and your own misery

2

I Can’t Think Straight (2008)

Context: Leyla, a Muslim British-Indian woman, is coming out to her mother, telling her “I’m gay.” Her mother reacts with horror and disgust, telling her “You’re up to your neck in sin” and going so far as to ask “Who did this to you?”

But it’s this scene that sums up the reality of LGBTQ+ desi youth. Our parents may very well love us and want the best for us, but the absolute bottom line is: our parents do not want us to be happy. They want us to be appropriate, to be respectful, to have children and well-earning careers, to fit into the mold of heteronormativity and gender roles, to be religious and pious. But no, they do not want us to be happy. Happiness doesn’t fit into it. To them, happiness is indistinguishable as a separate characteristic because according to them, doing all of these things should already be making us happy. The ideal created for desi children is that they shouldn’t strive to do what makes them happy, but what makes them “good.” Unfortunately, under this context, good is defined as anything that isn’t seen as immoral or out of the norm. 

A woman who is not straight is rejecting her role as a wife, and to a lesser extent, her role as a mother. She is rejecting the notion of subservience to men, of obedience and inferiority. Under our current system that is hugely patriarchal, a woman who does not submit is a threat. 

Now, I’m not saying desi parents are bad parents or hate their children because it’s pretty clear this happens in nearly every other culture in the world. But I am saying that desi parents do not make their children’s happiness a priority, they make their children’s success a priority: successful careers and marriages and children = successful lives. So if you ask a desi parent “do you want your kid to be happy?” they’ll immediately say “yes, of course.” But if you add on “do you want your kid to be gay if that makes them happy?” the answer will be a lot less positive.

This movie tackled Leyla’s sexuality and coming out to her parents absolutely head-on with no coyness about it. She goes straight up to her mother and admits that she’s a lesbian. But her mother’s reaction is really the thing that most “coming out” stories try to gloss over, or sugarcoat, or just in general avoid. Her mother admits with frank and brutal honesty the truth that all LGBTQ+ desi kids know: our parents would rather see us miserable and straight than queer and happy.

There was nothing beautiful about it
When I drank to forget – Or, remember
The ash from the cigarettes made their home on the floorboards
And the songs about heartbreak played well into the night


Tell me what was beautiful about not being able to move
Curling up into a foetal position and holding yourself as you cried
But, you failed to find sleep - You just laid there.
The tears weren’t even from that day – They were from a time when the world was different


There was nothing beautiful about it
Living in fragments and staring at lives you believed were better than yours
Convincing yourself this misery did not love company
And drowning your own voice in your lungs and falling into a terrifying silence


Tell me what was beautiful about not being able to speak
When your voice no longer fell onto the pages as it once did
When your voice was too scared to even ask you for permission to escape its confines
And words no longer turned into sentences


There was nothing beautiful about it
When your own smile could not even crawl towards your eyes
You stared at the scars upon your flesh and did not attend to them
How could you when you made them yourself in the dark hours


Tell me what is beautiful about being broken
When loneliness offered its hand in friendship and you lost yourself again
When nightmares were a reality you cannot comprehend after all these years
When people called you a loner, but you wanted to speak and the words just did not come out
And you just remained broken

—  Navin E. (there was nothing beautiful about being broken)

anonymous asked:

I don't get the fandom sorry. Louis brought Eleanor to his video / photo shoot in Donny aka an important career step. And no one is mad or anything? But with Harry it's always different? Yeah makes sense lol but I guess apparently it's never Louis' decision although he's been playing along with E 2.0! Lost for words at this point. Double standards are just yikes.

You know what?

I am tired. I am so fucking tired.

When Harry does something, people complain. When Louis does something, people complain. People complain that Louis is participating, people complain that Harry is participating.

Nothing they ever do is good enough for you guys. People talk about the dichotomy in their situations, people compare them to each other, compare their career paths and their management teams and stunts and everything they do when amazingly, they are two different people. Wild. I know.

People don’t trust them. People wallow in misery about their situations, and I get it to some extent but for the love of god, can’t we JUST HAVE SOME GOOD THINGS without people ripping it to shreds and taking all the enjoyment out of everything!?!

No one is a bigger Louie than Harry and no one is a bigger Harrie than Louis. They’ve made it through EVERYTHING that’s been thrown at them, and they still love each other so much. And to sit here as a fan and act like you know better than that, like you are more “in then know” about their own lives than THEY ARE, it’s MADDENING.

This fandom can have double standards, I do agree with you on that. It’s on both sides though. Louies ignore things that suck about Harry’s situation and Harries ignore things that suck about Louis’ situation. And that’s just the way of it pal. But. I have a thought for you. Instead of sending some bitchy anon to a person who LEGITIMATELY loves, cares, and wants the best for both of them, why don’t you go stew in your own misery on your I hate the world blog, eh?

