at fifteen you will be so sweet and see no cruel in this awful world until you meet that boy with the bags under his eyes and that car he stole and you’ve always imagined your first boyfriend to be a good boy with a good family but you ended up falling in love with the boy who misses more classes than anything else, who hates his mother and doesn’t even know his father. at fifteen you were a sweetheart so in love with the world you were so optimistic. you met him at your first party you never had a taste of alcohol before he handed to you more shots of vodka than you could ever count but by the time you could remember anything you were in his car giving him a little bit more than just your first kiss. he wasn’t anything you’ve ever imagined, no one you ever thought would be the death of you. that one time became into an everyday, and i guess the more time you spend with someone you start acting like them. it went from skipping classes, failing tests, hating your mother, drinking drinking and more fucking drinking because he told you it would bandage the scars on your wrist and make you feel better. you would come home smelling like his hoodies that he gave you, thats all you would wear now and it was hard to tell if your breath would smell more like cigarettes or beer and your father warned you about him but all you could say is ‘daddy I’m so in love with him.’ you don’t know what love is until they leave you, they fucking leave you and your left crying on the bathroom floor every single night for what seems like just yesterday he left but your mom reminds you its been 6 months and your still hurt from the boy with the bags under his eyes you fucking swear he gets no sleep at night that how is it possible that he woke up one morning deciding he didn’t want you anymore. his bad habits soon became yours. now you are seventeen and you fall inlove with any single boy just so you have a new excuse to blame on why you want to fucking die when you break up but you and your mom know that you still want to die because of that same boy from that party that made you believe that if you drink enough beer it starts to cover up your scars and makes you fall in love but little did he know he was the one bandaging your scars and you were more in love with him than the alcohol or anyone else for that matter. you loved him more than yourself and now you know better. you only wish that at seventeen someone would have warned you that at fifteen you were going to meet someone that would alter your entire world and change the way you view people and live your life. you never love as strong as you do at fifteen when you’ve never been hurt before and you never fall as fucking fast as you do when your first love crashes his fucking car right into you and you feel like you’ve died ten times over, but no he never fucking hit you with his car fuck he never even hit you with a good bye it was just a ‘ill text you when i get home babe’ and you never got that text, i wish i could say your still making your way back home but that was two years ago and I’m almost 18 breaking other boys bones just to show myself that I’m as strong as you are. I’m starting to become a lot like the person who destroyed me, i lie through my teeth and spit out i love you to any boy just to make them fall in love with me but then i crash right into them and flip their whole world upside down when i leave them in tears but little do they know I’ve been counting down the days before i leave them just the way you probably did. for someone who doesn’t sleep anymore i woke up pretty fucking fast from my liquor filled evenings to just wake up and decide i was done with them the same way you were done with me so fast, my head is still spinning from the alcohol and i don't remember how i fucking became this monster but you become the things you love and god knowns i fucking loved you.  I'm hurting others to try and bandage the scars you left me with but i guess i have to learn that unless i heal from you i will always be just like you because you are all I’ve ever known and i can’t stop being like you because its the closest thing ill ever have left of you because you haven’t returned my texts from when i was sixteen kissing any boy pretending it was you.

fifteen through seventeen 


Age Difference Starter Sentences
  • "Are you even old enough to be here?"
  • "What did I tell you about coming here? You're too young."
  • "Age is but a number."
  • "Will you just drop my age and go on one measly date?"
  • "If I was just a few years older, I'd marry you."
  • "You can't tell anyone about this."
  • "You're too young for me."
  • "You're too old for me."
  • "Hey, I'm over 18. It's perfectly legal."
  • "My feelings for you mean more to me than your age."
  • "Ask me again when you're done with high school/college."
  • "I'm old enough to be your mother/father--okay, maybe not THAT old, but still!"
  • "This isn't a lifetime movie, I could get into some serious trouble."
  • "I didn't know you were that young!"
  • "So I may have lied a bit about my age.."
  • "This never happened."
  • "You're not being professional."
  • "I'm not a kid, you know. Stop treating me like one."
  • "So you like older men/women, huh?"
  • "Go home, your parents are probably wondering where you are."
  • "I'm a lot more mature than you think."
  • "I don't know if I can handle this."
  • "But think about it, in ten years it won't even look like that big of an age difference!"
HOROSCOPES FOR THE WEEK OF 4-19-15 - 4-25-15
  • Aries:You can't always make people accept your help. People are stubborn and even if your intentions are pure, they believe they are capable of doing it on their own. This is okay, let them have their moment.
  • Taurus:Your emotions are in turmoil this week, but now is not the time to break. These feelings aren't permanent, and expressing them now could lead to making the wrong decision.
  • Gemini:Feeling left out has left your self esteem in shreds, but you are worth more than what others think of you. It's okay to express your thoughts even if you think no one is listening to you.
  • Cancer:Everyone looks like they're on Cloud 9 except for you. Think about your recent actions and burdens you have, and ask for help in relieving them. Life can be simple if you want it to be.
  • Leo:My mother always told me, everything in moderation. And I always said, easier said than done. But keeping that proverb in mind this week might come in handy for some of you.
  • Virgo:You've been longing to be free for awhile, but you have never realized that it's your choice; its your decision. Whether you're caged or living life freely, it has always been your choice.
  • Libra:Keeping this project on the back burner of your mind isn't going to get you anywhere in life. Many opportunities to have fun this week will arise, but you have more important things to do.
  • Scorpio:Fairy tales don't always have happy endings, so make this short and quick before it all burns down.
  • Sagittarius:Your dreams are so realistic that you can almost touch them, but something is so elusive about them, that you almost don't want to achieve them. You have this goal on a pedestal, and you're making it larger than life.
  • Capricorn:Your week off is coming soon. You've been working hard for awhile, and you deserve a rest, whether it be alone time or a night out with friends.
  • Aquarius:Expressing your feelings has never come easy to you. Especially when someone seems insincere. Your suspicions might be right, refrain from opening up to this certain individual.
  • Pisces:Sensitivity has always been one of your defining characteristics, but this week you're ultra intuitive and alert. Separate concrete knowledge from intuition and work from there.

