and you can feel the weight of that in many of her actions

NHL!Bitty, Part XII -  ‘A Stanley Cup Wedding’

The Schooners win game seven and dethrone the defending champion Falconers to claim Seattle’s first national title. 

Eric was definitely not expecting Jack to propose immediately after losing.

(A rework of the ‘Game 7 PVD vs SEA’ prompt that totally retcons some NHL!Bitty stuff, so timeline-wise: the Falconers took the cup Eric’s second year with the Schooners. The Schooners win the following season.)

NHL!Bitty Masterpost




Game Seven. Third period. Eric’s running on adrenaline, blue Gatorade, and rage.

Jack and the rest of the Falconers first line are racing to catch up, but Eric is ‘criminally fast’ (thank you ESPN for the lovely descriptor), and it’s almost too easy to whip the puck to Carter and wait for the siren.

Snowy can’t stop it. The Schooners will win in regulation. 

For a brief, terrifying moment, Eric sees Morin’s breakaway as the death knell of his relationship. He has flashes of Freshman year and he thinks ‘Jack is going to hate me’.

Eric closes his eyes and waits.

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Redemption // Jeon Jungkook

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the prompt: Jungkook scenario when your pregnant unplan baby he finds the test when you get home he starts yelling, blaming you throwing things,tells you to gtfo of his life with the baby saying fucked up things. So you leave Korea 3 year later you come back with your daughter and you guys see each other again he tries to win you back angst beginning but fluff ending?

words: 8942

category: heavy angst + fluff ending

author note: it’s time to see how good destinee’s character development skills are. also y/n didn’t leave, jungkook did. hope that’s okay. im so proud of myself for writing this?? I didn’t give up and I’m glad i didn’t. anyway, this took forever to write you can literally see my writing improve as you keep reading its kind of funny anyway let’s go!

- destinee

Originally posted by sugutie

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wonder (m)

Originally posted by dear0901

summary: that was the snag, the inconvenience if you will, Jeon Jungkook had next to no experience with girls. It was his best friend that insisted on dragging the poor boy from the safety of his dorm and to the nearest frat party. But now Jungkook no longer attended the parties instead taking refuge on your couch. He’d find comfort there, stretched out upon his back with your legs on either side of his body, your fingers threading lazily through his hair. virgin!kook

word count: 6,028

warning: usual filth, basically sex ed with kook

It’s the way he stares. Eyes almost childlike, shining with an innocence so pure and wondrous. Resisting the urge to indulge in such vulnerability becomes a daily fight because you stare too, except it’s not sheer curiosity that is fuelling you, it’s unadulterated lust. A passionate yearning that has your heartbeat racing and skin setting alight, a fire so intense you ponder on whether or not he’d soothe it or ignite it further.

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Vow

*swamped with homework and feelings and managed to shell this out a month late…I’m a mess™*

Request:  Hii can i have a drabble thingy game with jimin?TY😙😉 12,23 by  rebelliousjvmin

Word Count: 8.6k

Originally posted by bwipsul

He’s a literal angel


You were immersed in a deep sleep, tired from working on a large project that was worth half your grade. In you attempt to disconnect from the world around and sleep peacefully, you blocked out the sounds and all touch with reality. The sudden dip in your bed didn’t bother you, the presence of another body and an arm haphazardly wrapping around you, these were things you were blocking out. Until you felt a finger on your cheek.

“Hey, roomie.”

“I hate you.”

“You know you love me.”

“Kiss my ass, Jimin.” You used to think you were lucky to be paired up with your best friend in the dorms of your university. Until you realized he was a clingy, sassy and messy guy that never failed to annoy you. His leisure attitude towards school was opposite to your dedication to reading every word of your textbook. He was a jock, baseball being the reason he was here in your room and cheekily smiling at you.  

“I wouldn’t mind doing that.” You whacked him in the face with your pillow, wanting him to leave your room but he instead pulled you closer against his chest.

“Let go of me, you pervert.”

“You told me to kiss your ass, now…”

“I swear to god, Jimin, I’ll suffocate you in your sleep.”

“Kinky. I always wanted to test out breath play.”

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Haunting Me (Chap. 3)❤️

Haunting Me: Y/N is a normal young adult living in New York, but little does she know that she’s a reincarnation of the long lost Bucky Barnes’ fiance from the 1940′s. What happens when she runs into Steve in 2012? Most importantly, what happens when she runs into The Winter Soldier? 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x POC Reader 

Warnings: Angst. Fluff. Kidnapping. Major feels. 

72 Hours Earlier

Bucky was a hundred percent sure that he had seen the girl in front of him before. Maybe it wasn’t from face to face encounters, but he had in fact seen you. It started with the mission briefing he was given two days ago.

Pierce sat in front of him with that sly, devilish smile of his that made Bucky’s skin crawl. He opened the manilla folder in his hands and began reading everything about his mission, especially his target.

“The man you saw on the bridge earlier is a menace and needs to be terminated as soon as possible. Do you understand, soldier?” Bucky nodded silently. His eyes were focused on the picture in front of him, memorizing any necessary details. It was crucial for him, as he was expected to complete his missions without any unnecessary casualties.

“You see this woman, James?” Pierce pulled out another picture and held it in his face. It wasn’t a formal photograph by any means, it looked as if someone had snapped the picture of you as you walked about, doing your day to day things. The older man’s eyes watched Bucky’s closely, studying his face for any signs of reactions.

Bucky’s brows furrowed as he took in all of your features, especially your skin tone. You were quite beautiful, no doubt. Hydra had attempted numerous times to purge out any sort of unnecessary ways of thinking, especially the sense of attraction. Fortunately, as much as he was tortured, they failed to do just that he guesses.

“After you get rid of him, I want you do something…a bit unorthodox. A bit different from what you’ve done in the past.”

His eyes flickered between the picture and the man. Every time he asked him to do something “unorthodox” it usually meant something along the sadistic lines. The only time he was asked to do this was when he tortured a target. He didn’t enjoy that one bit. 

“I want you to find this girl, James,” he explained, peering down at him. 

“And I want you to impregnate her. By any means necessary.”

You shifted awkwardly as he studied your face. 

You felt like he was staring into your soul, into your very being and you felt so exposed. You were used to men staring at you sometimes, even if they were just giving you side glances, but the way this man was staring at you made you feel so hot in the face. 

“I think you must be mistaken, s-sir,” you stuttered. They must’ve really brainwashed him for him to believe something like that. You felt a pang of guiltiness as you thought about it. The poor man must have been abused in so many horrible ways for him to be having the delusions.

“But I-I’m only twenty two years old. Maybe you knew someone who looked like m-”

His eye twitched at your words and he ran a hand over his face in frustration. You immediately shut your mouth at his actions. He let out a growl before looking back at you. 

“I knew you,” he demanded. “I don’t know how, but I did. I saw you in my head after you cursed at me on the bridge.” 

Your eyes widened once again. You didn’t say it out loud, but he was probably having hallucinations. It was the only reasonable answer, but something struck you that he wasn’t the reasonable type. Not by a long shot. 

“Okay then…” you trailed off, looking around the room. You felt yourself shiver uncontrollably. It was freezing in the room, especially since the heat hadn’t been turned on yet and it was cold as ice outside by now. The sun had gone down all the way now and you were for sure that you were in the middle of nowhere. 

That’s when the sudden realization kicked in and you found yourself slowly starting to panic. You were trapped in here with this man, far away from the protection of Steve and the police. You didn’t see your purse anywhere in the room, meaning your phone was gone, along with your medication. 

Uh oh. 

You felt your chest begin to tighten, followed by the feeling of lightheadedness. Little black dots began to dance around your eyes, causing everything to blur. You mentally scolded yourself as you felt your breathing becoming uneven. You had struggled with anemia your entire life. Especially now, as an adult, you were having so many issues with battling it. Your doctor had prescribed you Iron pills which you were to take in cases like these, but of course, your pills were in your purse. 

Which was probably sitting in a random person’s possession right now. 

Bucky, noticing your state, leaned forward and placed the back of his hand onto your forehead. You weren’t running a fever, but you were reacting in a strange manner. He had no clue what was happening, he hoped you weren’t in any mortal trouble. 

“Y/N,” he spoke, his eyes wide as he watched you sway from side to side. You slumped over, but immediately, he caught you in his arms. Your head lolled onto his shoulder. 

He placed a hand onto your back, feeling along your clothed body until it was resting in a specific position. “Shit!” he muttered, before lying you on your back. He began untying your shoes, pulling the strings from the lace until they were loose enough for him to slide off of your feet. Once they were off, he reached froward and began unbuttoning your jeans. 

“N-No!” you gasped, causing him to jump and shift his gaze over to your horrified expression. “Get away!” you cried, pushing his hands away from your body. You tried to wiggle your legs in hopes of kicking him back, but in one move, he held your legs still with his metal arm.   

Bucky looked over at you, his face set in an extremely unhappy frown. “I’m not going to…” he trailed off, suddenly realizing why you were panicking. It wasn’t usual for him to feel guilt, but he felt it at that moment and it frightened him to no end. Who was this mysterious girl that caused him to react this way?

“You’re anemic,” he explained, although he was positive you already knew. “You need to get as much air as possible, along with any source of iron. You’re having an attack right now, which can last no more than thirty minutes without medical attention.” 

You were beyond shocked at his words. How did he know all these things? Anemia was a bit hard to spot unless you were a doctor. That meant, among the many things they taught him, they wired some medical training as well. 

You felt your chest tightening, sending you into a further panic. You hated feeling this way, the last attack you had was in fourth grade and it was borderline traumatizing. 

Bucky reached forward again, slower this time, and began unbuttoning your jeans slowly. You whimpered as he slowly tugged the material down your thighs, before discarding them to the side. He then made his way to the flannel you were wearing and began unbuttoning each of the little buttons and sliding the material off your body, leaving you in a small under tank top. 

He gently placed his hands on your side and rolled you over until you were lying on your side. You tried to inhale as much as possible, but without the medication, you knew you weren’t getting much rest tonight. 

Another shiver crept through your body, goosebumps forming along your body as the fall temperatures filled the room. You felt Bucky place the bed comforter onto your body, before standing once again. 

You had no idea what he was doing. You thought that maybe he was just going back to the table and occupy himself, but instead you felt the bed beside you dip from the weight of him. You felt your hands being pulled in front of you, causing you to open your eyes. 

“What are you doing?” you tugged your arms, trying to free yourself from his iron grip. He wrapped his flesh hand around your wrists as he placed one of your shoelaces around them and tied them into a knot. You winced, staring up at him in shock. 

“I’m making sure you don’t leave,” he said nonchalantly, his face void of all emotion. “I’m not finished with you yet.” 

You let out an angry sigh and yanked your wrists away with as much force as you could muster. “Well, I’m finished with your bullshit!” you spat. His eyes widened at your sudden courage. 

“I’ve been kidnapped, shot at, beaten and held captive against my will by you! The least you could do is treat me with some kind of decency! Why are you such a prick?” you couldn’t stop the string of insults that poured from your mouth no matter how hard you tried. You knew you messed up as soon as you saw his eye twitch. 

For some reason, he didn’t move. Or speak.

 He only stared at you, his eyes wide. 

1940

“Why are you such a prick?” 

You picked up the nearest object closest to you and launched it at your boyfriend’s head. The small container of blush landed right in his face, shattering all over his suit. You turned around in search of something else to throw, but you felt yourself being spun around forcefully. 

“Y/N, I swear on my life, I wasn’t flirting with that girl!” Bucky exclaimed. He tried to touch your cheek, but you moved away quickly. 

“Really?” you spat, your eyes narrowed. “Then why was she all over you? Why didn’t you stop her?” 

You and he had just come back from your first date, which consisted of the two of you driving out of town to another city and going to a drive-in. You knew there would be some friction because of your skin color, but when you pulled into the driveway, people started staring shamelessly. No matter how much you begged Bucky, he refused to leave. 

And to make matters worse, when he left the car to get snacks, he was immediately stopped by some brunette who was shamelessly hanging on his arm. Instead of turning her down, you watched as he laughed at all her little jokes and even gave her a hug. 

You were pissed. 

“Is that what this is about?” he asked, his tone becoming significantly softer. You rolled your eyes and turned your back on him. He hated when you shut him out, especially since you two were together now. 

Bucky let out a small laugh, walking towards you with a dorky grin. You scoffed, eyeing him out the corner of your eye. Was he serious? Did he really think that little of your relationship?

“What is so funny?” you asked, glaring at him. 

Bucky bit back the grin that threatened to form on his face as he placed both of his hands on your shoulders. He bent down so that he was eye level with you and looked deep into your eyes. 

“Sugar,” he chuckled. “That girl was my sister, Rebecca.” 

Immediately, you felt so embarrassed. You covered your face with your hands and let out a groan. You tended to overreact at times, your mother always told you it would be the death of you. She was right. 

Bucky let out another laugh at your flushed face and pulled you into a hug. He rested his chin on top of your head as he held you close. 

“I’m so sorry!” You mumbled into his chest. 

“Don’t be, doll,” he replied, pulling away from you. He peered down at your smaller self and smiled down at you. He pried your hands away from your face, revealing you. 

“If it makes you feel any better,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against yours. 

“Rebecca really, really wants to meet you.” 

“Are you alright?” you asked, waving your hand in front of Bucky’s face. 

He inhaled sharply, blinking away the memory that burned into his brain. He was right, he knew you. Just like he knew Steve. But the real question was, how on earth did you get here? 

Were you frozen as well? That was highly unlikely, as he would’ve known about it at one point. It was highly illogical, but maybe -just maybe- you were immortal. But that didn’t explain your memory loss. How were you not remembering as well. 

“Bucky?” you found yourself saying. His eyes snapped back to you at the sound of his name leaving your lips for the first time. You looked the same, from the frown on your face, to the length of your hair. How was this possible? 

“You’re really starting to worry me-”

“Jane,” Bucky spoke, his voice full of emotion. You cocked your head to the side.

Your name was Jane and you loved to wear red lipstick.” 

Alexander Pierce knew many things in this world. 

He knew that President Kennedy would’ve shaped the century if he had lived, he would’ve created a revolution for mutants. He knew that aliens did exist, also that there was life among other galaxies. He knew every dirty little secret the United States had swept under the rug, far away from the public’s knowledge. 

But one thing he didn’t know, was how on earth Y/N Y/L/N was not only alive, but the same exact age as 1942. To his knowledge, you weren’t put in a cryo chamber, or even accidentally frozen with Rogers. You died of lung cancer, for fuck’s sake. How the hell did you manage to leapfrog through time as well as Rogers and Barnes? 

Looking back on your medical history, you had nothing out of the ordinary. You were anemic, allergic to strawberries, and suffered from mild headaches sometimes, but that was it. Hell, you hadn’t been to the doctor in a few years, that’s how good your health was. So what gives? 

