and yeah i love this coloring so much

Here’s all the things that I’ve been working on. (Have fun scroling.)

1st: The people that I follows A.K.A my senpais:

@nekophy - First and for most, you’re amazing. Your art is beautiful in every piece. Your OCs are cute and adorable. You YOURSELF is amazing a hyperactive. Keep on being a cute little stick cat! Also I want to draw you as a cat and not a stick cat so sorry for that

@angexci - I can’t say how wonderful you are in any way possible. Your traditional are perfect, but your digital art is so awesome! You are amazing, everytime you post something, either a shitpost or an art piece, I love it all. So continue being a cool bird!

@jakei95 - One question, HOW. THE HELL. ARE YOU. SO FREAKING CALM?? Okay, you’re really, AWESOMELY cool. Your characters are cool, cute, awesome at the same time. Your art is TOO COOL, OKAY?? Also, you’re funny, like EXTREMELY FUNNY. Please continue on being a funny and cool potato! :3 I dunno I drew the background galaxy

@gabi4chan-akatsuki - I know your blog is not art related but I like Vocaloid and your Vocatale AU. I ADORE your Vocaloid covers, it sounds amazing. So just keep on tuning!

@wilyart - I know you don’t post much, but you are still amazing. I don’t have much to say aside from that your art are fabulous.

@kyashee-art - I. LOVE. EVERY. PIECE. OF ART. YOU MAKE. THAT’S ALL I COULD SAY. I can’t say anymore than compliment your art. I made this before you changed your mascot so oops.

@trashy-artzy-me - You’re one of the best traditional artist I’ve ever know. Personaly I feel that you’re cool :). Keep on being amazing!

@blogthegreatrouge - I can’t say you’re cool and amazing enough. You’re the first person i followed, the person that I made my blog for, the first person that I actually motivates me to post on Tumblr. Your art are all from the heavens. Except those sin art. So I hope you never give up and continue on!

@renrink - *inhales* YOU ARE SO COOL. Especially your AU, Reapertale is so cool and I’m waiting for your stuff. Your art are so goddamn wonderful, like DAYUM. I once tried to color like you but I failed so bad, I deleted it. :P. Just continue on being a cool dude gal!

@walkingmelonsaaa - I can’t say your art is amazing enough. Your lines, your coloring, your porotions! It’s beatiful! You are an art goddess to me, to everyone who knows you. So keep on making amazing art! I didn’t know what to draw for the background so I tried and it sucks >:(

@zarla-s - To be honest, I know you from Quotev XD, I read your fanfictions and I’m still waiting and I read the comics and I compared it and I’m surprised. Anyways, your art are so cute, espescially the skelebros! I want to say you’re great! Continue on!

@golzy - I know you’re on hiatus but I wanna say that I want feels too :3.I love your art, you’re talented at a young age. I’m cheering for you! I drew you in your Gay Daddy outfit with some fixing—

@camilaart - Through all the things that happened, you pushed through and fly up above! I wish you would never give up! Ever!

Sapphire by @sapphirescarletta123

Rey by @reyindee

@yugogeer12 - You’re from a cool gal to cute bean. AN ADORABLE BEAN!!! Your art are so goddamn cute!! So cute man! Your Epictale AU is great and EPIC! Keep on being a mixure of a cute and EPIC!!

@allesiathehedge

2nd: People that I follows A.K.A my senpais in CHIBI FOOOOOOORM!!! XD:


Sharky by @myebi

@ania-da-peasant - Though those idiotic people send hate, send you ask that lacks inteligence. You still pushed through. You was pushed down before but you stood up and face them. So never lose hope! Stay DETERMINED!

@theodd1sout 

@owlturdcomix

@mudkipful 

@rosannapansino RosannaPansino

Perf by @perfectshadow06

3rd: For some of my followers:

@notch0607 @mkitkat @broken-tale-comic @nekokurisu @locis-didi @lazyartz @xxlisagamerxx @undertalefan1111 @anda-blr @cyberbullybro @saskiakawaiistudio @4jen

4th: My awesome friends!:

@mercury-draws-shitz - You’re great, even though it may not feel like it, it is. You’re the first one that actually made fanart for me :’DD So keep being cool!

