and-i-should-have-bought-it

@mpuzzlegirl It isn’t that my mother would disapprove of my having a toolset. After all, it was my mother who taught me all about how to use power tools and repair things.

It’s really more that she would disapprove of my having such a girly set of tools. She would tell me I should have bought “real” tools. My mother’s brand of feminism said that all men are evil and out to get you, but also that being a girl was wrong. You weren’t allowed to like pink or wear dresses or do anything “girly”. I distinctly remember my mother telling me when I was about 11 that she was going to “beat the girliness out” of me.

My mother had serious body image issues, coupled with 21 years of verbal abuse from my father. She projected all of her insecurities onto her daughters. I spent years wishing I had been born a boy because being a girl was such a horrible thing. It was like…being a boy was the default, while being a girl was an unfortunate accident of nature.

Now that I am older, I embrace my “girliness”. I love pink, I wear it all the time. I love skirts and dresses and I look dxmn cute in most of them. I feel comfortable in my own skin, which is something my mother never had.

My brand of feminism says that it doesn’t matter what gender you choose to identify as. All of them are valid, and you should pursue interests or careers in whatever skill sets you feel naturally inclined to use. The gender binary is a social construct, and I very much enjoy giving it the middle finger. So yeah; I will buy the girliest tool set I can find. I love the juxtaposition of a traditionally masculine item being dressed up in a very feminine package.

Just because I am a girl doesn’t mean I can’t repair or build some shxt. No matter how you identify, you are just as capable as anyone else in learning new skill sets.

Anyways, this reply got a bit long… XD;;

A Tumblr-less friend posted this theory her husband had. I slammed the headcanon button so hard I should have bought it dinner first.

Thor: Banner, I desire to act like a normal human for a time. How should I accomplish this?
Bruce: Well, um, normal people don’t have your speech pattern, for one. They, um, have jobs and hobbies…
Thor: Hobbies?
Bruce: You know, photography, video games, puzzles…
Thor: And how does one acquire a ‘job’?
Bruce: Most people use the inter… you should probably look in the classifieds in a newspaper. Also, try shaving the beard and cutting your hair- you’re a bit recognizable.
Thor: *sees Superman/Clark Kent costume* A disguise? Like that man?
Bruce: Sure, yeah, glasses work.

-later, above a Chinese restaurant-

Thor: Hello? I saw your ad. I’m Kevin.

Music Series: When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars

Aww, Harry’s so sweet! I loved writing my stories tonight. Sometimes I really feel them and those are the ones that I don’t care as much if anyone else loves them or doesn’t, because I do.

This story was written from Bruno Mars’ song, “When I Was Your Man”. Bruno has such great songs, and perfect for Harry stories. I cheer for Harry and the girl he is always in these scenarios with! Is that weird? I love them and it makes me happy!

Here is a link to this song on my Spotify playlist called “Gloomy Poops”…this is a new playlist that I just added, so please give me time to add more songs. I need to get to sleep for tonight, but I promise I’ll work on it this week!: https://open.spotify.com/track/0nJW01T7XtvILxQgC5J7Wh

Enjoy, Lovies! xo

Shelli

*************************

“Baby, I’m home!” Harry shouts as he walks into the home you share. He walks in and peeks into a couple of rooms looking for you but doesn’t see you. “Love?” He walks into the bedroom, then to the master bath, and notices some of your things that are usually there are missing. He walks back into the bedroom, opening the closet door, and sees all of your clothes and shoes are gone. “Oh, baby, no…”

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now

Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same

When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down

‘Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

You sat in the hotel room, quiet and alone. Sadness consumes you. You hated leaving Harry, but things had changed so much in your relationship over the few years you were together, you felt it was time. He wasn’t the same. He used to practically put you on a pedestal, which wasn’t necessary, but was part of the charm that had won you over. Always thinking of you, keeping you a part of his life.

As you lay in bed, unable to sleep, you see the light on your phone light up with a call. Looking at the screen, you see Harry’s name at the top with the photo you used of him for his contact photo. He must be home now, you thought. He knows. You stare at the screen, then a moment later, see the notification that you had a voicemail. You just couldn’t. You didn’t want to hear his voice. You knew he would be hurt that you left, or would he? Maybe it would be a relief to him.

