Hidden Behind Straightened Hair

Hidden Behind Straightened Hair | The fives times Dan’s hair was used as a joke to hide his insecurity about his sexuality, and the one time it wasn’t.| Phan | PG-13 | Homophobia, Bi-Erasure, 2012 Scenario’s, Curly hair/Straight jokes | 5,304 Words

Massive thank you to @ineverhadmyinternetphase​ for quite literally letting me force her to read over my shoulder the entire time I worked on this, and her endless support of both my take on 2012 events, and bi-erasure.

Honestly guys, this is the thing I am currently the most proud of ever having written, so please let me know what you think <3 I’m literally shaking as I post this. 

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Stop for a second and just imagine telling Combeferre that, at this moment, humans have 11 man-made objects in (or on their way to) interstellar space. Imagine telling Combeferre that the Pioneer plaques try to communicate through science and math, because the laws of science and math are universal. Imagine telling Combeferre that Voyager I is now 7.7 billion kilometers away from the Earth, broadcasting the message “We come in peace. We want to learn”. Imagine a world were Combeferre got to hear that.

anonymous asked:

Serious question, no hate. Why do you support recasts?

This is going to be a long ass post…

Everyone has their own reasons, I can only talk about myself, I don’t think the exact same circumstances apply to, for example, Admin C (who is taking a leave now due to personal reasons and might be horrified about the direct way I handle things but that’s a different story and we have different approaches to the subject, “C” it’s usually more “measured” and many times tends not to give a reply at all and just “post the confession” asking anons to reply for, or not posting any reply at all).

There are many reasons as to “why” I’m pro recast, personally. I was at the dawn of the hobby, I had the luck and fortune to have dolls when there was almost no information online (and the few there was on Japanese or Korean and there was almost no internet and obviously no “google translate” or apps, cell phones where only made for calling and texting, very basic texting I mean) and when there was Volks, Luts and a couple more, not the hundreds of different options we have today. I saw (no one told me, this I saw with my own two eyes) how DollZone sold recasts, and how legit companies closed due to poor management resources, or scam and screw a lot of people with events, quality, or regular orders all together. I was there when some declared “bankruptcy” after almost a year of taking orders and charging their clients in advance and never delivered a thing. I was there when some legit companies took from 9 to 14 months to ship the orders (when their regular time was 45 days to 3 months at most and never apologized or even sent a gift to the costumer, many times if you wanted to cancel the order they wouldn’t even give your money back and PayPal time for opening a dispute was “only 30 days” so you where out of any protection plan by that time), and all of this only if they shipped the doll at all, and they all came with a wide spectrum of very nasty defects or missing parts. I know, I wasn’t only there, I have legit dolls from well known companies that cost me $750 or more and they “forgot” to include important pieces needed to assemble parts of the doll itself or their full set.

Add to this that by that time there weren’t any options, I was often asked by SO many people “where” and “how” they could get the same doll as I, and I tried so hard to tell them and explain and it seemed like I was talking in chinese because yes!, it was hard as hell to get a doll, you had to deal with all the shit the legit companies just thrown at you, and on top of that be grateful that the company decided “to sell this to you” and have a smile on your face whatever happen. And looking at those faces I came to understand that what we where going trough was just insane. That the companies weren’t giving the dolls for free, they where charging a lot of money, and I remind you the currency exchange adjustment thing, because they where charging upon 3 times more for the same doll if the costumer was from outside asia, that it’s simple put discriminating costumers from the outside, or thinking we where too stupid to notice, and they actually got away with it for a lot longer than they should have.

Now when antis talk about dolls they talk about artist and pure souls, this artists got a hell of a lot more money than they should have done with the western world and gave us literally HELL most of the time, and we had to come up with the excuses for them and smile, like “well, this is Japanese so they don’t speak English, it’s my bad to have been born on the US” and all sorts of shit we somehow found an excuse for them! crazy right?, and then there was the “elitism”, people who only collected Volks and though everyone else was shit under their feet, or people who only have hi-end brands and start acting like the cheerleaders on a hischool class, and many other ways of discriminating people, human beings, who had suffered just to get a ResinSoul ¼ Song, and that this doll was priceless to them, they where treated like trash, like literally trash, the bottom of the worst of hell. They had to read daily insults from a lot of people they don’t even know, and their doll was cheap, but legit. They were told cheap bastards, that their doll wasn’t a real bjd, and that it was a piece of shit. they where told that if they didn’t had enough money to constantly buy clothing and props or wigs or shoes they where “bad doll owners” and made them feel guilty because they had a shitty “sock dress” and a “crayon faceup” or their dolls might be nude or wigless for months, and they also discriminated fur wigs as “cheap options for the cheap bastards” (thank God that didn’t last because I personally love fur wigs). And they weren’t allowed into “certain elitist meets”, or they secluded them pushing the person to be left alone in a table where no one else talked to them or interact with them.