@thekawaiichibigirl - You are a great friend, though you’re depression is bad, you’re pushing through!! I was– I mean EVERYONE was very worried, so don’t do that ever again. Those people are still hating but you’re answering them in a bad a$$ way!! Sorry Arty Just keep being who you are!!

@anndreemurr - We talk for like once and some how became friends X’DD So just wanna say that your art are everything! It’s so beautiful! So continue being cute and cool :D

@ithinkiamanartist - You’re the one that I talk to the most XDDD omg okay umm.. *inhales* YOUR COOL. You’re just like a cool big sister to me. Da coolest were cat big sister I’ve ever nyew. Your art is coot and cool just like you! Continue on being coot and cool kay sis? :) 

@armitie - Yay time for my first friend I ever made here :’D You are a little roll of memes and shitpost oh ye– You’re the meme sister and super SUPER weird. Your art is super duper cute!! ((I like slim bodies)) Though we don’t talk much, I still love you with every inch of— So keep on doin’ it!

@elamania - Time for my second friend that I made here! Where you’ve been? Nah just kiddin’ I’m not gonna joke like that. I must say that your coloring are wonderFUR!! Get it ‘cause you’re a cat? Yeah? Okay ._. 

@unlikelykingdomsuit - I know we rarely talk, but I still love your art. You’re real FURtastic! Yeah. Puns. I suck at it. But I still want you to know that care about you. Holy that sounds cheesy

@burntsalmonfishy132005 - HI LITTLE CHICKEN!! The second Vietnamese friend I made. You’re a cute little spammer. Yup - u - b Your art is adorable as heack! So keeo on being a cute little chick! ;D

@mikaru-blackspade - I know you’re banned from any social media but you’re still my first Vietnamese friend. You’re a great artist even if you don’t think you are. I wanna say keep on doin’ it!

@pandurrpink - Though we just became friends like a few weeks ago, you still counts as my dear friend. AND HOLY YOUR COLORING IS EVERYTHING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Continue to be an amazing artist Pandurr!

5th: The youtubers that I subscribe:

Aphmau

PopularMMOs

GamingWithJen

DanTDM

LDShadowLady

JaidenAnimations

Domics

StacyPlays

Ha! I can do something better with my birthday than writing and doing this. Only llike 3 or 4 people wish me “Happy Birthday”. This joke is so lame.

8

Favourite Exhibitions [YUZURU: 1/?]  Requiem of Heaven and Earth, 2016 NHK Special Exhibition (x)

5 REASONS TO FALL IN LOVE:

      When it came to love, you never understood what all the fuss was about, truly, you didn’t. Not until you met Steve Harrington, that is, and the whole world just started making sense.


EARLY MORNING KISSES:

The first privilege came in arguably the most affectionate show of love – a kiss placed on your lips so early in the morning you never quite know whether you’re dreaming or awake. And it is the absolute sweetest because you are the first thing on Steve’s mind when he opens his eyes and the last one before he closes them.

Early birds chirp their cheery tunes at dawn and the sun slowly rises; bright rays peak through the closed curtains of your room and burn the side of your cheek in almost a loving way. Steve is the first to stir – naturally, he is much more sensitive to sudden changes in lighting and temperature – and once he pries one hazy sleep ridden eye open all he can make out is a blurry image of your white ceiling. He blinks a few times, inhales a few breaths that taste like your perfume before his senses finally flow back into him and he tilts his head to the side. His hair sticks to his face and he shoves it out his eyes; he sees you still deep in sleep and most likely dreaming. And he wastes no time to lay his hand on your waist, feel your hot skin burn his fingertips as a lazy smile blooms on his lips. This peace lasts a moment, or possibly much longer, after all it’s hard to tell time when most of the world is still sleeping. He leans in and captures your lips in a soft kiss – a kiss he gives you every morning because true to the fairytale of Sleeping Beauty, you can only be awoken by a true loves kiss. He tried other methods. Tickling. Calling your name. A dozen alarm clocks. Nothing got a reaction, except this one thing and he did not use it sparingly.

The vast skies of dreams cloud with reality as slowly you feel yourself sucked into a stuffy, hot room, with dewy sweat coating your skin and batches of hair tickling your cheeks. The senses alert  in one deep inhale and you grin immediately once you realize that Steve’s lips still rest on yours; a raspy giggle escapes you as you playfully smack his arm and he gradually, with one last peck on your cheek and a sweet and hoarse ‘Good morning…’ moves back to his pillow. Your hand finds his under the sheets, your fingers squeezing his as you hum.

