of just about any awkward situation. People can’t help but feel attracted to your magnetic personality. You’re highly social, but you absolutely hate fighting. This is often at odds with you quest for justice in all aspects of your life. You believe in fairness and equality. Not to sound crazy, but you definitely love pets more than people. (Don’t we all, at least sometimes?) 

2015 is a year of monumental change for the better. Expect to meet an important partner in your life journey before the fourth month of the year. If you SHARE this post, three years of good luck.

February 19 to March 20 ~ PISCES

If you aren’t doing something creative in your life, start RIGHT NOW! You’re an excellent lover and a loyal companion, but you’ll grow sour if you aren’t immersed in some sort of creative pursuit at all times. You’re prone to trusting too much and loving too deeply, and you often wind up getting hurt. You’ve scared potential mates away with the depth of your passion. People say you’re eccentric, which means you’re weird in the best way possible.

Good advice for 2015 is to choose your friends wisely. Also, hold tight to your beliefs in late February for huge rewards by summertime. A decade of wonderful luck if you SHARE this forecast with all of your friends!

March 21 to April 19 ~ ARIES

You’re a loving person, but people who mistake your kindness for weakness are bound to have their minds blown! You genuinely enjoy arguing your point for hours – some call it fighting, you call it a lively debate. Despite your impulsivity, you are nothing if not loyal. Once someone befriends an Aries, they’ve got a confidant for life.

2015 promises to be a year of opportunity; doors that you thought were permanently sealed will spring open throughout the year. SHARE this post for three fabulous years of good fortune in love and finance!

April 20 to May 20 ~ TAURUS

In spite of your popularity (babies born in Taurus are said to be the most attractive people on the planet) you truly thrive when you’re  in a stable, long-term relationship. Finding the yin to your yang, however, is no simple task. Some may see you as somewhat self-centered, but that’s just because you won’t let anything interfere with your ultimate goals. You love to go to bed early just as much as you love being the life of the party.

Guess what? You’re about to make lots of new friends this year! Lay low through the winter and attend as many social gatherings as you can starting in March. By June, you will meet a friend or lover who will advance you spiritually and will remain an important part of your world well beyond 2020. Share this post for 5 years of the best luck of your life!

May 21 to June 20 ~ GEMINI

Expressive, intuitive, and sweet. Your two favorite things in no particular order: hugs and long talks with your oldest friends. You’re happiest curled up by the fire with a good book, but that doesn’t mean you’re a pushover. Geminis are particularly good at speaking their minds, and you have the power to make feel people comfortable enough to do the same! No sooner do you form a thought than do you find a way to express it. This makes the Gemini and excellent teacher and companion.

It’ll require tremendous will-power, but listen to your intuition through the 6th month of the year. Don’t let ANYONE make you doubt yourself and you’ll see HUGE REWARDS by the fall.SHARE for 7 years of good fortune for you and your family!

June 21 to July 22 ~ CANCER

Cancers are trustworthy romantics who treasure the few people they hold close to their hearts…You are the stuff dreams are made of. But that’s the thing: your inner circle is SMALL and you’re very careful about who you let in. Most Cancers are picky about who they take under their wing, because once you’re part of a cancer’s circle, you’re there forever. People who don’t understand you will use the word “insane” to describe you, but you aren’t crazy. Or if you are…no worries. You’re crazy in the best way possible.

Dream BIG in the Spring of 2015. Major tides will turn in your life in the fall, and you’ll want to be ready. SHARE this post for 3 fabulous years of simply DIVINE luck!!

July 23 to August 22 ~ LEO

You light up the room when you walk in, whether you realize it or not! While you’re often compared to a lion, make no mistake: A cowardly lion you are NOT! Leo’s are talkative dreamers who know how to kick back and relax. When you’re unhappy, you tend to sink into a slump, and you become grumpy and monotonous. Make sure to always switch up your routine to avoid falling into this trap.

Do something out of the ordinary in either January or July/August of 2015. Don’t be afraid. The risk will be worth the reward. SHARE this post for good luck through 2020!!