Sure you might find people who says they never saw anything like this or that they never got any hate for owning a cheaper legit doll, but this I saw with my own eyes, I have literally no reason at all to lie, and I understand newer members of the community who jumped into the hobby after recasts where here, or older members who just want to forget that times, don’t talk about it, or maybe they where just extremely unique and actually never encounter the indescribable amount of shit I know there was back then. And I was powerless; I could do absolutely nothing, if a person wanted a doll and didn’t had the money to buy the ones I might be able to afford (since we are all different people and different lives) was Bobobie or ResinSoul, or Obitsu and Hujoo. The first two where considered cheap horrible quality options that will get you nowhere because the real community members should have +$500 dolls, and the last two weren’t even considered as bjds so you weren’t technically part of the community at all. I saw all this, I saw how people, real actually living people lives got ruined by the then called “elitists” and now called “anti recast” or “pro artists”, I was powerless, the only, and I mean THE ONLY source of information was Dean of Angels, and it was more like a exclusive country club where you weren’t able to do next to nothing without getting banned (unless you where an Admin or a personal friend to one). There where times when they banned real resin bjds (no excuse at all to justify it) from different companies (like 5stardolls) just because one of the admins “didn’t like the sculpt” and didn’t want to see that sculpt on their precious forum.

And I get it, its human nature to be a dick for money and to be a horrible person to cement your social status or busting our egos because “I have something you can’t have”, but let’s fucking face it for once, this has absolutely NOTHING to do about defending the artist rights. This has to do with the fall of the sales on the 2nd hand market (they used to charge you 5 times more for a used broken doll because “if you wanted that doll there where no options”, no recasts, you had to pay whatever price the seller come up with); Legit companies closed much more when there was no recasts at all than now, the hobby isn’t going to “end” because of recats (not more than all those artists playing music on your phone will go off business if you download a free MP3 or MP4), this are all, ALL fucking excuses to hate on others, what you lost with recast was sales on the 2nd hand market and the exclusivity of having something and brag about it because few others can have the exact same. So you ask me “why I’m pro recast?”, well, it’s a long story with a mix of shit and a ton of knowledge about what I talk about. In fact most legit companies have improved a LOT since they’re competing with recast sellers (some didn’t, like Fairyland, still have shit quality batches randomly, and Soom too among others, but hey! many did! they realize their needed to actually run a serious business, to care for their costumers, to have a better costumer service and deliver better quality products, to reply questions and messages, to solve problems, and yes!, they don’t do it for free, they make a LOT of money out of it!, enough to cover the loses and a lot more just for their pockets, and now they tend not to think of us like trash just because we where born on the wrong continent!). So you tell me “well then, how about small artists who don’t work for a big company and get paid for their work in advance?”, there is, and always will be an audience and a public for them. there will always be people who will buy legit and that can actually afford $450 for a 1/6 scale doll, but the ones who will NEVER be able to buy the doll at the “legit price”, are not going to “save for 50 years and then buy it”, no, that money, either it’s $100 or $50, is NEVER going to the “small artist” and his work, so the artist it’s not loosing any money because the people who buys a recast it’s doing it because it’s unable to afford the legit, and the ones who can buy the legit will not stop doing so! So again!, it’s NOT about the artist rights! And I’m fucking tired of antis using that excuse to actually hurt real people who have feelings, to ruin their lives and cyber bullying them like if they where mass murders, they’re not!, they’re not different from you and me, they’re people, who is honest and good and caring and sensitive, and sure there are assholes in all sides, but most people gets shit over a doll, an object, “art” if you like, not different from other forms of art like music and small studios, dvd movie releases made with every penny a group of friends can gather that are watched as torrents every day, and the designer clothing or the thousand other knockoffs you use, buy, eat and wear…. and then you tell me “but I never watched, heard, buoyed or wear a knockoff!” and I shall tell you, “lucky you that you can buy only legit, that still doesn’t give you the right to shit on other people who have less money or chose a different option”, and then you might also tell me “but they are thieves and this items are not necessary for living like food or shelter! They are doing it because they choose to be bad persons and deserve whatever it’s coming to them!”, first of all, let me clarify something, the recasts are a cheaper option, but are not FREE, you have to work, earn money, and pay for them, so “no, they’re not thieves”. Second, there are some people on this word who REALLY deserve whatever its coming to them, NONE of them are into doll, they’re mass murderers, rapist, racists, pedophiles, abusive partners on a relationship, …I can think a looong list about “who deserves to be treated as shit” and people who owns dolls, are absolutely not in that list, not even if they actually stole a doll directly from the Leonardo DaVinci studio, there is a very, extremely long list of people who are much worst, and antis focus their hate, time, and effort into dealing with doll owners when they could volunteer on a soup kitchen or anything else that might actually do some good to others. Now, about the whole deal with “this isn’t food, you don’t need a doll, don’t use your mental health as an excuse”, let me tell you, if you think “mental health issues” are “excuses”, then YOU should get checked by a doctor ASAP. Second, how much of a self centered ass you need to be to assume “it’s all about you” and “we are all like you”. We are not factory manufactured, many went to similar situations, some thrive and have a normal life, sadly, half of them committed suicide and are no longer with us. Same exact situation on two different people gives different outcomes. Not everyone has your strength and you might find that strength in a small insignificant detail, like a doll. I’m going to tell you a story of my personal life I never shared before because we are on anonymous mode and no one can trace me back to it because I never told anyone except my family (that’s not into dolls) and the other person involved who I shall not name in any way.

