and why it makes me cry everytime i see it

anonymous asked:

*crying* You're so kind and smart! You deserve all the kind anons and good fortune in your future

HFIUERHG LISTEN I AM AS SMART AS AN EXPIRED STRAWBERRY???

Few things about me:

  • I didnt know dogs had whiskers until like a year ago. I cried when I found out.
  • I thought rotisserie chickens were fried chickens in lingerie???? People talked about eating them all the time and I pretended not to be weirded out like “oh hey why are you telling me this sir, I just met you.”
  • I have this odd fascination with hands to the point my boss was talking to me and I saw his hand on the table. And I legit went wide-eyed and slapped my hand on his and said loudly “BIG HANDS????” he laughed at me and just kept talking.
  • Im allergic to 100x things but i keep eatting them anyway. 
  • I am deadly afraid of bananas. Their smell makes me RUN FAR AND FAST. Its promsien repellant
  • I HATED BEES. Until i watched 3 documentaries about them and now everytime I see a bee I cry. One flew into my lil starbucks bag and started eatting my blueberry muffin and I started crying and held the bag very still excitedly. My friend thought I lost it.
  • When I get bored around family I go to my dad and pat his belly like a bongo drum and I didn’t realize my older cousins (30s) were watching me. They are scared shitless of my dad cause he used to be in an indian mafia and kill people. But he is kind and soft with me???
  • I once got addicted to corn for 2 monthes. It was all I ate. My mother was ecastic because corn was like 4/$1.00 and she was saving money.
  • I also got addicted to blueberries. Im not allowed to eat them anymore because if I see ANY amount of blueberries I WILL EAT THEM!!!!!! (once ate 5 lbs at once 8^) )
Day 5: Insomnia - Keith

This is set at the beginning of season 3.  I don’t think there are any spoilers, but just a warning. Also, I’m really not sure of the timeline of events, so I’m making it up

I really like this one, I was getting so emotional writing the beginning, omg


Keith finds himself wandering the castle at three fifteen in the morning again.  Again.  

It’s going on four months since Shiro went missing, two months since Keith took over Shiro’s position, and he doesn’t sleep anymore. He tries, he really does - he’s exhausted and run down, and knows he needs sleep, but he just can’t.

Not when Shiro is missing and everyone expects him to be the leader.  He’s not cut out for it.  Shiro is the leader.  Shiro has this…innate sense for leadership.  He’s born for the role, not Keith.  Keith is a fuck up.  Keith screws up everything he touches.  Keith drives people away.  That’s why he tries so hard to keep everyone at a distance.

Shiro disappearing is just a stark reminder that everyone leaves.  Everyone leaves, and he can’t let himself get close to anybody else, because he looks up to Shiro so much and now he’s just so broken because his favorite person in existence is gone. No matter how much Keith tries, he can’t find Shiro.

Each time he lies down, he feels his body twitch with desperation and anxiety. Shiro’s face is behind his eyelids and in his dreams, and while it should be a comfort, all it does is make the hurt run deeper.  His chest has been aching and there’s been a lump in his throat since the moment they realized he wasn’t in his pilot’s chair, and Keith doesn’t know if he can take it anymore.

He needs Shiro back, he needs it like he needs air, because he’s a mess.  He’s okay when he’s with people, but the moment he’s alone, that’s when the gravity of the situation weighs on his shoulders. It’s too much.  It’s too much, and Keith isn’t sure how much longer he can handle it.  

He cries every night, to his dismay - he really hates crying.   

At this point, he’s gone two months without sleeping more than an hour or two a night and he feels dead on his feet.

Keith isn’t paying attention to where he’s going until he finds himself standing at Hunk’s door.  

He blinks heavily, swaying on his feet.

God, he’s tired.  

His body is screaming at him to rest, but he can’t.  

Hunk is suddenly in front of him. “Keith?”

“Oh, hey,” Keith says, shooting Hunk a very tired, worn out smile.

“What are you…it’s three thirty…why are you awake?”

“I…um…I couldn’t sleep,” Keith whispers, “did I wake you?”

“Yeah, but it’s-”

Keith’s eyes fills with tears, “I’m sorry.”

“No! No, no, it’s fine, I’m thirsty anyways,” Hunk lies quickly when he sees Keith’s face crumple.  “Since you’re up, come with me?”

Keith swipes at his cheeks, “yeah, okay.”

Hunk knows that Keith isn’t sleeping…everyone knows Keith isn’t sleeping, and they’re all worried.  Nobody’s quite sure how to broach the subject though, because the lack of sleep is making him snappy.  

Hunk takes a moment to study Keith’s face, which he can just barely see in the dim lighting.

Keith’s eyes are bloodshot and glassy, and beneath them are bags and deep purple bruises.  His face is void of any color, and Hunk pieces everything together.  

He’s sleep deprived, yes, and that accounts for a lot of his behavior recently. It can’t, however, fully be to blame for how slow and clumsy his movements have been, or how much he’s been struggling to process conversations.  Keith is low energy, and has been sounding increasingly run down, and Hunk finally realizes that Keith is definitely coming down with something.  

“Sit down,” Hunk instructs, pointing to one of the chairs at the counter. “Want anything?”

“Water?” Keith croaks out, grimacing at how dry his throat suddenly feels.

Hunk nods slowly, watching as Keith crosses his arms and sinks lower in his chair.  His eyelids droop, and he nods off briefly, but jerks awake a moment later when his head drops forward.

“Here,” Hunk says, placing a glass of water in front of him.

Keith stares at it for a full minute, blinking slowly before he shakes his head and looks at Hunk.  “Thank you.”

“Are you ready to go back to bed?”

Keith shrugs, “I think I’m up for the rest of the day.”

Hunk chews on his bottom lip, “How about we watch a movie, then?”

Maybe a movie will lull him to sleep.  

“Yeah…that sounds good,” Keith nods.  He sniffles and rubs at his nose that’s suddenly doing an impressive imitation of a faucet.

*

It’s six am, and Hunk’s plan didn’t work.  

Keith keeps nodding off, and is slumped against Hunk’s side. Each time Hunk thinks he’s asleep, Keith jerks awake not long after.  

Initially, Keith was on the opposite end of the couch, but as he began to feel worse and worse, he inched closer and closer to Hunk until he’s pressed into his side.

Hunk’s wracking his brain to think of ways that will get Keith to stay asleep, because Keith really needs to get a decent night’s sleep.

Keith curls into himself as he goes into another chesty coughing fit. He shivers, and Hunk reaches for the blanket that’s draped on the back of the couch. As soon as the blanket is on him, Keith tries getting warmer and presses himself closer to Hunk.

