and we did princess bride once

Beautiful - Heathers Genderbend au lyrics

So to answer some questions. Yes I will be posting genderbent versions of the lyrics. Yes you can suggest lines for lyrics I haven’t posted yet. No you can’t ask me to change lyrics I’ve already posted. However if you spot a typo you can tell me about it.

Anyway here’s Beautiful.

Keep reading

“Wonderful”  from Screamers (BBS Heathers AU version of “Beautiful”)

(There a lot of cameos in this one by YouTubers not from the BBS gang and a couple who aren’t YouTubers at all [ie. Kelly and Amy] if any of you are confused, just ask me, I’ll let you know who’s who.)

Evan:

“September 1st, 1989… 

Dear Diary, I like to believe that I’m a good person. That I see the good in everyone. But here we are, first day of senior year! and I look around at these people I’ve known all my life, and I ask myself…what fucking happened?“ 

Various YTbers and other people: 

Freak! (Ethan) 

Slut! (Amy) 

Sellout! (Pewds)

Bug eyes! (iDubbz) 

Poser! (Will {DAGames}) 

Lardass! (Panda) 

Evan:

We were so tiny, 

happy and shiny, 

playing tag and getting chased. 

Various YTbers and others: 

Freak! (Jack) 

Slut! (Wiishu) 

Loser! (Wade) 

Shortbus! (Daithi) 

Evan:

Singing and clapping, 

laughing and napping, 

baking cookies, eating paste. 

Various and others: 

Bull-dyke! (Minx) 

Stuck-up! (JennaMarbles) 

Hunchback! (Ian and Anthony) 

Evan: 

Then we got bigger. 

That was the trigger, 

Like the Huns invading Rome- 

runs into someone Sorry! 

Welcome to my school, 

This ain’t no high school: 

This is the Thunderdome. 

Hold your breath and count the days, we’re graduating soon. 

Various and others: 

White trash!

Evan: 

College will be paradise If I’m not killed by June! 

But I know, I know, life can be wonderful. 

I pray, I pray for a better way. 

If we changed back then, we could change again. 

We could be wonderful… 

(Mark knocks Lui to the floor.)

Lui: 

Ow! 

Evan: 

Just not today. 

Hey, are you okay? 

Lui:

Get away, nerd. 

Various and others: 

Freak!

Slut! 

Cripple! 

Hetro! (Aaron) 

Hetro! (John) 

Hetro! (Danny) 

Evan: 

Things will get better 

soon as my letter comes from Harvard, Duke, or Brown. 

Wake from this coma, 

take my diploma, 

then I can blow this town. 

Dream of my ivy-covered walls 

and smoky French cafes… 

(Evan jostles Brian.) 

Brian: 

Watch it! 

Evan: 

Scowls Fight the urge to strike a match and send this dump ablaze! 

(Brian upends Evan’s lunch tray.) 

Brian: 

smirks Ooooops. 

Evan: 

Brian Terrorizer. Third year a linebacker, and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and BEING A HUGE DICK. 

Brian: 

What did you say to me, ya dick? 

Evan: 

… Nothing. 

Evan & Various and others:

But I know, I know, I know… 

Life can be wonderful. 

I pray, I pray, I pray 

For a better way. We were kind before; we can be kind once more. 

We can be wonderful… 

(Brock approaches.) 

Evan: 

Agh!… Hey Brocky. 

Brock: 

smiles Hey. 

(Brock helps Evan pick up his tray.) 

Evan: 

Brock Moosnuckle. My best friend since diapers. 

Brock: 

We on for movie night? 

Evan: 

Yeah, you’re on Jiffy Pop detail. 

Brock: 

I rented "The Princess Bride.”  

Evan: 

Again? Don’t you have it memorized by now? 

Brock: 

What can I say? I’m a sucker for a happy ending. 

Ohm: 

Brock Moosnuckle! Bright load coming throoooough! 

(Ohm knocks the tray from Brock’s hands.)

Evan: 

scowls Ohm Wrecker. Quarterback. He is the smartest guy on the football team…Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf. (Furious, to Ohm) Hey! Pick that up right now! 

Ohm: 

I’m sorry, wiener head, are you actually talking to me? 

Evan: 

Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend. You’re a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant. 

Ohm: 

… You have a zit right there… 

Evan & Various and others: (Variously) 

Evan: Dear diary: 

why… 

(MatPat) Why do they hate me? 

(Ken) Why don’t I fight back? 

(Ohm) Why do I act like such a creep? 

(Evan: Why…

(Cry) Why won’t he date me? 

(Brian) Why did I hit him? 

(Dan and Phil) Why do I cry myself to sleep? 

(Evan: Why…)

Various and others: 

Somebody hug me! 

Somebody fix me! 

Somebody save me! 

Send me a sign, God! 

Give me some hope here! 

Something to live for! 

(The Screamers enter.) 

Various and others: 

Ah!… Tyler, Marcel, and Craaaaig! 

Evan: 

Then there’s the Screamers. They float above it all. 

Various and others: 

(Repeating.) I love Tyler, Marcel, and Craaaaig. 

Evan: 

Craig Thompson. Head cheerleader. His dad’s loaded - he sells engagement rings. 

Various and others: 

I hate Tyler, Marcel, and Craaaaig! 

Evan: 

Marcel Basically. Runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but he is black, so there’s something going for him. 

Various and others: 

I want Tyler, Marcel, and Craaaaig! 

Evan: 

And Tyler Wildcat. The Almighty. 

