and went to google

Top 13 Most Unfuckable Men in Dragon Age (according to me, a lesbian)

Honorable Mention: Oghren

I am not including Oghren on the official list for a couple reasons. Firstly, jokes about how gross Oghren is are basically everywhere. I can’t make a remotely original joke on this subject because they have all already been made. Secondly, I don’t want to subject anybody to actually thinking about fucking Oghren. And third, it’s no fun punching down. Nobody likes Oghren except me. And I get it. Oghren is a pretty cool character who was grossly mishandled by writers who think sexual assault, alcoholism and homophobia are hilarious jokes and not serious issues. Sorry about all this, Oghren. Enjoy your free pass from being mocked by a lesbian on the internet.

13. Zevran Arainai

Zevran is the least unfuckable man in Dragon Age because he wouldn’t make it weird. He’d give you a nice lay, do a good job, and then high-5 you afterwards. He’s nice-looking and experienced and would overall be an almost not-unpleasant experience. If there was a gun to my head and someone forcing me to pick a Dragon Age man to fuck, it would be Zevran.

12. RDP Sten

I say Realistic DAO Project Sten and not regular Sten because frankly RDP Sten is the true Sten. Honestly, look at this man. Assuming you didn’t die during intercourse, he’d make you breakfast the next morning, then reshackle your roof and do your taxes. RDP Sten would take care of you. RDP Sten would treat you right.

11. Justice

…as long as he gave Anders’ body a bath first, because wow he sure is a guy who lives in a sewer. Justice is a friendly Fade spirit curious about the mortal world and its many wonders. Fucking Justice would be a nice opportunity to show an otherworldly being a good time. Not to mention the novelty. Think of the puns you could make afterwards. “It was a spiritual experience.” “It was truly righteous.” “Justice isn’t easy–no, Justice is hard.”

10. Varric Tethras

Varric would be the ideal sugar daddy. He’d indulge you, buy you nice things, tell you stories, and when it’s time to go to bed, you’d just have to put up with him bringing his crossbow with him. Honestly, he probably wouldn’t even get to the sex. You’d have half your clothes off and then he’d start telling a story and three hours later he’s cried a little about his ex and fallen asleep cuddled up to his crossbow. Meanwhile, you are free to go back to your house with your money and jewelry. Ideal.

9. Alistair

Alistair is inexperienced, but a nice boy. You could show him a good time, and then pat him on the head and give him a cookie afterwards. He’s funny and nice and if you aren’t his first lay, it’ll probably be Morrigan and she would probably turn into a spider halfway through just to fuck with him. I’m willing to fuck him just to spare him that being his first time. Alistair might make it weird and try to give you a flower or something, but he’s young and easily dissuaded. Fucking Alistair would be acceptable and satisfying in some ways.

8. Iron Bull

He ugly, but otoh, monster dong, if you’re into that. Iron Bull wouldn’t make it weird emotionally, but he would definitely make it weird sexually. Assuming you survived, you would have a hell of a story. I would bring that up at every cocktail party I went to for the rest of my life. “I fucked a minotaur man,” I’d say, sipping my martini. “He had an eyepatch, and a dong the size of your forearm. I’m lucky to have survived.” The party guests gasp and fan themselves at the scandal.

7. Nathaniel Howe

I have no feelings either way about fucking Nathaniel Howe. I would show up, do the deed, and leave. Maybe give him a thumbs up, to be polite. My entire soul doesn’t rebel against the concept, but neither can I think of any benefits to fucking Nathaniel Howe.

6. Sebastian Vael

I wouldn’t hate to fuck Sebastian, and he seems nice, I guess. He’d be on par with Nate, except for the fact that he’s a devout fantasy Catholic. I’m morally opposed to fucking Catholics, because I don’t like Catholicism, and because I don’t want to deal with their ensuing guilt. I would tolerate fucking Sebastian.

