and where are your eyes miss lizzie

every pride & prejudice adaptation must contain:
  • at least one scene with jane and lizzy in their bedroom doing each other’s hair
  • “barely tolerable”
  • at least three mentions of darcy’s undying attraction to lizzy’s eyes
  • lizzy walking everywhere??? this girl??
  • lizzy showing up at netherfield, still breathing heavily from her walk there, and darcy being flustered™
  • “are you so severe on your own sex?”
  • jane with a fever in bed. bonus points if bingley is awkward about it.
  • “a mrs. bennet, a miss bennet, a miss bennet, and a miss bennet.”
  • an unnecessarily dramatic scene where lizzy and fam are boarding the carriage to leave netherfield
  • mr. collins making a comment about the food
  • mr. collins going on and on about fordyce’s sermons
  • mr. wickham played by a tall actor with brown hair preferably with a dubious look in his eyes at all times.
  • mrs. bennet being the definition of Extra. bonus points if she complains about her nerves at least six times throughout the film.
  • mr. wickham pretending to be so hurt by darcy like *oh my poor heart i can’t even look at him oh lizzy help me*
  • “it is my intention to remain close to you throughout the evening”
  • lizzy being incredibly surprised at herself for saying yes when mr. darcy asks her to dance
  • *INTENSE DANCING AND SEXUAL TENSION*
  • lizzy’s desperate *please don’t leave me alone with mr. collins* look when he asks to speak with her so he can propose
  • “your mother will never see you again if you do not marry mr. collins, and i will never see you again if you do”
  • darcy taking a swim in a white shirt. this is essential. i cannot stress this enough.
  • “you give your opinion very decidedly for your age”
  • LIZZY SLAYING DARCY AFTER HIS FIRST PROPOSAL
  • “YOU ARE THE LAST MAN IN THE WORLD I COULD EVER BE PREVAILED UPON TO MARRY” OOOHHHHHHHH
  • heartbreaking music over a devastating montage of lizzy reading darcy’s letter
  • at least one mention of how small the longbourn estate and/or garden truly is (by lady catherine)
  • “i will make no such promise”
  • lizzy seeing pemberley for the first time and thinking “shit i fucked up”
  • everybody thinking that mr. wickham would kill mr. bennet in a duel for lydia’s honor before a mysterious figure (darcy) takes care of everything
  • everybody crying when bingley proposes to jane
  • “my affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever”
  • “we gather here today to join this man and this woman, and this man and this woman…”