hey! i wanna say thank you to tall the people that supported me last December and helped me pay for classes! it was so hard to get through the past couple of months but thanks to all of you im one semester farther than i was before! and when i was studying and stuff i was like i honestly can’t fail these tests or these classes bc this is not just my money this is all of my wonderful followers who helped me even sit in this class so thank you! every penny of the donations was used for school and books and i appreciate it sooo much and it feels so good to be back on my feet and its great to have people like you following me and supporting me 


im legit always in my feelings i’ll be in class. everyones taking notes. im just sitting there like “we’re all going to die someday. im just a small spec in the infinite spectrum that is humanity. time isn’t real. do i have a deep sense of self hatred because of my lack of a strong male figure in my life?”

im sitting in multimedia class w/ my friend and we’re the only ones in the computer lab so i started doing this elaborate air drum to novocaine by fob and my friend just turns to me and she’s like ‘bruh are you listening to novocaine too?’ and i waS JUST LIKE 'HELL FUCKIN YEAH I AM’

the best fuckin feeling is when your friends actually listen to and enjoy your music recs

ive been feeling really empty and weird lately, like whenever i sit in class i dont feel real anymore, i forget i exist. i feel incredibly disconnected and everything is getting so stressful and i just really need a break from life. i want to go into hibernation. i wish i had a turn off button. i hate being a depressing piece of shit bc nobody wants to be around someone thats just sad but like i dont even know what im living for anymore???

I am 99% getting hired at a starbucks like 10 minutes away from my planned on future apartment this Wednesday.

Which will give me job #3 for the summer and Im really happy about it because it’ll make working in the mornings-then class-then afternoon nannying flow really smoothly and I’ll still get to have my evenings free for hanging out and doing things (and sleeping lol I guess)

I am a-👌 right now as long as I’m moving and doing and creating or connecting with people but i don’t like sitting still too long because I still don’t feel like I’m happy with where I’m sitting. I’m not ready to rest in the place I’m in or the person I am yet even if I am proud of both those things. Idk

I feel unsettled and kind of antsy? I used to feel scared a lot more and I still nervous about certain things but mostly I feel beyond beyond ready to do new things and be new things idk I am happy with where this year is going and excited for it tbh

Also i seem to be making good friends with my favorite manager/her fiancé at sonic which is both fun and also means I might get all the hours I want #holla and also hannah is coming tomorrow night and spending a whole week with me and I am so so happy about this and also one of my favorite people ever is moving to dc this summer. There are a lotta nice things happening right now.

anonymous asked:

The exercise thing!! I'm iron deficient and I currently don't have any supplements to take so I'm usually tired anyway, but when I exercise it gets so much worse. Like, I have fallen asleep in between sets before and not even realized it. I used to always yawn in my martial arts class after workout because I just go so darn tired. Aaand it takes me forever to decide to exercise because I feel super awkward in the gym/in public. So now if I feel an urge to work out, I do it in my room instead.

Exercise. I hiss at the word. Literally.

Exercising for me is bad enough but being anemic while doing it is like total hell. Sometimes, I feel like an anemic vampire whose only method of moving my bod is by doing yoga…at home…with some curtains closed 3_3

4/19/2015 recap of 20

soo, just turned 21 a couple of days ago LOL.. it was possibly the hardest birthday ever, went through a 17 hour grind to finish a project, ended up not presenting to the level that i’d like it to be

anyways, 20 was definitely the roller coaster year of my life currently, from my lowest point to my highest point. I still remember crying in my dorm room, well not like crying but you feel me, about what im going to do with  my life and that i was a failure. and now Im pretty much crying in my room trying to finish goddamn projects LOL

it was a quite a year. i really enjoy what im doing, and for once im not halfassing it

like.. you know that kid in your class that always get good ass grades and is mad devoted into studying mad hard and stuff

dats me.

thats a crazy ass image change cause im that senpai that sits second to last seat next to the windows and doesn’t do jack shit

well anyways, im 21 so i’ve been extremely tempted to order alcohol at restaurants. do i want to even drink it? no  i just wanna order for the sake of i can order it LOL

FUUUCK THOO, 21.. i do have a lot more responsibilities now.. but i guess i’ll be a bomb ass architect that fucks shit up in 20 years

my friend found out I was pan and she pulled me out of photography to sit down w me and she ended up coming out as a lesbian to me? And she’s like. “Bro being pan is cool as fuck. You’re just a good person. You love people for people” and I almost cried like? she talked about how her gf is gonna be at graduation and I’m just? IM NOT THE ONLY QUEER ONE IN MY CLASS!!! IM NOT ALONE DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW AMAZING THIS IS FOR ME TO FIND OUT!!!!