Call after call, voicemail after voicemail, text after text. Finally, after dozens and dozens of calls, you gain the courage to listen to a voicemail.

‘Baby, where are you? Please, call me! We have to talk! You can’t just leave me, babe. We love each other! Please, baby, please call me.’

You sob into your hands, listening to voicemail after voicemail. You listen as his messages circle through the stages of grief. Beginning with panic, he quickly fell into the denial.

No, I don’t accept this, love. I know I’ve not been around much, but…you knew this is my life. We’ve been together a long…’ he says as the voicemail cuts him off. The messages quickly move to anger then negotiation.

‘Baby, please. I’ll come get you so we can talk. I…I’ll do anything, love, anything. Just please, don’t do this…’

You hear him sniff and cry into the phone as the messages change in emotion again. ‘Sweetheart…I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, please. I love you. Please don’t do this. Please…’

Too young, too dumb to realize

That I should have bought you flowers, and held your hand

Should have gave you all my hours, when I had the chance

Take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby’s dancing, but she’s dancing with another man

A couple of weeks passed and Harry hadn’t seen you or talked to you. He was worried about you, not knowing where you were, and left messages, begging you to let him know you were okay. You couldn’t bring yourself to call him. That damn charm of his. You knew yourself and him well enough to know that, if you talked to him, he would persuade you somehow to meet with him and talk, and you weren’t ready for that. You remembered how he could be…how he was for most of your relationship together.

On your first date together, Harry arrived at your door with a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers. Every week for years after, he would bring you another bouquet…always of wildflowers, being your favorite. He also loved to be touching you. Whether his arm around you, his hand holding yours, his arm around you as you both slept, his hand on your leg as you drove somewhere together…he loved the nearness of you.

But, as his life became hectic again with the success of his solo career, and the upcoming news of One Direction reuniting for a spell, Harry had changed. It was common for a person in his position to let the success go to his head, you just didn’t think it would happen with Harry. He was so down-to-earth and humble. You didn’t understand how that had changed, but it had.

You sent him a text that simply read, ‘I’m okay. No worries.’

My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways

Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life

Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, oh

And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

Harry had become so consumed in his work and the rest of his life, that he had made his relationship with you less of a priority. You understood that he stayed busy. You were always okay with, and accepting, of that. It was his job, after all. But little things began mounting that were wearing you down. Not calling you to let you know he wouldn’t be home, that he was going to a party…for business, of course. Or spending the day shopping, not asking if you would have liked to come along, then bragging about all of his purchases and talking endlessly about his day, not even asking about yours.

But the worst was the day that became the last straw. You were surprised when he didn’t mention it was your birthday first thing off that morning, but you knew he had a lot to do that day, so you let it go. Then no phone call or texts all day, apologizing for not saying anything that morning. Finally when he came home late that night, you were at least expecting a last minute apology, or a gift…but there was nothing. And what hurt the most was the fact that his plans that evening had been attending the birthday bash of another celebrity. You were heartbroken.

Too young, too dumb to realize

That I should have bought you flowers, and held your hand

Should have gave you all my hours, when I had the chance

Take you to every party 'cause all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby’s dancing, but she’s dancing with another man

Harry sat alone in his home, no tv on, no music playing, just sitting and thinking. Occasionally he would think of a line for a lyric and jot it down, but that’s how emotions worked. Some of the best songs were written during times of sadness and misery.

He stared at the screen of his phone as he looked at photos of you and him together. Photos from the last rainy day that you spent lazing around the house together. Photos of your last holiday you took, spending a week on a secluded beach. Photos of you and he at his family Christmas gathering. Harry knew he fucked up.

He knew you were ‘the one’. He knew you were the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and he made selfish choices and lost you. He beat himself up over it every day as he surrounded himself with loneliness, and every night as he lay in the bed he used to share with you. He hadn’t had the strength to wash your pillowcase, afraid of it losing the scent of you.

In a moment of desperation, Harry called your best friend, begging her one final time to tell him where you were.