“Are you alright?” Hunk asks.  He brushes his fingertips across Keith’s forehead and grimaces as Keith’s skin burns beneath his touch.

“M’tired.”

“I know…you have a fever.”

Keith is silent and then offers a weak, “Oh.”

He sits up, but he’s suddenly so exhausted that he can’t hold himself upright, and he drops down onto Hunk.  Keith grips his shirt tightly, eyes filling with tears.

“I don’t…I don’t feel good, Hunk.”

“Yeah?” Hunk frowns, “I didn’t think so.  Is there anything specific that’s bothering you?”

“I-I…I j-just…I d-don’t f-feel well,” Keith whimpers, sniffling miserably.

His entire body is aching and heavy, which Keith isn’t sure if it’s because he’s running a fever, or if it’s from sheer exhaustion. Everything hurts - head, throat, muscles; his sinuses are throbbing, and he can feel the congestion rattling around in his lungs with each inhale.   He needs to sleep.

“You want me to see if there’s anything that’ll help you sleep?”

“I have to find Shiro,” Keith mumbles, his tone verging on desperation.

“What does that have to do with sleeping?”

There’s a beat, and then, “If I sleep…I won’t be able to find him.”

“Keith, you can’t find him like this.”

“I know,” he moans, bursting into tears, “I’m useless.  I’ll never be a good leader, I can’t even find Shiro, why would black pick me?”

“Keith,” Hunk breathes, wrapping his arms around his feverish, emotional teammate. “Black picked you because you’re going to make a great leader, you’ve just gotta have a little faith in yourself.”

Keith says nothing, his face buried in Hunk’s chest. “But is that why you haven’t been sleeping? You think sleeping will stop you from finding Shiro?”

He stops crying after a few minutes and tightens his grip on Hunk’s shirt. “I try to sleep…but I can’t. Everytime I close my eyes, I see him.  And then I do fall asleep, and I have nightmares about him…I’m so tired…I just want to sleep.”

Hunk thinks for a few moments, “I’ll be right back.  I’m going to go get you something that will help with that.”

Hunk is gone and back before Keith is able to process their conversation.

“What’s that?” Keith frowns when Hunk hands him two small pills.

“Sedative,” He says. Keith shakes his head, the movement jerky and uncoordinated and it makes his head spin.  “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t…I can’t sleep,” Keith says in a small voice and grips Hunk’s shirt again. “What if something happens? I’m the leader…I have…I have to be alert.”

Hunk smiles softly, “You’re not going to be alert if you don’t get some rest.”

“But what if something happens?”

“Nothing will happen, and if it does, I’ll handle it.  You just need to sleep.”

Two minutes after Keith takes the pills, Hunk feels his grip on his shirt loosen. Keith’s hand falls limply to his side as he finally falls into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Yoon Jisung || Fuckboi

Originally posted by fangdaniel

I’m seriously thinking about writing the other members fuckbois (excluding jihoon and Daehwis but that the same time I wanna start some other series like when they like you but you like someone else but idkkkk)

•Honesty how can this caring mother be a fuckboi…

•But is the type of fuckboi that makes girls think they’re the only one and that he only loves them but he doesn’t genuinely

•Like Jisung is naturally a really nice, caring and supportive person but only means it when you’re his friend

•Has once dated 3 girls at the exact same time

•Girl honestly only want to get with him because he’s literally one of the best boyfriend’s ever, rumored by girls that dated him for a week.

•Like he’s literally so squishy when he’s dating them and nicely breaks up with to avoid any salty ex’s

•So literally the next day after one of his recent breaks up he’s looking for his next girl when his eyes land upon you

•You looked like his typical type so only naturally he’s drawn towards you

• When he introduced himself to you he was his natural friendly self with his adorable smile

•He’d be a little surprised at your lack of shyness because literally every girl always melts

•But he’d try again in try to get a reactions from you

•“So what class do you have now? Mind if I walk with you?”

•“Actually my class is right here but nice try.” He’d be a little shook with how easily you’d brushed him off and rejected him

•However that wasn’t the end of him trying actually he’d even take the time to observe you because he wasn’t about to let his heartbreak slip through his fingers

•He’d notice you’re mostly quiet and pretty serious despite your looks and he’d make it his literal mission to crack your serious facade

•So one day during science class he sat next to you and honestly you even forgot about that Jisung incident and that he even existed Rip lmfao

•That was till he spoke to you…

•“Hey why don’t you a smile a lot, you look nice when you smile.” he said that expecting you to feel at the least flustered by his sudden compliment considering not a lot of the girl’s he messed around with were confident with their smiles.

•But he got a completely different reaction.

•“Did I ask?”

•“Aish come on you don’t have to be so harsh.”

•“I’m not being harsh I’m just being honest.”

•Jisung didn’t quite understand why you didn’t like him but you unknowingly could see right though his fuckboi antics and was not about to be played like nuh uh honey

•But little did you know Jisung has two ways in handling girls, his cute and almost utterly perfect boyfriend way and the I’m going to make it seem like I don’t like you and attempt to make you fall for me

•He uses the first one more cause obviously the second one fails him 90% of the time

•Literally the next day, as if the Gods wanted this relationship to happen you’re paired up with Jisung for a world history project and you’re literally hating the world.

•You were expecting having to do all the work, or have Jisung try to swoon you with his greasy pick up lines or failed attempts at flirting

•But in all honesty you were surprised at how hands on he was during the project

•During lunch he sat next to you and discussed how the project could be split up amongst you two, asked about the topic and even wrote notes but not once did he try to flirt with you

•You honestly were starting to think he wasn’t going to be that bad.

•And he wasn’t, he genuinely was trying hard in this project but you still kept your guard up because once a fuckboi always a fuckboi

•Still not once did Jisung ever try to flirt with you because this was how his whole plan was supposed to be.

•One day he ask you to met him at a cafe for meeting for the project to see where the both of you were at in terms of progress.

•You took the offer because you felt like Jisung wasn’t going to try to make this into a date and seriously take this as a “meeting” for the project

•Once you arrived at the cafe it wasn’t hard to spot Jisung who was by the way typing away furiously at his laptop top occasionally taking quick breaks to look at what was writing in the textbook or drink from his coffee.

•“Hey mr. speedy how’s the progress going.”

•It was honestly the first time Jisung saw you being semi playful so he had to look up to make sure it was you

•“Great! I bought you a drink too. I wasn’t sure if you’d like it or not though.” somehow jisung magically knew what your favorite drink was, jk the snake of a fairy daehwi told him lolz because he’s totally in for that opposite attracts

•“Thanks.” You were getting ready to pay him back but he quickly shook his hand no saying it was on him since it was his idea to met up at the cafe.

