and-i-still-love-it-and-cry-a-lot

hiding in my car to escape social setting. becoming a nightly thing. remembering having wept alone in a rental car a month or so before the move to california. i had just broken up with my high school boyfriend for the third or fourth time and we were on the phone and his end was silent i was crying i said “I’ll stop talking,” fishing, probably and regrettably, for a “no, i love you” or “come back, i miss you,” but he said “okay” with about as little disregard as an “okay” in that space can hold, which is still a lot. i’d soon hear similar disregard from a school counselor when i was missing school after the may thing. those two things actually aren’t related. he hung up after the “okay.” blue ford fusion

yet people are still tweeting him disgusting mean things that are meant to be “jokes”

he might actually be depressed or something even worse than that. a “cry for help” can actually mean something else. i hope to god he doesnt do anything stupid. 

i’m worried. i love him so much (i love phil too, but yeah) and hes been a part of my life for 6 years, and i know i dont know him personally but he means a lot to me (as much as someone i dont know personally can.)

anonymous asked:

tbh this is just something I wanna say bc I feel like I bother my friends when I talk about my dog who passed away in January but I feel like it doesn't really get better. I feel like I can't accept it and I still cry a lot bc of her being gone. probably bc I had had her ever since I could remember and then she was just gone and I feel guilty for not playing with her the day that she died even tho no one could have known it was her last day but it's still rough ya know

Pets are (and should be) treated and loved like family members and when they go, a part of us goes too. Just like any other loss, you think of the what ifs, the if onlys, and most of all you just miss the time that you got to spend with them. Grief of any kind is really rough and in some aspects, yeah it’s never truly going to hurt any less when we think about those we’ve lost. It’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to cry about it. But although a part of you will always love and cherish your pet, they would want you to be happy. Think of all the times your pet made you smile and know that wherever they are, they still want you to be happy. You might not forget or stop being sad when you think of your pet, but you WILL move forward. If you ever need someone to talk to, we’re here :) Best wishes to you and I know your dog is resting in paradise. 

Xoxo,

Dr. Haley, PhD

It’s been what… 2-3 months since I did my first follow forever, and I passed yet another milestone more like my follower count doubled just wow. I’m so in awe, and sort of shocked that y’all are still with me. I’m just a weirdo who sometimes makes edits and most of the time rage or cry about kyungsoo exo.

That being said, thank you for following me, and thanks to the people I follow for filling my dash with about everything I love. Lots of love to my mutuals for being the lovely people they are! Extra much love to my special ones for sticking with me! <3

You’re all fab - all of you - and continue being that way!

Bold - mutuals
Italics - faves
♪ - my cuties/ppl I’ve talked to (if you don’t recognize me as tendersoo, I used to be bacons-dyodoro)

#-C

50shadesofkimjongin // aceimperator♪ // adoringdo♪ // angelic-junmyeon♪ // arosoo // atlasofescapes // awesome-kai-jin♪ // baek-dhat-ass-up // baekhny // baekingkai♪ // baekkyungie♪ // baektoyourheart♪ // bearbrickjia // bin-soo // bittenpocky // ceokaisoo // chipsoo♪ // coolheadacheproduct♪ // cumgodkai

D-G

daddyparkchanyeol // dancerkai♪ // darklordkyungsoo // datkaidoe♪ // death-by-jongin // dofuckingsoo // doresque // dream-soo♪ // ducky-soo // dyo-alone // dyo-kyungpoop // dyoen♪ // dyonamja // dyoranghae // dyoru // dyosoo // ethereal-baek // exhoe-m♪ // exsoodus // florabon // for-chanyeols-sake♪ // gemui // godkyungsoo♪ // helloflowerboykai // holykyungsoo // hornykaisootrash♪ //  imgonnasooyou // in-do-isle // itsanexothing // ivy93do