5. Fenris

Fenris is objectively one of the best-looking men in Dragon Age, but oh lord, the canon romance path is so much. I’d do it just so I could touch his pretty hair, but I’d feel real bad about it. I like fenris. I don’t wanna cause him troubles. On the other hand, Isabela seems to manage it without much emotional fallout, so perhaps it would be alright. Fucking Fenris might be perfectly fine, but it might end terribly for all involved. As a lesbian I’m not gonna risk it.

4. Anders

Anders is a nasty sewer man who has no particularly attractive physical features to make up for it. He’d probably be an alright lay, but if you fucked him he’d definitely fall in love with you. Possibly he’d have already been in love with you for like three years. Then post-fuck he’d say a lot of weird stuff and ask to move into your house, and you’d be so worried about his eating habits and his stress that you’d be like “sure :)”, and then you’d have to change your name and flee the city to escape. Don’t fuck Anders.

3. Blackwall

I previously had Blackwall a spot higher, but then when I went to google a picture of him I realized he actually looks okay. Lumberjack aesth. Nice beard. Probably nice chest hair. Good muscles. But he’s also kind of a stinky old man who is kind of like your dad, and he would make his weird guilt issues your problem. I’d rather not, although I grant that if he was a couple decades younger he might be Acceptable.

2. Cullen

I would really hate to fuck Cullen. I find him morally repugnant, physically unimpressive, and overall vile. Not to mention that he seems like the kind of sexually inexperienced dude to just try inserting Tab A into Slot B with no foreplay–but then, would you really want foreplay from this guy? At least it would all be over within 5 minutes and then you could make your escape through the window.

1. Solas

Solas is the absolute most unfuckable man in Dragon Age. Not only is he bald, and a genocidal maniac, but he would also get weirdly hung up on you. Then he’d like, haunt your dreams. “Vhenaaaaaaan,” you hear every night forever, to your horror. “You’re not like other girls,” he says, before showing you a picture of his fursona, which is a wolf. I would rather do literally anything else but fuck Solas. I thank G-d every day that Solas is not real, and that I am in no danger of ever fucking him. Solas is the least fuckable man in Dragon Age.

sooooo i found out that in the original version of A Link to the Past, Link has pink hair??? 

also my gf said that link is a nonbinary icon so thats just true

so im absolutely obsessed with @skyesentinels ‘s youtube au and i got an IdeaTM (pls read the voltron youtube au frfr it’s s o good)

-For april fools, Keith and Pidge make a new channel for ‘supernatural hunting and alien spotting’
     -The video they post is just them running around Keith’s apartment while lance chases them while wearing a bedsheet
          -there are many gifs of lance tripping and face planting because he can’t see
-they all think it’s just an one time thing they did for a funny april fools thing but no
     -the fans won’t allow it
     
