and why do i think this is so funny

anonymous asked:

yeah, but like.. phil used to post on dailybooth so much and his pics were so pretty and dare i say aesthetic?? they were hella pleasing and even dan was drooling all over them. i wonder what made him change so much. ever since dan became so much more popular than him he kind of let dan overshadow him in every way, it's so visible in their joint selfies, liveshows, etc. you could say he grew up and stopped caring, but he's still a youtuber and all youtubers ultimately want attention, so idk

I think phil just let’s dan do whatever. of course he wants attention. but this isn’t the dailybooth time area anymore although it was good. I just honestly think he doesn’t care because he’s not seeking anything from it. dans young and pretty that’s why phil gets overshadowed if someone *cough dan* helped him out with his style on his insta then they would be even in aesthetics. (its just funny because phil used to give dan tips on dailybooth and :(] frankly,im just lowering my expectations Phil’s never going to do a fuck boy selfie until the day I die and I’m infuriated because dan just has to sit on a chair and everyone screams. so *shrugs*

dear r,

it has been five months since i’ve seen you and even so my heart skips a beat every time i think of you. no, it’s not appropriate. you’re my cousin’s best friend and ten years older than me, and practically my teacher in the way we interacted. 

but i can’t help it and i’m sorry but goddamnit, why do you have to look at me like that, like you can see right through my bullshit, my sarcasm and quietness and stubborn refusal to be nice to people? why do you have to laugh at my jokes that no one else finds funny? why do you have to think like me, challenge me intellectually and teach me new things without ever being condescending? surely you know what that means to me. surely you know how much i’m in awe of your kindness and humour, your twinkling eye and how you have a smile for everyone, how you compliment my intelligence and show me how much i still have to learn all in one sentence.

i daydream about it sometimes, you know. fast forward four, maybe five years, when i’m not just another seventeen year old anymore, and i’ll come back from college and stand outside your work in the pouring rain and you’ll come outside and ask me what the hell i think i’m doing, trying to catch my death of cold out there. and you’ll drag me in and make me drink green tea (because you know i can’t bear coffee) and then one thing will lead to another and you will love me back.

like magic.

it’s not happening. for all i now you’ll be married by then. for all i know, the age gap is too much. for all i know, i may never come back. because you can see that too, can’t you? you can see that now that i’m off my leash, i’m never coming back unless i can help it. 

but i would do it for you. you just need to give me the word and i’ll fly right back for you.

i wish i could grab your shoulders and shake you silly till you understand, but i can’t because now it’s too late and i’m all the way on the other side of the world and i’m not coming back.

good lord, the things you do to my brain.

can i forget you and just get on with things?

“i’m trying.” will you laugh this time too?

love,

b.

Unpopular Voltron opinion, with meta to back it up.

I don’t think the big Keith and Lance scene in episode 6 was meant to be seen as having gone well, or for things to be getting back on track in regards to Lance’s doubts. I’m actually pretty sure the conversation unintentionally made things with Lance even worse.

Just because Keith and Lance shared a scene alone together, without any fighting or outward disagreements, does NOT mean it went well. I know everyone who is a Klance shipper wants that to be the case, but the whole “5 feet apart” jokes and logic with their ship shouldn’t suddenly change the emotional tone that is ACTUALLY present here.

Do not get me wrong, it is clear that both of them wanted this talk to go well without any confrontation, and to talk with a level head and with honesty. They have both grown as people to realize this. It doesn’t mean there wasn’t a major miscommunication here. 

Lets go through this moment by moment, shall we?

Keep reading

  • Alfor: (to the royal artist) hey uh can u draw an official portrait of my robot OC his name is voltron
  • Artist: sorry i don't do commissions of furries/anthros or mecha :/

I have a really dumb headcanon (or AU?) where the Final Pam was like…. an inside joke between Lup and Taako that they developed sometime in their teens and Lup and Taako constantly do “Final Pam” impersonations at each other and they think it’s the funniest fucking thing but no one else has any fuckign idea why these two are talking in this strong accent and saying dumb things at each other

like

(after recking shit in a particularly blood-thirsty and cruel cycle)
Lup: I DO THIS
Lup, admiring the wreckage: You remember how your go your backyard barbecue, the Smiths
Lup: PRETTY GOOD IT DOESN’T SEEM
Lup: I TELL LITTLE JOKE
Taako: NEXT TIME YOU INVITE PAM

Lup, goofing around with a deactivated robot: Hello metal husband
Lup: Do not tell Trash Hulk about our-
Barry, completely oblivious: Hey guys, what’s up? :)
Taako: (ABSOLUTELY FUCKING LOSES IT)

Lup to Barry at any given moment: Stay safe honey. Many robo kisses in future Yes
Barry, crying: Please I don’t understand