•The working session turned out be a lot funnier because Jisung showed you more of his funny goofy side and you couldn’t help but smile and joke along with him

•Honestly at this point Jisung actually forgot about his mission of getting you to fall in love with him he was genuinely having fun with a girl

•Time goes by hella quick for the both of you and before you know it’s like 6 and it’s fall so it’s already getting dark so Jisung overs to walk you home

•You take the offer cause as much as you’d hate to admit it Jisung was actually starting to grow on you within those three hours

•One the way to your house it gets super cold so Jisung ends up offeri- no offering is more of an understatement more like offered you his jacket and just put it on you with waiting for a response.

•Both of you bid goodbye and the rest of the days leading up the presentation you guys go significantly closer

•You actually became more comfortable around Jisung to the point you smile a lot more with him

•the school is like what the hell is going on here…

•But no one cares what the school thinks because you lowkey are falling for Jisung and your hating yourself for it

•You thought about lessening your interactions with Jisung to stop the growing feeling but part of you didn’t wanna miss the moments you shared rip I know the feeling reader ㅠㅠ

•In the nearing the presentation day your grandma gets really sick so you slowly start to intentionally distance yourself from Jisung

•Does Jisung notice

•Nope

•Why because Jisung took you as the type to skip school lolz good for you Jisung

•Anyways the day of the presentation comes up and you don’t show up leaving Jisung to internally freakout

•Not because he’s worried for his grade lmfao he doesn’t even have to study to get grades (Jisung teach me your ways)

•He then concludes you think that he was just playing with you (don’t ask how his thoughts got there…) and starts blowing up your phone asking where you are and are you okay

•Cause obvious he’s not just gonna straight confess

•When it’s nearly his time to present he books it straight out of the classroom saying he doesn’t feel good

•In reality as soon as he tells the front desk he’s going home because he’s not feeling well he’s running straight to your house

•When he violently knocks at your door he starts getting more antsy with each passing second because he believes you won’t open the door for him

•When you do you’re literally pulled into a bone crushing hug

•And you’re like “wtf did i miss here?”

•Jisung is deadass about to confess when your grandma starts coughing up a storm

•He instantly connects the two dots and decides to just invite himself in

•“So…what are you doing here.” You were honestly just trying to break the awkward silence while comfortingly rubbing your grandmother’s back

•“I was worried cause you haven’t shown up at school in a while.” Honestly you’re shook because you think it’s absolutely adorable he was worried about you

•But at the same time you’re too busy worrying about your grandma to express it

•In the end Jisung ends up helping you take care of your grandma

•You honestly can’t help but have the look Jisung in admiration as he takes care of your grandma

•This didn’t go unnoticed by your grandma

•Wanna guess what your grandma said allowed without any shame

•“(Y/n) quickly get married to him so I can have great grandchildren.”

•YOU GO GRANDMA SAIL THAT SHIP

•You both turn into blushing little children

•Later in the night when your grandma is sleeping the both of you would be hanging out in your room when Jisung finally decided to grow a pair confess

•“(y/n) I have to tell you something.”

•“What”

•“I’m sorry for the way I acted when I originally met you but please forgive me…. I can now say that I truly have fallen for you and I hope you can accept my feelings”

•You honestly couldn’t hide the huge smile that was growing on your face but at the same time you were having an internal fight with you because you couldn’t tell if he just go better with his words

•He noticed how unsure you looked and was quick to reassure you by holding you close, his hands on your cheeks

•“I know the rep I had back then was bad I don’t blame you for not trusting me, but honestly (your full last name) I don’t think I’ve every found a girl that truly makes my heart pound everytime I see her.”

•Before you could even respond Jisung would kiss you deeply as if he was afraid you’d slip away from him if he didn’t take advantage of his moment

•Honestly he’d be too into his emotions he’ll start crying as soon as he’d pull away and only then you’d know he was being genuine

•“Yah why are you cry.” You’d say cheekily while patting his tears dry with his sleeves

•He’d be to choked up on his tears he couldn’t reply please protect this cutie at all cost

•“I love you pabo.”

•That made him cry even more and all you could was peck his forehead as he brought you closer resting his head on your chest

•And that’s how y'all beautiful people came to be.

The Fear Of Monsters. - karamel one shot

Ali loves her parents a lot.
When daddy tells her about the adventures he’s been through with mommy, she listens with dreaming eyes.
She wants to fight bad monsters and make everyone feel safe too: she’s only 6 years old but her dreams are big as her heart.
Ali though, has really bad nightmares about those bad monsters, but she doesn’t want to tell her parents; so Ali cries in silence, holding her favorite stuffed animal, the one that aunt Alex gave to her on her birthday, until she falls asleep.

But one night, Kara hears her sobs with her superpower, she immediately wakes Mon-El up and they rush to her side.
“What’s wrong, princess?” Mon-El gives her a kiss on the forehead and wipes away her tears.
“Go away! Go away!” The little girl sniffles, Kara has never seen her like this: Ali is always looking for cuddles, she couldn’t understand why she was sending them away.

“Why do you want us to go away? We’re not going anywhere until you tell us what’s wrong.” She caresses her daughter’s brown hair with one hand, and holds her little palm with the other.
Ali starts crying louder and the two parents surround her in a warm embrace, they know that as soon as she calms down, the truth would’ve come out.
Her sobbing eventually stopped, Mon-El put one hand on her back and kissed her head again.

“I see monsters in my dreams every night.”
“Ali, those monsters aren’t real, it’s just your imagination focusing on your bad thoughts.”
“Dad is right, and why didn’t you tell us? When did these nightmares begin?”
“I don’t..I don’t remember..” Then she scratched her head and squinted her comet eyes, like everytime she was deep in thought. “I remember now! The night when dad didn’t give me a goodnight kiss, when he was working!”

Two months earlier, Mon-El got badly injured in a fight, Kara thought he wasn’t going to make it but, thank Rao, he did: he stayed at the DEO that day, Kara was too upset to go home so Ali spent that day with Eliza.
“That was a long time ago! Why didn’t you tell us before?” Kara repeated, the worry in her voice grew.
“Because you two don’t cry when you see monsters: I want to be brave like you and be a hero!” Their daughter pouted at them, and her eyes were filled with tears again.
“But you are so brave, my love. You really are, way more than I was at your age.” Mon-El couldn’t stand seeing her little girl like this, hiding her fears because she wants to be good enough for her parents.
“Ali, listen to me, you are so strong and smart: being scared is okay, I’ve been scared so many times and so has dad. You can still be scared while being brave.”
Mon-El immediately looked up to his wife, remembering with a smile the moment Kara told him these exact words.