-the channel somehow gets to 100,000 subscribers, and keith and pidge get sent an actual silver play button from youtube for a channel they made as a joke
      -then they realize that they can’t just let the channel die now
-So they continue making videos
-they start out mostly the same as the first video, just obviously fake ‘paranormal activity’ while someone chases them
     -there are also many gifs of shiro dragging keith away while being the ‘ghost’
     -also many, many audio clips of keith’s high pitched screaming as this is done
-Lance is a fan favorite in these videos because he always ends up screaming and falling into keith’s arms
     -the klance shippers l i v e for this channel
-shiro is the worst to have in these videos unless he’s the ghost
     -shiro: maybe the real ghost was the friends we made along the way
     -keith: sh u t up shiro this is s e r i o u s
     -”yea i’d punch a ghost. I’d fight every single ghost in the astral plane. im not scared”
-there’s a video of keith filming lance in the middle of his morning routine and yelling “look guys! It’s a ghost, and it’s hideous
     -the rest of the video is the camera shaking while keith runs for his life
-there are x-file memes everywhere
     -every single video there are new clips on tumblr with the x-files theme playing
-g h o s t  a d v e n t u r e  m e m e s
     -”My name is Keith Kogane. I’ve never believed in ghosts until I came face to face with one. So I set out on a quest to capture what I once saw onto video….With no big camera crews following us around, I am joined only by my fellow investigator Pidge Holt and our equipment tech Hunk Garrett. The three of us will travel to the some of most highly active paranormal locations, where we will spend an entire night, being locked down from dusk until dawn….Raw…Extreme…These are our Ghost Adventures.”
     -this leads the fandom to make memes about zak bagans being keith’s boyfriend
     -lance doesn’t realize that it’s all a meme and he’s??? So confused?? Like i thought keith and i bonded???? Who is zak and what does he have that i dont???????
      -”zak bagans is my boyfriend and i would die for him” -keith probably
      -keith does have a lowkey unironic crush on zak bagans and the only one that knows is shiro
-then they start making other videos of them doing things like looking for aliens/bigfoot/mothman ect
     -everyone likes these videos too because keith almost always starts ranting that mothman is r e a l.
     -pidge does the same but with nessie
-this leads to them making videos about conspiracy theories
     -these are basically just 30 minute long unedited videos of them screaming about cryptids
-they also start doing those cursed games like the bath game and midnight game
     -they get the whole gang together to play the midnight game but it’s basically just them sitting in a dark room with candles pretending to feel stuf
     -except lance who claims he’s actually feeling things, but in reality its just keith messing with him
-their videos sometimes end with the police showing up one way or another
      -once they had to pause making a video because keith screamed so loud that his neighbors thought he was dying so now there’s footage of keith awkwardly explaining to a police officer what they were doing
      -the fandom has started making bets to whether or not the police will show up in the next video or not
-theres a compilation of videos from pidge’s snapchat that are just a slow zoom of keith’s face as he does something with the caption ‘caught a cryptid on video!!!!!!!!’
     -keith tried to get her back but he’s much less sneaky about it so most of keith’s video’s usually end with pidge tackling him
-the fans get ‘#cryptidkeith’ treading on twitter and keith wants to die
     -most of it is edits of keith’s face of bigfoot or screenshots of keith in the background of a shot with that red circle and zoom in of him (see: @keithsightings)
     -theres also a lot of keith x mothman
     -keith has never been more impressed and also disgusted by his fandom

5

the evolution of hansol vernon chwe in sleeveless shirts, an appreciation post

2

I redrew a picture from my trip, this wild coloring is pretty fun.

(Commissions open!)

Make me live in unlivable conditions? Let's see how that works out for you.

I have been living in my current apartment for about 11 months and a week. My roommate and I were prepared to renew our lease but in this last month the quality of our apartment has fallen off a cliff.

There are several three foot holes cut in the walls of the hallway dripping water filled with black, white and green mold that have been open with no additional repairs for almost a week. Then our hot water went out and after three days of submitting service requests online and calling the front office I finally threatened legal action. Then when the repair guys finally came (at 5pm on a Friday after I had been calling it in since Wednesday morning) the repairman kept bitching and moaning how I was ruining his weekend. And for the week proceeding and following my water heater repair my pipes have intermittently been pumping up brown and yellow water.

I went to my leasing office to complain and tell them about the issues. I brought photos and videos of all the issues and told her about the repair staffs rudeness. Her responses were “My repair guys wouldn’t say that, you’re making it up.” , “It’s just mold it’s not going to kill you and we don’t have to tell you anything about repairs not inside your apartment so why don’t you just mind your business?” and “Yeah, repairs take time, you couldn’t be patient.” and my favorite, “It’s just rust, you’ll be fine.”

She then had the GALL to tell me if we were renewing our rent would be going up. I canceled my lease right then and there. But here is where my true revenge begins.

After signing a new lease at a new apartment building I wrote a six paragraph, scathing account of the incidents including, photo and video. These then went on Yelp, Google, Rent, ApartmentGuide, ApartmentList and every other realty website I could find. I sent copies to their corporate headquarters, the Fair Housing Agency, the Code Enforcement Agency and a lawyer. I’ve already been told that what I went through constitutes ‘inhospitable living conditions’ and that I am not obligated to pay rent while living on these terms.

If they’d just done the repairs, apologized for the delay and left my rent alone they would have had us for another whole year.