First of all, blue’s hair is always combed. Her hair is CURLY and her parents let her hair grow like they’re supposed to. Y’all sitting here like she’s supposed to have weave and perm slapped on her hair. Second of all, if we gon talk about a child’s hair, let’s ask kim and Kanye why north is always rocking a slick back comb over. Ever ask yourself why y’all think this shit funny? Maybe cuz y’all stuck on that Eurocentric bullshit and would rather laugh at a Black girl’s natural hair than acknowledge the fact that y’all don’t know how to deal with your own. Blue got more edges and hang time than y’all seen in years. Then when your shit gets to her, y’all gon be like “I don’t understand why this little Black girl hates herself and wants to look white.” Maybe because y’all been making fun of her Blackness since the moment she fell out of her mother. But how bout y’all try this one: MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS BECAUSE THESE ARENT YOUR CHILDREN. Y’all can miss me with that anti-Black bullshit. Keep that shit to yourself and stop perpetuating that shit on CHILDREN. 99% of the people making fun of blue’s hair are Black women and y’all need to ask yourselves why that is.

Made with Instagram

challenge: [1/10] female characters — Brooke Penelope Davis

Do you know what my mother said to me when I told her I wanted to start a company? She said your chances are one in a million. And I said maybe I’m that one, and she said you’re not. And she was wrong. And whatever she thought she saw in me, was wrong. Because I am one in a million.


I don´t understand why so much people is disappointed with the HIMYM finale. I don’t think Ted “betrayed” the mother, or that he never loved her.
Ted FINALLY finds the one, the mother, after struggling with his feelings for Robin and putting an end to them (as showed when Robin gets cold feet)

Ted leaves the whole Robin thing behind and stays with Tracy until she dies (i didn’t do the math but i think that’s more than 10 years), and after she dies he stays single for six years. 

Now, after six years of mourning, what is the problem with him hooking up with Robin? Why should he stay single the rest of his life? When Tracy’s boyfriend died the did some years of mourning and then SHE MOVED ON. Why Ted shouldn’t do the same?

Ted loves Tracy, she will always be his “the one”, but that doesn’t mean he has to stop his life, which he did for six years. What we watched was him moving on, like Tracy moved on when her boyfriend died, like Barney moved on when he divorced Robin, like Robin moved on when she realizes her feelings for Ted (lets not forget that both Ted and Robin want to be together in the end), like Lily and Marshall moved on and accept thing will never be the same. 

So stop rambling and rushing your comments. Process what you watched, remember the other things you watched, and you’ll see that it is deeper than “oh he was obsessed and he couldn’t let go robin”

Will You Stay? - Part 4 (Michael Clifford)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

A/N: So, part 3 got more notes than anything I’ve ever written lol and I just posted it a few nights ago. Everyone seems excited about it so instead of waiting until next weekend, I’ve decided to update it now. Happy reading! x

He called me ‘mommy,’” you whispered to Michael before you covered your mouth, feeling a little shocked. With the amount of time that you’ve spent with Noah and the fact that he didn’t know his real mother, you should have seen it coming, but you had no idea that he would think of you as his mother. Michael stared back at you, but the shock in his face was gone. You couldn’t quite read his expression. He looked upset, but he wasn’t. Maybe he was worried. 
Mommy,” Noah repeated, his eyes were open now as he rested against his father’s chest. “Can I please stay with you?”
You didn’t respond. You just stood there, looking at the little boy with sympathetic eyes. You didn’t know how to feel or what to do now that he was calling you his mother. Do you tell him that you’re not his mommy, or do you go along with it? What did Michael want? It was his son after all. You gave him a look that said: say something because I don’t know what to do.
Michael started. “I’m sorry, bud. We have to go home.”
Can mommy go too? I don’t wanna leave,” Noah whined. “I like being with mommy.”
You let out a breath as your hand dropped from your mouth when you saw that tears were beginning to form in Noah’s eyes. “You’ll see me tomorrow,” you pointed out, hoping it’d make him feel better. “I’ll see you first thing in the morning. I promise.”
No,” he cried. “I want to stay with you.”
We have to go, bud.” Michael picked up the bag that he had packed for him and took a step towards the door.
No,” Noah shouted as he reached for you, causing Michael to stop and let out a sigh.
He frowned at the boy in his arms, “Noah…”
“It’s okay,”
you breathed. “I… Just let me pack a bag. I’ll meet you at the house.”
Are you sure?” Michael whispered.
You nodded, running a hand through your hair. “It doesn’t seem like he’s gonna give up,” you whispered back. “I hate seeing him cry.” His brows furrowed and you went on, “Really, it’s no problem. Take him home and get him into bed, it’s late. I’ll be there soon.”
Okay.” Michael looked down at Noah. “Hey, did you hear that? She’s gonna meet us back at the house.”
Noah wiped his eyes as he calmed down and you smiled softly, “You have to go home now, but I promise that I will see you there, okay?”
Noah frowned.
Okay,” he said. 
You kissed his temple before Michael whispered, “Thank you,” and walked out the door.