J-K

jjokkomi // jongin-the-devildancer // jonginence♪ // jonginkai-ah // jonginnie-and-soo // jonginplease //  jonginsflatass //  jonginspuppydick //  junmyeonce // jxkd // kaid-oh //  kaifuckinsoo // kairora // kais-milksoo // kais-nuts // kaisasshole // kaisoo-booty // kaisoo-brownies♪ // kaisoo-is-ruining-my-life // kaisoq // kaitomysoo // kaittens♪ // kawaiisoosquishy♪ // kiwisses // kkamjongiinn // ksoostan // kyung-foo // kyung-nini // kyungdoh // kyungish // kyunglord // kyungporn // kyungsi // kyungsoolution // kyungsoosgirlfriend

L-Q

leastfavoritenoona♪ // luheir // luhtella // ma-kyungsoo // magiclitchii♪ // makemelubaek // milleniumheart♪ // mindlesskyungsoo // mohuyama // moonmistix //  mxoexo // myshinningstars // nightsoo // nini-soo♪ // niniandsoo // niniception // ninicrxsh // nomubogoshipo // oh-sehuns-ass // ohsh-it // oohsehun-ah // oosgnuyk-nignoj // otakusexualkai♪ // please-dyo-me // purpleuhan // queenbaekhyun

R-S

realkaisoo // redheadsoo // sadbaek♪ // see-the-xiububblebutt-twerking // 
shadyow // sinfulsoo♪ // soocakes // soocrxsh♪ // soofection  // sookingdick // soolover // sootrinity // soowriter // squishykyunggie // sugarplum-nini // suhdor♪ // susoos //   swagmoneysoo // sweatykaisoo♪ // sweet-soo // takeachansoo // the-king-soo♪ // thighsoo // thundyo //twerkingforkyungsoo // twinkyungsoo

V-Z

v-dyo // wetjongin♪ // wetsekai // where-the-kyung-is-kai♪ // winniethesoo // wuyaoifan♪ // wuyifanxing // xiuhan-was-taken // xiulay♪ // xiusperkynips // yeolache♪ // yeollieos♪ // yoonginati //  yourbiaslikesitrough

I think I got everyone, despite some of you having changed your urls and I just suck at remembering. If you’re missing here, or I messed up in any way, please let me now!

<3

9

A lot of music from a lot of artists that I’m very much into has been released over the past few weeks and I’m still playing catch up but here’s What I’m Listening To:

Melanie Martinez is simply one of my favorite artists and I love her endlessly. She released her concept/debut album, Cry Baby to much fanfare and rave reviews. All of it deserved, because Cry Baby is a stellar and emphatic introduction to the New York born songstress. This album is part Alternative R&B and part Dark Pop. The production is engaging and intricate. It’s the perfect complement to Melanie’s genius songwriting. A cohesive story is told throughout the album which is evident in the music videos for previously released songs. I should note that Melanie intends to release videos for every song on the album! The lyrics, production, and album artwork tell the story of Cry Baby who Melanie described as a child experiencing adult situations. She elaborated saying, “I am crybaby. she represents the insecure and vulnerable side of me. as well as the crazy and fucked up side of me.”  I could speak on this album for hours and I will if you want to talk about it, but just know that you will love this project.

The Weeknd is back with Beauty Through The Madness. I listened to this album in the early morning hours and I was thoroughly impressed. This is my favorite and in my opinion The Weeknd’s best work since his debut album, House of Balloons. This is the most dynamic change in sound for The Weeknd. A few projects into his career, the only knock on The Weeknd was that his formula never changed. That can’t be said about this album. With a new spin on his production and features from artists like Lana Del Rey and Ed Sheeran he’s definitely switched it up. He speaks on his subject matter that has revolved around sex and drugs on Tell Your Friends which is a standout. My favorite however is the Ed Sheeran assisted Dark Times which denotes the aftermath of what was likely a bar fight and general abject behavior that’s not conducive to being in a romantic relationship at this point in their lives. If you love The Weeknd you’ll love this. If you’re a former listener you’ll frind this refreshing. If you began paying attention after the 50 Shades soundtrack this album very much stays in that realm and you’ll definitely appreciate the Beauty Through The Madness

Alessia Cara exploded onto the scene with her debut single Here that painted the picture of a teenager who would rather stay in rather than go out. The first time I heard this song I knew it would be a smash hit and I knew I would love her sound. Alessia’s voice demands that you listen, commanding your ears to take notice to her soulful tone. Four Pink Walls her debut EP ranges from Pop to pure R&B. Seventeen is a vibrant pop song that captures the essence of youth, the expectations and misunderstandings of what being older meant and that inevitable desire to rollback the hands of time. The title track, Four Pink Walls with it’s 90s hip-hop influenced production shows Alessia singing/rapping about her love for music and how her dreams manifested into reality. Alessia Cara is here to stay.