Babe…” You whisper.

“Yea?”

Not morning…”

“Morning. School.”

No.”


MOVIE DATES:

Hawkins Movie Theatre is your favorite spot to hang out and of course Steve knows this. After all, he took you here on your first date. So each time you stepped through those double doors felt like the first time holding his hand all over again.

Midnight séance. A horror movie with flashy imagery and more nudity than you expected plays on screen as teenagers that are legal and not sit in couples and whisper amongst themselves. You sink into the plush red seat and inhale the scent of popcorn, cola, and something frying. The sounds are loud and unpleasant and you have to refrain from cringing when the volume jumps just a bit too loud. Your eyes stay glued to the screen despite the urge to ogle your boyfriend – you know that once you glance at him you will be unable to look away.

His hand rests on your thigh. Naturally, shoulder hugs are only for starting lovebirds, but you still remember how he pulled the old ‘yawn-wrap-my-arm-around-your-shoulders-don’t-freak-out-please’ shtick on you and how you absolutely swooned. Suddenly memories appear more interesting than the movie and you drift away. Oh, what a rainy day it had been when he had asked you out, not all that smug and cool. Not like the rumors painted him to be at all. He caught you after school, after basketball practice, as you were leaving your club with a stack of books and flyers occupying the space in your hands. He had offered to carry some heavier books and you had smiled sweetly at him for it. Then, once you reached your locker, and as you put the clutter away he had asked you if you wanted to ‘Catch a movie sometime?’. Your first reaction was to raise a brow in confusion and mild amusement. When you saw that he was serious, and despite himself nervous, your cheeks bloomed red and a shaky ‘Yeah…I’d like that’ fell from your lips before you could even think about it.

Steve’s hand squeezes your thigh and you perk up. Meeting eyes with him you try to bite down the smile. Seems he got bored of the movie, too.


SHARING SECRETS:

Your house had been turned upside down as you, in great anger, tried to explain what the hell had happened to one of your friends. And how no one was supposed to know about it.

Steve sat on your bed with a book in his hand – English literature, can’t say it’s his favorite – as you pace around the small space of your room with your hands up in the air repeating the same wild gestures as you fight to control the volume of your voice. With blushed cheeks and a permanent frown on your face, you suddenly halt and stare at him, “Can you believe it?!”

“No.” He says, turning a page, “How could she?” His voice tatters on the edge of genuine interest. Frankly, he doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal, but if you want to vent he isn’t going to stop you.

“I know, right!?” You release a frustrated sigh and run a shaky hand through your hair; a moment of absolute silence passes and worried Steve glances up at you. Wide eyed, you state, “I don’t think I can be friends with her after this.”

You want his opinion. Dear God, you want his opinion. His advice is debatable in quality (Dustin, after all, didn’t get the girl despite Steve’s 100% proven technique) and to toss in his two cents in the beef that you have with your friend? This may potentially ruin your and hers friendship, or at the very least what’s left of it. Silently, he puts the book aside and motions for you to come closer. Sadly you walk over, and gently grasping your hand he pulls you into his lap. His head comes to rest on your shoulder as his arms wrap around your waist and you find a comfortable position to rest. A heavy sigh escapes your lips and he can’t help but frown. He doesn’t want to see you like this.

Hey…” He calls softly, his fingers hooking some loose strands of (color) hair over your ear, “Don’t be sad. I mean, I’m really not the best person to discuss girl troubles with, but like you said…She’s a bitch.”

You nod, “I know, but…But she’s my bitch, Steve.”

He thinks, “…Yeah. She’s your bitch.”

“I should call her.”

“Yep. You go do that.”


TAKING PICTURES TOGETHER:

You love looking at pictures. Especially on rainy days when there is nothing better to do and the need for social interaction is on an all-time low. You suppose you like them so much because they are proof. Proof that something magical had happened.

Oh my God!” Your mother cries, her hands grasping the Polaroid camera as if her life depends on it, “Oh my God, (F/Name)! (F/Name) come here! Our little baby’s all grown up now!” Her voice cracks at the end and you can’t help but release an amused smile.