After they left, you packed a bag then changed into your pajamas and brushed your teeth so that you wouldn’t have to do it there. The entire time, you were thinking. You didn’t really mind that Noah called you mommy because he was a good kid and if he needed a mother figure, you’d be happy to be that for him. You just wondered how it was affecting Michael. You didn’t know the story about why Noah’s mother wasn’t around or if she even still existed. You couldn’t quite figure out how he was feeling. What if he was upset and worried that you were going to replace Noah’s real mother and he didn’t want that for his son? That small part of you – the part that was worried about attachment – began to worry again. If Michael was upset about Noah calling you mommy then that meant things wouldn’t end well and Noah would have to deal with it, and Michael might have to let you go even if he didn’t want to. You grabbed your bag and walked out of your house, thinking that you should stop trying to read into it and to just wait until you and Michael get the chance to talk about it.

When you arrived at the LA home, you walked inside and saw Michael sitting on the sofa while watching TV, with Noah laying down beside him. Noah’s face lit up once he saw you and he got up from the sofa.
Hey,” you smiled as he ran towards you and you lifted him off the floor. “Why isn’t he in bed yet?” You asked Michael.
He didn’t want to sleep until you showed up,” he chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck.
Okay. Where are the others?”
Asleep. They’re all tired from that award show,” he answered as he turned off the TV. He walked over to you and grabbed your bag. “Go ahead,” he said, motioning up the stairs. You thanked him and made your way up to the bedroom.
I’m happy you’re here, mommy,” Noah mumbled.
You looked back at Michael, but he only nodded once which told you to go along with it. “Me too, bub.” You kissed the top of his head as you rubbed his back. 

While Michael went to the bathroom to get changed since he was still in his award show clothes, you set Noah down in the middle of the bed, tucking him in before you laid down beside him. You told Noah that he could go to sleep now and once he said his goodnight, you pushed his hair back with your fingers and continued to run your hand on the top of his head, soothingly to help him fall asleep while you hummed a lullaby. By the time Michael returned, Noah was already asleep. You noticed that he had taken a shower because his hair was wet, and that was the reason why he had been gone for a while. “Is he asleep?” Michael asked and you nodded. He kissed the top of Noah’s head before getting into the bed carefully to avoid waking him up. Once he was settled, he just stared up at the ceiling. You looked back and forth between Noah and Michael, seeing the resemblance which made you smile a little. You could tell that something was on his mind so you asked him, “You okay?” He looked at you and nodded. “I’m fine,” he reached over and kissed your forehead, “Goodnight, Y/N.”

You woke up the next morning around 7 and saw that Noah was still asleep beside you, but Michael was gone. You slowly got up from the bed and walked across the room, looking back to make sure that he was still asleep before shutting the door quietly. As you walked through the hallway, you saw that all the doors were closed which meant that the other boys were still sleeping. The whole house was quiet while you walked down the stairs and through the house. You found Michael sitting in the kitchen with a beer in front of him. You walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, making him look up at you.

A little early for a beer, isn’t it?” You raised your eyebrows and walked over to the other side of the table, sitting in the chair across from him.
Michael chuckled before asking, “Is the little guy still asleep?”
You nodded, biting down on your lip.
He took a swig of his beer and sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“About what?”
You asked, confused.
Last night. I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable–”
You cut him off instantly, “It didn’t. I just didn’t know how to react when he was right in front of me.”
Michael nodded and looked down.
I don’t mind, actually. Do you?”
He sat still for a few seconds then finally shook his head.
You paused for a moment, thinking back to your thoughts from last night. “Michael… What happened?” You started carefully. “With Noah’s mother?” When he didn’t answer right away, you continued, “I’ve only ever heard you say that she isn’t around, but you never said why. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but…” You didn’t want to push him because you didn’t know how sensitive he was to the topic. “He thinks I’m his mother,” you finished.
He didn’t answer. You both just sat in silence.