August 23 to September 22 ~ VIRGO

You’re a risk-taker, aren’t you?! Be careful on those trips to Vegas, lucky Virgo!  You’re dominant in relationships, but you’re also personable and patient. However, once a Virgo is crossed…that’s it. Done for life. Forgiving is hard for you, and forgetting is even harder, but that’s not to say you can’t change your mind about a person, place, or thing. You love feeling needed (who doesn’t) but sometimes people-pleasing can get in the way of your innermost desires.

2015 is the year that you will become someone’s one and only. Keep your chin up through May for huge rewards in June!  SHARE this little piece of advice with all of your friends for 12 whole years of brilliant luck.

September 23 to October 22 ~ LIBRA

Passionate, creative, but sometimes flighty Libras refuse to waste too much time on faux friendships, and even less for “lame” relationships. Generally speaking, Libras are torn between doing the right thing, and the thing that makes them happy. Libras are the kindest and most compassionate people you will ever meet… But make no mistake: They are NOT to be messed with. That’s why your sign is the kindest warrior on the astrological chart. All things fair and balanced. 

Clean house in February. Yes, Libra, we’re talking about THAT ONE PERSON. SHARE this post for 6 years of the best luck of your life!!

October 23 to November 21 ~ SCORPIO

Notoriously the last person to leave the party, you just might have a habit of winding up in over your head. Extravagance is fine, overindulgence is another thing. Although, it goes both ways. Scorpios are at their best when the overindulge on the good things in life: Love, meditation, and wellness. Yet, Scorpio’s have a tendency to fixate. Be wary of allowing lust or money run your life.

Beware of false promises in late January, but be ready for blissful surprises by the middle of February! SHARE this post for 7 years of incredibly wonderful luck.

November 22 to December 21 ~ SAGITTARIUS

Left to your own devices, a Sag might self-destruct. Surround yourself with the people, places, and things that make you glow. Sexy, silly, and unbelievably passionate, Sags do well in long-term relationships because they’re so high-energy. With that having been said, most Sags are very private people. A precious few get into the inner circle, and the rest are kept far from a Sag’s heart.

Open up your “inner circle” in late March. You won’t regret it. SHARE this for 3 years, 3 months, and 3 days of unbelievably perfect luck!!

December 22 to January 19 ~ CAPRICORN

When a Capricorn finds an occupation that meets their core interests, they thrive. Your stability and reliability makes you sought-after professionally. When you work on something that you’re not interested in, it’s a VERY different story. Yikes!! If you’re a Capricorn, you’ve probably been criticized for being too smart for your own good. But that’s okay. Your grouchiness is far eclipsed by your passion for laughter and your love of all things sensual.

Seek an escape from the mundane in April. A day trip at some point during the Spring will lead to a project that will ignite your passion for the next decade…or more. SHARE this for 8 years of simply AWESOME luck!!

Some thoughts about the drawings

This isn’t really a meta or an analysis, just what I’m thinking about it all, right now.

Was chatting with @momecat earlier, and we were talking about the DRAWINNNGS  <3 and how lovely they are, but I also (like many of us) wonder why Even isn’t simply texting back, or just contacting Isak more, for example in school.

Now, of course, the reasons can be many (probably are) but at this point, I do think it solely has to do with what Isak said in the boys’ locker room: “My life is better without mentally ill people around.”

I know, that’s nothing new under the sun, we have all discussed this, at length, already. But I get the feeling that this is really what it is. I think that giving Isak the drawings is the only thing Even dares to do at this moment. In this way, there’s still some form of contact between them, but Isak doesn’t necessarily get/have to know more about Even’s possible mental illness/problems. That maybe the drawings are Even’s way of still showing that he’s in love with Isak, but he’s unable to take the next step because he’s so afraid of rejection.

And just to get back to Even’s whole “Life is like a movie. You’re the director of your own life”-comment: The drawings might also be yet another way of Even directing what happens in his life. By not answering Isak’s texts he doesn’t have to directly answer to anything. He doesn’t have to explain his absence, he doesn’t have to explain what the hell is up, and most of all he doesn’t have to explain anything about his mental health. 

Maybe the “Same time, a completely different place in the universe”-drawings are Even’s version of Isak’s “movie”, the one he promised to make? This is what he wants to happen, what he wants to be real, but won’t dare to give a chance because Isak might reject him when the truth, the whole truth and nothing but THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE (sorry, I had to). I’ve mentioned before that I think Even very actively takes the “director’s role”, not only in his own life but also partly in the lives of those around him. Don’t misunderstand me: I LOVE Even. Absolutely love the guy, but I believe his need to be in- and keep control of his surroundings are greater than what we’ve seen at this point. By “answering” Isak through the drawings, he is able to indirectly control the communication between them.

