and you're like 'i don't know where it's going but i like it'

WHY YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOUR SIGN
  • Aries: You play all the time, and you play to win. You are a cheerful and a happy person but god help the ones who do you wrong or the ones you love. You know how to party and you know how to have fun. You always give great compliments. You have a great body and great physical looks. Your smile is sexy and your laughter is even sexier. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Taurus: You have an impeccable taste for literally everything, you are the biggest hedonist out there and you simply know how to live. And you love life itself which comes in many forms. You have a cheerful spirit, intriguing mentality and even a greater heart. You are capable of putting up with so much shit and staying sane, haters can just stay jealous. You have the power to crack the earth in two when you witness negativity and you will. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Gemini: Your intelligence, style and communication skills know no borders. You are always the funny one, and even while some people might think that you're a drama queen or a double-faced attention whore, you just know that it isn't true. And you don't fight them but you let them learn it themselves that you're not a double-faced backstabber who hurts people for fun. You just love supporting people and making their lives better. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Cancer: You are literally one of the sweetest experiences one could ever have. You can teach people a lot, and you can stay strong through a lot of shit in your life. You are pure, innocent, loving and caring. You give the best hugs out there and you know how to satisfy people. You are full of positivity and you always put people's needs before yours. You can stand up and keep an insanely happy face even you're being torn apart inside. You are strong and you are one of the most sensitive people out there, which makes you really strong. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.|
  • Leo: You have this cheerful spirit and you radiate with alluring energy. People might accuse you of wanting to be the center of attention but you deserve to be the center of attention because you are special and you know what you're capable of. You just want to assure people that you're a person who's capable of many things and you can lead yourself and people to greatness. You are a natural born supporter and you simply know how to make people's lives better. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Virgo: You are really a person who's great in many spheres of life. You're deep. People might accuse you of being overcritical and a perfectionist, but don't let them bring you down. Yes, you are critical and you are a perfectionist but that's because you just want everything to be alright. You suffer from tons of anxiety when you want to achieve something but believe me, it will pay off. Just stay strong and don't listen to people who say that you're very silent and unsuccessful because you have the potential to surpass them all. You are a great thinker, a very intelligent person and you are one of the biggest go-getters out there. Stay strong and you will succeed in whatever it is you want. You know how to fix people's problems and you are born to help. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Libra: You are a person who radiates with positive energy. You are a beacon of happiness and you are one of the most creative people out there. You know how to care for people and you know how to love. God damn it, you have impeccable style and you know how to dress. You are appealing and both your physical and mental beauty are dominant when you enter a room of new people. You are a big, big person with even a bigger heart than your body and you know how to give people an advice. Those pieces of advice you give, often fix people's problems. You are beautiful. You are admirable. You are capable of many things and you know how to get shit done. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Scorpio: You are a person who's capable of many things. People usually think that you're too intense, childish, evil and vengeful but you're not. You just know how to have fun and you love making people's lives better. You are a master of telling jokes. Your eyes can penetrate deep inside a person's soul and see the sadness inside that person. And you will help that person. You help people on a daily basis, even if they don't see it. Most of the time you are very sad and you suffer inside because you think that people don't see what you've done for them, and that is okay. But believe me, they do see what you've done for them. And if anyone wrongs you or a person you love, you can avenge yourself or that person you love. Many people think that you're cruel and unforgiving but that's not true. Don't listen to the stereotypes for Scorpios and focus on being a good person. You forgive endlessly, you just don't like showing your emotions because people might manipulate you or use them against you, so you might do some things (which you will later regret) just because you don't want to seem weak. But that's how you protect yourself. Don't worry about others' opinions, you're a great person, filled with positivity. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Sagittarius: You are a person who cares about everyone. You are not bitchy and nervous, it's just that you are sick of people doing mistakes which they will later regret. You are a born teacher and you are born to lead people into a new, better world. People need to start listening to your pieces of advice because the pieces of advice you give are priceless. You are not extreme and you are not impulsive because you want to be, you do it because you want to prove others that you're a good person and a person who honestly and sincerely cares about everything. You often suffer from anxiety and insomnia, but it's because you are a very intelligent person and your mind works a lot faster than other people's. You come off as a person whom everyone thinks that hates emotions and doesn't know how to feel, but, believe me, you know how to feel. You just can't stand it when people don't live just and you are born to fix the mistakes of yours and of other people's. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Capricorn: You are a deeply caring person but you don't show it as most people do. Others will think that you're unfeeling and cold-blooded because of the way you show your emotions and because of your silent nature, but you are not emotionless. You are a person who cares a lot about your and other people's future. You are not materialistic and money-oriented, you are a person who is concerned with your and other people's well-being, so you work your ass off because you know where you might end up one day. Don't let people pick with you or underestimate you because you are a very sensitive and emotional person who knows how to support people and lead them to happiness. You will be made fun of, you will be insulted, you will be hated and you will be fought but you should know that you shouldn't give up of spreading positivity and working hard to achieve your goals. Don't let negative people stop you and bring you down. Learn that you are a person who knows how to function. You are not dull, as most people think. But let them think because you needn't carry about negative people's irrelevant opinions because you know who you are, and you are not dull. You are a very interesting, funny and creative person. You are a great friend, parent, partner and a lover. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Aquarius: You are an open-minded person and your intelligence is really great. You are a very understanding person and you know how to have fun. You lead people into great adventures which might seem risky, but you do it for the sake of fun. Best memories always come from great experiences, and you know how to make people experience things. You are not limited and detached as most people think, you are a person who just thinks rationally for your and the lives for the people around you. You are not argumentative as everyone thinks, you are debatable. There's a difference. You love learning and debating, you just seem argumentative because you're passionate for debates and learning new things. You are not a weirdo or a freak, you're an eccentric person. There's a difference. You are a great friend. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.
  • Pisces: You are one of the most insightful people out there and you simply know everything, because you feel everything. you have the gift of unlimited and uncontrollable emotions, which might sometimes take advantage of you but I assure you that you have the ability to control your emotions. You are one of the most intelligent people out there. You are very beautiful, both physically and mentally. You are a natural born philosopher and you're the deepest person there is. You are not weak just because you are hurt or triggered easily, you are strong and powerful beyond limits because you experience everything both with your heart, soul and mind. You absorb people's feelings and you absorb information like a sponge. You are capable of many things. No matter your easygoing, sweet, cheerful or introverted nature, you are one of the best fighters out there and you always win no matter what, because you stubbornly go to extremes and you have the ability to go to the end of the universe and back, if it's required of you to get what you want. You fight till the very end and you know how to sit on the throne. Despite most people's (stupid) opinion, you are not a wallflower. You are a natural born leader who just seems dreamy and lost most of the time but that's because you're very intelligent and you think like no-one else does. When the topic of a conversation is brought, I bet you've already been overthinking about it. You can put up with so much shit and you can go through everything, you can run through hell and fly through heaven in order to achieve your goals. You are not weak, you're just a person with the most intense emotions out there. Learn to control things and you will be unstoppable. When someone hurts you or someone you love, you will turn into a giant shark and every unjust person will feel the ocean's wrath. You are not weak because you're a forgiving person, you are just one level above all those haters and you actually understand why people made those mistakes, and that's why you forgive - when you forgive. NOW, START LOVING YOURSELF AND YOUR SIGN.

