and xzibit is here

Tinkering with: Top Techy Tazri Trigger Targets.

Alliteration is gross. So is a deck that does it all. Creatures with repeatedly-triggering spell-like abilities are good alone, but with Allies, they all synergize in a manner that makes me want to puke. Top it off with a general that can tutor one out for you on entering the battlefield (hello, Conjuror’s Closet) is disgusting. Needless to say, I love it. Here are some targets from general Tazri you may have overlooked something about. Also… Strionic Resonator.

So, discard. Dis(gusting)card is such a powerful tool as it is, and this triggers on any ally entering, including itself. Assuming you played an ally like Beastcaller Savant, dropped Tazri, and grabbed this, the odds are you’re about to pick the best card from the three or four cards your opponent wants least out of their hands. Then you’re going to do it again next turn for four or five. Then… well, you get the point. Get rid of their Blasphemous Acts and their Day of Judgements. Unless you grab…

“But Mr. Goblin scientist man, how do we use that trigger at instant speed?” The answe is simple, Johnny/Jenny- cards like Savage Summoning, Quicksilver Amulet, Alchemist’s Refuge, Leyline of Anticipation, Veldalken Orrery, and if you’re a true boss, Sneak Attack. So go ahead, hit those triggers at instant speed. Why not? It’s not like you’re playing mill, right?

When your opponent is successfully ensconced in a fort of pillows, turn to your friendly excavator. You’re already running every single clone effect, so this is an easy strategy to go all in with if you so choose. It’s a real thing and it will lose you friends. While you get rid of their cards, draw some of your own with another blue Ally:

Just go ahead and reread that line of text, because I don’t have to write jack diddly about this card. It works well with some card selection though. If only we could somehow decide what we were drawing next…

Much like Tazri, play and ally, get some allies. There’s an xzibit meme in here somewhere but I’m not going to look for it too hard. What if you get tired of playing allies? You’re jealous of that Craterhoof Behemoth you milled away with your Halimar Excavator. If only you could get it back from their graveyard. With an Ally. That does Ally things.

Oh man that’s sweet. Mill, Discard, Draw, Recursion, Tutoring, Selection, Aggro… This deck is just hideous. But do you want to know what the best ally in your whole deck is? The very best?

It’s nine allies. Nine allies is your best ally. Just win the game in a sickening manner. GG fellow magic players, gg.