“So I can still be a hero?”
“You already are, princess.”
Ali finally showed her beautiful smile, clearly not feeling sad anymore. “Plus, not all monsters are bad! I’ve been friends with a lot of them, I’ve worked with them too. Somebody once called grandpa J'onn a bad monster, but is he?” Mon-El asked her.
Ali shook her head vehemently, “Exactly! So, next time you see a monster in your dream, why don’t you try to be nice to them and become their friend?”
Kara was fascinated by the complicity and understanding that the two loves of her life shared: from the first time that Ali held Mon-El’s thumb, they had undoubtedly the strongest bond she’d ever witnessed between a daughter and her father.

“I’ll try, daddy.”
“Great!” He kissed her cheek.
Kara intervened, “But no more hiding secrets, okay? Keeping things to yourself always ends up badly,” she smirked, “but now let’s go to sleep, it’s getting really late and we have school tomorrow, don’t we?”
“Yep!” Ali said excitedly, she loved going to school to learn new things, and she had many friends too. She rested her head on the pillow waiting for the second pair of goodnight kisses of the night.
“Sweet dreams, princess.”

___
A few days later
___
“Mom! Dad! Guess what?” Ali happily jumped her way to the kitchen table.
“What?” Kara replied, her mouth full with pancake bites.
“I saw not one, but two monsters in my dreams last night!”
“Really? What did you do?”
“I told them that I wanted to be their friends and I asked their names. And their angry faces disappeared! They smiled and they told me that their names were Ryan and Mary, they were twins!”
“That’s great, Ali!” Kara hugged her daughter and kissed her all over the face.
“I’m not afraid anymore!” Kara and Mon-El would’ve done anything to see her this happy everyday.
“Does this mean that someday I’ll fight monsters with you two?”
“Someday.” Mon-El winked. “But for now we need to focus on other things..like auntie’s birthday card! What do you wanna write?”

The three spent the Sunday morning drawing, writing and throwing a little too much glitter for Alex’s liking on the card: what a wonderful little girl they had created.


__________
this wasn’t supposed to be a one shot but heeeey here it is! obviously their daughter is called ali after alura, which i borrowed from @teacactus and @supervalor
i hope you enjoyed this❤❤

So I went re-watching Mr & Mrs Smith movie for someone asked me about the film AU. And HOLY SHIIIIT!! Yes It’s really like that I just internally screamed so many many times “this is fucking ZoSan! Holy Shit!! ASDSFGFDTERTWER^%&%^*%%^#%$”

It’s… well not the first time I watch this movie but at least the last time I watched it had been 8 or 9 years ago. I swear the young me at that time couldn’t feel this movie like how I feel now. Of course I can remember the plot and understand why there were pretty amount of ZoSan artworks in Mr&Mrs Smith AU (there was even an animated art video clip) . But watching it, for real, not kind of half-mind remember, when I knew about ZoSan feeling, when I have them so hard in me now, then the movie, and Brad Pitt!!! Damn it!! BRAD PITT!! (Sorry I have to say that I wanted to punch auspizien in the face for making me in painful happiness everytime seeing Brad Pitt goes around and thinking him as Zoro.)

*cry and roll on the floor*

*I don’t want to die in this feeling*

*I’m gonna draw something to save my own life*

mc’s reset theory

this is intended to be just a little taste of how i write, but nevertheless, v, unknown and rika are not included in this but i will do them if asked to continue this ^^

(this was based off a prompt i had in the works for a while, probably around the time the reset theory came around, for those who were curious, it is focused around mc’s feelings and her/him/them being the only one with all the memories of all the routes, basically it’s the seven theory excluding the seven part)




Yoosung

  • i think it would be hard to just look the poor guy in the eyes
  • you’d just get reminded of the way he used to look at you with those lovestruck puppy eyes ohmyofd
  • his heart would probably hurt whenever he sees you and he wouldn’t know why
  • “?? did i overdo the chips? my cholesterol??”
  • thinks he’s sick or something
  • poor kid
  • i feel like he’d be the person who’d be like “i feel like something or someone is missing” probably rika oh

Zen

  • oh great
  • it would be so goddamn hard not to fall in love all over again
  • stOP FLIRTING WITH ME MY HEART HURTS
  • honestly you tear up everytime he calls you a petname
  • “hey babe– oh?? wha–”
  • “zen made her cry again!! get him!!!” lmao that’s seven
  • this is making me sad
  • anyways
  • despite all this he feels strangely attracted to you
  • you continuously shrug him off and even fall in love with another but he still cannot get over this nostalgic feeling
  • yo what if the dream he had when he said he saw you in on day 1 was just a fragment of his memory that didn’t get totally erased ohmy

Jaehee

  • ok i might really cry
  • poor baby oh no
  • of course you’d still be good friends but
  • something is missing??
  • when she first sees you she cannot help but already feel familiar and comfortable around you
  • like ?? but i haven’t seen this woman before in my life ???
  • you can’t bear being in coffee shops anymore
  • just the smell of coffee & steam of biscuits remind you of her can you hear me crying
  • cue crying to the afternoon dramas you two used to watch together

Jumin

  • honestly i see him dismissing the weird feeling in his chest
  • when you two met in real life for the first time his heart ached
  • “something must be wrong with me.. this feeling of deja vu???”
  • a really sad man
  • needs constant comfort from elizabeth
  • he’s never felt so lonely and miserable in his whole life before
  • honestly would react like yoosung and get help from a doctor
  • “my heart has been acting up, is something the matter with me, doctor?”
  • yeah boy you’re lovesick

Seven

  • yep this is where i legit start crying
  • this poor poor poor man
  • he gets so confused when you get emotional
  • seeing him acting like 707 breaks your heart
  • you know how much pain he’s going through but you cannot reach out to him as it is the game’s rules
  • fuCK YOU GAME I WOULD GLADLY DO HIS ROUTES A MILLLION TIMES OVER
  • when he calls you for the first time you start crying
  • he tears up too
  • he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him as he usually keeps his feelings under check
  • “let’s get married at the space station”
  • [screaming]

this is a psa that the official typing for bts is making me cry because do they even know mbti

i’m sorry but yoongi gave 0.5 out of 5 for his MBTI typing because it doesn’t fit. and i don’t know who did the typing but they probably don’t know shit about cognitive function because that Ni and Te in yoongi are so obvious like?????? he said when he cannot sleep he thinks too much about the future (high Ni). he clearly has high ideals and that intense drive (Ni-Te). He wears himself down working (high Te-Low Se) to achieve his ideal work (Ni). Also the fact that he pursued his dream with that much passion and strength (Ni-Te-Fi).