That’s when he started flipping through your family history. Your family wasn’t anything special, archives went all the way to the late 1800′s before they stopped. Pierce rubbed his temples as he stared down at the many papers scattered before him. 

The mission he gave Barnes was simple, but now that he went rogue and completely went MIA, he wasn’t so sure if his decisions were adequate. If he succeeded, you would be with child in no time. 

In the past Hydra had failed to create another Winter Soldier with lab work. The serum only worked in every one in a million chance, which was far too risky for him. Instead, he figured, maybe Hydra wouldn’t have to create another soldier. Barnes could. 

Not just any woman could be chosen. It had to be you. It was odd that you had popped up just in time, but your DNA was somewhat abnormal than others. Pierce was absolutely sure of it, but you had no idea as of now. 

You were a mutant. 

You could reincarnate yourself at will. 

- FIN! ❤️   


Holy shitballs! Y/N is a mutant!!

Tag list of super awesome people! ❤️

@sebbylover24 @softwintersoldier @amrita31199 @jezzula @jenna-luke @harrisbn @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @ballerinafairyprincess @gingerbatchwife @callmeoncette @bellaballanda @sebbyismyking @abigailredgrave @chou-maitresse @twinklingstarlight @abovethesmokestacks @dracu-ma-bucky @persephone-is-here-omg @i-write-tragedies-and-sins @melconnor2007 @nenyakj @watergirl1996 @marveloussssworld @ihavetwobuckystomyname @megandrawsspace @wintersoldieressiam @fridabarnes @abovethesmokestacks @mizzzpink @diana-daydreamer @meganlane84 @adrianabribiescacortes @r3stl3ss-minds @queen–valeskaxx  @winterboobaer @addictivewriter @tatortot2701 @supersoldier-buckybarnes @the-winter-avengerrrrr @the-witching-hours12-3 @netflixa @kaitskennedyy @witheringblooddemon @lostinspace33 @nottheopera @beebossinner @ktrivia @4theluvofall @the-lazy-leprechaun @behindthesehazeleyes27 @38leticia @davinaciaire @cry-me-a-fkin-river @buckyshattergirl @raeintheusa @helloitsgrc @icedragoncred1763 @sebbeanstan @shieldagentofthemonth @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @sheriwallace123 @permanent-lines @hellstempermentalangel @answer-the-sirens @badassbaker @mrssgtjamesbuckybarnes @therealgoldenbookworm @buckyappreciationsociety @dream-equine @munsurieya @feelmyroarrrr @learisa @stephie-senpai @vindictivegrace @valynsia @saffreelove @say-my-name-assbut @feelthemusicfuckwhatheyresaying @alucialunn12 @bad-wolf87 @such-a-common-girl @yknott81 @frolicsomefawkes @svetlanaabril @hellahornyvirgin @amour-quinn @tirednwired05 @obsessed-with-book-boyfriends @harleycativy @mirkwood—princess—princess @crazinessgraveyardsandcartoons @deathordesire  @sassycat15 @chamongangae @loricameback @steves-bitch @alternativelycliche @starnova143 @molethemollie @bloo-moon-freak @themermaidpirate @vacam79 @i-swam-through-twelve-oceans @academic-poltergeist @screamlikealunatic @kcsavege4134 @marvelxharry @marvelouslyloki @hotemotionalmess @beebossinner @almondbuttercup @followeroonieclassic @happily-beinghappy @ria132love @mariathedorkydragon @peoniesinmyhair @bvckys-doll @vibraniumdoll @chrishemm11 @oh-brother-mine-92 @bubble-dreamer123 @archer-whovian-violinist @ayo-minty-jess @lottaswonderland @blazeshira @thefanempress @arabellaaurorabarnes @kduran04 @monsis-world @cutescreenname @buckybarnesbestbabe @fandomlover2001 @cassandras-musings @dead-inside52 @girlwith100names

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anonymous asked:

Hili :) Can you write andreil 81 for the prompts please? Thank you <3

81: “You’re too good for this world.” okay…. I technically didn’t do this exact prompt, I took off the last word, I hope this suffices my friend, bc it’s actually:

“You’re too good for this.”


The problem with living in a fortress of knives and anonymity is that Neil can’t find him in it. And the problem with that is that a treacherous part of Andrew wants to be found, and touched, and dismantled blade by blade.

The problem with knives is that they won’t stop terrifying Neil, but they won’t stop feeling sure and righteous in Andrew’s palm.

The problem is Neil, a taste Andrew can’t completely swallow.

He puts Renee’s knives in Neil’s safe and Neil says all sorts of sticky emotional things like they’re taking part in some sort of ceremony. Andrew clicks the lock and climbs on top of Neil so he’ll stop thinking, pocketing his ‘yes’ as he goes.

It’s not just that he does what Neil asks, anymore. He tries to do things for him before he can ask for them. He tries to make things happen that he knows Neil doesn’t have words for.

He keeps one knife for himself, and he knows Neil knows about it, because he hands Andrew his armbands some mornings, and the weight is there in his palms.

Sometimes, that weight is the only way to get through the day without his head and throat pounding.

Sometimes Neil jerks awake and thrusts his hand under the pillow, and Andrew has to pry his wrists away. Neil knows protection, so he understands the slim line of a blade at his forearm is to Andrew what Andrew is to Neil.

But Andrew can tell that it bothers him, to have a knife buried in something that matters to him. He sees wintery metal in the shade of Neil’s eyes, and Andrew knows he’s condemning him to a future that looks like his past.

Still, the knife is just a talisman. Andrew is the weapon.

Before an afternoon practice sometime in the middle of the rush towards winter, Jack is the target.

They get to the court early because Neil only has morning classes. He’s always antsy by the time Andrew gets back to the dorm, insufferable and single-minded.

Andrew parks, Neil enters the code to the side door, their runners squeak against the sleek hall floors, and they split up at the locker room. Rinse and repeat. So many times a week that Andrew would feel the monotony in his teeth if it weren’t for Neil darting into side rooms or slipping on floor wax or doubling back to run in the rain, unpredictable as a lightning bolt.

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Karmic Meanings of Retrograde Planets in the Natal Chart

I found this on pathwaytoascension.com and I just wanted to share it with you because it is great information

When a  planet is retrograde, its energies are turned inward and becomes more  subjective. The energy is slower  manifesting in the external world, partly because the individual with  retrograde planets tends to think more deeply about the energies involved.  Many geniuses and leaders have retrograde   planets.

         According to Martin Schulman, in his Karmic  Astrology:  Retrogrades &  Reincarnation, Vol. II, retrograde planets tend to break the time  barrier.  The individual brings memories  of prior lifetimes into the present incarnation.  There  may be feelings of a “blending of lifetimes” characterized by the person  attempting to resolve issues that still appear to be unfinished.  The memories can be so vivid that the person   does not recognize them as “memories.” In Schulman’s words:  “He is living in a dulled phase of another  time zone whose irresistible magnetism seems even more important than his  current life.”  The individual keeps  re-living the experiences that relate to the particular retrograde planet.  

        Retrogrades operate through multiple  dimensions at the same time.   Thus, the  person may “be either behind or ahead of himself in this life while still  another part of self is not yet in this life at all.  In addition to this lack of synchronization  with chronological time, which in itself would be enough to upset most  individuals, he also experiences on still another plane, a rather unique  orientation in space.”  (Schulman)

         Schulman’s definition of a “Retrograde individual” refers to  having either:  1) 3 or more retrogrades  in the natal chart, 2) any one of the personal planets Retrograde, or 3) even  one single Retrograde planet near the Ascendant or Midheaven (the 10th house cusp is called the Midheaven).

        Again quoting Schulman:  “The Retrograde planet, with its powerful   karmic lessons being brought forward in this life tends to emphasize the matter  or form side of life, throwing man into the more primitive parts of himself  where his struggle for survival amidst the conditions and people around him  becomes predominant over the fulfillment of his Soul.  This becomes even more heightened in the case  of the inner [personal] Retrogrades (Mercury, Venus, & Mars) through which  man deals with the very same intimate, personal, and private parts of himself  which he has been struggling with since his beginning in time.”  

         It  is comforting and encouraging to know “that soul and spirit are above the laws  of karma” and all difficulties can be resolved.   Much spiritual growth can take place through the overcoming of the   difficulties involved with Retrograde planets.

PERSONAL  RETROGRADE PLANETS

The SUN and MOON  do not go retrograde.

MERCURY RETROGRADE – turns the mind inward, giving a  tendency to repeatedly go back over prior events and lessons.  The thought process is based in the   subconscious rather than the conscious mind.   This means the learning process  is more Right Brain than Left Brain; you absorb the essence rather than the  details.  For this reason, you are likely  to score lower on standardized and/or facts-oriented tests than those students  not having MERCURY RETROGRADE.  

         PARENTS,  BE ALERT – The child with MERCURY RETROGRADE is likely to be made to feel  and told that he/she is less intelligent than he/she really is.  This  child’s learning process is different, not less intelligent.

        The MERCURY RETROGRADE individual is  capable of tapping into the collective unconscious and of perceiving knowledge  from prior times.   This process is  unconscious.  Because you know more than  you can consciously communicate, frustration may set in.  You may become preoccupied with the form of  your ideas, creating barriers to the essence of your knowledge.

         Creative  outlets that require non-verbal communication, such as music and painting, are  an excellent means of expression for MERCURY RETROGRADE.  Many of our musical geniuses have MERCURY  RETROGRADE.  History is also a natural  outlet.

         MERCURY  RETROGRADE KARMA:  Relationships – with a tendency to  react to others “as if” they symbolize persons from the past.

VENUS RETROGRADE – indicates difficulty in  expressing freely your love and affection for others.  You may feel that you lack emotional  fulfillment and tend to interpret life’s events through the lens of “how much  am I loved or deprived of love?”   Emotionally based relationships can be difficult because you tend to  internalize and thereby exaggerate hurts.

         VENUS  RETROGRADE KARMA:  Relationships – reveals that your soul  carries memories of past life painful relationships and a great  misunderstanding about the nature of love.   The prior life intense emotional pain may result in a present tendency   to cut yourself off from fully experiencing the richness of love—out of fear of  being hurt once more.  You will tend to  react to the present as if it is the past, thereby pre-programming your present  love relationships.  You tend to block yourself  from happiness by trying too hard to achieve it.

         PARENTS:  Encourage your VENUS RETROGRADE child to engage in all activities that add beauty,  art, and love to his/her daily life.  VENUS  is the planet of beauty; teach your child to think and create in terms that  focus on enhancing life’s situations.   Loving an animal may be helpful; just make sure the child is also   learning to love people freely and within the present context.

MARS RETROGRADE – shifts the outward thrust of energy  characteristic of MARS and directs it inward.   You will tend to expend a lot of energy reliving internally your past  experiences.  Because you are constantly  to the past, you may inflict past life roles upon the persons in your present   life’s environment.  There is a strong tendency to place priority upon  fulfilling your spiritual desires, resulting in neglect of the physical body’s  needs.   An intentional focus on holistic  growth is needed.  Sexual experiences  can be less fulfilling because your energy is turned inward.  However, sex that is deeply rooted in love   between two partners and that strives for a mutual spiritual orgasm can be a  much more natural expression for MARS RETROGRADE.  

         MARS  RETROGRADE KARMA – indicates your actions  tend to be an effort to recreate situations from your prior lifetimes. You may expend energy in attempting to find people  in the present who can symbolize those who fulfilled you in the past.  You may try to act out all that you could not  express in prior lifetimes.  You may   over-react when your efforts fail to produce your desired results.  This over-reaction can result in “coming on”  too strongly, only to have people pull back.

JUPITER

Rules the Eternal  Self, the Planet of Wisdom

Jupiter is a source of enthusiasm, optimism, and the urge to seize the  opportunities offered to you in life.

JUPITER RETROGRADE turns its energy of expansion  inward, so that much inner growth takes place, often through spiritually  oriented studies.  JUPITER RETROGRADE tends to procrastinate and to plan, then  re-plan, to the point of failing to get anywhere with the thoroughly planned  project.  JUPITER RETROGRADE offers the opportunity for a highly spiritual  incarnation. You must seek your own Truth; for, the mundane and status quo is  likely to leave you feeling discontent.    You are a free-spirit and  cannot follow happily in the footsteps of others.  Great wisdom and prophetic ability can be  present, especially as you attain spiritual maturity.  JUPITER RETROGRADE can bring many déjà-vu   experiences; you can feel at home anywhere on the planet. 

THE DWELLER ON THE  THRESHOLD

The planet of self-discipline,  SATURN’s goal for you is perfection.

SATURN helps us  bear our karma and successfully pass our tests.  Until we willingly accept  self-discipline, we experience SATURN as feelings of limitation, deprivation,  delay, and disappointment.  SATURN’s  true desire is to grant us wisdom and compassion.

SATURN RETROGRADE is your signal that you are re-doing a lifetime.  This incarnation is your 2nd chance; thus, you will feel the burden of dealing with two lifetimes at  once.  You can, therefore, experience  inner doubts about your self-worth and your ability to overcome  difficulties.  The good news is that your  soul knows you have achieved the spiritual maturity required to re-do  successfully a lifetime.  You have in  prior lifetimes advanced through great personal struggles and sacrifices.  Now, as you learn to flow with SATURN’s  discipline, you will be rewarded with enormous wisdom.  SATURN is comfortable in RETROGRADE motion, and  as you flow with it, you develop the capacity to tap into all of your past life  wisdom and talents.  SATURN RETROGRADE is a sign of an old Soul who has advanced far on the  spiritual path.  Now, you have incarnated to perfect what you have learned. 

         SATURN  RETROGRADE KARMAthe re-doing of a  lifetime, with the extra weight that entails.  SATURN RETROGRADE will be serious about  getting it right this time.

OUTER RETROGRADE  PLANETS

URANUS RETROGRADE – creates difficulty in being  aware of and expressing your inner individuality.   There can be a rediscovery of ideas from  previous lifetimes.  URANUS RETROGRADE  gives you a compelling sense of responsibility toward personal growth because  you sense that human progress as a whole is enhanced as well.  You  are a forerunner of the future, very tapped into the richness of life.  You must be original; you must explore the  new; you must share your ideas with others.   You are a free spirit and  cannot be bound by seeking to have others understand what you are about.  Your path may be long and crooked, but you  can know extreme happiness while traveling it.

         URANUS  RETROGRADE KARMA – relates to karmic  family and societal difficulties. In  your efforts to both relate to others and to reform, your unconscious mind can  be transformed.  URANUS RETROGRADE can  play havoc with relationships because of your changeability, which can make you   appear hypocritical.  Your mental and  emotional bodies may struggle with each other, as you know you need to do one  thing while feeling that you need to do another.  URANUS RETROGRADE would have you lift your  consciousness above the emotional/mental bodies and focus on the intuitive  body.

