and while feminism is about a lot of things

Lyanna Mormont & Feminism

I just have one tiny thing to say about Lyanna Mormont’s speech. I’ve seen quite a few people go after her for this particular line: 

“I don’t plan on knitting by the fire while men fight for me.”

A lot of people have said it was very anti-feminist and an insult to women, which I understand where they’re coming from, but Lyanna wasn’t mocking those women. She was mocking the rigid gender norms placed upon girls and women in her society. It was decrying the social construct that dictates women cannot fight their own battles and are only good for what society deems ‘feminine pursuits’. Lyanna’s speech was deconstructing what it meant to be female at that time and declaring that women do not need men to fight their battles for them; that they are perfectly capable of fighting their own battles. We, as modern day women, cannot define her speech by our understanding of feminism today. Feminist discourse would have been largely unheard of in that period of time. What women of that day value most is incomparable to what we as modern viewers value now. For such a toxic patriarchal society, giving women autonomy over their own futures, and thusly their own battles, was a far more needed pursuit. The comment about knitting by the fire was not to say those who do knit and enjoy it are weaker and thus unworthy of being a woman, but rather it was to decry these archaic gender roles placed upon them. Women are capable of far more than society has given them the chance to display. 

It’s completely unfair to view Lyanna’s speech through our twenty-first-century lenses because the circumstances are different. It’s the same argument we use when we apply feminist theory to literature. Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre, if read through modern day goggles, would not be considered as groundbreaking a novel as it was at the time of its publication in 1847, but it very much was. 

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”

“Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts, as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, to absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer.“

To us, these quotes would not be that powerful. As beautiful as the language is, the concept that women feel just as men feel is not revolutionary for us. But at the time, Bronte’s Jane Eyre was certainly revolutionary in its attempt to dismantle this cultural imposition on women over their need to be the passive and submissive “Angel in the House” (a concept of the penultimate feminine ideal described by Coventry Patmore in his poem published in 1854).

Imposing twenty-first-century notions of feminism on a culture that has yet to actually experience any wave or trickle of feminism is unfair. Contextually, Lyanna’s speech was for its time revolutionary and so was Jon’s decision to have both men and women fight. Even Sansa, who is not a fighter, acknowledges this by her smirk during the speech. It is not a slight towards those who are more domestic, but a slight towards culturally imposed notions of what it means to be feminine by men who see women’s worth as only mothers, caretakers and nurturers, without acknowledging them as a whole human that is far more complex than these strict roles allow them.

And for each woman, the question of femininity is always going to be different. For Lyanna, her fight has always been against those who underestimate her right to lead and the power she commands, and that is what she specifically addresses. There’s a famous conversation by lecturer and professor of literature and gender studies Ann Snitow in her 1989 essay ‘A Gender Diary’.

Her friend says in regards to the feminist movement: 

“Now I can be a woman; it’s no longer so humiliating. I can stop fantasizing that secretly I am a man, as I used to, before I had children. Now I can value what was once my shame.”

In contrast, Snitow said:

“Now I don’t have to be a woman anymore. I need never become a mother. Being a woman has always been humiliating, but I used to assume there was no exit. Now the very idea of ‘woman’ is up for grabs. ‘Woman’ is my slave name; feminism will give me freedom to seek some other identity altogether.”

It’s always been these contradicting ideologies that simultaneously fuels feminism as a movement and hinders it. Feminists for decades have struggled to reconcile both ways of thinking, but personally, I believe neither is wrong. For me, feminism is the freedom to believe in either. 

This is why I don’t see Lyanna’s speech as being particularly anti-feminist. Saying so is too black and white of a statement, which has never been something you can attribute to feminism. The movement itself is too nuanced, as are most movements.   

9 Reasons Deadpool is Surprisingly Feminist (NSFW)

1. Four Excellent Examples of Strong Female Characters.

Vanessa, is a quick-witted sexually adventurous woman attracted to Deadpool for reasons beyond his physical appearance. Angel Dust, literally a strong female character who can go toe-to-toe with Colossus and is not shy about her Lesbian activity. (She recognized Vanessa because she frequents that strip club.) Negasonic Teenage Warhead though meant for the purpose of mocking teenage angst, still a powerful ally in control of herself. Blind Al, a crotchety elderly person that shows how women can be just as disgustingly funny as men. Also she’s not within the typical age range of 18-24 years old, a female demographic over-represented in hollywood. (Seriously, I bet the number of women over the age of 35 in superhero movies is less than the number of times I’ve watched Brony porn. Hint: Less than three…I was kind of curious and I wanted to see what the rage was about…and no shame if you’re into that kind of thing because clearly Deadpool is–which leads me to my next point.)

2. It’s Okay for Men to Like Unicorns.

Yes, feminism means men get equality too! For example a man can possess feminine qualities (graceful, nurturing, emotional) like feminine things (pink, dolls, fashion) and still like vagina, without being called derogatory terms. Besides unicorns are awesome and everybody should like them. They are glittery war machines which look amazing while impaling your enemies. Clearly, they are Deadpool’s favorite mythological creature.

3. “Happy International Women’s Independence Day”

If you’ve seen the movie then you know what I’m talking about. (Spoilers) We all know Deadpool was kind of into it. (See every Deadpool comic ever.) Here’s a hint: lots of women want to try it.

4. Gender Fluidity

Deadpool himself is a gender fluid character. Though the plot of the movie is the classic damsel in distress, it doesn’t mean that he’s locked in with the uterus express for the rest of his life. Deadpool is well known for his wide range of sexual attraction. An example is the end credits sequence in which he shows his attraction for Ed Skrein. When was the last time you saw an action hero consensually taking it from behind?

5. “I pity the guy that pressures her into prom sex.”

Ultimately this is a nod to every female who has had the unfortunate experience of being pressured into sex (It happens more than you think.) But Deadpool is pointing out that Negasonic Teenage Warhead is more than capable of handling herself and pathetic losers should beware. Notice I said ‘losers’ in general because ya know… women will pressure people into having sex as well. (It happens more than you think.)

6. Three Excellent Examples of Emotionally Mature Men.

Wait a minute… does that mean…Deadpool is emotionally mature????  Sure it does, ultimately he’s a guy dealing with terminal cancer who uses a revenge plot and humor to cope. (There are worst ways of coping–like crack.) He never picks on the weak or powerless to feel powerful. At the beginning of the movie he helps out the girl in the skate park and does not expect redeemable sex. On Wade and Vanessa’s first date, when presented with the instant opportunity of engaging in sex he chooses…ski ball. He’s not a man ruled by his sexual desires, like so many men in pop culture are perceived to be. Not to mention, he gives the bad guys an opportunity to walk away. Feminism calls for men to be allowed to show emotions other than rage and sexual ferocity. Deadpool shows a vast array of emotions from joy to despair. Major props to Ryan Reynolds for possessing the acting chops to pull it off.  

