and how did i remember this

The Arrangement (pt 10)

You woke up around 6 in the morning. Though you were incredibly tired, you had too much on your mind and sleep didn’t consume you like you thought it would. It was still dark outside at this time, and you were slightly hungry. Now that you were eating for two, you were eating more frequently. 

You were scared to go out into the kitchen though. What if Jimin was also awake? You weren’t ready to face him yet. There were so many things that he had said and you wondered how long he had his doubts about your relationship. Did he still love you? Did he still love your baby? 

You tried to calm down again. You sat down and thought about the situation at hand. If you were in his shoes, what would you have thought? It was a little ridiculous to plan for a birthday party about two months in advance, you had to admit it. But it was the only way you could pull off the party with your work schedule. You thought back to all the times you tried to hide your phone away from Jimin or closed your laptop when he came and sat next to you. I guess you really did seem suspicious. 

But did that warrant the things he had said. The hurtful things? If you were in his shoes…. you would have talked to him. You would have asked him straight up. Why? Because you love him and trust him. Sure, things were moving fast between you two, but didn’t he always assure you that he felt the same way you did? That you both were on the same page?

Clearly not. You realized that maybe he didn’t trust you as much as you trust him. So maybe your love him outweighed his love for you. So where exactly did that leave you and your baby?

You rubbed your hand over your growing stomach. You had been busy for the past few months sure, but your love for the baby grew each and every single second. When you first heard the heartbeat, you cried. You made the baby your number one priority. You still worked hard at work and tried to balance your new life. Clearly you didn’t do such a good job. But like you said, the baby was your first priority. You were determined to work things out with Jimin for the sake of the baby. But you still needed time to settle your emotions. You needed time.

Jimin had made his way back to his shared room with you after trying to get you to open the door. He felt terrible. He should have just talked to you first! He should have never doubted you. Why then, did he? He decided that it was because he was too afraid. Too afraid to lose you. And as these thoughts flooded his mind, he eventually fell asleep on the empty bed, wishing so much that you were there in his arms. 

When he woke up, the sun was shining and he turned to the clock. It was already 9! He jumped out of bed and quickly brushed his teeth. He ran out the room hoping to find you. Your door was open! He ran in, only to find it empty. As he walked back towards the kitchen, he noticed breakfast already on the table. So you were awake. Where the hell did you go on a Sunday morning?

A little note caught his eye on the table though. It read “I need time before we can talk about this. Please just give me that much”. He didn’t know how he felt after reading it. At least you were willing to talk to him at some point in the future. But he just wanted to hold you, hug you, and kiss you at this very moment. But he knew that he shouldn’t push you or his luck. So with some gratitude, he ate the breakfast made for him and sauntered back to his room, wasting his day away.

You went to your best friend, Suji’s house and decided to spend your day there. She could tell you were upset, and you finally told her everything. Everything from the beginning. About how the marriage was forced, how Jimin and you were so unhappy at the beginning of the marriage. Even everything that happened last night. 

To say that Suji was shocked was an understatement. She listened patiently and she was crying along with you by the time you were done. “How could you have not told me anything till now! You’re my best friend and I didn’t know you were struggling like this!” she all but yelled at you. You gave her a sad smile. 

“Sorry” you said. “It was hard not telling you, trust me. But I couldn’t you risk telling my parents, I know how close you are with them” you reasoned. 

“What makes you think I won’t tell them all this now?” she questioned. Your smile fell. 

“Suji please don’t. I just couldn’t take it anymore and I told you everything. I can’t deal with the stress of you telling my parents. Please, I’m begging you” you said. 

“I’m just messing with you. I won’t tell them. But you need to start telling me everything too! I swear to god, if I see Jimin I’m going to slap him silly” she said, trying to lighten the mood. “Are you going to forgive him?” she asks.

“I need to talk things through with him honestly. But I can see where he could have had his doubts. But I’m still really hurt with what he said. But I…I just love him so much Suji. I don’t want us to fall apart because of this. I think we can get through it. He did look really apologetic afterall” you reasoned. 

“Ok, but if he pulls anything else I won’t keep quiet” she says. 

“And you won’t have to” you promised. 

The next couple of days were terrible for both you and Jimin. He was trying so so hard to give you the space you wanted, but it was eating at him. He wanted to talk to you again! Meanwhile, you didn’t know when to start talking to him again. You simply made his meals and went to work. You didn’t say anything to him but you missed him like crazy. You needed to talk to him soon. Jimin hated being at home with you when you were just going to ignore him so he would try to spend time with his friends. Usually, he would just end up drunk though. 

Taehyung meanwhile noticed the change in you both. He felt bad and he knew he shouldn’t get into it, but he hated seeing you both like this. So, he decided that he needed to get you two to talk. Jimin had texted him to meet at a bar later tonight, so he decided to ask you to get dinner around the same time. If he was lucky, he could make you two run into each other and force you two to start talking again. 

Jimin waited patiently at the bar for Taehyung to arrive. But it seemed like Taehyung was running late, so Jimin started on a drink before his friend arrive. Since the party, Taehyung didn’t bring up the situation again, and for that Jimin was thankful. He still couldn’t tell his friend what he had accused both you and him of. 

Jimin felt a pair of arms snake around his waist and he jumped at the sensation and turned around to see who it was. To his disappointment, it was his ex. 

“What are you doing here, gorgeous?” she purred. Jimin wanted to visibly gag, but he kept it in.

“None of your business” he said, turning back around and taking another sip of his drink.

“Oh come on. Clearly things aren’t going well. Otherwise why would you be here on a weekday night instead of being with the mom to be?” she asked, sitting down next to him. Jimin rolled his eyes.

“You’re the reason for this. If you.. If you hadn’t placed those thoughts in my head.. I could be.. I could be happy right now” he said, honestly. But he knew that he couldn’t really blame his ex completely. He was the one who spewed the hateful words to you and he could never take that back. Jimin downed his drink at the thought. 

Jimin stopped paying attention to his ex, who was practically drooling at him. He couldn’t get his mind off of you and anything that Jiah had said went in through one ear and out the other

Taehyung had suggested you grab drink at a local bar. You thought it was suspicious, especially since you couldn’t drink at a time like this but he assured you that they had really good food. You didn’t really think twice, and went along with him. You were quite hungry after all. 

Meanwhile Jimin was getting increasingly frustrated. Not only was Taehyung running late, but Jiah was talking his ear off. Though the alcohol calmed him down a little, it also gave him to confidence to finally tell Jiah off for good. 

“Jiminie don’t you remember all the fun trips we took together? Those were so much fun, don’t you miss those days? Remember the ski trip we took? It was so cold! Maybe we can go to Hawaii or something next, I’ve heard is absolutely gorgeous.” she rambled. It kind of amazed Jimin how dense she was. What did he ever even see in her?

“Jiah, I’m only going to say this once so listen carefully. I don’t like you. I don’t have any feelings for you left. I have a wife and a kid on the way and I love them to pieces, ok? They are my world now. There is place left for you in my life, so I kindly suggest you leave when I’m still being nice”  he said, finally facing her. 

Jiah was surprised to say the least. Jimin was never this…rude to her. Even when he broke up with her, he was pretty nice about the whole thing. But this, fueled her anger. She huffed and got up out of her seat. She made it across the bar near the entrance when she saw both you and Taehyung approaching the bar. If she couldn’t have Jimin, then no else could, she thought. 

She quicky made her way back to Jimin, who had her back faced towards her. Taehyung looked around to find Jimin, and his eyes landed on Jiah, who also made eye contact with him. Taehyung was so confused and before he could register what was going on, Jiah turns around Jimin and kisses him. Taehyung lets out a little gasp and you follow his eyes to sight in front of you. There stood Jimin, kissing another woman. 

You let out a little gasp yourself. Your eyes immediately begin to water and your heart breaks all over again. You spent the last couple of days trying to piece it back together, but it was like Jimin came and shattered your heart to even tinier pieces. 

Jiah pulls away, happily and smiles directly at you. Jimin was too shocked to process what even happened. Taehyung had seen enough though. He immediately crosses the bar to confront his friend. You stay by the entrance, not being able to move but you start to sob and people around you were starting to stare. You didn’t even care if people could recognize you at this point.

Jimin wiped away Jiah’s lipstick from his mouth, still finding it hard to believe that she had to audacity to kiss him when he had just told her to get out of his life. “Jiah, what the he-” Jimin started before someone grabbed him by the collar. 

“How fucking dare you” Taehyung all but growls as he lifts Jimin up from his seat by the collar of his shirt. “How could you do that to Y/n?” Taehyung questions still. If people weren’t looking before, they sure as hell were now.

“T-Taehyung-ah” Jimin stutters out. Jimin theoretically didn’t do anything wrong, but his friend didn’t know that. To anybody else, it would just seem like two people sharing a kiss. 

“You said you loved her. How could…how could you be kissing Jiah now?” Taehyung continued, his anger only increasing. During their little encounter, Jiah had also conveniently slipped out but not before giving you one last smirk before exiting the bar. 

Jimin ran his hands through his hair and shook his head, trying not to meet his friends eyes. Why couldn’t he just say that Jiah was the one who forcefully kissed him? While trying to formulate words, Jimin’s eyes landed on you by the entrance. HIs eyes widened in shock. “Y-Y/N” he whispered. 

You finally made eye contact with your husband and your sobs only increased. Jimin tried to break free from Taehyung’s grip, but Taehyung had pulled him right back. 

“No, I think you’ve done enough damage” Taehyung said, firmly gripping onto Jimin. Both Taehyung and Jimin turned to face you and it hurt them both so much to see you in this state. You held one hand over your baby bump and another over your mouth to stifle the sobs. You couldn’t stand there anymore and ran out the bar. 

“No, wait!” Jimin yelled across the bar and tried to break free from Taehyung’s grip once again. “For the love of God, let me go Taehyung!” he yelled back at his friend. “I need to get to her, please. It wasn’t what it looked like” he said, pleading now. Taehyung looked into Jimin’s eyes and knew that he was probably telling you the truth. He hesitantly let him go.

Jimin quickly grabbed his phone and ran out behind you, but only to see you quickly get into a taxi. He ran up to the taxi, but it was too late. You were already driving away. Jimin paced around the street, frantic. Where was his car? He needed to follow you! Taehyung ran out behind him. 

“I don’t think you can drive right now, let me drive you” he said. And before Jimin could answer, Taehyung had already ran to fetch his car. Soon enough, Taehyung pulled up on the street with his car. Jimin quickly jumped in, but your taxi was long gone. The boys decided that you were probably heading home though, so they drove there as fast as they could.

You couldn’t control your sobs in the taxi. Even the driver gave you pitiful looks. “Uh, where to, young miss?” he asked slowly. You gave him the address to your friends house. You called her along the way, but unfortunately she was out of town on a business trip, but she told you where she kept the spare key and told you to stay for as long as you liked. Suji, your friend, knew not to push the matter, especially over the phone. But she still told you to call her once you somewhat calmed down. She knew that Jimin was probably the reason why, but being out of town made Suji feel helpless. What could she even do?

“Y/N, I know you’re really upset right now and we can talk about that later. But sweetheart I need you to take care of yourself, at least for the sake of your baby ok? Please try to calm down a little and call me again once you’ve settled down. Stay as long as you need, ok? I’ll be back in around 3 days” she says. You could only mumble a yes before hanging up. You were thankful for Suji, but you were in no state to be thanking her right now, especially when talking was hard over your sobs.

Jimin kept urging Taehyung to drive faster and as they pulled into the front drive way, Jimin practically jumped out of the car before the car even stopped. Jimin frantically tried to open the door with his keys, but his hands were shaking too much. He just had to see you and explain things to you and make things right. He promised himself that he wouldn’t be making any more mistakes, but this wasn’t something he saw coming. Hell, it wasn’t really even his fault. 

Jimin finally opened the door, but the house was dark and empty. He quickly turned on all the lights and ran around the house, hoping to find you in one of the rooms. Taehyung slowly walked in after, watching as Jimin ran around, yelling out your name. “Jimin, I don’t think she’s here….” Taehyung says, rather silently. Jimin stops in his tracks. 

“Do you just think she hasn’t got here yet?” he asks. But he knew the answer. You weren’t coming home tonight. 

Three days go by and Jimin is desperate at this point. He couldn’t find you and you weren’t answering your phone. Even Taehyung tried to get a hold of you, but failed. He felt like this was partially his fault since he was the one who brought you to the bar in the first place. 

Jimin could function, not when he didn’t know where or how you were. Were you ok? Were you eating? Sleeping? How was the baby? He knew this time was crucial for the baby, and he didn’t even want to imagine anything happening to the baby. 

And what was worse? He couldn’t even tell his parents or yours. Every time they called, he would lie and give them an excuse as per why you couldn’t come to the phone. The guilt was eating him alive, and Jimin was dying to see you, and make sure you were ok. 

Jimin tried to think back to all your friends that you had told him about. But his mind was drawing a blank. Instead, he had his friends look into it the first day you were gone. By the third day though, Taehyung had found the address of your best friend. Taehyung remembers you telling him about her, perhaps even setting up a blind date for the two of them. He had kindly declined at the time. He even ran into her at Jimin’s party. 

Taehyung texted Jimin the address and Jimin rushed out the house the second he saw the text. He knew there was a chance that you wouldn’t be there, but he was willing to try anyone or any place at the moment.

The last three days for you were…terrible. You hadn’t been able to stop crying and you honestly felt numb. You couldn’t eat properly or sleep. You tried, you honestly did. You tried to force down some food for the sake of your baby, but it was just so hard. You were under an immense amount of stress. Suji still wasn’t back from her trip, but she had texted you that she would be back soon.

You woke up that morning and you immediately felt like something was different…something was wrong. You were more dizzy than usualy and there was a dull pain in your stomach. You tried to push the feeling away and thought you were just hungry. So you brushed your teeth and washed your face, hoping you would feel somewhat better, but the dizziness persisted. 

You tried to make your way to the kitchen, but you had to hold on to the sides of the bed or the table to steady yourself. By the time you got to the small living room, that dull pain suddenly felt more sharp and tears started to well up in your eyes. 

You heard a loud knock on the door. You tried your best to walk to the door without stumbling. You prayed to god that it would be Suji, and hopefully she could take care of you because you were honestly about to pass out at any moment. You opened the door and your eyes started to droop, but you could make out the figure in front of you. “J-Jimin” you started. 

“Y/N, baby, I’m so sorry. I promise it wasn’t what it looked like, ok? Jiah is the ex I told you abou–” he started, trying to explain things quickly. He was too scared and nervous and he didn’t even seem to realize that state you were in. But before he could get another word out, your interrupted him. You pulled at his shirt.

“J-Jim-Jimin. Hel-help me” you said, before finally passing out and falling into his arms. Jimins eyes widen in shock as he falls to the floor with you in his hands.

“Y/n? Y/N-yah? What’s wrong? Baby? Are you ok?” he asked frantically, tapping on your cheek lightly trying to get you to open your eyes. Jimin’s heart raced a million miles a second, especially when you had no signs of opening your eyes. Thankfully, you were still breathing. But that’s when Jimin saw it. 

That’s when Jimin saw the blood rolling down the sides of your legs

A/N: I’ll end this part here. WHEW talk about angst?! And on that note…happy early thanksgiving! PLEASE tell me what you thought about this part in the comments below or to my inbox. Any feedback is appreciated. I honestly read each and every single comment. Also, I don’t proof read so sorry for all the mistakes. 

Previous Parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9
'Call Me By Your Name': The Story Behind the Most Romantic Movie of 2017
The story behind 'Call Me By Your Name': How an Italian director, an unknown actor and a Hollywood leading man made an instant sex-in-cinema classic.

Even as fans of Guadagnino’s previous work, the actors can’t entirely pinpoint how he produces such unhurried, everyday transcendence in Call Me. “What he allows us to see in certain [scenes], and the angles from which he allows us to see them…?” Stuhlbarg muses aloud, almost in a daze. “‘Look at this weaving path here. Look at this leaf. Look at the rain. Look at a waterfall.’ All of these, in some perverse and magical language, help tell the story.” The actor shakes his head. “I don’t know how he did it." 

Read the article on ►


Requested by @imnotrealenoughforyou: 27. Pray- Having sex in a place of worship

This fucked me up and my lady bits are dead. Enjoy.

It was late, nearly eleven at night when she entered the church with trembling hands and frayed nerves. She couldn’t stop thinking about it; the boy’s face as she dragged him kicking and screaming into the sewers where her lover waited. He couldn’t have been more than four or five, and he had trusted her to take care of him. Instead, she led him to his death, his bones probably laying down in the gray water that she trudged through daily to see the monster who dwelled there. It was her own goddamn fault. She went looking for him, to see if all the stories were true about the dancing clown who ate children. They were true alright, and there was no turning back once he had his claws in her, literally. He would have killed her had she not begged and pleaded for him to let her help him. In exchange for her own life, she’d give him the lives of others.

This had been months ago, and though things had gotten easier for her, this last one was just too much for her to handle. Her mind felt like it would rip in half if she didn’t tell someone, and while she hadn’t been to church in years, there was nowhere she could go that spilling her guts wouldn’t result in an arrest. Then again, maybe the priest would call the police anyway, eager to solve the mystery of the missing children. She’d be thrown in jail and escape the horror that her life had become. Pennywise would probably still find her and kill her anyway.

What was really tearing her apart wasn’t the children she was aiding in the murder of, though. In the back of her mind she knew that was just an excuse, because she was slowly caring less and less about them. She was upset because she found herself actually enjoying it. It kept Pennywise alive and that was all that mattered to her because she had fallen for him. They’d had a few close encounters; he would slam her into a wall in his blind rage and she’d stifle a moan when she felt his body crushing her own. His teeth biting into her neck when she didn’t listen to him. For a creature who could smell emotions, he was really dense. Or he was ignoring the lust he smelled pouring off her. She wasn’t sure which was worse.

She bowed her head, making the sign of the cross over herself and proceeded to walk to the front of the church before hanging a left to get to the confessional. With a deep sigh, she walked into the dark booth and sat down, wringing her blood-soaked hands in her lap. The only thing she could hear was the sound of her heart pounding in her ears until the sliding of the door signaled someone was on the other side.

“Have you come to seek Penance?” the voice asked. She swallowed hard, clearing her throat before she spoke.

“In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. My last confession was…” she thought back, trying to remember the last time she’d actually even come to Mass, never mind confessed, “Well, it’s been years since my last confession.”

“You may proceed,” the man said, and then waited.

“Father…I don’t even know where to begin. In the last few months, I’ve done things… terrible things. Things that I’m sick over. I didn’t do them for myself, though. I did them for someone else who can’t help what he’s doing. It’s just… how he is,” she said, voice shaking and cracking as she forced the words out.

“What kind of terrible things?” he asked. She shut her eyes and breathed out weakly as tears pricked at her eyes.

“I’ve aided in the murder of children,” she said, breaking down and covering her face with her hands, “I brought them to him so… so he could…”

“Kill them?”

“Yes,” she sobbed and whole body shook.

“Why did you help him, if it was weighing so heavily on your mind?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” she said quickly, shaking her head.

“Don’t lie to God,” his voice was stern and scared her just a little.

“I… I wanted to!” she cried, wiping her nose and eyes with her sleeves, “I wanted to help him because I like him. I like being around him. I’m… attracted to him.”

“You’re attracted to a child murderer?” he asked. She shook head and sighed.

“Yes. I’ve thought about him in that way since I first saw him,” she answered.

“In what way?” he asked.

“In a, uh, well, in a sexual way,” she felt her face heat up at the words. She was more uncomfortable talking about her fantasies than the fact that she’d helped kill children.

“So, you want to fuck him?”

Her head snapped up, shocked at his words. She looked over at the window, but the screen obscured any chance of seeing his face. Her eyes strained but it was just too dark. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled and she shivered.

“I asked you a question,” the stern voice returned, and she felt compelled to answer him, but she couldn’t explain why.

“Yes. Yes, I want to fuck him.”

A dark chuckle came from the other side of the screen, one that she knew she’d heard before but couldn’t place at the moment. It was unnerving and all she wanted to do was leave, to get out of the claustrophobic box so she could go home.

“Why don’t you come over here and do it then?” a different voice asked, and this time when she looked at the screen, two glowing orange eyes burned into her own. Her breath caught in her throat as she recognized Pennywise, vaguely making out the outline of his twisted smile. He chuckled and licked his lips, sucking saliva back into his mouth as he drooled. She felt heat flood her panties as she looked at him and let her fingers rub just a little harder against her jeans than she should have. He sniffed at the air and exhaled with a pleased hum.

“Come to me, kitten, and let Pennywise play with that pussy instead,” his low voice made her shiver and she stood up, pushing the door open to inspect the church. It was empty from what she could see, and she hurriedly opened the other door where the clown sat waiting for her, cock in hand. She gasped at the sight of it in the dim light, more arousal making her panties wet.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, unable to get any other thought to come from her mouth. He growled and grabbed her by the waistband of her jeans, yanking them down her legs. His hand cupped her aching sex, middle finger stroking the dampness.

“Is that really what you came over here for?” he asked, tilting his head to the side with a grin. She slowly shook her head and he nodded, smile getting bigger. His long arms pulled her into his lap forcefully, moving her panties aside to touch her swollen lips.

“Mm, look at you. Already dripping for this cock,” he chuckled, “In a church, too. What a dirty girl I have.”

Her fingers tightened around his shoulders where she gripped them for support, eyes shutting as she felt him pull his fingers away to instead slide the head of his cock back and forth through her wetness. It was hot and she could feel it pulsing as it touched her. Moans threatened to slip from her mouth, coming out as tiny squeaks as she tried to stifle them.

“If you wanted Pennywise to fuck you pet, all you have to do was ask,” he purred into her neck, raking his teeth along it and entering her with no warning. She began to scream, but he shoved two gloved fingers into her mouth to keep her quiet. Her big eyes stared at him as he brought her face to his, bucking his hips to go deeper.

“Keep quiet. We wouldn’t want anyone to hear us, would we?” he asked, voice ragged as he thrusted up into her quivering pussy. The tight, wet heat was unexpected; he’d underestimated his own feelings towards her and every fiber was fighting to maintain control. Now, as she sucked his fingers and stared at him with those fuck-me eyes, all he could think about was destroying her body. His hips snapped up faster, slapping into her hot skin while he used his free hand rub her clit, growling as he saw her fighting more moans.

“You’re such a naughty little thing, moaning and crying, dying to come all over Pennywise’s cock already,” he smirked, watching her face grow red as spit dripped from her mouth while she swirled her tongue around his fingers. He was right; she was squirming in his lap, so close to her release that she wanted to scream. His fingers came out of her mouth and she gasped, sucking in air. She rutted against him, pressing into his hand for more stimulation.

“I want to cum so bad,” she whispered, licking her lips.

“Mm, Pennywise will let you cum, little one, but first I need to know that you’re mine,” he growled, teeth finding her neck again and biting down painfully. She hissed, feeling herself teetering dangerously close to her end.

“I’m yours, I swear I am,” she whined, “Please, Pennywise.”

“Prove it,” he snarled, tightening his grip on her, “Open your mouth.”

She stared at him, unsure for a split second before she opened up, letting her tongue hang down her chin. He rumbled, smirking at her, and grabbed her by the jaw to force her head down. Her eyes widened as he spit into her mouth, watching it slide down her tongue.

“Once you swallow it, Pennywise will let you cum,” he said. He slowed down his thrusts, trying to prolong his own orgasm until she obeyed. She closed her mouth swallowing and bringing her face forward to capture his mouth. He growled and rubbed his fingers faster, watching as she threw her head back and came. His gloved hand wrapped around her mouth, covering it to silence her moans. The added tightness was too much for the clown, and he held her in place as he buried his cock in her, filling her to the brim with his seed. He was panting, gasping and drooling in an erotic display that had no business taking place in a confessional. When they both caught their breath, he looked at her with a hard glare.

“You’re mine now, pet. More now than ever. If you ever try to beg for forgiveness from anyone from me, I’ll snap your neck,” his voice was low and serious. She nodded, biting her lip.

“I’m yours.”

Sorry if I forgot you!









I’m on mobile and it won’t let me tag anyone else 😭 I’ll try to fix it when I get to a computer

P.S. I Love You (Pt. 1)

A/N: Hi! nice to meet you all, my name is Carolina and this is my first ever piece of writing on this blog. I always accept feedback or requests to write if you have any ideas :). This mini series is inspired by the movie P.S. I Love You (if you haven’t seen it, you definitely should), and I hope you like it! Enjoy!! 

Tuesday, December 21st

My dearest Y/N,

It is 10:01pm and I miss you more than I did at 10:00pm. I don’t know what to do; I’ve tried calling you, but it goes straight to voicemail. Whenever I text you, you tell me to leave you alone… I’m sorry, Petal. I can’t do that. I can’t leave you alone. I can’t even stop thinking about you.

Do you remember the day we met? You were so lost. You had no idea where to go and you had plenty of boxes in your hands; you looked adorable. And I never told you this, but I bumped into you on purpose, love.I remember your face perfectly when that happened. You looked flustered and mad- more like pissed- at me for dropping those boxes.

I remember I introduced myself and you said, “Harry? I’ve never met anyone called Harry… cool”. And as cliche as this sounds,that’s when I knew, Y/N, I knew there was no going back from falling in love with you.  

I miss you Y/N, I really, really do. And I want to go to your house, but I’m Y/B/F/N will beat the crap out of me for doing what I did to you. Because I am a hundred percent sure you already told him. How, you ask yourself? He may or may not have called me to curse at me a couple of times (7, but who’s counting?). But I’m not complaining, Love, I deserved it. And I swear to you, no one could’ve done it better than he did.

Y/N, it is now 11:30pm and I cannot stop the thoughts running through my mind. From our first “official” date, to the last time I saw your face. I can’t get over you, darling; I’m addicted to you. I want you, I need you, I… please, princess. Come back to me.

Y/N, do you remember our first kiss? It was awkward wasn’t it? I’m sorry about that.  I remember it vividly. We were in my car, and you said,

“When do you think our first kiss should be?”

And I tried to act cool, I swear, but what I said ended up making me sound like an arrogant jerk and I’m sorry for that. I

remember I said, “well, darling, I don’t know about you, but this is not my first kiss. In fact, I’ve had so many I don’t even know what number this one is.” You looked at me, and I could see it in your face, Y/N, I swear you thought I was the biggest asshole you’d ever met.

And I wouldn’t have disagreed if I’d known what I was bound to do to you, princess.

I hope your day is going well,

Your Harry. x

P.S. I love you

Socially // Spencer Reid

A/N — I could actually cry at this request it makes me so happy, as someone without a diagnosis I found it easier to write the girl that way too, sorry for anyone who isn’t a fan of that idea. I based this off what I would want to happen, so let me know what you think!

- Blue x

Requested: Yep! Thank you @serendiptious-esparza

Warnings: Social Anxiety, fear.

— Y/N’s POV —

Being scared of the world was terrifying, everything around me made me feel uncomfortable. What made it worse was that, for me, there was barely any way to make it better.

I matched every single symptom written down, created, imaginable - but I hadn’t been diagnosed, and that therefore meant that most people didn’t believe me.

‘You don’t have a diagnosis, it’s not real’ ‘you’re just shy’

It was things like that that really hit deep, hit a nerve and made it worse.

The thought of ordering food from someone, their eyes staring so hard at me, the thought of talking to someone I hadn’t met before, knowing it could go anyway - things like that stopped me from living my life.

But with Spencer, things were different.

Him being a profiler, he could tell straight away why I was shaking like a leaf after someone brushed against me on the train. He could tell immediately why I had a panic attack after ordering food on our first date.

He helped me with it all, he made me feel loved, cared for, happy again.

He calmed me down, helped me breathe. Spencer knew exactly what it was like to be scared of people including yourself, so he was like a prince when it came to saving me from the world around me.

“Are you sure you wanna do this? I want you to be comfortable.” He says, walking up to me in our shared kitchen, butterflies resting in my stomach now going crazy.

We had a reservation booked for our three year anniversary, and I had promised Spencer and myself that - this time - I would order my food myself. I didn’t want to lean on him, he had his life to live and I didn’t want to give him my problems too. I wanted to tackle my demons, make them dissipate again.

“Yes, Spence. I need to do this, I mean I might have a panic attack but it’s worth it. Don’t they always say that you need to live your life and try and tackle the anxiety?” I say, arms wrapping around his waist in an attempt to hide the image of my shaking hands.

I could feel my whole body shaking like a leaf. I couldn’t sit still, eithe my leg was bouncing or my finger was tapping. My heart felt like it was going and twelve times the speed, about to shoot out of my chest like a bullet. I was sweating like mad, feeling my cheeks take a lipstick red shade and little beads of sweat begin to build on my head.

That was just thinking about ordering.

“Well, statistically, 6.8% of the U.S. population suffers from social anxiety disorder, so there’s a few people like you out there. Meaning, you might not be alone in the restaurant, and you won’t be alone anyway because you have me. If you need to, I’ll order for you.” He smiles, his facts making me giggle.

He always had a way of using his smartness to make me smile, to make me laugh the fear away.

If I didn’t want to leave the house in the morning, then he would throw a fact about how good being outside is for me - he knew how to make sure I was ok and didn’t let it get to my head.

“That’s good to know, but I’ll be ok.” I reply, as we head out the door to face my fears.

— — — —

“Hello, my name is Martin and I will be serving you today. Could I get you any drinks to start off with?” The waiter asks politely, seeming like a really nice guy.

Even bought I knew Martin and Spencer wouldn’t laugh at me, or make me feel uncomfortable, my hands wouldn’t sit still.

My body was losing control of itself. I was sweating, shaking and breathing so heavily I felt light headed.

“I-um- can i have a-uh-a glass of wine please? Just th-uh-that one there.” I say, the words almost a whisper through the barrier of fear.

My finger points to the name as he scribbled down the words.

The drinks are ordered and arrive, and it’s me and Spencer - and I’m breathing. I’m surviving and facing my fears - I feel like superwoman.

“Hey, I’m so proud of you. You did so well.” He beams, a smile painted across his face so bright it could light up a room of shadows.

I had never met someone who had believed me before him - it was all an excuse to other people. They thought I was quiet, or shy, to them it wasn’t real. Then, when I finally trusted Spencer enough to tell him, he was just proud of me for telling him. And now, everytime I do something socially - I’ve never seen someone be so proud. And it makes my heart melt knowing that the person I wake up to everyday, is someone who believes the words that leave my mouth.

“Thanks, Spence. Do you think he thought I looked stupid? I stuttered over my words real bad.” I ask, looking into my drink and remembering the almost non-coherent words I spoke.

“No, he probably thought you looked beautiful. Listen, for someone like you that was a really hard thing to do, really hard. I’m so happy you did that, you’ve never done it before!” He grins, not being able to talk about anything else.

“Yeah I guess so. Jesus it was scary but I’m so happy I did it.” I say, smiling back with a grin just as big.

“How do you feel about trying to order the food? It’s ok if not, you’ve done amazing already.” He says, looking down at the menu, knowing the kind waiter would be back soon to take the order.

“I think I’m done for tonight, but there’s always next time. I mean I’m taking little steps. Maybe I’ll go to the doctor soon.” I reply, thinking about how much better it would be if it was confirmed.

And with Spencer by my side, I wouldn’t have to live in fear anymore.

“Well, let’s enjoy our anniversary then!” He laughs, small giggles being let out of his body.

Without Spencer - I wouldn’t be able to do that. I wouldn’t tackle my fears, I wouldn’t move on from the anxiety-riddled feelings.

But I do, I face my fears and I smash them down like a brick wall that’s in the way.

And I’ll continue to do so.

For @joshwillistf
It had been a nice, sunny morning at the beach when Josh and I had set up our picnic area. We laid out or blankets and food as the two of us began to relax. Both of us lay in the sun with our swim shorts, ready to get a good tan. Two buddies in the sun; what else could you possibly want? Well our Phy-Ed Teacher was about to show us.

You see, it seemed that Coach Sorenson (as he requested everyone to call him) and his son, Jack, had to decided to take a nice trip to the beach as well. I got a little nervous and it seemed as if Josh was scared as well; for both of us skipping and avoiding gym didn’t earn us a good reputation with that end of the school. It wasn’t they we weren’t fit; we just were lazy and had better things to do.

“Hey Declan! Hey Josh!” He said in a comical voice. He was as happy as a child but his voice was so deep it caught Josh and I off guard.

“Hello, Mr. Sorenson,” Justin said, getting up slowly with myself following.

“Coach,” he corrected, and after shaking our hands motioned himself to his son, “and this is my son, Jack.”

“Hello,” he said, his voice was somehow deeper and more intimidating. Everyone in town knew Jack Sorenson. He was a big thing in sports back in the day, but had been the smallest in the mental department. As Josh and I shook hands with Jack, some white stuff rubbed off and got all over our fingers.

“Eww,” Josh mumbled and tried to rub it off.

“What is this stuff?” I asked, as it began to slowly weep into my skin.

“Oh sorry,” Jack replied, “just some homemade sunscreen. Guess I didn’t massage it in quite enough.”

Coach Sorenson looked at us an began to start a new conversation.
“So have you two signed up for the baseball team yet?”

“What do you mean?” Justin asked. I looked at him inquisitively; had his muscles always been so defined?

“Well, both of you look certainly strong enough.” As soon as Coach Sorenson said this, Justin and I pounded on muscle. We both grew a few inches taller, him just one more than me, but my pecs began to push farther out. Our thighs began to pulse and expand as our hands grew rougher and meatier; meant for catching and throwing baseballs.

“And I know the two of you always showed up to your gym classes.”

With that memories of playing video games in dorms or doing homework became attending the gym daily and helping support each other with lifting weights. As our thoughts readjusted, Jack began to smirk lightly as Coach continued.

“You guys obviously have the feet to run back to home base.”

With that, our feet began to expand. Josh became longer yet thinner, and stretched out past his sandals. New memories of him in the Swim & Dive Team flooded into my mind. Blond hairs became to creep up to his toes. Mine on the other hand grew outwards and thicker as memories of football flooded my mind. Dark black hairs crawled across my now Size 15 feet, just like how the blond did for Josh’s Size 14.

“And look at all the hair on your body, that signifies that both of you are real men and only real men do sports.

Hair began to crawl across our bodies. Blonde hair cascaded onto Josh’s chest, legs, and arms, but they were short to give Josh better scores at swim meets. Black hair hit my legs and arms, but it didn’t appear on my chest because I remembered that I didn’t want chest hair until I was 30. Hair filled our armpits and soon a vile, frattish scent began to waft around all of us. But as I smelled it more, I began to enjoy it. It was the scent of a real man, and I thought that everyone should enjoy it.

“You two also aren’t too bright, so sports is really the only way to go.”

Coach Sorenson smiled as we both began to feel dumber. I saw Josh’s eyes grow dull and grey as his intellect drifted away. I bet I looked exact same. As the cloud began to settle in however I felt almost better. Everything seemed simpler and easier. I smiled and chuckled a dumb laugh as I looked at Josh who was drooling. I always had to take care of him cause he was so dumb; and at an IQ of 80 he was almost on the line of retardation. I wasn’t to far behind though at 86.

“And with those studly faces and those pouches, I don’t think that you guys could be anything but jocks.”

