I did not want to join yoga class. I hated those soft-spoken, beatific instructors. I worried that the people in the class could fold up like origami and I’d fold up like a bread stick. I understood the need for stretchy clothes but not for total anatomical disclosure. But my hip joints hurt and so did my shoulders, and my upper back hurt even more than my lower back and my brain would. not. shut. up. I asked my doctor about medication and he said he didn’t like the side effects and was pretty sure I wouldn’t, either.

So I signed up for Gentle Mind and Body Yoga, the pre-K of yoga classes. I think the principle is that you get into some pose that has cosmic implications and then hold the pose until you are enlightened or bored silly. I like the bridge pose, where you lie flat on your back and put a rubber block under your butt. I purely hate the eagle pose, where you wind your arms around each other and then wrap your legs around each other and stand on one foot; I drop like a sprayed mosquito.

The teacher is forgiving: “Yogi’s choice,” she says, meaning that I’m now a yogi and I can do what I want. She says we’re not trying to get anywhere, and I deeply appreciate not trying to get anywhere.

A Skeptic Fact-Checks Yoga’s Health Claims And Goes With The Om

Illustration: Jenn Liv for NPR

Shit Abled People Say #254

My mum, after i express that i think using a cane would help me walking, as my joints hurt constantly, often to the point of me being in tears and incapable of walking:

“We’ll see, if the doctor thinks there’s something wrong then i’ll think about it, but honestly i don’t believe you need one, you can’t be in THAT much pain, you walk fine!!!”

anonymous asked:

so i got my first tangle jr recently and ive been stimming with it almost nonstop and the joints in my fingers kinda started hurting is that bad?

Chronic hand pain stimmer speaking! (Six and a half years in pain next month! Great milestone, right?) While I’m not a doctor and cannot diagnose, I can talk about this aspect of stimming safety with some authority.

The short, scary answer is this: it can be bad. Conditions like carpel tunnel and RSI can be caused or aggravated (brought to flare) by repetitive movement (which is, in effect, what stimming is). Underlying conditions you might not know you have (arthritis and its variations or even, I think, something like EDS) can also be the reason you’re in pain, especially if you think the pain happened too quickly/unreasonably. Based on my own experience with repetitive hand movement, I have absolutely no doubt that constant, unvaried stimming over a long period of time - and your own body’s health and makeup is the determining factor of what is long, not our own mental timetable - can cause harm. And while I’ve had repetitive strain injuries heal normally, I’ve had some that have damaged how my nervous system treats and transmits pain in those areas. I’ve had to learn to be super careful in my stimming to keep bad flares to a minimum.

Don’t panic, though. Please, don’t.

First, if your pain isn’t severe, give yourself a week of gentle hand stimming or non-hand-stimming to give your hands a rest. If you see a change in your pain - that it lessens/ebbs or stops by the end of that time - you’re very likely to be okay. (Then just look at the info below.) If you feel it hasn’t lessened enough or not at all after that time, or your pain is so severe you cannot function normally, go see your GP/family doctor. I know that doctors are often incredibly stressful, especially for neurodiverse folk, and most of us can’t easily have a conversation explaining that we hurt ourselves from stimming too much, so I do advocate, for non-severe pain, resting first.

(By ‘severe’ I don’t mean some arbitrary number scale. Those scales are absurd. I mean: how much is the pain stopping you from doing your daily activities? Are you constantly aware of the pain? Is the pain making you struggle to think? Cry? Feel depressed and frustrated? Struggle to hold a book, pick up a cup, eat? If the pain is more than uncomfortable, doesn’t respond to over-the-counter pain meds and you answer “yes” to any of those questions, see a GP as soon as you can. Do this, because you do not need to be in severe pain.)

Secondly, I’m going to talk on how to stim to avoid pain. I know what it’s like when you get the fabulous toy and it feels so good and this form of stimming is perfection and you just want to stim with it forever. I know. But it’s actually pretty dangerous. The human body wasn’t designed to do the same small repetitive movements over and over in a - comparatively - short space of time, and it will, over time, make us regret doing so. Temporary pain becomes permanent. I don’t wish that on anyone.

