and wait for all of this to blow over

don’t hold yer breath (it’ll make you blue)

they’re all stranded in the street
wave their hands and wipe their feet
blow a kiss to all they meet
and i just stand here
knowing nothing

we’re Amerikkans, oh what luck
screw the pooch and fuck the duck
ignore the fools becoming stuck
just pay the piper
what you owe him

dance the dance and sing the tune
it will all be over soon
coming in the month of moon
relax, you’ll feel a
little pressure

drink your blood from your own glass
take a piss and wipe yer ass
waiting for the pain to pass
don’t hold yer breath
it’ll make you blue

Sometimes the customer is wrong for unrelated reasons.

Due to the well of my friends’ “def not an axe murderer” date recommendations drying up, I have turned to that most sacred of modern relationship institutions: online dating. As a very busy person trying to get it in with other very busy people, I prize honestly and directness above all else when it comes to profile creation. I include full body shots in my photos, try to minimize the use of MySpace angles in selfies, and write at the very top of the summary/caption/profile that I am fat. Not “curvy,” not “thick,” not “lots to love”–I’m f*cking fat. I’m not ashamed of it, but I also known that weight is a dealbreaker for lots of people. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

About a year ago I met “Evan” via Tinder. We exchanged friendly messages for a few hours one night and agreed to meet up for drinks the following evening. I waited for a full hour past the designated time, and just as I was getting up to leave, the texts started rolling in.

“I can see you sweating from here.” “How long does it take you to roll out of bed every morning?” “Is there an earthquake or are you just getting up for more pretzels?”

Really idiotic, juvenile shit. Four separate numbers, commenting on things like my clothes, which clued me in that the senders were nearby. This went on for 15 minutes before I finally saw Evan, trying to hide in at a corner table and giggling with a group of buddies. I made eye contact, saw that he saw me, and then walked out. The texts kept up until I blocked the numbers a few hours later.

I ran into Evan about 3 weeks later. We got on the same elevator, and he tried really hard at being super interested in the emergency phone instructions. I just confronted him, and he admitted it was just some “game” that him and his friends play. He knew I was fat before agreeing to meet up; they all did, because that’s what they do. Match up with fat women, then either ghost them or “troll” them at the meet-up. It was also kinda obvious he’d never seen any consequences from this bullshit, as he was sweating pretty hard and looked more humiliated than I felt. I just said whatever and walked out, expecting to never see him again.

About a month ago, some local foodie wrote a great review of the restaurant I own, and we’ve been slammed ever since. In the past, I stayed mostly in the kitchen, but I’ve been doing more and more front-of-house stuff lately, and Valentine’s Day I was working a bit of a split between the two.

I saw Evan just as he was pushing in his date’s chair. My name isn’t on the restaurant, and he didn’t see me. I checked the section up at the hostess stand and saw that one of my favorite old-timers, Nan, was going to be his waitress. I went to the bar till, took out $400, put it in her hands, and said, “This is going to be your only table for the rest of the night. You are going to make this the worst date he has ever been on.”

She spilled every single thing she brought out to the table, all over him. I was waiting for him to blow up on Nan, but he bottled it up, obviously trying to make a good impression on his date. She seemed like a perfectly lovely lady; I told Nan to make sure everything was good for her and terrible for Evan.

She poured ice water on his d*ck. She smacked the back of his head with the edge of a tray. Spilled soup on his shirt. Dropped every fork he asked for. I personally oversalted his food, used the shit liquor for his drinks, used flour instead of sugar on his dessert. To be honest, I don’t know why he didn’t just walk out. He must have really wanted to f*ck this woman.

Finally, he cracked. Demanded Nan find the manager and bring her out. I was only too happy to emerge from the kitchen with my chef’s coat and say what, I’m not ashamed to admit, I’d been planning out all night.

“I would have said hi earlier, but I didn’t want the earthquake to disturb your dinner.”

I will savor the look on Evan’s face for the rest of my life.

He was a little too flummoxed to explain, so I pulled a chair up to the table and introduced myself to his date, Amanda. Told her how I met Evan. Showed her some fun old messages. Then I told gave her a voucher for a free meal on her next visit and told Evan to get the f*ck out and never come back.

He deleted his Tinder profile.

