I’ve been on a lot of dayquil and not eating the past few days and I feel like a garbage fire on a rainy day and I’m stressed out and frustrated but hey I’m not gonna let that make me have another shitty birthday
Harry opened his eyes slowly, his eyes adjusting to the small light that entered his bedroom when Anne opened the door. Anne walked into the room slowly with a glass of water in her hands. She placed it down on the bedside table next to the untouched plate of food she brought up just a couple of hours ago.
Harry closed his eyes once more as he pulled the blanket tighter against his body. Anne took a seat on the bed next to him and began running her hand through his hair. “It’s heartbreaking to see you this way” Anne whispered quietly.
Harry remained silent, used to hearing the same words used by all his friends and family:
“Everything’s going to be okay someday”-How could it be? He just lost his best friend.
“Just know she’s in a happier place”- Could it be such a happy place if she wasn’t here on Earth anymore? “She lived a happy life.” - She could be living a happy, longer life. With him.
Anne’s eyes glanced to the picture frame that was on the bedside table. She stared at the picture taken about three years ago. As she continued staring at the picture, her eyes started to well up with tears.
Y/N was carefully wiping the cake off her nose, careful to not wipe off any of her makeup. Harry was standing next to her, rubbing a towel against his cheek. Y/N looked at him through the reflection of the washroom mirror. “I thought we agreed to not be those cliche couples that smash the cake into each other’s face” you joked.
Harry removed the towel from his face and smiled. “Love, it’s a tradition! Everyone does it on their wedding day” he pointed out as he turned to look at you properly. Y/N let out a chuckle as she threw away the tissue into a nearby trashcan. “Did you really have to smash it against me that hard though?”
Harry walked over to his new wife and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry Mrs. Styles. It was never my intention.” Y/N softly smiled as she straightened out her new husband’s tie. “It’s alright. I know you’ll make up it up to me tonight” Y/N smirked, her hands resting on his chest.
Harry’s eyes went wide as Y/N tried to hold back her giggle. Harry placed his hands on Y/N’s waist, careful not to stand on her beautiful, white dress. “Mrs. Styles, are you flirting with me?” Y/N let out a chuckle before she stepped out of Harry’s hold. The newly wed couple exited the washroom and began walking towards where the reception was being held.
Just before they waked in, Harry turned to his wife. “Ready?” Y/N smiled as she nodded her head, “Always.”
The room was filled with friends and family. Everyone static to celebrate Y/N and Harry’s love. There was a sense of happiness that floated around the room. One of the photographers noticed the couple walking in. Immediately he pulled out his camera, “Smile, lovebirds!”
Harry pulled Y/N close to him, his hand on her waist as he placed a kiss on the cheek. Y/N placed her hand on Harry’s check as she looked at the camera and smiled.
Anne fiddled with her fingers on her lap. Lately it’s been hard talking to her son. For all his life, he could talk to her. When he was little and got a scape on the knee, she could put a bandaid on it and everything will be right in the world. When he was a teen and just experienced his first heartbreak, Anne was the one to tell him there were so many other fishes in the sea and to stop dwelling on someone that wasn’t worth his time. When Harry first introduced Y/N to Anne, she was the one that told him that Y/N was special and to never let her go.
What was she supposed to do when he lost his wife?
Harry opened his eyes, his eyes looking everywhere else but at Anne. “Mum, just…I want to be alone.” Harry’s raspy voice let out as he buried himself more into the blankets on the bed.
Anne bit her lip as she nodded her head. Quietly she let herself out of what used to be Y/N and Harry’s shared room.
Harry ran his hand over his face, his bloodshot eyes staring at the papers in front of him. Gemma and Anne quietly sat on both sides of Harry, watching his every move.
“Would you like the deceased to be buried or cremated?”
Harry closed his eyes to prevent the tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. He took a deep breath, his leg beginning to bounce as his hands began to shake.
Gemma cleared her throat. “Buried,” Gemma whispered quietly. Anne reached over and grabbed Harry’s hand. Her heart filling with sorrow.
The funeral director nodded. His mouth set in a straight line. “Will you be going with the traditional ceremony with a casket present or not present?”
Suddenly, Harry stood up and walked out the room. Gemma was quick to go after her younger brother while Anne stayed back with the director.
“Harry!” Gemma called out as Harry was pacing out the door. Gemma placed her hand on his shoulder, trying to get him to slow down. Harry turned around and quickly hugged his sister as he sobbed into her neck. Gemma was quick to wrap her arms around him, her own tears began to pour.
Gemma walked down the stairs, a baby monitor in her hands. Y/N was sitting down on the couch sipping a glass of wine. Gemma let out a breath as she plopped down next to her. “Little bugger is finally asleep.”
