and-they-say

Context: I’m getting ready to DM my first game with two completely new players. One of them is having questions about her background as a paladin with the noble background and I am not being helpful: 

Paladin (her):As a noble I start with 25 gold pieces how much is that worth

DM (me):25 gold is currency

Paladin: I know. How much is it worth? What could I buy with that?

Me: Currency can be used for goods and services

Sherlock in TLD

i still don’t understand sherlock in tld

how is it possible that he looks like such a gross mess but somehow i STILL found him so gorgeous?!

i don’t even like scruffy facial hair and i LOVE sherlock’s bouncy curls and dapper posh clean cut look, not the greasy mess in tld

Originally posted by benedictc

Originally posted by sherlockspeare

Originally posted by whenisayrunrun

and yet!! AND YET!!!

HOW IS IT THAT DESPITE ALL THIS HE LOOKS EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL IN TLD!? I MEAN JUST LOOK

Originally posted by whenisayrunrun

Originally posted by snapesoul

Originally posted by whenisayrunrun

EXPLAIN PLS??????

Bearly Noticable

Context: I’m the DM for a very homebrewed 5e campaign with bits and pieces from several games and shows. One of my players plays Bartholomew Grizzleton, or Bart, the eight foot tall clown makeup wearing sentient ex-circus bear with +5 charisma. This happened in our first ever session.

Me (DM): So as you walk through the camp you see a shop keeper selling all sorts of items and potions.

Bart(ooc): Ooh what kind of potions?

Me: you see health potions, stamina potions, some demondrug-

Bart(ooc): Can I steal them?

Me: Well… yes, but you’re a giant bear. I don’t think it will go that well though.

*Bart rolls for stealth*
Natural 20

*Whole table flips out*

Me: Ok then, you SOMEHOW sneak to the stand completely unnoticed, roll for sleight of hand.

*Bart rolls for sleight of hand*
Natural
FREAKIN
20!

*Party is dying at this point*

Me: Okay SOME-FREAKIN-HOW a giant bear in clown makeup sneaks into the hand, grabs eight jars of demondrug and juggles back to the party!

Little context: Since my party was mostly new players and I really wanted to sell them on DnD (Dragon Age Homebrew) being a game where you can do anything, I allowed a lot of seduction in the beginning of the game and I’m regretting it bc now there are almost no NPCs that haven’t had sex with the party. Here are some highlights

Me (DM): You’ve fucked him well enough that he gives you all his tea.

Me: You’ve convinced the pirate to remove his pants. (rolls a d20) He’s pretty well-hung

Me: The 80 year old librarian agrees and takes you to a back room

Our Mage: Does she teach me how to use magic sexually?

Me: Sure

Our Blood Mage (in combat): I’m pretty well off as a male Qunari right?

Me: Yeah? I mean I guess I roll for it now. (Roll a nat 20)

Blood Mage: I drop my pants to intimidate him to leave. (non-nat 20)

Me: I hate you guys.

8

Counterparts + MBTI Personality Types

Tom: He? Matt is straight? Right?

Matt: Yeah, I- I am. I don’t know why they’re- why the would say that…

Tom: I mean like if you aren’t that fine and you can tell me cause obviously- 

Matt: Yeah, I know. But I’m not- we should just move on. 

Tom: Sure

saying ben named his son “Hal” after an obscure shakespeare reference is so funny to me because ben is a kubrick stan who wrote his THESIS on kubrick- BEN NAMED HIS SON AFTER AN EVIL FUCKING ROBOT AND IM HOLLERING