You share a look with Steve. He gives a shrug. The two of you stand together, his arm around your waist. Graduation. You wear your best dress, finest hairdo, and perfect smile. You are positive Steve put an extra hours’ worth of work into his hair today, and you have the sudden urge to run your finger through it, though the amount of self-control you have surprises even you.

Another flash lights up the room and flinch and squint your eyes to shield yourself from the sudden attack. This is possibly the sixteenth picture that had fallen to the floor with your mothers promise to ‘Pick it up later! Now pose!’. Not having the heart in you to refuse her, you straighten your back, smile to the camera, and pray that you don’t look half as uncomfortable as you feel. Steve leans in and you feel his breath brush your ear, “Do you think she’ll ever stop?”

“Smile and pretend like you’re having a good time, sweetie.”


VIBING ALL NIGHT LONG:

The amount of records you have stocked up in your room makes Steve proud to call you his girl. The fact that the two of you share the same music taste is a huge plus, too.

…And your favorite song starts playing on the radio that goes in perfect tune with your laughing. Steve’s car suddenly turns into a dance floor – you squirm in your seat and do quick work to open the window to let the whole neighborhood hear your jam. The stars shape into fairy lights and street lamps flicker like at the disco on a Friday night. You close your eyes and inhale the scent of dewy grass as and wind and pollinated sleeping flowers. Summer is your favorite time of year, and no matter what hour you decide to sneak out the house you always find yourself in a permanent state of daze and awe. Last remnants of heat tickle your cheeks and you flash your eyes open, look at Steve and he shares your brilliant smile.

You hold your choice of beer up to his face, “Sippy!” You demand. He gives you a dismissive laugh, his hands firmly on the steering wheel as he continues to drive around.

“I can’t—“ But before he can finish you turn up the volume and demand again.

“Sippy!”

“I’ll have to park the car!” He warns. You shake your head, “We’ll have to walk a mile home!”

“Don’t care! Sippy!”



a/n: edited this at 3am lmao don’t @ me if u find mistakes orz
ALSO! FEEL FREE TO ADD TO THE LIST <3

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MASTERLIST.


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4

WHAT THE FCUK WHAT THE F UKC WHAT THE F KU C I LOVE H I M

3

hey my lovely dear friends, human or otherwise 😺🐶 I was lucky enough to receive an early access code from EA for the new cats & dogs expansion!! big thanks going out to EA!

so, without any further ado, I am so excited to share with you my take on the highly anticipated addition of our furry friends into the sim world. join your girl blarf as I take on my first day in Brindleton Bay! 

Keep reading

Deeper Than Ink | 01

P R E M I S E ⇒

Should you fall in love with someone, even in the slightest, your skin becomes marked with vibrant colors that depict the story of your emotions. A tattoo, per say. However, should they or you fall out of love, the bright hues dull to black and the feelings you once had for each other melt away. To many, it’s a blessing to not have to live with the pain of your past. But what’s the point when you have too many reminders–say 27?

P A I R I N G ⇒  namjoon x reader

G E N R E ⇒  angst, tattoo au, soulmate au

W O R D S ⇒  7.281

P A R T ⇒  one | two | three


Pebbles bounced against the sidewalk, caught between the concrete and the rubber soles of boots dragging across the pavement. The movement was slow and the sound was reminiscent of a modern romantic defeat, another tally to add to the chalkboard. Another inked reminder that would be incomplete on a pale skin canvas.

A single finger rose to itch at the back of a studded ear, scratching just above the intricate black swirls of patterned water that was splayed over a neck. The owner of this design–and the 27 others cluttering his skin–wasn’t a lost cause or a serial romantic as many had come to believe. But potentially the most unlucky man in the world.

There were many others like him, decorated in dozens of these brandishes to signify their accomplishments in a manner akin to a trophy shelf. Their skin was littered with these marks of past lovers who were only intended to become blackened symbols. However, hoarding tattoos of ones he adored was not a game to him like it was to others; he feared the attention and judgment that his ink gave him.

He was enamored by people and their stories, the things they had to say and the words that they would whisper to him. Falling for them was simply a side effect of his own curiosity that he had no control over, as the patterns would only appear when the emotions were mutual. People were drawn to him, not for the art etched into him, but for his elegant thoughts and charming words.

