and your own misery

Hey no offense (full offense actually) I’d appreciate it if people would stop messaging me just to tell me how awful the sex scenes are and how the scene between Jamie and Geneva was so much hotter. I get it, you hate Cait and you wish Sam wasn’t in love with her and that they didn’t have such incredible chemistry and didn’t have to get naked together for the world to see but maybe stew in your negativity and misery on your own side of the fence. Thanks. 

2

I Can’t Think Straight (2008)

Context: Leyla, a Muslim British-Indian woman, is coming out to her mother, telling her “I’m gay.” Her mother reacts with horror and disgust, telling her “You’re up to your neck in sin” and going so far as to ask “Who did this to you?”

But it’s this scene that sums up the reality of LGBTQ+ desi youth. Our parents may very well love us and want the best for us, but the absolute bottom line is: our parents do not want us to be happy. They want us to be appropriate, to be respectful, to have children and well-earning careers, to fit into the mold of heteronormativity and gender roles, to be religious and pious. But no, they do not want us to be happy. Happiness doesn’t fit into it. To them, happiness is indistinguishable as a separate characteristic because according to them, doing all of these things should already be making us happy. The ideal created for desi children is that they shouldn’t strive to do what makes them happy, but what makes them “good.” Unfortunately, under this context, good is defined as anything that isn’t seen as immoral or out of the norm. 

A woman who is not straight is rejecting her role as a wife, and to a lesser extent, her role as a mother. She is rejecting the notion of subservience to men, of obedience and inferiority. Under our current system that is hugely patriarchal, a woman who does not submit is a threat. 

Now, I’m not saying desi parents are bad parents or hate their children because it’s pretty clear this happens in nearly every other culture in the world. But I am saying that desi parents do not make their children’s happiness a priority, they make their children’s success a priority: successful careers and marriages and children = successful lives. So if you ask a desi parent “do you want your kid to be happy?” they’ll immediately say “yes, of course.” But if you add on “do you want your kid to be gay if that makes them happy?” the answer will be a lot less positive.

This movie tackled Leyla’s sexuality and coming out to her parents absolutely head-on with no coyness about it. She goes straight up to her mother and admits that she’s a lesbian. But her mother’s reaction is really the thing that most “coming out” stories try to gloss over, or sugarcoat, or just in general avoid. Her mother admits with frank and brutal honesty the truth that all LGBTQ+ desi kids know: our parents would rather see us miserable and straight than queer and happy.

December’s Bareness [YKH] (M)

↠ kihyun x f!reader, 16.7k, protecting yourself isn’t easy, but protecting the ones you love is harder
smut (face riding, mentions of other stuff), mentions of death and other mafia stuff, part of my mafia!au collection (pls check my masterlist)

“But let me set one thing straight. I can’t live without you. I’ve barely been sleeping because I don’t know if you’re okay. I won’t live with myself if you’re hurt, and you can bet your ass I will be looking out for anyone who could have touched you. Innocent or not. I will hunt them down until I know you’re okay. Please. Please. I just want to know you’re okay.”

Originally posted by monstaxscenariosx

Keep reading

Sleep

This is part two to Breathing which you can find here.

Imagine~ Kai getting into bed with you when he can’t sleep in the prison world.

The night was filled with cuddling and light snores and when you awoke you found yourself alone in your bed, missing the presence that once lay next to you.

Clanging echoed through the home and you realized Kai was most probably making breakfast like he did every morning before you woke up. You still didn’t know what brought him to your bed but you felt as if he didn’t want you to know so you didn’t ask.

After a while of simply thinking to yourself about the nights events, you pulled yourself from the bed, trudging downstairs like you did every morning. Except this morning it felt different, like something in the atmosphere had changed.

As you walked into the kitchen you saw a sluggish Kai, leaning over a pan of scrambled eggs. You coughed awkwardly in the door way, catching Kai’s attention.

He gave you a small smile before returning to his cooking; you were surprised he wasn’t speaking, considering usually he would never stop. So you decided to speak up first, in hopes it would break the awkward aroma in the air.

“Did you make enough for two?” you smiled, the silence that seemed never ending broken by your words.

He seemed surprised you were even talking to him, especially since he thought you would’ve found the night more strange than he did; even though he was the person responsible.

“Of course.” he smiled, placing the scrambled egg on a plate before putting more on another. You could tell he seemed tense and you weren’t sure if that was because of your presence or because of what had been on his mind the previous night.