OK BUT LIKE

IMAGINE RED PLAYING AS KEITH’S ULTIMATE WINGMAN

BECAUSE NOW THAT LANCE PILOTS RED, THEY CAN TALK AND SHIT

AND RED IS TOTALLY AWARE OF KEITH’S BIG CRUSH ON LANCE

Keith was too afraid to admit his feelings to Lance or even try to get him to notice him, but Red on the other hand is like [rubbing paws together] my time has come

Red: [while being flown by Lance] Keith’s eyes sure are pretty aren’t they
Lance: [sighs] yeah…. they are….
Lance:
Lance
: hey wAIT A MINUTE-


Red: so, i noticed you are interested in looking for a person to settle down with after all this is over…
Lance: oh yeah, totally! i’m sure there’s somebody out there waiting for someone as handsome as me to come sweep them off their feet~
Red: really now? do you have anybody in mind yet?
Lance: well-
Red: maybe someone with dark hair and dark eyes? someone just a little shorter than you in height?? someone who’s name starts with the letter K????


[Lance and Keith somehow get stranded on a moon and get attacked by Galra drones, Red comes in and blows up the drones] 

Lance: Sweet! Looks like our ride is here, time to head back to base. let’s go!
Red: [looks between Lance and Keith]
Red: [turns and takes off, leaving Lance and Keith behind]
Lance: w-wait- where- WHERE ARE YOU GOING?? COME BACK!
Keith: [internal screaming bc he knows what Red is doing]

I never really thought that friend break-ups were a thing. Yeah I’ve heard people say ‘we used to be friends’ or ‘we don’t talk anymore’ but I’ve never actually pondered the ending of a friendship.

I’ve witnessed girls going through breakups, and they always talk about the same things. The way one person stops showing interest,
how they talk less, fight about stupid things, stop feeling the spark. I’ve never felt that before. Never watched a person gradually lose interest in me, text me less, stop wanting to spend every second with me.

Never until now. And god, it f*cking hurts.

Who would have thought my first heartbreak would come from my longest standing friendship? But that’s the way life works, isn’t it? You watch the one good thing you have slowly slip away until you aren’t even sure why but suddenly it’s almost out of your grasp and there’s nothing you can do but wait.

So you feel yourself waiting. Waiting for the texts to stop all together, waiting for the hangouts to become a thing of the past. Waiting for that final blow. But nothing could hurt more than the realisation that there will be no 'final blow’. Because it’s already over. And you’re not exactly sure when, or how, but you know if you stop trying now then everything will cease.

And who can you blame but yourself? And do you know what the worst part is? You can’t even be mad at the other person, because what have they done except lose interest in you? It sucks when all you want is to be by their side, to call them and text them and see them everyday, but they’re done with you. And how can you be any more than you are now, I guess you’ll just never be enough.

So you’re left mourning the end of a friendship, without even truly understanding what’s been lost.

And now your heart is f**king broken but who would even understand because are friend break-ups even a f*cking thing?

an incomplete list of lines in aftg that will always fuck me up

“Did you know I’ve never been skiing?”

“I told her what would happen if she raised her hand again. She had no right to look so surprised.”

“His father. Your coach.”

“Who said ‘please’ that made you hate the word so much?” “I did.” / “I was seven,” Andrew said. “I believed him.”

“If it means losing you, then no.”

“Go on, tell me again how I’m too unbalanced to understand normal brotherly affection and love. Tell me this is natural.”

“Good,” Neil said quietly. “So now you understand why Andrew killed your mother.”

“Do you honestly think that if I wanted to kill someone, whether it was myself or someone else, that I would fail so spectacularly at it so many times?”

“Neil,” Wymack said, “between you and me, I don’t think you’ve ever been fine.”

“I’m tired of being nothing.”

“Would it kill you to let something in?” “It almost did last time.”

“Neil? Are you all right?” Neil smiled. It felt like it tore his face open. “No. No, I’m not.”

“Thank you,” he finally said. He couldn’t say he meant thanks for all of it: the keys, the trust, the honesty, and the kisses. Hopefully Andrew would figure it out eventually. “You were amazing.”

“Everything I needed, you already gave me. You let me stay.”

“You are a Fox,” Andrew said, like it was that simple, and maybe it was.

“Wait, he chose Neil over you? That sounds a little serious for a fling, don’t you–” Nicky glanced at Neil’s blank face and faltered. “News to you too, huh?”

“That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.”

“I won’t be like them. I won’t let you let me be.”