Angus: Hey Magnus, I’m feeling a bit hungry
Taako from the other room: BABY NEED SNACK

this is really dumb but this is really funny to me and i stand by it

bonus:

Lup: Shit, has anyone seen Davenport anywhere?
Taako: Nobody move! I’ve lost both a contact lens and our captain 

i talked to him on a wednesday. he sighed on my bed. i was skyping my sister, who was trying to teach me how to knit. i told him i needed to go to bed early, i had a test in the morning. he said he had things to discuss and i’m a patient person so i listened.

this is, i learn, how our “friendship” works. hours of my life become his sanctuary. he texts me constantly. his problems fill up every space in my planner. often he demands my attention rather than asking. i feel bad, because i’m the type to feel bad, so i listen. i offer advice that goes ignored, i sit in contemplative silence even though i should be studying, i nod my head and support him. 

he doesn’t notice i start drinking wine as soon as he shows up. a few times i make the mistake of trying to bring my own problems up. they are always overshadowed by his own, or else i am given an odd supply of uncomfortable comments. “i don’t feel good lately” is met with “a girl as pretty as you isn’t supposed to feel sad.” i say “i don’t like my writing recently” and he spends forty seconds saying i’m beautiful and intelligent and a perfect girlfriend before saying “unlike me, i’m awful” and before i know it, i’m comforting him again. we don’t have real conversations. once, as an experiment, i spend two hours completely silent, just to see if he’ll notice. he doesn’t. 

once he bursts into my room while i’m scheduling my week. he’s taken aback by how much i’m doing. “you look so busy!” he says, “where’s all the time you’re planning on spending with me?” he doesn’t ask about any of my other activities. he knows nothing about my life except that i’m good at listening. i feel myself under a rolling pin. he flattens me out to use me. he punishes me if i don’t give him attention - all i hear is how he is useless without me, how he’s barely holding on, how he doesn’t know what he’d do if one day i was gone. he doesn’t know my middle name. he misses my birthday.

it’s wednesday again. i’ve been drinking. he took some of my wine without asking. he lounges on my couch with his arm casually around me. my actual friends know i don’t like touching. i asked him to move but he just laughed and said “you’re so funny.” he’s too heavy for me to move physically so i just let him lay there, complaining. i stare into space, thinking about the news i got that day. about how my life has changed.

he looks up to me. “can i ask you a personal question?”  

i don’t say “that would be a first,” because my mother raised me to respond politely. i tell him go ahead, as always, i’m listening.

“why do girls like you date jerks?” he asks me.

i stare at him, uncomprehending. he is a runaway train, his mouth still moving. “I just mean,” he says, “you’re all always going after the worst guys like you don’t even see people like me. like i’m always being friend-zoned, even you did it, and you’re one of the only people who is nice to me. but girls like you never say yes to boys like me.”

i don’t know what he’s saying. i’m dating a girl, and he would know that, if he knew anything about me; a clever and talented girl who means everything to me. 

he sighs and sits back when i’m not immediate in responding. “this,” he says, “is what i mean.” looks up with puppy dog eyes at me, “i mean could you ever date someone as awful as me? am i just a friend? am i doomed to be nothing more than the friend to pretty girls?”

we aren’t friends. we aren’t friends. we aren’t friends. 

he moves the topic before i can reply, back to his problems. i text my girlfriend, “men are animals” and she sends me back a poem about how much she loves me. he tries to kiss me when he leaves, and when i duck out of it, i later get sixteen texts on how scared i am of sex. his facebook posts are all about how women don’t know how to find the right men. how we’re blind to the good things. how we don’t see fate when it’s happening. 

he says, “i wrote you something.”

it’s a poem about him.

Dearest Jane Fans –

I want to begin this letter by telling you about the magic of Brett Dier.  He took a character – built from the beginning with secrets and moral lapses – and made him so likable, so funny, so sincere in all the right ways, that most of our writers’ room became #teammichael by the end of the first season.  And I honestly don’t think I’ll ever love a moment on our show as much as I loved Michael’s vows to Jane…  Which is to say, this was a devastating episode for us to write.

It was also a decision made very early on, when I thought about our story as a whole.  And even in season one, I knew it would be a hard thing to actually do, which is why there was a line (which many of you noticed) about how Michael would never stop loving Jane.  And the Narrator confirmed, “For as long as Michael lived, until he drew his very last breath, he never did.”  Honestly, I put that line into the script at the last minute to hold our feet to the fire, to make sure we went through with it.  Because even back then, the writers could all see the magic of Jane and Michael together.  Not to mention Rogelio and Michael!    