The rest of the day was filled with silence and awkward pauses between the two of you. Even in your attempts to be normal with him he still seemed uncomfortable but you were unsure what to do about it.

~~~

It was a few weeks later and you and Kai had gradually returned to normal, or as normal so you could be. Kai still creeped into your bed every night and now it felt as if you couldn’t sleep without him by your side.

Until one day when it all went down hill.

Shouting echoed through the home as your voices boomed against the walls. You brought up his dark past whilst he brought up you dim future, trapped in a prison world for all eternity.

As the voices of the both of you became louder and the argument got more heated, you backed down. Even though you trusted Kai, you’d never seen him like this and in all honesty you didn’t trust him not to hurt you.

The argument was about something silly and you could barely even remember what you were shouting for. It must’ve been around 10pm when the home fell silent, you and Kai sulking in your own misery.

As you lay in your bed, your hair tied in a messy bun with red, puffy eyes. You hadn’t felt like this since you’d been sent here but even then Kai supported you, but now you were alone. Nobody to help you move forward.

After a while of brooding in your sorrow, you finally felt yourself begin to feel sleepy and you thought maybe you’d be able to survive one night alone.

But your mind started to wonder, what if you and Kai never sorted yourselves out? What if you had to spend an eternity alone and isolated?

Thoughts raced your mind and any form of sleepiness had completely diminished from your head. You lied in your bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, completely unable to sleep whilst you were lost in your thoughts.

Little did you know, that just a few rooms away Kai was having the same struggle. He missed the comfort of you being wrapped around by his arms and wondered how he could miss something so little, so much.

But unlike a few weeks ago, he didn’t have the courage to enter your room so he too lay there awake, missing your touch.

As it grew later you realized it was almost impossible to sleep and you had no idea what to do about it. Ever since you’d left Kai alone in the front room, you felt as if a piece of you was missing and all you needed to do was stand up and find it.

Only to find it looking for you as well.

You built up the courage to slip out of your bed sheets and leave the room, your heart pounding in anticipation.

Slowly, you tip toed to the wooden door which you assumed a sleeping Kai would be behind. You rested your hand on the handle for a few moments, debating whether or not this was what you needed right now.

Gently, you creaked the door open, it letting out a loud screech as you pushed it open. Slowly you closed the door behind you, not letting yourself look at Kai just yet.

Gradually you turned around only to be met with Kai staring straight back at you, clearly not able to sleep either.

You gave him a small, nervous smile, unsure of his feelings about you being in his room. He returned it, and as he did you could see the glints of pain in his eyes, clearly struggling with his emotions without your presence.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered, his eyes glassed over. You slowly made you way to the opposite side of the bed, pinching the duvet and lifting it up slowly.

He budged over slightly, his eyes still burning into you, waiting for you patiently. As soon as you slipped into the bed, you could feel his cool rings against your waist.

Every negative thought that had once surfaced your mind slowly slid away from your mind. All of Kai’s violent and inhumane thoughts were suppressed at the simple sight of you entering his room.

He grabbed the bed sheet, pulling it further up to protect the both of you. As soon as he did, he pulled you into his embrace and you could smell the sweetness of his scent radiating off of him.

And that was enough to push you into sleep.

Tagged: @x-xrunnerx-x@psingh97

a/n: this wasn’t nearly as good as the last one but the last one was very descriptive and it’s difficult to build a story using that description xx hope you enjoyed anyway <3

the beauty of the Bible, what makes me really believe that in one way or another it is inspired by the Divine, is the depth of emotion, real human emotion, that it carries across the millennia. a deep aching and an unquenchable hope permeate its pages, emotions shared and sustained by God.

it’s a book written about and by and for orphans, refugees, enslaved and subjugated people, women and queer people and people of color – the people our world shoves to the margins take center stage in scripture and that is how i know that the Holy Spirit breathes through every line of it, that She inspired its many writers to take up their pens and write. 

and if you study scripture, if you get to know scripture intimately, you’ll know where to look when you have a grief deeper than your soul can plumb, or a joy so heady you need to shout it aloud, or loneliness so vast you can’t see across it. when you need to yell at God and demand justice, or to praise God and celebrate with Them, or to lament on behalf of this fractured world, you can find the words in scripture that you cannot form yourself.

when you read scripture, you become a note in a song that has been woven over centuries in thousands of languages. you are not reading by yourself, even if your heart feels isolated in its own misery – the readers of a thousand ages, those already past and those who are yet to come, are reading it beside you. God is reading it beside you, breathing life into these words that never stagnate, that change every time you read them, that wait for your heart to break to enter through the cracks or come to your tongue in times of greatest joy.

5 Thoughts On Giving Speeches