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness

Hospital Starters
  • [ Requested by Anon about a week ago. Warnings for blood, suicidal thoughts, and medical stuff. Thanks! : ]
  • "Hey, you're awake!"
  • "Where am I?"
  • "You hit your head. There was so much blood that I got scared."
  • "Don't try to get up. You're safe here."
  • "I hate this place..."
  • "How could you do this to yourself?"
  • "The world didn't give me a choice, and now, I'm suffering even more!"
  • "You really came..."
  • "I told you I would be here when you woke up."
  • "How many tests did they do on you?"
  • "If I wasn't drugged up, I could tell you the names of every test they do in this place."
  • "When are they going to let you leave?"
  • "They said that I'll be here for a few days. Maybe a week."
  • "What happened to you? You have so many things sticking out of you."
  • "That's what happens when you're dying."
  • "It's probably time to change those bandages..."
  • "You aren't in pain, are you?"
  • "You were in an accident. You almost didn't make it."
  • "That would explain why I feel terrible."
  • "I thought you were dead..."
  • "I'm not dead, am I?"
  • "I didn't know it was this bad..."
  • "I may not live much longer..."
  • "I'm dying..."
  • "You can't die! There has to be something they can do!"
  • "I'm too far gone for any surgery to fix me."
  • "I want you to know that I'll miss you most."
  • "Don't say that! I don't like it when you talk like this..."
  • "I just want it to happen so I don't have to think about it all the time."
  • "I wanted to say goodbye to you one more time."
  • "If you don't get some sleep, I'm going to hit this button and tell a nurse you're bothering me."
  • "Don't abuse that call button!"
  • "You know that button only works every five seconds, right?"
  • "Maybe if I push it hard enough, more will come out."
  • "I get to come home today."
  • "Did you fill out the release forms yet?"
  • "They hooked me up with a bunch of prescriptions. I'm gonna be high as a kite."
  • Pete: Hi
  • Brendon: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
A story from the line at McDonald's
  • Me: okay so my sexuality's a complicated deal so let's just call me queer as hell
  • Friend: nono I wanna know can't you explain it
  • Me: well ok mainly I am asexual which means I don't want to do the do nor do I long for it, so it has nothing to do with lack of confidence or anything like that, I simply don't find anyone sexually attractive
  • Friend: right right
  • Me: but I'm also bi romantic. The sexual and romantic attraction are different, and I still fall in love and want to have physical contact with my partner, I just don't need the hanky panky
  • Friend: right cause you have a girlfriend that's pansexual right
  • Me: exactly and as long as we're both happy with not doing the rumba naked, that's a valid relationship
  • Friend: I get it, I get it... I didn't know the entire sexual and romantic orientations were different
  • Me: yeah I know it was an eyeopener for me when I found ou-
  • Lady behind us in line: excuse me so sorry but I couldn't help but overhear but I didn't know half of what you just said and I was just wondering what that thing your girlfriend was is, pansexual?
  • Me: *awkward glance at friend* oh uh I'm not an expert or anything and uh ok so basically it's similar to being bisexual, but there's less value in what gender the one you're attracted to is, at least as I understood it. So a bisexual would be attracted to a person despite their gender, a pansexual wouldn't really care at all in a way uh I'm sorry I'm bad at explaining
  • Lady behind us in line: that's alright I can look it up myself later you gave me a general idea! So where did you find out these things, you're pretty young?
  • Me: well, Internet. Once you're a bit confused about what you might be you usually go looking for explanations...
  • Lady behind us in line: so uh in theory... It's fine if you don't know, I just want to check with you... Is there a thing called aROMANTIC? like you're asexual, is there a equivalent to the romantic orientation you mentioned?
  • Me: oh yeah, absolutely! You can be both asexual and aromantic, or aromantic and heterosexual, literally all combinations are possible!
  • Lady behind us in line: *smiles LIKE REALLY GODDAMNED GENUINELY* thank you so much, I did not know that. *fishes up phone from pocket* now if you excuse me, I'm going to call my mother and tell her I'm not crazy for never having been married or stayed with one guy for long despite being 50+ but still has three children! *steps out of line and walks off while dialing*
  • Friend: wow that was... Amazing
  • Me: see how happy she got? That's the power of right information.
  • And that's why I've been smiling since this happened.
dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier
  • dad: oh god it's starting shut up i've been waiting for this for months
  • (movie starts)
  • dad: THESE ARE THE BICEPS OF FREEDOM
  • dad: i don't know what's happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
  • me: how do you even know who macklemore is?
  • dad: i'm hip. i'm cool
  • me: don't you do it
  • dad: i'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
  • (five minutes later)
  • dad: is that the Falcon? that's totally the Falcon
  • me: how do you know?
  • dad: i used to read the comic books trust me on this i'm an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
  • me: birds?
  • dad: i mean in hindsight it probably wasn't the most useful thing ever
  • dad: if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody's ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi
  • dad: how the heck did he laser through concrete??
  • me: idk dad it's nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants
  • dad: i'm sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
  • me: what
  • dad:
  • dad: nick fury isn't dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
  • me: ew dad gross no
  • dad: i really relate to that apple store employee
  • me: we all do dad
  • dad: oh that's that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
  • me: dad good god
  • dad: he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
  • dad: not that guyliner isn't a good look for this guy
  • dad: when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it's 'he's so dreamy' and 'wow what a badass'
  • dad: but when i do it it's 'you're too old' and 'bald guys can't pull off make-up'
  • me: dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go
  • dad: so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger's best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
  • me: mmm-hm
  • dad: called it
  • dad: do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street...
  • dad: captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing
  • dad: in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
  • dad: i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, 'All I do is Win' blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone's ass
  • dad: scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don't know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i'm a schoolboy again
  • me: you know on second thought we should have brought mom
  • dad: where's hawkeye? where's bruce? where's tony? where's thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
  • me: maybe they figured steve could handle it
  • dad: maybe they're all lazy assholes
Ravenclaw Headcanon

Ravenclaws are very happy that their dormitory is in a tower. Most of the windows can be climbed out of and they pull themselves onto the roof. They don’t do it like the Gryffindors do, for bravery, but for solitude. There is an unspoken rule that if a Ravenclaw sees another Ravenclaw on the roof, they don’t talk. On the roof or afterwards. It’s a safe space. Sometimes it’s where Ravenclaws be the teenagers they are and smoke, while sometimes it’s a peaceful place to just read. If a Ravenclaw is sitting on the roof crying, any other Ravenclaw, friend or not, will go and sit on the roof with them until they calm down. And another unspoken rule is that if someone sat on the roof and cried more than twice in a week, they have to talk to someone about it, a friend, a professor, or Madam Pomfrey. This is what once led a third year Ravenclaw to march a first year Gryffindor, who had somehow made his way on the roof of Ravenclaw Tower, to Professor McGonagall. He thought he was in trouble, but became very confused when he was simply asked how he felt.

Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
Harry's interview on Quotidien
  • I: Can you hear me?
  • H: Yes
  • I: Welcome to Paris!
  • H: Thank you
  • I: How are you? Can you answer in French?
  • H: Good! A little bit. A tiny bit. Très bien et toi ?(very good and you?)
  • I: Very good, thank you. We start our interviews with “can you give us your five favourites words in English or French. Or a French sentence”. Someone told me you knew a French sentence.
  • H: Comment vous faites un café si délicieux? (How do you make such a delicious coffee?)
  • I: OK, that’s good.
  • H: That’s all I have.
  • I: Do you say it very often?
  • H: No... Yes
  • I: What does France mean to you? Is it something, someone etc...?
  • H: Best people I’ve known... I think her, *shows a fan* I guess. Fabien Barthez.
  • I: Yes, Fabien Barthez. Harry, you’re 23 years old and you’re one of the best known pop-star in the world. Everybody has expectations with your new album and single Sign Of The Times. Why did you choose that song? This is not what people were expecting.
  • H: I think I wanted to.. I've always liked music that made me feel something. You know I think writing it I could feet something I wanted to bring it out. I think it's a good indicator for me of what the album is to me. That's why I wanted to go with that first.
  • I: Billboard wrote that the single was "one of the more ambitious opening statements in pop this decade". Not bad, isn't it?
  • H: Thanks!
  • I: Do you have friends working at Billboard?
  • H: I don't know anyone at Billboard.
  • I: When we listen to the song we think of David Bowie, Queen, who else did you think of?
  • H: I mean, I think everyone, anything, any song you've ever listened to growing up or throughout your life or you've enjoyed, inspired you. There are a lot of different things. I wanted to just write and see what came out. I didn't know what I sounded like to make an album. So this process was as interesting for me as I think it will be for people listening to the album for the first time.
  • I: Do you know French singers other than Serge Gainsbourg? That's a tricky question.
  • H: I know Woodkid. He directed my music video.
  • I: Why him?
  • H: I think his videos are amazing, he's a really talented guy and I love French people so I worked with him.
  • I: When you're in Spain, do you say that you love Spanish people?
  • H: No!
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy...
  • H: Great tie.
  • I: You think so? It's French.
  • H: It's not a Spanish tie, isn't it?
  • I: Can I see your loafer? Oh yes! What is the brand? That's not French, isn't it? It's Italian.
  • H: No.
  • I: That's from the European Union!
  • H: Probably yeah.
  • I: It seems like everything has been easy for you, is it true?
  • H: Was what simple?
  • I: Your life, everybody wants a life like yours, with One Direction...
  • H: I mean, I feel very lucky to be able to make music, I feel very lucky to be able to make this, I feel very lucky today being in France and performing my song. I love this song. I can't complain.
  • I: What were the unpleasant things?
  • H: *thinking*
  • I: I don't know, say only one thing.
  • H: I think when you care so much about something, it's hard to get to the point where you feel like it's finished and it feels like you're adding and it never ends and it adds up. So I think the hardest part was getting into that point and be like "ok that's finished."
  • I: You said to the Rolling Stone magazine that most of the album was inspired by a woman. Really?
  • H: No I think, honestly, the album is much more about me than it is about anyone else. I think if I said the album is about a woman it kind of feels like, I don't know, I put a lot of work into this. I don't feel like it revolves around woman. It's a lot about me and things I've never said before. It's more about me.
  • I: How did you start with a boy band and end with a solo career? Is it complicated?
  • H: It's been a lot of fun. You know we were very lucky to get to do some amazing things and at the moment in our lives, we're in a time where everyone is trying their own thing and have a good time. It's been amazing to see everyone doing their own thing as well. If I can do as well as the others, it'd be amazing.
  • I: Do you call them everyday or text them? Do you use What's app?
  • H: I don't have that.
  • I: Why?
  • H: Yes we talk, absolutely. And everyone is bringing stuff out. It's been a lot going on. It's been a good time.
  • I: This is the album cover! Can you describe it? Why did you choose this picture?
  • H: Yeah. So, I don't know. I worked with photographer Harley Weir, I'm a massive fan of her work. And that's amazing and I was lucky enough to work with her. I felt like this was what I wanted.
  • I: Why is it pink? Why the water? Why your back? Why? It's beautiful but why is it pink?
  • H: I don't know, man!
  • I: Really? You don't know?
  • H: I don't know. I don't think I want...
  • I: Apparently pink is Rock'n'roll's colour.
  • H: Apparently so. I don't know. I think it means something to me and if it means anything to anyone else, I wouldn't want to take away from that by explaining it. I think the cool thing about stuff like photos and art is you can just leave it. You don't have to explain it.
  • I: Everybody sees what they want to see.
  • H: Yes exactly.
  • I: Have you seen this?
  • *video of people reacting to Harry's single*
  • I: Your fans record themselves while listening to the song for the first time. You can hear relevant analysis and apparently they all really liked it. Do you read what people say about you on social media? On Youtube, Twitter, Instagram? Do you use Instagram?
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit.
  • *The public disagrees with Harry*
  • H: Yes I use it a little bit. I mean I wish everyone was having as good time as the girl who was like that with her hands. That's what I do when I listen to the song.
  • I: Are you the one using your Instagram? Do you use your own fingers or someone else does it for you?
  • H: Yes, I do mine.
  • I: Do you still vote in Redditch?
  • H: In?
  • I: Redditch!
  • H: That's where I was born?
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I don't live in Redditch.
  • I: So you don't vote there. Where did you vote?
  • H: London, yeah.
  • I: What do you think of the Brexit? Welcome to Europe!
  • H: Thank you very much, thanks. I mean, I don't really comment on politics. To me, anything that brings people together is better than things that pull people apart. That's ... yeah.
  • I: Yet, you are in favour of equality of rights, men, women, gay people, straight people... That's politics.
  • H: I don't know. It doesn't feel like politics. I think stuff like equality feels much more fundamental. I feel like everyone is equal. That doesn't feel like politics to me.
  • I: Your fans are fetishists. They know all of your tattoos, piece of jewellery, they have heart attacks when you cut your hair. Right now you're playing with their feelings. Do you know that?
  • H: Oh ok.
  • I: Yes! What is your favourite tattoo?
  • H: I think... I have a.. probably. I don't know, actually.
  • I: Which one is the latest?
  • H: The latest is this one there. *shows Arlo* And this one. *shows Jackson*
  • I: Jackson? All of them?
  • H: Yes.
  • I: What's the story behind your haircut? How much did you spend on hair products with One Direction?
  • H: Yeah, like a lot. I used a lot, yeah.
  • I: You're in Dunkirk, Christopher Nolan's new movie.
  • H: Yes.
  • I: How did you do?
  • H: I auditioned.
  • I: Look at you there.
  • H: I am, that's me.
  • I: Yes.
  • H: I auditioned and it was great. It's going to be a really cool movie.
  • I: Harry, it feels like we know you since you're a baby. The whole world discovered you in 2010 on X Factor.
  • *video of Harry's X Factor audition*
  • I: You auditioned alone but Simon Cowell had an idea... he put you in a band with Zayn, Louis, Liam and Niall. You became One Direction. You found the name One Direction and you sold millions of albums. One Direction are soon considered as the new Beattles and you filled the biggest stadiums. The whole world was talking about you. When you go out we prayed for your eardrums. You became UK's pride. David Cameron is in one of your music videos, your sang for the Queen. But in 2015... bang! Zayn left the band, fans couldn't get over it. But don't worry, their favourite is now on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine, he's in Christopher Nolan's new movie, he's Mick Jagger on SNL... What you don't know is that we've met in 2012. You were in France to promote an album and now I have questions. First one! When you're in a car and fans are all around you, do you see that?
  • *video of fans around a car*
  • H: I think I've actually lost my shoe there. When I got in the car... I got in the car and I was like "how many shoes do I have?" Yes I lost my shoe.
  • I: I have another question! Do you still do that before going on stage?
  • *video of Harry and Lou*
  • I: Can we do it?
  • H: No.
  • *does it anyway*
  • I: What is the weirdest question someone asked you?
  • H: I think it was actually a French interview. I got asked if I would pee in a sink... Yeah.
  • I: Ok, that's weird!
  • H: It was the first question, the first question.
  • I: It puts you in the mood.
  • H: Yeah.
  • I: What is the question you never want to be asked ever again? Did I asked you that question?
  • *Harry asks the public*
  • H: Which one? Oh crush.
  • I: What?
  • H: Crush.
  • I: Oh ok. I didn't ask it! Did you know that a French author wrote a novel about you. It's called "Styles", it's about his obsession with you. It's in French. You can translate it.
  • H: Oh! Is that true?
  • I: Yes it's true. He dedicated to you. It's called "Styles" and it's a really good book. Read it!
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Thank you very much Harry Styles for coming tonight. His first eponymous album comes out on the 12th May. Thank you Harry Styles.
  • H: Thank you.
  • I: Have a safe journey home.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I don't know if you're taking prompts but I just read your scene about Andrew being there in Baltimore and it was amazing so I wanted to ask you to write something about Andreil + neck kisses, because I feel like this is a Very Important plot point that was not fully explored. Like maybe Andrew coming to terms with the fact that it's actually his favorite thing, and not knowing how to ask for it? Ugh I just finished rereading the series and I can't get enough of these stupid boys 🦊

(Thank you so muuuuch, and also I totally agree tbh)

He hates the way Neil always pauses to kiss at the hinge of his jaw on the way to his neck. It’s like a check point, the sweet press of a power button, and Neil doesn’t even seem to realize he’s doing it. He kisses with his whole face too, dragging down over Andrew’s bottom lip and chin and throat with his eyes closed, like he’s too in love with the experience to even look.

It’s killing Andrew. It’s stoppering the air in his lungs and giving him stomach ache with how bad he wants it. You like it. I like that you like it.

Andrew hates that he likes it, the vulnerability of that bared neck. It feels like a mistake every time he does it, but it also kind of feels like he’s taken the first shots of the night and he can’t stop, like the more he drinks the thirstier he gets. Neil is such a mistake, but he’s so so easy to make.

Kissing — like this, with the covers pushed down and Andrew on his side with his hand up Neil’s shirt — feels inevitable. He can’t stop pushing up Neil’s springy cowlicks and Neil can’t stop fumbling down to Andrew’s neck and sucking. It’s so humid and nervy-tense between them, like it’s never been, like Neil is singlehandedly dangling Andrew off of a rooftop.

Neil passes his tongue over that root of Andrew’s jaw and Andrew makes a noise so low that it sounds wounded. He just barely keeps his hands from forcing Neil closer, chasing that moment where Neil can’t help himself, circulating between mouth and face and neck before Andrew directs his attention elsewhere. He just wants to stay in that circuit with his hands open and his head tilted back.

Andrew’s fist must go too tight in Neil’s hair because he pulls back frowning, lips red.

“Sorry,” Neil says. “Carried away.” He looks troubled by this, like he’s not used to being carried away by things that aren’t arguments.

“No,” Andrew starts, and then stalls out. His hand is still in Neil’s hair. He doesn’t know how to ask for this; doesn’t even know if he wants to.

“No?” Neil repeats. “Okay.” He leans back and off of Andrew, passing one hand through his own hair and undoing Andrew’s work messing it up.

“I didn’t tell you to stop,” Andrew says, and the way he’s exposed is too much — shirt pushed up in the tousle to pull Neil on top, hard and marked up.

