and-if-i-want-it-badly-enough

I updated my Mod Pony (aka Denny pony aka Fox Pony) design. She looks way less like a loser now.

She has her hair in a bun, like I do most of the time. She still has her special slytherin scarf. And she also has a choker collar, which I wear all the time, lel. It’s a guns n roses collar but I drew just a rose. I also drew the nose stud I have….on the wrong side of her nose, of course.

She also has redder/brownish hair. Because that’s the colour I’m hoping to get dyed soon….praying my hair will be strong enough. :\ You all have no idea how badly I want to dye my hair, it’s almost depressing.

I still miss you sometimes

I still miss you sometimes.
It isn’t easy, even a few months later.
I dreamt of you last night, and it felt so real.
I wanted so badly to text you. And see you. And touch you.

I wonder when was the exact time you realized you don’t love me anymore;
And how long you tried to fight the feeling;
And how I looked like to you, not knowing something was wrong.

I know you tried your best.
I gave mine, but it’s not enough I guess.

I still sometimes wonder if you’d call me one day or show up on my door
I still hope sometimes that you’d do.

There are days like this that I miss you so.
And all I can do is write, and let the feeling pass.
All I can do is sit here and wait for me to be okay.

sathinfection asked:

What is your ideal Silmarillion fic you'd never write

tbh it’s probably the one where Sauron (whom we know is good at illusions) torments Maedhros during his imprisonment with multiple hilarious (to Sauron) illusions of Someone Coming To The Rescue, complete with tender embraces and tearful apologies and beautiful reconciliations

so that when fingon actually shows up maedhros refuses to believe it and is a huge asshole for as long as it takes him to realise, which after thirty years of really convincing illusions ending in sauron sniggers is a really long time. 

sure, he’s safe now. fuck you sauron. no way would manwe send an eagle for any son of feanor. and real fingon would have been nice enough to kill him.

I want this story to exist so badly, but somehow I just don’t want to write it. 

9

had this idea for a while, but wasn’t sure if i was the right person to make it considering that ive said trans headcanons felt patronizing… you know what though? why not.

when one of my friends was piecing together his gender ID, he told me to call him “dave” and heavily identified with dave strider as a placeholder while he figured out who he wanted to be.

edit: ive been told i fucked up but not badly enough to remove the comic so im sorry about that

Sherlock almost said it. Out loud. He thought about it. No, not on the Tarmac, though he wanted to then too. On the roof. He wanted to so badly. So badly. He wanted to give in to a moment of… Of… Oh, there aren’t words. But he knew. He knew it was selfish. That this, honestly, was probably selfish enough. That he should probably just jump for real. Let John get on with his life. But he wanted to so badly it hurt. Wanted more than anything to run down and tell him, face to face, everything. But he couldn’t go down, could he? They’d have to do it up here.

He thought about that moment every day of those two years. Maybe he should’ve said it. Maybe he should say it now.

No, he had to finish.

So when he got back, he decided he would say it, no matter what. Except, why John so mad at him? And then there was her. And he knew that this moment he’d replayed in his mind for two years wouldn’t happen. Couldn’t happen. He wouldn’t do that, especially now. Not while he was with her.

He thought after she shot him that John would leave her. Couples have broken up over less. But they didn’t.

And so, on the Tarmac, what stayed his tongue is what has always stayed his tongue. How dare he be that selfish. The last time he disappeared, John nearly tore himself apart. What good could three words do? When John is married. He’s married, Sherlock. With a daughter on the way.

No. Best keep that bit to himself. Better this way. No need hurting one so dear to spare himself a little heartache.

okay so I’m doing it

I’m broke as fuck right now but I get paid on the 28th of August and even though I don’t get paid much at all, I’m planning on going to see Mad Max Fury Road at the BFI Imax cinema in London since I didn’t get the chance to see the film in the cinema and it means the entire world to me and after all the shit that’s happened and all the fucking stress I just desperately want to go and see it and actually have something good happen for once, even thinking about it is making me cry I just want to see it so badly and anyone who knows me will know just how big a deal it is to me.