NEPTUNE RETROGRADE – gives the desire to unveil mysteries and to expose religious shams.   You will have an intuitive awareness of  your subconscious mind, but may have difficulty making conscious  attunement.  NEPTUNE RETROGRADE attunes  much easier to the subconscious/unconscious when the focus is diverted by the  use of a tool, such as astrology, or while the conscious mind is occupied with  the task at hand.  It is, therefore, important to listen to and heed insights  that appear to come to you from “out of the blue.”

         NEPTUNE  RETROGRADE indicates the urge to view the material world in terms of its  significance to the Soul and its growth.   Thus, NEPTUNE RETROGRADE offers you the opportunity to achieve a very  advanced stage of spiritual evolution during this incarnation.  NEPTUNE RETROGRADE requires that you live in   the material world while remaining separate from it.  To  others, you will seem to lack the common sense that motivates the behavior of  others.  Instead, you vibrate to a  higher music, possessing a direct attunement with your Soul.  You are much more in touch with the cosmos  than the material world and know far more than you can express in words.

         NEPTUNE  RETROGRADE KARMA – You are living through a karma of learning how to distinguish between the dreams that will  bring true fulfillment and those that simply appear to do so.  This learning process can mean that you  attempt living one dream after the other.   Because NEPTUNE RETROGRADE, functioning on the personality-centered  level, can be confusing, you may tend not to trust your intuition—even though  you are highly intuitive

PLUTO RETROGRADEturns its transformative energy even more deeply into the   superconsciousness, bringing about an inner illumination long before you are  able to give it expression in the outer world.  PLUTO RETROGRADE indicates a carry-over of psychic powers from  previous lifetimes. These powers are  to be used in constructive ways only.   You will feel the struggle humanity is going through within yourself—humanity’s struggle is your struggle. You are aware of and feel responsible for  lifting your conscious awareness so that the consciousness of humanity can be  thereby lifted.

         PLUTO  RETROGRADE KARMA – A karmic debt is  owned to humanity stemming from the age indicated by the sign in which PLUTO is  located.  This debt is to be paid  through selfless service to humanity.  Tremendous spiritual growth is possible;  you have the opportunity to rise above the karma of the human race and step off  the wheel of rebirth.  PLUTO RETROGRADE  joins NEPTUNE RETROGRADE in asking that you live in the world, while remaining   separate from it.

I did not write this but you can message me if you have any questions :)

Never Enough

Summary: Stiles is bummed about Lydia not liking him. You’re hurt inside because you’ve always loved him. After Stiles gets back from being beaten up, Lydia leaves to find Jackson. (This was when he was a Kanima). His dad sits down to talk with him.

Ship: Stiles x Fem!Reader, Isaac x Fem!Reader

Warnings: sadness, fluff, angst, heartbreak.

Your P.O.V

I lean against my locker, forcing my gaze away from Stiles. He trailed after Lydia, who hadn’t a care in the world. In fact, she looked like she didn’t think Stiles existed. It was as if he was a fly on a wall. I watch the interaction, a pang in my chest began to grow. I have to admit, I’d always loved him. Stiles, I mean. But, to him, I was never enough. Even when we were younger, I was never beautiful in his eyes. It was excruciatingly obnoxious. I glance at Scott, who stood not far from Stiles. He gave me a pitiful smile. Even before he got his powers he knew I loved Stiles. He knew the interaction broke my heart. 

I sent him a smile he knew was fake before walking off. I couldn’t stand to watch it happen again. I am so tired of doing the same thing over and over again. I shake my head to distract myself. The game was tonight so I had to focus. Instead of meeting the pack for lunch in the cafeteria, I made my way to the lacrosse field to practice. I slip on my headphones, blasting them as loud as I possibly could. The more I hit the net, the angrier I got. When I missed the last shot, tears started to corrode in the crooks of my eyes. Not now.. not here.. I pack up my stuff and head home, not bothering to finish my last class. I was never enough… No matter how hard I tried- I would never be enough in his eyes..

Later That Night..

I sat down next to Scott, watching the game begin. I was a little late so I wasn’t able to be there for Coach to pick me. When he saw me though, he lit up. “(Y/n)! We were looking for you everywhere! You’re up to change next!” I nodded, putting on a forceful smile. A few seconds later, a person I didn’t expect to see sat down next to Scott. “Isaac??” I asked, perplexed. “What’re you doing here??” He smirked. A random sensation making its way into my body. A flutter.. of warmth? “I’m here to win. So-” he said looking at Scott. “What’s the plan?” Scott glanced between the two of us, smiling genuinely.

“(Y/n), Issac and you will be up soon. You’ve gotta knock enough people out so I can be on.” We nod in agreement before I made my way into the field. I glance back at Stiles, his eyes on Lydia, who was sitting next to Melisa. She wasn’t even looking back at him. She was watching Jackson. I roll my eyes huffing. Moments like these made me happy that I joined lacrosse. I noticed as soon as I made my way onto the field, the players seemed to tense up. I was the most aggressive player. People from other teams called me merciless. Which I was.

Isaac’s goal was to get as many of our players out so that Scott could get in. My goal was to destroy the other team and stall the game as long as I could. The mere thought of being Scott’s primary weapon made me feel powerful. I was fast. Too fast for any of them to catch. My adrenaline level had sky rocketed. And with this new found anger, I was ready for anything. I squat down low, eyeing each of the boys like they were my prey. My gaze halted when I found a large one. He was tall, really tall. But he was buff with a lot of weight. Ya know what they say, the bigger they are the harder they fall. 

My breathing began to pick up as I stalked back and forth. I could tell there was a massive uneasiness between the boys on the other team. I guess my reputation proceeded me. The second they blew the whistle, I bolted across the field, faster than anyone of them could have predicted. Before the burly boy knew it, I dug my body weight from under his feet and through him over my shoulders. His face smacked the dirt like a sack of pudding hit a brick. The crowd ‘oohed’ at my harsh actions. One our players peered over at me, tossing over the ball as soon as I got up from drilling the boy. I ran across the field, dodging every move that came my way.

Finally there stood a boy a few feet in front of me. I smirk, barreling towards him, I push him out of the way before making the goal. However, Coach screamed louder than the rest. They called the point and we started again. Isaac was finally able to get Scott in, however he had to sit out due to an injury. I nod at him, saying with my eyes that it would be okay. Even after though, I felt his gaze harden on me. Something was different with him. I shake my head, pulling my focus back on the game. I paced back and forth, picking my next prey. The whole time though, I felt a pair of eyes watching me. Scott… It was a look of worry, something I was use to seeing from him. 

But the look he wore seemed a little different. Not worry for me. Confusion and worry. Confused as to how I was able to do what I did and worried for how heartbroken I actually was. I tore my gaze away, focusing on the game. Stiles scored the last few shots, winning the game for us. I was about to hug him when I realize his gaze was on her. It always was. And then, the lights went out. Screams and shouting echoed the field. I remove my helmet, trying to adjust to my surroundings. And then, the lights came on. People surrounded Jackson, who was apparently dead. 

Scott, Isaac and I exchanged confused glances. Mr. Stilinski broke through, shouting. “STILES?! WHERE IS MY SON?!” Oh my god.. They had him.. The rest of the night, I never left the Sheriffs side. I helped put out missing reports and slept in the police station, refusing to leave until he was found. Mr. Stilinski sat down next to me, two cups of coffee in his palms, handing one over to me, I smile as my inaudible thank you. He leans into me, whispering in a fatherly tone. “Why don’t you go home? Get some sleep, sport.” He only called Stiles and I that. I shake my head. “I won’t leave him. I won’t sleep tonight anyways..” He sighs, smiling down at me. “C'mon, you can stay at our house till he comes back.” I nod, taking a deep breath.

Originally posted by hopesanddreams321

Third P.O.V

The moment we get home she sits down on the edge of his bed. (Y/n) didn’t sleep all night and all day. Mr. Stilinski coaxed her into changing into normal clothes. Besides that though, she remained in his room, at the foot of his bed. Despite her harsh and unhealthy attempts, (Y/n) finally fell asleep, teary eyed with dark circles, she was wrapped in a ball at the edge of his bed. Little did she know, Mr. Stilinski came in, pulling a blanket over her before sitting down at Stiles’ desk. He glanced down at her, sighing. “Where is my son..” A voice croaked from the door. “Right here..” It was.. Stiles. Mr. Stilinski stood up, crying as he hugged his son for dear life.

Originally posted by bestiadelgevaudan

After a few seconds though, he noticed the dark bruises and marks that cascaded across his face. “Who did this to you?!” He asked with quiet anger, remembering that (Y/n) was still well asleep. Stiles shook his head. “Dad- it was no one- just some kids at the other school who weren’t too happy that we beat them-” He interjected, angry. “I’m gonna have a word with that school-” Stiles shook his head. “No- dad- I’m fine-” Mr. Stilinski pulled him into a hug once more before letting him wake up (Y/n), who laid sleeping peacefully for the first time in god knows how long.

Your P.O.V

I curled myself deeper into his blankets, breathing in his comforting scent. Seconds later, I hear a mermir of two voices. It stirs me slightly, but doesn’t wake me. Minutes go by before I force and pry my droopy eye lids open there stood on outline of a boy. And then I realized, it was Stiles. Automatic joy rushed through me as i bolted up and off the bed, tackling him onto the floor. I sat on his lap, face burrowed in his neck. I started to shake. “Stiles- I-” He nodded, understandingly wrapping his arms around me. After a few minutes, I let go, eyes wide at his bruises. “Stiles! Oh my god! Who did this to you?!” He takes my wrists, sighing. “I’m fine, (Y/n).” 

With one of his thumbs he wiped away a tear. “I was so worried about you.. I thought-” My voice croaked. He pulls me into another warm hug. After talking for a little longer, he finally coaxes me to head on home. I hug him and Mr. Stilinski again before heading home. However, the whole trip home, I couldn’t help but feel broken. I noticed the endless presents on his desk, all of which were for Lydia. And guess where she was? With Jackson.. Always with Jackson. I hated this empty feeling.. I plug my headphones in, blasting the music. I needed to move on.. 

The minute I walked in the door, my phone buzzed. I glanced down to see that it was from Isaac. We need your help. Meet us at the abandoned warehouse down the street. I look up from my phone, with a determined look. I drop my bag and sprint upstairs, shuffling through my belongings to open up my weapons. After grabbing them, I got in my mustang and headed over to the warehouse. 

Third P.O.V

Mr. Stilinski let Lydia in. She headed upstairs, knocking on his door. “I’m fine, Dad.” The knock came again, Stiles huffed, whipping open the door. “I said I’m fine-” He stopped when his eyes fell on Lydia. “Your dad let me in.” She muttered quietly. A heavy blush rushed through his cheeks. “Uhh- come in.” Cautiously, she did. “What happened to your face?” He shrugged, trying to play it cool. “Pff- it’s nothing-” Lydia didn’t bother to press on. Stiles couldn’t help but feel an empty whole in his heart. He wanted her to love him. After a few seconds of silence, he walked over to see her teary. 

“They won’t let me see him..” Jackson. He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t.. What could he possibly say that would ease her? They sit at the edge of his bed. Lydia stands to pace, something that bought her strange comfort. Her eyes soon fell upon a massive pile of presents, mostly unwrapped. “Stiles, why do you have feminine products?” His eyes went wide as he scratched the back of his neck, cheeks flushed. “I wasn’t sure what to get you for your birthday, so I just bought a bunch of stuff. Most of which, I’m gonna return.” She pointed at the TV, with a confused expression. 

“That, I’m definitely returning.” All of a sudden, she got a text. “You’re gonna wanna see this.” Jackson’s gone. “I have to find him.” Stiles stopped in front of her. “Lydia- it’s not safe- you have no care in the world about your life- but if you die- I’ll go out of the fricken mind!” She rolled her eyes, pushing past him. “Fine. I’ll find him myself.” Stiles called after her, huffing. “Lydia!” She walked out, her strawberry blonde hair bounced up and down as she slammed the door. Stiles didn’t bother following her. He rested his head on the palm of his hand, moving his feet around in the spiny chair. 

Originally posted by loveahale-blog

A few seconds later, Mr. Stilinski leaned against the doorway. “So, you and her? Is there a thing there?” Stiles shakes his head, a sad expression plastered on his face. “No, she’s in love with someone else.” His dad chuckled slightly. Stiles asked puzzled. “What’s so funny?!” Mr. Stilinski shook his head, sitting down next to his oblivious son. “Son, if you haven’t noticed by now- I don’t think you ever will. I know this is not my business but a girl we’ve both known our whole lives has liked you just as long, if not longer, than the girl you were just with. Get some sleep, sport.” And with that, he left stiles to ponder his thought. However, no matter how hard he tried to think, he couldn’t think of anyone.

Your P.O.V

I pull into the warehouse parking lot. Scott and Isaac stood before me. “I told you not to call her!!” Scott hissed at him. I shake my head, smirking. “With what may or may not go down tonight, you’re gonna need all the help you can get.” I could have sworn Isaac’s eyes raked up and down my body before glancing back at Scott. “She’s right-” He said, biting his lip. “We need her.” Scott rolled his eyes before reluctantly heading in. Deep down, I was like a sister to him and a daughter to Melisa. I understood that he didn’t want to see me get hurt. I mean, I was human after all. To him, I was precious cargo. When we walk, I look over to see Mr. Argent. I was close with Allison so that brought me even closer to Chris. We respected each other. He shakes my hand, a small smile on his face.

“It’s good to see you, (Y/n).” I grinned. “You too, Mr. Argent.” All of a sudden, he tenses up. I run over my shoulder to see Derek walking out dramatically from the darkness. I can’t help but roll my eyes. He looks at all of us before stalking towards Jackson’s body. Scott questioned his motives, looking for something- someone else. “Wait! Where’s Lydia and Peter?!-” Derek mutters, unzipping the body bag. “There’s no time-” He interjected, roughly. “Think about it Scott! Gerard is just going to keep using Jackson- killing more people who dare to get in his way!” Mr. Argent took a few steps forward, shaking his head in denial. “No, no- that’s not true! Gerard wouldn’t let a wild animal let loose!” All of a sudden, another voice interrupted the argument. “You’re right, I wouldn’t.”

I turn over my shoulder to see.. Gerard. And in a matter of seconds, everything went to shit. An arrow shot out from behind Gerard. Scott and I croak at the same time. “Allison?” He had her too. I turn over my shoulder to see Isaac fall down. The arrow. Scott and I run over to him, Derek on the other hand, was thrown into the other room. Mr. Argent shot at the Kanima, Jackson, before running from him. “I’ll make sure he’s okay- GO! Help Chris!” I say towards Scott. Isaac nods, reassuringly. Scott looked between the two of us before running to the other room. I turn my attention back to Isaac. He laughs, despite the pain. “Ya know, (Y/n). Of all the ways to steal my heart- this has to be the worst.” I can’t help but smile. “Isaac, if I was gonna steal your heart- this wouldn’t be my first choice.”