Have a nice day.

Sleep

This is part two to Breathing which you can find here.

Imagine~ Kai getting into bed with you when he can’t sleep in the prison world.

The night was filled with cuddling and light snores and when you awoke you found yourself alone in your bed, missing the presence that once lay next to you.

Clanging echoed through the home and you realized Kai was most probably making breakfast like he did every morning before you woke up. You still didn’t know what brought him to your bed but you felt as if he didn’t want you to know so you didn’t ask.

After a while of simply thinking to yourself about the nights events, you pulled yourself from the bed, trudging downstairs like you did every morning. Except this morning it felt different, like something in the atmosphere had changed.

As you walked into the kitchen you saw a sluggish Kai, leaning over a pan of scrambled eggs. You coughed awkwardly in the door way, catching Kai’s attention.

He gave you a small smile before returning to his cooking; you were surprised he wasn’t speaking, considering usually he would never stop. So you decided to speak up first, in hopes it would break the awkward aroma in the air.

“Did you make enough for two?” you smiled, the silence that seemed never ending broken by your words.

He seemed surprised you were even talking to him, especially since he thought you would’ve found the night more strange than he did; even though he was the person responsible.

“Of course.” he smiled, placing the scrambled egg on a plate before putting more on another. You could tell he seemed tense and you weren’t sure if that was because of your presence or because of what had been on his mind the previous night.