There are five advices I try to follow when it comes to speeches - and I have 

1) 2 and a half ingredients

“A great speech consists of a brillant beginning, a brillant ending and as little as possible in between.”
(I was told that this was said by Winston Churchill, but I can’t find a proof to verify it.)

Make it short. Nobody ever complained about a speech being too short! 
And: The most important parts are the beginning and the end - for various reasons. This is where you win or loose. This is where you give a good speech or a great one.


2) 7 Seconds

A public speaking teacher once told me the following: 

“Humans actually pay attention for only 7 seconds straight. After that you as a presenter or speaker have to convince your audience to invest another 7 and so on. While speaking you buy their attention in 7 second blocks. Act accordingly.”

Following this idea, your intro buys you the first 7. If you mess up here, you have lost your audience for the entire speech. Therefore: be interesting, unique, make them wonder or laugh.

And if you have their attention fight to keep it.


3) Authenticity 

There is one simple but incredible effective way to make your audience believe you: tell personal stories.

When preparing your speech think of something from your own life that makes your point. Tell your audience about your own way, describe your personal struggle, share your moments of misery and glory - but never tell more than 3 of those stories!

Why:
Nothing is more authentic than your own personal experience. NOTHING makes you more credible for what you say. Understand yourself as part of the message you want to send.

Attention:
Do not talk about yourself too much. Your speech is about your topic - not about you. 

Great examples for this are the following speeches:

4) Practice

“There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous. 2. Liars.” - Mark Twain

This is probably true. But no matter what type you are - the quality of your speech is being defined before you step on stage. It is defined by the thoughts you gave it the days and nights before. It is defined by the minutes/hours you invest in practicing it - alone (in your car, in your living-room, under the shower in front of the mirror, …)! 

To sum this up:  
…no matter if you are type 1 or 2:

a) never just improvise! Your audience will notice. 
b) practice - your first lines, your ending, the most relevant parts and the difficult bridges, …


5) The spark

Give them something to walk away with. Something they will not forget. A thought they will be able to repeat at home all by theirselves. Enable them to spread the essence of your message in their own words as they have fully understood what you were saying.

Two examples: 

(”I have a dream” and “Yes we can”)

Hope some of this is helps you - on stage and beyond. 
May your future speeches become as great as they deserve to be.

Your m

Series: Soulmate au bts and svt
Member: The8 (svt)
Prompt: Non idol college au // In which whenever your soulmate feels emotional or physical pain, you can take it away from them and instead suffer in their place
Find the tag for this series here: x

  • You and your soulmate didn’t use your connection much growing up
  • Neither of you got hurt super often??? And when you did it was the standard cuts and bruises and such, nothing big
  • There was one time when you were 13 and got your cheek split open that he helped you out
  • And you returned the favor when you were 16 and he sprained his wrist and you helped him out back
  • But other than that,,, it wasn’t much at all
  • You didn’t really feel super connected to your soulmate?? Like sure you had a soft spot for him like most people did
  • But you didn’t feel all that close to them,,
  • Which is probably why it was so easy for you to fall in love with someone else at the ripe age of 17
  • You met Deoksu once or twice before your final year of high school,, and you’d always thought he looked lovely 
  • Plus he was funny and super extroverted,, no one in the school hated him really he was just such a pleasant person
  • It wasn’t super uncommon for people to date someone other than their soulmate, but it was pretty rare for them to stay together after they met said soulmate
  • But you really liked Deoksu, and he really liked you, and you two were certain you would be the ones who would stay together no matter what
  • So you began to date in the second half of that school year and made plans to go to the same college 
  • Deoksu had the first words his soulmate would ever say to him on his shoulder,, and he was always careful to cover it around you 
  • And you were careful to never get hurt so he didn’t have to think about the potential of your soulmate connecting to you and helping 
  • Soulmates were just a touchy subject for the two of you, one you two danced around as much as possible
  • You didn’t want to think of the chances that you guys might meet your soulmates,,,
  • Like you always swore up and down that you wouldn’t leave each other for whoever they were, but there was always a little seed of doubt in your heart
  • It was a seed you tried to bury away and forget about, but burying a seed leads to something bigger 
  • It was three years into your relationship when it happened
  • Three years into a relationship full of love, stolen kisses, long nights in clubs, late night talks about your futures 
  • It was a blissful three years, years you told yourself you would never regret them, that he was worth every little hardship and fight and worry about your stupid soulmates 
  • You were deeply, foolishly in love with Deoksu, and you thought he felt the same way about you, you thought nothing would change that and a few years down the lane, you guys would be picking out engagement rings together,,,
  • But it was three years into that relationship that you got a text message that made your blood run cold 
