and your life is terrible


“People say, ‘She only got that [role] because of her mom.’ Yeah, yeah I did.” Lourd admits with sincerity, “But what would you have done if you got offered a role in Star Wars? Say ‘no?’ That’s even more pretentious.”

The funniest thing to me is that moment in a show when a character has just died in some tragic way, and it’s just like the saddest thing ever and everyone is bawling

Then you go backstage and they’re just sitting there scrolling through their phone because now they have nothing to do for the rest of Act 2


Tom is your Tom problem.

Who You Belong To

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Warnings: SMUT, oral sex, jealous Draco

Tags: @xx-thefandomssavedme-xx, @capsbuchanan, @justareader, @jarnesbrnes, @bovaria, @buckys-shield

Summary: Draco and you go to the ball but not together, but you do leave together.

A/N: Gryffindor reader because that’s how it needs to be to let this story work out.

Originally posted by harley-quinn

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Drunk Zodiac Signs

Capricorn- Great drinking buddies. All about having a good time.

Aquarius- Aquarians are already f*cking weird when sober, so seriously weird sh*t goes down when an aquarius is drunk. 

Pisces- Overly emotional. Like, get your shit together, Pisces. 

Aries- Too sociable

Taurus- Make out with random people

Gemini- Disappear and you never hear from them again. Or you discover them in some random place the next day.

Cancer- Text their ex and cry

Leo- Become even more confident than they already are and flirt with people.

Virgo- They’re usually quiet, but when they’re drunk they lose it. They’ll judge you, offend you and curse at you. 

Libra- Try to stop fights, end up being part of the fight.

Scorpio- If you see a drunk scorpio, run for your life.

Sagittarius- Strong flirting game. Also terribly honest and straightforward.

04. two to play

Genre: Smut.

Content: Jeon Jungkook. It was but an innocent game that took a tumultuous turn

Request: Thigh riding w/ Jungkook

Word Count: 1,937

“The rules are simple,” he coaxed, “don’t get caught.”

It started off as something demure, thoughtful, an idea that Jungkook proposed to spice up your vanilla sex life, but along the way something went terribly wrong. This wasn’t to say that the two of you hadn’t had your fair share of erotic nights and kinks, but throughout the years, time became a crippling factor as job opportunities arose, and Jungkook moved into a small, prepaid studio apartment with the rest of Bangtan for easy access to BigHit. 

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I hope you know that when I say I ship two or more characters, it’s more of a “I will cuddle and eat your awful cooking and smile to you when you aren’t seeing and laugh at your terrible jokes and I would give my life for you and die if you did the same because I don’t want to live in a world where you don’t” shipping than a “Kiss, hold hands and bang” shipping.

Judge Wallace Jopling after sentencing Ted Bundy for the Leach murder :

“Mr. Bundy, I say to you that I share the feelings of Judge Cowart. I look upon you, a young man with great ability, with personality, with intelligence - you have conducted yourself well … You have evidenced every ability that a young man can expect to have to succeed in life. And where a life such as yours is wasted as yours is, it’s a terrible circumstance for this court to face. I share Judge Cowart’s feelings of what you could have done had you so elected. May God have mercy on your soul.”


It makes me uncomfortable too!

I know, I’m only 18 and yes these ARE old people diseases, but what fucking planet is it okay to say “Oh i think I’d just end it at that point.” Or “Your life sounds terrible” to an actual person’s face?

No planet. That is where it is okay to say that shit. 😐

So when you move away, step to the other sidewalk like I’m a shady trench coat in a dark alley I am JUGING YOU.

When you tell your kid that I’m “less fortunate but a reminder of the blessings health gives” i am imagining beatimg you with a chair.

When you get overly emotional and try to touch me to pray for your own soul I AM WISHING YOU EVERY NON VIOLENT ANNOYANCE ON EARTH.

My depression isn’t from the weather.

My celiac isn’t a fucking trend.

My asthma isn’t from being held too much as an infant.

My failing body isn’t INSPIRATIONAL it’s SHITTY AND PAINFUL.

Does this make you uncomfortable able-healthy folk?

Good. You make me uncomfortable so it’s fab.


someone requested so   here we go

lighting designers: like yeah you could try to fight them but they’d probs just blind you and then kick your ass while you’re trying to reorient 4/10 would not advise

stage managers: buddy. pal. please. SMs are the reason your sorry ass gets anything done and we all know it. sure maybe you could win but then your life will fall apart and you’ll be sad 0/10 terrible idea

costume designers: i mean if they have their shears with them avoid but otherwise they tend to be pretty easy to fight. your call man 6/10 possibility of success

makeup designers: why would u want to fight makeup designers???? they just wanna make u look awesome and scary let them live. plus they’d probably murder you when you don’t see it coming 

fly crew: like you could try but they’d probably just bound away into the sky like fucking deer or something only attempt if you have wings 

sound designers: like i wanna say we could kick your asses but in all honesty what are we gonna do? throw a speaker at you? no those are heavy and cost more than your student loans we’d just yell until you gave up tbh

fight choreographers: like do i even need to explain why this is a terrible idea. they have fight in their name they’ll kick your ass into next tuesday and make it part of the warmup

set designer: ok i have a grudge against a lot of set designers but also have you seen their equipment. do not i repeat do NOT take them on on their own turf. corner them in a parking lot or something 

propsmaster: man they can turn anything into anything else who knows how many weapons they’ve got on them. on the other hand if you distract them with a challenge they will likely be pretty easy to subdue

dramaturg: history nerd to the max kick their bookloving ass if they deserve it they can’t fight back they’re not history BUFFS or anything amirite 

I think the worst part about going through a betrayal, a loss, a breakup, someone leaves your life, someone proves to be not what you thought they were, the worst part about that, is that you immediately feel stupid for having trusted somebody and having let somebody into your life. And… I think that’s so terrible because trusting people and letting people into your life are beautiful things to do, they’re not stupid things to do.
—  Taylor Swift in Brisbane on December 5th, 2015