Safe stimming includes:

- Alternating your toys on a frequent basis. I wouldn’t use the same hand toy for more than an hour. If you’re using that toy intensively or quickly, I wouldn’t use it for more than half an hour or even less. I have many stim toys I cannot use for more than a few minutes. (Doesn’t mean I don’t love them, though.) Even if all your toys are hand toys, they’ll use different muscle groups, different tendons. Think on how you use your Tangle and then how you might use a stress ball or slime. You’re holding them differently, pulling them differently. Your body needs that change, and pain is often a sign of that need.

(This applies for chewables as well. Alternate chewing sites - back teeth a while, front teeth a while. If you need multiple chewables to accomplish this, do so.)

- Cultivating a large selection of stim toys. This means you have plenty of options for alternating. (Yes, I’m giving you permission to have or make lots of stim toys.) I don’t mean fifteen different Tangles, as much as I, personally, want to have fifteen different Tangles. I mean different types of toys. Is there kinetic sand in your hoard? Play-Doh? Chewables? Beaded fidgets? Bean bags? Soft toys/plushies? Stress balls? Puzzles? Visual stim toys? Texture toys? Noise-making stim toys? Does your collection include different textures and materials? Does it encompass, as much as possible, all the different ways you can stim?

(This whole blog is about doing just this; here’s the DIY tag if you want or need to make your own toys.)

- Ensuring you own gentler stim toys for alternating. I’d love to use my Tangle Fuzzy non-stop. But they’re less great for my hands. I know my problems are issues of grip and tension, so when my hands are bad or to rest them, I seek out stim toys that don’t involve gripping. I run my fingers over a Disney Tsum Tsum plush for the texture. I wriggle my fingers through kinetic sand or stretch fluffy slime. I also make sure my squishable toys are pretty soft (no firm stress balls) and search out fidgets that can be pushed and moved without gripping them. Use and love your less-gentle toys, but swap them with gentler ones.

- Paying attention to your body. What hurts when you stim? Where? Are there toys you have that cause you less pain? Is there a specific action with a stim toy that causes pain? Are you always doing the same motions over and over? This sort of awareness is really hard for autistic folk - I struggle with it. It’s worthwhile trying, though, to build some awareness of what your pain means.

- Giving yourself stim breaks. This can mean not stimming for a little while. It can mean putting down your hand toys in favour of chewellery or bouncing up and down to the same song five times in a row. It can mean switching to visual stims or non-toy stimming (if it uses different body parts). I have to alternate my hand stimming - which is my favourite way to stim - with non-hand stims if I wish to continue hand stimming. Just like an office worker should do from a computer screen, take regular, short breaks from stimming with your hands (or chewing).

I know it’s awful to not be able to do That Perfect Stim, and I know how hard it is to be aware of these safety concerns when you’ve fallen into the zone of stimminess. If you need to, set alarms or reminders on your phone. Ask someone to remind you to switch stim toys. But please, please do try. Chances are high that with a little rest and care, you’ll be fine, but the pain you’re describing is a message from your body and you need to listen to it.

Not listening to it means you end up with chronic pain like me, and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

Ah, human medicine doctors

I’m going to go play the “have your chronic pain and shoulder issue be ignored still because you’re female and not shaped like a twig” game again today. Because last night my stupid shoulder joint hurt worse than my appendicitis ever did and kept me from sleep for most of the night.

Something is not right in the joint. I can feel that, physically, something is not as it should be in the same way that you can feel something being not right in an ankle a short time before you roll it.

I’ve lived with this for about 9 months. I’m tired of being dismissed. I NEED two functioning arms to do my job and this increase in pain makes me scared I’ve fucked up the joint right proper now.

But the doctor will probably just say to take some gabapentin again. Like last time. And promise diagnostics if its not better in 2 weeks…. like last time… only then say, no, 4 weeks, no 6 weeks and at that point its just a low level ache and wrongness that can be worked through because I’m used to working when hurting and I’m sick of the doctor telling me that nothing’s actually wrong. So I go ‘fuck it’ and say I’m better when I’m not.

Rinse repeat. Being a cis woman in the hands of human medicine.

anonymous asked:

Sorry to hear your sick. hope your feeling better today

Thanks nonnie! I am feeling, well, pretty crap, actually, but it is better than yesterday. What was “every joint in my body hurts and a temp of 102 + for the love of god don’t swallow I think my throat is on fire” has become intense fatigue, a funky throat and a lot of sneezing.