“In my experience, no means stop,” Neil says evenly.

It’s exactly what he wants to hear, he realizes suddenly. Neil finds this humiliating way of giving Andrew what he wants without looking like he’s considered it at all.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I don't know if you have it here already, but I read this really good fic called When the Ice Melts in the Snow by Lilithiumwords (it's a demon AU). I was wondering if you had any similar recs, like demon or angels or anything supernatural like that. Thanks, you're one of my favourite accounts

Hey there! Thanks for these requests! I don’t really read much from this AU, so here are a few fics that people have recommended for me to read! Enjoy!


Supernatural AU


when the ice melts in the snow (that’s when you’ll love me) by lilithiumwords, Explicit, 59k (WIP)
Katsuki Yuuri is the worst incubus in the Underworld. Viktor Nikiforov is his human target.

A Touch as Soft as Angel’s Wings by bothersomepotato, 16k (WIP)
Victor Nikiforov died too young, so the heavens gave him another change to find out how to live and love as Yuuri Katsuki’s guardian angel. 

Dance with the Devil by Kiaishi, Mature, 101k
Viktor, the five-time gold medalist on ice skating and the demon of lust, believed that there was no such thing as an ice skater who was good without the help of a devil. As he finds one, he wants to take his soul, one way or another. 

Gotta Like, Like Those Humans by Shermanshire, Teen, 33k
“I am going to like, like a human!” Were the exact words that Yuuri had said as a child. They were also the exact words Yurri kept with him for more than a decade later as a loveless vampire. After thinking his words were nothing more than fantasy Yuuri happens to meet the Russian figure skater Viktor Nikiforov. Now Yuuri has become a thirsty vampire whom’s human crush maybe even thirstier. 

Defining a Monster by Val_Creative, Explicit, 2.3k
Survival is all Viktor has thought about for centuries. However, there’s something irresistibly captivating about Yuuri. How he craves touch, and how Viktor’s fingers eagerly answer him. Perhaps they’re not so different.

Half Past the Point of No Return by Erushi, Mature, 6.9k
The Superpowers AU in which Victor leads a black-ops team and Yuuri is their mysterious new member. 

Life after Death by 100demons, Gen, 1.2k
“I’m completely fine,” Yuri says blankly. “Except for the parts where I think I’m hallucinating Victor Nikiforov’s ghost.” 

Down the rivers of windfall light by cyan96, Teen, 17k (WIP)
“Vitya, that’s a human,” Yuri hisses, whirling, as the whole and appalling picture snaps into place.

Aveir by gawsoloy, Teen, 16k (WIP)
Yuuri’s clan has been infiltrated and all of the Aveir have been captured to be sold into slavery due to their beautiful wings, but Yuuri is too plain to be bought. Until Yakov and his servant Viktor come along. Yuuri catches Viktor’s eye and ends up being bought by Yakov to be Viktor’s assistant in their dance school, but not all is what it seems. 

Delicious by stellarlies, Explicit, 1.6k
Yūri, a newly born succubi, is in search of his first meal and nothing picks his interest. Until someone does. And he is perfect. 