Her name is Jane,” Michael finally said, still looking down. “We dated for five years before Noah was born.” He scoffed as he leaned back in his seat, keeping his eyes on his hands that held the beer bottle. “Five fucking years. I loved her and I thought she loved me too… We were 19 when she found out she was pregnant. When she told me, she was scared, but I promised her that I would stay. I was going to help her raise our baby even with the busy schedule that I had. I told her that her and the baby would come first. I told her that I would never leave her or our baby because I loved them, because she was the one that I was going to marry someday… I made all of these promises to her, but she was never worried about me leaving.” His voice wavered and he paused to take a breath. “She was worried about how it would affect her life. She wasn’t ready to be a mother. For a while, she thought that she could be one as long as she had me. But after Noah was born, she realized that she couldn’t handle it.” Michael finally looked at you and saw you staring sadly. “She gave up. She gave up on me, but more importantly, she gave up on Noah. He wasn’t even three months old when she left… I came home one day and she just started talking about how she couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t handle the responsibility, she was 19, she wanted to live her life. I don’t know. She just handed me papers that gave me sole custody of Noah.” His eyes fell as the tears threatened to fall, “She told me that she didn’t want to have anything to do with me or Noah. She didn’t want to see either of us ever again. She left me with our son. She left her own son just because she wasn’t prepared,” he said as the anger began to build up inside of him, the tears falling from his eyes. He looked up at you again, “I have been hurting since the day she walked out. Even before Noah, we used to talk so much about our future together. We talked about getting married, how many kids we’d have, where we’d live. Jane told me that she wanted it all with me. But the moment she found out she was pregnant, she changed her mind. Our future together was already happening, but she wasn’t ready for it. I don’t even think she ever wanted it at all. I guess she didn’t love me as much as I thought she did.” Michael wiped his eyes, but it was no use. The tears kept coming back. “At first, I was so upset because she left our five years together behind so easily, like it meant nothing to her. But now, I’m more angry over the fact that she left Noah behind just because she was a selfish bitch. Because to her, our son – the most amazing little boy in this entire world – ruined her life,” he cried. “It makes me so angry because now he has to grow up without a mother. I didn’t know how if I could raise him without her. He needed her, but she didn’t want to be there for him. So I thought, maybe he doesn’t need her and from that day, I did everything that I could to be the best father for my son, so that I could fill the void,” he said, pointing to himself. “I just hate that one day, I have to explain to him who his real mother is. And when I see the pain in his eyes, for that, I will never forgive Jane. I can’t believe that she was someone that I once loved.”
You took a deep breath, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall. Michael really was an amazing guy and he didn’t deserve any of the shit that Jane put him through, you thought, and you didn’t like seeing him go through this pain.
But I do feel sorry for her because she’s missing out. Noah turned out to be a really great kid and she won’t get to watch him grow up into something amazing,” he shook his head. “Noah is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and as his father, I’ll always be there to protect him. But I don’t think I can protect him from this. He’s smart for his age, I think he could tell that there was something missing. When it came to his mother, I never knew what to say. One day, he said mama, but it was like a question. I told him that she wasn’t around, but he’d see her one day. He just turned two then, so I don’t think he remembers. I don’t know why I said that because Jane will never come back. I guess I just hoped that I would find someone who could fill the empty space. I’ve tried a few times before, but even though they could accept the fact that I was a father, I wasn’t sure if they were the right person, if I wanted them around my son. So there was always something missing. Then I met you…” He chuckled at how cliche his words sounded. “I don’t know what it is about you, but ever since I met you, I have felt whole again for the first time in years and Noah seems happier than he’s ever been. We’ve been though a lot and you have no idea how much you’ve helped us.”
You smiled a little, “That’s why you always thank me, isn’t it?”
He nodded, “You’re the one who filled the void that Jane left. My son has always been more than enough for me, but I can’t help but feel like things have been so much better with you here. Noah really likes you. And so do I. I loved Jane for five years, but it was never meant to be with her. But you? You really are something, Y/N.” He stared at you for a moment. “I really like you. I didn’t think Noah would ever call you his mother and I know this is a lot to ask, but…”
He took a breath and looked at you hopefully, “Will you stay?”
You stared at him for a moment before standing up. You walked over to his side of the table and pushed the beer bottle towards the center. You sat down on his lap and held his face in your hands, wiping away his tears. “Yes,” you whispered before pressing your lips against his for the first time. He put his arms around your waist and smiled in the kiss, deepening it as you grabbed the nape of his neck. You felt your heart beginning to race, and you felt his too. You both had been waiting for this moment and now, as your lips slowly moved against his passionately, you didn’t want it to end. You don’t know how long the kiss went on for, but when you broke the kiss, and as you caught your breath, you looked at each other with a smile. “I like you, too, by the way,” you said, biting your bottom lip.
Then why’d it take you so long to kiss me?” He asked jokingly, though he probably knew the answer.
For Noah’s sake,” you answered. “I didn’t want him to get confused if he saw us as something more than what we already were. I mean, he sees me as his mommy now, but I was afraid that if things didn’t go well, it would hurt you both. I wanted to give us more time before we moved onto something else.”
He smiled as if he was thanking you for thinking about his son’s feelings as well. And now that you finally kissed for the first time, there was only one question, “So where does that leave us now?”
You shrugged, “I don’t know, what do you think?”
“Be mine?”
He asked, “Be my girl?”
You nodded, “Of course. I would love to. I promise, I’ll be a good mother figure to Noah, and I’ll stay. For you both.”
He smiled widely, “You’re amazing, Y/N.”
you are an amazing father. Even though Noah almost got ran over by a skater under your watch,” you mumbled the last part, teasing him.
He laughed, “You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”
You shook your head.
And I still hate myself for it. But at least I met you, right?”
Yes,” you giggled, kissing him once more. 

Mommy? Daddy?” You suddenly heard Noah crying.
Someone’s awake,” Michael smiled.
You chuckled and stood up from his lap once Noah found you in the kitchen. “Hey, bud. What’s wrong?” You reached down and carried him in your arms. “Why are you crying?”
“I thought you were gone,”
he frowned at you and Michael.
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Michael kissed his forehead.
I promise, I would never leave you,” you smiled at Noah, then Michael, making them both smile back. You wiped the tears on Noah’s cheeks and changed the subject, “Have you eaten yet?” You asked Michael, assuming he had been up for a couple of hours. He shook his head. “Okay. How about some breakfast then? You want pancakes, Noah?”
Yes!” He grinned.
Okay,” you laughed. Michael took Noah from your arms and they both sat down at the island as you cooked breakfast.

Michael let you use anything from the kitchen so you ended up cooking some chocolate chip pancakes, eggs and bacon, making extra for when the other boys woke up.