Keep reading

1. I should’ve bought more flowers for you, now I buy flowers even if today isn’t Valentine’s Day or a day with a specific meaning, in a way, every petal is imbued with an apology and every time someone leans in to smell it they can feel the parts of me that you’ve forgiven far long before I could

2. I didn’t start to feel better until I started to take better care of myself, a constant whisper of you saying “i was just worried about you”

3. You can’t let someone be your only source of happiness because once they’re gone, you’re all alone again and there’s nothing worse than starting all the way back over with yourself: square one of a broken heart multiplied by the intensity of she’s not coming back, let her go

4. Music will never betray me

5. Poetry is thinking that you’ve got it figured out and a metaphor is just your way of saying I don’t

6. Art rules the world and I am a masterpiece in progress; how can I love myself like how you did if I can’t see that little bit?

7. Lust isn’t conducive for growth, it’s like an addict trying to get his fix– some day, he’s going to break and not even the drug can help him

8. I buy myself nice things, but I can’t fill this emptiness inside of my heart– I guess some nights, I just miss being next to you

9. I still can’t get used to sleeping alone

10. Sometimes I wish I would’ve picked up your phone calls during the first few months, I broke my promise and you know something? I regret it

11. I threw away our love letters and memories two months ago, I cried the whole time– yeah, still a fool for you, but baby, we’ve changed so much, I’m happy with my unhappy

12. You once told me to go on many adventures without you, did you account for my depression? You know, I don’t blame you for any of this. In reality it was always an us thing, a too young thing, a stupid, mad love thing– as always, I still love you, I just don’t know what love is anymore

13. They were right, soulmates touch you and they change you forever– the moment a colorful paint filled brush hits the water and the figments of colors flow into the cup, you left my soul with so many seasons, I’m still raking up the leaves from last fall

14. The last time I saw you we shouldn’t have had sex, I think that night really broke you– I think that night really broke me too

15. I should’ve laid my head onto your chest and counted your heartbeats more often, I’m sorry

16. Sometimes when I talk to people and tell them random facts that you’ve filled my head up, I swear I can hear your voice echo in the back of my head– “baby, check this out, you’re gonna love it”

17. I always do

18. I still remember your favorite Harry Potter line

19. After all of this time? …Always.

20. I smoke cigarettes to think about how to think less, the fucking irony

21. I take painkillers and my excuse is that my right hand still hurts, in truth, I’m just another addict that believes if I take another maybe my heart might just start to sound like it belongs to me

22. I didn’t cut myself because I wanted to die, I cut myself open because I wanted to feel how often I made your heart break, each scar on my shoulders is a time when I’ve made you cry

23. And each night that I can’t sleep, I stay up wishing that you’re doing okay

24. I don’t pray often, but when I do, I always prayed for your mom, although she hated me, I’m so glad that she put you on this earth to allow us to meet– I have changed so much since I’ve met you

25. The crazy part? You still change me everyday

26. You know the renaissance era? Falling in love with you was like that

27. My favorite photo of us were those two kids eating a banana split at the New Orleans mall, I miss those two innocent kids, oh, how we’ve changed

28. We are destined to have this eternal flame kind of distance– the brighter I burn, the more you’ll read, the only thing that keeps me writing some days is knowing that somewhere, somehow you’re always reading, no matter who you’re with or if you’re laughing or crying or smiling

29. My number one fan was always you first

30. I’ve made so many bad decisions, you were never one of them

31. I’ve written so many bad poems, you were in every single one

32. I’ve written some pretty great ones too tho…!
You were also in those

33. I miss cleaning your eyes for you

34. I have met some amazing people because of what happened to us

35. I can’t get you by Fallbrooke the acoustic version is no longer on the internet, the funny part? The very last day that it was on the web, I downloaded it right before they removed it. It’s still my favorite song of all time, our song

36. Hold your tears by Clazziquai too

37. Sometimes when I get off from work, I sit in the car and cry, some tears don’t have meaning, they just need to come out

38. I claim to write poetry, but I feel like they’re just love letters sent to no one in particular

39. It’s not that I’m not over you, I’m just trying to get used to not needed you

40. It’s not that it hurts to the point where I can’t breathe, I’m just trying to light my own path to self-love and healing

41. The fact that your favorite color is orange, it makes the fruit taste some type of way

42. Sometimes I want to call you, but I don’t

42. Sometimes I want to text you and I do

43. Sometimes I want you to answer, I’m glad you don’t

43. Sometimes I just want to say fuck it all and call, I’m glad that I don’t

44. You stopped writing when we first met, in some way, the girl that waits by the shore has left a million pens near my desk and to this day– I wait by the shore too, just in case inspiration hits, right?