“Stay,” Andrew said, and leaned down to kiss him.

This was everything he wanted, everything he needed, and Neil was never letting go.

→ Paper Doll (pt. 1)

Originally posted by sugutie

☆ pairing → Jungkook x Reader

☆ genre → idol+singer-songwriter!au, drama, slight angst

 warning sexual themes with smut in the next chapters, mentions of past unhealthy relationship 

☆ word count   → 2.1k

summary   → When the nation’s little sister, IU, gets into a huge scandal, your agency seizes the opportunity to thrust you into that now vacant spotlight. Your self-composed song Paper Doll becomes an overnight sensation, and soon people are itching to find out who was the one who broke your heart. All hell breaks loose once netizens discover that you used to date popular idol, Jeon Jungkook. Little do they know that it wasn’t him who left the relationship unscathed –  it was you.

alternatively: a story on the consequences of a hit break-up song

i | ii 


a/n  → so basically this is me being coerced into writing jjk smut 
edit: pt i is more of a prologue



[+11,435; -2,003] this really breaks my image of him… proves how you can’t judge someone from their personality on camera

[+9,386; -1,983] all this time he was pretending to be super innocent haha all those stupid fangirls throwing money at him blindly must be going crazy

[+5,903; -1,234] i mean everyone goes through break-ups, but he was cosplaying as an innocent guy who was scared of skinship with girls all these years.. lmao he’s super shamel–

The words on the screen in front of him all blurred and bled into one big stain. He quickly scrolled through the hundreds and hundreds of comments, each more condemning than the last. A steady pressure was building in his ears, until the only thing he could see or feel were the accusations of a faceless crowd, all jeering at him loudly, fingers pointed.

It was as if his entire life flashed in front of his eyes right then, and he could suddenly recall every inconsequential and significant thing that had shaped his life the past seven years – the hours and hours spent in front of the mirror rehearsing the same steps over and over again, the taste of soggy ramen Hoseok hyung had let overcook last week, the screams of fans, the sound of his alarm clock, the look on your face when you told him it was over. There was no chronology to the kaleidoscope of fleeting glimpses of his past.

“What,” he breathed, hands shaking, eyes wide and disbelieving as his phone fell with a clatter on the table. He desperately wanted to ignore reality, but the stares that were all focused on him kept him grounded to the present.

Of course his first scandal would be linked to you.

Keep reading

hamilton ( cut songs/workshop versions ) sentence starters !!

the reality is not a pretty picture.
tell him to stay home!
you have invented a new kind of stupid.
i begged you to take a break, you refused to.
you’re the only enemy you ever seem to lose to!
i look at you and think ‘god what have we done with our lives, and what did it get us?’
i’m not here for you.
 i will choose her happiness over mine every time. 
she died. she’s gone. ❞
 she changed my life. she made my life worthwhile. 
 sometimes it seems that’s all we do. 
 you and i will build a strong foundation. 
 you’ll blow us all away, someday. 
 just apologize, we have worthier pursuits! 
that’s when i realized this was not a game. 
 i want the world to know what i intended to do. 
 he must have been so scared. 
 i never had his instinct for self preservation. 
 it’s not in his political interest to kill me. 
 god, i can’t wait to see her again. 
 bitch, please! you wouldn’t know what i’m doing! 
 the line’s behind me, i crossed it again. 
 you fat mother f– ! 
 we in the shit now, somebody’s gotta shovel it. 
 if you knock me down i get the fuck back up again. 
 you swing at my family, you better not miss. you better have another punch to throw. 
 you could let it go. 
 people will always be critical. 
 let other people be cynical. 
 you’re smiling because you know i’m right. 
 you didn’t kill him, did you? 
 were you here this whole time? 
 you don’t have to bring a gun to a knife fight. 
 you know you really ought to listen to your wife, right? 
i hope you’re happy. 
 you could have given me a word of warning. 
 shhh. haven’t you talked enough? 
 i need you by my side. 
 i have a plan, but it’s risky. 
 but i couldn’t turn my back on a nation in need. 
 PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES! 
 teach them how to say goodbye. 
the enemies i’ve made won’t have anything on me now. 

The Tree That Outsmarted Me and Punched Me in the Face

Ok so this one isn’t so much wild as it is ‘Rekina what the heck do you think you’re doing sit down this instant’ kinda deal.