Something smells good!” You heard Luke’s voice as he walked into the kitchen. “Y/N? What are you doing here so early?”
You turned away from the stove, “I’ve been here all night. Have some breakfast,” you offered, pointing to the food before turning your attention back to what you were cooking.
Okay,” Luke muttered as he looked at Michael suspiciously.
What?” Michael asked.
Nothing,” Luke chuckled as he grabbed a plate and took a seat.
A few minutes later, the other two boys came into the kitchen.
Oh,” Calum said a bit surprised, “Morning, Y/N.”
Yeah, morning. You made us breakfast?” Ashton smiled.
Yeah, have a seat. Enjoy,” you nodded towards the island.
Aw, that’s sweet of you,” Ashton said.
These are the best pancakes ever,” Luke said with a mouthful of pancake, making you laugh.
Don’t eat them all!” Calum shouted when he saw that there were only a few left. He sat down beside Luke and slapped his hand away from the plate before he could take another one.
Don’t worry, there’s enough for everyone,” you laughed and set another plate of pancakes in front of them.
Did you stay the night, Y/N?” Ashton sat down, noticing your pajamas.
You nodded.
Ashton and Calum then looked at you and Michael with the same suspicious look that Luke had just a few minutes ago, making your brows furrow as Luke smirked.
Michael glared, knowing what they were all thinking. “No,” he answered before they could even ask. “We did not,” he said firmly.
You rolled your eyes as you caught on, “You guys are idiots.”
“Just saying,”
Calum snickered. “What other reason would you have to spend the night?”
Guys, come on.” Michael sighed and when they all turned to him, he pointed at Noah.
Oh, okay. Sorry,” Luke looked at you.
You shrugged before turning around again. You took the pans that you had used from the stove and put them in the sink.
Babe, I’ll take care of that,” Michael said, standing up. “Have some breakfast now.”
Okay,” you smiled before taking a seat beside Noah and when you looked up, the boys were staring again. “For crying out loud, what now?!”
“’Babe’?!” They said simultaneously.
You shook your head and let out a sigh.
Since when was Y/N ‘babe’?” Ashton asked Michael.
This morning,” He answered.
Oooh, are you sure nothing happened last night?” Calum joked.
Oh come on, shut up and eat your food!” You chuckled.
What are they talking about, mommy?” Noah asked.
“’Mommy’?” Luke dropped his fork and looked at you.
I swear to God, guys,” you rolled your eyes again, letting out a short laugh. “Stop looking at me like that.” You grabbed a napkin and wiped some syrup off of Noah’s face before answering, “Nothing, bud. Your uncles are just weird. And annoying,” you mumbled the last part.
Hey!” They all said at the same time.
Kidding!” You laughed.

Thanks for the breakfast, babe.” Michael kissed your temple while you cleaned up the kitchen. Calum, Luke and Ashton left to go to the studio once they finished breakfast and Noah was playing in the living room.
You’re welcome. Can you believe how surprised the boys were when they realized we’re together? Like they didn’t see it coming,” you chuckled.
I know,” he laughed. “But I’m glad we are,” he smiled. “Together.”
Me too!” You wrapped your arms around his neck, reaching up to kiss him.

It’s been a few months now since you and Michael started dating and things seemed to be going really well. Everyone, especially the boys, were very supportive of your relationship. The boys knew what Michael had been through in the past three years and now that he met you, they were extremely happy for him and Noah. They said that ever since he met you, they’ve noticed a big change in things, and they thanked you for keeping them both happy. You spent most of your nights at the LA home, but every once in a while, Michael and Noah stayed at your place. Your relationship with Michael was getting serious and even though you weren’t Noah’s biological mother, it still felt like you were a family together. Noah still called you mommy and you looked at him like he was your own son every time. Michael still couldn’t believe that you were together. Every time he looked at you, it was like you were the only one in the room, like you were the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid his eyes on. He was absolutely in love with you and he didn’t care if he fell in love too fast, he felt like the happiest and luckiest guy on the planet. Your heart still raced and you still felt the same butterflies and the same happiness as you always did every time you were around Michael. Maybe you could be in love with him too. Things were only getting better between the two of you and every doubt that you’ve ever had, disappeared. You and Michael were so absorbed in love and happiness, no one ever expected things to take a bad turn.

The band finished up the album and had a few more weeks left in LA. You were at the house, spending all of your time with Michael and Noah before they had to go back to Australia for a bit. You didn’t know how Michael was going to convince Noah to leave because the both of you knew that once he found out you weren’t going with them, he might start crying. You had a few ideas, but decided to deal with it when it happened. 

You were in the kitchen, preparing some lunch for everyone while the boys all sat in the living room playing video games.

Is anyone gonna get that?” You shouted from the kitchen when you heard the doorbell ring. The doorbell rang again and all you heard was the non-stop shouting from the boys as they played. Sighing, you walked out of the kitchen. “Do you guys not hear the doorbell?” You asked, walking past them.
Sorry, baby. Kinda busy here,” Michael said, keeping his eyes on the screen.
You shook your head, letting out a short laugh.

You opened the door and saw a girl who seemed to be about your age. “Hi, can I help you?”
She stared at you for a moment, not looking happy. “I’m looking for Michael.”
Your brows furrowed at her attitude. You looked into the living room and called out for your boyfriend, “Mike?”
He said back, his eyes still focusing on the game.
There’s someone here for you.”
Michael paused the game, which made the other boys groan, and he walked to the front door and asked as you stepped aside, “Who is–” He froze as he looked up at the girl and you stared at him confused. “Jane?”
Shit,” you heard one of the boys mumble, and your eyes widened slightly.
W– what are you doing here?” Michael said, nervously and in shock.
I’m here for my son.”

A/N: OKAY! I hope you guys liked it. Part 5? Comments would be lovely. x


[PART 5]

Straight Outta College: Proving Your Worth as a Young Woman Artist Without a Degree

by Lora Mathis

“fear of being tied down,” Lora Mathis

I have not been in college for two months and already I feel that any sense of possibility I had is disappearing. Browsing Craigslist for jobs, I see College Degree Required on every listing. One part of me stays motivated; I remind myself  that for creative opportunities, the quality of my work matters more than a degree. But there is a worry in me that sounds so much like my mother. 