I wrap my hands around the arrow, pulling it out. He groans, his head falling back. My heart picks up slightly at how attractive he looked in this moment. “How would you steal my heart then, (Y/n)?” Automatically, I blush. “I have a few ideas-” I say, winking at him before pulling him up and off the floor. I touch his chest with my hand. The interaction was sweet. “You okay?” He nods, stuttering slightly. I could have sworn his face flushed. “Uhh-yeah- I’m good. Let’s go.” We enter seconds before Derek is thrown to the ground. He gets up and we surround the Kanima. It was as if a whistle blew because in no time, we were fighting in unison. The Kanima, Jackson, threw Scott and Derek to the side. Isaac laid on the floor, not too far from me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vxWgUe-DUU&t=59s

Jackson made his way towards him. And in that moment, it was as if all my pain washed away and the only thing that mattered, was Isaac. I push myself up and run at Jackson with full force. I drop kick him in the stomach before jumping up to punch him. He falls to the ground with a loud thud. “DON’T!-” I punch. “EVER!-” I punch again. “TOUCH!-” And again. “HIM!-” I wrap my hands around his scaly collar, using all my strength and adrenaline to throw him against the concrete wall. It snapped in half. I was fuming, pulsating with energy and rage. It was a new found feeling. And I liked it. I could have sworn I saw a look shared between Isaac, Scott, Derek and Mr. Argent. And then, the adrenaline left. I fall to one knee, looking up to see Isaac holding his side, a smile on his face. However, it quickly fades when knife shards slice through him.

Originally posted by giinaslinetti

He spits out blood, falling to the floor. “NOO!!” I exclaimed. Allison snickered over his body, her daggers at the ready. Desperately, I begin to crawl over to her. However, before she could make any moves, her weapons fell to the ground with a loud clank. Jackson wrapped his scaly claws around her neck, choking her slightly. She gasps, looking over to Gerard with confusion. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” He comes out from the shadows, smirking. Scott watched the interaction with fear. “He’s doing exactly what he came here to do.” Gerard smiled at him. “You knew.. You smelled it on me- at the station.” Isaac croaked, sitting up. “He’s dying..” He nodded. “Sadly, science doesn’t have a cure for cancer- but the supernatural does.” Mr. Argent barked at him, watching his daughter cautiously.

“You monster!! You took away my sister, my wife and now, now you threaten my daughter-!!” Gerard growled back at him. “I WOULD KILL MY OWN SON TO SURVIVE!” He turned his attention back towards Scott. “You know what you have to do Scott.” He looks down, ashamed before lifting Derek up. I push myself up, watching the interaction closely. Gerard lifted his hand up to the sky, letting out a victory cry. However, it was no victory. Seconds later, black goo dropped down his arm. He cried out in pain, glaring daggers at Scott. “MOUNTAIN ASH!!!” Scott glanced back and Derek and I, smiling. “I had a plan.” I couldn’t help but grin. Gerard crumpled to the ground, groaning. Jackson let go of Allison, puzzled now that his master was dead.

Originally posted by lovablecouples

Allison turned over her shoulder to kick him away. The minute she did so, a car ran through the door, running Jackson over. I force myself up despite the pain that emulated in my side. Isaac ran over to me, wrapping his hands in my face. “Are you okay?” I nod, looking over to see Rosco. Stiles shrieked as Jackson jumped on top of the car. Lydia hopped out. An empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. He stuck to her, not even bothering to check on anyone else. She stood in front of Jackson, almost weeping. She croaked, holding up the key that he had given her. “Jackson?” The moment he saw it, he shifted back to a human. He hugged her as if his life deepened upon it. The minute they pulled away from each other, Derek and Peter came in for the kill. Lydia gasped, cradling his now lifeless body.

Originally posted by inveens

She reluctantly pulled herself away from him. Stiles took a step forward to comfort her. It made my heart break to watch him throw himself at her. However, he paused. We all looked down at him. He rose up, howling before he let out a growl and turned back to normal. Holy shit.. Lydia lunged forward, clinging to him. I glanced back at Stiles. His eyes were wet from heartbroken tears. I was so mad- how could someone as selfish as Lydia do that to someone like Stiles. He gave her everything. And she continued to treat him like dirt.. I turned over my shoulder. Not even daring to say goodbye. But as soon as I started walking, I felt dizzy and disoriented. And then, everything went black.

Third P.O.V

Isaac watched (Y/n) fall to the ground. Before she hit the concrete though, he caught her, concern washing over his feature. “(Y/n)!?! Scott! I need help! I think she’s lost too much blood!” He ran over to her. As did Allison, Mr. Argent, Derek and Stiles. Isaac lifts her up, cradling her now cold body. “SCOTT-!” He exclaims, petrified. “-SHE’S FREEZING!” Scott glanced at Stiles in fear, (Y/n) meant everything to them. “OKAY- C’MON! Deaton will know what to do!!” They hop in the Stiles’ jeep. Isaac held (Y/n) close to him. He couldn’t help but begin to feel something for her. Little did he know, he was falling for her. He brushed a lock of hair out of her face with his thumb. The interaction was so small yet so intricate. 

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines

Stiles drove fast, desperate to help his friend. But deep down, a strange feeling began to bubble inside. It began when he first noticed the intimacy between his dear friend, (Y/n), and the fairly new werewolf, Isaac. The soft touches and lingering looks bothered him to no end. But why would it? Finally, they pulled up to Deaton’s office, shuffling in. An hour pasted before Deaton came out from examining (Y/n). “So, how is she?” Isaac asked, his tone full of genuine concern. He glanced back at her body before eyeing the boys. The rest of them arrive seconds later before the doctor spoke again. “How’s (Y/n)?” Mr. Argent asked, his daughter at his side. Deaton sighed, rubbing his temples. “I was just about to tell the boys before you burst in. Did anything happen to (Y/n) when you fought? Like, did you notice anything out of the ordinary?” 

Scott nodded, glancing between Derek, Isaac and Mr. Argent, who saw the events transpire. “Yeah, she threw Jackson, in Kanima form, across the room and broke the concrete wall in half. She’s human-” Stiles interrupted, wide eyed. “Wait- she THREW Jackson?!?! In KANIMA form?!?!” Derek nodded, jaw tight. “I’ve never seen that kind of power before..” And in that moment, they all looked back at her. Her body was motionless. Stiles looked at his best friend memories of their childhood flouded in his head. “What’s wrong with her..?” His voice croaked. Deaton sighed again. “I was looking through some old supernatural books and there is a story that’s said to revolve around the birth of supernatural creatures. And sometimes, there are true creatures. Creatures that are born with a legacy. Rarely, however, the supernatural can create something- new. It can evolve-” Stiles rudely buds in. 

Originally posted by haleinskis

“So, what’s this go to do with, (Y/n)?!” They looked back at her before glancing back at Deaton. “She’s an evolution. A new creation. Completely natural too. Nothing in her system’s out of the ordinary.-” Scott asks, with pure curiouscity. “So, what is she?” He sighs. “She’s human but I believe she’s two other creatures-” He pauses, Stiles shouts. “WHAT IS SHE?!” He looks up at them. “I’m not totally sure-” Stiles barks back at him again. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT SURE?!” Scott pushes him back. “Stiles-” He looked back at Scott and then back at Deaton, breathing heavily through his nose. “Isaac walked forward.

 “So, what do you think she is?” The doctor shrugs, shaking his head. “I’m not one-hundred percent sure. There are hundreds of creatures she could be..” Derek nodded. “So what are we gonna do about it?” The vet doctor glanced at the young motionless body. “You keep an eye on her. Her real abilities should finally awaken during the blue moon.” Isaac and Stiles spoke in unison. “That’s tomorrow!” Deaton shrugged. “You boys have a lot of work to do.” 

(I hope to turn this into a series. MESSAGE ME or INBOX ME if you want me to continue it. I was thinking succubus and vampire reader??)

what if?

(11 and 3 from the Super Sappy Prompts list: “I thought you didn’t want me” and “It’s always been you.”)

It’s not water, it’s ice. It’s a thousand needles of ice pricking at Dex’s skin. Soon they’ll pierce him, puncture his bursting lungs and turn him breathless, lifeless. Still, he swims on.

The current is fighting him. His own lungs are fighting him. His eyes fight, too, stinging, but he keeps them open, gleaning what light he can in the dark water. Later, he will think back and see only seconds of being alone in that darkness. Now, it’s minutes. An endless slow trudge of time as he turns and searches.

He remembers pulling off his flannel, stripping out of his jeans in the freezing night. He remembers kicking off his shoes. And then the plunge, the fevered dive into the water, the rush of his blood keeping him warm. And then, crashing down and through into this frozen limbo, one thought in mind. Where’s Nurse?

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RFA+Saeran Suicidal MC

Can you write headcanons for the rfa and saeran with an mc who wants to kill herself because she feels like she doesn’t matter and nothing she does will ever matter

I got this prompt before things went downhill on my end, and I’m so sorry it has taken me a while until I was able to write this for you, anon.

I really hope you’re doing okay, and know that you’re loved. Please if you need help, remember to talk to loved ones, friends, or to look up suicide hotlines for your area (Google as an incognito mode if you’re stressed about your history). If you’re thinking of therapy I used to use BetterHelp.com. They had an app and it was nice not having to voice all the negatives, just writing them down. And some places offer free therapy as well.

Do not be ashamed for wanting/needing help. It’s so much better than the alternative.


Zen

- He showered you with compliments on the daily.

- He didn’t know you. You were still just some person behind a text message screen.

- Why did he care so much?

- Out of the camera’s prying eyes, you locked yourself in the late Rika’s room, curling up beside her bed.

- She was so much better than you in every way, so much more lovable, likeable. No one ever batted an eye to you unless it was just to be flirted with.

- You knew those advances would go away the moment they saw you for who you were.

- Some over-depressed whiny fuck.

-  You covered your face, hating how harsh you had to be to yourself, when you heard the phone ring. You peaked over, the action seemingly taking over a year, but you recognized the face on the ID.

- Zen.

- You answered, a low “Hello”, to which he acted surprised to.

- “Eh? Are you sick? Did our RFA princess get a cold?

- Silence. Long enough that you heard him shuffle with the phone, probably to check if you were still on the line.

- “Mc? Hey, are you okay?

- “Why do you care?”

- “…What kind of question is that?

- You scoffed.

- “Hey, whats up? What’s wrong?

- “What, you going to just flirt with me? Save the damsel in distress who you don’t even know?” You swallowed, the action making your throat feel like it was being torn apart. 

- “I do know-

- “No you don’t! You don’t even know what I look like, let alone how I act! How I really am! Just some selfish fuck up who can’t even compare to that Rika girl you all keep talking about!”

- Silence again, and your felt your heart manage to break even more. “That’s what I thought, you can’t even-”

- “No, I’m still here. I’m listening.

- “To what?”

- “To you. To you venting. Mc, please just. Keep going.

- Out of anger you did. Anger towards yourself, towards the group. He listened. He listened as anger turned into broken sobs that had your chest heaving.

- He kept quiet for a moment, making sure he wasn’t interrupting you again.

- “You’re right, I don’t know you. I don’t know what you look like, but you know what? I don’t care. Because while I don’t know you that well, I know already you’re a good person. You’re helping us while your heart is so burdened with stress, while you have the weight of us on your shoulders. Do you know how many others would do that? None. In fact, the one that did is gone now. And even as upset you are with us talking about her, you’re still willing to help, you’re still willing to listen to idiot romantics like me, while you’re struggling so much. But you know what? We’re here for you. These strangers that you’re taking care of, we’re here for you too. No matter how silly, no matter how late, you can call me. Text me. If you feel like this please, please, just talk to me or one of the guys who makes you feel more comfortable, if you can’t talk to anyone else. Just please, yell at me, blame me, but god please don’t do anything to yourself.

- “I-I-I’m so ssorry-”

- “Don’t. We all have our bad moment. When I see you at that party, I’ll give you all the hugs I can’t give you right now, and all the ones no one else was able to give you. So stick around until then at least, okay?”

- You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “O-Okay.”

- He stayed on the phone with you to calm you down, getting you to agree to sleep on the couch so Seven could make sure you were okay. He stayed on the phone for hours, just listening, singing at times, humming encouragement. 

- And when the two of you finally met, he couldn’t let go of you, and you never wanted to let go of him.

Jumin

- He was used to coming home and you greeting him with a smile, warming his heart and taking the stress from work that day. Even Elizabeth 3rd didn’t have that effect all the time

- But seeing you curled up on the bed, motionless, face soaked in tears, had him dropping his suitcase and rushing to you

- “Mc? Mc, are you alright?”

- You weakly looked up at him, dried eyed threatening to tear up again. “No.” God, every part of you hurt admitting that, but you just wanting some emotion to grace you, something other than pain and numbness

- “Do I need to call the doctor? It’ll just-”

- “No, no please, just.” You weakly reached out for his hand, and he immediately grasped yours. Even just tilting your head felt like it took your whole energy reserve away. “I need you.”

- He laid down beside you, pulling you into his arms. “Love, please. What’s wrong?”

- “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

- “About what?”

- “I’m such a fucking waste of space Jumin, I can’t do anything right anymore.”

- He jerked away slightly, looking you in the eyes.

- “Don’t you dare even begin to think that. Don’t you dare.”

- Tears starting spilling from your eyes again as you were forced to look directly at him, your shoulders shaking.

- “But I am-”

- “No,” He kissed your forehead, but his voice was stern, even slightly shaky. “You are the most amazing thing to happen to me, you are the best thing to grace my presence each morning I open my eyes, you are so much more than that, mc. Please.”

- You had never seen Jumin cry, but now you felt it. He was holding you tight, burying his face in your hair, as he struggled to keep composed as his body shook.

- “Please, mc. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

- You clung tightly to him, muttering a mantra of apologies as he made a mental list of how to help you exactly.

- He would going to start telling you he loved you six times a day, kiss you every moment he could, call you every small two minute break he had just to tell you he thought of you. 

- God, just anything. Anything to keep you here with him, and to feel like yourself again. Not this husk.

Jaehee

- Jaehee knew a few of the signs, just from excessive research she did after hearing about the late Rika.

- Maybe a few other reasons

- The two of you were closing up the shop for the night, you washing the dishes as she swept. However, she had stopped ages ago, watching you stare at a knife with a dead-eyed half lidded stare.

- She knew. 