Now (thanks to AdWords) every time you google my apartment complex, the first result is my scathing review and pages of photos of brown water, rotting wood and mold.

the iplier problematic fav: why u like them (analyzed)
  • Darkiplier: damn, that edgy manipulative stuff really got you. you want a guy who can 100% keep things on the dl, but conspire with at the same time. maybe feeling a new rush of uncontrollability is something you like, or prefer the control to be in another's hands. there's a power they have that you envy to have.
  • The Author/Host: the guy may be blind be he knows more about you than yourself. literature is appealing, a way one could manipulate words escapes you, or you admire it. There's a certain mystery that lingers, but it won't faze you.
  • Wilford Warfstache: the bubbly murder, his every reaction invites for response. carefree, yet troubled. you can relate, yet may not undersrand why. or maybe you just like pastel. an innocence that lies hidden or is broadcast far and wide, with something else always underneath
  • Googleplier: you want control. maybe you lack it. orders and commands appeal to you. they aren't necessarily witty, or sassy, but you know their response to a conflict will be neat and swift. no more and no less. organization is a must, regardless. there's the hint of evil that shows through, but you know in essence, it's harmless.
  • Dr. Iplier: the man has courtesy. he may not see it in every perspective, but it's there. you want someone more honest and blantant, but choosy with their words. there's a hint of compassion in what they do that you envy.
  • Bim Trimmer: he's got the enthusiasm. a bit confident, some might even say overzealous. sees their own importance, or what they can bring to the table. what do you want? pretty much all of that.
  • Yandereplier: finally, someone who might even yearn for you. a trait that shows unending care, with the cost of possibly too much attention, but that wouldn't matter to you. always gets what they want, no matter what.
  • Ed Edgar: he's got some sly wit, and you know they can make you laugh. possibly too honest, but satirical at the same time, their responses lack direction. maybe you know there's character in there, willing to share what they know. adventurous, maybe, and even enjoys a thrill.
  • Jim(s): their dry yet snarky comments add to a conversation. they've got facts, who know if they're true. you know the duo comes as a package, and you're willing to accept full force their attitudes, even if they are somewhat solemn
8

seventeen × al1 tracklist posters

i went to search google for a list of US presidents of the 20th century because i don’t know shit and one of the autocompleted searches was “presidents of the 20th century and their accomplishments” and i was like… that’s easy, JFK went to buffalo wild wings

Rebecca Sugar, Kimberly Brooks and some other Crewniverse members went to meet with a kid (username is The Amazing Axolotl on Google+) as part of a Make a Wish. I’m very glad that The Amazing Axolotl was able to experience this and I hope they’re doing okay. Here is a link to their profile! (it does contain spoilers for Wanted as they were able to watch it early).

Reminder that there is a fun version of ‘The Return’ out there dubbed by The Amazing Axolotl and Kimberly Brooks. :’)

This was drawn by Aleth Romanillos (Character Designer) and it seems to be Jasper’s semi-corrupted form, like Centipeetles! You can see that she has the same sharp, spiky teeth Jasper had when she was fully corrupted. Though her eyes are fully back.

Here we see that Jasper’s redemption is something Rebecca actually wants and is something she considers a spoiler to talk about.

Aww!!!!!  :)