Although it hurts, I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong

Oh, I know I’m probably much too late

To try and apologize for my mistakes

But I just want you to know

You finished getting ready for the event your date had invited you to. A friend had begged that you attend with her cousin, who needed a date, and after telling her no a few times, you finally caved and agreed, hoping she would leave you alone after that.

You looked at yourself in the full-length mirror, examining your body to make sure you looked good enough for such a gathering. As you looked at your reflection, you remembered you were wearing Harry’s favorite dress on you. He had even bought your shoes for you as a surprise, saying they would be the perfect shoes to adorn such lovely feet in such a beautiful dress. You were going to wear your hair down, then remembered Harry preferred it up in that dress, and without really thinking hard on it, quickly pulled your hair up and walked to the door after hearing the bell.

I hope he buys you flowers, I hope he holds your hand

Give you all his hours, when he has the chance

Take you to every party, ’Cause I remember how much you loved to dance

Do all the things I should have done, when I was your man

Do all the things I should have done, when I was your man

As you walk into the party, your date walks off, talking to others he knows. At first you thought it rude, but after experiencing his dull personality on the drive there, you were relieved. After a miserable evening, you finally excused yourself from the party, telling your date you needed to leave, and not to bother, you would take a cab.

Exiting the elevator, you reached your floor and turned to walk toward your door. As you rounded the corner by your room, you stopped dead in your tracks and looked at the figure sitting on the floor in front of your door.

Harry quickly stood, looking at you, seeing how beautiful you were in his favorite dress, unable to speak. He missed you, and it was the first time he’d seen you since you left.

You looked at him nervously, licking your lips, feeling your heart racing. Before you could speak, Harry bends down and picks up something from the floor.

“Wildflowers,” you say, breathlessly as he holds them out to you. You see a tear fall from Harry’s eye and feel him take your hand in his. He stands closer to you. You see his pulse beating rapidly beneath the skin on his neck.

“Please…can we talk? I’ll do anything for you, love. Anything, just…give me another chance.”

Bad Girl Ch 22: A Little Show(M)

Didn’t even realize it was Baek’s birthday when I posted this! Happy birthday Baekhyun! 💕 p>Must read! Okay rushed too fast and forgot to add something to the end of the last chapter so please go back and reread the end of dinner. It’s not required but it does give you a look into what will happen in the chapter after this one!

“Daddy.”

Yixing hums as he fascines his seat belt.

“Are you okay?” He suddenly got an edge to him when he pulled away from Haneul’s hug.

He nods and gives me a small smile, “I’m fine Baby, Noona just told me a secret.”

“It looked like she was teasing you,” I try and be playful but it doesn’t seem to help at all. I try to take the edge off again by reaching out for his hand and collapsing it in both of mine.

“Baby please be careful.”

I frown, “What?”

“Noona, she… she told me that there are bad people hanging around you and I want you to be careful.”

“Don’t worry Daddy, Jiho oppa is always looking out for me,” I try to reassure him but the way his hand tightens around mine I don’t imagine it helps much. “How was your day?” I try to change the subject.

“Absolutely boring, the clock could not move fast enough. The others felt the same, Baekhyun was bouncing out of his seat he was so excited to get out and go shopping for you.”

“He went shopping for me? We were supposed to go together,” I pout.

“After our change of plans and Suho got moved to tomorrow, Baekhyun threw fit saying that you guys were going to go shopping. So after a good round of arguing it was decided that he would get you tonight and he wants you to give him a full fashion show.”

I pause for a minute, “He wants what?”

“A fashion show, he most likely bought you a shit ton of things, work related and other, and he is going to want you to try on each thing.”

“This is going to be ridiculous.”

“Yea it is,” He laughs, “Just have fun and remember to smile.”

“Smile?”

“For the camera,” He grins at me, “We had to come to an agreement somehow. Pictures seemed like a solid agreement.” He chuckles as he kisses the back of my hand.

“You guys are such perves,” I stick my tongue out at him.

We talk more about our days the drive home, his thumb constantly drawing small circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. Randomly he would bring my hand up and kiss it, giving me a warm feeling in my chest. Yixing is so warm, his personality seems to project a rainbow when he is with me but I know better. I wonder what he is like with Haneul when they are alone.