INTJ EVERYONE WAKE UP

they got tae, jimin, namjoon, and hobi accurate (all of them gave a high star). i can write a long ass essay about how tae is the most ENFP person i have ever seen (stopping to blow a flower when he got lost in a foreign country ajdbaksnaksn this boy), how jimin Fe-Ni as an ENFJ is so overwhelming i worry about him (too much expectation he puts on himself to achieve all the ideal society gives to him), how Hobi is such a nice and good ideal ESFJ i cry how is he real (his song Mama is an ESFJ anthem i dont make the rules), and i will only consider the possibilities of namjoon not being an INFP if he stops making bond with random lizard or stop injuring himself (that trickster Se istg).

i’m still not sure on jin (he shows stronger Ne-Fe loop than Ti-Si. i’m leaning on an introverted ENTP) also!!!!! fun fact jung original theory implies that ENTP is the more introverted extrovert, since its aux is Ti (according to Jung, the quietest fx) and Ne tends to space a lot instead of yolo-ing.

but jungkook is such a high Se user poster boy there is no way in hell he is a Ne user which Ne user would have that much single mindedness yolo. he is either ISFP or ISTP, but i’m leaning so hard towards ISFP. think of it like this, most quiet main character that is surprisingly good at everything (see: harry potter) is usually ISFP.

TLDR THAT OFFICIAL TYPING IS MAKING ME CRY please learn mbti it’s not the zodiac even tho some psychologist debates on its legitimacy it still has some weigh and psychology background in it. there is a reason why it is so widely used. my lecturer still uses it as a tool for new students.

source: i’m a psychology student who is still learning lmao

Matt Healy imagine: From bestfriend to boyfriend

*Warning: Selfharm, depression and anxiety*

“A little bit of salt. How much is a little bit of salt anyway?” you say frowning while reading the recipe from your new cooking book. “Ugh, I give up” You sigh as you close the book and starts to clear up the ingridients on the table. All you ever wanted was to take your mind off negative things and to kill time since your boyfriend was taking ages to reply and yet he says he was doing “nothing”. You heard shuffling outside your apartment door and a huge smile spread across your face.

“Hello there, love. Missed me?” Matty asks posing at your door frame. He lived next door to yours and that’s how you guys became so close. He was your only bestfriend after all your female bestriends stabbed you in the back. “Not as much as you think, Healy” You say standing infront of him with folded arms. “I’ll take that as a yes though. Wanna have lunch together? You have to cook though” He says poking your nose and going back to dragging his stuff into his room.

You got back into your cooking again. You sigh as you check your phone to see nothing from your boyfriend. A tear rolled down your cheeks but you wiped it off and started to cook.

“Is that pasta I smell” Matty asks as he pokes his head into the kitchen. You just nodded. He helps you prepare the table. Just boyfriend material, you thought. “So how was tour” You ask before taking a mouthful of pasta. “It was good. I had to carry a lot of emotional baggage back home” He chukles at the end.

After lunch he left to take a nap and you were left alone in your apartment again. You were getting really worried about your boyfriend. You called several times until he texted asking you why you were calling him so much. You started to tear up but tried to be strong. After some texts he showed up at your door.

“Gosh Y/N. Why are you so annoying? I was just out with my friends. Will you please stop being like this” He says starting to get angry. “You could have just told me. It’s not fair when you tell me to tell you where I go and stuff and you just leave me hanging. You know how that makes me feel like. It makes me worried. I care about you a lot. Why do you always leave me hanging?” You say with tears falling down your cheeks. “I just can’t take your all of this depression and anxiety stuff you go through. It’s just so much. You say you will change but I never see it changing at all. I’m just so done with all this. Bye” He says slamming the door.

You burst out crying. You hate having all your emotions and feelings attached to just one person who doesn’t care much as you do. You walked to your kitchen cabinets and took a small knife. You felt hopeless and cutting your was the only way to calm yourself and leave the pain. Matty had your sleeping pills since he knew you might do something bad. You took a deep breath as you let the knife slide down your skin. You closed your eyes slowly as you tried to sit on the floor. Faint screams of your name was been called but you didn’t care.

You woke up to somebody hugging your fragile body whispering sweet nothings in your ear as he knew you were awake. “Y/N” He says. It was not your boyfriend’s voice. You slowly opened your eyes to see Matty with a very worried look on his face. His eyes were puffy and red either from crying ot lack of sleep, it was hard to tell with your blurry vision. “Matty?” You say trying to make sure if it was him. “Sshh.. Y/N its okay. I’m here. Everything will be fine. He is really not the right guy for you. He don’t understand you, Y/N. You tell me how you feel about him but why are you still with him when you are getting hurt everytime” Matty says hugging you tighter. “I don’t know what to do. I hate when my feelings are so attached to him. I hate caring too much. I hate everything so much. I hate myself so much. I just hate this. I’m just ruining everyone’s lives. You should go before I hurt you” You say sobbing and trying to get out of his hug. You tried but you didn’t have that energy anymore. Your hand hurts eventhough it was bandaged tightly. “You just need someone that will care about you. Someone that will take good care of you. Someone that understands you” He says caressing your head. “Who will ever want anyone so depressed. Who has git bad anxiety. Everyone thinks I’m insane. Nobody will ever want to be with someone like me. Who will ever want me anyway?” You say wiping away your tears and blowing your nose. “Maybe the one right infront of you will” Matty says looking right into your eyes and smiling. “No, Matty. I can’t let myself be a burdon on you. I’m too much to everyone already” “Ssshh.. You are talking too much. Just give me a chance and I’ll prove you wrong. I’ll make your boyfriend, well, ex boyfriend jealous of your new boyfriend” He says smiling at you. “But-” “No buts Y/N. I mean it. You are my girlfriend now. I know you like me. I saw everything on your tumblr blog. I love you, don’t you mind?” He whispers the last part smirking. You just burried your head in his chest from embarassment as he chuckles. “So am I your boyfriend now?” You just give him a nod earning a tight hug from him.

Things after that went very well. He made you a tour buddy and took you on tours and your anxiety was getting better. You were happy again.

Originally posted by ugh-fuckoff

anonymous asked:

hello. this is just my opinion, but i dont think you should edit these pictures particularly those from non-editable fansites. and tbh its their picture they have every right to do whatever they want with it. and i think its kind of rude of you to call them stalkers. personally i think more so than some other fans, they know their boundaries with the boys the most. and i also dont think it is right for you to say how they feel, the way you're saying they're promoting racism and all -c-

https://www.soompi.com/2016/07/27/bts-tells-star1-interview-photo-shoot/-c- because you dont know them personally. so i think it’s not right for you to say things like that about them. you’re basically judging people whom you’ve never met. but anyways thank you for reading these. have a nice day.