I have a friend who is now a proud mom of a 1yr old beautiful baby boy and it’s engaged with a loving partner. When I started protecting random people from hate, bullying and shit (courtesy of the anti recast community), I lost almost all of my ‘dolly friends’ because they “didn’t want to be associated with a pro recast”, but this girl stayed as my friend, and she wasn’t able to buy a legit from Volks (though Yahoo!JP), not to mention the sculpt she loved was sold out, and prices on the 2nd market where insane, and even if I helped her, I’m not rich myself, so even between two people gathering money it was nearly impossible to pay that much, for the only person who had it was charging over $2500. At this point you might be thinking “well, if you’re such a good person, then why you just didn’t gave her your doll?!” (got to love antis, they have a question for every detail no matter how stupid it is), and I didn’t gave her my own doll because I have a very strong bond to this doll and it’s based on my own OC from when I was really a very small child before I got rape at age 10 (happy?), it represents the innocence I’ve lost, so this doll it’s not “just a doll” I would be able to sell or give (unlike other dolls I do have but never bonded quite much with them). So I explain to her the ‘pros and cons’ of owning a recast, and knowing she was on a very delicate and bad situation at the time (for personal reasons) I made a lot of emphasis on the “bad side” of being insulted and bullied every day just for owning a doll. But she really, and I mean REALLY, needed “some joy” in her life, she wanted this doll more than anything (I had this doll, and she had meet ‘her’ trough me, and it hold a significant amount of emotional attachment since the same day she had lost a close family member on a hit and run car accident, we had spent the entire day on the park near her house taking pictures of this specific doll with this person she had lost later that same night) and no, she didn’t wanted another sculpt or a “cheaper option”, she adored my girl and wanted to have “one just like that”. She gave me part of the money (basically the cost of the recast), I put the shipping fees and other stuff I had to buy (like wig, clothing, eyes), and I made her an exact replica of my girl. I had more experience so I handled the entire thing and gave her the doll as soon as it was ready, I even did her faceup replicating the one my girl had and she was breathing life, she was the happiest person I have ever saw holding an object, she literally cried tears of joy that day because she had her doll and we had “twins”, and no, I wasn’t thinking “fuck her, this is my OC, mine only, you can’t have the same!”, no!, we are grown ups!, I made sure to buy all exactly the same for her and she called her the same name with the only difference of a single letter on it. But then, a few weeks later, as usual, all went to hell thanks to ANTIS. I’m not going into details, but she called me really late at night crying, she was considering taking her own life because she had posted a picture of her girl “somewhere where she wasn’t supposed to” without knowing and there was like 20 people she didn’t even knew sending her one hate message after the other, exploiting every little thing they could know about her life to make her feel like the worst human in this planet. Because she had a doll. Are we getting the picture here?, it’s a doll, a wonderful brave precious person was at the edge of committing suicide because anti recasters or “pro artists” didn’t liked her DOLL because it was a recast. Please, take a moment to wrap what I’m telling you around your head. Just do it, for me, just take 3 seconds and tell me if a human life is worth a legit doll, just tell me that. I remember I had no car so I jumped on a bus that took me forever to get to her and I was completely panicking because I didn’t knew if I should call 911 or just “get fucking there” as soon as possible all this while I had her on the phone, and by the time I got to her apartment it was a mess and she was barely able to open the door and I told her if she didn’t open I was going to call the police to kick the door down, and there was blood everywhere and I really don’t know how I did not to pass out because I tend to black out when I see blood, but we (me and her neighbor) called the ambulance (even if she didn’t want to), and that night we had to stay in the hospital so they admitted her in ER and I had to deal with the police and give a statement about and call her family and actually TRY to explain she wanted to die because OF A DOLL (try telling that to the police or the family of the person involved and see if they get it). I told her brother I needed to pick up my phone from her apartment (that I had left on the ground in the middle of this ordeal) and when I went there I also took her doll and the next time she open her eyes she saw this doll, and I told her she needed to be alive for her, because if she didn’t love her and care for her, everyone else will hate her, so “the doll needed her” and we cried a lot and I was able to convince her trough that same doll that she needed to stay alive and don’t do stupid shit anymore. And yes, it was hard and yes she had a strict psychological supervision, and yes, she recovered as much as one can recover from shit things that happen in this world, but to think every time I see her baby boy that that kid and her loving mother might not be here with us today because a group of assholes just decided to push her to the edge because her doll was manufactured on china and not japan… what else can I say, right?