The rest of the day was filled with silence and awkward pauses between the two of you. Even in your attempts to be normal with him he still seemed uncomfortable but you were unsure what to do about it.

~~~

It was a few weeks later and you and Kai had gradually returned to normal, or as normal so you could be. Kai still creeped into your bed every night and now it felt as if you couldn’t sleep without him by your side.

Until one day when it all went down hill.

Shouting echoed through the home as your voices boomed against the walls. You brought up his dark past whilst he brought up you dim future, trapped in a prison world for all eternity.

As the voices of the both of you became louder and the argument got more heated, you backed down. Even though you trusted Kai, you’d never seen him like this and in all honesty you didn’t trust him not to hurt you.

The argument was about something silly and you could barely even remember what you were shouting for. It must’ve been around 10pm when the home fell silent, you and Kai sulking in your own misery.

As you lay in your bed, your hair tied in a messy bun with red, puffy eyes. You hadn’t felt like this since you’d been sent here but even then Kai supported you, but now you were alone. Nobody to help you move forward.

After a while of brooding in your sorrow, you finally felt yourself begin to feel sleepy and you thought maybe you’d be able to survive one night alone.

But your mind started to wonder, what if you and Kai never sorted yourselves out? What if you had to spend an eternity alone and isolated?

Thoughts raced your mind and any form of sleepiness had completely diminished from your head. You lied in your bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, completely unable to sleep whilst you were lost in your thoughts.

Little did you know, that just a few rooms away Kai was having the same struggle. He missed the comfort of you being wrapped around by his arms and wondered how he could miss something so little, so much.

But unlike a few weeks ago, he didn’t have the courage to enter your room so he too lay there awake, missing your touch.

As it grew later you realized it was almost impossible to sleep and you had no idea what to do about it. Ever since you’d left Kai alone in the front room, you felt as if a piece of you was missing and all you needed to do was stand up and find it.

Only to find it looking for you as well.

You built up the courage to slip out of your bed sheets and leave the room, your heart pounding in anticipation.

Slowly, you tip toed to the wooden door which you assumed a sleeping Kai would be behind. You rested your hand on the handle for a few moments, debating whether or not this was what you needed right now.

Gently, you creaked the door open, it letting out a loud screech as you pushed it open. Slowly you closed the door behind you, not letting yourself look at Kai just yet.

Gradually you turned around only to be met with Kai staring straight back at you, clearly not able to sleep either.

You gave him a small, nervous smile, unsure of his feelings about you being in his room. He returned it, and as he did you could see the glints of pain in his eyes, clearly struggling with his emotions without your presence.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered, his eyes glassed over. You slowly made you way to the opposite side of the bed, pinching the duvet and lifting it up slowly.

He budged over slightly, his eyes still burning into you, waiting for you patiently. As soon as you slipped into the bed, you could feel his cool rings against your waist.

Every negative thought that had once surfaced your mind slowly slid away from your mind. All of Kai’s violent and inhumane thoughts were suppressed at the simple sight of you entering his room.

He grabbed the bed sheet, pulling it further up to protect the both of you. As soon as he did, he pulled you into his embrace and you could smell the sweetness of his scent radiating off of him.

And that was enough to push you into sleep.

Tagged: @x-xrunnerx-x@psingh97

a/n: this wasn’t nearly as good as the last one but the last one was very descriptive and it’s difficult to build a story using that description xx hope you enjoyed anyway <3

youtube
Never Ever.

Jaebum x reader

synopsis“After all these time of me hurting you, why?” “Because Jaebum, never ever, I would fall out of love with you.” 

word count: 1356

genre: angst

“I love you.”

A salty, wet drop of vapor rolled down onto your cheek as you shot up from the bed, eyes darting across the dim room to a small bed table. Stretching your hands towards the digital alarm clock to tap the button, causing the artificial light to shine all over your room, displaying the time “3:07a.m.”

“I love you.” The words that used to haunt you the most at 3am somehow found its way into your head again: Jaebum’s never ending, soothing voice roaming the halls of your head, locked inside the depths.

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5 Thoughts On Giving Speeches

There are five advices I try to follow when it comes to speeches - and I have 

1) 2 and a half ingredients

“A great speech consists of a brillant beginning, a brillant ending and as little as possible in between.”
(I was told that this was said by Winston Churchill, but I can’t find a proof to verify it.)

Make it short. Nobody ever complained about a speech being too short! 
And: The most important parts are the beginning and the end - for various reasons. This is where you win or loose. This is where you give a good speech or a great one.


2) 7 Seconds

A public speaking teacher once told me the following: 

“Humans actually pay attention for only 7 seconds straight. After that you as a presenter or speaker have to convince your audience to invest another 7 and so on. While speaking you buy their attention in 7 second blocks. Act accordingly.”

Following this idea, your intro buys you the first 7. If you mess up here, you have lost your audience for the entire speech. Therefore: be interesting, unique, make them wonder or laugh.

And if you have their attention fight to keep it.


3) Authenticity 

There is one simple but incredible effective way to make your audience believe you: tell personal stories.