The other reason I put that line in the script was to prepare you… a little.  If the writers and actors loved Michael so much, then I knew it would be devastating for the fans.  So then, the only surprise we had left, was when…

And again – that goes back to the magic of Brett Dier.  Originally, I thought Michael would die earlier.  But Brett is such an incredible actor – he gave us such great comedy and drama and first-rate exposition delivery (!), often all in one scene.  And he and Gina… well, there’s that word again – magic.  So, we changed some things in the writers’ room.  Jane and Michael got married.  They had sex. They moved into their first home. And I’m so glad we did that and I’m so glad all those firsts for Jane were with Michael.  But this is a telenovela, as we so frequently remind you.  And we are only at our midpoint.

You’ll recall, back in the pilot, Jane was on a path.  Things were mapped out.  And then she was accidentally artificially inseminated and everything changed.  Well now, everything is changing again.  How does our romance-loving hero move on, how does she get back the light and the hope…?

Well, it’s certainly not quick.  And that’s why we’re now three years later in our story.  We’ll be flashing back to those three years and filling in gaps, but mining emotions realistically is something we work hard on and we knew the immediate pain of that loss would overwhelm our storytelling.  After talking to grief counselors, this felt like the right time to reenter Jane’s journey.  She’ll always feel Michael’s absence (and trust me, we will too), but it opens up our storytelling in new and exciting ways, while allowing for the light and bright Jane world that we love to write.  

Which brings me to something I feel really badly about.  The timing.  I’ve had so many tweets lately about how Jane is a bright spot these days. And I know you just watched a gut punch of an episode.  So, I just wanted to reassure you that Jane’s optimism will rise up.

Thank you guys so much for watching the show, for caring so passionately, and for going on our journey. And thank you so much to Brett. For his talent.  His passion.  His humor on set.  Michael will be missed in Jane’s world, just as Brett is already missed in ours.  

With love,

Jennie Urman

this is some i have no mouth and i must scream shit

what do you think that rat’s thinking?

“why am I not hungry? where is my fur? why are my eyes acting so funny?”

I like to think maybe Robbie has some strength to his frame from messing around with so many metal parts and dragging around giant canons and everything else he does that in a moment of emergency he just picks up Sportakook (bridal or over his shoulder, either way) and runs for dear life instead of Sportanerd grabbing him and everyone is confused and Sportacute is flustered because no one has carried him since he was a young babe and Robbie is confused as of why Sportaflop is so red and– yea… but

We need more Stronger-than-we-thought-he-was Robbie Rotten

“My father left us when I was two. The last time I saw him was my fifth grade graduation. I do know he’s alive because I found him on Facebook. Apparently he drinks a lot and goes to left wing protests. I’m not bothered by it. I think it’s funny. Sometimes I hope he comes looking for me just so I can turn him away. I did find an old journal recently from my childhood. It had The Powerpuff Girls on the cover. Inside were some pages where I had been practicing cursive, and I had written things like: ‘Why don’t you call me?’ and ‘Why don’t you like me?’ So it clearly bothered me then. Even though I don’t care now, maybe it’s impacted me in a way that I’ve yet to discover.”

(São Paulo, Brazil)

2

I got a call from Ali Adler and Andrew Kreisberg, and they were saying, “Hey, we’d really love for you to come in and sit down so we can talk creative with you.” I was like, “Oh, okay, I didn’t realize we were going to do that, that’s great!” I was sitting in their office, and all of a sudden, they’re like, “So, we want to just tell you what we’re thinking, what we’re going to do, and wanted to get your take on it.” They had this funny little smile on their face, I’m like, “What’s going on?” They’re like, “Well, so this season, Alex is gay.” I was like, “Oh, what?” They just went into the whole story, explaining the why behind the what, and that it’s not like this thing that all of a sudden is just spilling out, it’s a discovery for her. That’s how we wanted to approach it. You have so many stories — shows and movies — where people are already established as gay, lesbian, bi[sexual]; these are people who are coming in like that. This was a great opportunity to show somebody who’s figuring it out, the light bulb moment and putting the puzzle pieces together.

When they were explaining it to me, I was like, “Wow, I wouldn’t have thought it,” because last season you just didn’t really see any of that side of Alex. When they originally said, “Hey, we’re thinking about a love interest,” but they didn’t say what the whole thing was, I was almost like, “Oh, I don’t know if we should do that yet,” because I don’t want it to become about Alex in a relationship, where we don’t get to see enough about her discovering more about who she is because so much of it was hidden last season. Then when they started to explain the whole idea, at first I was kind of taken back a little bit, not in a negative way, but just going, “Oh, okay.” Then the weight of it hit me, thinking, “Oooh, okay, we need to really, really do justice to this in a really beautiful way.” It was right around the time of the Orlando shooting, and I just all of a sudden was hit with this weight, because I knew that then I was going to be a face for the LGBT community, and I was like, “I gotta get this right. I don’t want to go out there and say one thing and then do something else. I just want to make sure that this is very respectful and tasteful and being done with sensitivity.

read more on EW.

Hey, A friend commissioned me to do a Dan.Va with a selfie game and I thought it was funny so I hope you enjoy it as well.