“Daddy?”

Once again, he hums, never taking his eyes off the road, “Yes?”

“How did you and Haneul unni meet? You don’t have to give me details really, just a vague description if possible.”

“Well,” He struggles to find the right words. “The simplest way to describe it would be that I walked in when she was in a bad situation and I solved it. After it was solved I helped her get her life together and she figured the rest out on her own.”

“So did she see you when you were in your foot soldier days?”

“I meet her a little while after I started them, why?”

“I want to know about that time in your guys lives. Haneul seems to know a lot.”

He chuckles, “Noona knows everything, that is kind of her thing.”

“Her thing?”

“How about you ask her the next time you talk? I’m sure she would be happy to explain it to you. But if she asks you to make a deal don’t agree to it because her knowledge comes with a price and you never know what it could be. I’m assuming since it’s you she will give you at least a little something for free.”

I nod as we pull up to the house, “Thank you for the amazing dinner.”

“You are welcome though as much as I enjoyed tonight I would prefer if it were just the two of us.”

“Next time.”

He escorts me inside where we are attacked by a group of whining men. They all take their time to greet me, hugging me and loving me. Unni’s words ring in my ears reminding me to hug each man tighter than usual, to look up at them with wide innocent eyes like I used to. Though they say nothing, they notice it right away. Baekhyun scoops me up last, he spins me around with a big smile on his face.

“Are you ready?” He muses

I nod eagerly, though I’m not that excited to constantly change outfits, but he looks so happy I can’t even be mad. We say farewell to the others as he basically drags me to his room where at least a dozen bags are scattered on the floor and on his bed. My jaw drops at the sight of them. “Daddy, don’t you think you went a little over board?”

“This is just the fun stuff,” He chuckles, closing my mouth for me, “I already put your work clothes in your room.”

“Fun stuff?”

He nods, “Remember that dress you wore for Chen all that time ago?”

I hum, a smile coming to my face at the memory.

“Well, I was hoping you would be feeling gracious and try on some of these outfits for me. And my camera.”

I eye the bags, a bit nervous for what could be inside but once again Haunel’s words ring in my ears. Next thing I know I’m sheading my clothes in his bathroom digging the first outfit out of the bag, it’s a fluffy dress that has my little side peeking her head out for the first time in a long time. I let her take over, feeling the soft frilly fabric between my fingers and letting smile spread across my face. It’s so cute. Digging deeper into the bag I find a pair of lace stocking, I pull in on, giggling at the ridiculous outfit. I peek my head out to find him sitting on the edge of his bed, his legs bouncing with excitement, looking anywhere but at me.

I clear my throat drawing his eyes to me, “Baby!” He coos rushing to me and ripping the door open. I look down at my toes shyly, “You look absolutely adorable!” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug. He snaps a picture or two before letting his hands run up and down my thigh, his fingers play with the bows on the back of my stockings.

“I have a lot of things to try on so we gotta move on quick,” I note ad he runs is fingers over the dress.

He groans, “Fine, try on of the black bags next!”

I nod before going back in. I find the back bags he mentioned and pull out the little outfits in side. After I try on a few and take a few pictures, a sexy maid, a nurse, another princess dress before I see a pink bag near the bathtub. I pick it up and peek inside, both my little and I blush at the sight of it but I figure this would be a good climax. With pink cheeks I pull on the pink lace onsie and the stockings that go with it. For a minute I consider just going out like this but the last few things in the back would make it perfect so with a deep breath I put the accessories on and pull the door open a crack.

Baekhyun must not have been far from the door because he is ripping it open in no time, “What did you pick out next? Did you see the-“ His cheeks flush. His mouth opens slightly but he snaps it shut as he jaw clenches. I bite my lip as I watch him take it all in, the see through onsie, the stockings, the cat ears, and collar resting around my throat. The matte pink choker seems to take most of his attention though I understand why, the tag is what made me blush the most.

Property of Kim Baekhyun is carved into the golden metal hanging off the collar. With a deep breath I push out my bottom lip and let out the most ridiculous noise that has come out of my mouth, “Meow.”