Y/N smiled. “You have a beautiful little girl, Gem.” Gemma turned her head and smiled at Y/N. “Thanks love but trust me, when you and Harry have children of your own, they’ll be absolutely gorgeous.”
Y/N blushed at Gemma’s words. Her finger tip tracing the wine glass. A moment of silence passed before Gemma finally spoke up. “Have you guys talked about having children?”
Y/N sighed. “We have. But…I don’t know if we’re quite ready.” Y/N admitted as she turned her body towards Gemma and leaned her head against the couch.
Gemma picked up her own wine glass before turning to Y/N as well. “You guys have been married for two years now. Surely you guys are ready.” Y/N shook her head as she stared into her glass. “His album is almost about to release. Then he’s going to have to go on press tours, then soon enough an actual tour. He’s going to be gone for a long time. I don’t think I can handle being pregnant by myself yet alone care for a newborn.”
Gemma nodded, her mind flashing back to when she first had her daughter. She doesn’t know what she would’ve done without her husband helping along the way. “I think you and Harry are able to take over the world.”
Y/N let out a chuckle. Gemma shook her head, “No, I’m serious. It’s hard and almost rarely seeing a love that you and Harry have. It’s the kind of love you see in movies. I don’t think anything or anyone can ruin that. Having a baby, having children will bring the two of you closer if humanly possible. And Y/N, I know my brother will love that little bug more than life itself. I know he’s willing to drop anything and everything for you. I believe in you guys.”
Y/N’s head tilted as she smiled at her sister in law. Careful not to spill her drink, she leaned over and pulled Gemma in for a hug. “I think the best part of marrying Harry was getting you as a sister.” Y/N admitted. Gemma softly smiled as she returned the hug.
Harry walked into his room and shut the door. He instantly went to Y/N’s side of the bed. He didn’t bother taking off his clothes nor did he bother wiping his tear stained face. He had an excuse. He just came back from Y/N’s fucking funeral.
Harry looked over to Y/N’s bedside table. Everything remained untouched from the last time Y/N was here. Y/N’s reading glasses were on top of her favorite novel that she’s read too many times to count. Her favorite candle to light around fall was halfway gone. There was an empty glass that was always filled because she would always be incredibly thirsty when she woke up in the morning.
Lying on the middle of the table was Y/N’s engagement ring.
Harry demanded that Y/N was buried with her wedding band on. In his head it meant that Y/N would be with him forever. Harry picked up the engagement ring. As he stared at the beautiful ring that took a pretty big chunk out of his bank account, memories of his marriage started to play in his head: how he asked Y/N’s parents for her hand in marriage, how he picked out the ring with both Anne and Y/N’s mother, how he proposed, how Y/N looked when he got down on his knee. He thought about the pride he felt when he would hold Y/N’s hand and feel her ring on her, he thought about the fights that only made them stronger. He thought about how he was supposed to fucking grow old with Y/N. He thought about it all.
And it killed him.
“Gah!” Harry yelled out in frustration as he threw the ring across the room. Harry wrapped his arms around himself as he laid his head against Y/N’s pillow, her smell still lingering. Harry let out a sob. He stared at the ceiling. “You promised! You fucking promised!” Harry yelled through his sobs, his hands flying to his face.
One night when Harry and Y/N were both 18, they took a drive together. They let the night carry them away. The car ride was filled with laughter, smiles, story telling, happiness. They drove until they were miles away from the city. They were driving away from all their troubles, promising to return.
Eventually they stopped in a field a hundred miles away from civilization. The only light was from the lantern Harry kept in his car for emergencies. Harry and Y/N were laying on the hood of his car, staring at the million of stars in front of them, something you would never be able to see in a busy city like London.
“Does it ever scare you?” Y/N whispered, her eyes never once leaving the beautiful sight in front of her. Harry looked over at his girlfriend, his eyebrows raised. “About what, love?”
Y/N looked at those beautiful green eyes she would always get lost in. “About how fast everything is changing for us?”
And things were changing. Harry was in one of the biggest bands in history, their success growing more and more each day while Y/N tackled the hardship of being a uni student. It was a sore topic. To talk about the idea of someday growing apart.
Harry nodded his head as he gave Y/N’s hand a squeeze. “Sometimes it scares me. It scares me how much I love you. How much I adore you. How I couldn’t see myself with any other person than you.”
Harry’s words brought a smile to Y/N’s face. She leaned up and looked at her boyfriend. “I will love you forever, Harry Styles.”
