This post came about after watching Louise Pentland’s video on it which you can watch here. also happy international women’s day to all my lovely lil ladies
It wasn’t until I watched Louise’s video that I realised how much I apologise for myself. I apologise for the state of my hair, I apologise for not looking my best, I apologise if someone bumps into me, I apologise is my handwriting’s a little messier than usual, I apologise for my anxiety - that I have little to no control over, I apologise for taking up space; I apologise for everything, really.
I say things like ‘I’m sorry if I’m being annoying’ or ‘I’m sorry you had to deal with me like that’ or ‘I’m sorry that my hair’s a mess’ or ‘I’m sorry I talk too much’ or ‘I’m sorry I rambled’ or ‘I’m sorry I’m me’ or ‘I’m sorry I laugh too loud’. I apologise for everything.
I’ve conditioned myself to apologise for me. My entire existence, I have apologised for. A lot of you probably do the same and it’s something that we really need to stop.
You don’t need to apologise for how you look, you don’t need to justify an outfit you’re wearing, you don’t need to apologise for your anxiety or if you have spots, you don’t need to apologise if you ran out the house without make up on or your hair up, you don’t need to apologise if you get excited about something and talk a lot, you don’t need to apologise for asking questions…
Stop apologising for yourself.
You are this incredibly unique person, you have so much potential inside you. Stars burn bright behind your eyes and fire floods your veins. So stop apologising for yourself. You deserve to treat yourself better. You deserve to hold your head up and say, ‘Yeah I got out of bed and I might not look like Kylie Jenner but I’m me and that’s okay. I’m not going to apologise for that.’ instead of ‘Oh I’m sorry I look a mess… slept in today’. No. You deserve to live a life without apologising for things like that. You deserve to live a life where you can be you and look how you look and you deserve to be okay with that.
Anyone else with sensory processing disorder like, not develop it until their teen years? I used to be able to handle loud sounds and most textures, but as I aged I became increasingly sensitive, and now I have to be really careful about textures I come in contact with, being in public, and noise. Even smells have become increasingly unbearable! What happened to me?
Tristan: You shouldn’t have tried to wait for me… Arabella: But… yawn… I always did. Tristan: I know, but you two need to rest now… plus you know that I’m such a creep that I love watching you asleep. Arabella: Then… you might… be just in time for that…