Lora, what will you do in the fall? How are you going to feed yourself? Where will you live?

What about school?

When I was in eighth grade,I made an impressive list of universities to work on attending. Boston University. Yale. NYU. A family friend caught me clicking through a school’s website once and said, Well now, that’s ambitious. 

Ambitious was me at 14. Having just moved to Quebec, I started preparing to attend high school, telling my mother that I would have to homeschool myself in subjects that my small, rural school did not offer in order to get into a “good school.”

As of now, I have completed two years of general education courses at a community college in Southern California. Aside from a math course, I have all of the requirements to transfer to a four-year university. My plans have been to study English, with an emphasis in Creative Writing. However, as I fulfilled my transfer requirements in other subjects, I began to toy with the idea of studying Photography or Sociology. Having to complete courses in several different fields just to transfer works well for some students as it piques your interest in other fields and gives you the idea that opportunity is everywhere. This makes sense. But I can’t stop thinking What Am I Doing With My Life.

It feels like I have to graduate university in order to prove my worth. As if otherwise, everything I say and create remains undeveloped and therefore, illegitimate. Although, this might just be what it feels like to be a young creative woman. The degree does not matter. The work only half matters. I still have to prove I deserve to be listened to. Always.

The single creative writing course I took in college made me question if I really wanted to be taught how to write. I devoted four hours a week to workshopping other’s pieces as well as my own. Honestly, I wrote some strong poems when I was taking that class. But I also had to take criticism from folks who wanted to be anywhere but in class. Looking back, the best part of that course was that I met two of my closest friends there, who have since been editing my writing and offering suggestions when I need them.

Of course, that’s just one class. An entire program would offer more, I’m sure.

Poetry, to me, is a private act in which I shed a layer of myself and relive everything I’ve ever felt. I write poetry because I cannot carry all of these thoughts inside of me. They need room to breathe. The thought of entering into an academic poetry program scares and excites me. In my head, I weigh the pros and cons. The pros would be building a writing community and learning from my peers. I want that. I want to be pushed in my work and given criticism that allows me to grow. I want the work I create to be taken seriously, and getting a degree is a stamp of professionalism. But the cons are that I do not want to grow as an artist inorganically.I don’t want to write simply because I want to get a good grade. I don’t want to change my voice to suit my professor’s preferences.  

At times, school feels like a chore. There have been many times when I have questioned if I was going to school for myself or someone else.

Right now, I have as much education as my mother. She got pregnant and dropped out of school to take care of her children–namely, me. She calls me almost everyday to ask about school. If you don’t go to school, she says on the phone, I’ll die.

I try to tell her that I am not dropping out, I just need to have concrete reasons for going. I am not sure what I want to study. I want to move around before I commit to a two or three-year program. I understand what a privilege it is to be able to go to school, but I need to make sure I will be in it for reasons other than making my mom happy. I deserve to be happy too.

There’s also the concept of money. Higher education in America is unattainably expensive for a lot of us and even though my family is helping me out, my throat goes dry when I think about how much it will cost. Why is college seen as a social requirement if most people cannot afford it? My friends who went straight to four-year universities after high school are going into serious debt to get their Bachelor’s Degree. They try justify it, talking about their college experience, the teams they’re on and the events that their school throws. All I can think about is, money money money.

I’m not in school right now because I have no idea what I am doing with my life. This is about as much as I’ve figured out: I want to create. I want to foster a strong community around me. I want to present social inequalities through art. I want to learn about the world around me. I want to grow as a person and artist.

The time I have spent in college helped me do all of this. The classes I took pushed me creatively and presented me with new information. I learned how to work in the darkroom and use a large format camera. I learned about love and the social attitudes of sex. I learned that 95% of the ocean remained unexplored. Two years since I enrolled, I feel sharper and more developed. But a part of me wonders if this growth would have occurred whether or not I was in school. I want to keep exploring.

When my mother calls me tomorrow morning to ask what I’m doing and if I will be in school, I will say the same thing I have been saying for the last two months. Mom. I’m not sure. You always say that you are not a complete person until you are in school and that I need to get a degree to be taken seriously, but you don’t recognize my goals. I want to grow as a creative person and be recognized for what I make, and right now, school seems like it’s just taking up a lot of my time. I’ve been in school for sixteen years and want to try something else for a little bit. Let’s call it a hiatus.  

She will say, I think you’re making a mistake.

So I’ll sit myself down and take a deep breath. I’ll tell myself:

Hey, if you’re not in school, it’s okay. You’re not any less of a person. You’re not inferior in intelligence. Your skills are not useless. It is not the degree that matters for creative opportunities. It’s the quality of the work. Put yourself out there. Build a community with creatives around you or online. Collaborate with other creatives. Try new mediums. Create work which scares you. Get involved in shows. Submit your work to magazines and contests. Know that a large number of people are in college because they have the financial means to do so and because they do not know what they’d do otherwise. It’s not stupid to try something other than what is presented to you.

It’s brave.

Lora Mathis is a poet and photographer from San Diego. Author of the poetry collections “bigger bolder less pathetic” and “i forgive everyone,” she also co-runs the zine press ink/paper press. Her photography and poetry has been feature in The Fem Lit Mag, Words Dance, and Vagabond City Lit. She currently lives in Portland, Oregon, where she works for Where Are You Press. Where Are You Press will be publishing her latest book,The Women Widowed to Themselves, in Summer 2015. 