Colossus is an all-around gentleman. Though practically a walking fortress, still manages to be gentle, considerate and believes in a higher standard of morals. He tries to convince Deadpool to do the ‘hero’ thing, allows Angel to fix her costume during a wardrobe malfunction, and he is disgusted with violence. Men should be allowed to dislike violence just as women should be allowed to like violence.

Weasel is a good example too but barely skates under the wire because he’s a bad friend (Betting on Wade’s death, making fun of his appearance, getting distracted at a strip club during an important moment.) However, he is supportive of Deadpool and Vanessa’s relationship, occasionally encouraging Wade to pursue it. Or even laughing along with Wade while he goes through his darkest times. Perhaps he placed that bet against his friend because he is confident in the fact that, “He never wins at anything,” and therefore Wade is safe from death. He may be a good/bad friend but, more importantly, he’s honest about his actions. Example: “I’d go but I don’t want to.” At the end of the day, honesty counts for a lot.

7. Equal Display of Genitalia

So many times women are the ones naked on screen, which happens in this film. Mostly we get well-endowed breasts and ass, occasionally we get hints of vagina. However, there are so few times men are naked on screen. Penises…Penes?…Penii(I had to google it) are the most underrepresented genitalia in film, probably second to man butt, and then followed by vagina with hair. But in this film we get equal representations of both sets genitals. We get Wade penis and butt as well as breasts, female ass with a dildo attached, and vagina. This film is an equal genitalia employer.

8. Demonstrating the Realistic Problem of Female Costumes.

Angel Dust’s wardrobe malfunction is shedding light on a major problem in superhero films. Superhero female costumes are hella unpractical, more so than male costumes. Realistically, there would be a nip slip in every battle. Everyone one on the planet would have seen Wonder Woman’s melons by now–different comic universe I know. Take it from us well-endowed females…these things need to be strapped down when in motion.

9. Slaughtering the Box Office on Valentine’s Day Weekend.

We always expect the big movie on Valentine’s day weekend is the love crazed-women dragging their obedient boyfriends to yet another Katherine Heigl movie (just kidding Katherine you’re lovely). But no…this year it was equally men and women secretly rejoicing that such an awesome movie would be dawning on a weekend that would make date night exciting. The fact that Deadpool broke records at the box office and claimed king of the weekend meant female ticket buyers contributed to the success. (Believe it or not–but women will pay for date night.) Which undoubtedly proves women can enjoy violence and butt jokes just as much as men. And at the end of the day isn’t that what gender equality means? I dream of a world where men and women can laugh at butt jokes together!

“It's still a struggle to be okay with myself, but I feel more authentic now than when I was relying on external things to validate my identity. “

Submission by: @genderatheism

Currently 24, Washington,US

I never fit in with the other girls.  I have vague memories of wearing dresses and tights to daycare, but my mother tells me that around age 2 she showed me a dress to wear that day and I said, “No Mom, black jeans,” and never looked back.  I did have a dollhouse, but my favorite game was one I called Godzilla Meets the Dollhouse People, where the family would adopt a baby Godzilla that would grow up to either eat them or protect them, depending on the mood I was in.  My hair was long, but it was wild and untamed.  I played with both girls and boys, but usually in pretend games I would pretend to be a boy.  I would sometimes get teased by other kids, called a boy pretending to be a girl because no real girl would dress the way I did.  I knew the teasing would stop if I conformed, but that wasn’t worth it to me, so I endured. Basically, I was a classic tomboy.


It wasn’t until I got a little older that I started to really feel uncomfortable with being a girl.  I was introverted and spent a lot of time online where it was all “no girls on the internet” this and “get back in the kitchen” that. I didn’t have the words for it at the time, but I hated how my body was both an object of desire and something to be scrutinized in every detail.  I was called ugly because I didn’t style my hair or wear tight constricting clothes, but if I did do those things I would have been called a vapid slut.  This was around the time my dysphoria began to manifest.  I don’t know if I can separate whatever internal feelings I had about my body from the feelings brought on by external criticisms.  Just by existing I attracted unwanted attention, even when I hid everything I could under my biggest hoodie.  Even female pronouns felt grating on my ears—that “sh” sound symbolized my status as an object.  It wasn’t just a classification, it was a command.  “SH”e.  Sshh.  Sit down and shut up, like a good girl. It didn’t occur to me at the time that other girls also felt pressured to be something they aren’t, it seemed to come easily to them.  Clearly, the problem was with me, for not being like the other girls.  So I made an effort that lasted maybe a year or two.  I thought maybe, if I tried hard enough to force myself into the mold, I could learn to be okay with it.


I was 17 when I first learned about being transgender.  It felt like all the pieces suddenly clicked into place.  This was why I couldn’t act like a girl should—I wasn’t a girl in the first place.  This was why I liked “boy things” and felt so uncomfortable with my female body.  I met every criteria in the diagnosis, it just made sense.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my parents were going through their divorce at the same time. That’s not the subject of this story so I won’t go too much into it, but that’s hard for any kid to deal with.  My life was being flipped in all directions and I wanted to escape and start over.  I moved with my mom when she left, to a town I’d never lived in before. Nobody there knew me, so I could introduce myself as a boy rather than have to come out to people I already knew.  I started to meet other people like me.  Back then the trans community was a lot smaller, but everyone was very supportive.  I was starting to feel like I actually belonged somewhere and could be myself.  I started seeing a therapist, who agreed that my noncompliance with traditional gender roles meant that I was actually male.  At 20 I started taking testosterone, and it seemed like my life was on its way to being where I wanted it to be.


All was well for a few years.  My family accepted me and I passed well enough that nobody knew unless I told them.  I went stealth and decided that once I had gotten surgery I would put my trans status behind me, thinking of it just as a strange chapter of my life.  I listened to all the trans positivity messages out there saying “trans men are real men,” and did my best to convince myself that was true.  Of course I knew that no amount of modification would actually make me male, and that I would always have a connection to women that cis men do not have.  But that wasn’t the point; the point was to say words that make people feel good.