I also thought about why he doesn’t answer through texts, and that it might be because someone *cough* is going through his texts? I see here and on the SKAM homepage that some other people think so too. I mean, if Even was completely honest with Sonja and told her that he and Isak had the make-out session of the century that Saturday after Halloween it wouldn’t be strange if she is checking his phone. No, it’s not alright, it’s not cool, but it’s absolutely possible. And quite normal, sadly.
So this can be a possibility, but to be honest I don’t think that’s the reason. The drawings are intimate, just theirs, and Even’s way of showing his love for Isak. I also think, as I said, that Even answer through them to proceed/keep in contact in the way he’s comfortable with (even though it’s driving Isak (AND US) slightly crazy, in a good/bad way).

But he said it now. 

I miss you

He said something about how he feels.
For the last weeks we’ve seen how much Isak’s been hurting, but in that drawing today, in those three words, I feel how much Even is hurting too. 


Dunno what your thoughts are, but I just had to get this out of my system. I’m so excited (and nervous) for what we’ll see tomorrow. How everything will proceed. I’m thinking (hoping! NEEDING!) we’ll see Even tomorrow. Wonder if Isak will send him a text in return, saying I miss you, too. ? Oh man, I hope so.

{56/100}

doing some reading for biology for my exams next week!

thank you for your comments and sharing your stories on my last post. my aim in my life is to have everyone feel good about themselves and see them happy. through that post, I’ve learnt to have even greater respect for people who are suffering or have suffered from disorders. it’s not easy to suffer from it, not to mention getting letter and maintaining it so it doesn’t relapse.

we all should empower each other, disregarding gender, sexuality, race, size, looks, religion or disability. we are all humans and the world can be a better place if we would sort our differences and be more sensitive to others.

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I am a dreamer. I know so little of real life that I just can’t help re-living such moments as these in my dreams, for such moments are something I have very rarely experienced. I am going to dream about you the whole night, the whole week, the whole year. I feel I know you so well that I couldn’t have known you better if we’d been friends for twenty years. You won’t fail me, will you? Only two minutes, and you’ve made me happy forever. Yes, happy. Who knows, perhaps you’ve reconciled me with myself, resolved all my doubts.
—  Fyodor Dostoyevsky, White Nights
If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happened better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb. (Don’t Hesitate)
—  Mary Oliver

“Maybe we need some kinds of revelations to help us see things in a better way. I know I do everyday. Even when you think you have everything in order, that’s when sometimes you begin to lose sight on what is truly important. I think the time I feel I want to give up is the time I am faced with a revelation or a change that proves that life can go on.

I read a quote today about boundaries and compassion and it really hit me hard. I think people have a hard time with this.

"Compassionate people are boundary people…..The heart of compassion is really acceptance. The better we are at accepting ourselves and others, the more compassionate we become. Well, it’s difficult to accept people when they are hurting us or taking advantage of us or walking all over us. This research has taught me that if we really want to practice compassion, we have to start by setting boundaries and holding people accountable for their behavior.” - Brene Brown

That’s when you need to set boundaries, that’s when you need to be honest and to open up and to explain why it is important to be kind to one another. I know I am only human and I am sure I’ve made mistakes and hurt others along the way that I am accountable for but I can’t let it get in the way of me becoming a better person or trying to be a better person. Each step I take is necessary for my life and my goals. Forward is the only direction to go.“ - Joanna Strafford, Tangled 

Photo source: henrrydelavega

Quote: Joanna Strafford, Tangled

Click here for my book!

I don’t really have a word for myself, or a category that I put myself in. I don’t think about it too much, I just wear what feels good. If I can look in the mirror with whatever I have on, if it makes me stand a certain way, if it makes me smile, then I don’t care whether it’s from this end of the spectrum or the other end. And growing up and learning more about myself, I feel like life is all about finding the middle, so I have gone back and forth to different styles, from girly to dressing completely like—as we would say in society and for lack of better words—like a "boy.’” - Samira Wiley on labels

“Insecure” goes so hard

I love “Insecure” so much, and especially after last night’s episode it shows me how Issa Rae is doing something so special and different than almost all TV out there. And it’s simple but genius- She demands accountability from the main characters and doesn’t leave them off the hook.