I’m so sorry.

Rap Battle: Anti Vs. Dark

Dark:

You know I rule the Earth, what are you yapping about?

You? Control the world? Maybe you should try a different route.

Giving hints of your existence like you’re Santa Claus,

Yet they joke and they provoke you and that’s all because:

You’re a loser, Anti, he can always shut you up,

Don’t you get it? In his show you’re just a lousy prop.

You say you’re always there, always controlling him,

But, Anti, let’s just face it, all you do is scream.

I took over, I stayed longer and the proof is here,

So why don’t you just glitch away and disappear?


Anti:

You know, it’s funny, you wanting me to fucking disappear,

But I don’t remember seeing you in the past full year.

So sit yourself down, Dark, and let me show you how it’s done,

With some glitches, and eye itches and a whole lot of fun.

You think you’re scary with your deep voice and shit,

But you can only manipulate your way into a stupid skit.

You’re all bark and no bite, I make the others shake with fright.

I killed the owner of this body the first time I took over

With me around, you’ll wish for that one lucky clover.

I glitch my way into existence, I corrupt the files,

They’re guessing and messing, going a thousand miles.

They’re doing their best, trying to build my personality,

And I keep changing, piece by piece, I’m breaking their reality.

You’re old news, Dark, why don’t you get it, man?

I suggest you talk your way into the trash can.


Anti:

VHS cunt!


Dark:

Glitch Bitch!

Both:

You can’t win this, you better ditch!

This fight is really overdue,

We both know it, and they know it too.


Dark:

You can’t do anything right, can’t even kill yourself,

You say I’m bark and no bite, at least I don’t look like an elf.

Take those earrings off, you’re not an angsty teen,

It’s time to finally wipe off that stupid grin.

Someone should teach you how things work around here,

And for a job like that, I gladly volunteer.

The element of surprise was gone from the beginning,

Sometimes you need some time off to get their heads spinning.

Look into my eyes when I tell you that

You’re acting like a bitchy little brat.

Come on, Anti, just stop with all this glitchy fuss

And let’s see what the future truly holds for us.


Anti:

Oh, I’m sorry, you wanted me to look into your eyes?

With all that makeup on even I can’t see past your disguise.

Wearing suits and classy shoes, yet all you can do is lose.

We showed them who we are, and now it’s their time to choose.

I’m the main event, from down below,

Gave you a ticket, so enjoy the show.

They’re all in the back, I’m in the front row,

You see the truth, so hear my flow.

I’m the only one they want to know,

You’re pretty much a goner, so

You built the castle, now I have the keys

So bow your head and get down on your knees.

You think only glitching is my expertise,

Come on, Darkiplier, wake up, bitch please.


WHO WON? WHO’S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!@therealjacksepticeye@markiplier

2

Ground control to Captain Andor, AKA the Rebelcaptain Astronaut AU no one ever asked me to make

The year is 2032. It’s the end of construction to extend the International Space Station with a top-of-the-line rotating habitat, bringing the old station into the new age of space travel. Captain Cassian Andor has been on a solo mission to the ISS to install the Key To Station Operations, an AI more commonly known as K-2SO, whose job it is to manage the newly expanded station, as well as assist the crew when necessary, enabling the entire station to be run by only one crew-member at a time. 

To put the new features to the test, Cassian is to leave the station in the hands of Jyn Erso, a British astronaut send in from the ESA. She arrives two days before Cassian’s planned departure to earth, and the widely different pair take an immediate dislike to each other.

Unfortunately for them both (or perhaps fortunately), due to a critical error in K’s programming, he accidentally ejects Cassian’s return pod five hours too soon. The capsule is sent floating off into space unmanned, and Cassian is stuck on the ISS with Jyn. His only option is to wait out Jyn’s two-month mission and take the planned descend back down with her. Suddenly, they need to somehow find a way to get along for a total of 64 days.

There’s room enough on the station for them to avoid each other most of the time, but for some reason they never do; instead they get in each other’s space, his hand on her elbow when he drifts by her, her eyes always finding his as the first thing when she enters a room. Cassian isn’t sure when the feel of her loose hair tickling his throat as she floats by stopped bothering him. Sometimes he’s not even sure if it ever really bothered him at all. Jyn doesn’t remember when she started thinking of Cassian’s discarded jackets left in her workspace as an annoyance and started seeing them as signs of the kind of life she tried to leave behind on earth, but now longs for.

Without realising it, they’ve both started closely orbiting each other as surely as the station itself is orbiting the earth.

By day 17, they’ve both privately begun to understand that maybe they aren’t as different from the other as they first thought. By day 34 nothing’s been done about it, but even two people as repressed as Jyn and Cassian will have to snap at some point when pushed together in such close quarters…

✨Stay afraid but do it anyway.✨

And perhaps I’m a little touchy on the subject and maybe I hold Carrie a little too dear to my heart, but the reason I do is because Carrie Fisher helped me realize I was mentally ill.