- Slowly, she walked behind you, taking your hands in hers and getting the knife away from you, holding you from behind.

- “Mc, don’t.”

- That’s all she said. She wasn’t even 100% sure that was what you were thinking, but you bursting into tears on the spot confirmed it.

- She cut the sink off, wrapping you in one of the fluffy clean towels, rocking you back and forth as you sobbed into her.

- She wanted to cry, felt like she needed to, but she held it in. For you, just for you. Just anything to make you happy.

- “Jaehee, I can’t- It’s so painful- I can’t even breathe-”

- “Shhh,” She kissed the back of your head, waiting for you to cry it out.

- When you finished, she turned you around, kissing the corners of your eyes.

- “We’re going to get you to a doctor.”

- “Jaehee, no-”

- “Yes,” Her voice cracked a bit, and she took a deep breath. “Mc, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve learned so much about myself, I’m finally enjoying my life again, I feel like I finally learned what it’s like to feel alive-”

- “With me gone, you’ll-”

- “I’ll break, I’ll be in shambles. And I never, ever, want to see you like that. I never want to see your beautiful, shining, radiant face devoid of life. If that happened, I’d die, Mc. I would just stop.”

- She took a moment to rub her eyes, then to kiss you.

- “Please, please, just talk to me. I promise I love you, I promise I will do everything I can. Just please, god. Don’t hurt yourself.”

Yoosung

- Everything had been numb until now.

- Bad grades? Still workless? Numb.

- Yoosung drowning in games while you silently and mentally begged for his attention? Numb.

- You weren’t even sure what had snapped in you today, but as he was discussing a test he failed, sad over it, but a bit happy it wasn’t as bad as his past grades

- And you just broke down in tears

- He froze up, trying to figure out what he said wrong as you buried your face in your knees.

- “Mc? Mc, what happened? Are you okay?”

- He gingerly touched you, scared of provoking more tears, but when you leaned a bit closer he managed to bring your face up to look at him.

- “Mc, please, please, tell me what is wrong.”

- He was so scared. Were you going to break up with him? Did someone hurt you? What was happening?

- After a few moments of choked sobbing and garbled mutterings, you managed to clear your throat enough.

- “Yo-Yoosung, I can’t stand this anymore.”

- Oh god, you were breaking up, weren’t you? He took a deep breath. “Stand what?”

- “Just, I don’t fuckcing know,” you covered your face again. “Living. I can’t.”

- His heart sunk. Immediately he pulled you to him, tears already leaking.

- “Do-Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare, Mc. Please, god, don’t you dare.” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word, he didn’t want to even jinx it. “Please, god, don’t. I don’t know what I’d do.”

- You outright wailed.

- “I don’t have a job, I’m such a disgrace, I just-”

- “No,” He pushed your face into his shoulder, refusing to have you keep on. “You don’t know how much you mean to me, or the people around you. God, please, I went through this with Rika, Mc, just please, please, let me help you. I couldn’t-” His voice broke, “I couldn’t help her, please, god, let me help you.”

- The two of you broke down, just rocking back and forth on his bed, sobbing together. You, feeling so ashamed and sick. Yoosung, so scared and guilty. 

- After the two of you cried it out a bit, he covered you in kisses, refusing to stop until he felt like you knew how much he loved you. 

- He’d nearly beg Jumin to have him help you get help. He didn’t care if he had to become a slave to C&R for the rest of his life. Anything was better than losing you.

Seven

- No matter what you did, how much you told him you loved him, he pushed you away. 

- You couldn’t understand why for the life of you. He was so in love with you a while ago, and now it’s just this?

- It was you, right? You did something. You weren’t who he thought you were…Right?

- He didn’t even notice you leave the house.

- You threw your phone somewhere outside, and just walked. Walked until your feet felt sore, until your legs couldn’t take it.

- When you finally stopped, you were at an old park bench. It was late in the afternoon, almost dark, so no kids were around. You sat down, and held it in as you thought about what you were going to do.

- There was a river nearby, so that was an option, wasn’t it? And if you truly needed to you could fashion your sweater into some noose. It wouldn’t be too hard if you had your phone.

- Phone… Right. You threw that somewhere, didn’t you? You couldn’t even look up proper ways of killing yourself, could you? Managed to fuck up right until the end.

- You laughed to yourself, and as you did it slowly turned into hiccups. Into sobs.

- Soon you were sobbing on this abandoned park bench, like some fool. Some lovestruck fool that had no one to love her back.

- You didn’t know how long you were there, not until a loud screeching noise hit your ears, causing you to blink at the bright lights in front of you.

- “Mc? Oh thank god, thank god.”

- Seven ran to you, pulling you off the bench and hugging you tight.

- “I was so scared, I was so fucking scared. Are you okay? Are you hurt-”

- You shook him off, shooting a bitter glare his way.

- “Why do you care?”

- You could see the life leave him. He instantly teared up, reaching for you.

- “God, mc, I do, I do, god i do please. Please please, please pleaseplease, don’t do this-”

- “What, push you away like you-”

- He pulled you into a sloppy, wet, kiss. His tears mingling with his inability to kiss properly.

- “I know I’m an asshole, I know I don’t deserve you. I just get so scared- I’m so gross, so disgusting, so stupid, Mc. And you’re so smart, so kind, so fucking calm. And I don’t deserve you, not in the slightest, but here you are,” He managed a weak, choked, laugh. “Finally realizing…”

- He held you close, refusing to let go, as he sobbed into your chest. “God, mc, please. Come home, lets talk, and then you can beat me within an inch of my life, but please god don’t leave me, don’t, not like this. Not like this, just any other way, not like this.”

- You put your stubbornness aside. Still angry, but longing some validation.

- The two of you settled in his car, awkwardly cuddling in the back seat in the abandoned parking lot, trying to calm down enough to drive.

- And in that time frame, you realized he was just as scared as you were. Once he heard your plans, he begged you to get help, he even promised he would come along to therapy, just anything so you didn’t harm yourself like you were thinking. He needed to know you were safe, and he would never forgive himself if he couldn’t stop you.

- But you knew for damn sure he wasn’t going to push you away anymore, not even if his mind told him to. You deserved more.

Saeran

- When he saw your recent search histories, he nearly broke down himself, recognizing a few of the searches as ones he used to look up himself.

- You, the wonderful woman who welcomed him with open arms. Despite those he hurt, despite him trying to hurt you. When you first saw him, you immediately hugged him so tightly, whispering on how thankful you were that he was alright.

- Something he would never forget.

- And here he was, reading the results you got for painless suicide methods. Once he saw one connected to your recent behavior, he shot out of his seat and sprinted to wherever you could be.

- When he found you, he was the one to break into sobs. He was so mad, so fucking mad, that he couldn’t stay composed, but he needed you, he needed you so bad.

- He fell to his knees, clinging onto your legs.

- “Mc, please god, please don’t do it, please for fucking gods sake don’t leave me alone, don’t leave me with an empty bed and guilt, god Mc I can’t take it, I can’t.”

- As soon as he started sobbing, you connected the pieces pretty quickly, and felt your own tears pour.

- You slowly met him on the floor, where he held you in a death-like grip, begging you without any shame.

- “Why, why, why? Why?”

- “I’m just. Worthless, Saera-”

- “Don’t you fucking even think that for one moment. I’ve killed people, mc, I’ve killed people worse than you, I’ve beaten people. God, Mc, I’m worse than you. If anything I’m the one more deserving to go rather than you.”

- He broke down again, ending up blubbering. “If you go I don’t know what I’d do. You’re the only thing keeping me sane, please god Mc, please don’t. Please. Please.”

- He just kept begging, and you started to wail.

- The two of you stayed on the floor just cuddling each other, unsure of what else to do. It took hours until the both of you could stop crying, until the both of you held hands so tightly and talked about the help for you to get.

- He would do anything, just anything, for his beautiful heaven like sky not to be taken away from him.

anonymous asked:

Hoping the ask box is still open! Could you do DAI companions and advisors reacting to the news that the inquisitors spouse and child were killed in the conclave even though the inquisitor acts so calm and collected? Bonus for romanced

Cassandra Pentaghast - When she finds out she apologizes immediately for her behavior. She had lost the divine, but they had lost so much more. The Inquisitor just gives her an icy brush off, telling her she is forgiven, and that they had other things to worry about now. After that, she tries her best to be their friend, not pushing the subject ever again, but letting it be known she’s there to talk whenever they need it. (Romanced) She’s a lot more hesitant going in. She does not want to be a rebound, or used. But she knows for a fact she loves him, so one day, she brings it up. As the Inquisitor slowly starts to open up about it, she would be there to comfort him during the more emotional parts, glad he is no longer internalizing their pain.

Solas - He finds out much later, and feels he doesn’t have a right to say anything on the matter to them, not when he knows it’s his fault. They are not close, practically strangers, though perhaps if they seemed upset he would offer condolences. But the strange thing was that they didn’t seem upset at all. If the subject was brought up, it was dismissed immediately. He doesn’t say much to them even after becoming friends, but in the fade, where they do not, can not hide their pain, he wards off demons who would take advantage. (Romanced) When approaching the subject, it is in the fade, somewhere scenic and peaceful. He tells her she does not have to say anything if she is not comfortable yet. He comforts her through it. Though, he did not do this entirely for her benefit. He may be doing it to punish himself, to remind him how much he has taken from the woman he loves and how much he’s going to take after.

Varric - He finds out later, and as soon as he sees them, he offers his condolences and asks if they need anything. Their lack of misery…is a bit off putting. Losing his brother had hurt, and losing Bianca hurt even more. Losing a child seemed devastating. He’d keep an eye on them, suspicious, and the slightest bit uncomfortable, but he would treat them mostly the same. Once they began getting closer, he would cautiously ask questions. Not about how they felt, no, more so about their life with their now dead spouse and children. If they opened up, he would eventually get to the other questions, and comfort them if they wanted it. A nice cup of ale and a shoulder to cry on helped Hawke through the loss of their mother, and he would offer the same to the Inquisitor.

Vivienne - She heard through the grapevine. Upon meeting the Inquisitor, she would offer her condolences, at this point saying it out of political reasons and not actual care. But seeing how impassive they are about it, she would drop it. That was an angle that wasn’t going to work. Once they get closer, she does start to genuinely worry. She knows the dangers of internalizing one’s emotions better than anyone in the Inquisition. Though she does not act until after the death of Bastien. Especially if they try to comfort her. She lets them know she’s willing to talk, but does not push the matter. And if they open up, they will be shocked to find the Enchanter does enjoy hugs, from those she trusts.

Iron Bull - He’s Ben-Hassrath. It’s his job to know these things. But he doesn’t bother the Inquisitor about it. But it’s odd, not seeing them outwardly upset. He isn’t sure on the idea of monogamy and having children, but if he lost someone close, he’d definitely be affected. But sometimes it was easier to keep all that shit inside. Otherwise it got messy. He understood. If they become friends, he does ask them about it over drinks. If they open up, he orders more drinks. If they don’t, he orders more drinks and lets them know he won’t pick at scabs again. Though, if the Inquisitor sacrificed the chargers, he’ll be the slightest bit irritated with them. (Romanced) Talking was hard. It was hard, and it hurt, and emotions were icky and suffocating. They internalized it, ignored it, and let it weigh on them. He was there to make the weight lighter. Each knot, each smack, every bite, every hickey was one step closer to them unwinding. And when they finally reached subspace, he would be there to comfort them, wipe their tears, provide the best aftercare and hold them until they fell asleep.

Sera - She probably doesn’t find out at all at the beginning. She probably overhears some nobles whispering about it when they get to Skyhold. She is the tiniest bit upset. Why wouldn’t they tell her? And she confronts them about it, only receiving the cold shoulder. Later, she realizes how insensitive she was and does her best to apologize. She doesn’t ever bring it up again, but she can be seen watching them sometimes, a frown on her lips. (Romanced) After everything she’s told her, she’d feel vulnerable. Why did she have to hear about this from someone else and not her? She’d approach her about it, but a lot gentler. If the Inquisitor opened up to her about it, she wouldn’t be able to give much advice, but she would be there for them.

Blackwall - Blackwall keeps to himself, so he doesn’t catch many rumors, but when he hears some of the blacksmiths at Haven talking about the Inquisitors dead family, he does get alarmed. He offers them his condolences immediately, and isn’t bothered when he is rebuffed. He knows what it’s like. He knows telling people things is hard, and it hurts, and it’s just not worth it at times. If their friendship deepens, he does make sure their not feeling bad, but he never presses them to talk. (Romanced) He wouldn’t say anything until the whole Thom situation was brought up. He’d ask them about it, late at night, if they couldn’t sleep, and if they open up he simply listens. Nothing he will say will bring back the first man she loved, or the child she lost, and he could never replace that, but he would do his best to make her happy.

Cole - (Trevelyan) “Small, screaming, wet and irritated. An addition to the family, a future addition to the templars, but for now mine, no one elses, they are so beautiful when they smile. Warm, safe, gone. Fire, brimstone, Maker why, nobody, no body, can’t bury them, lost forever. It hurts. Do not hide it. They loved you too. They do not want you to be sad.” (Lavellan) “Another child, another addition the the legacy, pure dalish blood, pure eyes, pure face, pure heart, pure lethalin, my baby. Ma vhenan, ma vhenan, no, no! Ma da’len, ma vhenan, Dareth shiral. You feel alone. Surrounded by shem, strangers. No clan to fall back on. I’m sorry I am not them. I want to help You are not alone.” (Adaar) “So small, so soft, fits in my palm, callouses tickling their cheeks. Little nubs, curled hair, lovely limbs, ten toes, two eyes, button nose. Living on the road is not easy but this makes everything fine. Little one, little love. Lost. Gone, gone, gone, vanish in the wind, like smoke. Why them, why them? I want to help. Let me help.” (Cadash) “Crime is no life for a child, no, this is stupid, I’m so stupid, how could I do this? Criminal, just like their parents, and the first thing they’ve stolen is our hearts. So small, soft, innocent, pure. Gone. I deserve this. A carta agent could never be happy. I’m sorry. They loved you. They did not think you were bad. You were trying to provide. And now you are here, doing good. I want to help.”

Dorian Pavus - He never got a chance to find out at Haven because things were so hectic, but in Skyhold he does hear it uttered by a few nobles. He is shocked, at first, because he hadn’t noticed anything wrong with them at all. They seemed perfectly fine! He isn’t the most tactful person, so he decides not to comment on it. Though, once their friendship deepens and the debacle with his father his over with, he does cautiously approach the subject. If he is not rebuffed, he tries his best to comfort them, though he does direct them towards someone who could help them better. (Romanced) He would not be sure how to approach the subject at all, but would end up mentioning it at some point. He’d be heartbroken to hear how much emotions his Amatus buried inside, and he would be there for him.