It’s not all “one sided” and they know it. And that’s what makes the show so incredibly relatable, so human. We see their flaws but also how they are just trying to do the best they can, but of course they can do better. We all can do better. That’s life.

I haven’t watched any television show in recent memory which has felt as real to me as “Insecure”, that has felt as relatable. And especially being a black person in their 20s just going through life, dating niggaz and trying to figure shit out in love, relationships, career and how I see and feel about myself too… this shit goes hard. At times I felt my life being dragged by the show (lol), but in a good way and that shows just how damn relatable it is. 

As I’ve gone through my 20s, I’ve had no choice but to face my own shit and demand accountability of myself for my own fuck ups. Just like the show does to Issa and Molly. It never leaves them off the hook, but you still love them. Just like we do to our friends and family…. and to ourselves.

I’m just so happy to have media out there like “Insecure” right now. As a black person, a photographer and creator myself, black art is at the core of what I do and who I am. And having followed Issa Rae since “Awkward Black Girl” days, it’s just so amazing to see what she’s doing- creating mirrors for us as black people in the media that are complex and multidimensional. Ones that we can look at and both laugh and cry. Ones that feel and look like… us- for once.

You don’t realize how starved you are for seeing a remotely relatable portrait of yourself in the media as a black person until you see something like “Insecure” and go- wow! This is what representation made FOR and BY black people can look like.

It’s exhilarating and amazing.

Issa Rae is doing something special that nobody I’ve seen on television do in years, and it’s just so incredible to see how masterful she is at story telling. I’m so so excited for the last episode of this season next week and to see what Issa creates from here. And I’m doubly excited to continue to see more relatable portraits of black life like this that are created FUBU-style by artists like Issa and hopefully eventually independent of these white media conglomerates like HBO too in the future *solange hum “onnneee for us”*

if you point out someone’s insecurity, you will destroy their self confidence and they will never be beautiful in their own eyes.
but if you praise their flaws like, “you look pretty with those freckles on your cheeks” you will cheer them up and they will never forget you because you helped them to feel better about themselves.
the choice is yours, you can destroy or build someone using your words. but you know, life will be better if we know how to help people than hurting them.

2

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HOLY MOLY IT’S FINALLY FINISHED. I’ve been working on this since yesterday and I’m so so so so so proud of it!! ;7;

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year??? Wow. A whole year since my life was changed for the better. For a lot of people, myself included, Undertale came out while we were stuck in a dark time. For me personally, I was dealing with a lot of loneliness and anxiety because all my friends were moving away to better places and I couldn’t afford to go to college anymore, and I felt like I didn’t belong in the Pokemon Ask community since I was losing interest in it; I didn’t even feel comfortable enough to talk to my squad about it. It got to the point where I felt so hopeless and depressed that I left the group chat and isolated myself for a while.

 Undertale… made me feel less lonely. It made me feel warm and welcome, like I always had a home there with them, and these fictional characters don’t even exist but they still feel real and tangible to me. They feel like my family. I always come back to this game and selfishly replay it because I wanna see my friends again. I wanna play with them and interact with them, and even though I know it’s just a game it feels like a crime to keep replaying it because the game messes with you and makes you think that they’re real, living beings with thoughts and feelings and memories that all get taken away when you reset. This game gives me the feels somethin fierce.

 This was also the first fandom I’ve participated in in a long time. When I was in high school I was into Homestuck, and before this I was part of the PokeAsk community for almost 3 years. There’s always been drama and haters and bumps in the road for every fandom, but Undertale fans were by far the most welcoming I’d ever seen. Everyone was so nice and friendly and open to discussion about strange theories and hidden clues in the game and it really felt like a community. And honestly? Without Undertale I think it might’ve taken me a lot longer to become comfortable with who I am; I also might’ve never met my beautiful girlfriend without this game. I met so many wonderful people and learned a lot about myself in this past year and I am so grateful that it happened.

 Thank you, Toby Fox. Undertale has inspired so many people to be soft and had an impact on so many of us-I hope it continues to inspire others, even when it fades.