Oh I knew I was crazy, in the same vague way you worry that you’ve left the stove on at home, despite not having cooked yourself a meal in weeks because you’re too depressed to eat a proper meal. (Except you don’t call it that, you call it “laziness” and maybe try and convince yourself it’s a new diet called “whatever requires the least amount of effort to put calories into my face”.)

Something was “off” inside my head, but no one seemed to care about it too much. Even when they threw me into eating rehab for a perceived eating disorder—despite lacking several of the vital criteria on the checklist to have typical eating disordered behavior—no one gave too much of a shit. I was just a girl who was “too nervous”, “too in touch with my emotions”, “too fragile”, I was “attention seeking”. And their remedy to this was ignore me and wonder why I crashed and burned at regular intervals, blame me for being selfish, then go back to not giving a fuck until it inconvenienced their life again.

I was crazy. But maybe I wasn’t. Maybe if I just tried harder…so I learned to cope. I became the one who Coped. I was There For Everyone. I became Reliable and above all else, I learned to be Funny and make It funny.

My mother still hates that. She thinks it’s crass for women to be funny. Personally I think I’m fucking hysterical, but then what do I know, I’m fucking nuts.

Later, now with hindsight and being able to look at my life from a safe(-r) mindset surrounded by people who care and want to help, I realize that what I was going through was (and is) untreated PTSD. Whether or not the PTSD caused the other issues, like the depression, the anxiety, the compulsive behaviors or the ADHD I think I might have, I don’t know. I likely will never know, because the Thing happened and shot my still developing child brain into a million tiny fragmented pieces of unparalleled terror and poor coping mechanisms. It doesn’t really matter at this point, all that matters is dealing with all of it as best as I can, however I can. But there’s a very real chance I might never have gotten to this stage if I hadn’t found out that Princess Leia, my childhood icon who helped me feel brave and strong while my world was ending, had written a book about living with mental health issues.

I wasn’t sure what to expect from it to be honest. I knew vaguely, that Carrie Fisher had issues. The word “junkie” had been used by my father—while unironically taking a drink from his self-medicating poison of choice and my mother tutted and tisked about how some people just ought to pull themselves together

Ten, maybe twelve minutes into the book locked away in my room, I can’t even tell you anymore whether I was crying because I was laughing so hard or if I was laughing because I was crying my heart out, but I was having a fucking revelation.

This was me, holy shit this was me, this was me, this was me, an unboken mantra in my head pounding to the beat of my heart, this was me, this is me—I do exist.

That’s a weird thought to have, right? I do exist. 

It wasn’t, “I’m normal”, because normal is not this. It’s not feeling like your mind is running a million miles a second in circles while simultaneously wading uphill through treacle and juggling chainsaws while trying to keep all your Life Plates spinning and oh gods someone just handed you a kitten to look after. What it is however, is fairly common, and suffered with varying degrees of severity by a rather sizable chunk of the world’s population. I mean, who knew? I sure as shit didn’t. I thought it was all in my head.

You know what I mean.

I’m told some people get up in the mornings and go through their entire day without once having an intrusive thought or struggling to do basic shit like take a shower and manage to remember to feed themselves. I know, seems fake right? It certainly does to me.

And here was Carrie, my Princess Leia, laying out her issues past, present and probable future, in what remains one of the funniest, most brutal attempts at self-lobotomy on paper I have ever had the privilege to read. I consumed that book in mere hours, I devoured her words and breathed them in like inhaling steam in a sauna and breathing out fire in their wake and moved onto her next book, then her next, then her next, and by then there was this blessed thing called Twitter and it should be impossible to be hilarious and poignant through 140 emojis or less, but that was the kind of brilliant she was. And this was me, this was someone like me. And she was witty and brilliant and funny and yes, things were difficult for her and yes, some parts of her life were an absolute clusterfuck of mistakes, addiction and general all round fuckery leading up to that point…but she was still there, y’know? She was still there.

And it breaks my heart a little every day, knowing that I’ll never be able to tell her how important that was to me. And to thank her for it.

So instead I try to pay it forward. Every day, from one day to the next, I try to be a little kinder, a little brighter—a little more like Our Lady Carrie—and throw two loving sparkly middle fingers up at the world that tries to stamp out and demonize the notion that mentally ill people like me, like you, exist. 

And we deserve to exist, and more than that, we deserve to be treated with human fucking decency.

And if you are of a mind that the latest news surrounding Carrie’s death means that she was any lesser of a vital energy force in this world, that she mattered less, that her words were less important or that she “deserved” to die because they found drugs in her autopsy report, it is with my profound and heartfelt best wishes, that I invite you to cordially:

✨🖕✨🖕✨🖕✨ Go Fuck Yourself ✨🖕✨🖕✨🖕✨

Don’t bother to RSVP.

MORNING AFTER WITH BTS || Friends version

waking up next to your best friend after a drunk one night stand can’t be good… right?

Seokjin:

★you and jin had shared a bed many times

★so waking up next to you wasn’t something that bothered him

★he was used to waking up with a dead arm because you were laid on it

★what did bother him was that the two of you were naked

★he’d scrunch up his face trying to piece the small bits of memory he had together

★the panic would rise slightly as he tried to remember if he was protected

★that would soon be quashed when he saw the foil wrapper on the bedside drawers

★he’d then begin to panic over what would happen when you woke up

★would you leave and never talk to him again?

★over something the two of you couldn’t even remember?

★he decided to just treat it like any other time you two wake up together

★he carefully moved you from his arm and onto a pillow

★pulled on a pair of pyjamas

★and went to cook breakfast for the two of you

★when you finally woke and went to find him in the kitchen he’d offer you a small smile

★’you’re making omelette?’

★’it’s your favourite’

★’no egg pun with that?’

★’my egg puns aren’t craking today’

★’oh thank god. i thought you were going to be off with me’

★’why would i do that?’

★’you might see me different after last night’

★’i do see you different’

★’oh’

★’i see you as a god/goddess. now sit down and have your breakfast’

★the two of you ate while talking about the last thing you remember from last night

★'it isn’t as bad as they make it look in movies. we haven’t screamed at eachother, nor do we regret it’

★’you don’t regret it?’

★’i got to sleep with the most handsome man in the world, what’s to regret?’

★’you’re such an idiot’



Yoongi:

★more like afternoon after 

★you woke before him

★and decided it would be best to let the poor guy try get as much sleep as possible

★when you move to get off the bed to dress and leave, he’ll groan as his sleep was disturbed

★he’d watch you pull on your clothes then clear his throat

★’so that’s it? you’re not even going to tell me how i was?’

★’how do you not know how you were?’

★’i was drunk’

★’so was i’

★’well we’re just gonna have to do it again’

★when you threw a piece of clothing at him he’d laugh and sit up

★’you want to go get breakfast?’

★’it’s two in the afternoon’ 

★’we’re breaking the fast, Y/N. therefore it’s breakfast’

★’here’s me thinking i would have breakfast made for me’

★’i’m just as disgusted about last night i deserve compensation in the form of food also’

★when you frowned at his words, he’ll reach to pull you back onto the bed

★’it’s called a joke, love’

★he’d wrap the covers around you along with his arms

★he’d nuzzle his face into you

★and his hands would come to rest on your stomach under your shirt

★’i was serious about the doing it again thing. i’d like to do it again many times’ 

★’is that your way of asking me to be your friend with benefits?”

★’no, that was my way of asking if you’d be my girlfriend/boyfriend’

★’will i get breakfast in bed?’

★’no’

★’then it’s a no from me’

★’you little shit’

★you’d both stay laid in bed until your stomach growled

★he’d order food from his phone

★’i could cook’

★’it would require you getting out of bed’

★’we can’t stay in bed forever’

★’not with that attitude you can’t’

★he really loves to play with your hands???

★he’ll trace shapes, lyrics, his shopping list

★when it’s time for you to leave, he’ll kinda just stretch out on the bed 

★and pout

★’take me up on my offer of going out with me’

★’why should i?’

★’because i never want to wake up without you again’


Hoseok:

★softest gentleman to ever live

★when he got out of bed, he’d wrap the covers over you so none of you was exposed

★he’d go and start breakfast and make you both coffee

★when he returned to the room to see you waking up he’d turn to mush

★’breakfast is cooking. do you want to join me for a quick shower?’  

★’that would be lovely’

★’i’ve only got shower gel for me, so you’ll have to smell like me for a while’

★he’d help you out of bed and walk you to the bathroom  

★when under the water, he’ll massage your shoulders and back 

★’i could get used to this’ 

★he’d laugh and pull you back to him 

★’do you want to get used to it?’

★he’d sway with you in his arms

★’we should go eat’

★helps you get dried 

★let’s you wear something from his wardrobe

★gushes over it

★is a big ball of mush for you

★sits you on the sofa and spoon feeds you breakfast



Namjoon:

★he’d warm with joy when he wakes up to see your naked form curled into him

★though his smile would quickly fade when he saw the bruises that decorated your skin

★his fingers would run over one slowly

★you’d give a groan in response and he’d move away quickly

★’why did you stop?’ 

★you moved to look up at him

★a frown of your own on your face when you saw his expression

★’do you want me to leave?’

★’no! no, it’s just that I made a mess of you’

★you’d look down to your chest and giggle at the purple spots you now adorned

★’it’s not funny! you should’ve stopped me!’