Harry leaned up, a smile decorated on his face. He brought Y/N’s hands to his lips, placing a kiss on it. “Promise me something, petal?” Y/N nodded her head, “Anything, H.”
“Promise me no matter what obstacles come our way, no matter what life throws at us, no matter how many people are telling us no, promise me. Promise you’ll never leave me.”
Y/N smiled. This was a promise she would be sure to keep. Nothing would make her say otherwise. She placed a small kiss on Harry’s lips. With her forehead leaning against his, “I promise.”
Harry pulled his knees to his chest. He began to rock back and forth, the tears never leaving his eyes. Through his sobs, Harry whispered to himself, “You promised.”
eh idk. is this too repetitive to the things i write? lol at first i was like damn this gonna be good but then i was like oh god AM I SELLING OUT.
— You and Bucky are roommates and you ask for him to
teach you to be better at sex so you can please another guy —
“Y/N!” You heard your
roommate shout from across the apartment. “Have you seen my shirt?!”
“Why of course, I know
exactly what you do with all your shirts. What type, what color, what brand are
you looking for? Wait, let me just look into my Bucky Barnes archives…” You
shouted back with way too much sass.
A shirtless Bucky poked
his head around the door of your bedroom. “Hardy har har.” He returned before
coming fully into the room. “You’re overly sassy for no apparent reason. What’s
going on?” He strutted over to the bed and took the book from your hands as he
sat down. “Chaucer?” he questioned. “You only subject yourself to Chaucer when
you’re in a bad mood.”
“Yea, well I had a change
of heart.” You retort as you try to snag your book back. He pulled it further
from your reach. “Buck, give me my book back.”
“No, not until you tell
me why you’re in full sass mode today.”
“Well, then I’ll never
get it back.” You sighed as you crossed your arms in front of your chest and
leaned back against the headboard.
“C’mon Y/N. I’m your best
friend. You can tell me anything.” He spoke as he smiled one of his killer
‘your panties just melted’ smiles. Except, you knew when he smiled like that to
you, it was merely platonic. Which sucked.
“Ok fine” you huffed out.
“The truth is…” you began as you sat up. “Steve is my best friend.”
Bucky let out a
frustrated groan and threw your book back in your general direction. “As if.
You know you like me better.” He stood in front of you and stared down; His
eyes traveling up and down your body. “If you don’t tell me then I’ll just tickle
you until you do.”
You made a face at that.
“Don’t do that.”
Bucky started to walk
towards the side of the bed where you sat. “You’ve left me with no choice,
Doll.” He got closer and grabbed your arm as you tried to scramble away.
“OK, OK!! Don’t do it.
I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you!” Bucky released you from his grip.
“There. Was that so hard?
Now spill, Doll. Whats going on?”
You sat up once again and
brushed your fingers through your hair. “Fine, but stand over there.” Bucky’s
eyes travelled to where you pointed.
“You want me to stand in
the corner?” His ‘you-cant-be-serious’ look took over his face. “You cant be
You sighed as you began
to explain. “I need you to be as far away from me as possible when I tell you
this. Its embarrassing.”
Bucky crossed his arms
and began to retreat to the corner. “Fine. Makes total sense, Weirdo.”
You ignored his comment
and pulled your knees up under your chin. “Ok. There is no easy way to say this
so im just gonna do it.” You sucked in a deep breath. “I don’t know how to have
sex. Not well anyway. I have this date with this guy on Friday and its going to
be the third date. Everyone knows the third date rule! I don’t want to suck.”
You finished with a deep breath, recovering your oxygen levels from your intense
“You’re still going out
with that guy?” Bucky demanded as he began to near you again.
You pointed your finger
back at him. “Stay! And yes I am.”
“Why the fuck–?” he
started but caught himself before he revealed too much. “Y/N, look, sex is sex.
Its, uh, its not that big of a deal. Im sure youll be great.” He said as he
rubbed the back of his neck.
“It’s a huge deal, Buck!
HUGE! Its sex!”
“You’ve had, uh, sex
“Twice.” He repeated.
“Yes, twice. I’m going to
suck. I know it.”
“Youre not going to suck.
It’s not possible”
“How would you know,
Buck? Its not like we’ve had sex.” Bucky couldn’t argue with that, they hadn’t,
despite how much he wanted to. “Which is why I’m asking you to help me.” You
said, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts. “I want you to make me better at
Buckys head shot up from
the direction of his feet, eyes wide. “WHAT?!”
“Please Buck, you said it
yourself: sex is sex. Whats the harm if you teach me the ins and outs of it. No
pun intended.” You smirked to yourself.
“You’re my best friend!”
he spoke in an attempt to find an excuse.