Swear the climate feels like all of progressive white america woke up & suddenly knows what it’s like to be a well intentioned Southerner.

This is how I’ve felt my whole life. Inseparable from a culture that showed me such love that I can’t comprehend it’s deep ability to hate.

Intentions mean nothing. The way I feel about the South changed for the better when I decided I represent it. In the way I walk, talk & what I actually do. Even when it comes to trying to own my many, many mistakes.

That’s all I got for you fellow white folks. It’s not some “it’s those assholes” shit. Our culture is what WE make it. How YOU walk it.

Stop with the “not all white people”. They do represent us all. But so do you. And there’s your opportunity to try and do better.

I am a dreamer. I know so little of real life that I just can’t help re-living such moments as these in my dreams, for such moments are something I have very rarely experienced. I am going to dream about you the whole night, the whole week, the whole year. I feel I know you so well that I couldn’t have known you better if we’d been friends for twenty years. You won’t fail me, will you? Only two minutes, and you’ve made me happy forever. Yes, happy. Who knows, perhaps you’ve reconciled me with myself, resolved all my doubts.
—  Fyodor Dostoyevsky
It’s getting hard to live.

In the past week I’ve read the obituaries of 4 trans women–two suicides and two murders.  I’ve talked 3 people down from suicide and been suicidal myself.  I keep telling trans folks younger than me that things can and will get better, but I have to admit that it’s really hard to believe it sometimes.  Right now it feels like the struggle never ends.  Trans visibility is at an all time high, but the vast majority of us are still poor.  We’re alone and dying.  It seems like every few weeks or months I hear about another trans woman dying, by violence or her own hand.

It would be disingenuous for me to spit out platitudes and optimism.  Life hurts right now. That being said, if you’re on that ledge, talk to me.  I’m hurt, but I can take it. If you need someone to talk to, contact me.  Don’t be another dead trans girl begging for change.  Before you make that decision, talk to me.  Please.

I can’t tell if I’m happy.
— 

She says I can’t tell if I’m happy because of the way the moon still strings itself to my fingertips, a different balloon I’ve let go each night while trying to forget about you. She says I can’t tell if I’m happy because of how life has tried to break her, is this the fake smile or this a real smile? Things are going to take awhile, to feel better, to feel great, to be fixed– She says I can’t tell if I’m happy even if I’m happy because there’s such a blur, there’s a kaleidoscope inside of my throat and each word just keeps spinning and we’re all a bit lost inside of these thoughts, I don’t know the difference, I can no longer tell you apart from what I’ve always been or what I’ll long to be– She says I can’t tell if I’m happy because of you, you, you, you or you– you’re all looking the same, my feelings start to bleed the same, I can’t pick you apart, you’re not a flower– you’re just some garden I forgot to water. She says I can’t tell if I’m happy, where have you been? I’ve been here all along, but you’re just gone and yes, loneliness likes to rub against my palms– I’ve been shaving down my bones to find the broken you’ve put into me, I’ve been slipping into something more comfortable, but you’re a discomfort inside of my chest– I’ve been tearing myself apart, I can’t pick you up– you let me down, but I still manage to stay around and no, we don’t get to undo this typo– we are the error, there is no trial. She says I can’t tell if I’m happy, but I sure as hell would love to try. She says I can’t tell if I’m happy or if it’s just the way my bones have been trying to break themselves to find you inside. Some thoughts are like windows we’re peeking out of, you can’t always see the truth if you’re looking for the lie. She says I can’t tell if I’m happy even if I’m happy because there’s something leaking from my wrist and it continues to spell your name. We all have ourselves a special person we can’t seem to forget, so I guess remembering something this late into the night finally has a home to go to, there’s nothing like the dance between light and darkness trying to forget something you never needed to remember– it just stayed so close to you. She says I can’t tell if I’m happy or if I’m in love with finding out why I’m this sad all of the damn time, I can’t seem to love where there has only been pain, I can’t seem to find the words to type into this letter. She says I can’t tell if I’m happy, but somewhere between my fingertips I hand-drew your smile into my palms, you’re a smile I couldn’t let go of even if I’ve let go of you many times before– you always come back and I always come back for more. She says I can’t tell if I’m happy, but I sure as hell would love to try to feel happy.

// The Ate & The Bunso