When preparing your speech think of something from your own life that makes your point. Tell your audience about your own way, describe your personal struggle, share your moments of misery and glory - but never tell more than 3 of those stories!

Why:
Nothing is more authentic than your own personal experience. NOTHING makes you more credible for what you say. Understand yourself as part of the message you want to send.

Attention:
Do not talk about yourself too much. Your speech is about your topic - not about you. 

Great examples for this are the following speeches:

4) Practice

“There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous. 2. Liars.” - Mark Twain

This is probably true. But no matter what type you are - the quality of your speech is being defined before you step on stage. It is defined by the thoughts you gave it the days and nights before. It is defined by the minutes/hours you invest in practicing it - alone (in your car, in your living-room, under the shower in front of the mirror, …)! 

To sum this up:  
…no matter if you are type 1 or 2:

a) never just improvise! Your audience will notice. 
b) practice - your first lines, your ending, the most relevant parts and the difficult bridges, …


5) The spark

Give them something to walk away with. Something they will not forget. A thought they will be able to repeat at home all by theirselves. Enable them to spread the essence of your message in their own words as they have fully understood what you were saying.

Two examples: 

(”I have a dream” and “Yes we can”)

Hope some of this is helps you - on stage and beyond. 
May your future speeches become as great as they deserve to be.

Your m

You sat me down, careful to not be too touchy or hold my hand with yours for too long. You couldn’t look into my eyes, you looked at your shoes, the ceiling, the world outside the small cafe through the window, everywhere except me. “It’s not you, it’s me,” you said. You held your breath, your jaw clenched as you finally met my gaze. “Ok,” I finally let out. And it was over. All I could say to you in that moment was ok. But what I wanted to say is, you’re right. It is you, it’s not me. It’s you whose at loss, it’s you who is too blind to see what you have until it’s gone. It’s you who will have sleepless nights and it’s you who will push back the tears with a shot glass. I’ll be okay, I’ll move on and I’ll find someone whose worth loving, someone who loves me. While I’m out there living you’ll be drowning in your own misery. Because right here, in the cafe on the corner we’ve come to love, you’re the one whose doing the heartbreaking, but it’s not my heart that’s breaking, it’s yours. It’s you, not me.
—  An Excerpt From A Book I’ll Never Write #19
Give Me Love, 9

Throne Of Glass High School AU

Summary: He thinks she wants nothing to do with him. She thinks he can’t remember her. Aelin and Rowan were friends once upon a time. But high school drove them apart. However, one night - one party - is about to change not only their lives, but the lives of their friend as well.

Chapters: XXX

————————————

One Week Later:

Elide used to love Fridays.

But really, what student didn’t? She didn’t hate school, not really, but she just loved the weekends. Getting to sleep in, not having to get ready for school when you woke up. Having the option to stay in your pjs all day and do nothing. Hanging with her friends, going to the movies or shopping. All this was definitely better than school.

Now. Elide hated Fridays.

She hated them for the same reason she loved them.

Ever since the party a few weeks ago. Ever since her and Manon… Elide just hated Fridays. The weekends use to be their time, hers and Manon’s. They did everything and anything together on those two short days away from school. Sometimes it was just the two of them, sometimes it was with friends. Either way, they always were together.

Elide spent every weekend alone now.

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the pouring rain | bellamy blake (the 100)

Originally posted by blyedeeks

prompt: 61- “you know it hurt, when i realised that you’re not in love with me. but nothing compared to the pain i felt when I saw you fall in love with her”

you lay in your bed eyes glued to the tent roof as you spread your arms you find the other side of the bed empty like it usually was this time of night

something had changed with you and your boyfriend, he’d distance himself more and more from you and you could see it happening right infront of your eyes.

he was falling out of love and you couldn’t do anything to stop it

you’d tried, to talk, to listen to do absolutely anything to say your relationship with the brown eyed boy you loved but it was no use you knew his love was been shown to someone else

you can feel droplets of rain soak through your tent, splashing down on your cheeks. the wind how,ing through camp.

you sat up your hair tangled from playing with it all evening, you sigh wondering whether it was worth trying to find bellamy, you were terrified of finding him knowing you had to confront him

you couldn’t keep living the way you were, in denial and depression.

you move from your bed pulling on your boots and a jacket trying to locate a torch before you set out in hunt for the brunette boy.

the rain pours onto you as you step out the dirt beneath you turning to mud as you trudge to the place where you knew but secretly hoped he wouldn’t take voyage

your anxiety growing as you take he short path leading to clarke tent, stopping in front of the entrance your hand hovering over the flap your heart beating loudly in your ears

in one swift movement your in the blonde leaders tent, it was lit dimly enough to illuminate two half naked bodies moving against each other

you open your mouth to speak, to scream, to cry, to anything. but nothing comes out

your stomach turns your knees giving way as you collapse onto the ground tears ripping through your eyes pouring onto your cheeks as sobs rake through your body clenching your stomach as the pain becomes unbearable

your so wrapped up in your own misery that you don’t notice the two springing apart, bellamy rushing to get dressed and crawling to your aid trying to bring your head into his hands

you shake your head trying to crawl away from the muscular boy “don’t” you croak continuing to cry shaking your head furiously not wanting his touch or comfort

