and-my-joints-hurt

some cosy, chill isak and even situations since i’m having a lot of feelings regarding them 2 being completely wrapped up in chill vibes where them 2 are just doing chill things:

  • sharing earphones and listening to music sat together on the bus or tram, or in their bedroom when they’re watching a movie, or laying in bed awake on a friday night at 2am or on a sunday afternoon at 2pm, just chilling and listening to music together.
  • sharing a big mug of hot chocolate in winter, or an ice cream in summer, or a can of beer, back and forth between them. one sip even, one sip isak.
  • isak nestled in between even’s legs, isak’s back against even’s chest, isak resting the back of his head on even’s shoulder, whilst even runs his fingers through isak’s hair, and isak will sometimes slightly turn his head and kiss even’s neck, whilst they’re both wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa.
  • they’ll sometimes smoke, once in a while, and they’ll continue on their thing of sharing a joint between them. they’ll continue on their thing where isak exhales out smoke all over even’s face, mist and fog and haze, and even’ll laugh in the midst of it.
  • bike rides! loads more bike rides! and loads of isak laughing freely, uncontrollably, clinging on tightly to even’s waist, as even takes them both roaming around the city, unplanned.
  • back rubs. and feet rubs. and shoulder massages. and “my knee joint is hurting from sitting and drawing for so long, isak massage it please?” “come here then grandad.” and “even my head hurts from studying please rub it?” “baby you work too hard come along here”.
  • trips! loads of trips! to science museums because isak insists, and art galleries because even wants to. and cabin trips in winter and seaside trips in summer and cinema and theatre trips.
  • spontaneous strolls! in the parks during spring time when the pink and white blossoms are in full growth and autumn when everything is golden and red and the air is crisp in both seasons, fresh. light. airy. breezy.
  • shopping. grocery or books or clothes and shoes and hoodies and scarves and snapbacks or sketchpads and stationary. and goofing around in stores that have photobooths and “even really please we’re not doing one where we kiss” “oh come on isak, would you really reject another chance to kiss me?”
  • silence. a nice, quiet, peaceful kind of silence. if they’re both doing their homework or they’re sat by the windowsill catching the sunset or just walking, with their hands clasped into one another’s. or whilst they’re cuddling and there’s nothing to say and that’s okay, so they’ll listen to the breeze outside, mixed with the muffled sound of cars going by and birds chirping, signalling that the city’s still alive in the far distance, whilst they both are drowned in the sound of each other’s breathing and heartbeats.
  • more “dancing in the kitchen with the radio playing” situations as they’re both making food. or rather, it’s even making the food and isak simply admiring the view. sometimes, he’ll hug even from the back and rock them both to the tune of the song playing. and just like that, slowly, slowly, isak becomes more languid. he lets his body move to the beat, sometimes sings along too. lets even take his hand and spin him around as they’re both barefoot, dressed in loose tshirts and joggers and messy bedhair. a vision. echoing laughter around the kitchen and soft, silent “i love yous.”
  • speaking of i love yous, even will sometimes tap isak’s shoulder, and isak will turn to face even, raising his eyebrows in question. and even’ll just say, “did i tell you that i love you today? because i love you.” and as always, isak smiles so widely that it hurts, and a beat later, he’ll reply “i love you too, evy.”
  • quick little soft pecks with smiles and laughter in between them that turn into long slow lazy kisses with whispers of promises against ears and skin in between them that turn into warm safe serene 2 hour naps under a shared duvet, legs and limbs all tangled.
How to study with a chronic illness and not kill yourself in the attempt

Originally posted by seriestvquotes

Hello my dear spoonies! It’s been a while since the last time I wrote, I’ve been busy dying and not-dying lately, but I am so much better now! *cries in fetal position*

I have so much to tell you, but today I want to focus on study issues. I have not been to attend college for eight months now because of my illnesses, but tomorrow I’m going to start a new semester. I’m obviously very scared, when you don’t study for so long because you weren’t healthy enought makes you feel worried, you’re afraid of becoming sicker and having to quit again.

But I made a little guide for myself so as to prevent this from happening. I want to share it as it may help someone.

Before I start I want to clarify that I have endometriosis, several spinal problems that make my joints hurt a lot and my gastrointestinal system doesn’t know how to function. Seriously. So what has been useful to me may or may not help you. Some may need more, some may need less. But I will try to make this as general as possible, hopefully something could be useful to you!

Don’t leave home without having breakfast. 

By this I don’t mean that you have to eat three loaves, six eggs and a liter of coffee, eat something that makes you feel safe, eat something that you know your body can tolerate well. Leaving home without eating anything is going to make you have low blood sugar and will lower your blood pressure if you are susceptible to this. If you don’t feel well enough for breakfast, try having healthy snacks during class time.

Make good use of class time.

When you go back to your house you may need to rest a lot. Some will be able to take more advantage of the rest of the day than others, but if you know beforehand that you wont be able to, use your time in class well and don’t get zoned. If the class is slow you can try to advance on the material. Do not forget to keep a good posture while sitting.

Squeeze every second you feel good.

Originally posted by usedpimpa

Rest in the recess.