  • “We need to talk” 
  • Somehow, you had a terrible, terrible feeling about this
  • You met up at Deoksu’s dorm room, and you saw him sitting on the bed, wringing his hands as he told you to sit down at his desk
  • You did, nerves eating away at your insides, the long silence heavy with unspoken words and confessions
  • You spoke up first, feeling like it was going to choke you to death
  • “So what did you-”
  • “I met her”
  • Your felt your heart drop straight down into your stomach, a churning feeling inside it that made you want to throw up right then and there
  • “Oh” was all you could manage to say
  • “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice quiet as a feather, eyes finally meeting yours, guilt in his eyes. It wasn’t full of the emotions he had held in them before, and there was something about the guilt in his eyes that didn’t satisfy you 
  • “You’re breaking up with me,” you said, and it wasn’t a question, it was a statement. Your voice was just as hushed as his was “even after all our promises…”
  • “I’m sorry,” he repeated, and you saw something change in his eyes as he thought of his soulmate “It’s just… different with her. I thought I loved you, I really did, but with her, it’s not the same. I know I just met her, but she completely reinvents what I thought love was, she’s just… she’s everythin-”
  • “I get it” you snapped, and you realized what you found so unsatisfying in his eyes
  • He felt guilt, but it wasn’t for breaking your promises or throwing away the relationship, because how could he feel bad when he was breaking these promises to go be with the person he was meant to be with?
  • He clearly didn’t feel an ounce of regret for leaving you, because he was leaving you for her
  • And jesus that stung
  • You could feel the heartbreak eating away at you already, the reality that the last three years had been a massive waste of your time settling in and weighing you down 
  • You left without saying another word, ignoring Deoksu’s pleas for you to forgive him as he followed you to the door 
  • You held it in until you got to your dorm before you fell apart, breaking apart at the seams and regretting the past three years 
  • You felt pain with an intensity you never had in the past, never knowing how bad heartbreak could hurt
  • You cried yourself to sleep, your chest aching with the anguish of lost love 
  • But when you woke up, you felt nothing
  • It was just all numb, which left you in confusion for a moment until you realized what it was
  • Your soulmate, someone you had brushed off and written off as insignificant in your life, was taking the burden of your heartbreak 
  • You felt yourself drifting through the day, your chest numb and the strongest emotion in you labeled as shock
  • You were stunned that this person you had never met had just taken the entire burden of the most emotional distress you’d ever felt for you 
  • That he had effectively saved you from drowning in your own misery 
  • You thought for a long time about what you were gonna do, knowing you didn’t want to stay here since Deoksu had dumped you and you had a feeling your soulmate was at some other college and finals were coming up
  • So you walked straight up to the admissions office and demanded that you transfer to finish your last two years and studies for your major somewhere else
  • And they were just. Astounded like do you know how complicated that can be??? What if it’s more costly??? You’re gonna have to move???
  • But you were just “Yep. Got that. I know. Give me a list of universities.”
  • Reluctantly they handed you one and you were just like well fate don’t fail me now and ran your finger down a list of them 
  • You felt your heart tug as you read the name of one and circled it without a second thought, silently praying that this was going to work out
  • The transition went a lot smoother than you expected it to,,, you wound up moving into a co-ed dorm hoping your chances of meeting your soulmate would increase
  • Fate decided to step in there,, thank god because you were desperate to meet whoever did such an amazing act for you
  • It was a cute dorm to be honest!! It was a few stories high and a couple people living there were fast to greet you and warn you that you were sharing a floor with a large group of guys who were all like bffs to the max and they tended to get noisy
  • And you were like lol I’m sure it’ll be okay
  • But you were barely getting settled into your new room when you heard shouting in the hallway 
  • Poking your head out the doorway you see two boys chasing another boy, supposedly named Seungkwan and supposedly for stealing their toothpaste
  • You heard a laugh and felt something flutter in your stomach as you look up, only to see a boy grinning as his eyes followed the boys racing down the hallway
  • And boy oh boy you could suddenly hear your heart pounding in your ears
  • “Excuse me,” you say faintly, but almost as though he was unconsciously trained to hear your voice, the boy turns to face you
  • And his jaw just drops as he feels the same funny feeling happen in his chest too
  • Honestly you feel instantly blessed,,, this boy was gorgeous wtf 
  • He goes “Wait are you-?”
  • And you’re like “Uh yeah I think I am??”
  • He walks up to you silently, not needing to ask for permission really
  • And to test it he smacks his elbow against the doorway and you quickly take on the pain of the oncoming bruise, muttering “Jesus did you have to hit it so damn hard?”
  • But he just laughs and wraps you up in his arms tightly, a smile threatening to split his damn face in half as he does 
  • “Oh my god, I can’t believe it’s you,” he says as he buries his face in your hair and you can’t help but smile as well
  • “I can’t believe it either” you reply and it’s just,,, a nice moment for a while