45. Our little codes of love finally decoded enough for me to not be blinded by you

46. We were both messed up people, I think we knew that about each other and maybe that’s why I always know when you’re not feeling okay

47. I still don’t have love figured out, but damn I’ll open every fucking door in my heart even if I have to go down the sewer to find every key

48. Someone says that she’s falling for me, I’m legit afraid to hurt people now– like it’s a real fear, I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore

49. I should’ve given you the stars, but instead I left your heart scattered across the universe

50. It’s been almost two year and I’m still writing about you, but at least it’s less often, right?

51. You’ve always been kinda self-centered, I think you enjoy it when I write about you. Like if I write about you in some way, maybe I’m still yours

52. We were just too damn young to realize how destructive passion, love, romance, stagnation, betrayal and pain is when mixed together

53. Sometimes I go to the places that we used to go just to create new memories without you

54. Sometimes it works

55. Most of the time, it just flicks me off

56. My brain is constantly telling me that I’m a fuck up and the more I try to get it right, the more I keep getting it wrong

57. I am trying to master the art of letting go

58. And this list is a step towards better things

59. And this life is going to be alright

60. Without you, I am still me

61. Without you, I can still breathe

62. Without you, I am still alive

63. Without you, I am still poetry

64. I can barely remember your face, I guess being around a lot of different people at work helps out plenty

65. This world is filled with pain, I hope you look back and smile about us some day

66. Maybe when you’re old and grey– you’ll remember those two young kids who slow danced in the dark

67. If we were made from the same star, I want to return home some day

68. I want to shine bright enough for the two of us

69. You’re still my best friend even if we no longer talk

70. You’ll always be my best friend

71. I still care about you

72. A whole fucking lot

73. The world is full of mysteries, I’m glad that we’re in the known, I’m glad that we’ve met

74. I hope you never regret me, you wanna know why? I could never, ever, ever, ever regret you

75. I don’t know how to open up to people anymore and I’m not sure if it’s my fault or yours– maybe this one time, it’s our fault… are you like this too?

76. I’ve been told that I’m too hard on myself, I firmly believe that one of the reason as to why we split was because I wasn’t hard enough on myself– I got too fucking comfortable with your promises and I took you for granted

77. Life waits for no one

78. I let an ex of mine break my red and black ring– she said that if I was over you, I’d let her break. I let her break it, but jokes on me, it didn’t change a thing about how I still feel about you

79. I keep writing and writing and writing because one of these days– it’ll stop being about you

80. Sometimes it works, but deep down, I know in some way, you’ll always find a way to sneak back out

81. I can’t get you out of my head sometimes

82. It’s even harder because you’re still inside of my heart

83. I saw this cool picture on Tumblr with someone cutting a piece of herself off that resembled two lovers splitting up, that shit looked like it hurt

84. Love hurts because even eating cotton candy ice cream really fast will give you a brain freeze

85. You didn’t like my rat tail idea, I grew one out just to fuck with you. Jokes on me, I love it now.

86. You never really supported the idea of me being anything, tbh, it’s not your fault. None of it is. I should’ve been my own motivation. I guess by supporting you through nursing school, I wanted to hear you say that I could do it even when I was at my lowest point.

87. I realized a few thing about loving you.

88. When you hit rock bottom, few will be loyal enough to stick it out with you

89. Money rules the world, since I’m not wealthy in any way– one day when I am, I can laugh a little about all of this

90. I think you loved our memories more than you loved me, in truth, I did too

91. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to get close to people

92. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to let you go

93. Maybe that’s why you still read

94. We had something raw and experimental, young and dumb, mistakes on top of mistakes

95. It was a perfect compass to point us to our future selves

96. I know a great many things now– although I am depressed, with or without you

97. I am great, I am strong

98. I am my own happy before anyone else’s

99. I can love myself enough to let you go

100. I had to hurt you to really, really grow–
I think to this day, that’s the thing that hurts me the most. That I had to hurt my best friend in this whole wide world, to make you crumble, to make you cry, to make you hate me– I had to do all of that in order to love myself. And it’s sad because here I am, still trying to figure it all out.