Me as a parent
  • kid: mom tell me a story
  • me: it was the summer of 2001, and Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." then Patrick's like "yo I know more about music!" "that's impossible. so you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like, "yeah that's cool." and then, he's like "yo this is a book store not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. so Patrick's wearing shorts, socks, and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fuckin' reason and then Pete's there for some reason. and they start playing music together and they're like "oh, let's play some covers from some other bands." it was like Green Day, and fuckin' Misfits, and fuckin' Ramones. Pete said to Joe, "yo, that's dope, but we need a fuckin' drummer." because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like "yo, I got a soul voice," and they're like "wait how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: YEEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEEeeeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaahhh!" and they're like, "oh my god, that sounds like soul!" so they put it in a song, and it was like, "WHERE IS YOUR BOY TONIIIIIIIiiiiiIIIIIIIIIiiiIIIIIIIGHT?!" and they're like "yo that's fuckin perfect, this is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex-Girlfriend, everybody loves it. "it's called Evening Out With Your Girlfriend." with your ex-girlfriend. it's called evening out with your Ex-girlfriend. it's called eating out your girlfriend, and it's real and it doesn't matter. and Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he's like "you what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. yo, this is gonna be fuckin' doooooooooope!" so they made a record and it was called Take this to Your Grave. they made it without a drummer, and they had like 3—4 drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like Josh Freese, Neil Pert, the dude from Toto, the fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach or something, and they're like "you, we need Andy Hurley. Andy Hurley. Take This to Your Grave. Fuckin' record it." and he did, and he killed it, and he was like "bigidalililililillillilila, PSHHH!" killin' the skin, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playin' the shit, killing these bitches, rapping it out. you're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! what the fuck is going on?! We should get signed to Fueled By Ramen, 'cause thee guys know what the fuck is going on. and they were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fuckin' hard, we will sign you guys." and Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fuckin' dooooooope, dude, it's called Take This to Your Grave, it's called From Under the Cork Tree it's gonna be fucking huge." and then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real, I gotta keep it artistic, these are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called-BURP-Thnks Fr th Mmrs, 20 Dollar Nose Bleed, and Sugar, Were Goin' Down. and they made this record that was fuckin' dope, and it fucking hit on the charts like one two three, three two one, three four five six seven eight nine ten. ten to one. From Under the Cork Tree sold like four million records. ten million records. fifteen million records. and Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. and Patrick was like "that's gooooOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOd." Pete was like, "yo, fuck you I can do whatever I want." and Joe was like, "yeah it's cool man whatever I don't give a shit." and then Andy was like "eh, cool." and Pete was like "Make up is fuckin' great for a guy. because it makes a guy look beautiful, which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. and I wanna change that. I wanna make sure everyone thinks that guys are beautiful." I'm good so far yeah. yeah I do. SHUT THE FUCK. oh fuck, alright alright. Pete was like "oh my god, I'm so embarrassed about this dick pic." and then I saw the dick pic and was like "ah it's not bad." it's not a bad dick. let's be real. we made Rollins Stones one issue before Fall Out Boy. and Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed they were like "yo, fuck you guys!" they're like "yo! Panic! has the fuckin' cover for Rolling Stones, yo, fuck these dudes, we're gonna fucking go miles above. we're gonna hit every fuckin' continent there is known to man." but they didn't because they missed a second of time. apparently they were like "oh shit, we got every continent." and they didn't actually hit it. dude, and Pete was like, "WHAT THE FUCK?! 'oh you didn't fuckin' make the continent' it's like FUCK YOU!" so From Under the Cork Tree happens, we fuckin' have three-four years of awesomeness. like, people are coming in themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright so Fall Out Boy was like-- so Patrick's like "yo, we are going to name these records from under the Cork tree and from Innity-- from infinity on high." Pete was like "yo folie à deux means the theatric of two." "The madness of two." oh sorry I'm sorry. follow boy was like "yo we got to take a break." Meaning Pete was like "yo we got to take a break bro." and Patrick's like "I need time for my music. UHUhUhUHuhUUUh." and joes like "yo I need time to find the fucking art dude I got to find some fucking me-- metal" and andys like "i'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." and they're like "all right this breaks been like three years long two years long three years long 3 1/2? we gotta fucking come back man we gotta come back strong." you took my beer away what the fuck? "no you poured it all over yourself." "yeah you poured it on yourself man here." "we got to make this shit legit it's gonna be fucking dope it's going to go fucking sky high. we're going to make a fucking record that sails the skies. we're going to call this record save rock 'n' roll." so they made alone together light 'em up alone together Phoenix. and everybody's like "what the fuck? you're working with this guy who fuckin' recorded Avril Lavigne and P!nk." is this pu-- what the fuck is this on my shirt, did I puke on myself? oh god. Pete was like "yo were gonna end up on a tour with Panic! At The Disco and twenty pilots. and that's all and that's all that matters. and that's just how the fuckin' story goes."
  • Sakura: I know someone who has a crush on you ;)
  • Naruto: Is it-
  • Sakura: Not me, baka.
  • Naruto: Oh... Who, then?
  • Sakura: Well I promised I wouldn't tell but... If you guess who it is, it's won't be a problem, right?
  • Naruto: Uh right! Right! Give me a hint!
  • Sakura: This person has pale skin, and black hair, and they're from a very old, powerful clan
  • Naruto: Um...
  • Sakura: Also, when we were in the academy, they were always watching you, though you never seemed to notice
  • Naruto: Eto...
  • Sakura: They have a rare bloodline limit
  • Naruto: *scratches his head and squints*
  • Sakura: It gives them very special eyes
  • Naruto: So, you're telling me this person... *counts on his fingers, muttering* and they... Aha! I get it.
  • Sakura: Finally
  • Naruto: Hehe, Sasuke, that bastard must be pretty embarrassed
  • Naruto: Oh well, I guess it makes sense
  • Naruto: Though it's weird that we're both guys...
  • Naruto: Don't tell him I said this, but I always thought he was really pretty, not like a girl, just, um, in a different way
  • Naruto: And he's really cool, but, but sweet too, like awkward in a cute way when he tries to be nice. Plus we understand each-other.
  • Naruto: Even though we fight a lot- hell, even fighting with him is really fun.
  • Naruto: And those times we kissed... They were an accident, but damn, that bastard had soft lips. I wonder if- uh *blushes* never mind.
  • Naruto: All things considered, it could be a lot worse
  • Naruto: I wonder if I should ask him out on- Sakura-chan?
  • Sakura: It's- It's-
  • Naruto: Sakura-chan, your eye is twitch-
  • Sakura: HINATA
  • Naruto: What?
  • Sakura: HINATA, SHE'S THE ONE WHO- HINATA, SHE'S A GIRL, SHE'S ALWAYS- THE CHUNIN EXAMS, NEJI'S COUSIN, YOU CAN NOT BE THIS DENSE, BAKA NARUTO!
  • Naruto: ...
  • Sakura: ...
  • Naruto: I don't get it. What does Hinata have to do with Sasuke and me?
  • Sakura: You know what, never mind. Yeah, take him out to eat ramen. Figure out how you'll revive his clan together while you're at it. It's not going to be easy since you're both guys, but when was anything ever easy for you two? It never stopped you before.
  • Sakura: Kami-sama, I tried. I really did. I'll leave the rest up to you.
  • Naruto: Sakura-chan, you're not making any sense. Where are you going? Oi, Sakura-chan!
Bittersweet reunion rp starters(Warning:death mentions and angst) and
  • •"It's been awhile..."
  • •"Long time,no see..."
  • •"How long was I gone?"
  • •"Do you have any idea how long you were/I was gone?!"
  • •"You've/I've been gone for so goddamn long and the only thing you have to say is HEY?!"
  • •"I've missed you."
  • •"Did you miss me?"
  • •"Why are you here?"
  • •"Did you miss me like I've missed you?"
  • •"Why did you come back?"
  • •"Why did you leave?"
  • •"You're the reason why I've returned..."
  • •"Where have you been all this time?"
  • •"I thought you were dead!"
  • •"But you're here and that's all that matters"
  • •"I'm so glad that you're here"
  • •"You owe me an explanation."
  • •"So...what's new?"
  • •"Things have changed since the last time we saw each other..."
  • •"You're not leaving me again,are you?"
  • •"Will we ever meet again?"
  • •"Don't do this again!Please..."
  • •"I'll never abandon you again..."
  • •"You/I shouldn't have come back"
  • •"You/I should've have left"
  • •"I brought you a gift.I hope you like it"
  • •"I'm so sorry for disappearing so suddenly"
  • •"I told you I would come back!"
  • •"Thank god I've returned in time to save you!"
  • •"[insert name here]?Is that you?"
  • •"Are you real?This must be a dream"
  • •"It's been so long since we've talked like this"
  • •"I have no good reason for excusing myself.I'm sorry"
  • •"I left because I...I.."
  • •"Let's sit down somewhere comfy.Tell me all the juicy gossip that I've missed!"
  • •"I have so much to fill you in.."
  • •"Things were much better before you/I left..."
  • •"You know that legendary dog Hachiko?I'm just like him.At least my patience paid off..."
  • •"I've/You've changed..."
  • •"So,how's it going with [enter convention topic here]?"
  • •"I see that nothing has changed while I was gone"
  • •"Nothing ever changes here"
  • •"Suprise bitch!Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me."
  • •"Well...I've waited here like I promised"
  • •"I thought I would never see you again"
  • •"So,what do you want to talk about?"
  • •"You didn't even try to look for me!"
  • •"You left me to die!"
  • •"I/You left because of [insert person/reason here]!"
  • •"I wasn't able to tell you at the time"
  • •"You/I could've at least said goodbye."
  • •"How dare show yourself here after all this time?!"
  • •"Next time,take me with you,ok?"
Sentence starters
  • Based on famous text-posts
  • "Bro, you look so cute right now. Dude, you are so fucking adorable."
  • "Wanna watch this murder documentary with me?"
  • "I may act like I'm sassy but if you're mean to me there's a 900% chance I'll cry."
  • "I may act like I'm clueless but actually know what's going on at al times."
  • "ATTENTION: I need attention."
  • "I don't have a nervous system. I'm a nervous system."
  • "Drugs? No thanks, the only 'high' I need is the natural rush you get from commiting a murder."
  • "I think I'm subconsciously trying to ruin my own life."
  • "Why fall in love when you can fall on the floor and never get up?"
  • "I try not to sound like an asshole but it's really hard because I am an asshole."
  • "I don't want to look 'pretty', I want to look otherwordly and vaguely threatening."
  • "I'm the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know."
  • "Girls are so soft and amazing and nice and beautiful and mysterious and complex and loving and caring. I don't remember what I was going to say but I'm just gay."
  • "I'd love to relax but that's just not realistic."
  • "Contrary to popular belief I'm actually soft and have feelings."
  • "This could be less hetero."
  • "To be honest I just need a hug."
  • "Why can't I be mentally chill instead of mentally ill?"
  • "This is it, this is how I die: Lack of attention."
  • "Are we just friends or is this flirting serious?"
  • "I have this problem where I isolate myself from civilization and then get upset because I'm lonely."
  • "I may be ugly but at least I have an ugly personality too. Consistency is key."
  • "I don't wanna get involved in drama I just wanna know 103% of the information on what happened."
  • "I am bysexual as in I'm not interested, goodbye."
  • "I could win an Olympic gold medal in being ignored."
  • "Fill your heart with bees. If someone breaks your heart then they have to deal with the bees."
  • "I'm so tired of not being a multimillionaire."
  • "I panic alot of other places besides the disco."
  • "Which layer of hell do you think you're going to?"
  • "My kink is being right."
  • "My kink is being home alone."
  • "You're really sensitive for a selfish asshole."
  • "I can tell myself to be heartless but in all reality, I have a big heart and can't treat people badly, that's just not me."
  • "What about netflix and kill?"
  • "No offense but why does everyone hate me?"
  • "I'm a strong independent introvert who don't need no social life."
  • "Why do I get struggles instead of snuggles?"
  • "If a conversation goes on too long without being about me, I'm out."
  • "I'm small, queer and something to fear."
  • "All this sadness is bad for my skin."
  • "I'm cute and perfect but also unstable, violent and self-destructive"
  • "I'm beautiful and underappreciated."
  • "She's beauty, she's grace, she's me."
  • "Sorry for being awesome, loser."
  • "Is 'no' an emotion? Because I'm feeling it."

anonymous asked:

I know that you're old enough to be writing about sex, hence you don't have to give a shit about it but I think it's unfair that many fanfic writers feel obligated to write smut to receive attention and recognition only because so many people are biased. Angst and fluff writers don't really get the chance to show their talents and you can compare most of a writers fic notes and 9/10 their smuts will have 30% more notes than their other stories what kind of sucks. What do you think?

I think preach the fuck out of this. I completely, one hundred and ten percent agree with you and I am certain that many of my other fellow fanfic writers agree too – in fact, I know they do as this is a discussion that has come up plenty of times when conversing with them, and they share the precise same opinion as both you and I do. No matter the age of the writer, it is definitely something to give a shit about because it develops an “unhealthy” writing pattern where the writer, despite their level of experience with writing fanfics (though it can certainly be a defining factor for first-time fic writers and whether they “make it or break it” in the fandom’s fic scene), can begin to doubt whether to write or post a story, solely due to the fact that it does not include smut.

Personally, when planning most of my ideas, they generally begin without any smut unless the main focus of the story is sex itself, like An Oath For Sinners is. But I always notice once I am at a certain point of developing upon the idea, I will end up narrowing the direction of the plot down to two questions: “Will it include smut? Is smut a detrimental piece of the plot, and, if not, will that ultimately minimize the audience that will end up reading the story if I cease to include at least one sex scene?” It is a sad truth, most especially since hundreds of successful young adult novels never pass the barrier of kissing, or even have a romantic element in the first place, yet we as fic writers feel the dire necessity to involve at least a blowjob in order to appeal to a wider audience in the fanbase.