★’why? it obviously felt good’

★’it looks painful’

★’i think it looks pretty. a souvenir, if you will’

★his mood would lift back up at your laughing 

★he’d move to hover over you and kiss all over the marks  

★he’d help you get dressed 

★would try his best to brush you hair

★but ends up getting the brush stuck

★so he gives up and lets you take over

★this poor pup can’t cook for his life so out to mcdonalds you go

★he’d wrap his arm around you while you walked 

everything happens for a reason, you know’

★‘yeah, it was always destined for you to take me to mcdonalds for lunch’



Jimin:

★jimin took good care of you as your friend

★but after you’d been intimate hot damn be prepared to be treated like royalty

★you’d wake up on your own

★but a few seconds after you’d see him walk through the door with a tray in his hands

★’you’re not leaving until I’ve fed you’

★’who said i was planning on leaving?”

★you’d both giggle alot

★after eating breakfast together in bed, you’d flop next to him and sigh

★’tell me how much you liked it~’ 

★’it was alright’

★’alright? alright wouldn’t have made you moan like that’

★’how do you remember that?’

★’you don’t forget the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard’

★’shut up’ 

★he’d lay over you to stop you from getting up

★’are we still friends?’

★'you wanna be friends after i had you a quivering mess beneath me? i don’t think so. we’re walking away at least friends with benefits. but me being your boyfriend would be ideal’

★soft bub would turn red when you agreed to the whole dating thing

★he’d move to pin your arms on the bed and straddle your stomach

★’tell me you love me’

★’i don’t’

★’then why’d you say yes?’

★’you got a nice butt’

★would attack you with kisses



Taehyung:

★if you think you could sneak out of bed think again

★he’d have his limbs wrapped around you so tight while you slept

★so when you woke up, you’d try to shimmy out of his grip

★but gave up shortly after 

★so you just laid and waiting for him to wake up

★and when he did you’d be smothered in kisses

★he’d be so happy that you’re still here

★’you didn’t leave?”

★’how could i leave when you’ve got me in a death grip?’

★’oh, sorry’

★he’d free you from the cage his limbs made 

★so you can finally stretch

★upon stretching you finally feel the numbness in your lower half

★b/c my boy goes h a r d 

★when he hears you wince, he frowns and pulls you close to him

★probably says ‘sorry’ 2343223 times

★will run a bath for you to ease some of the throbbing

★but ends up joining you 

★hums while washing your hair

★when you’re dried and dressed he’ll cook for you

★and by cook i mean make toast for you

★he’d sit opposite you, watching you eat

★’is there something on my face?’

★’you’re glowing’

★he’d giggle as your cheeks turned red

★’you look very pretty in the morning’

★’you’re very greasy in the morning’

★he wouldn’t let you out of his sight

★for some reason he thinks you’re ten times more fragile after sex

if another member comes near you he’ll wrap you close to him


Jungkook:

★one huge misunderstanding

★you’d had to leave for whatever reason

★so when he woke up to find your side empty he frown

★and kinda just lay there

★trying to remember as much from last night as possible

★he thought you regretted it because you left

★so he wouldn’t text you

★he didn’t want to feel uncomfortable

★and you thought he didn’t text you beause he was ashamed 

★the two of you would just mope around

★the other members would be upset by the shift of mood

★they’d plan to lock you in a room until you sorted things out and things could go back to normal 

★’so’

★’so’

★’you alright?’

★’missed you a bit, but i’m good’

★’you missed me?’

★’yeah, not having you to talk to is awful’

★’i thought you were ashamed’

★’and i thought you were embarrased’

★’we didn’t speak for two weeks because of a misunderstanding?’ 

★’well when we’re done here you’re coming to the dorms and staying until further notice. I have two weeks to catch up on’ 

MORE QUESTION SENTENCE STARTERS.