Some class breaks are longer than others. The important thing is that you use this time to give your body or brain a break. If you need to close your eyes for a while, do it, if you need to stay in the classroom seated, do it. If they don’t let you stay in the classroom, talk to the teachers, don’t be embarrassed to explain your situation.
If you have spinal problems, use this time to get up and walk a little. The vertebral discs get compressed when seated and they rise when we return to stretch. This will avoid back pain and even some joints pain. Keep a good posture while sitting!!

Bring your meds.

If you need to take medicine, take them. If you need your painkillers, take them. It’s not a shame to take pills in front of others, you know your body and what you need, and your health comes first. Don’t think what others will say, you don’t need it and will only generate anxiety. If you are embarrassed that someone might ask, you can literally answer that you don’t want to talk about it, but that your medicines make you feel good. Your health is only your business.

Stay hydrated. 

This speaks for itself. Drink lots of water! Especially if you drink a lot of coffee like me. Oh, and avoid the energy drinks.

Relax when you get home.

You do not have to go back and immediately sit down to study while you choke on lunch/dinner (haha, choke, sorry I’m five). Take a bath, put on comfortable clothes, do your back exercises if you have to, rest for a while in bed and apply hot or cold pads where it hurts if needed. If you’ve been sitting in class for a long time, I seriously recommend to do a little stretch for your back when you get home, it can make a difference (do it or I will kick you ಠ_ಠ).

Originally posted by crayonsandkittens

Study time.

Understand that there are different ways to study and that you have to find the most suitable for you. For example, for some it will be better to take the reading material to bed and read lying down, and this is ok. Always make sure you are comfortable, and if you are sitting keep a good posture ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Use ranges of 20/10 or 40/20 minutes, study, rest. Do not overload yourself, but try to keep up with the class. This will be very useful for when you need to take a day off or during finals. Studying a little every day is going to be a lot healthier for you, and less stressful, than doing it all in a week.

Do not forget that there are many resources, not just books. If you don’t feel well to read or do exercises you can watch educational videos while you rest your body. Read things to understand not to memorize. Use colors to make it easier for you to remember information. If you feel stuck in one chapter, move on to the next or review the previous one. Don’t stress or compare yourself to anyone. If a subject is difficult for you, you aren’t stupid, it’s only a subject that is more difficult to you, as it happens to everyone. It’s okay to ask for help.

Know when to stop.

Originally posted by meusmisteriosospensamentos

This I think is the most important part. Recognize when you feel bad. Take a day off if you’re sick, it’s okay to skip a class. Don’t compete with others or compare yourself, your situation is different. Identify how much you can do, recognize it. Don’t think that your old self could have taken five classes and today you can only take three, two or one. Your past self is in the past. Work with who you are today and move on from there. If you can only take one class today, that’s fine. Time will go on the same, whether you do that subject or not. Don’t give up just because you have to take it slow, feel proud that you are strong enough to be where you are today. 

You are valuable, you are intelligent and you will be a great professional.

┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴ And if you don’t strecht I will hunt you down.

anonymous asked:

Ignore if this is not your type of thing, but deaged rhodey that absolutely adores tony and is not shy about showing it? And has zero shame when he is back to normal bc he does adore tony always and he's not afraid to admit it

I don’t know if this is what you were picturing, but Rhodey is adorably excitable and I love him.


“He won’t stop asking about you. Keep him.” Fury drops the teenager on Tony’s doorstep and storms out of the building. 

“Hi Tony, I missed you. Did you miss me? What have you been doing? They said you still had Dum-E. Where is he? It’s so good to see you.” Rhodey nearly steamrolls over Captain America in order to hug Tony.

“Um, yes I missed you. Stuff. Downstairs in the lab. It’s great to see you too kid.” Tony smiles softly at him. “You want to maybe slow down now, I think you’re confusing Captain America.” Steve nods.

“That’s Captain America?” Rhodey asks, turning to look at him. “Well he is beefy. Eyepatch told me I was a Lieutenant Colonel. I’m a higher rank than Captain America, isn’t that cool?” Tony snorts, Steve looks absolutely shocked and it’s amazing.

“Hell yeah you are, you get real bossy though, always telling me what to do.” Tony teases. “Although the Captain is much worse.” Rhodey just raises an eyebrow.

“Please, the entire army couldn’t tell you what to do, there’s no way you’d listen to either of us.” Rhodey says, side eyeing the captain. “That’s what I love about you Tony, you’re so strong willed. It’s the best.” Natasha snorts a laugh at she sheer panic on Tony’s face.

“Rhodey-” Tony is not choked up, Clint is a dirty liar id he says that Tony got choked up.

“Why are you laughing?” Rhodey asks. “Who are you? It’s not funny, Tony is just the best.” He’s trying to scold the black widow in defense of Tony. Tony might die.

“I’m laughing because you hate it when he doesn’t listen to you.” She says, sipping her coffee. 

“Well yeah, but it’s still the best. Can we go play with Dum-E? I want to teach him how to play fetch!” Rhodey says, bouncing on his heels.

“I knew that was you! You denied it, but I knew!” Tony says, Rhodey just beams at him. “You sneaky adorable son of a bitch.” 

“Wait, you’re not going to introduce us to the mini  Iron Patriot?” Clint asks, Rhodey’s nose wrinkles at the name.

“Iron Patriot? Really? That’s lame. I know you can do better than that Tones.” Rhodey says, clinging to Tony’s side. 

“I can, and I did. Not my fault the US government wasn’t a fan of War Machine.” He grumbles. Rhodey beams at him.