Family Trip

20m, last year my Father had to visit Spain where another company wanted to merge with his. Having been on the rocks with my Mother at the time he thought it would be best to bring her and myself with him. Thinking this would bring the spark back into their lives he booked a five-star hotel for the month. My Mother and I were more than excited having never been there or Europe in general. We did not know what to expect at all. The moment I found out about this I began looking up things to do while there. Making a list at the very top was to hit some beaches since it was the middle of summer there. My Mother had the same idea packing a carry on bag of just bikinis and towels. When we got there it was everything you seen in movies plus so much more. The first two weeks my Father would be meeting his potential partners during the days working with their company to see how they function and stuff. So it was just my Mother and I, which was much better than their bickering all the time when he was around. Our first day we decided to find a beach so she had me look up the closest one. Telling me she can’t wait any longer to get in the water she didn’t care how nice the beach was only that it was the closest. I found a highly rated one on google and we called a taxi and went straight there. It was mid day on a Monday so there won’t be a lot of people there the driver told us. She was even more excited about this since crowded beaches aren’t relaxing. When the driver dropped us off my Mom had me pay him as she ran off to the beach. When I caught up to her standing at the edge I soon realized what she had moments before. Unlike the U.S. this was Spain and it was very very normal that this was a Nudist beach. My Mom’s face was red and not from the sun and I too started to blush as mature men and women walked around with their privates freely flopping in the wind. She smiled awkwardly at me and I shrugged telling her I had no idea this was even a real thing. She said we should just go out there in our bathing suits and act as if its a normal beach ignoring the other people since there really wasn’t anyone there. I accepted and we found a nice spot pretty much secluded to ourselves. My Mom didn’t waist any time running to the water and diving in as I laid out looking at all of the old women in the distance. I had never seen mature women completely nude in person so seeing their unfit bodies was new to me and surprisingly a turn on. I think that was because it was so new and raw that my body couldn’t say no. Once my Mom got back from the water she laid down beside me to get some sun telling me how nice the water is. I could care less about the water at this point trying to make my half hard dick unnoticeable to her. A few minutes passed and I saw two older men walking our direction. The one was fat with his stomach completely overshadowing his dick and the other very average. They came straight over to us and began talking to us. Unable to understand Spanish my Mom told them and they repeated themselves in English for us. The average guy said, “this is a nudist beach and you must know it is very disrespectful to the rest of us that you wear your bathing suits.” Standing there with very aggressive looks they made it a point that we must either strip or leave. My Mom looked at me with a disappointed look as she tried to reason with me on why we could stay. Telling me she didn’t mind if I didn’t I then agreed. She said to the men that was fine we will strip so they can go back to enjoying themselves. They then shot me some mean looks before going away. Mom then smiled at me and said, “I guess it is no big deal seeing your mother naked”, as she untied her top straps. Watching her ample tits bounce out of the top was more than amazing having always wondered what they looked like. Stunned I never imagined they would be so amazing though. She has a thin waist from working out a lot and around 5'7" with 32DD. She then continued to take off her bottom and looked to see if I was doing them same. I froze since my dick was now hard as fuck and I feared what she would say. She seemed to notice my embarrassment and told me she will go to the water now so I could undress in private at least. Watching her walk away as her ass switched from side to side did nothing to help my problem. So I just pulled them off so those two guys wouldn’t come back. I tried to find a comfortable way to hide my dick, but nothing worked as it struck a flag pole pose. I bet if my Mom looked at it from the water she could have (not saying I am huge) it was just that obvious. A palm in the desert. Soon after she  started to come back and I decided to roll over on my stomach. I could feel her walking up from behind me and her voice call to me, “cute bald ass hun”. I couldn’t help but laugh since she was probably used to the site of my father’s hairy body. We hung out for a while like this and no matter how much time passed my dick wouldn’t go down. Buried in the sand beneath me I could feel it twitch at the sight of every naked woman passing. My mom must have figured something was up as she watched my back change from pale to crab red. Telling me she was going to take a nap she also turned over onto her stomach looking the other direction. I took advantage of this moment and rolled over feeling the sand stuck to my chest and stomach. I decided to head to the water thinking it might be best to cool down my manhood. As I walked up to the water it was super cold on my feet so I took my time getting in. This was long enough for a couple of mature women to approach me asking if I was alone. Watching as their eyes flashed from my dick to my face I knew they were after a young eager guy like me. Feeling flattered they were so flirtatious I played along to see what would happen. They were both easily in their 50’s with bodies to match. Tear drop breasts