  • The two of you are just holding each other in your doorway, and yes you can still hear distant shouting from the boys as they tear their way down to the first floor, but what you can hear even more is the soft heartbeat of the boy holding you like he’s afraid you’re gonna start hurting again if he doesn’t 
  • Everything about the moment, as strange as it sounds, just sounds and smells and feels like well,,,
  • Home 
  • But then he’s suddenly pulling away and meeting your gaze with the most serious look on his face and you’re like wait what no I was enjoying that–
  • And Minghao is like “What the hell happened to you a few months ago??? I was seriously scared you were like dying or something”
  • And you’re like what oh o h OH 
  • So after some quick introductions you invite him inside and being the sweetheart that Minghao is, he helps you unpack while you tell him all about Deoksu
  • He’s like “I know martial arts and I have lots of ridiculously tall friends how about we go ahead and fi-”
  • “Xu Minghao don’t you dare I can already tell you wouldn’t actually want to fight someone like that”
  • “I would if it meant I was fighting someone who hurt you so bad”
  • You guys slowly begin to get to know each other from that day on and you confirm that yes, he was one of the boys from the Noisy Boy Squad 
  • Honestly having rooms right across from each other’s makes things super convenient,, like you guys learn each other’s schedules pretty quick 
  • He’s always coming over after class to sit with you while you do homework or study and like,,, he knows grades are important so he doesn’t bother you a lot
  • He just occasionally asks questions and sits on your bed listening to music or doing his own work until you’re ready to take a break and talk with him for a while
  • Honestly he gets kind of naggy sometimes lmao
  • He’s always like “you need to do your work not talk to me, your break has already exceeded 10 minutes long now keep at it with those equations”
  • “Equations are boring I’d much rather kiss your face-”
  • “That doesn’t work on me, if you wanted that to work on someone you should’ve been soulmates with Greasecheol instead”
  • But he’s such a sweetie at heart,,,
  • Like he wants to kiss you and hold your hands and all that stuff,, but he knows that your breakup really affected you and he doesn’t want to overstep your boundaries
  • So for the first few months he always asks if you’re ready and okay with whatever he’s about to do 
  • And you’re like shdfjhe please Ming you’re sweet but I’m okay now really please just give me a kiss already,,,
  • On days where you guys don’t have classes, he likes to just lay on your bed with you, occasionally turning a movie on and propping his laptop up next to you guys just to watch it
  • You’re holding hands and he gets to play with your fingers and hold you nice and close
  • And then when night falls you just have to snuggle under the covers which is duh super easy
  • He always holds you tight on those night, smoothing out your hair and murmuring that he would never hurt you, that he loves you, that he’s going to treasure you everyday for the rest of his life, that you won’t ever have to suffer a heartbreak like you did before
  • When you tell him that you trust him to take care of your heart, the boy is on cloud nine like??? He’s so glad you have faith in him 
  • Sometimes remembering what That Guy did to you makes him really angry because you’re just such a wonderful and amazing human being and you mean literally everything to him,,, like how dare someone even think to hurt you like that???
  • But then you touch his arm and remind him that you’re a million times happier with him and he gets soft and kisses you with a little smile
  • He’s just such a good boyfriend,,, 
  • Lends you his sweaters a lot, kisses your forehead a lot, buys you guys matching hoodies, goes out and buys you actual food so you’re not just eating college kid food because lord knows that stuff is unhealthy as all hell
  • Like he’s gonna go the extra mile for you because he firmly believes you deserve someone who will do that for you and dammit he’s gonna be that someone even if it means sprinting across campus to get you some damn coffee so you can finish your finals project
  • You: boy what did I do to deserve someone as perfect as you???
  • Minghao: shouldn’t I be the one saying that to you
  • You: Don’t Make Me Soft Like This
  • Too late you’re already soft for Minghao
  • And since he’s your soulmate you’re stuck being soft for him forever and ever I hope you enjoy and treat him right

anonymous asked:

I don't get the fandom sorry. Louis brought Eleanor to his video / photo shoot in Donny aka an important career step. And no one is mad or anything? But with Harry it's always different? Yeah makes sense lol but I guess apparently it's never Louis' decision although he's been playing along with E 2.0! Lost for words at this point. Double standards are just yikes.

You know what?

I am tired. I am so fucking tired.

When Harry does something, people complain. When Louis does something, people complain. People complain that Louis is participating, people complain that Harry is participating.

Nothing they ever do is good enough for you guys. People talk about the dichotomy in their situations, people compare them to each other, compare their career paths and their management teams and stunts and everything they do when amazingly, they are two different people. Wild. I know.

People don’t trust them. People wallow in misery about their situations, and I get it to some extent but for the love of god, can’t we JUST HAVE SOME GOOD THINGS without people ripping it to shreds and taking all the enjoyment out of everything!?!

No one is a bigger Louie than Harry and no one is a bigger Harrie than Louis. They’ve made it through EVERYTHING that’s been thrown at them, and they still love each other so much. And to sit here as a fan and act like you know better than that, like you are more “in then know” about their own lives than THEY ARE, it’s MADDENING.