Last night wasn’t very fun. I read Star Trek fanfiction before going to bed and had repeated dreams about being in Sick Bay where Bones was trying to synthesise a vaccine to Antilles viral something-or-other ( pretty sure the Antilles was a ship, but never mind) but it kept mutating. I wanted to kick him in the face for being so unsympathetic but was too tired to do so. Also after shivering and baking to death and waking up what felt like 20 million times but was probably only four I decided it must be time to get up now and it was only 3.30 am.

However, it seems to have done the trick. I’m at least up and about. For a given value of such things. I have played Assassin’s Creed Syndicate ALL DAY LONG, which has at least taken my mind off of things =D

Thank you for checking up on me <3

I got showered and washed my hair and exfoliated my face and soaped my body and brushed my teeth and combed my hair and put on clothes to go to the doctor and now I have no spoons to actually go to the doctorrrrrrr I’m exhausted and my joints hurt and my head hurts and I want to go to sleep


I’m a cashier at a grocery store. I have Lyme Disease (which causes my joints and stuff to hurt really badly) anyways, my back is constantly hurting really bad. I was put on restrictions for 3 months. No lifting, twisting, you name it. The week I was able to get back on register, I had a guy start to put ALL of his heavy items on the belt. I politely asked him, “sir, you can leave all your items in your cart. I can scan them there”. He said “Oh no worries! I can handle picking them up and putting them on the belt”
To which I replied, “Yes but I can’t. They’re too heavy for me. If you could just leave them in your cart.” He replies with “Oh, I guess I’ll just make you suffer then!” I stopped scanning his items, looked him dead in the face with a bitchy look saying “Sir, I just got off restrictions for my back last week. I have a back problem. I can not physically pick up your 6 cases of soda.”
He looked at me and apologized.
When a cashier asks you to put your heavy items in your cart, please do it.

anonymous asked:

yellow please

7 facts about my childhood….

1) I grew up in a home that was happy, in a place where I could be myself, be creative, silly, loud, run wild and have fun. My brother and I always had the best time.

2) Every summer we spent almost every weekend on the lake. Boating and camping with our cousins, staying up late having a bonfire. Those are some of my favorite memories.

3) I was constantly getting hurt as a kid. My joints dislocated, I broke bones, twisted ankles, etc. Social services were called in because they thought my parents were hurting me. It was such a scary time for my parents but then we found out I have this weird joint disorder and that’s why my body was a mess.

4) I’m still friends with two girls I met in third grade when I transferred to a different elementary school. We’ve been friends for over twenty years and I’m so proud of that.

5) I wore princess clothes almost every day until I was like 7. I wanted to be Ariel from Little Mermaid and Aurora from Sleeping Beauty so bad.

6) My Grandma and I constantly took trips together to Michigan and we played golf and cards with all her friends. I thought I was the coolest person, being a little kid, getting to hang out with my Grandma and her friends. She was the greatest. 💛

7) Since my Dad is a firefighter we were always at the firehouse. Taking food to the guys, visiting Dad and trying on their gear, sitting in the fire trucks, going to the firehouse so Dad could pull out my tooth, sliding down the fire pole, selling Girl Scout cookies to them. They were so nice to me and my brother, I’ll never forget that.

I worked at an abortion clinic while I was pregnant with my first child. One of the women who was there to have an abortion asked me if it was difficult emotionally to do the work while carrying a child to term. I told her, “My feet hurt, my hips hurt, my joints are so lax I have to be careful not to sprain my ankles walking, I have to pee constantly, and I’m looking forward to eighteen years of putting someone else first in my life. You better believe I want you to have a choice about doing this for yourself.” She broke out in a big, relieved smile. One of my best memories.

—Ellen Eades

On Guard or Owner of your Space?.. for women in multiple roles.

After having a week of Hell.. with fighting battles on the job. A sick child while away, legal matters to address, death of a loved one, Intense meetings and stressful nights.. Mixed comments and Ingenious gestures, and the list goes on. I later arrived at the LAX airport almost weak to my knees.
There was a series of events that took a toll on my body physically. Anyone who has the spirit of discernment knows being around too many people for days on end can excessively drain you. It can happen to anyone honestly. I was under Stress..