I want to warn you first that this is a long read. If you have no intentions to understanding why we are editing pictures, I suggest you stop right here.

I’m going to break down your ask into separate topics and address the issues in each one.

Okay you made it this far, so let’s take a journey to educate ourselves shall we?


this is just my opinion, but i dont think you should edit these pictures particularly those from non-editable fansites. and tbh its their picture they have every right to do whatever they want with it

Let’s start at the beginning, white washing and light skin beauty ideals have had a long and intensive history in many cultures. But for the sake of time I’m going to center around Eastern Asia/South Eastern Asia and the effects. 

It’s the idea that light skinned people are better than others.

Not to be confused with “wanting to be white/looking like white people”. Because the goal in a colorist society is to look “brighter” and “paler” enough to be the color white. Not white people.

Mostly light skinned people are considered more well mannered, civilized, clean, educated, but mostly intelligent and beautiful. So much in fact that light skinned people are worshipped and if anybody wishes to be treated with respect than they should work to look like pale people.

Now we all know that this sounds ridiculous right?

Well, unfortunately this ideal is so widely accepted that it became a part of 3,000 years worth of cultural East and Southeast Asian history and continues to rear its ugly head today. So much that it became an economic industry that continues promoting this ugly beauty ideal. ie. Skin Whitening Products and Commercialized Whitewashing.

This prejudice or discrimination against individuals with a dark skin tone, typically among people of the same ethnic or racial group is called colorism or shadeism. (Which are real terms that you can look up on google! Amazing.) And those that promote these ideals are called colorists or shadeists. Which is what I’m calling these fansites.

Why do we edit their pictures? Simply put it’s to bring back Bangtan’s skin color to their original form. To show that, no, they DO NOT have to have their skin color changed to be considered beautiful. That they do not have to change who they are or what they look to be worthy of all of the fans love. And if we don’t STOP them and let them know that this behavior is incredibly offensive than they are just going to continue. 

If you say that they have “every right to do whatever they want” you are condoning this.

OH LOOK! The same fansite!! Same day! Same event! But one is a preview and the other is a whitewashed nightmare.

Obviously these fansites love these boys, but they apparently don’t love them enough to accept that YES, some of them do have tan skin. YES, some of them are even considered dark. And YES, they are still the beautiful and handsome boys that we have come to know with their real skin tone.

They even go to the extent of whitewashing the palest member of Bangtan. Min Yoongi aka SUGA. Like literally his name is to show how pale he is COMPARED to the members (he is not the palest being in the universe mind you) and yet they whitewash him. Why? I have no clue at this point, they have lost all reason.

Same Yoongi fansite, same day, same event. And yet a world of differences.

Wow, yes they have “a right to do this”. But that doesn’t mean their actions don’t have consequences.

Their CONSTANT whitewashing leads many fans to believe that they all look like their whitewashed pictures. When they don’t. The problem is that, this goes so unnoticed by fans that they start perceiving the whitewashed version as the real deal, and then get surprised when they see a photo or video of an idol with their natural skintone.

Now what I am about to say is the real kicker, most if not all kpop idols are already using WHITENING MAKEUP.  SURPRISE!!

Some idols/celebrities/average people have even thought it necessary that they should entirely get rid of their natural skin tone with WHITENING PRODUCTS because of their insecurities and the bullying.

Now the question lies, why are these fansites whitewashing them EVEN MORE when they are already wearing things that make them look paler?


and i think its kind of rude of you to call them stalkers. personally i think more so than some other fans, they know their boundaries with the boys the most.


Listen, fansites are people. They are not deities clear of sin and representative of the highest virtues.

Here is the process to be a fansite.

1. Be a fan (JUST LIKE YOU OR ME)

2. Make a fansite (Putting it on some form of social media. Example: twitter)

3. Buy a DSLR Camera (a really expensive camera with giant lenses)

4. Have 100% full attendance. (follow the same schedule as the boys.)

5. Take pictures, edit, and upload. And if you got time, sell your finished photos.

It’s really that easy, give or take you have to sacrifice your soul to the devil to own one of those cameras. There is no clear indication on whether these fansites are sasaengs, who have every as much as ability to become a fansite as other rich fans.

Here is an example of a sasaeng fansite here that was for previous EXO member Wu Yifan aka Kris.

https://twitter.com/krisma0704

Where they even went to the extent to book an airplane ticket next to them to take pictures as they were sleeping.

Not many sasaengs of BTS are fansites luckily, but BTS sasaengs DO exist. And already have caused an annoyance to fans and BTS. The chances of sasaengs becoming fansites increases as popularity increases. So lets not start putting fansites on a pedestal this early in the fandom, okay?

But seriously, even average fansites go the extent to going to different countries, even outside of Asia to take pictures of the boys. All for what? To whitewash them? It is literally going over the boundaries of idols, or in this case BTS’,  skin color.

Why do these fansites think that it is appropriate to choose what skin color looks good on these idols enough to completely bleach them out of existance. Especially when there is already BULLYING within idol groups based on dark skin color. Heck, there was even multiple occasions within Bangtan themselves where they made fun of the darker members skin color!

But apparently it’s cool for fansites to continue whitewashing when people get bullied enough? Now fansites have some “god given mission” that they gotta prove that idols LOOK BETTER WITH PALER SKIN? And even the leader, Namjoon has stated in his songs that he likes his dark skin? Why take what they love about themselves away?

Infact, why do these fansites have the NERVE to take away the skin color that some of them don’t even have the confidence of loving themselves yet?

Here is a link to BTS’ Picture Diary and the Translations. It has Jimin’s, Jin’s and Taehyung’s Diary Entry.

http://instidy.com/bangtan_gps/p/1066561790290297849_1579849223

What leaves me heartbroken the most is reading Taehyung’s.

3. V Kota Kinabalu2 / We went to the island. A.R.M.Y will be surprised to see me in Korea since I got tanned. I’m quite dark. I hope they don’t make fun of me. I got on the banana boat and the parachute, had a shooting at home, and swam for 10 minutes. There could’ve been more. The end. Today’s lesson: Let’s learn how to float in the water. Today’s compliments/regrets: I tried not to get tanned./But I did.

****EDIT**** Another update where Taehyung, once again apologizes for his skin color in  @star1 Interview And Photo Shoot.

https://www.soompi.com/2016/07/27/bts-tells-star1-interview-photo-shoot/

V: “I am thankful for and proud of our members who sleep less and work hard in order to improve themselves. I am always thankful for ARMY. I hope you can understand me having tan skin due to drama filming in the scorching sun.”