It is so worth it though to see the utter shock on Baekhyun’s face. His jaw drops open, “Again.”

I peek up at him meekly, “Meow.”

He has me pinned against the wall faster than I thought possible, his face buried in the crook of my neck, “My sweet kitten.”

“I didn’t think you would like this kind of thing,” I admit

He chuckles, but doesn’t move away, “I’m usually not, this was a present for Yixing hyung but I think I need to change my mind. This is definitely something I can get on board with.”

I whimper when he starts trailing kisses up my neck, “Daddy.”

He doesn’t say anything, just continues his way across my jaw and hovers above my lips. Our noses brush, his hands come up to cup my face, his thumb drags across my lip. His tongue imitates the action on his own pair of pink pillows. I wait for him to come closer but he doesn’t, he just continues to stare me down.

“Kiss me already,” I whine pulling him closer.

“I will, but I’m just enjoying the view first before I completely destroy you. Picture, I need a picture!” He tries to pull away but we are this far, he isn’t going to stop now. I reach up and grab onto the collar of his shirt and pull him in closer, smashing out lips together in an almost, animalistic kiss. He is as eager as he usually is but there is a slight difference, he is clinging to me tighter than I remember. He picks me up and carries me over to the bed, never letting our lips separate until I’m lying on my back, he is in between my legs reaching above my head for something. He returns with his phone, he sits back on his heels and takes a few snap shots before tossing it away carelessly. “My picture requirement has been reached, they can go fuck themselves.”

“I guarantee that is what they plan to do.”

“I would be lying if I said I won’t be doing the same,” He hums, “Maybe I should take a video?” He leans a way and tries to dive for his phone but I catch him and pull him back.

“No you don’t need that, I’m sitting right here in front of you waiting for you to spoil me with attention, isn’t that more important than some video.”

He chuckles as he drops to rest on his forearms so our faces are only inches away. “I love this,” He purrs as he kisses my neck once again, his lips brush against the collar. “I wish I could keep it on you all the time but just for now is good enough.”

“I thought this was a present for daddy Yixing.”

“There are other collars, I bought one for each us than one that claims  you as EXO’s. This one was for me and just me.” He pauses for a moment as his eyes scan me once more, “I should have bought another one of these outfits. I don’t know if I have patients to figure out how to get this off.”

“How about you let me do it?” I reach behind me and unbutton the back of the little jumper. Baekhyun watches closely as I slide the fabric off my shoulders allowing my breasts to be free. The second my chest is free his lips latch on to my collar bone, leaving hickeys across my chest. I’m going to tell him to stop and be patient but his hands find my breasts making only a moan come out of my mouth. He ruts against me making my thighs tighten around those sinful hips of his. “Give me a second to get his off.”

He growls against my neck but pulls away for a moment to let me do it. I shimmy it down my hips before kicking it off the bed. I open my arms wide, “Now you may continue.”

His lips resume their work on my chest, licking and sucking ever inch of skin. My fingers tangle through his hair, pulling him even closer. I’m so distracted by his tongue that I don’t notice his fingers sneaking up my leg until he has two wiggling their way inside me. I gasp at the sudden intrusion, but my hips react on their own, bucking against his hand for more.

“Daddy,” I moan clutching on to his hair tighter hoping he won’t tease me.

He chuckles, “Yes Baby?”

“More,” I demand a he tow fingers pump in and out of me lazily.

“What do you want more of? I’m not a mind reader, you need to use your words.”

“Daddy please fuck me.”

“Such crude language for such a little girl.”

I groan as he crooks his fingers just right, “Pretty please Daddy Baekhyun, make love to me.”

“Of course Baby,” He purrs taking away his fingers. I whine at the loss but he shushes me. “I’m just taking off my pants, no need to whine.” With those discarded he hooks my knees over his shoulders and positions himself at my entrance. “You have no idea how beautiful you look just like this,” He hums in approval. “I can’t wait to wreck you even more.”

He slams into me, having me basically folded in half allows him to plunge deep into my heat, hitting me in the right spot that has me seeing stars. He only gives me a moment to adjust before he is slamming into me at an almost animalist pace. His hands are holding my hips so tight I wouldn’t be surprised if there were bruises tomorrow but right now it feels so good.