In the years since I came out and now, there have been a lot of discussions in trans theory that eroded my sense of belonging in the community.  We always said from the beginning that gender is a social construct and how you dress doesn’t define what you are, but at the same time we uphold these stereotypes to such a degree that anyone who doesn’t conform 100% to their assigned role is considered trans.  The hypocrisy took a few years to sink in, but once it did I couldn’t un-see it.  I never liked the concept of the cotton ceiling—for the uninformed this refers to people not wanting to sleep with trans people whose genitalia doesn’t match their orientation.  Maybe I’m taking a radical stance here, but nobody is obligated to sleep with anyone they don’t want to, and trying to guilt them or call them transphobic for that is honestly creepy.  More and more people began speaking out against the medicalization of transness and gatekeeping the community.  But instead of criticizing how the diagnostic criteria for being trans focuses on liking the “wrong” toys or clothes (which if we’re going with the gender is a social construct narrative, is a valid criticism), people wanted to drop dysphoria as a necessary symptom, meaning that being trans just meant not conforming to gender roles, which aren’t important in the first place, but they are when we say they are.  The logic felt so strained and unjustified, and I started to wonder how nobody else saw the doublethink going on.  But I had one point that I held on to, that being brain sex.  That was my justification for my feelings, I had a male brain in a female body. Sure, I couldn’t prove it, but it felt that way and that’s what counts right?


Well, then more brain studies started coming out.  There was a study on brain plasticity, meaning the brain changes shape or function depending on external circumstances—so a woman who’s been living in that role her whole life would have a “woman’s brain,” but that was due to the life she lived, not how she was born.  Last year, another study came out essentially proving that brain sex does not exist, because there is no single trait or list of traits that determines if a brain is male or female.  I consider myself a scientific person, so when irrefutable proof that contradicts my beliefs is staring me in the face, my only option is to change my beliefs.  Aside from that, there is a lot of evidence showing that transition usually does not reduce depression or suicidal ideation.  But honestly I don’t need a study to tell me that, I could see it in my own life and in the lives of other trans people I knew.  So I began to wonder, what actually makes me trans? If it’s not the way I dress, not something in the brain, and not dysphoria, what is it?  My soul or spirit or whatever?  Spare me that, I’m an atheist.  I deal with facts and proof, not things that feel good to think about but don’t stand up to critical thought.  My search for answers led me to gender critical feminism, which I was apprehensive about but I needed to understand.  I began to read the forbidden texts of radical feminism where they spell woman with a Y, but I couldn’t speak to any of my trans friends about it because they were critical of transition which made them Bad People, and me a Bad Person for even being curious about what they had to say.  I was surprised to see that there were a lot of similarities to what I had already been taught.  Gender is a social construct, I know that. Female gender roles hurt female people while male gender roles benefit male people, that’s obvious.  The biggest difference was that the ideology I was already in approached the problem of gender by creating more categories, while radical feminism advocated for abolishing the categories entirely.  What a concept, treating people the same regardless of what organs they’re born with and not assigning things like colors or behaviors to one organ set or the other—of course the trans community advocates for this too, or claims to, but gender abolition actually seemed like the logical conclusion of that line of thought.  I realized that I hadn’t needed to transition to become the person I wanted to be, that my dysphoria was more due to the way I was treated for the crime of being born female than anything else, and indeed, that I now had regrets.  I still felt dysphoric, but it seemed like transitioning would never solve that.  Even if I changed everything I could, I would still be fixated on the things that I can’t.  I wanted to go back but felt like I couldn’t, because I’d forever have an altered voice and facial hair.  I just knew I couldn’t keep acting like this was sound logic when I knew it wasn’t.  I knew I couldn’t live like this anymore.


So I made an anonymous blog.  No ties to my real identity, just a place for me to vent about my feelings. Shortly after, I stopped taking hormones and canceled my future appointments with the therapist I was seeing to get approval for top surgery.  I got in contact with other people who had realized that we needed to break the chains of gender, rather than add more colors of chains—some with a history of transition, some not.  Blogging about my experience has only made it more clear to me that gender theory has become dogmatic.  I get insults and threats from anonymous posters for talking about my own experiences, even if I don’t say anything against anybody else.  I’ve been called a self-hating trans man in denial, brainwashed by the radical feminist cult.  I’ve been asked sarcastically why I hate trans people, as if being critical of the way power structures affect the way people think means that I hate individuals or want harm to come to them (I don’t.)  I’ve even been accused of being a shill making up my whole story just to undermine the trans community.  It’s a lot to deal with, but I can’t disable comments because I also get people coming to me for advice or just to vent, people who either share my experience or are just questioning mainstream gender theory but are afraid to tell people they know.  I’m happy to be there for someone who needs a sympathetic ear, but it’s also upsetting that we have to talk about these things in secret.  Detransition might not be common (yet—I honestly believe that a lot of young people who identify as trans now won’t within a few years), but it is an important part of the experience that anyone considering transition should take into account.  I want to reiterate that I completely fit the narrative of a trans childhood and am formally diagnosed, I didn’t just get into it because it’s cool and trendy to be androgynous and have a dyed undercut.  And yet, I still realized it wasn’t right for me.  The same thing could happen to anyone in transition, especially if they are willing to critically examine their ideology instead of blindly accepting it. Detransitioned people deserve a voice in the community instead of being no-platformed the way we are now.  We used to be just like you, and you could easily become like us.


I only recently came out to my family and friends about detransitioning (via Facebook, since it’s easier to write one post than to tell everyone individually.)  It took several months for me to work up the courage—Coming out once is hard enough, and I worked so hard for everything I had achieved.  It felt like throwing away a lot of effort, and I was worried that retracting my identity would make me look crazy (or at least uncommitted) and alienate my trans friends.  I was finally inspired to speak up by a friend (who shall remain anonymous) saying that she was also going back to living as a woman, and getting a lot of positive and supportive response, including from mutual friends.  When I did finally make the post I had been dreading for ages, it was uneventful.  I called both my parents and they didn’t care as long as I was happy, and life immediately resumed.  Not a lot has changed, and I don’t expect it to.  I’m keeping my wardrobe because I like my clothes and clothes don’t define gender anyway, so I can wear whatever I want.  I’m not going back to my birth name because I never liked it (sorry Mom and Dad!) and the name I chose for myself has become part of my identity, and is fairly neutral.  People still assume that I’m a man because of my appearance, and that’s probably just something I’ll have to live with—I’m certainly not the only woman who does, even among women who have never transitioned.  It’s still a struggle to be okay with myself, but I feel more authentic now than when I was relying on external things to validate my identity.  It feels like I’m actually accepting me for me, rather than try and modify myself to chase an impossible end.  Right now I’m just taking things a day at a time and focusing on taking care of this body, feeding it well and staying physically active to feel at home in it.


If you’re reading this and you’re family or a friend, thank you.  If you’re reading this and you think I’m a violent transphobe, I can’t stop you, but I hope you understand that my viewpoint is not an outsider’s opinion, it comes from an intimate understanding of the trans community.  If you’re reading this and questioning your own transition, I’m here to tell you that it’s never too late.  Some detransitioners I know were on hormones longer than me, or had surgery, and still reclaimed themselves. Our community is here for you, and we’re all just trying to heal. 