“Friends have sex all the
time. You’d just be helping a friend out.”
Bucky thought of another
excuse. “What makes you think I can teach you anything?”
You chuckled “I think the
plethora of random girls that scream their heads off in pleasure and beg for
more is enough for me to know how good you are.”
Bucky blushed. “You hear
“They’re like banshees,
“Are not.” He huffed
“Are too” You returned.
Bucky crossed and uncrossed his arms before shifting his weight to his left
foot. “Bucky, please. We are always there for each other when the other needs
Bucky let out a sharp
laugh. “Yea, but usually its when you want me to pick up your prescriptions
from the pharmacy or fix the plumbing.”
“Buck, I need you. I know
this is slightly different, but whats the harm?”
“I don’t know.” Bucky
pulled his phone from his back pocket to check the time. “I have to go meet
Steve. Just let me think about it.” He pocketed his phone again and turned to
leave the room.
“Don’t forget a shirt!”
You called after him.
Bucky opened the door to
the café and scanned the room for his friend. When he saw the over compensating
build and light hair he started towards one of the window tables. “Steve.”
Steve looked up from his
view of the city and smiled as he saw his oldest friend. “Bucky, its good to
Bucky took a seat
opposite of Steve ordered a coffee when the waitress came around. “Hows
“Great.” Steve began.
“Sharon is great. We got a cat.”
Bucky chuckled. “A cat?
Since when are you a cat person?”
“Since Sharon is a cat
person.” He smirked. “But, whats going on with you? Hows Y/N?”
“Funny that you bring her
up.” Bucky said before he smiled and thanked the waitress for his coffee.
“Oh yea?” Steve smiled.
“Finally tell her how you feel, did you?
“Yea right. Cause that
would go over soooo well.”
“Oh c’mon man, you’ve
liked her since she moved in.”
“Doesn’t matter, she
doesn’t feel the same. She, uh, asked me this morning to help her become a pro
Steve choked on his
coffee and reached for a napkin to clean the drops from his chin. “What!?”
“Yea.” Bucky signed and
sipped his drink
“What exactly does that
“She wants us to have
sex.” Bucky replied nonchalantly. “She wants us to have sex until shes good at
“Shes got this date on
Friday. Says it’s the third date so they HAVE to have sex for some stupid
reason.” He huffed.
“Well,” Steve started
“Think of the Bright side: Youll get to have sex with the girl you love.”
“Smooth attempt at making
me feel better, pal, but there is no bright side. She wants me for the wrong
reason. Its not like she loves me back.”
“All the more reason to
tell her. Maybe she just hasn’t thought of you in that way yet and telling her
may open her eyes.”
“I don’t know, man. Shes
pretty determined. I think if she liked me she’d know.”
“Just think about it,
“Its all I think about.
Which makes me think I cant go through with this.”
you definitely cannot go through with this.”
reentered his apartment after a long and thoughtful conversation with Steve. He
had a very valid point: there was no way Bucky could go through with this, but
the more he thought about it, the more he didn’t want to disappoint Y/N. She felt insecure and that was the last thing
Bucky wanted. So he could do this just once, right?
Y/N called, stepping out of her bedroom. “Are you alright? You seem a little
dazed.” She continued once she saw his facial expression.
well what do you expect?” Bucky mumbled to himself as Y/N entered the kitchen
to put on a pot of coffee.
you say something?”
No.” He hurriedly spit out. Y/N returned her attention to the coffee maker.
“So, I was thinking…” she met his eyes as he continued. “We could try what you
proposed. Just once. I’ll tell you what you want to know from that one time,
but no more. Deal?”
squealed in appreciation. “Oh Bucky, you have no idea what this means to me.
Thank you so much.”
jumped into his arms and wrapped her own around his neck. “Yea. I mean what are
friends for right?”
she smiled. She was so beautiful that he almost kissed her right then and
there, but he quickly stepped away.
uh, how do you want to go about this?” Bucky questioned as he rubbed the back
of his neck.
say we just jump into it. I mean, this is practically for science. No need to
beat around the bush.”
felt his heart crumble just a bit. Hearing her say those words was the last
thing he wanted. If anything, he wanted this to mean something to her in the
slightest. But clearly it didn’t. “Alright.” He spoke clearly frustrated. He
reached for the hem of his shirt and aimed to pull it over his head, but was
stopped by Y/Ns soft hand on top of his.
me.” She lifted his shirt off for him and Bucky thought he had never been more
turned on. Y/N pulled hers off and slipped out of her sleep shorts then turned
and strutted off into her bedroom.