I need the semester to be over already ;; this week is going to be so much school work to get done, and I’m so done with all of my classes they feel like such a waste of time :c and everything’s due next week x.x im putting myself through so much stress to the point where I’m having anxiety that’s worse than I’ve ever experienced before :c and the worst part is I don’t feel like im learning much anymore, rn im sitting through a lecture where she literally demos photoshop for an hour just to fill the lecture time :c I’m so stressed out and I need to be able to do the fun things that I really really enjoy and I need to be not in this town/on this campus for a while :c


l said: well do you have … really important class? Like, a class where you have to listen, otherwise you can’t understand or do you have a class where you just sit around and do nothing? I always decide that way xD

welp, its not so much the class itself that im worried about, its my attendence rate. I only went to school on monday this week because ive been feeling too burnt out with irregular sleeping to actually do anything lately, which happens from time to time. 

idk i just get annoyed at myself when i let this happen and i feel as if im being lazy :c

gentlehousing replied to your post: gentlehousing asked:have you ever…

are you in a lot of classes with him? that’s too real dude i’m sorry

i had english with him in 9th grade, and now i only have ap gov with him but i sit next to him so, i have to talk to him  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ and our desks are like close.. were friends but i still get nervous and i feel like he knows i like him a bit lowkey” bc~ i laugh a lot OTL

candygirl125 asked:

Hey! Whats up? Im a leo and i like a Aquarius... that doesnt even know i exist. I really want to talk to him except im pretty shy and don't know what to do?

Hello! Aquarius are friendly beings, but are often prone to be shyer with their feelings than some of the other signs. Sometimes just going up to the Aquarius and saying hi can lead to a good conversation itself because they are super friendly. If you find yourself in a situation where you are near the Aquarius (like school group work, sitting next to each other or you have a friend already speaking to hum) you can open up with a generic question or statement (i.g. “The quiz was hard”, “Will this class ever end?”, “Do you understand what we just learn?” ect.) just so you can have a better chance of making the conversation that seems less forced and more focus on your interest to speak to him. It is a really small gesture but it could go pretty far, especially since this is a topic anybody can relate to. Good luck!


eun-dj asked:

Let's be honest, we all feel old when we talk to some kids and use the phrase 'when I was in your age' 😂 because I feel super old when I use it

I recently started to use that phrase quite a lot heheh… but i sometimes dont even understand the high schoolers language moreover i caught myself sitting at class staring at group of girls thinking ‘were i this loud idiot at their age too?’
or other times when i realize im OVER 20, not even 20 but OVER it. and im an adult supposed to do adult things. and people call me adult too. or ‘miss’.  ㅠ

ive been feeling vaguely unsettled all day and i just realized why

classes are over, exams are over, im sitting here doing nothing and its okay

im not actually procrastinating anything

i dont know what to do now that i can do nothing

  • baby girl, your looking at your tumblr and i'm in class writing this because all i can focus on is you and only you. All thru the day your all i can think about. i crave your love like its a drug. your my angel sent from above. Your what makes my heart beat without you i will die. I sit her daydreaming of us and all the time we've spent together and all the time i cant wait to spend with you. When im not home or by your side i feel lost and alone i love you baby girl. i love you so much. I will love you unconditionally always and 5ever.

I sit here in class.. and I cant help but think of that.. him.. and you.. and her.. and all the words left unspoken. The fear of what will be said. And what will be left to linger in the air… The presence of my feelings.. killing me.. my mind.. my happiness.. god.. why?
Why cant I just start talking to someone and them want me equally the same.. I stare out the window and think of the tings Im too scared to say but Im so tempted to scream it at you… I want you to know.. so badly but I could never tell you..

How could you do this to me.. you were my friend.. and you only started talking to him for me.. and now. Youve fallen for him.. just as I have. But who cares anymore.

Ya know?

dnt want to go to class

my prof will see me sitting all alone and know that im uncool

why am i stil 15 years old in my heart . i just dont wanna seem uncool to my prof. DONT THINK IM UNCOOL PROF PLS but he will see mej sit all alone and hell know IM SO UNCOOL.

look im shaking and sweating andt heres this hollow painful feeling in my chest. i hate it i dont wanna seem uncool. fuk this