and average aged bodies I never thought I would find them attractive until now. Must be a mixture of curiosity and hormones. This did nothing to help with my manhood problem as they continued to flirt and one even gestured her hands while talking, which slightly grazed the tip. They continued to do this while asking me all about men in the States. The one even went as far as grabbing the shaft one good time giving it a slow stroke while asking if we like experienced women. I allowed this since it needed some attention anyways. We talked for a couple more minutes as they now tried to get me to come lay with them. Very tempted we were interrupted by another as my Mom come walking right up next to me. Surprise by her presence I nearly forgot I was with her. She shot dirty looks to the women who were much older than her as she took me by the hand asking me what they were talking about. I just told her they were wondering where I was from as she looked back at me knowing full well I was full of shit. She then asked if I would come back and put lotion on her back as the older women got the hint walking back to their spot. I followed my Mom to our spot where she handed me the bottle of cream. She smiled and said, “wow I never imagined my own Son would be a target for such mature women.” I told her it was nothing to worry about as I caught her eyes locked on my hard dick. Looking up she blushed and told me she could see why they were so interested. This was like gas to the fire as my dick twitched having never heard something so provocative. Hearing my own Mother say that drove me so wild I felt my dick swelling more as she glanced at it several more times. I almost busted at the thought of this all. She then laughed and said, “maybe you don’t need the cream, seems like you have enough of your own.” I then glanced down at what she was looking at to see a stream of precum pouring from my dick. Looking up at her my eyes drifted up her thick legs to her stubbly pussy then around her round tits and juicy lips. By the time I got to her eyes I could feel my dick throbbing again and more precum was surely leaking out. She saw my lust growing and then asked, “can we act as if we are not Mother and Son for just today?” I nodded my head slowly unable to speak as she crawled closer reaching out for my dick while keeping eye contact. Feeling her hand grab it drove me insane as she bent down putting it straight into her mouth. I collapsed as she took my length. Swallowing my dick like I have never had it sucked before she was so passionate. I couldn’t believe what was happening as she cupped my balls with her hand and swirled her tongue around my tip. She told me that it has been nearly a year since she has done this with my father and much longer since she had sex. The sound of that word was like lightning through my body. She crawled on top of me and lined my dick up with her pussy. I could feel it dripping wet as she slipped my tip past her lips. My heart slammed as I zoned out on her. She slowly slid it in sitting down on it as I could feel inside of her. It was amazing how tight she was and no surprise since she works out so much and hasn’t been taken by a man in such a long time. I am not going to lie all of the energy passing through me was so overwhelming that I couldn’t last more than a minute before I had to come. She pulled me out and stroked me as I came all over my stomach and her hand. I never came so much and she never seen so much come as she told me this laughing with excitement. Squeezing the last few drops out she complimented me on how hard it still was. I then asked her is she still wanted to continue and oh did she! Climbing on top of me without another word she started riding me again this time much harder. The cum was now spilling off of my sides as she bounced around. She even laid down on top of me rubbing her huge tits all over my chest covering herself in my cum. When she rose back up I could see strings of my sticky cum band from our bodies as she rubbed it into her tits. She was wild and going crazy as she then slid her fingers into her mouth tasting me. I could feel her pussy tighten when she did this as she began to come on my dick. Grinding harder now she moaned with her finders in her mouth while her other hand slid across my stomach only to scoop up more cum to taste. Feeling her pussy surging she came and I couldn’t help but cum with her. Trying to warn her it was far too late I unloaded inside of her. I am not sure if she knew so I kept my mouth shut scared she might flip. When she finished she looked down at me with a bright eyed smile and said, “come let go get clean in the water”. I followed her down to the water where she and I washed the cum from out bodies. I was so happy to see how cool she was about what just happened. We left the beach soon after and spent the rest of the night with my Father. Every day after while my Father was working we went back to the beach and continued our fun as a couple. In the end my Mom convinced my Dad this trip saved their marriage so he made the deal and we now spend half the year in Spain. 


10

yunho & taemin

2

from a mountain in the middle of the cabins // panic! at the disco

anonymous asked:

Do you have any headcanons on SidLink?

oh geez, I’m so bad at headcanons haha!

here are a few;
-sidon is the big spoon always
-holding hands is their favorite activity
-height difference but sidon loves lifting link around and link loves every minute of it
-link likes to eat a lot so having the prince of the zoras means trying an endless amount of new food 
-they both like to swim race each other?? (so lame jfc)
-link goes crazy for his smile but same for sidon like when he sees link smile after making food he can’t help but blush
-HOLDING HANDS IS THEIR FAVORITE ACTIVITY

how did I get so far into this ship I was blushing while typing this help