So I’ll hopefully have enough to get a taxi to the train station and then a train to London as well as a return ticket for like 11pm to get home, the movie tickets are cheap enough with a student discount (£13), but I have to catch the tube from the station to waterloo and everytime I’ve been to London I’ve always been with someone and had an oyster card, but my parents have refused to let me use theirs because “we’re giving you fuck all” so I’m confused and would love some advice from any Londoners on what I need to do, I mean I’m not buying anything just yet until I know I can actually do it all.

But yeah I know this will get people to hate me but if any of you have any spare cash and wanna help me then my donate button is here, it would mean the world to me and make this trip possible and I can’t put into words how much this would mean to me. Signal boost if you can, I desperately need advice and maybe some of  you could come along and watch it with me!!!

GUYS!!!

I desperately need your help! Voting for the Xfinity Lip Sync contest ends tomorrow (8/22) and I need as many votes as I can between now and then! My friends and I had SO much fun making this before we all left for college and they did this all for me because they know how badly I want to meet Taylor. True friendship goals. 

If you can pretty, pretty please reblog this and vote I would be so grateful. You can vote here or by downloading the app (which I assume lots of you already have it!) and searching ‘Kara.’ It’s the Blank Space one! 

I can’t thank you guys enough! 

anonymous asked:

Can I request an imagine where after having a really bad fight with his father, Akashi has enough of him and asks his partner to run away with him? His partner having issues with their parents as well because they're never at home?

ah yes, the infamous Akashi-tired-of-his-pappy ask. pls refer to this post for an explaination of why i answered this ask the way it is

Enough is enough.

Seijuuro, please, tell me what’s wrong.’ You ask the question in a breathless manner, almost as if someone had rammed you with a truck and decided to smash your body with heavy rubber wheels repeatedly. The tone in your voice is commanding, forceful in a sense that causes his stomach to do flips and rolls. Before he could utter the words he wanted so badly to say to you, he bites his tongue hard enough to prevent him from allowing weakness to escape his lips. 

“No-nothing.” The pain stings as he listens to you sigh on the other line. This strained parental relationship would never end, nor would his pride ever let him simply leave from the responsibilities placed upon his shoulders. He was more than an adult, he was a damn heir of this stupid multi-million conglomerate created out of blood and sorrow. Akashi was confident his father was a husk of a man ever since his beloved Shiori left him alone in this monochrome world.

You stuttered. Are you hurt?’ How badly he wanted to answer yes, to say he was sick of these shackles that bound him ever since birth, to say the both of you could move to your own paradise. 

But he didn’t.

“I wanted to check-up on you, are you faring well?” 

I’m alright, dad isn’t going to come home as always and mom is…’ Akashi internally completes the sentence for you in his head.

“You are free to come to the manor if you feel lonely.” Akashi can picture you smiling at the phone as he imagines you standing in front of your window while covered in complete darkness.

Of course, but I’d hate to bother you.’ Please, you were the saving grace of this exuberant hellhole that doubled as a prison.

“Please.” Akashi wasn’t the type to ask twice, much less beg you to be by his side. If this was how low he needed to stoop to put up with his father and his cruelty, so be it.

‘…Shall I come tonight?

“Please.” Pride doesn’t allow a man to run away, it forces him to brave through perilous times.

You Loved the Idea Not Her

A/N: This is all in Stiles’ point of view

Walking into the weight room to find your girlfriend and your practically worst enemy making out isn’t exactly the best way to end the school day. All I could think about as I walked out of there silently was Theo’s smirk on his stupid little face that I wanted to punch so badly. Instead, I was able to gather enough strength to say “We’re done”

Those two words were all it took for a newfound numbness to take over me and I felt as if the walk to Lydia’s car was the longest walk of my life. Before I even had the chance to sit completely in the passenger seat, Lydia was already questioning me.