“You’re the best at naming things Tony.” Rhodey says, starry eyed.

“He named a robot Dum-E.” Clint mumbles. “And the other one’s name is literally just the letter U. What reality does Rhodes live in?”

“The true reality, where Tony Stark is the best.” Rhodey informs him, glaring at the man. Clint holds up his hands in surrender.

“Aw, Rhodey I love you.” Tony says, pressing a kiss to the kids cheek. “The best friend.” Rhodey’s hand goes up to his cheek, and suddenly he’s aging in front of their eyes.

“True loves kiss.” Clint cackles. “Aw Stark, you love him.” Tony nods, an arm around Rhodey’s waist to support him as he gets his bearings back.

“Hey Honeybear, how you feeling?” Tony asks, Rhodey glances down at his body doing a quick visual check.

“Well, my joints hurt. But mostly good right now.” He offers a week thumbs up. Clint starts laughing.

“Dude, your crush on Tony was so strong, oh my god. You said he was the best at naming things.” Clint is cracking up. Rhodey just smiles at Tony.

“Tony is the best. Little me knows where it’s at.” Rhodey decides, making Tony blush. “Did you miss me?” 

“Always Rhodes.” Tony replies, it would be an incredibly warm and romantic moment if Clint wasn’t still laughing in the background. “Now, what’s this about teaching Dum-E how to play fetch. 20 years and you finally admit guilt.” 

“No! I said I wanted to teach him. You got drunk and beat me to it though!” Rhodey says, Tony squints suspiciously at him. “You did.” 

“I don’t believe you.” Tony says.

“But you can’t prove me wrong, now are we going to go play fetch with a robot or not?” Rhodey teases, they keep bantering as the get into the elevator.

“Do they realize they’re co-parenting? Steve, do they have any idea how married they are? Nat, I don’t think they know, this is awful.” Clint laments, Natasha shoves an apple in his mouth. 

“They’re cute shut up.”  

I did not want to join yoga class. I hated those soft-spoken, beatific instructors. I worried that the people in the class could fold up like origami and I’d fold up like a bread stick. I understood the need for stretchy clothes but not for total anatomical disclosure. But my hip joints hurt and so did my shoulders, and my upper back hurt even more than my lower back and my brain would. not. shut. up. I asked my doctor about medication and he said he didn’t like the side effects and was pretty sure I wouldn’t, either.

So I signed up for Gentle Mind and Body Yoga, the pre-K of yoga classes. I think the principle is that you get into some pose that has cosmic implications and then hold the pose until you are enlightened or bored silly. I like the bridge pose, where you lie flat on your back and put a rubber block under your butt. I purely hate the eagle pose, where you wind your arms around each other and then wrap your legs around each other and stand on one foot; I drop like a sprayed mosquito.

The teacher is forgiving: “Yogi’s choice,” she says, meaning that I’m now a yogi and I can do what I want. She says we’re not trying to get anywhere, and I deeply appreciate not trying to get anywhere.

A Skeptic Fact-Checks Yoga’s Health Claims And Goes With The Om

Illustration: Jenn Liv for NPR

How to: Write a disabled character.

(written by a real life disabled person)

I’ve been RPing for a few years now in various fandoms, and there’s one thing that seems to just continually happen in the RP community that I’ve never seen addressed.

Ableism!

Not in the “lol disabled people succ” way, but in the “I’m going to make my character mute! But I’m going to stress that everyone around them can easily read their lips even though lip-reading is a complicated skill you have to learn but let’s just omit that because I don’t want to actually RP a mute character.” way. That way. That very very common way.

If you want to make an OC that’s disabled, that’s fantastic. But you have to realize something: If you do not have that disability yourself, you are going to have to do some research on it, and by the Nine you are actually going to have to try. This is non-negotiable if you want to seem at all credible in your RP. I don’t care if you think you know that blind people can’t see (which is somewhat false; there are varying levels of legal blindness and not all blind people experience a complete lack of vision aka; just black), you should check up on it to make damn sure, because disability is almost never as black and white as it seems.

And beyond your own research into whichever disability your OC is going to have, you also need to keep some things in mind.

  • Most disabilities cause some sort of hindrance to a person’s life, and a lot of the time it’s a big part of their life. Even with modern accessibility (which isn’t available in many fantasy/RPG/medieval settings), the vast majority of disabled people still experience daily hassles they have to deal with because of their disability.
  • It takes a toll on people. Ever hear of a spoonie? It’s a term used by people with varying levels of chronic pain, fatigue, and disabilities that cause them. Some disabilities might have symptoms that aren’t widely-known (phantom pains for amputees is a great example) and need to be researched in order to be properly implemented. If your character suffers from chronic pain in their leg, walking long distances is going to be painful and difficult, and may not even be possible.
  • It’s EXPENSIVE. Medication, accessibility, mobility aids, and other methods of support cost money. Not all disabled people are covered either (and even to get covered is a whole hassle in itself), and have to pay out of pocket. In Canada, even on the disability benefits program pretty much nothing is 100% covered and you end up paying out of pocket even for essential services.
  • Sometimes you can’t work. Disability exists on a HUGE spectrum. Two people can have the same condition and experience it vastly different. Person A can have a relatively good time with it, minimal pain and annoyance, where person B has a difficult time performing even household tasks because of the pain, loss of mobility, or other symptoms. A lot of disabled people have trouble working, and being consistent with their jobs (For example; sometimes I can’t go to work because my joints hurt too much for me to be able to walk. This costs me money and strains my relationship with my employer). It’s very nice and dandy to assume all employers are great people who want to go the distance for their prospective disabled employees, but that’s just not the norm.
  • Sometimes you can work! Accessibility exists in the workplace and can be done, but for a lot of disabled people it HAS to be done. And not all employers (especially if we’re living in a medieval-like era) are willing to provide them. Sometimes it takes a fight. Sometimes it takes a lot of searching. It’s really hard for a lot of obviously disabled people to find work.
  • Independence isn’t guaranteed. If your disability is a physical one, it can limit your mobility. A blind person will have an incredibly difficult time navigating somewhere they’ve never been. Someone with joint issues is going to have a lot of trouble walking places and might need a ride of some sort. Even going out to get groceries can be almost impossible for some people to do without help.
  • Independence is possible though! And a lot of the time it takes accessibility aids, or other extra things done in order to provide adequate independence for yourself.