you look toward the bed where clarke lays sitting up with a sheet draped over her bare body

you hear the entrance of the tent opening again revealing raven & wick, fear etched onto their faces as they see hey friend crying on the floor

the two come over to you placing comforting hands on your back

you sniffle wiping your eyes and jolting upright, the others are shocked looking between yourself and your boyfriend, if you could even call him that anymore.

you clear your throat feeling everyone’s gaze on yours “you weren’t in bed” your voice cracks and shakes as you try your hardest not to break infront of him, he didn’t deserve your tears

the brunette girl steps forward lacing her hand in yours for support, you swallow stepping forward slightly catching the guilty look etched onto bellamy’s face

“why?” you croak “why weren’t you in bed” he hands his head low

“(y/n), baby please i can explain-” you look up into his brown eyes squeezing on raven’s hand “go on then”

silence falls, everyone to afraid to say anything. the patter of the rain the only noise floating through the air

bellamy meets your gaze bringing his lip between his teeth his long tan fingers dragging through his brown mop of hair

“thats what i thought” you state emotionless swallowing the lump building up in your throat

you go to move out of the ten your two friends by your side, neither bellamy nor clarke making any attempt to stop you from leaving.

you pause turning around looking at your boyfriend a sad look on your face “you know it hurt, when i realised that you’re not in love with me”

“but it’s nothing compared to the pain i felt when i saw you fall inlove with her”

i look over to the blonde headed girl giving her a sad smiles before turning back to bellamy

“yous deserve each other”

“c'mon (y/n) let’s get you out of here” you turn allowing raven and wick to walk your back out into the pouring rain back toward your shared tent with bellamy leaving the pair to wallow in their own self destruction

and you could no longer tell what was tears raining down your face and what was the rain drizzle from the big black storm clouds that was your life

because when it rains, it pours

TAG LIST✨👱🏻‍♀️: @hauntedcherryblossombanana-blog @sadbreakfastclb @jugandbettsdetectiveagency @kindfloweroflove

Stuck in the Middle (with who?)

A/N: Rewrite of episode 12.12. Stuck in the Middle (With You), with a twist.

Pairing: Castiel x Reader

Warnings: If you watched the episode, you’ll live.

Word count: 3.8k (Oops)

Originally posted by subcas


5:20 PM

“Dean.” you tried to get your brother’s attention as the waitress was trying to take his order. Even with you shouting across the table from him, he still wasn’t listening.

He finally looked up, reading the waitress’ name tag before asking her, “Mandy, that short for Amanda?”

You chuckled a bit when she looked at him with the most I’m so done face and replied, “Duh.”

You looked back down at the menu, quickly trying to figure out what it was that you wanted to order, because even though you’d never admit it, you took longer than Dean. You zoned out for a moment as you looked over all of the diner’s breakfast items, before deciding on scrambled eggs with bacon, and a side of syrup. When you looked up at the waitress, she’d been looking to the right of you, directly at Castiel.

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heart - newt x reader

prompt: soulmate au drabble where everyone has the first words their soulmate says to them tattooed on their wrist. reader is a legilimens who is in love with newt, but their tattoos don’t match and she observes quietly as he and tina fall in love.

warnings: angst

his eyes were as soft as his voice and his hair was silk in your fingers whenever you got the opportunity to touch it and his every movement seemed so caring and purposeful, so thought out, and you often found yourself marveling at how a human being could be so soft. so soft and gentle, with rough skin and calloused fingers but whose touch was soft all the same. many men you had met were as rough and harsh as their hands, as their touches, as their thoughts but their words dripped honey and kindness and sweet gentle things to draw you closer into their rough and careless embrace. he was different, in manner and intent. sure, he behaved kindly, but his thoughts were light and kind to match, and you found yourself distracted at times, lost in his head. it was such a warm and welcoming place and you found yourself calm, happy, and comforted whenever you happened to visit. you tried not to, as you would hate to make him uncomfortable, but whenever your mind wandered you found yourself dwelling in his. even when he was hurting, or sad, something that happened far too frequently and made you want to draw him into your arms, his mind was always a beautiful, exquisite, and at times incredibly heartbreaking place to be.

you were pleased to find one day, as the two of you cared for the animals side by side and you managed to pick up on a strong wave of affection from him, that he considered you his best friend. the word “friend”, however, always pulled you out of his head and back into the reality that was much less pleasant than his pleasant everyday thoughts. that was all you could be. friends. you could never hold him like you wanted to, like you knew he wanted to as well, and you could never kiss or make love or do any of the things that a proper pair of soulmates could do. you wanted to, he wanted to, and you had both realized that these feelings were completely reciprocated, but you had an unspoken understanding that it would be too difficult, too complicated, too painful, to have to deal with this once your true soulmates surfaced.

before tina came into the picture, you toyed often with the thought of just going for it anyway, and so did he. taking him into your arms and holding him tight like you were meant to be, like you had met and known instantly that you were destined to be together. this was a euphoric feeling, you had gotten a glimpse of it in those around you who had found their soulmates, and all you wanted was to have that with newt. that excitement, that electricity, that sharp burn on the wrist you were said to feel when you finally exchanged a greeting with your soulmate. that satisfaction and security that proved to you that you were chosen specifically for each other by some higher power. you wished almost every day that he had been your soulmate, that the two of you could be free to do all that you longed to do, but you knew that it wasn’t realistic.