Why is he so afraid of tanning? Why is he so afraid of the ARMY making fun of him that he has to mention the fans more than once? Why is he afraid of the ARMY making fun of him so much that he considers his skin color a regretful lesson? Why is he so anxious that he has to write his insecurities about his tan skin in the first place and asks them to understand that his situation? Why is he so afraid of SPECIFICALLY the ARMY in Korea: the fans that apparently see Taehyung the most, interact with the most, and according to you “know his boundaries” more than other fans?

WHY are fansites hurting the ones they supposedly love the most in this way?

God, everytime I read this it always makes me fucking cry. Cause his insecurity over his skin color is something that a LOT of East Asian/Southeast Asians can empathize with. Because this not only affects idols, this affects ALL East/Southeast Asian kids.

The reason restoring blogs exist because OTHER EAST/SOUTHEAST ASIANS are sick of having people OF THEIR OWN RACE AND ETHNIC PEOPLE BE ERASED OF THEIR NATURAL SKIN COLOR. Which will then in turn perpetuate colorism.

You heard it here folks!

This restoring movement is conducted by a network of East/Southeast Asians, the same race and ethnic background as YOUR favorite kpop star. Hell I even know some Koreans that are restoring idols.

So stop thinking that restore blogs exist solely to feel superior to faneditors. The goal is to make people more aware of what these fansites are doing and what could be harming the idols and fans of color.

Infact, I can tell you that some fansites were actually EDITABLE in the past. Some fansites were okay with editing. Like “average editing” for photosets, or videos, or ridiculous “pastel edits” (some which kill their skin color even more.)

But as soon as restoring blogs came into the picture, whether restoring blogs gave credit or not, they were furious. 

Most fansites make money off their pictures. Not only that, but they make a profit. The fansites “giving us” their pictures is not a “privilege”, they are literally selling a product/brand. If people want to criticize the product and voice their thoughts about it they are well within their rights. 

and i also dont think it is right for you to say how they feel, the way you’re saying they’re promoting racism and all because you dont know them personally. so i think it’s not right for you to say things like that about them. you’re basically judging people whom you’ve never met.

As we all know by now, I’m calling them colorists, as the fansites usually are within the same racial and ethnic group as most kpop idols. (Of course I said most because, as we should all know by now that not ALL kpop idols are Korean and some Korean celebrities are of mixed race as well. And hell not even all fansites are Korean.)

But colorism can lead to racist behavior. (Which will one day be saved for a different day.)

And also, nobody has to know someone PERSONALLY to know that someone is racist or is conducting racist behavior.

Like, I don’t know these students in this Philadelphia school play personally, but yellowfacing is racist even if you claim it as “your art” and “your hardwork”.

http://blog.angryasianman.com/2015/12/philadelphia-school-cancels-play-after.html

No they are not, out blatantly saying “I hate East Asians,” but you do not need much to know that their actions are OFFENSIVE.

Similar to these fansites, they are not publicly saying “I hate their skin color,” but you can definitely know that fansites consciously took the TIME and EFFORT to edit idols skin to feed their offensive beauty ideals when its just easier to post their HD photos. 

Which makes them colorist.

And what boggles my mind the most. Why are you more angry at the fact that we are calling them offensive and colorist instead of understanding that their behavior does more harm to generations of East/Southeast Asians?

Why do you care more about getting whitewashed HD pics instead of respecting the idols and treating them like real people?

But I guess to you,

art is pain.

-Admin Matte

-

Besides all that was said above, I just want to mention that, besides restoring blogs, there is unwhitewashed content. Such as broadcasting pictures, livestreaming videos from events, some of the selfies the members upload on social medias, even official content from the companies, and not to mention unwhitewashed previews from the fansites just as Admin Matte pointed out.

 All this content is up alongside the whitewashed ones. Everyone sees it and likes/reblogs it. They’re posted on the dedicated blogs too. So my question is, how do people not notice how extremely different they can be? The differences go far beyond the point where you could say it’s due to lighting, camera flash, distance, or just whitening makeup. Why does no one question these differences? 

- Admin Gloss

"Let Pinky Drive You Crazy For Another Day, Jay!"

ok guys it’s time to tell my story.

I decided to put the banner up during the performance of ‘TKO’ but my friend suggested that we should put it up when he starts talking to the audience and that’s the only way we can get a reaction from him. So he was talking to the audience after TKO and turned his back on the crowd and WE PUT THE FREAKING BANNER UP. His two backing vocalists saw it first and started laughing and pointing to it. (They probably don’t know what “Pinky” means but they know the lyrics and what the song is about so they must have figured it out) And Justin saw their reactions and turned around and the first thing he saw was the banner. gksnfdgkadzgfadgvdangdf

He saw it while he was talking and stopped talking while he was reading it. He looked at the banner for like five seconds and his eyes got bigger but there was literally nothing on his face. Then he started walking to the left side of the stage and was talking, kind of laughing for like another five seconds and then he looked at my banner again. I assume that after his brain processed what he just read and he probably asked himself a million questions (because he doesn’t know me or my love for them so he must have questioned my intention for doing that). He never gave us a smile though, it was like he saw the banner, read it, quickly turned his head to the other side and laughed - and when he came up right in front of me again, he looked at the banner for the third time. 

Here are some of the pics I took. (so that you get an idea about how close he was to the banner)

It was kind of awkward tbh and my friend and I started to feel a little bit weird. He literally read it, looked around and read it again and it was like, he was just so surprised by what he just read and a million thoughts were crossing his mind. I felt horrible thinking that he might have felt upset or something. I sort of struggled with all these thoughts until the weirdest thing/most amazing thing happened.

After he started singing “Cry Me A River” and the moment he was on the chorus, HE STARTED TO LOOK AT ME AND MY FRIEND GUYS DGANGFANGZGNDGAGGL. That happened twice or three times during CMAR but —-

I wish I could just find a video of “WGACA” that was taken from my view. This song is literally the only song that can make me cry everytime I listen to it and I was tearing up. That’s why I FOLDED THE BANNER and the only thing he could see was “pinky” and I put it on my face.

OH MY GOD

So after like 45 seconds, I pulled the 'pinky’ off my face and JUSTIN WAS LOOKING AT THE “PINKY” AND ME. I wasn’t sure of whether or not he was really looking at me tbh but those girls who were standing next to me were like, “what does the banner say? is he looking at it????” OH MY GOD OH YM GOD DFHGKFG FSHSKGAGMADG that actually proves that I am not delusional right? He kept looking at me and my friend who also helped me make and put it up and most likely, the pinky writing  over and over again during “wgaca” and I felt all of my doubts went away because I think the banner made him realize 'the justney fans’ in his crowd. Now that I look back, the fact that he actually didn’t forget about the banner during all those other songs between TKO and Cry Me A River and waited for his most 'Britney’ songs on the setlist, to have eye contact with us means the world to me.

anonymous asked:

Do you like finnreylo?