This is a DROP IN THE BUCKET. Seriously, please believe me when I say that disability is something that directly and heavily impacts your life, but also exists on such a broad spectrum that there is no definitive “how to” guide to writing a disabled character. You have to just use common sense, and research out all the information you need to know in order to write it. I have no way of speaking for every disabled person in the world because I don’t know about every disability in the world. Neither does anyone.

If you’re choosing to RP a disabled character because it makes them seem interesting, or because it makes them unique, stop yourself and ask these questions:

  1. Are you going to consistently portray them as they are? Or are you going to omit symptoms when it’s convenient for you to? Are these symptoms mere accessories to their character and only show up when it’s dramatic/funny/sad/etc?
  2. Are you willing to actually research the disability your OC has in order to properly RP it? Are you willing to go beyond the very brief & simple description that google gives you?
  3. Are you going to great lengths to implement things that erase most or all symptoms of said disability? Is that actually viable in the verse you’re writing in or are you jumping through hoops to avoid inconvenience?

Again, there is no definitive one-size-fits-all guide to writing disabled characters, but seriously. Let me just tell you, as a disabled woman who’s been in a lot of disabled circles for her entire life, we know when you’re doing it for attention. We know when you have no idea what you’re doing. It’s annoying, transparent, and shreds your credibility. PLEASE take the time to research whatever disability you’ve chosen, and put the effort into portraying it well. There’s no point in putting such a huge life-impacting thing into your OC’s profile without actually thinking about it.

Innocent

Genre: Angst

Pair: Yoongi x Reader

Word Count: 1905

Summary: In which Yoongi gets drunk and asks for you.


Originally posted by talk-me-down-troye

It had been two months since I last saw him. Two months since he broke up with me under the pretense that I was too innocent and he, for some reason, would only ruin my life if he stayed with me. It had hurt. I had cried. I had questioned and wondered why he had even bothered to initiate the relationship if this was the outcome. I wondered if every pretty thing he said to me was a lie and if he ever even cared for me at all. I drank too much. I went out when I shouldn’t have. I let my life get out of control.

But then, one day, it stopped.

The pain disappeared; he didn’t frequent my thoughts. I could go a whole day without thinking about him or wondering what he was doing and if he missed me. I had stopped missing him. Life moved on. I was happy.

Then in the middle of my night shift at the book store, I had gotten a text.

It was from his best friend and the message, at first, made my entire body go numb.

He’s been drunk for hours; we can’t get him off the floor. He keeps asking for you

I debated responding, wondering if I was only hurting myself if I decided to go. But the second text made up my mind for me.

Please. He’s been a mess for months. He needs to see you.

The easier task was figuring out where he was. Outside his favorite bar not too far from where I worked. Getting myself out of my work’s parking lot was the harder task. My hands gripped the steering wheel until my joints hurt; my engine running but my foot firmly placed on the floor of my car. I hadn’t cried yet but my heart jackhammered inside my chest. I felt like I was going to be sick.

Fifteen minutes later I found myself on the familiar road leading up to the bar. The parking lot was almost empty even though it was only 11 at night and I found the three bodies huddled together over a lump on the floor almost as soon as I pulled in. At some point he had probably been resting against his friends’ car but now it seemed he just wanted to lie down.

I pulled up into the spot next to them and killed my engine still wondering if what I was doing was the right thing. I knew it wasn’t going to work out well for me no matter how the night turned out. He was drunk, I no doubt would cry, and nothing would really get resolved.

Still, I got out of my car.

His friends greeted me with troubled expressions as I slowly walked up to their group but I couldn’t even look at them when I saw him. He was a ruined mess, drunkenly passed out on the gravel of the parking lot. It was a pathetic sight but it still hurt to see him so destroyed.

“How long has he been like this?” I managed to ask.

The eldest of their group scratched his head. “He’s been drunk all day but he passed out about ten minutes ago. The bar called us to come get him and we made it this far but then he just…gave up.”

I listened to his words while watching the face of the man who broke my heart. If I was vengeful, I would laugh and walk away while wishing his friends luck. If I was petty, I may even give my unconscious ex a slap. But my heart still stuttered for him. I wasn’t over it yet.