I was listening to Dan Fogler's podcast with Alison Sudol and...

GUYS THEY ARE SO FUCKING PRECIOUS

- Alison apparently hangs out with Dan’s wife and they go out for lunch

- (talking about girls and feminism) “Can you help my girls through it?” - Dan Fogler, ladies and gentlemen, asking Alison Sudol to help his girls learn that you can be more than one thing (also, random note, I had no idea he had daughters!)

- The two of them talking about an earthquake in Japan while doing a press tour is so funny

- Alison felt sick because they were in a restaurant at one point and she saw a shrimp being beheaded in front of her.

- They both really fucking hate Trump

- Dan swears a lot holy shit

- Alison says that a) Eddie (Redmayne) is humble and b) she talks about Colleen Atwood (costume designer on FBAWTFT) - the blue dress she wore as Queenie felt “like a flower petal” and she wanted all of Queenie’s clothes to be comfortable.

And then there was the conversation about casting Jacob:

- “You met with a lot of Jacobs” and “You were the only Queenie I met” (OMFG STAHP DAN)

- “The way my Queenie reacted to your Jacob” (ALI STOP)

- They talk about their chemistry which is just ❤

Also, Dan apparently bought stuffed animals for everyone on the last day of filming and he gave Alison a unicorn. (Do you guys think Eddie might have given little Iris his when she was born??)

I just cannot with our cast I really can’t ❤️

thinnso  asked:

Do you really think feminism is still necessary in the first world? I get that feminist say that feminism just means equality for everyone but the literal definition of it says it is a movement primarily advocating for women, when women have all if not more legal rights than a man does at the moment

In first world countries, I wouldn’t say it is as necessary as much as it is beneficial. Things have definitely improved vastly, but they aren’t as good as they could/should be (not speaking for women in third world countries because your question wasn’t about that). A lot of my feminism and support is directed at the women who don’t have it as well as we do in America because I am able to acknowledge that in this country, women (white especially) are privileged. Not completely so though. Definitely not more than men, and hardly on the same level.

While feminism in the past involved fighting for the right to vote and the right to divorce and much more serious (depending on your definition of serious) things than we’re fighting for now, I like to think we’re at the point where the details are finally getting read. Fine tuning is happening.

By this, I mean we’re fighting for what a lot of people fail to recognize is even a problem whether they have experienced it or simply don’t know the harshness behind it. Examples would include sexism (still incredibly common: on the streets, in my mother’s words, school dress codes), the wage gap, sexual harassment, domestic abuse, etc. Like I said, these issues many seem minuscule in comparison to what women fought for before us, but small things are important because they make up the big things and are still a wall in the way on the route to equality.

I would think that the definition says “the advocation of women’s rights” or however it was worded because back when the word feminism was created, it was directed to women being brought up and created equal to man since they didn’t have a lot of the rights we have today. I do think it can be misleading and would be better off with a different definition that states it is for equality.

I don’t agree that women have the same or more rights than man though. Again, details. Fine-tuning.

Do I believe first world countries need as much feministic support as third world countries? Absolutely not: third world countries need it more than we do (they have yet to attack and demolish the “big pictures”) But do I believe there can never be too much equality, even if that means attacking the small things that lots of people deem insignificant? Absolutely.

I hope this answered your question(s?) in a satisfactory way, and I hope I explained things decently. I’m sure I’ll read over this later and think of things I should’ve added in, but what can ya do? Also, sorry for all the parenthesis, haha. Have a good day! xx

anonymous asked:

Could you be any more of an awful, white knighting feminist? You like to support horrificly sexist characters written by men (take River, who's a slave to the Doctor, or Helen who does nothing outside of screaming she's a feminist) and then claim to be a feminist, instead of actually doing something. You just sit on Tumblr and pretend to be such a powerful feminist, while ignoring the oodles of privlege falling out of your ears. People like you are what got Trump elected.

The bitterness and sheer level of obscure determination in this suggests to me that my presentation of my personal and political beliefs is not the primary concern here, but I’ll treat you as seriously as I can.

And I can’t help further wonder at the choice to send this anonymously. If it’s for fear that my, admittedly very large, number of followers will come after you or something, well, I can’t help but say sorry, that is not something I would ever support. But, I think it far more likely you’re sending this anonymously to be cruel and hide your face. That is, sadly, the way things tend to work online. I’d like to be wrong about that suspicion.

If I come across as pretending to be a “powerful feminist,” clearly I’m doing something wrong. I don’t think feminism is ever about trying to look powerful, and while I do love a good show off from time to time, that’s more when I do a backflip than when I say something about feminism. Feminism, to me, isn’t something I support and believe in to look good. I just do it because, dammit, I want to treat people well, the most hurt and most at risk in particular. That, to me, means a lot. I want to help people, and feminism is one way of supporting people and understanding the various intersecting social forces that hold people back.

I think that’s a rather good thing, but I’m never going to pretend to be an expert. I’ve taken a few courses and it’s something I take very seriously, but I’ll never be able to rattle off names of theorists and write defining essays for critical thought. What I am, above all else, is a person obsessed with media. Feminism is just how I engage with it. And when I find media that I personally feel is empowering, I break down why, and, generally, I get feedback from people saying they appreciate it and find it empowering, too, and like that I put their feelings into words. I don’t want to tell people how to feel, but I will tell people how I feel. And I feel strengthened by those stories, as do many people I personally care a lot for.

I know I’m privileged. I’m also marginalized in overlapping ways, but if we wanna look at a net gain, as though privilege is something you can just add up points to, I’m probably more privileged than not, yeah. I’m well aware of that and strive to not ever shutting down people. Indeed, I hope my tone here is only as dismissive as is fair, and not some condescending mansplaining bullshit. Overall, I try to be open to reasoned criticism. That, to me, is the way privileged people can best be feminists, by listening to the pain and critique of those more vulnerable.

Thing is, I’m not sure your critique holds much weight. I mean, people like me got Trump elected…what? I have always been very outspoken about my political feelings, which are anything but supportive of him. It’s even caused a few fractures in my personal life because of how emphatic I am that he’s cruel and dangerous and a clear representative of the regressive alt-right backlash we are currently facing as a society. I did vote, and I can promise you it was not for him or anyone in his party (nor third party, Gary Johnson was honestly just as bad).