A. Heck yes
B. Heck yes
C. Heck yes
D. Heck yes

Btw someone said that they imagine ot3 wearing get along shirt so here’s the bonus for ya anon:

{btw, a more serious answer under the cut ‘cause i ramble a lot like have you seen me rambling about why chara’s not evil it’s that long and very unorganized kay here i go}

Keep reading

JUST HEAR ME OUT OKAY

Originally posted by nalukima

PLEASE TELLL ME IM NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT THINKS LAXUS FACE HERE LOOKS KINDA LIKE A CAT. LIKE CANT YOU SEE IT I DO AND I DONT KNOW WHY NOW IM JUST PICTURING LAXUS AS A KITTY.

Originally posted by raiijinshuu

also here when he cracks his neck to the side it kinda makes a cat face as well!!!!

shocking discoveries brought to you buy yours turely.

Originally posted by wxste-of-time-x

“were does Laxus begin and grumpy cat end”

*x-files theme is heard in the distance*

~Jessica

First I love you *Cameron Dallas*

“Don’t fucking touch me” you mumble getting out of the grip of Cameron Dallas, of course you and Cam are dating and you couldn’t be more happy but lately you haven’t been you been yourself and you don’t know why. Its bothering you that you wanted to spend every second with Cameron, its bothering you that your heart is constantly fluttering when your with him. Its bothering you that your mind is always thinking about him. You have bad commitment problems and trust issues but Cameron promised you that you wouldn’t regret it. Anyway Cameron said he needs some space for a minute. So you walked out the room, you knew Cameron was under pressure because he had to do a video two days ago but hasn’t finished editing it yet but really you were just talking to your best friend. And Cameron wasn’t really nice when he said ‘Can you get out if you’re going to talk I need some space!’ you just walked out of the room soon you hung up with your best friend. You were going to leave to clear your mind, you didn’t live with him but you were there like every single day. You opened the door when you felt hands on wrist pulling you back in slamming the door shut pushing you back on it.

“Y/N baby, I’m sorry don’t leave.” Cameron whined. Cameron did piss you off and your mind isn’t right.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” You mumbled, getting out of his grip, you could tell he was hurt inside when you said that but he could tell you were hurt too.

“sweetheart what’s wrong?” He asked you took a deep breath and splatted out a simple shaky nothing.

“Y/N come on just tell me.” His faced drop from hurt to serious.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Everytime I see you my heart just flutters you make me so happy then I want to spend every hour, minute, and second with you, you are seriously the only thing I think about. And its clear to me you don’t feel the same.” You started to cry a little “Cameron, I’m scared” You cried a little harder “I-I-I think I love you” You said terrified.

“Y/n are you kidding me! You are all I think about that’s why I didn’t get my video done in time. And when you were in my room I didn’t mind you talking I love your voice and I just wanted to come up and cuddle you that’s why I told you to leave. It was bothering me that I wanted to spend every second with you. But now I don’t care, because I love you. And I’m not scared to say that, I will tell anyone I don’t care Y/N I will tell you everyday every second if you don’t believe me! I love you so much!” Cameron said hugging you then kissing passionately you kissed still scared though

“Y/N don’t worry okay, I love you and I’m not letting you go anywhere I promise I won’t hurt you at all.” He kissed your nose than forehead.

“I love you Cameron” You said smiling his thumbs wiped away tears he smiled and kissed you again.

***I said I love you waaaay to much***


Request something for O2L please c:

youtube

sam & mercedes || i won’t stop till it’s trending (WATCH IN HD) 

Please don’t judge me. I have no idea why I did this and I know it’s not that good - I’m not good with funny videos in general. I just thought it would be a nice way to cheer you all, I also wanted to show THE AMAZING comedic side of Samcedes. Those two just crack me up everytime (as well as make me cry until I’m dead - the power of Samcedes). I wish we could see more of it - HOPEFULLY IN THE FUTURE :)

Dear L,

Yesterday I decided to check your facebook again. Nothing new but even if there was, only people that has add you can see it so I went to check your bf’s facebook and… He uploaded a photo of you and then… I cried. It’s been 10 years since last time I saw you, I hug you. It’s been 7 years since last time I saw a photo of you. So many years that I tried to forget, I tried to believe you didn’t exist and, babe? You are still the same. Same clothes style, same face, same messy wavy hair. And you still do the ponytail every time you can. id even years passed you by? 

You seem sad. I see the photo, I see your eyes and I know you are sad, I can see the problems. Weird how after so many years I still know you. Weird how I tried to “delete” you from my life like you did but I still know you. Yesterday I almost send you a friend request. Almost because I know I would wait weeks after weeks and you would never accept it. I almost send you a message asking what’s wrong and then I remember you would never reply. Im scare to make a move, I’m scare that you will block me on facebook and then I would lost the only way I seem to have to still check how you are.

Does this makes me a stalker? Because I don’t stalk people, you know? And its been 1 month since I searched for you on facebook. But I did it yesterday and I did twice today. Now comes the battle to “forget” for few more weeks.

My bf asked me “why do you still try to see her on facebook if you know it will make you sad? that you will cry?”. How can I explain people that, everytime I cry because you ignore me I also feel happy because I know you are right there. I still have this hope we will meet again someday. I still have this feeling that we will talk. I don’t think we will ever be best friends again but at least we will talk.

I wanted to talk about you to Vera. She asked me who was the girl that used to be my best friend and was hurting me but before I tell her the story I found out that your bf is her cousin. I mean, how can life be like this? Your bf and my new best friend are cousins. So yeah. I asked her if she knew you and she said yes. I asked her how do you look and her thoughts about you.. hum, she said you are pretty and very nice but maybe shy? I don’t remember you being shy. She asked me if I know you and I said no. She said she only talked to you once and let me tell you, You would love her. Vera is such a nice girl. 

Idk the reason to be bothering my followers with this post but I need somewhere to write this. I can’t send it to you and I don’t want anyone in my life to read it so I guess this was the best choice.

I hope you are ok right now.

Lots of love,
Sofia

Ps. I saw the post about doing a trip with your bf. I hope one day you can do it.
ps2. I didn’t tell Vera about you, sorry.
ps3. I’m crying again while I’m writing this.
ps4. do you ever try to stalk me on facebook? I still hope the answer is yes.