Slowly, I crouched down next to his still body and gently ran my hand through his dark hair. He had recently dyed it black, its natural color, and it was so soft. I remembered the nights I spent running my hands through it as he slept. He said it was his favorite thing. Even now as an unconscious, drunken mess, he still quietly moaned at the sensation and ever so slightly pushed his head closer to my hand.

“Yoongi,” I whispered into his ear. He shifted a little, more groans escaping his lips as he slowly came back to consciousness. “Yoongi I need you to get up.”

“Is this a joke?” he croaked, his words slurring a bit.

I cocked my head to one side. “Is what a joke?”

“You’re not really here.” He kept his eyes firmly closed.

My hands continued to run through his hair. “I’m here, Yoongi. I need you to open your eyes.”

“Why would you be here?” he went on.

“You called for me, remember?” I tugged at the ends of his hair a little hoping that maybe some pain would cause him to grow alert.

It didn’t work. He swatted my hand away and curled further onto his side. I spared a glance to his friends and shook my head at a loss for how to get him up. Namjoon crouched down next to me and smacked his shoulder.

“Hey, we got her here because you wouldn’t shut up about it. Now she’s here and you’re ignoring her!” he raised his voice in mock anger. He was worried for his friend. I was worried, too.

“Liar!” Yoongi screamed as he shot up from his position almost knocking me and Namjoon off our feet. He glared at his friend, or tried to with droopy lids. “She wouldn’t come see me even if I was dead.”

He fell back against the car, his shoulders slumped in defeat. He either hadn’t seen me yet or assumed I was some hallucination from the alcohol because he didn’t acknowledge my presence at all. Namjoon noticed this too and anxiously looked towards me. I looked back, scared to speak. Did I want his attention? Did I want him to realize I was real? Did I have a choice?

“Stop being so dramatic,” I spoke up, “I’d at least come for the free food.”

At the sound of my voice, Yoongi’s eyes flicked towards me but the reaction died there. How drunk was he?

“Why are you haunting me?”

I was stunned by his denial.

“Yoongi, I’m right here,” I softened my voice and ran my hand through his hair again allowing it to rest at the nape of his neck, “I’m right here and I’m real. I’m not a ghost.”

“Why?” he groaned, closing his eyes again. “Why would you come after what I did to you?”

I sighed, removing my hand from his neck and rested it on my knee. It felt cold no longer touching him. “You asked for me, so I came.”

His head looped forward until it rested against his chest that rose and fell with slow, shallow breaths. It appeared as if he had fallen asleep again and I almost reached for him again when he spoke. “You’re too good for me. You don’t deserve this.”

“I’m not arguing with you there,” I replied, “but you’re drunk and passed out in a very dirty parking lot so I’m here to get you home.”

“Just leave me here. I’ll sober up eventually,” he protested.

I stifled the urge to violently roll my eyes. He was so dramatic sometimes.  

“Not taking the chance,” I huffed and rose to my feet. He watched me with eyes more alert than they were before. He was listening now. “Get up, get in the car, and I’ll take you home. Or you can sleep here and I’ll leave.”

I extended my hand and watched Yoongi wage the proposition over in his head as he stared at me. For a second it seemed like he wasn’t going to take it, but then his cool, slick fingers laced around my wrist and I hauled him to his feet. He was a bit unbalanced but refused any help from his friends. A small smile pressed into my lips as I spun on my heel and walked to my car.

Popping open the car door, I turned back to the boys and gave them a small nod. Namjoon mouthed his thanks as he trailed behind Yoongi to make sure he didn’t fall again but his steps were steadier than they probably were earlier. He managed to make it into my low car by himself and strapped himself in with no one’s help, not even mine. I stepped in and closed the door, revving the engine to life before waving a goodbye to the boys.

The drive to his apartment was quiet. He didn’t say anything, probably was trying hard not to breathe, and I spared him no words. I wanted to scream at him, wanted to punch him, wanted to desperately ask why he wanted me when he so carelessly threw me away in the first place. I wanted to blame him, to curse him, to send him straight to hell. But I bit my tongue because I knew nothing would come of it. Two months of nothing but desperately wanting answers showed me that no answers would ever come. At least not the ones I wanted. So what was the point?

We pulled up to his apartment twenty minutes later and I parked the car but didn’t turn off the engine. Yoongi was sober enough now to realize where we were but he didn’t make an effort to get out of the car or unbuckle his seat belt. I sat still waiting for him to leave.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t worry about it. You were drunk and they needed my help,” I responded.

He shook his head, “Not about tonight.”

I knew what he meant but I didn’t, couldn’t, hear him say it. If he apologized now, it would be over. Months of thinking about this moment did not prepare me for the inevitability of it and when it ended then what would I do?

All I said was “you’re home now.”

He still didn’t move.

“I wanted to make sure you were ok.” His confession didn’t shock me but it did sting. Now he cared.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I harshly asked.

He sighed and lowered his head into his hands, “I didn’t want to ruin you. I pushed you away so I wouldn’t ruin you. I’m fucked up and you’re so—“

“Don’t,” I cut him off, “Don’t you dare say it.” He looked up in surprise but the floodgates had opened and I couldn’t stop myself. “That word has haunted me for months. Months, Yoongi. Everything I did, all the things I loved, even the way I dressed reminded me of that damn word. That damn excuse. You wanted out, but you were too much of a coward to admit it, so you made yourself a villain and put me on a fucking pedestal. Untouchable. You have no idea what that did to me.”  