This fandom can have double standards, I do agree with you on that. It’s on both sides though. Louies ignore things that suck about Harry’s situation and Harries ignore things that suck about Louis’ situation. And that’s just the way of it pal. But. I have a thought for you. Instead of sending some bitchy anon to a person who LEGITIMATELY loves, cares, and wants the best for both of them, why don’t you go stew in your own misery on your I hate the world blog, eh?

Have a nice day.

One day
the apolitical
intellectuals
of my country
will be interrogated
by the simplest
of our people.

They will be asked
what they did
when their nation died out
slowly,
like a sweet fire
small and alone.

No one will ask them
about their dress,
their long siestas
after lunch,
no one will want to know
about their sterile combats
with “the idea
of the nothing”
no one will care about
their higher financial learning.

They won’t be questioned
on Greek mythology,
or regarding their self-disgust
when someone within them
begins to die
the coward’s death.

They’ll be asked nothing
about their absurd
justifications,
born in the shadow
of the total lie.

On that day
the simple men will come.
Those who had no place
in the books and poems
of the apolitical intellectuals,
but daily delivered
their bread and milk,
their tortillas and eggs,
those who drove their cars,
who cared for their dogs and gardens
and worked for them,
and they’ll ask:

“What did you do when the poor
suffered, when tendernes
and life
burned out of them?”

Apolitical intellectuals
of my sweet country,
you will not be able to answer.

A vulture of silence
will eat your gut.

Your own misery
will pick at your soul.

And you will be mute in your shame.

—  Apolitical Intellectuals by Otto Rene Castillo
Fish Out of Water pt 5

Humans are weird, and when you get the chance to get to know one and understand them better, you take it. But there are rules about interfering with human affairs, and breaking them might come at a higher price than you were willing to pay.

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

Reader x Yoongi

Mermaid Au

Fluff, humor, maybe some angst? Not much though.


“Are you okay?” 

Yoongi’s voice brought you back to reality, and you blinked at him slowly. The two of you were sitting under the pier, and you had been lost in thought as you stared out at the waves. Were you okay? No, not really. You were so close to home, yet so far away at the same time.

It had only been a day since you lost not only your tail, but your home, your friends, everything you knew, and you already missed all of it. You felt entirely alone, even though you knew you weren’t. 

Yoongi was there. He had helped you unconditionally since you walked into the restaurant, and been nothing but kind. You reminded yourself of this as you tried to pull yourself out of your own misery. Feeling sorry for yourself wasn’t going to fix anything, you knew that. 

Your eyes were blurry when you turned back to the ocean. “It must be a human eye thing…” You thought. Everything about being human was different from being a mermaid.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You finally managed, though your voice wavered. Yoongi let out a small sigh, reaching over to brush the back of his hand along your cheek. 

“Are you sure? Crying usually means someone isn’t okay.” Your hand went to your cheek instinctively at his words, and sure enough, there was water leaking from your eyes. Knowing this just made it worse, and Yoongi’s eyes widened in alarm. “It’s okay to not be okay, you know that, right?” Yoongi said softly. 

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Hero: 12

Author’s Note: lord i have missed this world soooo much. this chapter is brought to you by the NYC subway system, a 4 hour drive home, and late nights editing. please welcome this world back with open arms <3

Song for this chapter: This Isn’t The Place - Nine Inch Nails

Genre: Vampire!Chanyeol; horror; thriller; drama; suspense; eventual smut

Pairing: Chanyeol X Reader (oc; female)

Rating (this chapter): R

Warnings (this chapter): explicit language; graphic depictions of violence; graphic depictions of blood

Word Count: 6,890

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11a | 11b | 12 |

When the stone of the temple was not weathered, eroded beneath the wind, the rain, and the hands of time; when the dye on his silk robes was vivid, fresh, and soaked into the cloth with meaning and symbolism, Chanyeol felt everything with the whole of his heart. To him, the world was limitless - in its beauty, in its joy, and its grief. He wanted everything, all the best and worst parts, all the horror, strife, and bliss, in a fullness that would make his body ache and his skin tingle from the stimulation. Back when he was human, Chanyeol was alive.

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Never Ever.

Jaebum x reader

synopsis“After all these time of me hurting you, why?” “Because Jaebum, never ever, I would fall out of love with you.” 

word count: 1356

genre: angst

“I love you.”

A salty, wet drop of vapor rolled down onto your cheek as you shot up from the bed, eyes darting across the dim room to a small bed table. Stretching your hands towards the digital alarm clock to tap the button, causing the artificial light to shine all over your room, displaying the time “3:07a.m.”

“I love you.” The words that used to haunt you the most at 3am somehow found its way into your head again: Jaebum’s never ending, soothing voice roaming the halls of your head, locked inside the depths.

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—  ON THE BATTLEFIELD; SENTENCE STARTERS

Change pronouns / tense / etc. to your liking !

  • ❛ how long have you been out here?
  • ❛ stand back.
  • ❛ whoa! are you okay?