With or without you, I will be a better person.
—  100 things I figured out when we broke up
10

Daydream Generation Screencaps

(aka I wanted to test my bluray rip by screenshotting it)

Bonus:

soft, steady, saccharine — p.p.

summary → he’s never been one for the stolen kisses between two people that weren’t in love, and so peter parker’s never been kissed. 

word count → 1.5k

author’s note → yeah uh sorry this is all lowercase i didn’t even notice until i was finished aaaaand i’m lazy enjoy tell me what ya think :)

   maybe it’s embarrassing. he’s not sure, he’s never found it to be that way. peter has always been perfectly content with the minuscule fact that he’s never been kissed, not on the lips, not in that way,  by anyone. it’s never been something to really bother him, but he knows that for some reason it bothers plenty of other people his age; he’s heard the jokes in the hallways and silent classrooms where they talk about him and his loveless love life. apparently by the age of fifteen you were meant to have had plenty of flings and go-arounds with every willing person in queens. peter can’t help but disagree with such a statement- if he hasn’t kissed anyone yet, it’s for a reason, the reason being that he hasn’t wanted to. maybe he wanted to kiss liz allan, for that split second at homecoming right before he had slipped out of the dance to fight her father, but that second had passed. now, he had different feelings. 

   feelings that involved you, you, and, yes, you. oh, how in love he was with you. how smitten, how ridiculously enthralled. it wasn’t to be helped, controlled, stopped, it was just how it was. his utter adoration for you had been returned tenfold; you had wasted no time in telling him how fondly you regarded him, how long you had thought of him in a way that crossed the border of just friends and left you in crush territory. yet, despite the three month period of the two of you being exclusively together, so in love with each other it made others sick with jealousy and longing, not one kiss had been exchanged other than the ones you insisted upon pressing to his smooth cheek each day after you left him when school ended, or after a date. 

  you knew, understood, the nerves that shook peter whenever you seemed like you were going to kiss him that way. so you didn’t. you would never pressure him into anything, never in a million years. it was no secret that you had a bit more experience than he did, seeing as you had been in a relationship with someone else that peter was inclined to despise since you were in the eighth grade- only having broken up with the other boy after seeing him agree with flash’s crude depiction of peter early in sophomore year. that was where it had started. 

   “y/n, is it okay if- if i haven’t kissed anyone yet?” such an innocent statement from him after a month of dating, whispered quietly and hesitantly as if he hadn’t wanted to reveal it in the first place and felt like an idiot for doing so. “i know you have. with that ass- i mean, um, with him. i don’t wanna disappoint you. i’m very inexperienced.” he had let out an awkward laugh, ruffling his hair a bit. nervous. nothing new, not really. you had just slipped your hand inside his, squeezed, smiled. 

  “of course it’s okay, peter. stop acting like i’m ages older than you when your birthday is before mine and we’re in the same grade.” you nudged his shoulder playfully as he blushed just a little, just enough. “anyways, seriously, pete, it’s fine. whenever you’re ready, i’ll be, too. there’s no rush. i like being with you without the kissing.” 

   “great,” he had breathed, gathering up enough courage to kiss your cheek, pulling away after his lips had just barely brushed the skin on the side of your face. “had to make sure, ‘cause i’m definitely falling in love with you, and i don’t want you hating me if i can’t kiss right.” you had shoved peter again, practically overing your faec with your hands to hide the embarrassed grin that had so much happiness laced in it that you had to downplay it. “what? what’d i say?” 

   “you can tell me you love me but you can’t kiss me?” you teased. he didn’t saying anything, blushing again, a deeper color than before, as he swat your hands away from messing up his hair. 

  it was weird. he had no problem with words around you, surprisingly enough. it was actions that he was hesitant with. he had to ask to hold your hand- “i wanna hold your hand is that cool?” “yeah, of course, pete!” “oh man that’s great okay so here i’ll hold it.”-  to give you a hug- “hey later after our date i can hug you goodbye, right?” “i mean were you gonna give me a handshake or something, babe?” “oh, right, shut up! don’t laugh!”- to do anything, really. he was always seeking permission, not wanting to overstep any boundaries that you hadn’t spoken but still had in your mind. you insisted, however, that if there was something you were never going to be comfortable doing, you would’ve mentioned it already. 