❛ Why are we doing this again? ❜
❛ Is this a bootycall? ❜
❛ Did you really just ask me that? ❜
❛ You don’t think I’m going, do you? ❜
❛ What happened between you and _____? ❜
❛ So, are you two dating? ❜
❛ You think you control my life now? ❜
❛ What did you do? ❜
❛ How far along are you now? ❜
❛ Was this your plan all along? ❜
❛ Why didn’t you just tell me? ❜
❛ Are you sure you’re not keeping any secrets? ❜
❛ Are you sure you’re telling me everything? ❜
❛ Why would you even begin to think that? ❜
❛ Did someone tell you that? ❜
❛ What’s the time again? ❜
❛ Are you ever going to come back? ❜
❛ Wait, what? Where did you hear that at? ❜
❛ Are you here to lie to me again? ❜
❛ Did you really think that? After all this time? ❜
❛ Why are you leaving me? ❜
❛ Why should I believe you? ❜
❛ Why don’t you understand? ❜
❛ Do you really think I’m going to trust you that easily? ❜
❛ You mean, you weren’t joking about that? ❜
❛ Is that really how you feel? ❜
❛ Do you remember anything, at all? ❜
❛ How could you go behind my back and do that? ❜
❛ You didn’t tell me about this? ❜
❛ So, is there any exciting news to hear? ❜
❛ You think I’m inclined to believe that? ❜
❛ How long do you think I will wait for that happen? ❜
❛ Why aren’t you laughing, was it not funny? ❜
❛ Why are you staring at me like that? ❜
❛ Are you okay? What the hell happened? ❜
❛ Did you go somewhere else without me again? ❜
❛ Is it you or is it me? ❜
❛ You think I owe you an apology? For what? ❜
❛ What did I ever do so wrong to you for you to hate me? ❜
❛ Why do you hate me so much? ❜
❛ What did I ever do to you? ❜
❛ Okay, where is all this coming from exactly? ❜
❛ Are you trying to break up with me right now? ❜
❛ Is this part where we kiss? ❜
❛ Are you trying to kiss me right now? ❜
❛ Are you going to let me by or not? ❜
❛ So, are you in or are you out? ❜
❛ Are we going to stand out here all night? ❜
❛ You didn’t even bother to tell me about this? ❜
❛ What else are you lying about? ❜
❛ Are you hiding something for me? ❜
❛ Did you even notice that I was gone? ❜
❛ What are you doing here? ❜
❛ You know you aren’t allowed in here, right? ❜
❛ Did you kill someone? ❜
❛ Are you sure you’re not hiding anything? ❜
❛ What, you think this is some kind of game? ❜
❛ What are you having doubts about? ❜
❛ You don’t think we’re wasting time? ❜
❛ Is that a threat or a promise? ❜
❛ Oh, so you don’t kiss and tell anymore? ❜
❛ What more do you want me to do? ❜
❛ What am I going to do without you? ❜
❛ How long have you known about this? ❜
❛ You’re not starting to like me are you? ❜
❛ Is this your way of saying sorry? ❜
❛ Who would buy that? ❜
❛ You know, I don’t want to see you, right? ❜
❛ Have you been drinking? Are you drunk? ❜
❛ How much have you had to drink tonight? ❜
❛ How’s that hangover from last night? ❜
❛ Long night, huh? ❜
❛ So, did I miss anything interesting? ❜
❛ What are you watching over there? ❜
❛ Who are you texting? ❜
❛ Who’s got you smiling? ❜
❛ You didn’t hear that? ❜
❛ Is this a date or? ❜
❛ Are you going to ignore me forever? ❜
❛ How long before your silent treatment breaks? ❜
❛ What can I do to make up for it? ❜
❛ Will you please just talk to him/her for me? ❜
❛ Are you here to apologize? ❜
❛ Do you ever stop talking? ❜
❛ Is that really still a thing these days? ❜
❛ Are you laughing at me or with me? ❜
❛ What was it like before she/he was here? ❜
❛ Do you remember me at all? ❜
❛ Are you in trouble? ❜
❛ You’re not in any kind of trouble, are you? ❜
❛ There was something you needed to tell me? ❜
❛ Are you insulting me right now? ❜
❛ Is that supposed to be some kind of an insult? ❜
❛ You do realize you’re wrong, right? ❜
❛ What’s so wrong with that? ❜
❛ Is that such a bad thing? ❜
❛ You’re not going to be sick again, are you? ❜
❛ You really the police? Why would you do that? ❜
❛ You really don’t trust me anymore? ❜
❛ Aren’t we friends?
❛ Why do you always lie to me? ❜
❛ Why is it so hard to face the truth? ❜
❛ Why is it so hard for you to tell the truth? ❜
❛ Where do you think youre going? ❜
❛ So that’s it then? You’re just going to walk out? ❜
❛ Don’t you believe me? ❜
❛ Do you love me? Do you even like me? ❜
❛ What’s stopping us from being together other than you? ❜
❛ How come it took you so long to answer? ❜
❛ Why are you ignoring me? ❜
❛ I thought we were friends, how could you do this? ❜
❛ Are you really wearing that? ❜
❛ You really think that will help? ❜
❛ Do you ever think about us? ❜
❛ Why are you standing on my porch in the middle of the night? ❜
❛ Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? ❜
❛ What did I say? ❜
❛ Why are you having such a hard time believing me? ❜
❛ What’s your excuse? ❜
❛ Did you think I wouldn’t find out? ❜
❛ How did you find this out? Who told you? ❜
❛ Are we really going to this stupid party? ❜
❛ Why are you always so sad? ❜
❛ Why do you care so little about everything? ❜
❛ What was it like? ❜
❛ Are you setting me up? ❜
❛ As long as you aren’t setting me up for failure, okay? ❜
❛ Do you believe in love? Do you believe in us? ❜