Happy birthday Rouge sinpai!! Omedetou~ ov<

You deserve all the drawing given for your birthday because you are admirable!

You make me smile when I am sad because you’re very funny and  enthusiastic. 39 very much!! >v<

You are more useful than my anti-depressant! XD 

I hope for you the best because you deserve it, (sorry for my bad english)

Et,  Bonjour de la france!

(Ps:my mother is in morocco right now, so not far away you ^^ and the birthday of my brother is one day next yours! So today)

Daisku dayo!! <3<3

Hawke: Your measures have become more extreme over the last three years.

Meredith: And you could do better?

Meredith: How well did you guard your own mother? Did she not die at a blood mage’s hands?

Hawke: Leave my mother out of this!

Meredith: Cold corpses speak louder than abstract freedoms, do they not?

Meredith: As long as that’s true, Kirkwall needs its Templars more than it needs a new ruler.

Meredith is incredible.

1) Leandra Hawke’s death was a pretty epic Templar failure. Exactly one Templar suspected that a blood mage serial killer was responsible. Emeric was mocked and dismissed by his fellow Templars, and eventually ordered to cease his investigation by Meredith herself. Meredith actually wrote a letter to Quentin’s apprentice, apologising for the inconvenience, because Gascard DuPuis is a nobleman, and doesn’t fit her idea of a blood mage.

It wasn’t Hawke’s job to ‘do better’. It was Meredith’s. Emeric seems to have been out of step with Meredith’s regime. He could talk about his missing mage, Mharen, as a person, and thought it unlikely that she’d run away. Hawke first encountered him in Darktown, trying to talk to people, and he spent years meticulously building his case. Meredith’s favoured officers are bigots, thugs and bullies, not investigators. She has pushed out the kind of people who might do some good against genuinely criminal mages in favour of people like Karras, Alrik and Cullen. She has already failed at the thing she is now claiming to be best qualified to do.

2) ‘Abstract freedoms’. I’m not entirely certain what Meredith would call a concrete freedom, if what Orsino and his people are fighting for is abstract.

I have heard that in the Kirkwall Gallows, mages are locked in their cells with barely room to stretch, let alone exercise. I can promise you that any mage of the Anderfels would be stark raving made after a week of such treatment. We Anders are not a people to sit idle. Besides, fitness of body builds the strength of the mind. How can you stand against demonic possession if you’re never given a chance to sweat?

No Idleness for Mages, World of Thedas II

Under Meredith, freedom was a cruel dream for Kirkwall’s Circle mages. They were often locked in their cells, watched night and day by templars who were told any step out of line was suspicious. All those young magelings, told that magic was a curse, that they were dangerous, and that they had to be shut indoors all their lives looking out through those windows. Some went mad. Others, mad or not, tried jumping.

Paper and Steel

As knight-captain, Meredith proposed several changes to the administration of the Gallows, resulting in greater efficiency and a more orderly schedule for the mages. A structured environment and predictable routines led to calm, she would argue. It also made it much easier to detect anything that was out of the ordinary. Meredith’s case was so persuasive that her recommendations were put into practice almost immediately, and Knight-Commander Guylian began seeking her out for counsel in other matters.

World of Thedas II

Maud was the first, and others followed. One or two a year, and then more, as the years went by and the Templars tightened their grip on the Gallows. Every time a mage died by their own hand, Orsino would hear Maud’s final words to him: “This is no life.” The Templars didn’t seem to care about the suicides. Most had the courtesy to say nothing at all, but some would snigger when they thought no one was listening. “One less to worry about.” “The only good mage is a dead mage.”

World of Thedas II

The mages are not free in the grimmest and most literal sense. They are confined. Often that ‘confinement’ is to small cells with barely the room to move about. When they are not in them, they are kept to strict schedules. Nor is this some new thing, the result of red lyrium – Meredith began implementing her system while she was still a knight-captain. There are mages who have grown up in that tower, with no sense of what it means to make even the smallest choice for themselves – think Emile de Launcet.

Add to that the abuse they suffer – in ambient dialogue you can find references to Tranquility, beatings, rapes and starvation, and from the references above verbal abuse just seem to be a matter of course – and it’s hard to see anything abstract in the situation at all.

It is completely normal for mages to leap to their deaths from the Gallows’ windows, because that’s the only route to freedom they can see. Apparently ‘cold corpses’ are really fucking quiet when they belong to mages.

3) It is noteworthy that Meredith frames the Templars and Viscount situation as an either/or choice. Now, I personally believe the Templar Order should be dismantled and every one of its members investigated to determine whether they have abused their charges, but the simple fact remains that most places in southern Thedas do have both a government and Templars. That’s … normal.

The last ‘real’ Viscount, however, did attempt to have the Templars expelled from Kirkwall. He had good reason – they were acting as agents of the Orlesian empire and attempting to force him to allow Orlesian ships passage through Kirkwall’s waters – but he lost the fight, to Meredith Stannard. A new Viscount might not actually attempt to have the Templars thrown out (my Jo would love to do it, although that said she doesn’t really want to be Viscount), but they would certainly attempt to curtail the Templars’ powers. Every step Meredith has taken in her career has been to increase Templar power in the city. Now that they are ruling it directly, it’s impossible for her to step back. If there were a Viscount, she would have to relinquish control. Since she could never do that, she would have to fight the Viscount. Someone would win, and Kirkwall would have either a new ruler or Templars. Not both.