Josh and I had always been straight, but when we saw Coach Sorenson and Jack pull down their speedoes and pull out their near foot long cocks; both Josh and I dropped like a ton of bricks. I began to work on Jack’s and Josh worked on Coach’s. As we sucked, we felt our faces rearrange and our dicks grow. Our Adam’s apples pushed out as our higher moans become deep, brutish groans. My face began to age a little ore as I grew in a dark beard while Josh’s became more mature and sexy. I felt Jack’s testicles rub up against me as I deep-throated him, and by the noises coming from besides me I was pretty sure Josh was doing the same. My face was in the forest of pubes when I heard Jack and Coach cum in our mouths. The cum traveled through our systems into our balls, which began to grow and become hairier as the jock cum mutated inside of us. Our cock grew and grew until finally at 8 inches (in which we would learn would stay like that) we blew our loads. Our minds settled in as the final memories were placed. Josh and I were the most popular couple in town. Everyone knew our faces, and after school we would move to the big leagues of baseball and modeling. Both of us were top and bottom, and we would make sure to have sex at least twice day.

“So, did you two sign up for the baseball team?” Coach Sorenson asked, pulling his speedo up as we did with ours.

“Of course, bro!” We replied in unison as we began to walk back to our spot.

“Oh Declan!” Coach called me back as Jack brought Josh to the seashore, groping him.

“Wassup Coach?”

“You still got some sunscreen on you,” he knelt down and licked the darker spot on my speedo.

“Oh sorry, Coach!” I said as he came back up.

“No problem, Declan,” he replied smiling before grabbing my bubble butt, “you’ll just owe me later.”

Memory - Gabriel x Reader

Written for the @gabriel-monthly-challenge​ if you write and love Gabriel, please go and check the blog out! They have great prompts for this month!

Originally posted by masseffectdoctor

GMC November Dialogue Prompt: “Stop saying you’d take a bullet for me. You’re immortal, it doesn’t count.”
Warnings: SPN type violence.
Words: 2,597

Part I - Part II (Coming Soon)

It’d been weeks since they came back into her life.  

Still unable to completely remember their lives together, finding herself feeling safe and back home was more than enough to trust them entirely.  

Rain fell heavily as she stepped outside the building. The sound of her heels tapping against the pavement as she walked towards the parking lot, gave her something to synchronize her breathing with, hoping to soothe the anxiety that was making her stomach sick.

Something was coming, and her heart was trying to tell her.

Keep reading

This site really is horrible like I remember being like 15-ish and making a post abt how cool it was that legend of korra made korrasami canon and then someone (who I’m pretty sure was an adult) came onto my post and gave me this long winded spiel abt WHY it wasn’t good writing and whatever and I basically replied with a longer version of “thanks for ruining my gay mood” and then the person literally confronted me via messenger abt how if I post something it’s public domain and they can say what they want like didndjdjdj God fandom adults have always been awful I just didn’t realize until recently lol

anonymous asked:

That Aaron/Rebe!@%#^# conversation was plot but what was the plot? He already knew the breaking news she was spilling so what did it lead to? Just her being frustrated that no one was shocked?

I just honestly think she likes to throw Robert in it with Aaron and more than anything it pisses her off that Aaron always knows. It bothered her last November with the kiss even though Aaron was lying and remember when Aaron told Robert about stealing the money? She was like shocked, ‘he told you?’ and Robert said ‘of course.’ She was hella shocked that Robert told Aaron about the ONS when she pushed him to do that day before. She just hates how brutally honest Robron are with each other because Robert always lies to her and she never knows. It’s something very consistent about her character.

It’s Just Science At This Point

So I am sitting here watching season 2 with my Mom, since she hadn’t seen it yet, and we are on episode 3 when I see it. How did I not remember this?

This shot is from El’s POV as she’s seeing Mike help Max up from the fall she caused. She’s already jealous and when Mike helps her up, she gets even more jealous and we get a focus on them holding hands. Yes that’s right it’s ANOTHER CLOSE UP HAND HOLDING SCENE. Because hand holding scenes = romance. Now we know Mike and Max didn’t have a romance, but it was clear from how it was set up and shot that El thought they were. A love triangle fake out if you will. Because Max and Mike didn’t like each other like that.

Excuse the shit screencap. This was the best I could do on my phone. Anyways, the point of this is that once again, close up hand holding shots seem to be done with the express purpose of showing/foreshadowing romance of some kind between the characters. If it didn’t then they wouldn’t zoom in on it in such a blatant manner. The camera is literally telling us PAY ATTENTION THIS IS IMPORTANT!!

It would almost make no sense at all for the Mike and Will scene to not be read in this manner–as romantic foreshadowing–or for nothing to come from it. It would totally break the rules that they so far are laying down. 

It’s their universe, I am just going by what they’re telling me.


i did some bio notes on the history of genetics and I love how they turned out! i have a physics test tomorrow so idk why on earth I’m doing bio xD

on a more positive note, some of you may remember when I was cramming for my English mock a little while ago- and I guess something good came out of it because I got an A! It must’ve been from all of you guys wishing me luck :’D
NEVER CRAM guys it’s unhealthy and silly

anyways, I have some 6th form meetings to attend, so I’ll be back a bit later to answer some asks when I get back- so get asking! :))

anonymous asked:

did bts every mentioned how they came up with the lyrics and who produced their solo songs and like how they went through the whole album process

I’m not sure. Namjoon talked about LY: ‘Her’ in one of vlives (not recent vlive, the one before that) he talked about every song and stories behind them. Also I think they talked about wings album and solo songs and how everyone wrote their song. I really don’t remember if they ever explained the whole album process for any album or album in general

Epitome of a Hero Complex

Alfred F Jones.

How would I begin to describe this man?

He was loud; that’s the first thing I remember about him. He was loud, but he was thoughtful. Bright enough to shine in anyone’s darkest places, but had a soft enough glow that it would never hurt your eyes. He was smart, but never shoved it down people’s throats like some people did. He knew he was better than most, but never passed up a chance to help someone.

But he was an idiot, a fool. A damned fool that flew too high and never stopped to think about himself for a moment. And he was annoying. Always better than everyone else, always too nice and caring and giving.

But that didn’t stop me. He grabbed my attention first. I wanted what he could give, but I didn’t care about him. He was useful to me, you know?

And I wanted to hate him. God, I tried to hate him and how easily he spoke to others and how bright and natural his smile was and how easy and light his laugh was. But I couldn’t. And against my better judgement, I let myself get pulled into his web of light.

But I didn’t know it would end like it did. I found myself to love him. Every day it got harder and harder to hide myself from his all-knowing gaze and preserve what we had. Eventually he asked me about it, and, thinking back, I believe he already knew the answer, but just wanted me to say it out loud. Cheeky bastard. But I said it anyways. I couldn’t lie to him, even though I tried sometimes.

And when I finally admitted it, the look on his face held more emotion than I think I’ll feel in a lifetime. That in itself almost killed me then and there.

And I wish it had. Because when I had to watch it happen to him, when I watched him get sick and slowly be unable to do any of the things he loved; that is far worse than whatever death would offer me.

The worst day of my life was when the light left it, and again I hated him. I hated him for doing this to me. For leaving without me. Leaving me behind.

And you know, I think about him every day. More and more as time goes on. I’m getting weaker too; I can feel it in my body and see it in my people. Everything is different without him. Everything is far too quiet for my liking.

Because Alfred- the United States of America- was the very definition of goodness. The epitome of a hero complex, if you will.

Dear No Comment,

I do sometimes, but…I try not to remember how it made me feel back then.  There’s no way to change what happened, and dwelling on it now is just a waste of time.

I do try to remember what I learned from it, though.  It helps me stay motivated to be the best spirit medium and village Master I can and remember to stay strong no matter what happens.  I can’t always count on things being easy, but if my mom was willing to sacrifice her life for my sake, I can at least give everything I have to serving others the way she did.

…I probably shouldn’t say this, but if I ever have children, I’d like to be a better mother than she was.  I’ll never understand what made her want to keep hiding herself from me and Sis.

-Maya Fey

eh-moon  asked:

I don’t know if you’ve already done this.. but any HC’s on how Donald and the boys were after Dellas disappearance?? :)

Aaah, my feels.

•I don’t know if HDL hatched before the Spear of Selene, but I like to think they did. They actually meet their mom, but they were too young to remember her. They only had Don’s photo, and that’s why they know how she looks like.

•Scrooge, at the beggining, wanted to remain close to Donald and the boys. But after Donald’s reaction to this mess… he just wanted to be away. He kinda started to believe it was really his fault, although he’ll always argue he wasn’t responsible. He didn’t only lost Della; he lost all his family too. He was broken. He started to believe that family was nothing but trouble.

•Donald felt he couldn’t forgive his uncle. Never. And he didn’t wanted an incident like that to happen again. He wanted to protect his nephews from Scrooge. So he just took all his stuff and moved to the houseboat.

•Donald wasn’t as overprotective before Della’s disappearance.

•Donald wanted to erase his uncle form his life, and that’s why he never told HDL their great-uncle was Scrooge McDuck.

•Of course, taking this descision was very hard for Donald, because he was still loving his uncle, but was terribly disappointed on him. He had great childhood memories with him. But he decided to do the thing he considered best for his nephews, and that was to never know about Scrooge, or what happened to their mom.

•Many times, when they were little, HDL asked him about their mom. It was inevitable. ‘Why we don’t have a mom like the other kids?“Where’s the rest of the family?’'We surely have more relatives’. Donald… these were some of the hardest moments of raising the boys. 

•Scrooge tried to forget about them, and kinda succeded, but… many of the objects on the Manor reminded him of his adventures with Don and Della. He asked Mrs. Beakley to lock most of these in rooms, the garage, the attic… just in a place where he couldn’t see them. Scrooge McDuck wasn’t Scrooge McDuck anymore.

•Donald thinks he’ll never trust Scrooge again. Actually, Donald doesn’t even know what happened with the Spear of Selene, or even what’s the Spear of Selene. Scrooge didn’t wanted to tell him. He did'n wanted Dobald to know because he was trying to protect him.

Aaand that’s all I got :>

- So, how did you get back together with Dad?

- His work, all of it. As soon as he knew Joey was out of the picture, he was on my doorstep with a giant bouquet of red tulips and a box of my favorite chocolates, telling me that he wanted me back and would do anything to make it happen.

- He is such a romantic…

- He is. Ask him to quote Baudelaire or Byron sometime - he remembers most of the love poems by heart. 

- So, does Dad know?

- Of course! I told him I was pregnant as soon as he showed up. And you know what he said? “I don’t care whose DNA is in that baby, any child of yours is mine as well.” So we gave our relationship another shot and here we are.

- Wow…

On the one hand, Therese feels sad and somewhat betrayed that her parents have kept this information from her for all these years, and likely wouldn’t have told her if not for this chain of events. But on the other hand, Joey Carmichael is just a concept to her, even now that she knows she shares the man’s DNA. And not even a positive concept. Fredrick Shell is and always will be her father, regardless of biology. 

- Thanks for telling me. 

- I would have told you earlier, honey. But it wasn’t only my decision to make.

- I understand. So, my hair color?

- Yeah, that’s all Joey. 

- I should’ve known it didn’t get passed down to me from Great-Grandma!

anonymous asked:

okay so that ask was post-story and song but fuck. i’m gonna bring some angst into this. you realize that then, if they did this on the starblaster, davenport screaming his name is like. funny joke haha good times. except bITCH FOR TWELVE YEARS HE CAN ONLY SAY DAVENPORT AND LUCRETIA HAS A CONSTANT LOOPING REMINDER OF THESE PEOPLE AND HOW MUCH SHE MISSES THEM AND ALL THE GOOD TIMES THEY HAD ANS GOW NONE OF THEM REMEMBER THAT. I LOVE DYING AND BEING DEAD

u know, i was trying to ignore that part of the equation for the lolz, but yeah. yeahhhhhh. yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah its not great.