And you might think I’m lying, that I’m making all this up because I’m “an evil pro recast who runs a confession anonymous blog”, and you’re a free person and you might chose to believe pigs can fly too, I really don’t care; But if you believe me, then that alone shows you how complex human life is, and how antis don’t know shit about anyone, and worst of all they think “they don’t need to know” before starting the stalking, the insulting, the bullying, and giving this or that person the worst time of their lives. We complain about students going into campus and shooting everyone and then killing themselves, we complain about hate groups and how some kid who just wanted to belong to something decided to go on a gang and ended up killing a mother of four and 25 to life in prison, when truth is, we, as a society of assholes, might be pushing this people to their limits and then “they did it because they wanted to, it’s their fault”, we say “yeah, she killed herself, what a looser” and we move on like there is nothing wrong and the actions we take are of no importance whatsoever. EVERY little choice matters, if we decide to be cruel or gentle about something, if we decide to understand that the other person it’s not a duplicate of myself, if we condole a recast, that it’s a doll, that it’s not hurting anyone specially artists, just the 2nd hand market stupid prices and our ego to be unique like if we where four.

So in few words, why I’m pro recast? well.., legit companies doing shit to their costumers for years + abusive elitists hating on cheap legit options and ruin peoples lives (now that I think of it, there was a time when it was also “forbidden” to do “hybrids” with one expensive head and a cheaper body, God lord, those times where crazy…) + people unable to get a doll they really like (or need, or want), and even if you think “it doesn’t make a difference” or “doesn’t care”, this is many times a lifesaver for many + elitists assholes becoming ““pro artists”” (when artists have nothing to do with) and again giving the worst of shit possible to anyone they think it’s not to their standards + “cult like” mind hive, inability to accept other people it’s different, and CONSTANTLY trying to “shape them” at your image of what’s right and what’s wrong + Antis deciding for people how they should spent their money, and how or when + + + + + a LOT of other endless things.

And the best part is, we can be here all day and you will NEVER understand a single word of what I’m telling you, because you’re an anti, you chose your side and whatever reasons, shitty or not, they make you feel just as comfortable as I feel myself being a pro recast and helping others getting a doll, might this be a expensive resin doll, a cheap resin legit doll, a recast, a vinyl doll a plastic doll or whatever the hell I can help them with.

Yes, I’m pro recast, and proud.

Admin O