This is also not to say that writing smut is a bad thing because hey, like I said, I literally have a series dedicated to a girl who is an escort and it was something that I genuinely wished to write. But there are many, many ideas that I have put on the backburner because they cease to fit smut into the plot, and I have read a ginormous number of fics that have been without smut, yet are absolutely incredible nonetheless. Though you are right – those fics definitely lacked the 30% extra recognition because of it.

Continuing on, most of us write for ourselves. I certainly do, as the vast majority of my fics are based on ideas that I have developed myself; hence why I rarely take requests from the public. But that does not mean we wish to have zero feedback on a piece we have slaved over for days, as hearing the voices of our readers provides us an insight on the elements they enjoyed that we will then proceed to weave throughout our future pieces. We still desire to appeal to an audience, and at least eighty percent of the time in regards to fanfiction, you have to include a smut scene to do just that.

So I will completely admit that it is a punch to the gut to see that my smut-based oneshot Do You Feel It Sugar? has over a thousand responses in comparison to A Ticket To The Sun that, even still, has a very vague smut scene that I put in there to draw an audience to a genre (dystopia) that can be touch and go when it comes to piquing a reader’s intrigue. It might sound ridiculous, but it begins to plant seeds of doubt in my mind where I think: “Is my writing only considered good if I slather it with sex, and then more sex?” This most especially occurs if I receive a message that asks whether the future chapters of a series I am writing will include smut, which I have been questioned about for The Orange Girl, The Devil Skates On Thin Ice, An Eternity of Red, etcetera.

I am not saying that all fic writers may think such a thing, but that kind of thought process especially occurs to me as somebody who is pursuing writing as a career. It happens all the more so when I reflect on my first persona, sugasmut, which was hitting follower milestones on a fortnightly basis because these people adored reading my collection of fics that I will freely admit were baseless, pwp smuts that hardly ever breached 3,000 words. Now, I am putting out stories that generally exceed a count of 10,000 words, have fully planned out plots with much less smut and more extensive character development – but I rarely receive twenty new followers a week. I am not stating that to sound selfish or upset, because I really could not mind how large or small my follower count is, but rather to show a comparison of what most people are desiring to read. And that, very clearly, is plotless smut.

Let me tell you that there is a grand audience of those who could not care less for reading smut and enjoy a fic just as much without it, and I do certainly have plenty of those types of readers amongst my followers that I am ever grateful for. Yet no matter that, the obligation to write a smut scene lays heavy upon my own, and many other writers’ shoulders if they are hoping to branch out and reach a wider audience, which yeah, can really suck!