As for your criticisms of Helen and River, I find them reductive and frankly kinda sexist. I’ll absolotely advocate more women write for Doctor Who, hell I was ranting a bit about the lack of diversity in the expanded universe earlier today in my group chat, and I think the shortcomings of diversity in the Doctor Who televised series staff speak for themselves, though I gladly rally behind any women or people of color working on the show. River isn’t just a prisoner, and certainly not one of the Doctor. Sure, she lives in a prison, but she basically treats it as her full service hotel, and has been shown breaking in and out at will, sometimes to go off with the Doctor, sometimes just for her own adventures. She faces a lot of oppressive forces, but to me, what makes her shine is that she always transcends it as a radical, queer, glorious force for her own agency. And Helen, sure, Helen’s a quieter character, less engaged with action. But for me, what’s so important about her is how much her choices matter. She is very well-meaning and very human. For example, letting loose Caleera was all on her, a choice which had tremendously damaging reprecussions, but also was a moment of solidarity between oppressed women that saved the day in the end, which, in my opinion, is a pretty feminist arc to have. That supporting other hurting, marginalized victims of prejudiced institutions is always the right thing to do, and that solidarity can heal and save the day. Helen is strong not just because she’s a feminist, but because she is given the agency to make potentially catastrophic choices (and sometimes they are, Absent Friends exists) based on what she believes and not be treated as weak or a bitch or any other reductive category, just as a very strong and heroic and sympathetic and good.

That’s what I get out of their stories, and it’s what other people have told me they also get out of them, to their betterment. You can get something else out of it, but please don’t tell people who find progressive strength and joy from stories that they’re awful people. Not just for me, but, to get, like you say, “white knighting,” for the many women who are able to keep fighting their fights as a result of such characters. Feminism and queer activism aren’t, in my experience, about the lashing out, though we absolutely do need to fight back against oppressive forces. They’re about a solidarity among the suffering and finding a collective strength to fight that fight together and far, far stronger, and about helping others to listen and support such a cause (part of why I personally admire Steven Moffat so much is that he has listened to such criticisms and made changes for the better). Like, for example, Donald Trump. I will always be on your side to fight that fight. But I don’t think attacking me in my inbox is fighting that fight, or any particularly relevant fight, in any way whatsoever.

harry’s little sister

-james and lily having another baby about five years after harry, because the war is finally over, and lily always wanted more kids. so they do.

-they have a daughter. she looks exactly like lily. but. she has JAMes’S eYES. maybe they name her alice. after alice longbottom, who died fighting.

-so when she’s about five, ten year old harry and james take her out into the yard, and teach her how to fly on a broom. a tiny toy broom. not unlike the one that harry’s uncles gave him when he was small. and lily’s watching from inside the house. biting her lip because she doesn’t want anything to happen to her. but of course nothing does.

-harry gets out his actual broomstick, and they race. but james is helping her, and lily’s cheering everybody, and she wins.

-she loves harry more than anything, and he’s always just so fascinated by this tiny bundle of life that’s his baby sister, who he’d protect from anything.

-so a year later when harry gets his acceptance letter, and the whole potter family is at the train station to see him off, she cries. all the way home.

-lily helps her write him a letter, which becomes a weekly occurrence. harry never fails to answer them. lily sticks in pictures of her.

“alice regrew her hair!”
“look what you sister’s done!”
“she turned bathilda bagshot’s cat green!”
“silly lily and alice get the christmas tree ready!”
“she’s making a gift for her big brother (it’s a surprise!)”
“can’t wait to pick you up!”

-he proudly shows these around the gryffindor common room. nobody ever fails to grin, “she’s so cute, harry!” he beams like he gave birth to her himself. she becomes unofficial gryffindor mascot when harry’s put on the team.

-but back at home, she’s having a grand old time.

-she visits her grandparents (james’s parents. they were really nice).

-she visits the longbottom’s graves (it was scary and her mom was upset).

-she gets to walk around hogsmeade with her parents all to herself. james lets her pick out one thing at zonko’s.

-she visits her moony and paddy for a little while while her parents go on vacation. they spoil her rotten.

-when ron visits over the summer, they play quidditch. ron and harry are on one team, and her and her dad are on another. they win. lily laughs a lot.

-hermione visits too. she helps alice with her homework. and has a long chat with lily about feminism and things. it goes right over alice’s head. she already knows that girls are equal to boys. she falls asleep in lily’s lap.

-when she turns ten,and harry’s fifteen, he bring someone else home to visit. she has red hair too! her name is ginny, and alice’s love for her almost surpasses harry’s.

-she watches them play quidditch, and she’s just as good as harry. which she thought was impossible, unless you were her.

-she tries wearing her hair like ginny wears hers. ginny thinks she’s adorable. she is alice’s role model for years.

-the next year, she gets her letter too! it’s like a dream.

-she rides with other first years for most of the train ride, but winds up crawling into harry’s compartment and falls asleep in his lap. she knows she’s too old for it but it’s really comfortable, and she gets to see ginny, who makes sure she’s in the right place for the boats.

-all the other first years are in awe, a fifth year quidditch player personally escorted her? wow. and her older brother’s harry potter? wow.

-ginny goes to sit in her usual place with her year. so soon it’s just harry, hermione, and ron, waiting with baited breath, as a tiny girl with red hair climbs up onto the stool. and the hat is placed on her head, they watch as she shakes her head decisively, and she gets the biggest cheer of all, when she’s sorted into gryffindor.

-she shoots harry a brilliant smile, and goes to sit with some other first year girls. harry has to swipe his eyes. she writes home about it.

-james almost sends a howler to congratulate her, but lily steps in. she gets into lots of mischief, but it’s harmless.

-hagrid gives her piggyback rides across the grounds, and hermione still helps her with her homework sometimes. ron is always up to a game of exploding snap or gobstones, she usually manages to beat him, but it’s getting harder now.

-harry and ginny are in the process of teaching her chess. when she goes home for winter holidays she beats james, lily’s eyes leak tears of laughter, until she gets whooped too.
-when she gets sick at hogwarts for the first time, harry insists on spending the whole day with her in the infirmary. ron visits and she beats him at gobstones. the weasley twins show up and try to give her candy, “harry, it’s safe!” he doesn’t let her eat it. ginny brings her something delicious from honeydukes, and harry lets her eat that. she feels better in no time.

-although she likes hanging out with the older kids, she has lots of friends her age too. her favorite class is either charms, or transfiguration, and she finishes her first year with top marks. hermione is really proud, but not as proud as her mom is!

-a few years later, she is a maid of honor at harry and ginny’s wedding. she has a great time, and can’t be happier to have ginny as her sister.

-she’s just a really happy girl okay. harry’s little sister.

ty for reading this it’s just an idea i had

anonymous asked:

It’s true that women in 1st world countries are not oppressed but the thing is in family dinners my male cousins are always asked “how school’s/work going on?” while for me is always “did you get a bf yet?”. They answer to my aunt’s “I don’t want children” is “you will”. Someone could say it’s not a big deal just annoying little things, but these annoying little things have made a lot of my female friends force them selves into relationships or quit school b/c “hey that’s what women do.”...