Halsey is one of Pop music’s biggest new stars and you should take notice. Her alternative take on the genre infuses elements of Modern R&B to compose an atmospheric sound. Her debut album Badlands offers up more than a few danceable tracks but there’s more to her than summer anthems like Roman Holiday. There’s fan approved Colors which features Halsey’s favorite lyric: “You were red and you liked me cause I was blue. But you touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky then you decided purple wasn’t just for you.” Badlands covers the ins and outs of relationships and life as a public figure on songs liike Strange Love and the seemingly The Weeknd influenced Gasoline. Take notice, people.

FKA twigs follows up last year’s magical debut album, LP1 which earned her a #2 finish on my Top 100 Albums of 2014 with her third EP, M3LL155X (pronounced Melissa). The EP was accompanied by a 16 minute four part music video including previously released Glass & Patron. FKA twigs continues to push the boundaries of sound and visual art. She’s something like Bjork for a new generation (though Bjork is still creating compelling material) I always appreciate an artist who has a vision and no matter how bizarre people unwilling to accept something out of the norm will view it, they stick to their guns. There’s not much I can say about this one. The music speaks for itself from open to close creating a bone chilling atmosphere from production to vocals.

Sophia Black is a name that may make you think of the Project Almanac actress (insert heart eyes emoji) but that’s not the one I’m talking about here. I’m referring to the 20 year old trilingual songstress who speaks English, French, and Japanese. She released her debut EP and if she wasn’t on your radar I’m here to let you know she should be. I was introduced to her via Spotify’s personalized Discover Weekly playlist and I’m eternally thankful. Vibration was the first song I heard on which she glides effortlessly over dreamy production transitioning between English and French with such ease I didn’t even notice at first. On Mizu which is Japanese for water Sophia stuns with her vocal arrangement on a song about a lover who is as difficult to hold onto as a handful of water. If you’re a fan of any modern R&B acts Sophia Black exists side by side with them while creating a completely original sound. Do give her a try, you will not regret it.

Jordin Sparks took six years off, but clearly with good reason. Drifting away from the Pop of her previous two albums a more mature and experienced Jordin Sparks takes a full dive into R&B. From the album opener Work From Home featuring B.o.B, she sets the mood with a song that demands you sing along to it. The album is fun and playful with songs like 1000 but she also speaks on the ups and downs of relationships like Left Right? which is simple but genius in the way it’s written. It’s one of those songs that makes you wish you wrote it yourself. On 100 Years, Jordin channels Aaliyah and it’s haunting how much she sounds like her. This is her best album yet and you must listen to it.

Grace Mitchell is back following up her debut EP with Raceday which is an eclectic blend and shows a young artist still playing with her sound and experimenting. It’s always exciting to watch an artist grow before your eyes and not contain themselves. This EP is hard hitting pop that takes cues from Alternative R&B and other genres. NoLo feels like it could have been an Arctic Monkeys song especially when the chorus hits. While title track, Raceday is a magical piece of production, perhaps the most robust on the project that’s brought to life by Grace’s powerful voice. This is a unique genre bending project. If you’re familiar with Grace don’t expect from this EP what you got from her debut, Design. Do however expect something equally great.

Wondaland/The Eephus spearheaded by the incomparable Janelle Monae, Wondaland Presents: The Eephus features an array of artists including Janelle, Jidenna, Deep Cotton, Roman GianArthur, and St. Beauty. Maybe only a couple of those names look familiar but don’t let that cause any trepidation. This is an eclectic but ultimately soulful collection of songs that includes certified hits Yoga and Classic Man. The EP is opened up by Deep Cotton and Jidenna on the 80s inspired dance worthy, Let’s Get Caught. It’s impossible not to groove to this EP. However the highlight for me is Going Nowhere the lone slow jam by St. Beauty that exists somewhere between Kenzie May and Kilo Kish. Don’t pass this one by.