50% OFF Starters pt 2
  • "If you continue your attempts at flirting, I will be forced to take DRASTIC measures."
  • "I like watching you from behind."
  • "Stunning deduction sherlock."
  • *demonic voice* "by the darkest sun that casts its menacing rays of the furthest madness, we sense your intentions, (name). the gibbering of mad cultists whisper wicked words to temporal winds, they inform us that you are not to be trusted. Usurper. Usurper."
  • "USURPER!"
  • "I've heard a lot about you and your extensive collection of tank tops, like I'm thinking about getting like 10 more."
  • "Calm down little dude."
  • "the fear of drowning is a primal one. it's a feeling of helplessness, of losing all control. struggling against an inevitable fate as your lungs fill with water..."
  • "I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how to swim or how to fuck Dean Winchester."
  • "You know I had a dream like this once, you surprisingly had more clothes on, though, at least at the start."
  • "ten bucks says he dies."
  • "I'm gonna go run my feelings off."
  • "Yeah it didn't work out... for them."
  • "I have to go scream confusing, end-of-the-world ramblings at people under the freeway."
  • "I feel like I should argue this, but the potential for implied sexual antics is far too appealing."
  • "do not be alarmed! I am about to be hilarious."
  • "Maybe you should stop dragging me to these rap battles then!"
  • "I WANT YOU TO SHARE THE THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME!"
  • "I was under the impression there would be implied sexual antics, time to take matters into my own hands!"
  • "This feels a little exploitative."
  • "I need a soda. Or therapy. Probably both."
  • "Yeah it started because K-pop concert security is tougher than it looks but I just got hooked on the feeling of crushing someones face in with a solid right cross."
  • "sHHSHHshhshhhhh shut up shut up! shh I SMELL BOYS BEING GAY."
  • "Excuse me I am trying to scream my feelings into your mouth!"
  • "That wasn't hot... it was just fucking weird..."
  • "It's not what I would have you in, but I do appreciate beauty in all its many forms. mostly that cute booty though."
  • "hey, the heart wants what the heart wants."
  • "It may be hard to believe, but recently I lost the ability to read."
  • "Just because you can't read the words, doesn't mean you can't enjoy the book in a different way."
  • "boom! done. advice over. let's go get shitfaced!"
  • "Alright I brought the bitch-board for (name)."
  • "Alright let's call it what it is, a sissy paddle."
  • "calm down (name) we weren't talking about your internet search history."
  • "MY SWEET BABY SWAM!"
  • "didn't we make a pact to stop her from doing this weeb shit?"
  • "this better not be anymore or (name)'s weird porn!"
  • "Please call the police, because I look so good in this it should be against the law! uh, don't actually call the police though, I WILL incriminate all of you."
  • "Yeah but didn't they train on those islands where all those teenagers were killed? ...and those witch burnings happened? ...and all that toxic waste was spilled?"
  • "if you die, I get fired and I like this job. people don't ask questions here."
  • "fish-men walk among us. conquerers of land, BORN FROM THE OCEAN--"
  • "I don't need him to make weird pornography, I have prawns for that."
  • "Finally moving out, son? I'd like to say it's been fun. I'd like to. But I won't."
  • "hey check me out! I'm on a bout!"
  • "Sit down and stop making 2009 references!"
  • "nah, I scream enough at the unforgiving void of space."
  • "DON'T STEAL MY BONES!"
  • "You know, the ocean goblin? He lives in the ocean and if you don't brush your teeth he steals your bones."
  • "Ok I'm done for the day. If anyone needs me I'm gonna be in the tent looking at weird porn."
  • "Hey, you miss every ball you don't hit."
  • "You say 'you people' like you're not part of the family. I've got some news for you, you're already on the christmas card."
  • "You think these antics would fly at the german club?"
  • "brush your teeth, kid."
  • "Can you hear it? the ocean... it wants blood."
  • "I'm the best damn shot we've got."
  • "You know, when I was a kid, before my dad got hit by that train, he said, '(name) don't let your friends swim out into the ocean and get stranded on the haunted island of camp kill-a-teen.' and here we are... stranded on the... haunted island of camp kill-a-teen..."
  • "that's fair."
  • "hey tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumbass!"
  • "It's fine, baby, if you get scared you can squeeze my hand."
  • "now let's make like scooby-doo and split up to find a clue."
  • "In 1991 a case was discovered where a man had the remains of over fifteen victims hidden in his apartment, over 40% of which were stored within his refrigerator. do you know how unsanitary that is?"
  • "you're so cute when you never shut up. Now shut up."
  • "all hail decision cube!"
  • "that's when you started walking on the wild side, right?"
  • "I AM NOT SOME PETTY CRIMINAL!"
  • "Does anyone want to hear my tragic backstory?"
  • "Bed? But what about possible axe-murderers?"
  • "And we solved the curse of the island, and realized that the real axe murderer was love, all along."
  • "It was a good night for all of us, let's spend more nights in abandoned lighthouses."
  • "That hottie from the track team is here and I wanna ask politely is he wants to get rowdy in the back of my dad's Prius."
  • "YOU CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS"
SNK Chapter 90 In A Nutshell
  • Soldier: So obviously we shouldn't tell the public about, you know. *Gestures at the basement*
  • Pixis: If we keep secret from the public doesn't that make us as bad as the guys we just overthrew?
  • Historia: Baldy's right. We're going public.
  • -----------------------
  • Newspaper guy: So basically we're the descendants of a minority race who can turn into titans and outside of the walls is a giant military that wants us all dead.
  • Levi: Hit the nail on the head. So how are people taking it?
  • Newspaper guy: Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
  • Citizen 1: Well hey this is pretty interesting. It explains a lot.
  • Citizen 2: HA! You expect me to believe this?
  • Citizen 3: The government is spreading lies about an upcoming war so they can put us all in labor camps and fuck our wives while we're away.
  • Newspaper guy: Mixed reception.
  • ------------------
  • Hitch: Sup bitches, heard Marlow died a hero's death.
  • Flock: Yeah he ruled. When Erwin went down, he led the charge that let us take down the beast titan.
  • Flock: But in his dying moments, I'm pretty sure all he felt was regret.
  • Jean: Dude what the fuck.
  • Flock: Hey man I'm just spitting facts.
  • Flock: OH AND ANOTHER THING.
  • Flock: I still think the commander should've survived, not Armin. You know who else thinks that?
  • Flock: Literally everyone but Eren, Mikasa, and Levi. You know, the fucking assholes who put their emotions above common sense?
  • Eren: I will fight yo-
  • Flock: Oh shut the fuck up, Eren. I get that you're the main character and shit, but more matters than just what YOU feel. You should've given up and sopped pestering Levi, like Mikasa did.
  • Mikasa: *Shame*
  • Jean: We get it Flock, you have a small penis. Just let it go, alright?
  • Flock: OH, AND ANOTHER THING.
  • Flock: Jean, Connie, Sasha, none of you stopped Levi or Eren and Mikasa from fucking us all up the ass. You just stood there like a bunch of people with smaller penises than me.
  • Flock: Come on, I signed up to save humanity. If that's not what you're about, let people know before they join this organization.
  • Armin: ...Yeah, Flock's right. Commander Erwin should've lived.
  • Eren: You don't know that, Armin! Come on, we still know nothing about the world out there! You still haven't seen the ocean, right? There's so much to learn about the world, you can't give up! If we just go beyond the walls-
  • Eren: *Flashback to what happened to Faye when she went beyond the walls*
  • Eren: Fu-
  • ----------------------------
  • *Ceremony where Historia gives out rewards commences*
  • Eren, in his thoughts: I know that our situation is bleak, and if I can change I'd be willing to sacrifice my life. And yet, I can't bring myself to sacrifice Historia.
  • Note: This is a reference to how Eren know that, when he activated the coordinate, he was touching a titanized royal (Dina), so they might be able to activate it by titanizing Historia. But he didn't tell anyone.
  • Eren: *Kisses Historia's hand*
  • --------Memory is awakened in Eren----------
  • *Back when Grisha was confronting Freida, before he ended up killing them all*
  • Grisha: Come on guys just use your powers to kill everyone trying to kill the people I love so the people I love don't have to die.
  • Freida: *Glares at Grisha*
  • ---------------------
  • Narration: Anyways so the guillotines pretty much got rid of all the titans and they retook wall Maria. And there's almost no titans left on the island.
  • Narration: So I guess all the titans are killed. One thing off Eren's bucket list.
  • Narration: SO a lot of months passed and they set off to find the ocean.
  • Survey Corps: *Reaches Ocean*
  • Narrator: Another one off the bucket list. Productive day.
  • Everyone: *FLIPS THE FUCK OUT*
  • Eren: *Somewhat sullen, contemplative*
  • Eren: So... on the other side of that ocean, there's people who are going to try to kill us.
  • Eren: We aren't free yet. Is killing the people who oppose us what it takes to finally be free?
  • Fandom: Dude chill.
  • Fandom: Also who does your hair it's fabulous
  • ------------------
  • Sorry this wasn't as funny. hopefully it's easy to understand, at least.
how I see the signs and what I want them to know
  • (side note - View of a Virgo rising, Leo sun in the 12th, Libra moon in 2nd, mercury Cancer in 11th, venus Leo in 12th, mars Leo in 11th)
  • Aries: was once my best friend, she made literally everything in my life brighter and always helped me to just enjoy things and stop worrying all the time. Also great hugs. Just simply has that energy, wherever it may be - physically, mentally, staying up until you binge watched that show, giving you their last money so you can get yourself something to eat before you starve to death, always down for a talk and a walk even if they had a packed schedule. Please don't miss out on times when you just have to take a day off to get your beautiful and strong energy back. I care about your health so please don't forget to eat properly and don't miss out on that quality time if needed.
  • Taurus: a girl from my drama class and my little sisters moon sign, I am just so in love with your sense for aesthetic. Total sunshines. I feel like I can always rely on you, super compassionate and knows how to make you feel comfortable when youre not. I love that when you have a goal in your mind, you will give your everything to achieve that! Also so humble but like I want you so desperately to know how beautiful I think you are!! I enjoy your company a lot. Please don't be afraid of changes, I know that's such a mainstream thing to write for Taurus but I really do believe that maybe sometimes you need to be reminded that life can also begin at the end of your comfort zone.
  • Gemini: a guy and a girl from biology class, I am literally stunned at how much these people know. Eloquent fluffballs. I could listen to you spreading knowledge 24/7, make great jokes in my opinion and just kind of knows... everyone?? Get along with so many people, can be very chill but also full of energy when they're talking about things they are interested in. Also fun-fact kings and queens. Please remind yourself to stay loyal to your true friends, you may know many people with whom you get along with so well and for sure everyone is intersting in their own way, but it's very possible to feel lonely in a crowd. Your closest friends will always get you out of that and help you, I promise.
  • Cancer: a close friend of mine, literally the most caring person I've ever met. Actual comedians. I don't know I just straight up fell in love with your humour. All the Cancers I know have or had some extreme physical problems going on, please get well soon if you read this and you're also not feeling well. Mentally on the next level, strong and kind of unbreakable. Don't hide their feelings because they just know that when you bottle up your feelings it's never going to end well. They just get you and will be there for you no matter what. Please take care of yourself just as well as you do with your friends and family, you are a true blessing and it's definitely okay to rant or cry or just let it all out.
  • Leo: my english teacher and a guy I used to be close with, very often completely misunderstood and taken for granted, which can lead to unhealthy behaviour. Will make you feel great after a plain shit day. I strive to be this talented at just expressing myself or being confident, even if you just want the world to think you are confident when you're actually not. Cuddly queens and kings. Better not hurt their pride because it took them a lot of time to actually get to that level and in a world where people hate on you for loving yourself, to them it feels like, despite all their work, they are not worth of loving themselves. Please don't forget that although sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and like what you see, there are caring and warm-hearted people who love you just the way you are.
  • Virgo: a girl in my class I simply adore, I always annoy you with my endless compliments. Kind of just in love with these down-to-earth and sweet people. Either super chill or worried a lot, I wish I could just hug you until you feel less stressed. Smol but strong beans you can learn a lot from. So reliable, I actually hate doing group projects and always want to do everything myself but since you share that opinion we created something I was really proud of and now we always do them together. Please remember that passion is something you shouldn't be ashamed of, you simply don't have to be because it's something you love and your needs are valid. Also dreaming big, it's possible, especially for you so why not?
  • Libra: a girl I recently got to know and am already completely amazed by, literal social butterflies who sometimes only know in hindsight how much they enjoyed the company of someone because they adapt so easily and it's rare to find someone where you can just simply be yourself. Love how they view life and that they make me want to talk more. Very open and you never feel excluded because they just know how to include everyone. Please don't forget to remind yourself who you truly are and not to lose yourself in another person, because there really is only one you no matter how good you are at adapting to literally every social situation, you are amazing and I want you to be comfortable as well.
  • Scorpio: my dad and my ex boyfriend's mom, two very caring peole in their own way. I always love how sharp their sarcasm can be. Can comfort extremely well when they want to. So many secrets and things to know about them that I can lose myself in them wanting to explore whats actually behind their shell. Teaches you life lessons. Please don't forget that humans aren't flawless and that's completely okay. You don't have to hold onto old grudges, communication is key and talking about these things, confronting these people who did you wrong will help you grow as a person.
  • Sagittarius: an old friend of mine, very cute people who get interested in so many things and they are so versatile and adventurous I absolutely love their lively nature. Memes™. Total dorks you can fall for in a second. Are actually the best partners to just talk to about anything because they will be interested and share their opinion with you. Please remind yourself that cutting off people can be a very wise decision and you don't have to keep up with everyones shit if that's just not what you're in for.
  • Capricorn: I am literally so attracted to these people it's unreal, although I kind of always think that they don't like me...... anyways, my bigger twin sisters are caps and they are humble souls who really had to fight for a lot in life sadly. So proud of you. Keep up with the hard work, you really deserve everything. So realistic and pure I have heart eyes. Supportive and extremely loyal. Will stand up for you if you need it. Straight face™ but still manages to make even the most serious people laugh. Please remind yourself to not overdo it with the work, take a day off to relax and let yourself go maybe, even if it's hard - with the right people you don't ever have to be afraid of being yourself.
  • Aquarius: my ex boyfriend whom I had a crush on for like 4 years, teached me great life lessons. Will always have a weakness for aquas, they just attract me so much, how much of a fluffy dork can you be tbh? Capacity of acceptance is incredible. So much fun to be with. Are kind of just good at everything? You can talk to them about anything, it won't feel weird, they won't question it and just talk to you about that topic. So friendly, an underrated trait in my opinion, just complete and simple friendliness you enjoy to the fullest. Please remind yourself to let people not only see your amazing shell but also your stunning core, there are people who love to talk about the same things you love and nothing about you is weird, you are special and I absolutely love it.
  • Pisces: a very sweet guy I've been texting with for the past months, very open minded and also have that sensitivity I strive to have. Very inspirational smol puppy. Actual daydreamers™, may be late to school but love deeply and would never neglect your love. Kind of hate almost everything that's planned out? (I'm sorry I just love to plan things out) will hug you no matter what. Does not fear to dream big, is very talented at artsy stuff in my opinion. Please don't forget that even if it seems hard, and yes our school system is kind of very bad,we get to have that education and your dreams will be reality if you work hard enough to achieve them. You have so much potential, please don't ever waste it.