Oh, that is legit sexism. No question about it. You have every right to be offended by that. I would be too.

anonymous asked:

What qualifies someone as an "edgelord" ? Someone who doesn't agree with bullshit? I understand that someone may not agree with some ideologies but calling them an "edgelord" because you don't like what they're saying?

I don’t even agree with a lot of things happening in the name of modern feminism and people who have followed me for a while know that

I still consider being melodramatic about evil feminism edgy sorry, it’s the go to internet Cool Kids Club Tryhard attitude of the last couple of years and it’s dull

anonymous asked:

Hey beautiful, & happy Saturday! Love you and your blog btw. Question for you & your followers: what kind of girl do you see each member of BTS dating? (Including race/ethnicity, age, personality, etc.)

well i’m not mentioning race or ethnicity bc,, nah. but i will say that they know what’s up.

kookie ; someone that’s mature but at the same time fun to be with,, with age,, it could go any way. he could date someone older or someone that’s (around) the same age as him.

tae ; someone who’s just as open minded as him,, also someone who is stylish,, he’d probably date someone that’s around the same age as him.

jimin ; a freaky person,, someone who’s very kind to others,, someone who dresses cute,, and age doesn’t matter,, although he’d probably get someone younger than him (but not that much younger) imo.

namjoon ; someone who has the same interests as him, someone who isn’t too dependent on technology,, someone who loves to travel/go outside/explore,, a freaky person,, stylish,, age doesn’t matter

hobi ; someone that he can have fun with,, someone that can keep him happy and laughing,, a person that he can learn something new about everyday,, someone who dresses casual most of the time,, age doesn’t matter

yoongi ; someone that loves music esp. hip hop,, someone who’d rather stay in while everyone else is out,, someone who’s kinda introverted like him,, a sexy person,, someone that can make him laugh and smile (basically another hobi),, age doesn’t matter although he’d probably date someone who’s younger since he has an oppa kink.

jin ; someone femine,, someone who likes vintage things like mario,, someone who can cook so that they can cook together,, someone who’d gas him a lot,, an active person,, someone that can show love to him 25/8,, i think he’d date someone younger or the same age

// my b for taking so long to answer this

anonymous asked:

So I wanted to ask because I think you've talked about things like this with the seme uke thing with the gaalee fest-- why has this hyper feminization of Gaara been going on for so long? Why has Gaara been so feminized? I still see it a lot even now and I just really wonder why people have latched onto Gaara being a dainty little 'uke' type... Do you think there's any real reason? Sorry if it's a touchy subject. Thanks if you answer.

Hey anon! Sorry for the delay! I got your question while I was out of town in NYC and completely forgot about it when I got back home! I totally don’t mind answering this question, so sorry if you thought I did! 

I do talk about this issue from time to time, as it’s something that seriously upsets me as a person who is a part of the LGBT community, and I think it’s important that, even in fandom, we are conscious and critical of how we consume content and what content we create. 

I think to really understand why Gaara is turned into an uke stock character, we have to look at yaoi, where the concept of uke and seme come from. Now, look, I’m ridiculous and years ago did a legit research paper for a college English class about Yaoi and why it’s “problematic” (which is to say homophobic, transphobic, and misogynistic), so I like to think I know a little bit about what I’m talking about with it. I’m not gonna like rehash that paper or anything, lol but basically what we have to really look at is what are the main tropes within yaoi and where do they end up being transferred to with shipping. 

One of the staples of yaoi is the seme and uke arch types. Seme is the dominant, usually aggressive and masculine character. Uke is the contrast. Uke is small, submissive, passive, etc. Gaara is not submissive or passive. Short, maybe, but I wouldn’t say he’s “small”. Yet how did we end up with a Gaara in fandom who is “submissive” and “passive” in art? How did we end up with a Gaara who is often an unwilling sexual object? Not too long ago–maybe like a couple months?–I saw a piece of art that someone drew where he was literally in tears while being touched sexually…. And it made me sick. 

That is not consensual. That is not love. That is rape. How did fandom come to normalize this? It honestly baffles me. And there’s always going to be people who say “it’s just fantasy!” but it’s not. Fantasy is not just fantasy. Fiction does not exist in a vacuum, and no it’s not a kink. It’s fetishistic and gross and it actively hurts people. But anyways I’m babbling cause it’s late… 

So I think the reason Gaara ended up in the uke category as per the LeeGaa fandom is really superficial. I think it’s partly because Lee’s whole thing is physical fitness, strength, etc while Gaara’s fighting style is more passive–as passive as fighting can be lol. And then I think Gaara being shorter contributed too. I think ultimately, at the end of the day, it’s about his physical appearance because there’s really no understanding of his character (or Lee’s) when you place him in this role of ‘uke’. Uke is a stock trope. It’s a blank slate that one can put any face to and basically get off to. It doesn’t rely on characterization, depth, or an equal relationship. It relies on a very set formula that–at the end of the day–is harmful. 

So like this really long winded reply is really just leading to a very simple answer: it’s all superficial. he’s not as tall as Lee, he’s not a physical fighter, his features are more androgynous or feminine depending on how you wanna look at it (the dark circles around his eyes could contribute to ppl thinking he’s feminine given all the jokes ppl make about him wearing makeup)… But yeah. I think he just fell into this because of physical, superficial things because people need someone to fill the role of “uke” when they decided to follow this yaoi mentality. Lee filled the role of seme–despite not being anything close to a seme at all–in much the same way. It’s all superficial. 

Like there’s legit a list on some group from the Dark Days that outright states some of this as the reason for why Gaara’s the “uke”…. so ya know. 

anonymous asked:

What do you think of Montage of Heck?

I don’t like MOH, tbh. It portrayed Kurt as a depressed junkie. They could have talked about his feminism, his relationship with his bandmates, how he was bullied in school for befriending a gay boy…there are a lot of other important and bright things about Kurt that they forgot.
They didn’t talk about his relationship with Tobi Vail too.
There are tons of videos of the band having a great time and enjoying themselves while playing live, but they only talked about how Kurt was miserable and how he hated fame.
Long story short: They only showed his dark side, the side media is focusing on, and forgot what’s truly important.

In addition, you find his parents and wife lying straight to the camera.
Wendy saying how much she loved her son and blaming Don for everything and pretending that she supported Kurt but in fact she was a very bad mother and when Kurt became famous she started kissing his ass.

Same thing for Don. He tried to contact his son in 1992, after not talking with him for 8 years.

And Courtney claiming that Kurt attempted suicide because she THOUGHT about cheating on him. Seriously?