Bucky mumbled as he followed after her.
he stepped through the door, she was standing there waiting for him in just her
underwear. He eased himself closer to her and she reached for the belt around
his hips. ‘This is so bad’ he thought as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled
her up to him. She looked into his eyes and down to his lips. Slowly, she
reached up and pressed her lips to his in the softest of motions. Bucky fell
completely into it and Y/N placed her hand on the back of his neck in an
attempt to pull him closer, but Bucky pulled away. He couldn’t do this. It just
she whispered as she placed her hands on either sides of his face. “Whats the
gripped her hands in his own and removed them from his face. “I cant do this.”
He spoke so quietly; it was practically to himself.
Her face twisted in concern.
cant do this.” Bucky said a little louder so she could hear him, but this time
it was laced with a bit of frustration.
took a few steps away from her. “I just cant.” He grabbed for his shirt, but
Y/N stepped up into his space and grabbed it from him before he could put it
on. “Y/N, give me my shirt back.”
Buck. Not until you tell me whats going on.”
keep it.” He huffed as he headed for the door.
Y/N yelled after him. “Bucky, wait!”
chased him out the door and into their tiny living room. She grabbed his arm to
keep him from getting further away from her. “Y/N, Stop!” Bucky yelled as he
tried to break free from her grasp. She was deceptively strong.
please just tell me whats going on.” He could hear the sadness in her voice. It
almost broke his heart. “Please.” She whispered. Bucky turned to face her with
a cold expression on his face. He figured it was better than showing her his
true emotions in this moment. ‘Did I do something wrong?” He met her eyes in
shock. That was the last possible problem. “Do you not want me?” Slowly, tears
began to fall down her cheeks.
sighed. “That is not possible.” He whispered
You didn’t do anything wrong and its definitely not because I don’t want you,
OK?” He reached up and brushed the tears from her cheeks.
what is it?”
lying.” She was starting to get angry.
Im n-“ he started, but was interrupted.
you are!” Y/N was a full on mix of pissed and distressed. “Tell me!” she
ME!” She screamed again.
LOVE YOU!” Bucky yelled in her face before he’d even realized what he was
doing. He breathed heavily, eyes looking directly at her before he stepped back
and looked to his feet. “I love you.” He spoke again, much quieter.
just don’t.” Bucky rushed past her back to her room and put his shirt back on. When
he got back to the living room, Y/N was still standing there in shock. “I have
to go.” He grabbed his keys of the hook and slammed the door, knocking Y/N out
of her shock.
opened the door to her and her boyfriends apartment to find Bucky standing in
the doorway, his head hung low, soaked to the bone. It must’ve been pouring
outside. “Bucky, come in.” When he didn’t make a move to enter the apartment,
she grabbed him by his arm and slowly pulled him inside. “Steve!?” she yelled
“Can you come here?”
walked out from their bedroom. “Yea, babe- Bucky?”
just showed up. Im going to go get some towels and an extra shirt.” She said
ask she walked Bucky over to the couch and helped him sit down before walking
to the bathroom. Steve inched closer to his friend and sat down across from
he spoke, but got no response. “Bucky?” he tried again. “What happened?”
looked up from his hands, but refused to meet Steve’s eyes. “I told her.”
that’s good isn’t it?” Steve questioned.
Steve, its not. We were about to have sex?”
were going to do it!?”
once. She was doubting herself and you know how I get when she does that. I was
only going to do it once and help her. I thought I could suppress my feelings
for one time.”
kissed her once and I couldn’t do it. Before I knew it, I was yelling that I
love her and now im here.”
placed a hand on his friends shoulder as his girlfriend returned with the shirt
and towels. She placed them next to Bucky to use as he needed.
did she say?” Steve asked.
Bucky sighed. “She just stood there. So I left. Well, actually I started to
leave the second after I told her.”
didn’t give her a chance to say anything?”
couldn’t, Steve. I just had to get out of there.”
Buck.” Steve started “Just stay here tonight, ok?” he sighed. “But tomorrow you
have to talk to her.”
eyes widened. “No, Steve. I cant.”
can. And you will. She is the only girl you’ve ever given a fuck about, never
mind the fact that she and Sharon get along great. You’ve made yourself a nice
little mess and you’re going to fix it so we can all still be friends. Im too
used to our little foursome now to have it fall apart at the seams.”
you the one who told me to tell her how I felt?”
stood from his chair. “Yea. I was thinking more of a sweet scenario where you
buy her flowers and don’t bolt after you tell her.”
grumbled and wrapped a bright, pink towel around his shoulders. “Well you
figured it was implied, Buck” Steve began to turn towards is bedroom. “Couch is
all yours for tonight. Enjoy, stretch out, think of ways to get your girl. But
im gonna turn in. My lady is waiting.”