I’m literally crying because:

1. Carlos is to precious for this word
2. He is too pure
3. And perfect
4. He’s the cuties thing I have ever seen
5. The hair, the fUCKING HAIR
6. The smile, is something more beautiful? no tHeres NOT
7. Her mother hit him (a lot) and he’s still showing the fucKING smile
8. Her mother Tell him that he is worthless
9. And that’s the worst lie a have ever hear
10. Her mother is a bitch
11. Jay is in love with Carlos
12. Carlos is in love with Jay
13: Did I already mentioned that he is to beautiful and pure and good?????????
14. Carlos let me hug yoU please
15. Jay and Carlos need to kiss, like right know
16. (And do other things of course *pervert smile here*)
17. He is a precious cinnamon roll

Dog!Yama AU

 Picture an AU in which Tadashi was originally Tsukishima’s dog, but was somehow turned human by whatever circumstance.  Now he has to adapt to human lifestyle and try not to out himself as a former dog.

Silliness ensues i.e. Tadashi forgets that it’s no longer socially acceptable to cheer and shower Tsukki with kisses ever time he sees him.  Or that he has to wear clothes all the time, yes even when it’s night time.  Tadashi, it’s just a cat, it’s not going to hurt me please let me go.  Do not juMP INTO THAT FOUNTAIN TADASHI NO

More fun facts about Dog!Yama:

  • If Tsukki doesn’t let Tadashi follow him to the bathroom, Tadashi will cry
  • He does not like Kageyama.  That face is evil.
  • He loves Sugawara.  Suga gives him meat buns and pats his head so he loves Suga a lot.  Suga is so great.
  • He still likes to wear his collar (”It means I belong to Tsukki and he loves me!”) but Tsukishima won’t let him wear it out anymore (”It looks creepy, Tadashi.”)
  • Tadashi has to protect Tsukki from all of the mean things that are trying to get him.  
  • Things like: birds, cats, Kageyama, car horns, the school bell, frogs, Kageyama, the waves at the beach, sprinklers, and also Kageyama…
  • Cuddling with Tsukki at night is a very important job and only Tadashi can do it right
  • He will also cry if Tsukishima neglects to talk to him for 20 minutes straight

Keep reading

I don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend, I just need my ships!

Is the same.
Sometimes I will be happy and other times sad or mad.
I’ll still have fluffyness and lots of love.
I will suffer a few times.
I will cry (a lot)

So why I need a boyfriend/girlfriend if with one ship is enough?

rinkorin asked:

Does reincarnation exist in this AU? I mean, if someones dies, their soul could still make a come back in a new body, but the bond the demon and human have would have to be made again or something(?)... :( I just don't want Dipper to go forever okay? When children die in movies I always cry, and the sky too (not kidding, where I live it rains a lot, but not these days, frikking sun). I love your AU, seems so innocent :´( and cute.

Let’s just say I’m not gonna make it easy for Bill. XD

Rereading volumes 1--55: Ran

I miss Ran.

I think that’s what hit me the hardest when rereading the earlier volumes: Ran feels like a completely different person to what I remember her being in the later manga, and I don’t mean in a good, isn’t-in-incredible-how-her-character-developed way. I mean I really can’t figure out how she got from A to B, but she seems like a completely different character.

I love the Masami Hirota case for a lot of reasons–knowing its crucial relevance to the plot, the clever cross-deceptions, and Akemi’s death still managing to make me tear up through what a raw gut punch her last few panels are–but I think Ran JUMPING OUT OF A WINDOW and SMASHING HER WAY INTO A SUSPECT’S CAR because she thinks he killed “Masami” is still up there with my favourite Ran moments. I feel like later on she was flanderized down to doing nothing but cry in response to things; here, she cries about Masami’s death because tearing up easily has always been a part of Ran’s character, but so has this wonderful, burning fury that I feel like she lacks later on. From the first chapter, Ran has been a karate champion who, yes, will cry at deaths and ghosts, but will always respond, where she believes it possible, with action. When Sonoko’s in a car about to roll off a cliff, Ran smashes it open and pulls her best friend out. When startled by an axe-murderer in an isolated house, her response is to scream but also to kick the attacker hard enough to snap the handle of the axe. When a fake clockmaker’s grandson tries to take her hostage, Conan and Kogoro display fear… for her attacker. Who she promptly lays flat and then complains of him startling her. I always loved this mix of fierceness and tenderness in Ran, that she was a top-drawer badass who also felt strong emotions, but I just feel like in later volumes the badass fell by the wayside in favour of the emotions rather than the two continuing to work in harmony.