Our story begins back when I worked retail.

Alrighty so quick update. The part of Saskatchewan where I live is flat. I don’t mean mildly ho hum flat I mean flat ok like the nearest slight incline(besides the dump) is nearly a fifteen minute drive. ok flat as a ruler

And because of this intense flatness we get some equally intense wind. The last few days we’ve had winds upwards of 90km (55mph) and that’s a pretty normal seen it all before kind of wind storm. Nothing out of the ordinary. But then sometimes we get even worse winds called plough winds. Now, these are sometimes hurricane force winds ok windy as all get out

These winds make a straight path across the prairies, ripping roofs off, uprooting trees, and causing general havoc ok

there’s a reason they are called plough winds they plough over everything in sight like a bull in a china shop it has zero regard for your average home or retail employee like myself

Plough winds only show their ugly faces during the summer. and in summers I worked in the garden center. 

Now, normal people would stay indoors during winds like this. Common, sesnible people would hunker down and batten down the hatches and wait for the whole thing to blow over. Not me. Not only was I at work

I was outside

That’s right folks yours truly still had to go out and water the plants in winds fast enough to shut down most cities

So there I am in my oversized rain jacket that I was practically swimming in. This thing trailed along the ground it was so big on me. I have my garden hose on and am doing my thing

First of all, do you have any idea how hard it is to water plants when the water comes out of the hose and just kinda shoots off into the distance

It’s an acquired skill to say the least k I was standing like two feet to the side of the plant I actually wanted to water

Now if that wasn’t annoying enough i also have to deal with these jerks of trees

At the back of the center is our tree selection. I’d tied them down with the full stregnth of my scout knot tying knowledge and most of them stayed secure. But there was three little jerks on the very end that would tip over, making me go and pick them up again

This happened every ten seconds.

I would go, water a plant, and then drop everyhting to pick up these stupid trees

I did this for five hours straight

Then one time while I’m picking up a fallen ash, this little apple tree gets cheeky and topples down right on top of my head.

It didn’t hurt, but those leaves are like little whips in the wind my whole face was stinging by the time I got the jerk set up right again

This tree was about to become a very big problem

See when the other trees tipped over they would politely lay in place until i could reach them, still tethered loosely to the pole. But not this apple tree oh no

Little did i know i was dealing with Houdini Incarnated into a tree.

So I’m minding my buisness watering a plant from a distance and I happen to see Houdini take the fall. Except this time something was different. This time it not only fell, but it started to roll

It had somehow jumped the little enclosure and slipped the bonds

Im still pretty chill at this point. The whole center is surrounded by a fence where could it possibily go I’ll just go get it when it hits the fence right?

Wrong.

Because I was dealing with an escape artist ok what happens next had nothing to do with me

See off in one corner we had this pile of manure right near the fence. 

This tree my little Houdini was chugging towards it at full speed, those little leaves were like sails it was just a’cruisin down aisles of bricks. It’s fine tho it’ll hit the manue and–

It hit the manure alright

It rolled up the manure pile 

and over the fence

So now The Little Tree That Could was barreling around on the highway like a phsychotic leafy bat out of hell

My first thought is if that hits someone im so fired

I scream and drop the hose and begin my pursuit because I am not getting fired over an apple tree ok no sire im going down with my dignity

So i do the only logial thing in my head

Most people would run through the open get four feet behind them and calmly make their way to the highway. Not me

I sprinted across the compound, scrambled up the manue pile, and vaulted the fence

For one glorious moment I thought I could fly.

And then I plunged downwards with a very undignified squeal.

Still I splash down into the ditch and prepare to make my heroic capture

Problem: I had just landed chest deep in slough.

For those of you lucky souls who don’t know what a slough is let me explain

A slough is what happens when stagnat water, cow crap, cow piss, and crop fertilizer mix and heat up in the sun. Doesn’t smell good.