dreaming was nice, though.

it felt for the longest time like a mistake that the two of you were so close, so in love, so perfect for each other, but that you hadn’t been chosen to be soulmates. it felt unfair, that is, until you met tina. she was a more turbulent mind than him, stormy and nervous, but with a certain brightness shining in the center of it all that almost balanced the rest out evenly. she reminded you distinctly of a fire flickering at the tip of a candle, exuding brightness and potential, something that, if applied correctly, could do incredible things, but confined to a small space for the time being. it was fascinating to watch her grow and burn brighter and brighter with newt beside her, still shaky, still stormy, but definitely steadier and less confined than before. it was incredible watching her open up, watching him steadily place his trust in her, and watching them fall in love from more than just a normal observer’s point of view. you felt what they felt, though milder, and it made you feel guilty that you still loved newt with every fiber of your being and would, without hesitation, drop everything and run away with him if he were to ask.

he never did, and you found that any idea of that was swiftly fading from his mind. you could feel it slipping, feel his romantic feelings shift away, but as he was still the same newt, his devotion and closeness to you never swayed in the platonic sense and you were eternally grateful for that. for him. it was a sort of heartbreak, however, that nobody but a legilimens could ever experience. you could feel the pangs he felt when he looked at you, back before he met his soulmate, and you could feel the desire, the devotion, the love. and as you could feel all that, you could feel and witness the dwindling of his reciprocation every day you were together. each and every day. your affections remained the same as his slipped right through your fingers and you sat, helpless, smiling along and behaving as though you weren’t losing the most important and wonderful thing you had ever been honored to have.

the interactions of two legilimens can be complicated and difficult to explain. you felt pangs of sympathy from a supportive and loving queenie, who had picked up on the situation and witnessed you listening, so intently, with such misplaced hope and blind devotion, for any trace of love left in newt’s thoughts. you always took notice of her sympathy and asked her gently with your eyes to leave you alone in your misery, to let you wallow in his thoughts, a place that was once so bright and beautiful to you, and your own misery in peace. she could clearly tell that you were completely heartbroken, and you noticed that at times she had to withdraw from you, from your proximity, even from the room at times, and you felt terrible. she was highly empathetic and you could tell that it was hurting her to see you in such pain, but she could see that there was no use trying to console you.

after years of their marriage, and years of you feeling isolated and numb, you still wondered sometimes what might have been if you had just taken his soft face in your hands and poured your life at his feet all those years ago, kissing him and feeling his soft lips, his soft skin, his soft fingers brushing your hair back or ghosting against your skin, physically enveloping you in a cloud of tenderness and devotion that he displayed so clearly in his thoughts. you sometimes spent your nights dreaming of this, envisioning that one moment, tearful and heartbroken and unsure what else to do.

when a legilimens falls in love with someone and they respond in kind, the legilimens feels the love of two. the loss of such a feeling is completely indescribable. 

it’s like 7 am, ive stayed up all night, and this is shit lol

The Vow (Castiel x Reader)

A/N: Hey guys!! I hope the two anons don’t mind me combining the two requests, they just fit each other quite well so I couldn’t help it😅 Btw I wATCHED LOGAN AND OH MY- it’s really not bad haha anywayssss, enjoy!!

Requests: Hi love! Could you a really fluffy imagine with cuddling with cas? Thanks!//Hey! Could you write a really fluffy imagine where cas takes care of you when you’re sick? I would love it so much!


You wrapped your blanket tightly around yourself as you walked through the bunker, heading straight to the kitchen for a glass of water as your throat is killing you. Walking past the library, you saw Sam and Dean look up at you.

“God, Y/N, you look like you’ve been to hell and back, I mean you did but y’know what I mean,” Dean said, looking you up and down, you understanding why he’ll think that way as your hair was in a mess, your face pale as you were dressed in an oversized long sleeved shirt with long pants.

“Thanks,” you croaked.

“Are you okay?” Sam asked worriedly.

“Just peachy,” you replied, sniffling as you dragged your feet to the kitchen, pouring yourself a cup of water. You stared at the water jug, contemplating before just taking it with you as well, heading back to your room.

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One day
the apolitical
intellectuals
of my country
will be interrogated
by the simplest
of our people.

They will be asked
what they did
when their nation died out
slowly,
like a sweet fire
small and alone.

No one will ask them
about their dress,
their long siestas
after lunch,
no one will want to know
about their sterile combats
with “the idea
of the nothing”
no one will care about
their higher financial learning.

They won’t be questioned
on Greek mythology,
or regarding their self-disgust
when someone within them
begins to die
the coward’s death.

They’ll be asked nothing
about their absurd
justifications,
born in the shadow
of the total lie.

On that day
the simple men will come.
Those who had no place
in the books and poems
of the apolitical intellectuals,
but daily delivered
their bread and milk,
their tortillas and eggs,
those who drove their cars,
who cared for their dogs and gardens