Leliana - She knew only minutes later after their unconscious body was delivered. When Cassandra snapped and shouted, Leliana made sure to pull her back. During the course of Haven, she would keep an eye on them, not saying a word. In Skyhold, she would not say anything. Even if they got close. Though, one day she does summon the Inquisitor and say that her scouts have found what she believes to be their spouse’s and child’s remains. A proper burial would be set up, and she would silently comfort the Inquisitor in ways only she could.

Cullen Rutherford - Makers breath. He heard from Leliana as soon as they returned to Haven. He wouldn’t be sure how to approach the subject, or if he even wanted to approach it. It was none of his business. If he and the Inquisitor got closer, he would ask a few questions, but upon being brushed off he would shut up and never mentioned it again. (Romanced) One night in bed, holding her close, he asks, and after a while, she answers. He gently rubs away the tears and kisses her softly, listening. He can’t replace what’s been lost but he will make sure she will never lose anything else.

Josephine Montilyet - When she hears, she’s instantly shocked at how much they have lost. When they enter her makeshift office in Haven, she holds their hands and tells them she is sorry for their loss and if they need ANYTHING, come to her. She doesn’t expect the discomfort in their face and the dismissive ‘Okay’. But after that, she watches her words and her actions. Once they become friends, she does try again, and if she gets a better reception she makes sure to get them all that they need. (Romanced) She can’t imagine losing her own family. Even the thought was painful. She couldn’t imagine how they felt, and she made sure to always be conscious of the topic. Eventually, I think the Inquisitor would come to her first, seeing how earnest and caring she is. She is there for them.

How I ship Gency:

I like to think that Angela is a kind but very very tired soul that continues to push herself beyond her limits for the good of humanity. She’s constantly trying to improve medical science and works long hours to make it happen. She will sometimes go days without sleep on the job and forget to eat. Over the years, it has made her jaded - almost dead inside. But she does what she must.

One day, a body is rushed to her by Blackwatch all the way from Japan. She has never seen this man - or what’s left of him - before, but he’s obviously very important to Overwatch’s interests if he was rushed to her to be saved. So she begins the grueling process of breathing life back into his body. Thanks to the advances in medicine that she has pioneered, she is able to save the miraculous, weak heartbeat in him. Regardless, she still works for months slowly rebuilding him and salvaging any organic parts possible. All the while he is comatose.

The first time he awakens, he is disoriented, angry, and violent. Angela has to call for back up to restrain him so she can explain where he is, what has happened, and that he is safe. Gabriel Reyes enters during this time. Reyes doesn’t beat around the bush. He tells the man - Shimada Genji - that he was saved because they need his knowledge of the Shimada clan in order to dismantle it - that he will be instrumental in taking down his family business. Angela is horrified. She’d never been told to what end Overwatch needed this man - only that he held valuable information. She only guessed who or what he could be. Perhaps an important diplomat or undercover agent - but not an outsider. Not someone who would be in their debt for life. Her operations on him were costly. There was no way Overwatch would do that and expect nothing in return. Though they worked for the safety of the world - Angela knew they were not a charity.

She shoots a piercing glare in Reyes’ direction - saying silently, “This is NOT what I signed up for! We WILL talk about this later!” Reyes ignores her look. He waits for Shimada’s response. The man is silent. Thinking. After a pregnant pause, his gaze crawls up to their faces and a chill runs through Angela’s spine.

“I could be more than just information,” he says with seething rage boiling in his eyes. Reyes lifts an eyebrow. Angela can’t breathe. Shimada continues, “It would be my pleasure to assist in destroying my brother’s empire.” His lips curl at the word brother.

Reyes and Shimada exchange hard stares at one another. Reyes is the first to speak. “What are you asking, boy?”

“Let me personally assist on this project. On the field. I know more secrets than just the business of the empire - and how to exploit them. I am already a trained fighter with extensive experience in stealth and… Other fields of interest to your organization.” The menace in his gaze reveals that he speaks the truth.

Angela leaves abruptly. She doesn’t need to look at Reyes to know that he will accept Shimada’s offer. She is so very tired.

She assists in Shimada’s recovery. She fine-tunes his motor skills. She helps him learn to walk again. She helps familiarize him with his new functions… She refuses to comply with Blackwatch’s request to integrate weaponry into his cybernetic body. She hates weapons. She hates violence - it’s what stole her parents from her in the war. She has only ever killed in battle when absolutely necessary and in self-defense, and she has no intention of making instrument of death.

They confiscate her medical files on Shimada-san. She is told she will no longer be his overseeing doctor. She does not see him for a long time.

She cannot help but worry about him. She spent months caring for him in his most vulnerable state, yet here he is working for Blackwatch with cybernetic weapons and enhancements. His new armor covers his face. She has not seen it since the day he awoke.

Over the years, she occasionally hears of strides made in the Shimada Empire Project. Inside jobs. Sabotage. Assassinations. She always thinks of Shimada-san.

Then everything goes to hell.

With the Swiss headquarters razed to the ground and Overwatch outlawed by the PETRAS Act, Angela is alone and so very tired. Overwatch and Blackwatch agents have scattered across the Earth, she among them. Despite the weight of the world on her shoulders, she can’t help but wonder in the back of her mind what Shimada will do now. His rage and bitterness had driven his actions since the day he was revived. Where would he go with no organization or project? She worries.

A year passes. She receives a letter - a hand-written letter?? It’s covered with postage and forwarding stamps to multiple addresses. It is from Shimada. The contents are awkward with apologies and abundant with reluctance at even writing to her. He is apparently staying with the Shambali monks in Nepal under the teachings of Zenyatta Tekhartha. He writes that Zenyatta insisted that he begin writing letters to someone in his life as a part of his healing process. Healing process? He ends the letter with an apology for bothering her.

“Healing process”… Her heart warms at the thought. She writes him back, expressing that she is not bothered by his letters and informing him of her current mailing address for future ones.

For the next three years she looks forward to every letter. She is still overworked. Still trying to better the world. Still so very tired. But his letters remind her that working to help others heal is valid and worth the pain. His transformation is gradual, but evident. At first he is guarded - only sharing bare minimum details of his lessons. As they exchange letters, however, she begins to see his walls crumble as he shares more personal thoughts and feelings. He even starts to inject wry humor into his script. She doesn’t know for certain, and maybe it could never truly be this way, but Angela believes she is getting to meet the man from before the fight with his brother. He asks that she refer to him by his first name, Genji, so that he is not reminded of the name he shares with his brother, Hanzo.

Genji still refers to her as Miss Ziegler.

The Overwatch recall blindsides her, yet she travels to Gibraltar as soon as possible… She knows where she belongs. She writes Genji from Gibraltar informing him of her new address. She does not receive a reply. She worries.

One day, several weeks after the recall, a stranger covered from head to toe in intricately designed garments appears on their doorstep, an omnic companion in tow. Winston greets them hesitantly, Angela unconsciously stands slightly behind the gorilla. The stranger stares past Winston and into Angela’s face, saying nothing at first. Several moments pass. The omnic places a hand on the man’s shoulder, and he seems to relax a bit. He is hesitating. Why? Slowly, the man lifts his hands to undo the headdress covering his face, all the while keeping his gaze locked on Angela.

A moment more passes as he unties the cloth around his head. Then all at once the headdress is off, leaving his face naked.

Rich brown eyes meet hers, steadied with courage. Pale, old scars marble his face, crawling upward and across his cheeks, nose, and lips. His mechanical jaw clenches in apprehension. His black hair is plastered to his forehead from the headdress he’d been wearing not long ago.

Angela cannot breathe as she looks upon the face that she has not seen since the day she revived him.

Genji.

She is hugging him before she realizes what she’s doing. His arms hover over her back, shock evident in his face. Pulling back and wiping joyful tears from her eyes, she apologizes for surprising him.“But,” she adds with a wry smile “you surprised me first! So we are even.”

The shock in his eyes melts into something softer that she cannot name. He chuckles. “I suppose you are right, Miss Ziegler.”

She feels a prick of annoyance at his formality, but quickly squashes it. After all, she’s just heard him laugh for the first time. She smiles genuinely. “You seem well, Genji.”

What passes across his expression can be described as nothing other than the purest of inner tranquility. The corners of his lips upturn just slightly. His gaze is soft, unguarded as he looks into her eyes. The shadows of the violent rage that boiled in his soul so many years ago are nowhere to be found. “I am a different man now. I am whole.”

Her heart squeezes. Tears blur her vision and she cannot help grinning as the joy for him thrums throughout her body. “…That is wonderful!” she manages.

She is the furthest thing from tired.

Sometimes people need to heal before love can blossom. Falling in love is not the cure-all. But loving others, building those relationships through the thick of it all - that is one of the most important bonds you can ever have.

various lyric starters
  • ❛  this is the part where the end starts.  ❜
  • ❛  I can’t take it any longer.  ❜
  • ❛  I just can’t tears your tears.  ❜
  • ❛  but will we sleep once I tell you what’s hurting me ?  ❜
  • ❛  how many storms have you been in ?  ❜
  • ❛  don’t you try to resist.  ❜
  • ❛  you are more than ready for this.  ❜
  • ❛  I’ll give you what you need.  ❜
  • ❛  I’m not gonna chase you like they chase you ‘cause I don’t want to play.  ❜
  • ❛  it seems like I have conquered every fear I ever had.  ❜
  • ❛  I don’t regret a thing and I won’t forget a thing.  ❜
  • ❛  I never thought I’d see today with you.  ❜
  • ❛  I didn’t picture this, I wasn’t hoping high.  ❜
  • ❛  now I’m reaching for the things I’ve left behind.  ❜
  • ❛  is it too proud to say that I like who we became ?  ❜
  • ❛  I guess growing up turned out to be okay.  ❜
  • ❛  it’s nothing less than perfect.  ❜
  • ❛  every heartache was worth it.  ❜
  • ❛  I’m sitting hear wearing the weight of the world on my shoulders.  ❜
  • ❛  it’s been a long day, and there’s still work to do.  ❜
  • ❛  there’s a ball at the castle, and I’ve been invited, and I need to practice dancing.  ❜
  • ❛  she says he’s a nice guy, and I’d be impressed.  ❜
  • ❛  she came home today with a ring on her hand.  ❜
  • ❛  and all that’s left is rage.  ❜
  • ❛  stay alive for the good times.  ❜
  • ❛  stay alive for the hopes and the fears and the dreams.  ❜
  • ❛  your fear controls everything.  ❜
  • ❛  when you get older your wild heart will live for younger days.  ❜
  • ❛  think of me if ever you’re afraid.  ❜
  • ❛  one day you’ll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember.  ❜
  • ❛  somebody misses you when you’re away.  ❜
  • ❛  somebody loves you.  ❜
  • ❛  I think you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.  ❜
  • ❛  I leave you here, for once, for all.  ❜
  • ❛  it’s time to say goodbye again.  ❜
  • ❛  shallow graves for shallow hearts.  ❜
  • ❛  if you could envision the meaning of a tragedy, you might be surprised to find it’s you and me.  ❜
  • ❛  when it comes down to it, you never made the most of it.  ❜
  • ❛  I won’t be made a fool of.  ❜
  • ❛  don’t call this love.  ❜
  • ❛  I wrote two hundred letters I will never send.  ❜
  • ❛  why won’t you answer me ?  ❜
  • ❛  I’m gonna get you back.  ❜
  • ❛  why do you do what you do to me ?  ❜
  • ❛  I’m gonna love you like I’ve never been broken.  ❜
  • ❛  I don’t need a reason for anything I feel.  ❜
  • ❛  just be glad I say what I mean, and mean what I say to you.  ❜
  • ❛  are you real ?  ❜
  • ❛  I just wanna be ok.  ❜
  • ❛  I just wanna feel something today.  ❜
  • ❛  open me up and you will see, I’m a gallery of broken hearts.  ❜
  • ❛  I’m beyond repair, let me be.  ❜
  • ❛  I’ll take you home if you don’t leave me at the front door.  ❜
  • ❛  I saw you dancing and I couldn’t get you off my mind.  ❜
  • ❛  I could tell that you could tell that I was taking my time.  ❜
  • ❛  where’s the miniskirt made of snake skin ?  ❜
  • ❛  when did reality become TV ?  ❜
  • ❛  there’s some kind of blessing here.  ❜
  • ❛  pretty little thing.  ❜
  • ❛  this isn’t what I wanted.  ❜
  • ❛  don’t look at me that way.  ❜
  • ❛  pushing you away gets harder every day.  ❜
  • ❛  you’re such a bad, bad girl.  ❜
  • ❛  I need you, I want you.  ❜
  • ❛  give me all you’ve got tonight.  ❜
  • ❛  when your hand finds the hand it was meant to hold, don’t let go.  ❜
  • ❛  I’ll never fall in love again.  ❜
  • ❛  I’ve been there and I’m glad I’m out.  ❜
  • ❛  there’s no one else’s eyes that can see into me.  ❜
  • ❛  you know my heart by heart.  ❜
  • ❛  what did you come for ?  ❜
  • ❛  where is your leader ?  ❜
  • ❛  where is your conscience ?  ❜
  • ❛  I can’t take this, I can’t take what’s not mine.  ❜
  • ❛  you won’t take us alive.  ❜
  • ❛  you’re just a number.  ❜
  • ❛  I don’t blame you for your hesitation.  ❜
  • ❛  I surrender to losing you.  ❜
  • ❛  I’ve been hiding in this bottle of whiskey.  ❜
  • ❛  I hear your voice in my head when there’s no one else around.  ❜
  • ❛  there is no where else for me to run to.  ❜
  • ❛  all these things we’ve done, we cannot undo.  ❜
  • ❛  I tried to replace you but it’s so hard to let you go.  ❜
  • ❛  I tried to erase you but I just can’t forget you.  ❜
  • ❛  I ain’t nothing but tired.  ❜
  • ❛  I’m just tired and bored with myself.  ❜
  • ❛  I could use just a little help.  ❜
  • ❛  there’s something happening somewhere.  ❜
  • ❛  you can’t start a fire without a spark.  ❜
  • ❛  there’s a joke here somewhere and it’s on me.  ❜
  • ❛  they say you gotta stay hungry, well I’m just about starving tonight.  ❜
  • ❛  I’m dying for some action.  ❜
  • ❛  come on baby, give me just one look.  ❜
Wrong Place, Right Time

This is a prompt fill from the lovely @raptorlily you are such an awesome supporter of my work and I must admit that every time I post something new on Ao3 I eagerly await your review, just as I do your fics.

I hope this fill meets your prompt, it’s only a little bit of pressure filling a prompt for one of your fave fanfic authors.

Summary:

Betty Cooper goes to the White Wyrm to confront Jughead and finds herself in hot water. Enter her knight in a black leather jacket.