“Hey did you find Scott in-” She trails off and studies my face carefully, “Are you okay?”

Was I okay? It’s weird, I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders but a bigger weight was set on my chest making it hard to breathe or speak.

“Malia, she-” I take a deep breath and close my eyes hoping for some strength to at least get this sentence out, “she cheated on me with Theo.”

Lydia bites her lip, seeming to be deep in thought.

“Let me get you home. We can tell Scott about the new Chimera later.”

The drive home was silent, but in my state of numbness I was finally able to produce one coherent thought: I’m so lucky to have Lydia in my life. The second that Lydia parked the car in my driveway I started robotically getting out of the car and walking into my house. Knowing that my dad wouldn’t be home until late, I walked straight to my room without being stopped. By then I had expected for Lydia to be long gone, probably at Scott’s telling him about the Chimera, so I was startled when she walked into my room.

“You didn’t have to follow me” I said looking up at her from the edge of the bed where I was sitting.

“I had to make sure you were okay” she replied softly, tucking one strand of her Strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. She walks over to me and sits on the bed. She cups my face delicately, as if not to break me, and makes me look into her eyes. “So tell me, are you okay?”

I can see the sincere concern in her eyes and I turn my head slightly to the left, now focused on the wall while her hands now rest on her lap.

“It’s weird. It’s like I’m numb. Like I want to be sad but at the same time I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders”

Lydia sits quietly, her gaze set on the floor in front of her. After a brief silence, which to me felt like an eternity, Lydia found words to say.

“I always knew you deserved better”

“What”

“I never told you because I could tell you were in love. But now I realize that you weren’t in love with Malia you were in love with the idea of being with her”

By then I was staring intently at the side of Lydia’s head while she was staring intently at her lap, almost as if mad at herself.

“So who do I deserve then?” I whisper just loud enough for her to hear.

“Me.” She says, her voice barely audible. She looks up at me with such a sincere look on her face, I can’t help but lean towards her almost as if there was a magnetic force pulling us together. Her face is slowly inching towards mine until our foreheads are touching.

“You know, I’ve loved you ever since I can remember.” I whisper to her right before closing the gap between us and meeting my lips to hers. This kiss is short and sweet but so meaningful.

“I love you too Stiles. It took me a while to figure it out but I love you so much.”

anonymous asked:

i love your work! i have a prompt - claire and owen comforting zach when he has nightmares and wants to hide them from gray ;___;

I’ll be honest. I’ve had this prompt for a while, and I didn’t know quite what to do with it, so, obviously, I just ignored it. Well, not anymore, although I still don’t know if I knew what to do with it. Sorry it took so long (I’m trying to work my way through the prompt back log. Do not for one moment believe that means I don’t want more prompts thrown my way, because I do. I really, really do), and I hope it lives up to expectations!


It’s cramped quarters.

Of course it is. There are over 20,000 people flooding in from Isla Nublar and most definitely not enough hotel rooms to fit them all.

Claire wants a shower and a bed so badly that she’s basically willing to pay anything at this point in order to get them. They’ve gone already to three hotels to find a room, just a single room, and when they walk in to find a sea of people in the lobby, Claire’s not very optimistic.

She feels like sinking to the floor and crying, and Owen must see the desperation on her face because he tells her to stay put and that he’ll be right back.

When she spots him again, a few minutes later, weaving his way through the crowds with a triumphant grin on his face, she can’t help but throw her arms around him.

“I only managed to snag one room, but the good news is it’s a suite,” he reports. “Gives us a little more space.”

“You’re my hero,” she tells him, and his face cracks into a crooked smile.

“I wasn’t before?” He teases.

Keep reading

Two sides of my mind

I want so badly to get better
>>I want so badly to continuing losing weight

Psh 1200 calories is the recommended amount for a 5 year old. You need way more than that!!
>>I ate 300 calories and feel like a cow

This medicine will help ease my anxiety and depression, I deserve to take it to aid my recovery
>>I don’t do ‘medicine’ …oh wait unless it’s caffeine pills, diet pills, water pills, or laxatives…stock me up on those.

Recovery is worth it
>>The weight loss is worth it

I deserve help. This is not okay. I am sick enough.
>>I need to lose more weight before I can get help for this. I’m not skinny enough to need help yet. I’m okay.

You will never be happy if you focus on a number
>>I’m not happy right now, buuuuuut maybe if I lose a few more pounds I will be

It’s just water weight. Don’t worry what the scale says you didn’t really gain that much weight from one meal
>>I just gained so much weight from that food. I hate myself. Why did I eat that. I should purge. Oh my god I feel so fat.

Food will not make me fat. Food is filled with nutrients that will fuel my body! Take me long runs! Keep my skin and hair healthy and glowing!
>>Food will make me fat. If I’m fat I won’t be confident and people will judge me. I’ll judge myself. Food is bad. Either restrict or purge. There is no other choice.

I am letting this disorder control me and it needs to stop. I need help.
>>Purging/Restricting is a way for me to be in control. I am the one in control.

10 Steps To Conquering Anything You Set Your Mind To

There are things I’m proud of have achieved in my life and there are things I have failed to achieve. However, I have learned that to accomplish something big and rewarding, there are 10 key rules I need to stick by in order to guarantee success.

Are you ready? I have simplified these rules into the list below. 

1. Define what you’d like to achieve and how badly you want it.

The clearer and more definite idea you have of this, the better. Write it down. Put it on your bedroom wall or work desk. Make it a clear goal that you want to achieve by a definite timeline. 


2. Determine whether you want it bad enough.

If your goal is big and highly challenging, you have to want the goal bad enough in order to achieve it. Because the road to success is not easy - there will be obstacles - you will likely want to give up. So in order for you to make it through, you have to want it so badly that you’re willing to sacrifice your time and sweat to work hard. 


3. Define the reward - what you will get once the goal is achieved.

Obviously if you want to achieve something, there is an incentive behind that achievement. Whether it to reach your fullest potential and be recognized for your work, to get a promotion, or anything else that you dream of. Will you make yourself and your parents proud? Will you get to travel the world? Will you get to meet certain someone? Will you get to buy your loved one a new car? Will you get to pay off your mortgage?   

Remember that the real incentive behind all the tangible assets is actually feelings and emotions. You want to feel good. You want to experience the positive emotion - the high, the euphoria, the sense of achievement and fulfillment. Buying your loved one a gift makes you feel happy because you want to see her/him happy. Being able to pay off your mortgage, you will feel proud of yourself. Making your parents proud is probably one of the deepest and most satisfying kinds of happiness ever.   


4. Visualize yourself achieving the goal and enjoying the reward

Define exactly what will happen when you finally achieve that goal. How would you feel when your dreams actually come true? What will happen? 

How will it make you feel?

The more you can imagine and visualize the emotional response and reaction you will get and create that mental image in your head and your mind, the easier it will become to achieve that goal. Visualize it daily and in details if you can. Maybe when you’re in the shower or in your bedroom before bed.

Please remember to eliminate all self-doubt. Don’t ever doubt yourself - not even just a little bit. Even if it happens, try to brush it off. You can tell your mind once or twice that failure is possible and that you will have to be resilient and bounce back if that happens, however, never dwell on that thought. Never think about the possible failure in a repetitive manner. Don’t let any doubt get into your subconscious.   