  • ❛ i’ve got this.
  • ❛ i don’t need your help, you know.
  • ❛ you’re bleeding!
  • ❛ we need to get you to medics. this doesn’t look good.
  • ❛ you shouldn’t be fighting.
  • ❛ i’m saving you no matter what.
  • ❛ drop me! i can still fight!
  • ❛ worry not. you have me to protect you.
  • ❛ it’s my duty to be fighting beside you.
  • ❛ you cannot possibly do this alone.
  • ❛ there’s so many of them!
  • ❛ hey, there’s an escape route over there…
  • ❛ we should flee.
  • ❛ stop being stupid and run, you fool!
  • ❛ i’ll be okay on my own.
  • ❛ backup! we need backup!
  • ❛ run!
  • ❛ they don’t look that scary…
  • ❛ nevermind. they are DEFINITELY scary.

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Do You Need A Hug: Raphael x Reader

WARNING: SWEARING

Requested by: Anonymous

Could I request a oneshot of RaphxReader where Raph find out the readers so cheated on them and the reader is just really devastated and just needs hugs and cuddles from Raph?

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heart - newt x reader

prompt: soulmate au drabble where everyone has the first words their soulmate says to them tattooed on their wrist. reader is a legilimens who is in love with newt, but their tattoos don’t match and she observes quietly as he and tina fall in love.

warnings: angst

his eyes were as soft as his voice and his hair was silk in your fingers whenever you got the opportunity to touch it and his every movement seemed so caring and purposeful, so thought out, and you often found yourself marveling at how a human being could be so soft. so soft and gentle, with rough skin and calloused fingers but whose touch was soft all the same. many men you had met were as rough and harsh as their hands, as their touches, as their thoughts but their words dripped honey and kindness and sweet gentle things to draw you closer into their rough and careless embrace. he was different, in manner and intent. sure, he behaved kindly, but his thoughts were light and kind to match, and you found yourself distracted at times, lost in his head. it was such a warm and welcoming place and you found yourself calm, happy, and comforted whenever you happened to visit. you tried not to, as you would hate to make him uncomfortable, but whenever your mind wandered you found yourself dwelling in his. even when he was hurting, or sad, something that happened far too frequently and made you want to draw him into your arms, his mind was always a beautiful, exquisite, and at times incredibly heartbreaking place to be.

you were pleased to find one day, as the two of you cared for the animals side by side and you managed to pick up on a strong wave of affection from him, that he considered you his best friend. the word “friend”, however, always pulled you out of his head and back into the reality that was much less pleasant than his pleasant everyday thoughts. that was all you could be. friends. you could never hold him like you wanted to, like you knew he wanted to as well, and you could never kiss or make love or do any of the things that a proper pair of soulmates could do. you wanted to, he wanted to, and you had both realized that these feelings were completely reciprocated, but you had an unspoken understanding that it would be too difficult, too complicated, too painful, to have to deal with this once your true soulmates surfaced.

before tina came into the picture, you toyed often with the thought of just going for it anyway, and so did he. taking him into your arms and holding him tight like you were meant to be, like you had met and known instantly that you were destined to be together. this was a euphoric feeling, you had gotten a glimpse of it in those around you who had found their soulmates, and all you wanted was to have that with newt. that excitement, that electricity, that sharp burn on the wrist you were said to feel when you finally exchanged a greeting with your soulmate. that satisfaction and security that proved to you that you were chosen specifically for each other by some higher power. you wished almost every day that he had been your soulmate, that the two of you could be free to do all that you longed to do, but you knew that it wasn’t realistic.

dreaming was nice, though.

it felt for the longest time like a mistake that the two of you were so close, so in love, so perfect for each other, but that you hadn’t been chosen to be soulmates. it felt unfair, that is, until you met tina. she was a more turbulent mind than him, stormy and nervous, but with a certain brightness shining in the center of it all that almost balanced the rest out evenly. she reminded you distinctly of a fire flickering at the tip of a candle, exuding brightness and potential, something that, if applied correctly, could do incredible things, but confined to a small space for the time being. it was fascinating to watch her grow and burn brighter and brighter with newt beside her, still shaky, still stormy, but definitely steadier and less confined than before. it was incredible watching her open up, watching him steadily place his trust in her, and watching them fall in love from more than just a normal observer’s point of view. you felt what they felt, though milder, and it made you feel guilty that you still loved newt with every fiber of your being and would, without hesitation, drop everything and run away with him if he were to ask.

he never did, and you found that any idea of that was swiftly fading from his mind. you could feel it slipping, feel his romantic feelings shift away, but as he was still the same newt, his devotion and closeness to you never swayed in the platonic sense and you were eternally grateful for that. for him. it was a sort of heartbreak, however, that nobody but a legilimens could ever experience. you could feel the pangs he felt when he looked at you, back before he met his soulmate, and you could feel the desire, the devotion, the love. and as you could feel all that, you could feel and witness the dwindling of his reciprocation every day you were together. each and every day. your affections remained the same as his slipped right through your fingers and you sat, helpless, smiling along and behaving as though you weren’t losing the most important and wonderful thing you had ever been honored to have.