made a face. “Steve, I swear if you guys have sex 20 feet away from me…”
Buck, Sharon and I are hardcore cuddlers.”
please, Buck if you had Y/N you’d cuddle nonstop.”
remind me that I don’t have her.” Bucky returned as he stretched out onto the
Bucky.” Steve sighed and retreated to his bedroom where is girlfriend waited
for him. Lucky bastard Bucky thought.
jolted awake at the sound of 3 sharp knocks. He could have sworn he imagined it
and was getting ready to settle back into sleep when he heard it again. He
grabbed his phone from his pant pocket which had long been discarded onto the
floor halfway through the night. It was 3:30 am. What the hell. Bucky groaned
as he sat up and walked his shirtless, underwear clad body into Steve and
Sharon’s room. Sharon was nestled up against Steves side and their cat sat on
his chest, rising and falling in rhythm with Steves breathing. Bucky shuffled
forward to Steves side and nudged his shoulder until he woke up.
eyes slowly opened and looked into those of his best friend. “Bucky, what the
early for cursing don’t you think, Cap?”
sighed and laid his head back on his pillow. “What do you want, Buck?” He
whispered in an effort not to stir his girlfriend.
a knock on your door” Bucky spoke nonchalantly as he pointed in its general
a knock-“ Bucky started but what interrupted by the knock itself. “See?”
sat up slightly, causing the cat to jump of his chest and Sharon to slowly
shift in her sleep. “And you woke me because…?”
don’t know. Its 3:30 am. Its dark. Im vulnerable. It could be a psycho killer
and im not in the mood.”
pushed the sheets of his legs and sat up. “Are you kidding me, Buck? Youre the
fucking winter soldier.”
began to walk towards the door as the knocking continued with Bucky hot on his
heels. “Yea, well you’re Captain America. We are equally as capable of opening
the door, but this is your apartment so I figured id let you. Just in case it
is a psycho killer, youd be able to say you defended your own domicile.”
thanks.” Steve huffed as he reached for the doorknob. The door opened to reveal
a slightly disheveled Y/N in none other than her pajamas. Bucky and Steve
stared at her for a moment before Steve turned to Bucky. “Well, it’s for you.
Totally get why you were scared though. She looks like a murderous demon.”
Steve sighed sarcastically. “Im going back to bed. Lovely to see you though
Y/N. Sharon misses you like crazy. I mean it’s been like what, 3 weeks since
we’ve seen you. Crazy how time flies, we should really-“ Steve continued before
behind interrupted by Bucky.
go to bed.” Bucky spoke without taking his eyes off Y/N.
geez, fine. Goodnight Y/N”
Steve. “Y/N returned with a feeble smile.
Steve was definitely in his room, Bucky turned back to face Y/N. “What are you
we need to talk.”
Y/N if this is about earlier then theres no need. I-“
love you, Bucky.” Y/N interrupted.
was Buckys turn to stand there in shock.
snapped back to his senses and was less than pleased. “Is this some kind of
sick joke to you? That’s really low Y/N. I spill my guts and you have the
audacity to make fun of me for it.” Bucky turned back into the apartment but
Y/n followed him in, shutting the door behind her.
im not lying.”
are too. You are supposed to go out on a date this weekend. You don’t love me.
If you did, you wouldn’t date that idiot.”
you said you love me and you had sex 3 days ago. Not with me, I might add.” Y/N
replied laced with a little frustration.
I had to get my frustrations out somehow. I’m not the one who suggested we have
casual buddy sex.”
I was just really confused ok? I really thought that if we had sex once that
I’d get over you. I don’t even have a date this weekend. I broke up with Mike
after he slapped our waitress’ ass as she walked by on our last date.”
Bucky mumbled. “So you tricked me into sex?”
is such a harsh word.”
an accurate one” Bucky finished.
didn’t even have sex Bucky. I didn’t even think id be able to go through with
it. I just wanted to propose the idea to see how youd react. To see if you
wanted me too. I almost died when you pulled away from me.”
looked up into her eyes. “Yea, well you got what you wanted didn’t you?”
detected a hint of anger in his words. “Are you actually mad at me? Bucky, we
love each other. Or at least we did a couple hours ago.”Bucky refused to speak.
It lasted so long that Y/N turned to leave. “Fine, Bucky. Ill just go” Y/N was
stopped by a firm grip on her wrist. She looked up and Bucky pulled her to him,
kissing her like his life depended on it. Y/N kissed back with as much ferocity
as she could. It was passionate and sexy and melting. Y/N had wanted this for
so long and it was amazing. They pulled apart only to breathe and Bucky brushed
his fingers through her hair.
love each other?” He spoke as he rested his forehead on hers.
cant believe it.” Bucky chuckled. “I’ve been in love with you since you moved
years, Four months, and eighteen days.” Y/N whispered.