I can’t pinpoint it exactly, but I feel like the downslide happened at the end of the Desperate Revival arc, when Shinichi continually abandoned Ran at the restaurant. Ran felt off to me for a lot of this case, and I think it’s because she was so passive. I know this is a big moment for both of them, finally getting to spend time together after (as far as Ran knows) not seeing each other for months, but it felt like Shinichi was leading the entire thing–yes, he asks Ran’s permission to go investigate the murder, but it felt a little odd to me that she didn’t go with him, or never went to look for him after he ran off and had been away for ages. The previous time that he returned, the first time we met Heiji, she was bombarding him with questions (rightly so) and chased after him as soon as he tried to run off… I guess I feel like she didnt’ stay at that table in the restaurant for any reason other than “the narrative needs her to”. 

And I’m uncomfortable with this ending because it’s part of a long chain of Shinichi repeatedly gaslighting Ran about his identity and location and perpetually lying to her, yet playing off their unresolved feelings for each other as ~tragically romantic~.I really don’t understand why Shinichi is still hiding from Ran, to be honest. He is living in her house and using her father as a cover, which during the Rena Mizunashi incident nearly got him killed, and might have gotten Rean killed too as a possible loose end. It might have been sensible at first, when only Shinichi and Agasa knew the secret and didn’t know anything about the identity and scope of the organization they were dealing with (at the start, Shinichi just through it was two guys), but now Shinichi is rolling in Black Org information and has been spreading his identity around like butter; his parents know, a random dude from Osaka that he never knew before he was Conan knows, a random kid from America who is up to his giant glasses in BO shit knows, a former member of the Black Organization knows, and at least one actual active member of the Black Organization knows! Basically, I really dont’ understand why he hasn’t told Ran yet; she’s hardly defenseless–hell, she’s a good sight more capable of defending herself than he is, or Haibara, or Eisuke–and with him having already brought BO to her doorstep at least once (twice? Only seen scatty bits about this waiter dude who works for Kogoro now and is probably BO?), what she doesn’t know could kill her.

And bloody hell, she deserves to know if she’s still somehow in love with him through all this shit. It think that’s what rubs me up the wrong way too; their entire relationship is a badly dragged out game of deception and distance, but the narrative still handles it as a positive romance. No. You stop that. 

the holy quintet.

The blog sugasmut is verging onto its third month of being active, and in this time, I have posted twenty-three stories, a handful of reactions, and answered a lot of sweet asks from all of you lovely people. And that is exactly what I am here to celebrate! You!

A week ago, I marked the point of 1500+ followers, which is honestly a huge honour and is still completely mind boggling for me. Who are you all? Where are you all from? How the heck did you find me?! I started this blog off as just an experiment, a new form of creativity, but I am way too deep to blow off my dirty smut writing as that now.

So to celebrate, I have made my own kind of follow forever. And thus, I introduce you to The Holy Quintet - a pentagon of five writers that I will forever recommend to you all. Each of the points are made up of myself, 4meensuga, hyacinth-ink, heungtanbts and zeurin. I have made a link on my blog, otherwise you can click right here and be directed to the page that describes all four of my darlings, including my three recommended reads from each of them! (Tbh you should just read everything they write)

Well, what are you waiting for? Go forth, go read!

random late night promo for some wonderful people

idk i was feeling crappy and then people made me feel a lot better, so i’m a bit more positive now (plus i saw some people on my dash who i love so i had to include them too). btw if you aren’t on this list i still love you i just am terribly forgetful and also exhausted and running on caffeine which is also why i’m rambling and not making sense and not using proper grammar.