Various and others: 

I need Tyler, Marcel, and Craaaaig… 

Evan: 

He is the biggest dick. They are solid Teflon - never bothered, never harassed. I would give anything to be like that. 

Droidd: 

I’d like to be their boyfriend. 

Various and others: 

That would be wonderful… 

MissusMae: 

If I sat at their table, guys would notice me. 

Various and others: 

So wonderful… 

Brock:

I’d like them to be nicer. 

Various and others: That would be wonderful…

Kelly:

I’d like to kidnap a Screamer and photograph him naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave him tied up for the rats! 

(Evan enters the boys’ bathroom. Tyler and Craig are watching Marcel vomit into a toilet.) 

Tyler:

rolls eyes Grow up, Marcel. Bulimia is so ‘87. 

Craig: 

Maybe you should see a doctor, Marcel. 

Marcel: 

Yeah, Craig, maybe I should. 

Mr. McQuaid: 

Ah, Tyler and Craig. 

(Marcel vomits.) 

… and Marcel. Perhaps you didn’t hear the bell over all the vomiting. You’re late for class. 

(Evan scribbles on a piece of paper.) 

Tyler: 

fake look of concern Marcel wasn’t feeling well. We’re helping him. 

Mr. McQuaid: 

Not without a hall pass you’re not. A week’s detention. 

Evan: 

Actually, Mr. McQuaid, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee. 

Mr. McQuaid: 

grits teeth I see you’re all listed. Hurry up and get where you’re going.

Tyler: 

grabs note and looks at it in surprise This is an excellent forgery. glares at Evan Who the fuck are you? 

Evan: 

Evan, uh, Vanoss. I crave a boon. 

Tyler: 

eyes narrow What boon? 

Evan: 

Let me sit at your table at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary. If people think you guys tolerate me, they’ll leave me alone…Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips and absence notes. 

Marcel: 

perks up and looks at Evan over the toilet bowl gets up and walks over How about prescriptions? 

Tyler: 

Shut up, Marcel. 

Marcel: 

Sorry, man. 

(Tyler inspects Evan’s face.) 

Tyler: 

What the hell? For a greasy little nobody, you have good bone structure? 

Craig: 

nods And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I’d have matching halves. That’s very important. 

Marcel: 

Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds. 

(Evan blushes a bit as the Screamers chuckle) 

Tyler: 

And ya know, ya know, ya know? This could be wonderful. 

Craig: 

Mascara? 

Tyler: 

shakes head Maybe some lip gloss, and we’re on our way. Get this boy some blush; and Craig, I need your brush. Let’s make him wonderful. 

Craig: 

Let’s make him wonderful… 

Marcel: 

Let’s make him wonderful. 

Tyler: 

Make him wonderful… 

Okay? 

Evan: 

Okay! 

(Another day, another hellish lunch) 

Ohm: 

Out of my way geek! 

Kelly: 

I don’t want any trouble - 

Brian: 

You’re gonna die at 3 pm! 

Tyler Oakley and Connor Franta: 

Don’t you dare touch me! Get away, pervert! 

Kelly: What’d I ever do to them? 

Various and others: 

Who could survive this? 

I can’t escape this! 

I think I’m dying! 

Mr. McQuaid: 

Who’s the new Screamer? 

(The Screamers enter again…) 

Various and others: 

Whoa. Tyler, Marcel, Craaaaig… 

Connor Franta: 

And… someone! 

Various and others:

Tyler, Marcel, Craaaaig… 

Chilled and Ze: 

And a babe! 

Various and others: 

Tyler, Marcel, Craig… 

Brock: 

Evan Vanoss?! 

Various and others: 

Ev'n Vanoss? Ev'n Vanoss? Ev'n Vanoss?!

(The Screamers part, revealing a smoking hot Evan who has been given a make-over.) 

Evan & Various and others: 

(Variously.) 

Evan: 

And ya know,

ya know, ya know life can be wonderful. 

You hope, you dream, you pray, and you get your way! 

Ask me how it feels 

looking like hell on wheels… 

My God, it’s wonderful!

I might be wonderful 

And when you’re wonderful… 

It’s a beautiful fuckin’ day! 

Various and others: Tyler… Evn Vanoss! 

Tyler! 

Marcel! 

Craaaaig…Evn Vanoss! 

Evan: 

jumps on top of the nearest table Evn Vanoss! Evn Vanoss! 

Various and others: Evn Vanoss! Evn Vanoss! 

rules: tag nine people that you’d like to know better! (thanks to @buracudabruins for tagging me!)

name: Carolyn

star sign: taurus

average hours of sleep:  6ish                                

last thing i googled: how to fix my printer

favorite fictional character: Westley from the Princess Bride

what are you wearing right now?: t-shirt and shorts

when did you start this blog?: january???

do i run any more blogs?: yeah my main is @potatowithasoul. y’all should follow for memes and dogs. also @flowbros and i run @thesphl (but we both kinda suck at posting and answering asks and stuff so that’s why it’s dead. we’ll try to get better at it once the season starts but no promises)

do i get a lot of asks: no but y’all should talk to me bc i’m lonely af

so i’m just gonna tag 9 mutuals that i see (y’all don’t have to do it if you don’t want to): @flowbros​ (you better do this bud or you’re gonna need to find a new roommate) @fuckleafs @jakegardnr @mountain-rielly @subbanator @zachwazowski @snarkylarky @dtbrown28 @mystupidlovesongs