Buckys head snapped up in shock.
how long we’ve lived together.”
Bucky stepped back from her embrace and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.
know because that’s how long ive loved you too.”
loved me that long too? You had a boyfriend when you moved in.”
know, which is weird now that I think about it because he let me move in with
another man. He said he wasn’t worried, but he should have been.”
the reason you dumped that guy a month after you moved in?” Bucky questioned.
Y/N only nodded in response. “I cant believe it.” Bucky sighed. “I hated that
giggled and moved to cup his face with both hands. “That’s what he told me.”
yea right. How would he know?”
don’t know. I didn’t see it either, but he insisted that you liked me and
wanted to kill him with your metal arm.”
chuckled and crossed is arms over his chest. “Well, the guy wasn’t as big of an
idiot as I thought.”
ridiculous.” Y/N laughed.
grabbed Y/Ns hand and walked her over to the couch. He laid down and pulled her
on top of him.
what are you doing?”
getting ready to sleep with the girl I love.” He replied as he readjusted his
shouldn’t we go home? You know, since you aren’t mad at me anymore?”
please, doll. I was never mad at you. More just mad at myself. Also, Sharon and
Steve miss you didn’t you hear? And all I want to do is take you home and stay
in bed with you for days, but I figure I owe them a favor for letting me stay
and whine. So, tomorrow we can all go out and they’ll stop complaining about
never seeing you, THEN we will stay in bed for days.”
great plan, Barnes.”
I thought so.” He smiled his cheeky grin. “But for now we will sleep together
and actually sleep.”
“Baby?” Ashton’s voice sounds from
the other side of the door.
“Yeah?” you call back, your words
less clear than they would be if you didn’t have a toothbrush
spinning against your molars. When you don’t hear a response, you
take a step away from the counter and grab the handle of the closed
bathroom door, pulling it open enough to peak through the crack.
A bright flash of light startles you,
sending you hiding behind the barrier again. “Ashton,”
you scorn lightheartedly, spitting a mouthful of toothpaste foam into
the sink and rinsing it down with water. You place the electronic
brush back on its holder and cautiously open the door again, making
sure the coast is clear before fully entering the bedroom.
“I think this is
my best one,” Ashton says proudly, shaking a developing Polaroid
photo from his reclined position in bed.
You roll up the
cuffs of your long sleeves as you cross the room, yet to change into
pajamas. “You could’ve at least told me to smile,” you tut,
reaching the end of the mattress and tilting onto your hands and
knees, beginning the slow crawl up Ashton’s lengthy legs. With one hand on
the camera beside him and the other catering to the picture, Ashton
leaves plenty of room for you to prop yourself on top of his
“But then it
wouldn’t have been in the moment,” Ashton argues, earning
himself a well-deserved eye roll. If you had a dollar every time he
excused his impromptu photo shoots of you with the phrase “in the
moment,” you’d have enough money to buy a new boyfriend.
Still, you’re glad
to see Ashton enjoying his birthday gift. As a professional
photographer, he’s accumulated a collection over the years of
expensive cameras, lenses, sources of light and other equipment, but
an old fashioned Polaroid was always the one thing missing, so you
decided to use the special occasion to help out.
Ashton glances at
the photo he just took and smiles, flipping it with his fingers to
aim it in your direction. “Look at how cute you are.”
whisper bashfully, catching his wrist to lower the picture out of
sight. “No more.”
“One more?” he
bargains, placing his hand over the camera on the bed beside him.
“Why?” you huff.
“Because I love
You take a deep
breath, unable to stand your ground against that. Ashton smirks and
raises the camera to his face, squinting an eye behind the view
finder and resting his index on the shutter button, but he surprises
you by lowering the camera before the photo is taken and setting it on
the mattress again. You’re confused until his hands reach out to you
and he begins to tamper with the buttons going down the front of your
shirt, undoing them one by one until your bra and stomach make an
appearance between the hems. You watch in awe as he takes the time to
admire the new exposure, knowing that he genuinely does like what he
sees. His free palm flattens over the top of your thigh as he repeats
the steps of setting the camera up again, a squeeze given to your leg
as a flash of light captures the moment.
Ashton pinches the
corner of the photo as it slides out of the bottom of the camera,
fanning it briefly before setting it upside down on the nightstand.
“Gonna want to
save that for later,” he teases.
