and technically isn't human

Eren's Blessing Part 1
  • Jean: So... Eren, you know that Armin and I have been together for a while now-
  • Eren: Wait, what? This is news to me.
  • Jean: -and I've been thinking, since we're both really happy-
  • Eren: I didn't even know you were gay! I mean, honestly, that explains a LOT about Marco, but-
  • Jean: -I'm going to ask Armin to marry me.
  • Eren: WHAT?!
  • Jean: And I know your opinion means a lot to him, and since I can't ask his parents, I think having your blessing would mean a lot to him.
  • Eren: You... YOU want my blessing? To propose to my best friend?
  • Jean:
  • Jean: Yes.
  • Eren: No.
  • Jean: Why not?
  • Eren: It's just wrong. It's not normal.
  • Jean: Are you fucking kidding me? You're a homophobe, Eren? I don't even know why I'm surprised, you little shit, I guess I just thought that you'd be supportive of Armin, I mean he's your best friend-
  • Eren: NO. No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. I'm not homophobic at all. I'm actually... kind of going on a date with Captain Levi tomorrow-
  • Jean: Wait, what the fuck? And if you're not then what did you mean?
  • Eren: I meant that BESTIALITY is wrong.
  • Jean:
  • Eren: Get it?
  • Jean:
  • Eren: Because you're a horse?
  • Jean:
  • Eren: BESTIALITY! You know, humans being with animals. Although, technically Armin isn't human, but still- hey wait, Jean, where are you going?!
  • Eren:
  • Eren:
  • Jean: *from far away* I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT!
  • Part 2:

Astrid: so as you can see here I drew up a work schedule for when we work with each other on that oral report.

Hiccup: a work schedule?

Astrid: yes it’s even color coded so even you can understand it.

Hiccup: wait a minute, it says here we’ll be working together for three hours for the next 4 weeks.

Astrid: well I thought 4 hours was too much for your smallish brain to handle.

Hiccup: It’s not my smallish brain can handle plenty, its my smallish eyes that will have a problem cause they have to look at you! Yeah I said it!

Astrid: well technically the human eyes are receptors that transmit information which isn’t dechiped until they get to the brain, which in your case happens to be smallish.

Hiccup: why do you have to one up me all the time? Do you get your jollies in a twist to make me look dumb?

Astrid: who said I think you’re dumb? Maybe I happen to think you’re really smart, maybe-

Hiccup: maybe…?

Astrid: maybe I just like you.

Hiccup: well maybe I just like you too!

Astrid: oh really?

Hiccup: yeah maybe I happen to like you for a very long time but I didn’t notice cause I hated you so much!

Astrid: are you saying you like me or not?

Hiccup: are you saying you like me or not?

Astrid: I am saying I like you.

Hiccup: Well I am saying I like you!

Astrid: Fine!

Hiccup: Fine!

Astrid: I guess we’re boyfriend and girlfriend!

Hiccup: on one condition!

Astrid: WHAT?