   “hey, y/n?” peter rolls toward you on his bed, propping his head up by his elbow. he nearly knocks you off the bed by doing so, but tugs you back into place by locking his hand around your wrist and pulling. “sorry,” he grins sheepishly, still gazing up at you, your back against his headboard as you scroll through instagram on your phone, he ran his fingers over the back of your hand, subtly capturing your attention without pestering too much. he always afraid of being too much. “i had a question,” he says when you lock your phone and place it on his bedside table. 

   “what’s up, baby?” you give him a playful smile or smirk because you know how much he secretly loves it when you call him baby; it makes him blush and grow quiet and flustered within seconds, but he doesn’t want it to deter him this time. 

   “shut up,” he pushes your knee to the side as you laugh. “seriously, though. i need to ask you something.” you nod in wait, folding your hands in your lap. peter takes a deep breath, sitting up and crossing his legs and patting them against his knees. he’s jittery when he’s nervous. “i- i just maybe wanted to know if it was- if I could, maybe, like, kiss you? today? now? maybe? if you want. up to you, obviously, i just want to ‘cause i’m ready but if you’re not-” he rushes to add the last bit, unsure of whether you want this in first place, but you roll your eyes at him in that fake exasperated way as you turn your body to face him, legs crossed in the same position as him now.

   he looks anywhere but at you, so you cup his face with both hands and direct him back. “you know i’ve wanted to kiss you since the moment you said you were in love with me, right?” 

   peter melts underneath your touch, placing his hand over yours as he smiles brightly, casts his eyes down then back up again, passes his gaze over the nicely shaped curve of your mouth. he’s yearning to feel those lips on his, because he knows his first kiss is going to be everything if it’s with you, and he’s waited long enough. “i- i know. i just wanna make sure. you know how i am.” 

  “i do.” you finger trails across his bottom lip for a second. soft. you see him breathe in sharply, his eyes watching your every movement with his bottom lip still jutting out from where you touched him. “slowly, yeah? slow and steady. it’s just me and you, peter. if you hate kissing me we can stop.” you crack a grin as he shakes his head adamantly. 

  “that’s not possible,” he murmurs. he knows you have no problem with dragging this lighthearted, flirtatious banter out for hours, and he’s been dying to kiss you for so long now that he just does it. but he still goes slowly, steadily, the way you told him to. he places a hand behind your neck to pull you closer against him, barely moving his lips because he’s afraid to bite the pout of your lips that he loves so much. he’s had so many ridiculous fears pertaining to kissing you, but now that he’s doing it, it’s not as scary as he should have found it. when he pulls away, he leans his forehead against yours, breathing heavily through his nose and feeling like his heart was going to burst from its prison behind his ribcage. “how’d i do?” he asks, now shy as you open your eyes. 

   “perfectly, peter,” you kiss his lips again gently, a chaste kiss that ends as soon as it begins. “are you sure you haven’t been practicing on someone else? you’re an expert already, just gotta move that cute mouth a little more.” 

  peter laughs, shakes his head. “no. only you. i’ve only ever wanted to kiss you. and it was a great first kiss, by the way. and second.” so sweet it practically suffocates you in sugar, peter dips his head to capture your lips for a third time that night, thrilled with the knowledge that he’s not a failure when it comes to being your boyfriend, thrilled with the fact that he can kiss you without worrying about a thousand little things that you probably weren’t thinking twice on. there was only three things in life that mattered in this moment: a soft boy, steady heartbeats that forged into one, and the saccharine kisses he continued to bestow upon you in his quiet, peter way. 

tags : @parkerroos @hufflepuffholland @spideyyss @iusethistoreadfanfics @captainswriting @nedandpeter @pbpz @skymoonandstardust @lunastarwatcher @warcriminalrogers @brittyblogs @emmaaolsen @tiny-friggin-human @heartfrost @gentlethunderstorm @kawaiianime03 @xwinterromanxff @ravenclaws-say-caw @buckysmaingirl @spookeyspidey @idioticnerd24 @pillow223 @quacksontommy @fluffyavengers @tomarvelicious @wavy-ley @handsomeholland @radicalstars @partytrickparker @spideytattoo @nedslaptop @itsssmichelleee @stephie-senpai @fullwizardstrawberry @peterplanet @yoinkpeter @linnssweatpants @leahwhat @