“I’m so—“

“I don’t care,” I snapped, the anger bubbling to the surface. “You didn’t ruin me, Yoongi, you aren’t powerful enough. But don’t ever call me that again.”

He sat in stunned silence, or drunken confusion, and all I wanted was to be rid of him. I was done. I wanted this chapter of my life closed. I unlocked the door. “Get out.”

For once in his life, he listened to me.

youtube

Just woke up and feel so refreshed. My joints hurt a little but I feel much better now that my Food Poisoning this is done.

Whenever I feel sick I marathon some youtuber. This time it was Continue

I tried to get out of my art block and all I managed to doodle was this and its crap because my joints/wrist was hurting/shaking too badly.

Fuck my body,fuck my joints , fuck my crappy health. I try hard to practice and I can’t anymore. I’m soon totally drained and my wrists ain’t cooperating anymore. How am I supposed to work in these conditions….

healthy artists are freaking lucky….

I'm sick ( Reader X Jughead )

Reader X Jughead

Request: yes

Warning: topic about a disease

A/N: TO ANYONE SUFFERING WITH ANYTHING! You will be strong okay, YOU WILL FIGHT AND ILL BE HERE IF YOU NEED ANYTHING! I’m sorry if anyone suffering with The disease that’s in the story and I didn’t describe it as it is. Because no one will know how to describe such a terrible thing unless it’s the person going through it. Once again to anyone going through any problems , illness or disease. I’m here for you at any time ♥️♥️
Once again I’m sorry for any mistakes.♥️
—-


Sunday was yet another normal day, everything was going great.. Well that’s till I started noticing a small circular rash around the area of my left rib. I didn’t think much about it, just thought it was an allergic reaction or something, I added a rash cream and went on with my day to see My best friend Jughead at Pop’s.

When I had arrived at pop’s and sat down with Jughead everything was pretty much normal.
When I say normal, I mean it’s quite.
Jughead and I sit at our spot and order our milkshakes and drink them away

“( Y/N/N), what do you say we go enjoy the river and swim?”

I of course agree because it’s summer and basically we’re the only ones left from our group that didn’t take a road trip with our families.
Right after our milkshakes Jughead and I agreed to meet at the river in about an hour, that way we get the stuff we need and I make some sandwiches for lunch. When I arrived home, I removed my clothing and was just about to grab my two-piece swimsuit but remembered the red spot that was visible. Changing my mind I wore my one piece bathing suit and dressed in a shirt and shorts , and quickly headed down to make the sandwiches.

Once I was done with everything I grabbed my bag with food, extra outfits, towels and sunscreen and i ran out the door like I was sonic the hedgehog. When I arrived to the river I noticed Jughead just arriving too, thank God.
“Juggie, why on earth don’t you have a bag with your extra outfit and why do you still have your beanie crown still on, you’re going to get it wet!”

“(Y/N/N) please I know you well enough knowing you’ll bring me a towel and extra outfits that I leave in your room, besides this crown reminds me that I’m king.” Jughead smiles at me knowing that I didn’t exactly just that.

“ you know Juggie what if I didn’t bring anything, what would you do?”

“(Y/N) I know you, you’re just so caring. Any guy would be lucky to have you… and when I say any I mean ANY, including me.”

After those words i could feel my cheeks turning pink because God knows how much I have a crush on Jughead. Anyway I ignore his comment and walk to the side of the river and lay down the towel and basket, remove my outfit and get inside warm water of the river.

“JUGHEAD JONES HURRY UP AND GET IN THE WATER!” I shout from the top of my lungs because jughead looked like he was dreaming for a second.
After my call jughead walks into the water and slowly swims towards where I am, during that Process He slowly starts to lower himself into the water until only his nose and eyes are the only things showing. I start to swim away because I don’t even know what he’s about to do, but before I can completely get away Jughead pulls my hand toward him and I’m now stuck with both of his arms around me.

“Juggie, don’t you dare push me down!” I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips because if he plans on taking me down, he’s going down with me.

What I didn’t think or expect was that Jughead would end up gripping my waist and pulls me closer towards him till our chests are basically touching.

“ I actually like this position, for once you’re actually relying on me.”

“Juggie, I’m only holding on to you because if I die you’re dying with me… I’m not gonna let you be the Cheryl Blossom here while I’m Jason .” I joke with him

“ Look at you using sardonic humor on me.”

“ What can I say, I’ve learned from the best… Yup I knew I was a great teacher for myself.” I laugh at my own joke but notice Jughead is just looking at me. Before I can speak and ask what’s wrong, Jughead’s lips crash onto mine and I automatically kiss him back because once again I HAVE A FUCKING CRUSH ON HIM!

We kiss for a couple of seconds more until we both pull away with the sound of a ‘Pop’. Due to Jughead and I being one of the most awkward people on earth, we shy away and swim back to shore and act as if nothing just happened. By the time it’s time to leave we both have changed and picked up our things, Jughead offers to walk me home because in his words “ no one has found the killer yet so it’s safer if I walk you home.”

Once we reached my house, still I feel all fuzzy but don’t mention anything. Jughead on the other hand thought differently.

“(Y/N), I was wondering… umm I’ve been meaning to ask you out but wasn’t sure if you liked me, but after that kiss which you kissed me back. I was umm wondering if I could, i don’t know take you out on a date? I mean if you don’t want too it’s okay, but I would like it if you would.” Jughead jumbles his words as he asks me out.

“Jughead I would love to go out with you, how about Tuesday?”

He quickly nods without any hesitation. I smile and kiss his cheek and wish him a safe walk back home. I close my door and hear a small “Yes” from the other side. With a smile on my face I walk to my bathroom, shower and get ready for bed.

It’s currently Monday but I’m not feeling well, actually I’m feeling terrible. I noticed the small spot by my rib area has doubled in size and my muscles are aching me. I tell myself it was probably from the swimming yesterday and that this red spot is just an allergic reaction to something. I go on with my day and talk to Jughead on the phone for hours and don’t mention anything to him regarding my pain… it’s 7 p.m. and it’s time for me to eat with my family.

“ Mom, my joints are hurting me and I have this weird red spot by my rib area.” I inform my mom after dinner. She tells me to show her the spot and when she saw it she said it was probably an allergy or a mosquito bite. After my mother’s clarification I walk to bed and once again think that another day passed and all I can hope for is that tomorrow the pain leaves and I’ll be able to enjoy my date with Jughead.

It’s officially Tuesday the day which I’ll have my date with Jughead. My joints still hurt me and my spot is still the same size, which I think is good considering it didn’t get bigger. It’s only 3 in the afternoon but I know I have a lot of getting ready.
When I’m done with everything for my date I notice that it’s 6 and that Jughead will be arriving to walk us to the one and only Pop’s. Just as I thought of that the doorbell rings indicating he’s here. I skip to get my purse but I end up feeling a great ache on my knee joint, I hiss a bit but walk it off and walk down to greet Jughead.

When i reach down the stairs and open the door, I notice Jughead standing there with his usual S shirt but layered with a blazer and his little crown.
“You look beautiful (Y/N).”

I blush and close the door behind me.
“ you don’t look so bad yourself Jones the third.”

After the date, Jughead asked me to be his Girlfriend and obviously I had to have fun with this moment

“ I don’t know Juggie, I’ve always wanted a crown and I’ve always like your crown.”

“Well you can’t have mine, this is my beanie crown , only the king wears this one. The queen must wear something else. ”

“Well then Jughead, this just won’t workout I should have let you drown in the river.”

Jughead quickly removes his beanie and puts it on my head. I laugh and nod my head agreeing to be his girlfriend. To say that was my best night in my life is an understandable.


Two days have past since I’ve agreed to be Jughead’s girlfriend.. two days have passed since I was admitted into the hospital. After Jughead dropped me off home, my body and head were in so much pain that I had completely fainted. My parents walked in finding me passed out on the floor which is when I was sent to the hospital. The red spot has spread around my body and my joints are practically as hard as a rock. After countless of tests and checkups The doctor has diagnosed me with Lyme Disease,the doctor told me that living life would be a bit difficult from now on. He said I would have the good days when everything is fine and the bad days when I would be in this room with medication.

After the fourth day of me being in the hospital and countless of lies to Jughead I guess he had to take matters into his own hands and look for me.

“(Y/N) why didn’t you tell me?”

I stay quite and play with my hands.
“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) I said why didn’t you tell me? Why did you lie to me? How long has this been going on?” He raises his voice and walks closer to me.

“ Because Jughead, what do you want me to tell you? ‘ oh hey Jughead I’m sick and I’m in pain,anyway; how’s your day?’ I didn’t want to worry you okay! It started the day we went to the river, I didn’t think it was anything but the day after I started to feel pain. After our date I just fainted and I’ve been here ever since..” I try to keep my eyes away from him.

“(Y/N) you were exactly supposed to tell me you’re here! I’m your best friend and boyfriend! I should be helping you, just like the way you helped me during my bad times when I had no one, back to the times I would hate myself because I never fit in and back to the times I felt unloved by my own family! Now it’s my turn to be there for you.” He walks over to my resting bed and grabs my hands.

“ Jughead you don’t understand! this isn’t like any of your situations, this will go on for God knows how long! There will be times when I’ll be perfectly fine and the next when I’ll be in the room attached to all these needles unable to move a bone in my body! I’m sick, and I’m not going to get any better any time soon.”

“(Y/N/N) and that’s why I’m going to be there the whole way! The whole way till you recover, the whole way till you smile and the whole way till I know that you won’t need me anymore

anonymous asked:

Hiiii love so I'm going on a 10 hour car ride tomorrow and I was wondering if you could rec me some fics to keep me distracted and entertained?? I hate car rides, I get car sick and cramp easily, my joints hurt ughhhh I just hate it so much so this would be such a great relief 😭 I love historical/royal aus and kid fics!!! (And any potter aus????) thank u I love u pray for me

ohhh i got some goodies for you! so i’ll give you a bunch of lists that you can browse, but i’ll also share my favorite fics from each of the lists so if you’re indecisive about your options you can see what I recommend! 

unique aus sure to keep you distracted and entertained // historical fics // my favorite royalty fics // some single parent kid fics

and a  favorite fic from each (i have multiple favorites so picking one is really hard and is just dependent on my mood right now haha):

hope these help you out love xx enjoy! come back and let me know if i did good 

I used to

Believe in HAES and fat acceptance a lot 30lbs ago. I’m glad I stopped or I would be bigger than I was/am. I can’t believe I used to think weighing 200lbs was ok. I still believe I should love my body no matter what. But to me loving my body is also taking care of it by not carrying extra weigh that hurts my joints. And by eat healthy to have energy. And working out to help keep me going.

Originally posted by clarinsuk

People should know that disabilities and chronic illnesses fluctuate and they should know that for some they fluctuate a lot.

Like yesterday I wrote an exam, then sat in a noisy, crowded restaurant for two hours (and talked all that time), then walked more than ten thousand steps, came back home and wasn’t even that tired.

Today I’ve been awake for less than five hours and I have already subluxed my wrist trying to open a door, subluxed my hip twice and fell down in an armchair because of dizziness from trying to get from one room to another. My joints hurt, I can’t concentrate, can’t do anything really, and all I did in five hours was wash my hair and revise botanics for twenty minutes.

And tomorrow I might be anywhere between these two extremes and I can’t control it or predict it.

So yeah, if you see me do something one day, that doesn’t mean I will be able to do it tomorrow/next week/whatever. And if I say “I can’t do this” today, doesn’t mean I won’t be able to do it tomorrow or next week. And it’s also true for a lot of other disabled and/or chronically ill people.

Instagram @annifaras: Please watch, this is CHAMPLIN PARK HIGH SCHOOL. THIS is what white people do, you would never think being as SMALL as I am, and a FEMALE. I would be MANHANDLED by a police officer & all she wanted me to do was leave which was what I was doing!!! Until this man grabbed me and put me in this room with others blocking the door so no one could see what was going on. I told him he was grabbing me WAY to tight and he responded with “what’re you twelve? Come on” As I tried to call my mother she tried to snatch my phone, I opened my camera from the lock screen and recorded what was going on and she was unaware. According to my mother, I was Manhandled like this because apparently they haven’t seen my face before and assumed I was an intruder (since someone random came into the building two days ago and fought someone) I recently got out of the hospital for having Mono, my joints and muscles hurt and this man squeeze the shit out of me, when I told him I had joint pain he laughed and acted like he wasn’t harming me. I’m not posting this for anyone’s sympathy I’m posting this to let you know even if you’re a FEMALE they do NOT see that, when they look at us they don’t see PEOPLE. You may think your child going to school safe, but this is living proof that no matter what gender you claim at the end of the day you’re black, in their eyes you’re NOT SHIT. My voice wasn’t heard today, and unfortunately I’m currently the only pro-black one in my house, so my mother just ate their lies, disregarded my pain and yelled at me for asking them not to touch me. I’m suspended for 5 days AFTER being man handled, I am only 108 pounds, and was manhandled by a police officer named Andrew Dickinson. This is proof that a pretty , dainty girl like me can be handled like this. stay alert. Repost if you can, make my voice heard!!!!! CHAMPLIN PARK HIGH SCHOOL MIND YOU THERE WERE STILL OTHER STUDENTS IN THE BUILDING !! @ebahotty AND HER MOTHER WERE TRYING TO SEE WHAT THEY WERE DOING TO ME AND THERE WERE TEACHERS BLOCKING THE VIEW.

(I’ll post pt 2 in one min.)

Please BOOST!!!! @moisemorancy @onlyblackgirl @kimreesesdaughter @open-plan-infinity @dynastylnoire @demho3zhatinq @sapphiredoves

2

digital doobles i forgot to upload @@ i think i need to take a short break from digital again, my joints hurt and the way i draw on my tablet makes small, tight movements that arent good for me == 

I am done hiding. This is me right now. Raw and unedited. No underwear or high waist leggings tucking me in. No extra tight top squeezing every bit of me. Just me and what I let myself get to.

And I have had enough. I just had a long conversation with my mum about my grandmother. See my grandmother is obese. Morbidly obese. Always has been and probably always will be. I have always seen her drag herself everywhere and thought that was just being old and being a grandma. The 20+ daily pills. The diabetes, osteoporosis, high blood pressure, arrhythmia, colitis and heart attacks. Old age. All while watching her eat herself to death.

She is now 72 and has given up on life. The doctors keep telling her that she needs to lose weight, that she can get WLS in order to get knee surgery for her osteoporosis. Her weight is literally crushing her bones. And she still refuses to do anything. She still choses to blame other people and everything else but her for what is happeningm.

And then I look at me. And at how everyone tells me that I look like her when she was in her 20s. But at this pace I will look like her in her 50s and 60s. And I don’t want that.

I don’t want a life of pain and of always feeling like there could be more. Should be more.

I keep preventing myself from having experiences. From living life. And why? Because of food? Why am I allowing that temporary pleasure to keep me captive for my whole adult life? Why am I allowing a few minutes of pleasure to prevent me from having a lifetime of health?

And before you tell me: yes I am beautiful. And yes I love myself. But I don’t feel it when I get winded going up the stairs at work. Or when my clothes dig into me and cut my skin. Or when my joints start to hurt. I don’t feel beautiful when I want to jump into my boyfriend’s lap and smother him with kisses but I stop and think I might hurt him. I don’t feel it when someone takes a photo of me and you can hardly see my eyes because they are being hidden by my cheeks.

This ends now. Not in the New Year or next Monday or at the start of the month. NOW. I am in this for the long haul and I have no time to lose.