Drarry + Lucissa headcanons for @ilvermourn

• Okay so Narcissa and Lucius have always known Draco is hella in love with Harry.
• And after the war they don’t care anymore, they want their son to be happy after everything they unwillingly put him through.
• And Narcissa actually adores Harry?
• He’s so polite and kind and he’s kind of scared/careful around her which she loves.
• Also he can’t stop thanking her for saving his ass during the war.
• Draco’s embarrassed as hell though.
• “It’s like my boyfriend loves my own mother more than me!”
• Lucius fully agrees.
• “Draco, tell Potter to stop being obsessed my wife.” “Tell your wife to stop being obsessed with my Potter.”
• But they also see their loved ones are happy. Narcissa smiles more often after her sister’s death, Harry stops being scared.
• Though the suggestion of meeting the Weasleys did not fall well with Narcissa.
• And Lucius also kind of starts caring about that boy?
• Because now he thinks about it that boy apparently grew up in a muggle variation of his wife’s household.
• And he kinda realizes maybe that’s why they bond so easily. Narcissa understands the abuse this kid came from.
• So he sits down with Harry more often, eventually teaches him about the different kinds of whiskey.
• Harry just pretends to be interested.
• Draco is so relieved his parents like Harry, and so happy everyone is becoming comfortable with him living at Malfoy Manor.
• Lucius and Harry talk about how they adore Narcissa and Draco. *insert embarassing stories*
• Narcissa laughs with both Draco and Harry about their ridiculous husbands.
• “And the time they spend on their hair, can you believe it?”
• Potters and Malfoys being a cute family okay

I’m going to make more posts about this.

Don’t think of the trials in your life (‘balaa’) as just a ‘test’ in the human form. Allah is not like a professor who hands you a test, moves away and just watches from afar to see how you’ll do. Allah is our murabee—the One who raises us with more mercy than a mother raises a child. The Prophet (pbuh) tells us that when Allah wills good for someone, he sends them ‘balaa’ (trials or tests). When Allah wills good for us, He purifies us. That is why each person is tested in what they love most. In other words our greatest possible ‘competitor’ in our love for God is what is withheld or must be sacrificed. This is the purification process because it cures the heart of competitors. Why was Prophet Ibrahim (AS) asked to slaughter the most beloved thing to him? Did Allah actually want him to *kill* his son? No. He didn’t kill his son. He killed the attachment. By being willing to sacrifice what he loved most, he had slaughtered any possible competing love. Allah was raising him, purifying him and elevating him. Allah tell us, “By no means shall you attain righteousness unless you give (freely) of that which you love.” (3:92)

Yasmin Mogahed

Originally found on: beautifulpatienceforever

You were already in a prison. You’ve been in a prison all your life. Happiness is a prison, Evey. Happiness is the most insidious prison of all. Your lover lived in the penitentiary that we are all born into, and was forced to rake the dregs of that world for his living. He knew affection and tenderness but only briefly. Eventually, one of the other inmates stabbed him with a cutlass and he drowned upon his own blood. Is that it, Evey? Is that the happiness worth more than freedom? It’s not an uncommon story, Evey. Many convicts meet with miserable ends. Your mother. Your father. Your lover. One by one, taken out behind the chemical sheds… and shot. All convicts, hunched and deformed by the smallness of their cells, the weight of their chains, the unfairness of their sentences. I didn’t put you in a prison, Evey. I just showed you the bars.’
‘You’re wrong! It’s just life, that’s all! It’s just how life is. It’s what we’ve got to put up with. It’s all we’ve got. What gives you the right to decide it’s not good enough?’
‘You’re in a prison, Evey. You were born in a prison. You’ve been in a prison so long, you no longer believe there’s a world outside. That’s because you’re afraid, Evey. You’re afraid because you can feel freedom closing in upon you. You’re afraid because freedom is terrifying. Don’t back away from it, Evey. Part of you understands the truth even as part pretends not to. You were in a cell, Evey. They offered you a choice between the death of your principles and the death of your body. You said you’d rather die. You faced the fear of your own death and you were calm and still. The door of the cage is open, Evey. All that you feel is the wind from outside.
—  Alan Moore, V for Vendetta

This is a story about two people sharing one body. Maybe even three people. Or four.

Back in the late 19th century, a German scientist named Georg Schmorl made a remarkable discovery: Cells from a baby can hide out in a mother’s body, after birth.

More than a hundred years later, scientists are just beginning to figure out what these cells are doing. And their findings may have implications for how cancer and autoimmune diseases affect women.

But the discovery also means something else. Something that’s a bit mind-boggling: You likely have cells from your older siblings in your body. And cells from your grandmother, maybe even your great-grandmother.

Fetal Cells May Protect Mom From Disease Long After The Baby’s Born

Illustration: Joseph Daniel Fiedler for NPR

Right before Gothel’s fall, Rapunzel reaches out trying to save her. I’ve probably spent more time thinking about that scene than I did explaining to my wife how those frilly Tangled panties got into my underwear drawer. See, for most of the movie, Rapunzel did not see Gothel as a villain. She saw Gothel as her mother, a person who has cared for her since she was an infant – and that’s what makes Gothel so evil.

She wasn’t your typical Disney villain. She had no magic powers or an army of evil minions. All she had was the complete control over one person, and she used it to make her kidnapped/adopted (kidopted? adoptnapped?) childlove her. So, even after Rapunzel saw Gothel kill the guy she fell for, she still didn’t want Gothel to die. That’s why Rapunzel reached out to save her. It might have been because of the overwhelming power of filial love, or it might have been due to severe Stockholm syndrome. In any case, that is A LOT of drama to squeeze into a half-second, and a definite step-up from the original story about a kid named after fucking salad.

5 Brilliant Moments You Probably Missed in Famous Movies