You smile and peel
the camera from his fingers, pushing it out of the way toward the
other side of the bed. “No more,” you restate softly, leaning
forward to cup his jaw and to press your lips to his.
argue this time, preferring to kiss you instead. His breath hitches
when your body sinks down to his, his hands taking their cue to run
along your back sensually, making their way under the fabric of your
shirt and raising goosebumps on your skin in their wake. Your hips
wiggle temptingly as you readjust the positioning of your legs,
provoking an accidental groan from Ashton that’s shortly followed by
a spurt of energy, flipping the two of you over.
His mouth travels
from your lips to your neck where his teeth start nipping individual
bites of affection, your fingers tangling into his curly hair and
pulling when he gets aggressive. He nudges your shirt off of your
shoulders to make room for his kisses to expand, littering every inch
of your collarbones and beyond with the loving touch of his lips
until he’s forced to pull away to catch his breath.
enough of you,” he whispers just loud enough for you to hear,
tugging lightly at your opened shirt. “Want this off.”
You smile and sit
up, making the process of sliding the material down your arms a
little easier for Ashton. He tosses the clothing to the ground once
it’s freed, catching one of your hands and planting kisses to your
knuckles, wrist, and up your forearm on his way to your face where he
dips his head to taste your lips again.
Before he gets too
caught up in you, though, you want to make things a bit more equal.
you request, bunching and releasing a fistful of his plain black tee.
Ashton is happy to
cooperate, leaving a kiss to the corner of your mouth before pushing
himself up to his knees. He shows off his arms as he reaches behind
his neck for the collar of his shirt to yank the whole thing over his head, and as you watch him do so, an impulsive idea comes to mind.
You grab the
Polaroid camera that’s been abandoned next to you, quickly checking
to make sure it’s still turned on before aligning the view finder to your
left eye and snapping a not-so-secretive picture of Ashton removing
his top. If the flash didn’t give you away, the noisy printing of the
film afterward certainly did, but you’re not trying to hide anything,
waving the developing photo around confidently as Ashton did to you.
His expression is
revealed when his shirt comes off, a playful curl lifting one side of
said no more?” he asks mischievously, leaning forward to place a
hand on either side of your ribs.
dropping the new Polaroid in with the others on the surface of the
nightstand. “Guess I lied.”
tantalizingly, dividing your legs farther apart with his knees to
settle himself in between, slowly taking the camera from your hand
when he mutters, “Gonna regret that, sweetheart.”
Thus begins a game
of back and forth, ownership of the camera being passed between you
as the two of you wrestle for dominance, as your bodies are gradually
stripped of clothing, as your desire for each other becomes more
heated. Ashton manages to photograph an image of his thumb roughly
tracing your lips, to which you counter with a picture of his bare
torso as you straddle him and carve scratches down his chest. His
retaliation is taken when you’re on your back, bucking your hips to
ease your jeans down the curve of your ass, but the camera falls into
your hands again to document the sight of Ashton’s head between your
legs while he lustfully takes his time kissing hickeys up your inner thighs. With
each change of position comes a variety of snapshots, falling from
the camera and getting lost somewhere in the sheets for later
reflection. By the time you and Ashton have forgotten the Polaroid to
focus on each other physically, you’re rolling around on a bunch of
scattered film strips that practically slideshow your foreplay.
Both spent and
breathing heavily, you and Ashton collapse onto the queen sized
mattress, resting your heads on the pillows as your heart rates slow to normality. You lazily turn on your side to face him,
chuckling when you see that one of the printed photos has adhered to his
shoulder, and doing him a favor by peeling it off. Ashton looks to
you when he hears you squeal, watching as you cover your
eyes in embarrassment.
laughs. “Which one is it?”
An answer isn’t
provided, so he takes the picture to see for himself, smirking upon
realizing it’s the one he took of you with a certain body part of his being cared for in your mouth.
“Aw, love, don’t
be shy now,” Ashton coos, digging an arm under your body and
pulling you into his chest, pressing his lips to your forehead in
comfort. “I really liked that.”
You shake your
head knowingly, grabbing another photo lying in the space between
your and Ashton’s hips. “What are we gonna do with all these?”
Ashton tilts his
chin to look at the image with you and takes a deep breath. “Make
an album, I guess.”
laugh, plowing your elbow into his side.
another kiss to your temple. “We should keep them, though.
Something to remind us of how hot we were when we’re old.”
glancing up at him. “You think we’ll be together that long?” you
ask, a bit surprised by the certainty in his statement.
covers the one you’re using to tickle his stomach. “Well you were here for
this birthday,” he says softly. “Wouldn’t mind ya sticking around
for fifty more.”