I really don’t like that movie. I only like the clips of him as a child, and the home videos of him and Frances. But that’s it.

Your Fave Is Problematic: YA Edition

So I finished and passed my thesis. It’s like 84 pages long and it’s an analysis of “Throne of Glass,” and “The Mortal Instruments.” I actually love YA books, but I’m aware that they often play into a lot of problematic tropes and perpetuate some unfortunate stereotypes. I picked these books because of their critical acclaim and because I feel they’re representative of a lot of things wrong with ya fantasy books. I examined the treatment of characters of color, girl-hate, rape as a plot device, and unhealthy relationships. My conclusion, these books are super problematic, but there is a way to talk about why without shaming people for enjoying them and while holding authors accountable. Would anyone read it, if I posted some of it here?

10

The only thing truly chilling about Halloween is how little fabric manufacturers use for women’s costumes.

In the name of Science™, we researched popular costume ideas for men and women, and compared them side-by-side. We began to see a theme emerge. Manufacturers assume that ladies are looking to show a lot of skin, while men’s costumes offer a lot more coverage (and, thus, warmth).

Check out these 21 jarring costume comparisons.

anonymous asked:

what are the main differences between rad fem and lib fem?

The main difference is that liberal feminism tries to work within the system to get women to achieve positions of power in it. Radical feminism wants to take the system down and rebuild it from scratch. This is why it’s called “radical”, because it grasps at the roots of oppression and tries to solve the problem from there. This is why, for example, libfems celebrate women CEOs and politicians, while radfems are skeptical, since the existence of CEOs by itself is a problem. Not everyone can be a CEO, not everyone can be rich and “successful”, since the capitalist, white supremacist, male supremacist system we live in needs to have poor, dispossessed people or it won’t sustain itself. And the majority of the poor are women. It ends up being innefective, since it only works for a minority of women who are already quite privileged in other ways.

Another good example of this is the discussion about prostitution and porn. Liberal feminists base themselves on the individual choices of every woman (“I choose to go in porn because I want and it empowers me!”), it completely ignores the whole machinery behind it. It ignores how trafficking of women exists, it ignores how women are forced into prostitution by poverty, it ignores how the majority of women in prostitution/porn are victims of sexual abuse. In short, liberal feminism focuses a lot on individual, personal choice and agency, but it doesn’t consider how the range of choices available for a woman is affected by things that are out of her control, like race, class, sexual orientation, among others.

It also ignores how some “choices” are not choices at all. For example, a woman has the “choice” of wearing makeup or not, of shaving or not, and they go around trumpeting about their “winged eyeliner sharp enough to kill a man” and how it empowers them, while willfully ignoring the fact that not wearing makeup (or performing femininity in general) causes the woman to be discriminated against in professional settings, for example.

There’s a lot more to be said about it, and I will reccomend you a few videos that explain it better than I could. I like the lecture “Neo-Liberalism and the Defanging of Feminism” by Dr. Gail Dines, as it gives a good, newbie-friendly explanation on how liberal sex-positive feminism is innefective. Lierre Keith’s lecture on Radfems Respond 2014 also talks about the subject in an easy to understand way. You can also use this little chart for a quick comparison:

Finally, if you want to learn more about Radical Feminism, RadFem.org is a good place to start. You can download a lot of books there that will give you a good perspective on the subject. I hope that helps, Anon!

  • them: i don't like tswift bc she sometimes does morally questionable things
  • me: ok fair, lets discuss that like adults
  • them: i don't like tswift bc she says #squadgoals and writes about boys in her songs
  • me: wrong, please stop, oh my god
The Ballad of Joe Yogurtsack: A True Story of Fear, Friendship, Theft, and the Worst Roommate I Ever Had

The first time I met Joe, he was standing in the middle of my kitchen, offering me stolen yogurt from a large black garbage bag.

The kitchen was in Minneapolis, where I was renting a portion of a house while I interned downtown. The food, he told me proudly, he had lifted from the breakfast buffet of a nearby hotel. The man was my new housemate.

Keep reading

Why I Dislike Love Never Dies: A Master Post

This is a question that I have answered before, but it was on my other blog that I deleted, so I’ll re-write it here:

First of all, I find the entire premise of the Phantom immigrating to Coney Island and running a freak show to be ridiculous. He was raised in a freak show, why on earth would he ever run one? Also I find the alterations in the Phantom’s character disturbing. “The Beauty Underneath” is ridiculous. Erik was never about freakish beauty, he was never about reveling in his own weirdness. The entire point of him loving Christine was that she was beautiful in a way he couldn’t be. She was his obsession because she represented to him all that was normal in the world. Especially in the book, when all Erik talks about is wanting to “take her out on Sundays”. He didn’t want to be a freak, he wanted to be normal. He spends time working on a mask that will give him a nose, he pours his soul into the beautiful music he writes. He doesn’t want to be a freak, and I think Love Never Dies completely missed the mark on that.

Secondly, let’s talk about Christine for a minute. She goes through an entire musical trying to get away from the Phantom. She loves Raoul. (I should note that I completely disregard the 25th Anniversary portrayals of the main three because they were 100% geared towards LND). She agrees to be in a performance to lure him out, so that her fiance can catch him and she’ll be free. At the end, she sacrifices herself SO THAT RAOUL CAN GO FREE. Again, I think many people miss that point. This psycho was threatening to murder her fiance if she didn’t pick him. The only reason she kisses him is because she loves Raoul. Well, that and that she pities the Phantom. Pity is not the same thing as attraction, people. And it’s definitely not the same thing as love. I take issue with the idea that after all of that, she just leaves Raoul to hook up with the Phantom? What? And not only that, she lies to Raoul for ten years? Well no wonder their relationship was so messed up! That is not the Christine I know and love. You don’t try to sacrifice your life for someone and then like three months later have sex with his would-be murderer and then marry him anyway without telling him! It just makes her into such a bad person. And she’s not supposed to be, at all.

There have been a lot of things said about feminism and Christine, and I’m not going to go into it in this post, but I will say that Love Never Dies completely destroys any chance Christine had at being a feminist icon.

Thirdly, while some of the music is beautiful, a lot of it is just bad. “Bathing Beauty” is an abomination, and every time Madame Giry opens her mouth I cringe. They did nothing to make Meg less annoying, and completely destroyed her sweetness and her friendship with Christine in one go.

Fourthly, the fact that the Phantom suspects that Gustav is his son because he can play the piano is absurd. HELLO his mother is a musical prodigy too, and in the book Raoul played the violin. In the original London version, Christine goes and “visits” the Phantom the night before her wedding. They took this out in the Australian version for the obvious reason that if that were the case she would have NO IDEA whose kid it was, and it also makes her into even more of a bad person.