the interactions of two legilimens can be complicated and difficult to explain. you felt pangs of sympathy from a supportive and loving queenie, who had picked up on the situation and witnessed you listening, so intently, with such misplaced hope and blind devotion, for any trace of love left in newt’s thoughts. you always took notice of her sympathy and asked her gently with your eyes to leave you alone in your misery, to let you wallow in his thoughts, a place that was once so bright and beautiful to you, and your own misery in peace. she could clearly tell that you were completely heartbroken, and you noticed that at times she had to withdraw from you, from your proximity, even from the room at times, and you felt terrible. she was highly empathetic and you could tell that it was hurting her to see you in such pain, but she could see that there was no use trying to console you.

after years of their marriage, and years of you feeling isolated and numb, you still wondered sometimes what might have been if you had just taken his soft face in your hands and poured your life at his feet all those years ago, kissing him and feeling his soft lips, his soft skin, his soft fingers brushing your hair back or ghosting against your skin, physically enveloping you in a cloud of tenderness and devotion that he displayed so clearly in his thoughts. you sometimes spent your nights dreaming of this, envisioning that one moment, tearful and heartbroken and unsure what else to do.

when a legilimens falls in love with someone and they respond in kind, the legilimens feels the love of two. the loss of such a feeling is completely indescribable. 

it’s like 7 am, ive stayed up all night, and this is shit lol

Request: Hi! If you want could you please do an imagine where the reader is Ivar’s best friend and she likes Ubbe but they always fight and say bad things to each other so one day Ivar gets enough and makes a plan with Hvitserk. They lock up the reader and Ubbe on their hunting cabin for a few days and that’s when they get together ( if you want it can be smutty). Thank you so much ! I love your blog and you’re amazing and lovely and your imagines just make me feel so much things !❤❤❤
Note: For my dearest @raekenimages, I hope you feel so much things with this one to. Did my at most best for you cause you are as lovely as you say I am. <3

Warning: Ubbefluff and some little smut
Words: 3850


‘Their camp?’ You turned your head towards Ivar, a little confused. The both of you loved to talk battle statistics while looking over the bay Kattegat had. You played with the sand underneath your hands, studying his face.
‘What is more valuable, the princess of a king who you can use as ransom or the kingdom you have taken?’ He asked you right back. You frowned your eyebrows and looked back to the waves crashing over the beach.
‘The princess I suppose.’
‘Precisely. So if I lure that whole army into that kingdom to defeat us while we are already out and heading for the camp I can take the princess, which would give me a lot of gold and silver.’ He tilted his head because he out smarted you again.
‘But you lose your kingdom.’ You pointed out.
‘I can demand a lot in exchange for a princess.’ He whispered mysteriously. You nodded slowly, looking aside you to his satisfying grin, pushing him in the sand because he won again. He chuckled, enjoying the only friend he had, you.
‘Ivar.’ You both turned your heads around to Ubbe. You lingered your eyes shortly on him before looking away, rolling them. You and Ubbe, did you like him … yes, did you show it … no. I some way you worked on each other’s nerves more than Ivar and Sigurd did sometimes.
‘What is it brother?’ Ivar reacted, giving you a short glare. Ubbe stood still, you could see his feet in the corner of your eye but you restrained the urge to look up to him.
‘Y/n, I always ask myself when the both you will marry.’ Ubbe noticed. You turned around and looked up to that smirk laying around his mouth.
‘You should speak, the eldest and still no woman at your side.’ You fired right back. Now was it Ivar his time to roll his eyes as he let his upper body fell on his back in the sand.
‘I’m the prince.’
‘Saying what?’ You reacted. You hated it when he said something like that, that he was the higher one, stood above you. Ivar was the prince of Kattegat to but around you he hardly showed any of that.
‘You should open up that big mouth of yours a little less.’ Ubbe spoke. A part of your temper came from hanging around with Ivar, he had a bad influence on you. You stood up in the sand and turned towards Ubbe.
‘We will see how big that mouth of yours is when I beat you.’
‘Please for the love of the gods.’ Ivar interrupted your starting fight. You and Ubbe looked away from each other and down to Ivar. ‘You’re like little children.’ He mocked. You bited your tongue and looked back up to Ubbe before you turned around and sat back down again.
‘Mother needs you.’ Ubbe only said before walking away. You wrapped your arms around you knees and looked stubborn to the water.
‘You and Ubbe have some issues that need solving.’ Ivar said when Ubbe was out of hearing distance.
‘No we have not.’
‘Come on Y/n, I’m maybe a cripple but not blind.’ Now he pushed you aside. You groaned and got up, stroking the sand of your clothes.
‘Go to your mother.’ You pointed out, walking away over the beach.
‘Yeah, ignore me.’
‘I learned that from you.’ You shouted back, ignoring his words indeed.

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