and yes i did put in a whole bunch of windmills

anonymous asked:

1, 3, 38 & 36 Bucky/Tony

AN: This one was super fun - might have ended up more humorous than the prompter requested, but I couldn’t help it. This is an AU where apparently Buck and Tony bought a house and live together, and Steve is tiny.

The prompts were: ‘You’re really soft’, ‘You’re cute when you’re worried’, ‘Have you lost your mind?’, and ‘I’d like it if you stayed’.

Beware the read more.

Tony had been asleep for three blissful hours when he was jolted awake by what sounded like a stampede of elephants, or maybe just one really angry one. “Jay?” The question was groggy and slurred, but his AI was used to his peculiarities and understood him just fine.

“It appears Sergeant Barnes and Mr. Rogers are at the door, Sir,” JARVIS answered, amusement ringing clear through his words. “They seem to have forgotten that Sergeant Barnes has a key.”

Groaning, Tony dropped his head back onto the pillow and dragged both hands down his face. They had to be drunk - there was no other explanation for it. His Bucky-babe was pretty smart, usually, and Steve wasn’t all that lacking in intelligence either. For them both to have forgotten that Bucky could get in, and that their neighbors hated when there was ‘a racket’, they had to be three sheets to the wind. The pounding was only getting louder, and he could hear some muffled shouting too. They were so getting a call in the morning, or maybe Mr. Heins would be over himself, looking all mean-faced. Hell, if the idiots kept it up, they might even get a lovely visit from the police that very night.

“Goddammit. Jay, why didn’t we put in the sensors so you could open doors on your own yet?” As he spoke, he reluctantly rolled out of bed, stumbling a little before he caught himself. Yawning and scratching his stomach, he hurried to the door as fast as he could, cursing his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s BFF. “This is a pain in my ass.”

“You had the trip to India, Sir, and then you were offended when Mr. Rogers called me ‘creepy’ and insinuated you would be lost without me.”

“But I would be.”

“You never like that pointed out, Sir.”

“Huh. True. Okay. Well, put in on the fucking list, because this is ridiculous.”

“Before or after painting the garage?”

“What the fuck do you think?”

“Before then. Done, Sir, and would you like me to intercept the call currently being placed to the local police department?”

“That’s really sweet of you,” he answered, scowling as he neared the door. “But I don’t need people thinking you’re like… SkyNet or something. We’ll just handle the police when they get here. Maybe I'l put some coffee on for them.” Tony could have given the idiots warning, but instead he stood to one side, then yanked the door open hard. Bucky and Steve tumbled inside in a tangle of limbs and a lot of really loud cursing, which was fucking aggravating because now Mrs. Heins would be the one to visit, holding a bar of soap in a very pointed manner. Jesus fuck. “Have you lost your mind?” he hissed, not sure which moron he was talking to. Bucky should know better, and Steve definitely knew better, and whoever the hell had driven them here was officially on his shit list.

“TONY!” Bucky bellowed, shoving Steve away from him and lunging at Tony’s legs. He just about took Tony to the floor with him, but Tony firmed his knees just in time, arms windmilling wildly as he tried to keep his balance. “I missed ya. Missed ya lots'n lots'n lots'n… just a whole bunch.” His idiot boyfriend clearly had no volume control at the moment, because he was sill talking way too loud, with just a touch of a slur. Thankfully, Steve had crawled his way to the door and slammed it shut, and was now staring at it in a very satisfied manner.

“Kept the outside out,’ he reported proudly to no one. Tony could feel a throbbing in his left temple, and he prayed for patience as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

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