5. Think about the strategy of how you can achieve your goal.

What are the action plans you need to take? What do you need to do? What are the challenges you will face? What are the possible outcomes - A, B, C, D? The better you are at this, the more chance you have at achieving your goal. If you feel like you’re competing with a lot of people who might be stronger and better than you in this area, then take in account your strengths and their weaknesses. What route do you think your competitors are likely going to take? How can you leverage off your strengths and talents in a way that other people can’t easily replicate or do it better than you? What do you have that they don’t? 

If you find yourself lacking in certain areas needed to achieve this goal, then dedicate some time to sharpen some skills. This might take a while but you will never go anywhere unless you get started. Everyone’s got to start somewhere. 


6. Write down a to-do list and tick it off one by one.

Once you have written down a strategy of how you’re going to achieve the goal, write down each action plan. What do you need to do first, second, and third? What are the most important tasks? What are the most urgent tasks? Prioritize them. Put them in order in a timely manner so you can focus on one task at a time. 


7. Focus on each step of the plan.

Be focused and really focused. Sometimes we get too excited about the future and the big picture that we forget to focus on the present and what we have to do NOW! Focus on moving from where you are now to the next step only. Make sure you do it right. Eliminate all distractions - whether that maybe the friends who try to get you to go out, social media, mobile phone, TV, or music. 

The key to accomplishing a goal is to focus - from one task to the next, don’t lose your momentum. If you find yourself struggling to stick through to a goal, use our Change a Habit in 30 Days printable as a tool to achieve a goal. Focus on one day at a time and the next thing you know you’ve made it to 30 days! 

Get into the flow. Be so focused that you feel like you’ve lost track of time. 


8. Persevere & Be Consistent.

Most of the time we don’t accomplish something because we give up too soon. The minute we feel like things are too hard, we give up because we feel like the goal is not worth fighting for anymore. This is why we said that if you want to accomplish something big and rewarding, you have to make sure you want it badly enough. Because only those who persevere will make it through. You might fail over and over. The key to this is to not lose hope and faith in yourself, become resilient, and get back up again doing things more intelligently than last time. 

  The man who moves a mountain begins carrying away small stones.

 - Confucius

Sometimes people think that they can offset inconsistency with one big payoff. For example, a quick detox or a hardcore workout session is not going to help fix your health when you have been having poor diet for several months or years. If you want to achieve a goal, you have to consistently work toward it. You can’t leave it off and pick it up again when you feel like it. 

  It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.

- Tony Robbins


Like the rabbit and the turtle story, the turtle wins in the end because even though he may move at a slower pace, he never stops moving. He is consistently moving forward. 


9. Learn from the expert and the experienced.

There are always people who are better than us. There are always those who have been through what we are going through.  Learning from them is the easiest way to find short-cuts and tips instead of trying them ourselves and stumbling around trials and errors.   

The Internet and social media are powerful tools to use to connect and find people. Use them to your own advantage. Invite the expert and the experienced out for a coffee or a lunch with you. Ask them to be your mentor. Learn from their path but never forget to pave your own path.

People write books to share experience and knowledge. So why don’t you read more about other people’s experiences and the industry. The more you know, the easier it becomes for you and the more likely you are going to succeed. 


10. Give it all you’ve got. Work hard.

You might say that these are 10 easy steps… why do most of us fail to achieve what we want? Well, because most of us lose focus. When we fail to give it all we’ve got, it’s because we get distracted. When we get distracted, we already lose a quarter or half of the time we have. We don’t work hard enough. We don’t give it all we’ve got. 


If you believe that you do all of these 10 steps and still don’t achieve your goal, you’re probably not being honest with yourself. Because if you are, you’ll realize that you have failed one or more of these points. These 10 steps seem simple, however, the trick is to consistently follow through and focus which is a weakness among us all.

i don’t think i will ever be over the fact that frederick chilton was scared to
death and his  life was in danger  when  reba waltzed  in and this man was
strong  enough to  collect himself.  he  did not do  anything stupid,  he was
able  to think clearly  under this  amount  of  pressure and even controlled
his breathing when reba was in the room. he could have fucked it up badly
but he didnt’t. in his own way he was in control and i’m so proud of my son.