“How do you feel so amazing?” He groans. “You feel even better than I remember, how did I go a whole  year with out you?” He manages to go even faster, “I can never go without you again.”

The knot in my belly continues to wined it’s self tighter and tighter, my toes curl as I close my eyes and prepare myself to go over the edge.

“Tell me how much you need me,” He demands.

“I always need you,” I mumble, blinded with pleasure.

“Tell me how much you missed me.”

“So much!” I half scream as he thrusts become rougher.

“Tell me how much you-“ He doesn’t have time to finish before we are both coming, our voices mix together in pleasure. He lets my legs fall off his shoulders to rest on either side of his hips as he leans forward and buries his face in the crook of my neck.

I wrap my arms around him and whisper softly into his ear, “I love you more than you will ever know, don’t question it. I love you Baekhyun.”

He wraps himself tighter around me, cocooning me in his warmth, “I missed you so much. Please don’t ever leave us again, I couldn’t handle it again.” He chokes on his words, I feel wetness against my neck. He’s crying. “I love you.”

I hum, “I love you too.”


A/N: This is just a personal note from me to you readers, you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to but I hope you enjoyed the chapter! So as I wrote this chapter I remembered I was going to write something very similar in the early chapters of Good Girl, she was going to give the boys a fashion show when she first saw her closet but I took it out but the point is I realized how far the story has come since then and I jut want to thank you all for reading and supporting me! I hope you enjoy the rest of the story and all the other stories I post! Again thank you for reading and have a good night!

“Well, you sure did it now! I told you we should have bought me maternity shirts the other day! When my tits went from Ds to these Hs in just 6 weeks, I knew you had pumped me full! I hope you’re ready to show off your baby making fiancé to everyone!”

Your dick swelled as you stared at her. The night you proposed, you had insisted on fucking her without a condom. She had moaned into your ear that “you better be sure.” You thought she was just giving you a normal warning. You had no idea she meant that she knew she was hyper fertile. That she had 26 siblings and that no women’s pregnancy had been less than twins in her family for the past 4 generations.

Now you were trying to find 10 white strollers for the wedding. What she didn’t know was that you were planning on her waddling down the isle with your next litter.

When I was your man

Originally posted by cashtonkinks

Summary: Calum has lost the love of his life and he writes her one last letter. 

A/N: Right now I’m just posting my old pieces, but If any of you are triggered by angsty one shots, you probably shouldn’t read this…  Also, it’s written over Bruno Mars’ song, if any of you were wondering xx.


Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now

Our song on the radio, but it don’t sound the same


 ”Dear Y/N.

I don’t really know why I’m writing you this letter, or if you’re even going to read this, because even though it was never my intention, I hurt you. And I can’t tell you how sorry I am. And I know that it’s selfish of me, sending you this letter and offering you my heart when all I ever did was breaking yours, but without you I am weak and I don’t know how to be strong again without you by my side. Without waking up to your beautiful sleeping face every morning, because the bed that we bought together when you moved in feels too big now that you’re not here, even though I always complained there wasn’t enough space for two in it.

I just really miss you, you know? I miss your weird laugh, your soft hair between my fingers, the cute little eskimo kisses we shared late at night, the way you nuzzled up to my chest when you were tired after a long day at college and all the times we drove in your old car, our song came on the radio and you started singing on the top of your lungs, even though it sounded really bad, and we just felt so alive. But most of all, I miss the way you made me feel. The calmness that floated through my veins when I was in your presence made me feel at home, no matter where I was. And I know it sounds fucking sappy and cliché, but Y/N you are my home, and now that you’re not mine anymore, it feels like I’m aching for something that will never come my way again: your love. However, missing you for the rest of my life and watching you with another man is better than being with someone else, because no one compares to you. Not even a single bit.”

Keep reading

2

Productive nap time.

Prepped and marinated some chicken for tomorrow’s dinner as we’re going to my partner’s friends house and having a “curry off.” Am nervous about having Evelyn out late but that’s another story.