And I just landed chest deep in the stuff. Gross doesn’t even begin to cover it

But being the trooper I am i decide I’m going to end this day on a high note and salvage my dignity

I heave myself out of the slough and take off after the tree which is dancing around the thankfully empty highway

Just one issue: Plough Winds tend to change direction

So there I am chasing this freaking apple tree around in circles and it’s winning ok every time I get close to grabbing the trunk of branch the wind throws it in another direction leaving me stumbling like a drunk moose as I try to adjust course 

This goes on for a solid twenty minutes

I’m back and forth across this highway cursing enough to make a sailor blush

And then victory is in sight my fingers graze the trunk and–

the wind stops

The base of the tree is so heavy with water that It sits straight up and whacks me across the face harder than Dwayne Johnson ever could

My momentum throws me forward, my foot catches the pot

and I sail head first into the next slough

I am now covered in disgusting, thick, sticky water and that tree is just taunting me on the road

Eventually I manage to snag the little jerk and I start dragging it back towards the compound like oh yeah who the boss? i’m the boss i caught the tree 

Just as I see  two more trees making a break for it over the fence

It was a long end of shift to say the least

I had a black eye from that tree for a week and a lovely bleeding cut on my forehead. But i caught it and I am still proud of that to this day

Whatever U Want

Summary: When Y/N finally has a few hours to herself, she decides to use her time wisely. By wisely that  means calling her favorite phone sex line  Whatever U Want.  After several different session with the sexy Ryan, she begins to think it might be her best friend Dean.

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Reader, Annie (OFC)

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Phone sex, dirty talk, female masturbation, sex toys, boners

Rated M

Word Count: 1,651

A/N: This was my submission for @notnaturalanahi Crack Challenge! Thank you again for giving me an extension.Thanks again to @impala-dreamer for beta reading my stuff!  Feedback is always welcomed I hope you enjoy!

Part Two

Originally posted by pinkriver69

Originally posted by hugs4sammy



“Dean?” You called out from your room down the hall in the bunker. You turned your head slightly, waiting to hear if he would respond to you. After you didn’t get a response from Dean you looked towards Sam’s room, the door shut. “Hey Sam!” You went silent again waiting for any kind of answer.

Letting out the breath you had been holding in, you shut your bedroom door. The two of them must have finally gone on that supply run they were bickering about this morning. Which meant you had an hour or two of alone time all for yourself! Seeing how the three of you had been crammed in a motel room for a good week, you needed a break from the testosterone. You needed some personal playtime with yourself more than ever.

Keep reading

There’s not a lot to be patriotic about as a British person. We’ve done some terrible things.

But one thing that will always, always make me so proud to be British is our absolute unfailing ability to simply brush ourselves off and continue after tragedy.

Blow up a tube train and a London city bus? People are on the tube the very next day. Waiting for busses.

Today Manchester city centre is still open for business. Signs saying ‘I love Manchester’ are all over the city.

We do not let fear break us. The blitz spirit really does live on. That’s one thing that makes me proud to be British.

To quote someone on twitter ‘Fuck terrorism, stick the kettle on.’

The 4th Episode: A Complete Johnlock Fix-It

The screen is black.  A woman’s voice cuts through.  It’s Molly’s voice.

“Forward? Or Backward?”

A blinding white light floods the darkness.  A pulsating heartbeat. 

“Backward,” sighs Sherlock.

White noise stings as scenes are replayed backward. Sherlock and John running backward.  John’s fist recoiling from Sherlock in the morgue.  The christening, backward. The birth, backward.  The plane glides into the air, tail first. Magnussen’s limp body jolts into standing position, Sherlock puts the gun back in John’s pocket. The flashdrive jumps from the fire, into John’s hand.  The gun drops, the coin falls back into Mary’s fingers. Sherlock raises from Magnussen’s floor, the blood-stained shirt turns freshly white. Mary stands across from Sherlock, gun drawn.

Roll Title Credits.

Keep reading

What’s it like to fall?, Uriel asks, eyes concerned but wary. She’s the first one to ask and the memory hits Lucifer like a brick to the gut. The darkness of the space, the blinding light of flashing stars, the cold wind that whips around his ears-
It’s like being born all over again, Lucifer laughs and locks the rest behind his teeth.

What’s it like to fall?, Azrael asks next and his voice is curious, as if he’s walking over a frozen lake waiting for the ice to break. Lucifer looks at him and wishes some of his naivety back again, the wide eyes, blowing open, the curious hitch of his voice, God on your tongue -
It’s like losing one of your limbs, Lucifer finally whispers but he’s not sure Azrael even heard it.

What’s it like to fall?, Gabriel asks when they meet, eyes determined but calm like deep rivers. His presence is as soothing as it always was and when Lucifer closes his eyes he’s almost sure he can hear the voices of his brother’s and sister’s in heaven.
It’s like a mouthful of apologies, Lucifer murmurs and loses himself to the memory just a tad longer.