I so badly want one raulson character hook up or relationship in hotel. ryan you’ve teased us enough these past seasons (ESPECIALLY COVEN). just this one time make it happen please. Aileen and Sally—> SAILEEN 2k15

Duckling, Pt I

read on ff.net

Prompt: Somehow Emma runs into the Swans (the ones that gave her up when she was three) and Killian is there to comfort her?

Things had been quiet in Storybrooke for the last few months, since the darkness had been vanquished from her. Emma wasn’t enough of an optimist to hope that they finally would all be able to live the ‘Happy Ever After’ she so badly craved, so she knew it was only a matter of time before the next villain struck the land.

All she wanted to do was cuddle with her pirate and drink hot cocoa. Was that really too much to ask?

Her parents had been relieved to get her back, but Emma would be lying if she said she wished for a few moments where she could just escape all of it; the town, the people, and the duties. She was so tired of being the Saviour, day in and out, and all she wanted was a break from all of it.

So it was probably the combination of it all which lead her to bring it up with Killian.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Why do you believe in God?

When a person who is your entire world is dying right in front of you - when you want to do something so badly but you know that you can’t do much, and there is no one there to help you or that person, the only place to seek for help is the Mercy of God. I’ve been around a lot of death; some have died by their own hand while others from diseases or accidents, but God has had enough Mercy to keep here the person I love despite the fact of how sinful we are. When a person is dying next to you, no doctors nor anyone to help you, and you ask God for help with tears in your eyes and the desire to never breathe again in case they don’t live, and suddenly the person wakes up…you have no one on this Earth or Heavens to thank except for Him. In hospitals they don’t pray to doctors, they pray to God. Be it an Atheist, Jew,Christian,Muslim…when it comes down to their breaking point - the real breaking point where their whole world is literally falling apart and they can do literally nothing to stop it, the only place they can turn to is the Mercy of God. I hope you never have the chance to experience such a thing like someone who is your whole world dying in front of you, but if you ever do then you’ll see what does it mean to rely on God. I believe for many reasons…many beautiful reasons that those who don’t believe in God don’t have minds to understand. But I think that when it comes to death, our natural response is to turn to God.

anonymous asked:

How did Purv get so much power or influence on all things SamCait? As many have shown, she us full of shit. Why then do we or anyone other than her mindless monkey followers react to stuff she says. I'm late to the party here so, was she ever right about something on S/C that gave her credibility at some point?

I really don’t know.  I saw a little but not enough for me to react to it?  Ignorance is bliss. I only went and looked when someone asked me to but not to the point where I constantly knew she was up to.  

There are a lot of people who have seen what’s she’s done and what kind of hate she’s capable of and tbh, I believe them.  I’ve seen firsthand accounts so I see where they want to shut her down so badly.  She’s pretty vindictive and down right mean.  I really don’t know why she’s doing this- why it’s so important for her.  She has nothing to gain and her propaganda for the truth is ridiculous, completely and utterly ridiculous.

anonymous asked:

your opinion on cal-pal 😏

pls no. ok let’s do this.

he literally makes me so fucking happy. like he is the sweetest boy in the world. he cares so much about his band and his family it melts my heart.

he is so misunderstood and it fucking irritates me. he’s not an asshole, he’s not a fuckboy, he’s calum. and that’s enough. he shouldn’t get all the shit he does for going out and doing things a normal 19 year old boy does.

he’s so cuddly and dorky. his freaking curly hair and crinkly eyed smile give me butterflies like I so badly want to play with his hair and scratch his back while he falls asleep.

but he’s also so fucking hot ??? like have you seen him on stage? that’s 50 shades of fuck me sideways. like I just wanna suck his dick and bite his thighs??? he’d be so whiny and breathy it bed like holy fuckeroni.

overall, I just love calum so fucking much it hurts.