Rating: M - there is some stuff ‘wink, wink’ going on but nothing graphic.

Also there is a ‘Keep Reading’ cut.


Betty took a deep breath and pulled her pony tail tighter before she walked through the door of the White Wyrm, if Jughead Jones thought that she could be dissuaded so easily he had another thing coming. The text message had been the last straw.

He had been putting distance between them for weeks. No longer coming to Pop’s, declining her invitations to meet at the Register to write. Even when she was with him he was distant, he no longer sought comfort in her touch, and she knew he was keeping secrets from her. It had all started as soon as he put that damn jacket on. She had been afraid for him, what it would mean for them once he was part of the Serpents. He had promised her that it was just undercover, that he wasn’t about to make the same mistakes that his father had, and she wanted so badly to believe him. She wanted to be his partner in this just as she had been there for Jason Blossom’s murder investigation and subsequent solving. Just as he had been there for her with Polly, the very start of their relationship.


She was determined that she was not going to lose him to the Southside, plus no-one, not even Jughead Jones was going to break up with her via text.

She could feel the atmosphere change as soon as she crossed over the threshold, suspicious eyes roving over her trying to figure out what one of ‘them’ was doing in a place like this.

“You are a very long way from home Blondie.” A leather clad man with a long beard, greyed with age sneered at her. She noticed from the corner of her eye another member, a teen around her age had made his way from the table where he was seated. She continued to make her way towards the bar, ignoring the furious beating of her heart and the shaking in her hands. But as more and more of the gang members moved to surround her she could feel her confidence starting to give way. She straightened herself pulling herself up to her full height and continued on.   

“Extremely far from the white picket fences of the Northside.” He continued to chuckled unkindly.

“Did the boys get too boring for you over there. Wanted something a little more dangerous.” The younger man said as he approached her his eyes roaming over her body, as she hugged her arms around herself suddenly self conscious of her tight sweater.

She turned around sharply looking for an escape but was now surrounded by the other patrons of the bar, other members of the notorious gang which currently was locked in a civil war with her own side. Well she was here now and there was no feasible escape so she might as well get what she came for.

“I’m looking for Jughead Jones.” She said cursing the slight waver in her voice as she tried to command authority in her voice.

“Well girlie, you found us instead.” The older man said as he placed an arm on her shoulder and as she moved to shrug him off he only gripped harder. Frightened she reached for the pepper spray that she had stolen from her mum’s bag, grateful that she had had the forethought to do so. “And we don’t take too kindly to your kind nosing around here.”

Just as her fingers clasped around the cannister a tall figure pulled the man away from her,  pressing him up against the bar, as she moved back stunned, free from his grasp.

“Back off Mongoose.” A rough familiar voice threatened, and recognition washed over her. A beanie-less, leather jacket wearing Jughead Jones, had the Serpent pinned to the bar, twisting his arm behind his back, his tall imposing figure had the other members who had initially gone to help take a wider berth as soon as he glared at them.

Her heart was now racing out of something more than fear, seeing her Jughead defending her honour sent a heat spreading through her body and a flush to her cheeks. His hair was wild, waves falling over his eyes, as he glared at those around him. He leant closer to the man’s ear whispering something that she couldn’t quite hear and noticed a widening of Mongoose’s eyes as he took in the information, before nodding eagerly.

Jughead released him and Betty watched as he nursed his arm as he moved to the back of the small crowd that had gathered when the commotion had started. None of the other serpents seemed to want to be near him as if he was tainted.

He turned to her next, his hand pushing back his hair from his face and his eyes captured hers with such an intensity that she felt her flush intensify, her sweater becoming too warm despite the coolness of the bar.

“You need to leave Betty.” . His face an expression of something that she had only seen a few times, when he was held back by the orderlies at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy and when someone had covered her locker in pigs blood spelling out their hatred for her. There was a roughness and authority in his voice that made her go weak in the knees. Her protector, always.

Keep reading

Enough (III)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: You/Baekhyun

Rating: NC-17

Word Count: 3,667

Summary: You and Baekhyun have been married for two years. Somewhere during that time, things started to go wrong. Now you’re trying to leave. But can you?

Originally posted by porkdo-bi


Keep reading

4

East of Nowhere - Year Three

Master Post Here

Sam x Female Reader

Summary: You and Sam are strangers trapped in a desolate mountain town where you live, isolated from the outside world, for five years.

Part four of a seven part series, each chapter detailing the events of one year.

Author’s Notes: Beta’d by the goddess divine: @elliewinchesterr

If you’d like to be added to the tags just drop me an ask.

Warnings: Language, angst, fluff and explicit sexual content.

Word Count: 6600+

Your name: submit What is this?


Two Years, Three Weeks

Sex changes things.

You’ve forgotten what it feels like to bask in the glow of a new relationship. The two of you find yourselves in the golden hour when everything is new and exciting, all the previous mundane events of the day seem suddenly thrilling. Now that Sam feels free to touch you, he does so without abandon and his hands seems more present than they did before, squeezing your shoulders at the table before taking a seat across from you, grinning as he nudges your bare feet with his own under the table. It’s glorious, the way one night changed everything about the way you interact. You feel a tingle when he walks into the room, blushing when he catches you looking at him.

For a while everything else is forgotten, research and books and plants are shoved to the back of your brain because you can’t think about anything but Sam and the feeling is mutual. You fuck anywhere and everywhere you can because why the hell not? It’s one of the few perks of being Shadow Hill’s only two residents. This world is yours and yours alone so Sam eats you out as you spread over the counter in the hardware store and you suck on his cock in the Beatrice Thurman Memorial Rose Garden.

Keep reading

Why are Bellamy and Clarke so afraid of love?

There’s an undeniable comparison to be drawn concerning Bellamy, Clarke and their individual approach to the notion of love. Bellamy blooms in the presence of affection. Clarke yearns for company and support; her lovers are her solace. Both require love to power through, and yet there is a noticeable absence of verbal clarity in their love. Why has Bellamy never told anybody that he loves them? Why does Clarke find herself blurting out her confession as her lover dies in her arms? What are they so afraid of? What does love mean for these two?

Both Bellamy and Clarke have been conditioned to perceive love as something extreme. To love somebody carries an incredible amount of weight – to cross over to that side in a relationship implies something drastic would have to happen. So first, let’s discuss what is the reasons behind their intense ideas of love.

Bellamy Blake: “I adore those who adore me first.”

It’s no secret that Bellamy is a lover at heart and has so many emotions he’s been conditioned to control and repress. His idea of love is one that is quite cyclical and paradoxical. I often describe Bellamy’s situation as a catch 22 of sorts: he loves people with such fervour that it burns, but he too needs love as a fuel for his own. So what comes first, the way he loves people or the way in which he is loved? And why is his love so strong? Well, his early attachment to Octavia is the source of his passion. Being that young and having a responsibility so heavy, Bellamy’s care and love and protectiveness had to be extreme. His idea of love amalgamates a fear of failure and, of course, overpowering sense of duty. Because Octavia was of paramount significance to Bellamy (all stemming from my sister, my responsibility), his idea of love was cemented as one in which this form of intrinsic protectiveness was required. 

This mantra he’s lived by is very matter-of-fact: basically, you don’t want to know what would happen if something bad were to happen to Octavia because she is your responsibility. That overwhelming idea would have frightened Bellamy so much, forcing a suffocating form of love that leaves no chance for anything bad to happen to Octavia. This was the first time he was given the duty of care and so, very early on, Bellamy’s conception of love was one much more amplified than anybody else’s. Bellamy was raised raising another. He was giving more than he was probably receiving at times. So where’s the love to fuel his own?

It’s anywhere he can find it. Think about it: the look on his face when Clarke told him she needed him, the way he acted when she ran to him and pulled him into a tight embrace, his reaction when Octavia told him ‘I love you, big brother’. He flourishes when he feels love because it’s just about the one emotion he exudes and yearns for in return; it’s the emotion he knows is geared towards him as a person rather than the skills he possesses. He feels when it’s there, and he gravitates towards it because it’s something he desires so badly. He adores those who adore him, and in the circumstance that he is put first, as a priority, it shakes him to the very core. But why does he not explicitly state his love?

Clarke Griffin: “Love is my solace.”

Clarke surrounds herself with love constantly, as it is the source of her liberation. Her will to survive pervades her identity at times and it’s so overwhelming for her. So she reaches out for support, for somebody who bleeds the same, or somebody who being around can free her of her worries. Being constantly singled out for the decisions she has made in the past to ensure the 100′s survival wears her down, it seems, and so the company she seeks is often through romantically and/or sexually-bound relationships. Because love is so paramount to her; because it elevates her in every way possible and gives her the strength to power through hardship…it carries a lot of weight. To love someone, that is. 

With Finn, it was almost as if he symbolised an escape for her. He was somebody she could be herself around, somebody who kindled within her a sense of passion and security, and he offered a companionship that she could not seek elsewhere, as the co-leader of her people. The fact that their most intimate scenes took place away from the dropship i.e. away from her duties only further shows this. With Lexa, Clarke found a kindred spirit and somebody she truly connected with. She saw they bled the same, they carried the same burdens, the same guilt, the same sorrows – Finn and Costia and their leadership roles being prime examples. Lexa was her guide, her lover, her oasis, her eye in the storm. She found inner peace when she was with Lexa. 

But we have observed the recurring pattern with Clarke and her love dying before her very eyes – to love someone is to kill them, she must think. Her idea of love, much like Bellamy, is heightened because of this. And so an important question to raise is: Why does she only confess at the very last moment?

What do love confessions mean to Bellamy and Clarke?

Conceptually, to both Bellamy and Clarke, love is a line they cannot uncross. The state they both remain in, regarding relationships, is one that does not verbally express affection. They show and don’t tell.

Bellamy and Clarke are absolutely terrified of the idea of mortality. With Bellamy, we know fear manifests wherever his love does. With Clarke, she directly associates her love with death. So to tell their loved ones ‘I love you’ psychologically reinforces the inevitability of death. Because of that inherent fear of failure in Bellamy’s love, and the automatic associating of love with mortality in Clarke…it would be in both Bellamy and Clarke’s nature to firmly hold this idea that love confessions are a time limit, love confessions are a reminder. To confess, to make it known to the world automatically endangers their loved one. It’s a psychological belief: it’s almost as if Bellamy and Clarke feel that if they keep their love for someone a secret from fate itself, it keeps these people immortal, and untouched by death.

Originally posted by iconicbellarke

Their mentality towards love is something along the lines of ‘I can’t let the world know. I can’t let fate know. Love kills, so if I never say it, I am not putting them in danger.’ To Bellamy and Clarke, confessions have a ring of finality to it that implies that Earth can take them away at any given moment, and they are so fearful of that, they push it to the back of their minds. They show their love through their actions, but never explicitly through their words because not only would that reinstate to the world and destiny itself that this person is irreplaceable so please don’t take them away from me, but it personally reminds both Bellamy and Clarke that one day, their loved one will depart from this world, and they will have no one. People who are special to them, time and time again on Earth, have been harshly taken away from them so they’re now incredibly protective over the last few they have left.

Originally posted by blyedeeks

When Clarke confesses, it sounds like a farewell. The last thing she ever told her father, Finn and Lexa was ‘I love you’. And she blurts it out, too, because there’s nothing left to do: fate got to them before her love could. Since Jake’s death, she’s grown to reaffirm her affection for her loved ones before they die, in hopes to lull them into their passing. To give them the comfort of knowing she always felt the same. With Jake and Finn it was gentle yet distressed, but with Lexa, something more interesting happens. She says it, breathlessly, but the desperate look on her face as Lexa departs gives it away: Clarke’s idea of love can sometimes be reversed, and she confesses in hopes that maybe she was wrong all this time, maybe her love was actually the key to their safety. Maybe if she confesses they won’t leave her, after all. But it’s a hopeless kind of belief, and even Clarke knows this.

And with Bellamy? Someone who has always had a fear of death, a fear of the unknown, the inevitable? Love is a force he cannot reckon with, and he’s battling between choosing to perceive mortality as a reason to confess or as a reason to avoid confessing. It’s a fight between hopelessness and relentlessness. (It also comes from his emotional repression, which I talk about here.) He knows deep down that time will run out, but at the same time, he struggles to unlearn the idea that announcing his love puts a death sentence on the person.

And together: To one another, Bellamy and Clarke will not accept the other’s mortality. While everyone else has left them, they are each other’s constants, and they have remained and survived through it all. They have this delusional mentality, particularly Clarke, that the other’s death is simply not a narrative existing in their universe. Likely crafted from the trauma of loss, they simply will not accept that their death is inevitable. Clarke is adamant that Bellamy will always come back to her (re 4x06: No, you will) because heaven knows what will happen if someone as dear to her as Bellamy were to die. The same occurs within Bellamy, to a certain extent. We saw it in 3x02 especially: when Clarke is in danger he will not stop until she is out of harm’s way because the idea of her death absolutely frightens him.

Originally posted by onyxwolfxx

Conclusively: resulting from their past experiences, both Bellamy and Clarke find immense difficulty in stating their love, in fear that it will rouse harsh fate itself – that if they were to confess they would be periling their loved one. Their fear of the end is what stops them from confessing, and they both, in the face of the apocalypse, have begun to try and unlearn this deeply-rooted mentality; that love does not equal death, but rather strength.

Drew’s Great Big Beauty and the Beast Review

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

THERE IS NO GOING BACK

THIS IS A SPOILER-FILLED REVIEW

IT IS ALSO VERY LONG

AND THERE ARE LOTS OF SPOILERS

SO PLEASE BE AWARE

THAT THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE

BEFORE YOU START READING

Let me start off by mentioning how much this movie means to me. I’ve kind of made my niche on the internet by dreamcasting Disney movies as if they were live action. I’ve made a ridiculous number of edits, I mean I’ve spent hours, days, probably weeks on this stuff at this point, and many of these edits have been focused on Beauty and the Beast. Live action versions of Disney movies are like… my Thing. And, to be totally honest, this really is only the second faithful adaptation. Alice in Wonderland was a total reworking of the Alice story, not really a cartoon-to-live-action like this. Maleficent completely retold the story from a different angle by making one Disney’s most vicious villains not only sympathetic but good. Cinderella is so close (and so good, I might add) but visually it’s vastly different from its animated counterpart, especially when it comes to Lady Tremaine and the Fairy Godmother, and it’s not a musical. The Jungle Book is the closest we’ve seen to a real and true “live action remake” as opposed to a live action reinterpretation. But here we are. Disney did it. They took one of their most beloved animated classics and straight-up made it into a live action movie without cutting any songs or really very much at all…

And oh boy, did they knock it out of the park.

I love this movie. This is what I’ve been waiting for.