and worked for them,
and they’ll ask:

“What did you do when the poor
suffered, when tendernes
and life
burned out of them?”

Apolitical intellectuals
of my sweet country,
you will not be able to answer.

A vulture of silence
will eat your gut.

Your own misery
will pick at your soul.

And you will be mute in your shame.

—  Apolitical Intellectuals by Otto Rene Castillo
first lady, four.

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

pairing: taehyung x reader.
word count: 4.5k
content: basically fluff because shit is about to go down real soon inappropriate language, ice hockey!au

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

TAEHYUNG [10:07] can we talk?
TAEHYUNG [10:09] i really think we should talk
TAEHYUNG [10:23] did you just run away from me?
TAEHYUNG [10:23] why are you doing this?
TAEHYUNG [11:56] at least tell me if you’re alright
TAEHYUNG [11:57] please

You have decided to stop reading his messages after lunch. Mainly because he wasn’t the only one that was trying to reach you with texts. Jungkook and Jimin joined their captain in trying get at least a single word from you, with no success if there’s any need to say. You didn’t even allow yourself to feel guilty for ignoring all of them and that included even your best friend and your brother.

The truth is you weren’t able to speak a word to anyone since the kiss happened; not just because of the kiss itself but by the amount of feelings you had to deal with.

The unstoppable rage from discovering the real reason for your parents’ divorce;

The unbearable pain of having your trust broken down like this;

The undeniable attraction towards Taehyung and the way he made you feel.

Keep reading

Do You Need A Hug: Raphael x Reader

WARNING: SWEARING

Requested by: Anonymous

Could I request a oneshot of RaphxReader where Raph find out the readers so cheated on them and the reader is just really devastated and just needs hugs and cuddles from Raph?

Keep reading

Love at First Video Part 19: Comfort

Misha Collins x Reader

1300 Words

Story Summary: You were a babysitter, but you wanted to be more. Deciding to create a cooking video, you were shocked when it garnered the attention of a well known actor. Soon the attention becomes something neither of you can ignore.

Catch Up Here: Masterpost

You knew you shouldn’t let what those two girls say bother you. Understanding that was easy, but actually doing that, not so much. Their words dug deep, making all the good memories fall to the back of your mind as they rang over and over again.

You hadn’t even thought about the fans reactions to you being in his video. After all, the two of you hadn’t even really announced your relationship yet. But you hadn’t expected that sort of reaction, the utter disdain and rudeness that had leaked off of them as they glared your way. They hadn’t even been careful in their hatred of you, they had wanted you to see it.

Clutching your pillow tightly to your chest, you let the sobs tear out of you. It was hard, when someone was rude to you like that. You always tried to be a kind, and considerate, and other people’s words always hurt your more than they should.

You were so lost in your own pain, that you didn’t hear the gentle knock on the door, or even the creak when it opened. But you did feel the gentle hand, as Misha rested it on your shoulder. “Y/N, you’re scaring me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

You felt the bed sag as he sat down next to you, and you rolled over, letting him pull you into his arms. You tucked your head into his chest, the sobs continuing as you had a hard time catching your breath. You felt Misha rubbing your back, soothing circles that helped calm you down. Minutes passed by, and slowly your crying slowed down, enough that you could breathe and relax a little.

Noticing you had calmed down, Misha tilted your face so he could see you. You wanted to duck back under, and press your face to his chest. You knew you must look a sight, with your red eyes, and mascara dripping down your face. But he kept a gentle pressure on your chin, his eyes full of worry and concern. “Care to tell me what that was about?”

“It’s stupid.” You muttered, wanting nothing more than to wallow in your own misery. You loved knowing that Misha cared about you enough to be concerned, but you didn’t want him to see you like that.

He let go of your chin then, and you sank back into the comfort of his chest, his arms once again wrapped around you, his chin resting on the top of your head. “It must be something if it got you this upset. I don’t care how stupid it is, maybe it will make you feel better to talk about it.” He prompted you.

Without his deep gaze on you, it was a little easier for the words to get out. “I just overheard a couple of girls talking today. I let it get to me a little more than I should have.” You said, trying to skirt around the issue, not wanting Misha to know the real reason.

“Come On Y/N, that’s not all of it.” He said, not giving in. “What did those girls say?”

You sighed. “They were fans of yours. And they recognized me from the video. I guess they don’t like me. They said I was just a fling, that you would never stay with a girl like me. And that I probably did some favors to get in your video.” You told him, the tears starting to well up again while you remembered those horrible girls. “And I know it’s stupid to get upset over words, but I couldn’t help it.”

You felt his arms tighten around you as you spoke, and you knew what those girls had said, upset him too. “That’s the worse thing about my job. I love it, and the fans so much. But they can be a little obsessive. But it’s not because they hate you. Hell, they don’t even know you yet. They are just jealous, and they should be. Because you have my heart, and they never will.” He told you, his words having the effect he wanted. They calmed you down, making you see that he was right.

“But they don’t actually know I’m with you. That we love each other.” You said.

“That’s right, you haven’t seen the video. Come on, wipe those tears, and let’s go watch it. I think that will answer a lot of your questions.” He said, pulling back from you, his callused finger surprisingly soft as he wiped away the last of your tears.

