bestfriend!luke and you had always shared everything; clothes, food, secrets, tips on how to not make hair frizz in the humidity… anything under the sun. whenever you two were in the same vicinity, you were attached at the hip, always smirking in each others direction when someone says something that could be interpreted as the slightest bit dirty, laughing into the crooks of your arms when something reminded the two of you of inside jokes, like when there was the slightest mention of stargazing or constellations, you and luke burst into simultaneous laughter thinking about that one night when you got shitfaced together and laid on the uneven wooded planks with a half a bottle of vodka laying between you guys just on the edge of the woods by Luke’s parents lake house; staring up and counting the stars with your giggles filling the silence as luke wiggled close to you and repeatedly insisted “i swear on my life, y/n, that right there…” grabbing your finger and pointing to the right, “yeah right there, the stars spell out your name.” it was calm and it was pure, what you and luke had, something others envied and maybe didn’t quite understand because everything just flowed naturally between the both of you: the way you’d bite his shoulder when he was just being a little bit too much with his attempts to annoy you, the positions you’d find yourselves in during long car rides (usually, you just slept on each other’s shoulder, one head on top of the other. but there were times when you could tell exhaustion was eating away at your best friend so you offered your thighs as a pillow, his legs curling up into a ball as he tucked one hand beneath the warmth of your upper leg and made himself right at home, pressing the back of his head against your chest with a cheeky smirk plastered on his face, prompting an eye roll from you. it was when he was asleep [or was he?] and you laid your arm across the expanse of his shoulders that he uncrossed his arms from where they were wrapped around his body and instead cocooned your arm in his, one of his hands entwining with yours; pressing little circles pressing into the junction between your thumb and pointer that made you bite back a smile), the casual way one of you’d spoon feed a bite of their meal at a restaurant to the other simply because the latter wanted to try it… it just worked.
however, there was an layer of tension, an unsettling feeling that hovered over the both of you whenever someone asked if you were dating or one of your friends exclaimed “seriously, just get married already!” it was easily shaken off with a jesting laugh and an eye roll from the both of you with a quip of “this one? never” but the teases were continuous and unsaid words laid like a ticking time bomb between the two of you because yeah… you both found each other attractive (”seriously, i swear you’ve gotten hotter since the last time i saw you” “luke, you saw me last night” “i know! you’re like a fine wine that just gets better with age” “… lame”), there was genuine attraction and chemistry between you guys as well as an underlying current of sexual tension (i mean for godsakes, the kid was the first person you kissed and you gave a blowjob to [even if it took a lot of convincing and pleading on your part to let him let you “practice”]), but there was the possibility of being left with nothing when the inevitable end of something occured. so you were fine being luke’s best friend, even if his mom always set one extra plate at dinner for you (and made her disappointment known on the nights you were absent) and his father treated you like you were already his daughter and his brothers protected you like you were their own sister and his dog got more excited when you walked up to the front gate of his house than him… you were fine (you had convinced yourself), just fine, with being just friends with luke and living with a constant storm of “what if”s, “what could’ve been”s, and “what may never happen”s raging in the back of your mind.