I love Emma Watson as Belle. I think she’s a wonderful choice, I completely buy into her as Belle. She’s beautiful and intelligent and spunky. Her singing is fine. She’s not Kristin Chenoweth or Sutton Foster, but Belle doesn’t need to be. She’s also not Meryl Streep or Daniel Day-Lewis, you know, Emma doesn’t go through a massive transformation and disappear into the role, but she doesn’t need to because she’s already so much like Belle. Still, I don’t find myself watching it thinking about Emma playing the role, I think of her as Belle, which is the goal of acting really. I love that this Belle is so active. I love that she is continuously trying to find a way to escape from the castle. The addition of the laundry machine and teaching the young girl how to read is so good because it actually shows us Belle’s intelligence. In the animated movie, we know Belle’s smart because we’re told Belle’s smart. She reads books and, sure, she acts rationally and she certainly shows the poise of an intelligent person, but this new scene gives us an active example of her intelligence and creativity while also demonstrating the oppressive and small-minded nature of the townspeople. Emma’s Belle is charming and smart and lovely, and I think she captures the essence of Belle perfectly.

All that being said, our two male leads really steal the show for me. I’ve seen the movie twice now and each time, one of the leading gentleman really jumped out. The first time I watched, Luke Evans felt like the true shining star of the film. His Gaston reminds me of Jason Isaacs as both Captain Hook and Lucius Malfoy. He isn’t just vain… this guy is a legitimate narcissist, it seems like his mind has truly been twisted by the war. This Gaston is even more evil than the one we left behind in the world of animation. Gaston has always been terrifying because of his charisma. The way he’s able to charm the people of the village is chilling and this time around we see even more of that trait, paired with a darker and more violent streak particularly illustrated by Gaston tying up Maurice and leaving him for the wolves. Plus, both times I saw the movie the audience gasped in horror when Gaston stomped on Belle’s lettuces.

The second time I saw the film, I was specifically watching for Dan Stevens’s performance as the Beast and man, this is good stuff. The Prince at the beginning is such a drama queen. He’s so over-the-top with his costuming, wig, even his gestures are extremely theatrical. The make up at the beginning is particularly brilliant, burying the Prince’s face in streaks of blue and silver so he still feels like an obscure figure that we don’t quite see. When Belle first meets the Beast, this is all still evident. The way he hides in the shadows, even his lines of dialogue, it’s all very dramatic. And then as the movie progresses, you can see this flair for melodrama fade away as he becomes a more grounded person. He becomes gentler, kinder, and his intelligence, which has always been there, comes forward. By the time we see the Prince again at the end, you can tell that this is the same man but he has been changed. The animated film’s human Prince always felt disconnected from the Beast for me. Sure, they made the eyes the same, but it was hard to see much else because we just see so little of him, so he always felt rather vanilla. That’s not the case here. When the Prince transforms back to a human at the end, this feels like the same character we have watched throughout the film. I’m sure this is aided by the incredible motion capture and CGI work, because the Beast is animated superbly, but Dan’s performance is just stellar.

The objects are perfect. There’s only one shot that I think feels odd (when Belle is carrying Lumiere with Cogsworth walking in front as they lead her to her room) but other than that one moment, I never second guess them as objects. They feel and act real. Lumiere’s movements in particular are incredible, right down to his close up at the start of “Be Our Guest.” I was worried about Plumette before seeing the movie because the bird design is so unusual, but it makes sense since they needed her to be able to fly to get around, and doesn’t feel out of place at all in the movie. Mrs. Potts and Chip are also beautifully animated, they always feel like real and solid objects with weight to them. Their relationship is wonderful, so loving and caring. Chip’s line, “OK. I’m older” is one of my favorite little moments of the whole thing. Cadenza is a wonderful addition to our cast of characters and I did not expect his relationship with Garderobe, but they were an excellent surprise. And Frou Frou! I love that Frou Fou is Garderobe’s and that he becomes Cadenza’s bench and is therefore the link between the two throughout their years in the curse. They’re just so sweet.

Maurice has been an under-reported character in all of this, and that’s a shame because Kevin Klein knocks this role out of the park. He is absolutely wonderful as Maurice. He is fatherly and kind but he has also clearly made mistakes as a parent and that is kind of embraced and understood in the storytelling. He is sincere at all times in a role that is pretty exaggerated in the animated film. If Maurice’s arrival in the tavern had been played exactly like the original, it would have felt campy, but Kevin Klein’s earnestness grounds the moment in reality. Not to mention his quips about snow in June and “apparently that’s what happens around here when you pick a flower” are delivered brilliantly.

Let’s talk Lefou. I don’t like this Lefou, and here’s why. Every other character in this film feels developed in a natural way. It feels like we are learning more information about these characters that has always existed, we just didn’t fit it in the first time around. Lefou, on the other, doesn’t feel like a character who has been developed but a character who has been rewritten. They clearly got the seed of an idea to make him gay but felt squeamish about making him evil and gay (and rightfully so), so they wrote this redemption arc that feels forced and really doesn’t actually go anywhere… Lefou’s turn during the battle with the castle objects doesn’t actually do anything, so the whole thing feels arbitrary. After seeing the film the second time, my friend and I spent probably an hour and a half just talking about Lefou and came up with a brilliant solution to this whole mess of a character… more on that in a moment…

Incorporating the Enchantress into the story is very compelling. I think it’s very obvious who Agatha is throughout the movie, but it gives the sense that she wants the spell to be broken, she wants the Beast to learn his lesson, which is very interesting. Having her arrive after the spell has completed and actively reverse it is a riveting choice, and I actually felt like we were missing a moment with her where she realizes that she made a mistake. When she was watching the separated loved ones reunite, it seemed like there was a seed of remorse that was not addressed.

The character development is very well done across the board, but I think something this movie did that was important and contributes to its success is the development of the spell itself. I think this was one of the most brilliant moves the film made. The eternal winter around the castle explains the sudden weather changes in such a short period of time while still using the seasons as an emotional storytelling technique like the animated film. The wolves are also clearly part of the curse here – I would have actually liked to have seen them included in the finale sequence, either transformed into humans like the objects, or else disappearing like mist with the rest of the eternal winter. Having the castle crumble every time a petal falls from the rose is so smart as well; it explains why the objects know every time a petal fall while also representing their and the Beast’s disintegrating humanity. But the best part of the curse’s development was definitely the memory loss. Adding the simple line to the opening narration about removing the people of the castle from the minds of the people who loved them was absolutely inspired. This one quick line explained a huge loophole that the animated film left regarding the presence of a massive castle in the woods and a royal family that apparently the entirely world did not know about. But even better than that, it created some wonderfully emotional reunions at the end. My friend beside me gasped so loudly when our favorite teapot exclaimed, “Mr. Potts!” and the moment with Henri Cogsworth and his wife(?) was so hilarious and, in my opinion, subtly hinted at our second LGBT character in this universe. Which brings me to the Lefou thing.

Here’s what my friend and I came up with: in the opening sequence, we see Cogsworth lurking in the shadows telling the Prince that “it’s time,” we see Lumiere handing the Prince a candelabra, we see Mrs. Potts chasing after Chip… in the midst of all this, we could also show a masked jester entertaining a few people at the ball. When the Enchantress arrives, a lot of people run out – presumably that’s where Mr. Potts and Mrs. Cogsworth escape and why they’re not included in the spell – and the jester leaves with them as well. At the end, the Pottses are reunited, the Cogsworths are reunited, and then Lefou recognizes his old beau, Chapeau the violinist/coat rack, and joins the finale back in his jester outfit. It makes total sense for Lefou to be “the fool” of course and explains why he falls into the abusive friendship he has with Gaston, since it would parallel the relationship he probably would have had as a jester for the similarly self-centered Prince. This adds two quick two-second shots to the opening scene, one of the masked Lefou juggling or something and one of him fleeing when the Enchantress shows up, and about twenty seconds at the end for the reunion and revelation and, in my opinion, is so much less problematic than writing our first ever LGBT Disney character as an evil sidekick with a forced redemption arc – this way, he had his memory erased, just like everyone else. Just our little idea but I think it could have blended into this world quite smoothly. Alas, here we are.

Moving on! The finale is absolutely gorgeous. The whole ending sequence is my favorite thing about the whole film. The fight scene is fantastic and then from there to the end, everything is so marvelous. We know the objects are going to be okay in the end, but seeing them all finally lose the battle they’ve been fighting and become motionless household objects is… emotional! Then the Prince’s transformation is brilliant, giving the perfect nods to the original film, and each character’s subsequent change back to their human state is perfect (Cadenza’s teeth!), especially when Mrs. Potts and Chip go sliding down the steps. And then when she says, “You smell so good,” oh my gosh. Whoever contributed that line is a genius. I go all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. Then we have the wonderful and funny reunions and then the final dance sequence, where Emma is beautiful and Dan is looking good in bright sky blue and rococo curls in his hair. Audra McDonald sings flawlessly and we have that beautiful moment between Mrs. Potts and Maurice that made my little shipper heart do a backflip, even if there is a Mr. Potts now. I’m still not sure if I’m on board with the growl, but I adore the line about the beard – apparently it was written for the original film and Paige O'Hara even recorded it! But it interrupted that finale sequence so they never used it. I think it works perfectly here, it’s so cute.

The first time watching, I felt the pacing was so odd in the film, with some abrupt transitions that didn’t quite work. I felt that less so the second time, maybe just because I was expecting it, and sometimes I actually liked the sudden change. I also don’t fully understand the shuffling of scenes at the beginning. The animated film goes (1) “Belle,” (2) Belle and Maurice at home, (3) Maurice leaves for the fair, (4) Maurice arrives in the castle, (5) Gaston proposes, (6) “Belle (Reprise),” (7) Philippe comes back and tells Belle to the castle. The movie rearrange this so almost all of the village scenes happen together, reordering that sequence as 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 4, 7. Because of this we end up going from Maurice’s whole scene in the castle, back to the village for about thirty seconds with Philippe and Belle, then right back to the castle again. This made the whole sequence of events feel rushed even though each moment was given about the same amount of time, or more, as the original film. Additionally, I felt some of the filming choices from a cinematography point of view were weird. There were several times that we were zoomed in on a character, usually Belle or Gaston in the village, and it felt like the shot was kept tight to hide something but then there wasn’t anything to hide… it’s a hard thing to articulate, but I definitely noticed it through both viewings.

The design of this movie is amazing. Breathtaking. Thousands of beautiful costumes and such detail – human Cogsworth’s buttons have the Roman numeral numbers on them! Not to mention the object designs. Lumiere’s candlestick form is clearly inspired by the Broadway production, which was an absolutely brilliant choice. Garderobe’s wardrobe form is A THEATRE, it has box seats and a stage with curtains as her mouth piece! Even the villagers are designed with such care, memorable and reminiscent of the original in many places – the man with the scissors and the guy with the mustache, the Baker is very similar to his animated design… I would have liked to have seen blonde silly girls to contrast them more distinctly with Belle, but they are what they are. The set design, from the village to the absolutely incredible castle, it’s all so, so good. I love the little flowers painted on the doorway to Maurice’s cottage and I loved the magnificent, baroque-meets-gothic design of an extremely unique castle. I know people are up in arms about the yellow dress, I know it’s not perfect, but it doesn’t stick out so horribly in the movie and it moves so beautifully in the ballroom scene. And honestly, I’ve never cared about the yellow dress, the blue dress is the one I’ve always loved and I just think the live action interpretation is glorious. It does not feel like a costume, it feels worn-in, it feels natural, like it’s just Belle’s favorite dress, and I just love it so much.

Speaking of detail, they named the village. And they named it Villeneuve. As in Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve, the original author of the fairy tale. Come on. That’s fantastic.

Let’s see, some of my other favorite moments that jumped out at me that I wanted to mention… the whole “Gaston” scene in the tavern is awesome, maybe my favorite scene besides the finale sequence. I love that Lefou is going around paying everyone off to boost Gaston’s ego, I love the dance, I love the use of Tom, Dick, and Stanley as cronies throughout the entire movie, I love lifting the young woman and then lifting Lefou, the whole song is fun and funny and exciting and the new lyrics are just amazing - “Then I shoot from behind!” “Is that fair?” “I don’t care!” …That’s exactly what’s going to happen in the final battle. Ugh. So good.

The moment in “Something There” where the Beast moves to Belle’s end of the table, she puts down her spoon, and they both sip their soup out of the bowl… that hit me in a way the animated movie never has before. It’s amazing symbolism. He can’t eat with the spoon, she’s not going to lap it up like an animal, so they find a way they can both eat the same way. They’re meeting each other halfway. That’s some good stuff right there.

OH, and I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned “Be Our Guest!” Come on. They went hard with that. They put on a full Broadway production on the table in front of Belle! The way it just kept growing bigger and bigger was delightful. Plus I love that the grey stuff is designed after Be Our Guest Restaurant’s grey stuff, complete with the silver and grey chocolate caviar beads.

Replacing the animated film’s bookstore, which never really made sense in a town of people who think reading makes someone weird, with a small shelf holding a dozen old and worn books that Belle has read over and over is just such a wonderful touch. I love that Belle’s favorite play is Romeo and Juliet because she’s barely read anything else and I love that the Beast’s reaction is to roll his eyes at her selection. I would have liked to have seen the giving of the library be a little more deliberate and a little less off the cuff, and I definitely missed the “promises you don’t intend to keep” line, but I’m so satisfied with the choice to make the Beast a reader. Having “a very expensive education” totally makes sense, and what else would he have had to do with all that time? They each develop the other’s literary taste! What’s better in a relationship than that?

The new songs are lovely as well. “How Can A Moment Last Forever?” is so much better than “No Matter What,” I wish it could logically fit into the musical instead because it’s really, really good. “Days in the Sun” is so sweet, it’s nice to have those moments with the young prince and each of the objects and even Belle, and honestly I can’t stand “Human Again” so I’m good with this one, plus the lyrical nod to “A Change in Me” is nice. But “Evermore” is clearly stealing the show as far as the new songs are concerned. What a great song. I still think they could have done a little tweaking to the lyrics in order to still use “If I Can’t Love Her” but if we’re going to write a new song for the Beast, I’ll take this one. (But can we not digitally lower Dan Stevens’s voice next time? It sounds like a computer singing at some points.) I also loved all of the new/old lyrics that were incorporated into the songs we were familiar with. They felt fresh without being forced. The new “Gaston” lyrics are definitely my favorite, but the new lyrics that Mrs. Potts sings in the finale are touching. Plus, using the Broadway songs as underscoring was really nice, especially “Home.”

I’m just so delighted with this movie. Everything from the original is there but now there’s more. The stove is there. The coat rack is there. The footstool is there. They just paid so much attention to detail and did this movie the justice it deserved. I’m already prepared to call this my favorite movie. Easily. By miles. It’s beautiful and just absolutely everything I was hoping it would be.