cumbergoddess -> she’s my amazing girlfriend and just so heartbreakingly gorgeous idk why you aren’t following

cumberbangers -> Ruth is so wonderful and kind (and is super genuine and funny and awesome). She accidentally deleted recently, so go make sure you are still following! 

sgtsally -> I always see you on my dash and it always makes me smile. You are so sweet and even though I don’t talk to you much, you are still one of my favs

sherlockholmestm -> Mari you are such an incredible person. Your art is awesome too, but not as awesome as you (that sounded so ridiculously lame but idc because you are fckin amazing). You are also so nice, and you make me smile.

duskybatfishgirl -> you are incredibly talented, and more importantly just so nice and considerate of people. You just seem like such a genuinely good human being, and a wonderful soul. 

ohshitimatthewrongparty -> you are so nice, and you seem to always take the time to make sure I’m okay if I post anything that indicates otherwise. Thank you <3

deaflock -> Mel you are just perfect. Gorgeous, kind, considerate and friendly. 

anotherwellkeptsecret replied to your post “[[MOR] *wince* I suppose I would rather be hated for my actual…”

Hey, dude, I’m right there with you. If you need anything let me know. I still love you lots and think you’re pretty rad. =) I don’t know what you did to make everyone so angry, but I still think you’re awesome.

*clings* This made me cry, in the right ways. Thank you!!!! I had an unpopular opinion and had the nerve to express it. I don’t like it when people are twats to or about Benedict and I said so about one person in particular. An apparently beloved person. Who plays Ms Morstan. You know. I should have known better, though plenty of people expressed their agreement. Still.

<333333

tagged by jehanprouvaires

I love you kass ur a cool cat 

1) Write your name in song titles:

Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Tyler

Attitude City by Ninja Sex Party (NSP)

Nawatobi from Love Live

Ninjya re Bang Bang by Kyary Pamyu Pamyu

Aperture Science Innovators from Portal 2

Honor Him from Gladiator

2) Why did you choose your URL?

well my url comes from a weird joke that’s evolved over time, it started when I was playing legend of zelda twilight princess and I was fighting a skeleton creature (stalfos) that are much bigger than link and in that game link is estimated at about my height 
my siblings have always lovingly teased me about being short and my brother started a little song that went “little hannah fighting big stalfos” which later evolved into calling me a skeleton because I’m smaller than all my siblings
later my brother found this gif 

which I could not stop laughing at and eventually my siblings just solidified my skeleton name
the “ole” part comes from the fact that I’m medeival fantasy trash and an old man with creaky bones and no concept of what the kids are into these days

3) What’s your middle name?

my middle name is marie so my aunt and uncle and co. call me hannah marie 

4) If you could be a fictional/fairytale being, what would you be?

oh dANG GOOD QUESTION READY FOR THIS i would be some kind of elf, satyr, tree nymph, or deer centaur

5) Favorite colors?

carnation pink, navy blue, emerald green

6) Favorite song at the moment?

ah jeez I have a lot I’ve been getting back into my 80′s jams lately and I’ve been listening to a lot of love live trash and NSP and all that good stuff okay everyone go listen to unbalanced love from love live and dinosaur laser fight by NSP you’ll get a good idea of what my taste in music is rn

7) Top 4 fandoms? (at the moment)

game grumps
love live
legend of zelda (ALWAYS)
all video games let’s not lie to ourselves

8) Why do you enjoy Tumblr?

honestly I don’t that much like it’s cool sometimes but not consistently and I feel like a lot of people don’t spend enough time away from it to see how much time it takes up and the way that people will manipulate you and make you believe in ideals that you don’t have and idk i just feel like there’s good stuff here but also a lot of garbage spewing behind computer screens and like don’t get me wrong i love all of you but you get me some people here need to just breathe and chill a little honestly this website gives me anxiety over long periods of time
but yes sorry I sort of ignored the question it’s a good place to find funny stuff and pictures of video games and the baes and I’ve met some of my best friends here!

9) Tag 9 of your mutuals

choochoocaboose spindashes effyeah-markiplier warmeggy fruit-cake suzyberhows robmcclanahan minicalzones sluttynuggies