Sorted through Evelyn’s 000 clothes and put away the vast majority of her newborn items.

the perilous seas of knitting - Captain Swan

for @swanemma, happy birthday! (thanks for the gif!!! I love it) 


(this fits in the lumpy purple hat universe, so Emma’s knitting a hat for the dragon queen baby)

“Are you binding eldritch creatures or fishing?” he asks from the doorway. 

Emma jolts, dropping her knitting. “Shit, no, sorry.” Only looking up then she realizes that her purple and red yarn is all over the floor. So is the green, which rolled away after she used it to make a leaf. A lumpy leaf that barely looks like anything. She should start over, again. 

Looking at the sad little excuse for a hat, she rips out the needles and starts undoing it. 

“Steady there,” he says, “I was just worried about the yarn on the floor.”

“No, no it wasn’t right.” She shakes her head, still unraveling what she worked on most of the afternoon. “I’ll just start over.”

Killian rescues the ball of green yarn, catching it with his hook while walks to the sofa. “I thought that one was all right.”

“It had a hole.”

“I’m sure some fashion of baby hats are allowed to have a hole. It’s not as if an infant will notice.” He drops the green ball of yarn next to her on the sofa and starts rescuing the red one, winding that back up to. “Whatever you make, love, they will adore it.”

“I should have just bought one.” Emma rips and rips until all that’s left is the little purple loop she made to start with. Now she has to cast on all over again. Sixty little stitches, that she’ll have to count and get right, and it’s all a mess. 

“You didn’t want to buy something.” He drops to the sofa beside her, winding the mess of purple yarn around his hook, forming it slowly back into a ball. His hands move so quickly, so sure, because yarn is just like rope and his fingers know the way. “Which would be fine. Regina and the dragon won’t mind at all. You’ve been so good to them.”

“Having a baby is a big deal.” She snuggles closer to him, counting in her head while she casts on. “Like, it should be. It should be a happy thing.”

“They are happy.” He kisses her cheek. “Radiantly so, and the little one’s very strong. I’ve felt her kick.”

“Part dragon.”

“Aye, love.” He pauses, smiling at her, the ball of purple yarn still wrapped around his hook. “What is it that troubles you?”

“She never had this,” Emma says. “Thirty-one, thirty-two,” she mutters to herself, not looking at him because he’ll see. 

“Maleficent?” 

“She never got to be with Lily, at all. My parents took her away.” The last part, that her parents didn’t think she could be good, that they felt they had to change her. 

“Which is not your fault, you weren’t even born.” His arm slips around her shoulders and she snuggles closer. 

“But they ruined Lily’s life for me, and Maleficent’s, and now she gets a second change with Regina and this baby and the least I can do is make the baby a damn hat without any holes in it.” Emma keeps counting, whispering numbers under her breath as if this is part of her penance for being dark enough that she had to be saved. 

“All right.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he nods to her. “How can I help?”

“More coffee?” Emma tilts her head at the empty cup on the table. “Maybe pick a movie.”

He chuckles. “Or you’ll subject me to Pirates of the Caribbean again?”

“I like listening to you list the inaccuracies in procedure and sailing.”

“It’s a right mess, even if it is a pleasant distraction.” He rubs her arm. “They will love what you make. I assure you.”

“Thanks.” Fifty-eight, fifity-nine, sixty. That’s a start. She can do this. Fifth time has to be the time it works. 

“Hey.” he holds up the ball of purple yarn and meets her eyes, all sincere and soft. “Little dragon baby’s going to be so cute in her hat.” Killian kisses her once more and then he’s gone to the kitchen, leaving her with the yarn and the potential for a hat that isn’t lumpy this time. 

Maybe. 

When spending on things other than books.
  • Me: *pays $50 for a dress*
  • Me: Damn, that could have gotten me two hardcover books.
  • Me: *pays $15 for a meal*
  • Me: $15, are you kidding me?! I could have gotten a paperback for that!!!
  • Me: *basically calculates each opportunity cost in terms of book prices*
  • Me: What a terrible waste of money, I should have bought a book instead. Now I have no money.
  • Me: Goes to a bookstore and spends $200 without batting an eye.