Taking a deep breath, you nodded, grabbing his hand as he pulled you up. He didn’t let go, holding onto it tight as he led you down the stairs and into his study. “Where are the kids?” You asked him, amazed at how quiet the house was.

“They’re over at the neighbors. I was so worried about you, I figured it was a good idea to get them out of the house for a little bit.” He said, squeezing your hand. He pulled out his desk chair, sitting down before pulling you down so you were sitting on his lap. His laptop was still open, and reaching around you, he had the video pulled up with a couple of clicks.

“Here, watch and see.” He said, turning the volume up. Your mood immediately brightened as you watched West attack his dad with the flour, watching as Misha turned on you. It showed all four of you covered in flour as West did most of the mixing and baking.

It wasn’t the baking that had you so enraptured with the video. It was the interaction between you and Misha that had you riveted to the screen. Little touches here and there, like Misha leaning over and tucking a stray hair behind your ear. Or a hand on your lower back. The glances between you and Misha were often, and either sweet, or steamy. It was easy to see from the video that you and Misha were more than friends, so easy that you were sure anyone who watched could figure that out.

“Wow.” You breathed, as Misha ran his hand up and down your arm, before pulling you back to lean against his chest.

“I didn’t realize we were sending googly eyes at each other until I started editing. But anyone who sees this should realize you are more than just a fling to me. That we both care deeply for each other.” He explained, and you nodded, agreeing with him.

“There will always be fans like that, won’t there?” You asked him, tilting your head back so it rested against his shoulder. The video had worked, had calmed you down, but your fears of being hated, and ridiculed were still there.

“I hate to say it, but probably. They are a passionate group, and I love them. But maybe, once they say how happy I truly am with you, they will be happy for the both of us, and welcome you into the family.” He told you.

“Are we going to do that by doing more videos?” You asked him, as he leaned down to kiss your cheek.

His mouth stayed next to your ear, nibbling on it, before he whispered into it. “No, I was thinking you should come to the convention with me, this weekend. Let them see you, and you can see them. Most of them are sweet, and smart. And they would love you.”

LAFV Tags:  @castiel-savvy18@pastapizzacheesedragon@xdifsx@casbabydontgoineedyou @theridiculouspanda@ronnie248-blog@just-another-busy-fangirl@aly-birleanu@dancingcapricorn@pancake-pages@bowtiesarecool6288@ariethegreat98@graceis-lost@chillnadia@earthtokace @littleblue5mcdork @fandomlover03 @posiemax

Forever Tags:  @simplycheyenneautumn @nerdybookwormsinger @generalgoldfishldrm @just-another-busy-fangirl @saoirsewhittle @summer-binging-spn @pizzarollpatrol @createdbybadappreciation @percussiongirl2017 @trashforwinchesters @freakintasticfan @delessapeace-blog @bohowitch@amanda-teaches @loricwizardbluetoastedcake @jensen-gal @babydanixox@bea789 @fangirl1802 @chelsea072498 @moosesamdeancasbees @maui137 @evyiione @supernatural-jackles @keelzythe2nd @eringva @16wiishes @zombiewerewolfqueen @mrsbatesmotel53 @wayward-girl @mogaruke @cornflax01 @myplaceofthingsilove @tatortot2701 @livingasafangirl@be-amaziing @castielhasthetardis @wonderange @atc74 @vvinch3st3r @likesiriusly@cascar24 @jayankles @li-ssu @destiel-addict-forever @sgarrett49 @a-bouquet-of-fandoms @edward-lover18 @danslittlecurl @pancake-pages @iwriteaboutdean @artisticpoet @pretty-fortune@padackles2010 @procratsinator @andreaaalove @docharleythegeekqueen @bradygabrielle-blog @sandlee44 @juatanotherbandgirl @ria132love @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @oneshoeshort @extreme-supernatural-lover @ohgodjensen @mellowlandrunaway @brunettechick @beltz2016 @cascar24 @benjerry707

.LEGEND.

✘ — angst
♡ — fluff
☆ — smut
M — mature content
✓ — complete


J U N G K O O K

A Million Roses (M) → ✘ ☆ + Yoongi [ assassin!au ]

One would think that no one can rival the power of the silent assassin, but as someone begins to claim your targets before you can pull the trigger, the entirety of the crew struggles with mistrust and suspicion, forgetting the oath in which they are bound by blood. For every body stolen, a rose lies in its place, and for every rose placed, you are one step closer to finding the traitor, the one who had so easily convinced you to love him in the first place.

⋙ Part 1 - Part 2 - Epilogue ✓

An Abundance of Color → ♡ ☆ [ soulmate!au ]

⋙ coming soon


T A E H Y U N G

Field of Peonies → ✘ ♡ [ royalty!au ]

A forbidden love with the youngest of the three princes forces you out on a secret rendezvous in the field of peonies just outside the castle walls, but upon meeting at the usual time one sunny afternoon, a pair of shifty eyes catch you in the act, only bringing misfortune upon your hidden romance.

⋙ coming soon

Fool’s Paradise → ✘ ♡ ☆ [ apocalypse!au ]

⋙ coming soon


Y O O N G I

Written Amongst the Stars → ✘ ♡ [ angel!au ]

Life for you is the same every day, a long and monotonous trek between home and school. Every minute that passes leaves you feeling more empty than before, not a single shred of happiness to keep you afloat above your own misery. That is until one stormy afternoon when your guardian angel appears in front of you with nothing but an umbrella in his hand.

City Lights → ✘  ☆

⋙ coming soon


➽ C O L L A B O R A T I O N S

Seven Relationships of Regret → ✘ ♡ ☆ with @mrsjeontobe

A seven part series in which each of the boys will encounter specific tribulations in their relationship with the reader, forcing them to reflect on their choices. Upon introspection, they find themselves in a face-to-face battle with their own sadness, guilt, and shame. Will they be able to correct their mistakes and repair the relationship with the one they cherish most?

coming soon.

Desiderium → ✘ ♡ with wolfii

A multi-chaptered series outlining a tragic love story between Jimin and Yoongi which takes place during the 1990s. As both grow older and traverse the jungle known as adulthood, they learn that maintaining their relationship isn’t as easy as they hoped it would be.

read here. [1/?]