So up until this point, I can accept this as a poorly written musical with a very specific agenda in mind. But then I come to my last point, the one I feel the strongest about, and the one that just irks me beyond reason.

The demonization of Raoul.

This is a man who did everything he possibly could to save the girl he loves. He begged Christine to let the Phantom kill him rather than sacrifice herself. He put said girl he loves in a dangerous situation, yes, but it was to save her in the long run. He gets caught up in the whirlwind of madness and darkness just because he thinks his childhood friend is attractive and goes after her. Then, he married her anyway, despite family problems and nobility and what-have-you. A man like that does not, I repeat, does not, abuse his wife (as is hinted at in the Australian production at least), become a broke, gambling-addicted alcoholic and treat his son like scum. That character change literally came out of no where and did nothing to make the story better (as a matter of fact it made it worse).

Some people might say, “Well if Andrew Lloyd Webber hadn’t made those character changes then it would be the same story!” And to that I say absolutely. Because the original story of the Phantom of the Opera doesn’t need a sequel. The characters were manipulated and squeezed and forced into boxes to create an unnatural, forced drama that ruins the integrity of every single one of them.

To me, at the end of the Phantom of the Opera, no one really looses. Raoul and Christine run off, safe and sound, and Erik got to see someone choose him, and then he redeemed himself by freeing her. While it is heartbreaking for the Phantom, it’s also his one moment of shining morality, and frankly it’s the only time in the entire show he shows any kind of real love and not just creepy obsession. Because true love is putting the person you love before yourself, which all three of the main character demonstrate exceptionally well in the original story.

Love Never Dies takes that morality and love and twists it into lust, selfishness, dishonesty, and cruelty. It also takes the wonderful dichotomy of good and evil, white and black, hero and tragic villain, and makes it into a story about how everyone is a horrible person and no one can be happy. 

Basically, there is nothing redeeming about the characters or the story or the morals and everyone looses in the end.

He should have just left it alone.

Women wouldn’t have to waste men’s time if they would take a hint and leave us alone after the first, second, fifth, or even nineteenth time it’s been made clear that said women aren’t interested.
If women weren’t intimidated or pressured into giving men their numbers, if men didn’t send unsolicited dick pics, or if they’d stop contacting women altogether once they’ve been told no, then there would really be no need for #wastehistime2016 because he’d be gone long before it came to the point where women and their friends are planning a way to get a man/men to leave them alone.
The only people that have a problem with this hashtag are the people that are getting their time wasted, and quite frankly if you’ve forced yourself into someone’s life despite obviously being unwanted to the point where something like this ACTUALLY happens to you, you need to take a look at yourself and see where you’re at.
Let’s not forget to mention that men have been wasting women’s time for who-knows-how-long. Like, come on, it started out as a joke and then it became apparent to a lot of people just how much of a joke the behaviour of an uncountable amount of men really is.

“Get him pregnant, tell him you gotta run to the store for some milk real quick & never come back #wastehistime2016”.

Are you, men, really offended by that? Are you sure there isn’t some kind of message behind it?

“Tell him you’re not looking for anything serious. Then get in a relationship the next week with someone else. #wastehistime2016”.

Ah, yes, something that happens to just about everyone, men and women alike. Is this worth getting upset over?

“Ask him if he is good with his hands, then when he comes over make him put together that IKEA furniture. #wastehistime2016”.

Gender roles and stereotypes are a little less fun when they’re aimed at you, aren’t they? Especially when the butt of the joke isn’t just that men can put together furniture but also that they’re not getting laid. Wow. Offensive. I would tell you to go and have a cry about it but we all know that men don’t cry.

“He’s your baby in the messages, but when he walks up to you in person introduce him as your friend. #wastehistime2016”.

Let’s be honest, this happens to women a lot. Men too, sometimes, but sitcoms often use this happening to women as a punchline or a plot twist.

The fact that #wastehistime2016 is the biggest concern that men have in regard to dating says a lot about the male privilege that most of them are completely unaware of. For a short time (we all know hashtag trends don’t last), men can get ready for a date while worrying about a hashtag, and then ‘combat it’ with something stupid like #wastehertime2016 (which is sort of like men combatting feminism with 'meninism’ - which also started as a joke). Meanwhile, women can do what they’ve been doing for as long as history goes back, preparing for a date while worrying about things like unwanted sexual advances, having their drinks spiked, being physically overpowered and hurt, and my personal favourites, rape and murder.
No, none of those things are unreasonable things to fear, but yeah, don’t mind any of that, men! You guys should all be wound up in fretting over whether or not you’ll fall victim to something like “Leave his messages unread for a week, then finally text him back and tell him you were asleep… The whole time. #wastehistime2016”.

anonymous asked:

Have you seen that post going around about tumblr feminism and anime and imposing US feminism on anime/manga while disregarding Japanese gender roles? What do you think about that?

I’m assuming you mean hisanakagami’s post? Here it is, for folks who haven’t seen it.

I think it’s a great and incredibly important post. It actually nails one of the reasons I’ve been a little reluctant to write about Madoka Magica—I love it to death, but it was in many ways created for a male audience, though that isn’t immediately obvious to Western viewers. Moe anime in general is a weird thing to talk about because, by Western feminist standards, it’s totally ace—female-dominated cast, lots of different female relationships, and to Western eyes, no overt objectification. But within its native context….it’s a very different, far less progressive affair. Or take Haruka Tenoh—people can draw empowerment from her however they want, death of the author and all that, but I see tons of people grafting Western (and especially US-specific) ideas of gender onto her without a single thought given to what she means within Japanese culture and that’s just…wrong. If you want to talk about these incredibly important, incredibly complicated, and incredibly fraught issues of gender and sexuality, you need to understand what shaped them and where they came from, and if that isn’t where you come from, you need to sit down and crack a book before you speak.

That said, I don’t think that means Western folks shouldn’t have opinions on, or draw empowerment from stuff like Madoka or Sailor Moon. It’s becoming increasingly clear that the latter was an enormous formative (and oftentimes empowering) influence on this generation’s crop of geeky/fannish/comics-inclined people, especially its women, and we can’t just ignore that. Studying what these things mean, and celebrating them when appropriate, is absolutely valid in my opinion, even if the empowering aspect is only truly radical within a Western context. But we all have to remember that we’re operating within that Western context. Our reading of these stories is not more important than a Japanese reading of them, and we should absolutely not regard our analysis as the “canon” one, or the one the author really intended. The story’s meaning within its original context needs to be understood above all, and can never, ever be disregarded.

My senior thesis dealt, in part, with women in postwar Japan, and in the process I came across some really great books about gender and feminism in Japan written by Japanese women. I highly recommend the following to anyone interested in learning more: