and-last

9

Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.

im really mad at how mark will word something in an ambiguous way, so when he replies “tonight?” on my art about not resting until he eats the fucking pizza, it can either mean

“how about tonight?”

or

“maybe tonight”

or even

“time is a human construct and there is no tonight. maybe i mean tonight on some distant planet we havent seen yet maybe i mean tonight in dog years maybe im gonna go bone a fuckin star”

part 1

“Remus!” Sirius threw himself into his arms. Remus gratefully wrapped his arms around him, embracing his lover in a hug to make up for all the ones he had missed in their two weeks apart. But Sirius broke away too quickly. “Fuck you.” He said. His eyes were bloodshot and angry. Remus was taken aback.
“What? Siriu-“
“Fuck you!” Sirius whipped out his wand, though he didn’t exactly know what he intended to do with it.
Remus raised his hands in surrender. “Si- Padfoot, you’re drunk,” he attempted to grab Sirius’ wrist but he pulled away sharply. “Let’s not do anything rash-“
“Rash? You’re talking to me about rash?!” Sirius’ voice was beginning to raise and Remus’ heart rate began to climb. Sirius could be uncontrollable when he got angry. “Leaving me here! For weeks on end! God knows what you’re up to, having shitloads of fun I suppose, considering how fucking long you stay away from me-“
“Sirius, don’t-“
“No! Let me speak!” Sirius gestured wildly with his wand and a few red sparks erupted from the end. “You have no idea how hard this is! Stuck in my parents house, when I left here at fifteen I thought I’d never return, I hoped I’d never return, and here I am, and I don’t even have my boyfriend for company?” Tears were welling up in Remus’ eyes and the image of Sirius was becoming blurred. He thought this must be a good thing, because he couldn’t bear to watch Sirius look at him with such contempt. “I’m locked up here, literally, for ages, no word from you, not even an owl sent with a fucking bar of chocolate so I know you’re okay and not dead or captured or being tortured!” He said all of this very fast, and it took Remus a moment to process it all. Sirius seemed to break. He collapsed on the bed and a dry sob erupted from his chest as he buried his head in his hands. Remus was beside him in an instant, cradling Sirius as he knew he should have been doing every night he undoubtedly woke up in the night from horrible dreams in this godforsaken house.
“I’m so sorry,” Remus’ tears were falling into Sirius’ hair as he clutched him as close as he possibly could.
“It’s just - so - h-hard…” Sirius’ breath caught in his throat as his chest shook with another sob.
“Shhh, I’m here, it’s okay,” Remus didn’t know whether he was comforting Sirius or himself more.
“I hate it here, Moons.” Sirius said quietly, then punching the bed with a shout and sending more sparks out of his wand.
“I know. I’m so sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry.” Remus didn’t know what else to say. He knew Sirius must resent him for it. “You should go to sleep, let’s sleep off that firewhiskey, okay? You’ll feel better in the morning.”
“Will you even still be here in the morning?” Sirius’ words were harsh and biting with dark humor.
Remus bit back a sob but he couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. He suddenly felt as if he was too close to Sirius. He pulled away sharply and they sat a few feet apart, on the bed in silence. Everything in the room was a sick reminder of everything Sirius had tried to escape, and all the things Remus had inadvertently subjected him to. Remus hated himself for it. Nothing was more important than this. The empty bottles and candy wrappers on the floor sent pangs if guilt through the werewolf’s heart.

3

Une balle, un mort.