I said to myself, I’m not well. My joints were hurting. I could barely bend my arm it hurts so badly.. headache/body aches. No sleep, anxiety, Scalp tingles..swollen gum at the bottom.. and a lump in my neck.. literally.

I arrived to the airport hungry, and made myself eat something because I knew I would pass out on the plane..

I believe my body was reacting to the slight nervous breakdown I had the night before. Even though I made it through with a smile and powerful body was showing different signs.. no complaints.. I just need to slow down and refocus. I know my body.

I told myself..
I’m Going to take it easy and take my time going to the airport. I leave in a few hours.. I will be resting when I get home.

However, when I arrived to my designated gate, there was a woman I took notice of. I began to eat my breakfast, and finished it all. When I looked up, She said “You were hungry weren’t you?” I politely said Yes I am, and laughed to myself.. thinking oh no. I know I didn’t just gulf down the food inappropriately..

She then complimented me on my bag.. I complimented her on her bag also. She took note of my all black casual style and I took note of her effortless beauty. She was an A'lister and I was also. Meaning, we received first pick on the flight.
Now I’m recognizing a pattern. She was a woman of status, and someone who clearly knew her role at all times. It was a confidence that exuded in her dialogue.

I told her I was wrapping up a meeting, and I was exhausted from the week. She understood. But somehow, the conversation shifted.

She told me how I came into her space, however I was so into my food I didn’t notice. I asked her what does she mean? And she said “you have to always be “in” the room.” She adjusted her posture as if she was instructing me.

I remembered at the meeting how a guy told me that I was guarded. They also said that I can make someone intimidated just based on my presence. That is never my intention, however I do recognize that I am guarded. Whatever has transpired in your life exudes and your demeanor. In the world of business, I feel that it is OK to be guarded. And totally professional being friendly. However there is a thin line between flirty and friendly in the workplace. I make a conscious effort to always remain professional with balance. Women get a bad rap so many times when they are successful in the industry.

However, in my personal life I do aspire to be more open. After the encounter with the woman at the airport, I knew that I needed to change some things in my personal walk.

She summed it up saying..
“When you walk into a room, know that it is your room. It doesn’t matter who’s in it. You should be commanding just by your presence. Not flirty, not guarded.. But you must own it.” I recognized that I needed to Open myself up a little to allow others in, but in a way that isn’t inappropriate. Take up space. Look up and around more.

So much of what she said was true because many times I am unaware of my surroundings.

Then I asked myself “Most of the time, do I own the space, or am I guarded?”

Most women in Business have this issue. They are Successful in their professions and maintain a Stance of Leadership & Authority. However, their personal life is Voided in some way. I believe it has much to do with women not knowing how to adjust the stance in their personal life vs. their work life. She also told me to “Marry Up” (I know I will get mixed feelings on this one) She said this statement because she felt it avoids the feeling of “this man is with me because of what I have..” Therefore marrying up eliminates that issue, because you both have your own identity. I began to take mental notes.. Men like to feel needed. No matter what you do for a Man, most won’t be able to genuinely receive it until they have reached a certain point in their own Life. They won’t value it as much. I’ve noticed that when a Man isn’t ready, financially or spiritually, there is nothing a Woman can do. He has to do it. If he says he isn’t ready, accept it and don’t try to rush because you are. It will save you from a future heartache and more damage.

To be continued..

made-of-bees  asked:

I'm not autistic but due to a combination of ptsd, bpd, and ocd I have a lot of autistic-like traits, including stimming, and one of my absolute favorite stims was hand flapping, but I also have a degenerative connective tissue disorder and it's gotten bad enough that flapping hurts because my joints are fucked up and it makes me so sad and nobody I know understands. I'm a happy flapper and one of the purest ways of expressing joy has become PAIN. I'm sorry, I needed to tell someone who gets it.

It’s okay I totally understand one of my favs stims that’s physical is what I call my ‘happy dance’ where I bounce from one foot to another but with my knee problems I can’t do it too much cuz my knee will be in so much pain :(