anonymous asked:

I really love your writing and now I'm pan for vanderwood i hope you're happy >:3 If it's no trouble, could you please write rfa + minor trio reacting to a usually hyper and happy mc feeling really down (because they feel misunderstood or got triggered)? I hope I don't bother you with that request, I could just really use some love and care from the baes ^^;; Love and hugs, have a wonderful day!

✿  *cracks knuckles* Boy, it’s been awhile, huh? I polished off my finals a few days ago, and while I won’t be churning headcanons out at a super fast rate, I thought it was time I give this blog some TLC!

Yoosung

  • His brain goes into terror-alert mode when you don’t tackle-hug him the minute he gets home from work. Living with you is sort of like living with a hyperactive puppy, and his first thought is, oh god, are you dead? Did you slip and fall in the shower? Did aliens kidnap you and are now experimenting on your lifeless body? W h e r e a r e y o u.
  • The answer to “where are you” is “in the bedroom, having a lie-down”. He breathes a sigh of relief when you turn over and look at him, but still, that weak way you smile as you say hey leaves him concerned.
  • He immediately asks you what’s wrong. Are you feeling sick? Should he get you anything? Do you have a cold? Have you been eating enough fruit? Have you…–??
  • This manages to make you laugh a bit, and you sit up enough so you can pull him back down to the bed. You just want a hug, you say. And some comfort.
  • Yoosung is happy to oblige. After all, he’s a vet, isn’t he? He’ll always take care of you, his adorable little angel.

Zen

  • When Zen finds you staring absently out the window, his first cheer-up attempt is to call you by every pet name he knows. Starshine! Sugardrop! Love! Darling! Gooey-sweetie-snuggle-bottom hunie bear!
  • (you smack him lightly for that last one.)
  • Next, he tries every pick up line he knows. He compares your beauty to the moon shining on the lake, he recites poetry, he even sings you a little sonnet, and when he finally gets you to smile a little, he asks you what’s wrong.
  • (he wanted to make whatever it was feel a little less fresh before you talked about it, after all.)
  • He takes you on a motorcycle ride after, since that always helped distract him - though he obeys all the road laws on this one, because his precious, precious blossom is with him right now. He takes you out to one of his special places, and he helps you forget whatever it was that upset you.
  • It’s hard to be unhappy when the warm wind is on your face and a handsome man is at your side.

Jaehee

  • She finds you in the closet of the bakery, and you apologize, because you wanted to be better before she found you. You didn’t want to bother her. You know that you’re supposed to be the happy one, the cheerful one, the person rooting her on and keeping her sane when the world is building up around her.
  • She tells you that’s nonsense, brings you a cup of tea and a new cake she’s working on, and asks you to tell her what’s wrong.
  • Jaehee is so good at listening. She’s careful, attentive, and treats everything you say seriously. She never makes fun of you, or tells you that you’re overreacting or silly.
  • Jaehee would probably dropkick your problems if she could, but she can’t, so she settles for hugging you, petting your hair gently, before bringing you another drink and some of the flowers from the rosebushes outside.

Jumin

  • You try to smile at Jumin when he comes home, and you’re doing so well, but then everything cracks apart, your smile falters, and you find you’re sobbing on the couch with a baffled Jumin in the doorway.
  • He only stands still for a moment. He literally VAULTS OVER THE CHAIR because it is the FASTEST PATH TOO YOU, and if you weren’t emotionally compromised, it would have been hilarious to see this man in a ten-thousand dollar suit act like a college track star.
  • He basically scoops you up, much like you’re a cat, and he tells you to tell him e v e r y t h i n g. When you say you don’t want to trouble him, you know how much it means to him to have you waiting at home for him, all cheerful and happy, he says that is NONSENSE. It isn’t you being cheerful that makes him happy, it’s you being you that does. And sometimes you’re going to be sad.
  • And he’s going to make you feel better when you are.

707

  • Seven knows immediately that your smile is forced. How could he not? He’s faked so many smiles over his years of being alive that he’s become all-too able to recognize the same expression on someone else’s face.
  • He doesn’t want to force it out of you, so he turns off the lights suddenly, leaving the star-shaped lights you have suspended from the ceiling as the only thing illuminating the room, and then pulls you up to dance.
  • He twirls you, spins you, is surprisingly graceful with you, despite being a total and complete nerd - though, he was a former secret agent, perhaps dancing came with the job. And you don’t have to pretend, you don’t have to say anything, you just have to… dance.
  • It helps. And when he holds you, during the ‘slow dance’ portion, you tell him what’s wrong as he rubs your back gently. And then you dance some more, because the world keeps spinning, despite the trials and tribulations you have to undergo.
  • You reminded Seven that he had a future, and now it’s his turn to remind you that you have one too.

V

  • V sits with you quietly and never blames you, even though you know he’s been through so much already and shouldn’t have to deal with your shit. You should be happy! You should be cheerful! You ARE genuinely happy and cheerful most of the time, taking him on dates and bringing the world to him, but today you just… can’t.
  • You can’t. You feel guilty, but you can’t.
  • He tells you that it is not your fault. You are human. You are allowed to be sad. You tell him all these things, and the same applies to you, too. He bops your nose with his finger when you try to protest, and you lean against him, letting him hold you and gently rub your shoulder.
  • After awhile, he brings out his phone, and he shows you all of the cute animal photos he’s taken over the years. It’s hard for him now, but he has so many memories captured on his various memory cards, and he shares them with you in a quiet room and a fond voice.

Unknown (Saeran)

  • Saeran doesn’t know how to comfort you, so he makes a dozen pancakes using the container of Bisquick you have into the cabinet and then shoves one into your face like a burrito.
  • “What was that for,” you ask, after you’ve managed to chew and swallow, and he just puts another directly into your mouth, effectively using it as a fluffy batter gag.
  • You eat that one too, staring directly at him the entire time.
  • “Are you feeling better,” he asks once you’re finished, and you reply that you’re mostly just really confused. 
  • One of the websites he’d read said that making pancakes for people was an expression of love, so he figured that would be enough to make you feel better, right?
  • You eat fruit to get better from a cold, so love should help you get better when you’re sad… right?
  • Right, you say, because Saeran is a prickly moron, but somehow his deranged antics make it hard to stay depressed.

Vanderwood

  • Vanderwood is really bad at this gooey, lovey-dovey shit, so when they notice you don’t have quite as much pep in your step as usual, they aren’t really sure what to do. They do know, however, that they should do something, so they decide to tell you a joke.
  • “Knock knock,” they say, and you do a bit of a double-take, because Vanderwood isn’t really the type. But you’re intrigued enough that it momentarily distracts you from what’s making you gloomy, so you ask, “Who’s there?”
  • “Etch.”
  • “…Etch… who?”
  • “Bless you,” they say, in a perfectly flat voice, and you laugh at how stupid it is.
  • “Knock knock,” they say again, hands in their pockets, and you’re delighted at this point.
  • “Who’s there?”
  • “Seven.”
  • “Seven who?”
  • They clear your throat. “Seven, you motherfucker, you know I don’t speak Arabic, so open your goddamn door.”
  • (You cover your face and snort.)
  • “Knock knock,” they say a third time, and you notice they look a bit shyer now.
  • “Who’s there?”
  • “Al.”
  • “Al who?”
  • “Al…” They rub their mouth, averting their eyes. “….Al give you a kiss if you open the door.”
  • You, sufficiently cheered up by this ridiculous display, peck them on the lips and thank them for being wonderfully embarrassing.