What’s it like to fall?, Raphael asks with a sharp grin and his lips twisted in a haunting way. Something ugly coils inside Lucifer and he remembers Michael’s touch on his shoulder, throwing him out, the pain on his chest, the taste of blood on his tongue -
It’s like losing all hope, Lucifer snorts and ignores the sour taste in his mouth.

What’s it like to fall?, Metatron asks, voice full of fear. Lucifer wonders, for a brief second, if God is still with them, peeking over the edged shoulders of his children, waiting for the betrayal to set in again. He feels suddenly incredible tired.
It’s like becoming a monster, Lucifer answers and flinches from the burning phantom pain on his shoulders.

What’s it like to fall?, Michael asks with fire behind his eyes and his lips pressed into a thin line. Lucifer watches his brother, shoulders square and muscles tensed from clenching his hands too tight. He remembers the his wings catching fire and the reek of burned flesh in his nose, his skin in shreds on his back -
It’s like dying, Lucifer chokes and ignores the pain in his brother’s eyes.

- the story of Lucifer | r.m

anonymous asked:

get I can Zen, Yoosung, Jumin and Saeran hc on how they would be when they're in a romantic mood? like you guys are watching a movie or something and they get cuddly and kissy? sorryyyyyyyyyyy thanks. you can add vanderwood if you have room? you dont have to

No need to apologize! Haha…we’re happy to. :) we noticed Seven was the only male from the RFA not included, so we threw him in here as well. Hope you like it!


Zen:

  • You’re reading a magazine on the couch
  • He curls up against you on the couch
  • When you still don’t pay him mind, he’ll pop his head up between the book and you
  • You smile, but still try to annoy him
  • He starts pecking your cheek repeatedly
  • When you finally put your book down, hon-hon-hon
  • He teases you a bit
  • He’ll kiss you all over your face and around your mouth
  • But not on your lips
  • You get annoyed so you grab the book and put it on top of his head
  • Then finally, he laughs and kisses you

Yoosung:

  • You’re baking alone in the kitchen
  • He’s calling for you to come watch something with him on the couch
  • But you tell him to wait because you’re in the middle of things
  • He gets a bit huffy but joins you soon
  • He wraps his arms around you from behind
  • He nuzzles his face in your neck
  • It’s rather comfy until he starts talking
  • His breath tickles your neck and you squirm away
  • He gets playful, blowing raspberries
  • He places quick kisses up your neck to your cheek, tickling you more
  • Finally, you turn around to face him
  • He notices you have a little smudge of chocolate on the edge of your mouth
  • Instead of wiping it off, he goes in for a kiss
  • Only…it’s a lot longer than you realize
  • With his lips moving against yours, you forget about the cookies in the oven
  • Let’s just say they’re a little more than burned

Jumin:

  • He comes home from work after a really long day
  • You give him a quick greeting as he puts away his coat and blazer
  • He sits on the couch beside you
  • You lean into him, but nothing more
  • He notices you’re on the chatroom, so he pulls out his own phone
  • He puts a quick message: MC will be busy for the next few hours. Excuse us.
  • You barely read it already feeling Zen’s upcoming rage before Jumin slips his arms around your waist
  • You put your phone to the side
  • You can feel the warmth coming off of him, so you knew he was pretty tired
  • He starts snuggling up to you
  • You run your fingers through his hair as you two talk a little about your day
  • He’ll occasionally lean over to kiss you
  • They aren’t passionate kiss, just very soft and gentle and reassuring

Seven:

  • He drags you away from whatever you were doing, really abruptly
  • He pulls a coat on you and places a hat on your head
  • You keep asking questions, but he doesn’t answer them
  • He grabs a bunch of blankets and pillows and pulls you outside
  • You catch onto the idea when you see the hammock
  • He arranges everything really nicely before you two crawl in
  • Takes a few attempts because one of you keeps falling out
  • At first, you two are just talking softly and looking at the night sky
  • When you fall into a comfortable silence, you feel him kiss you softly on the cheek
  • You turn to face him and you two just kiss each other gently for a little while
  • He runs his fingers through your hair softly
  • After a while, you notice he stills and his breathing evens
  • You stay close while he sleeps, your limbs still tangled
  • You don’t dare to move until he wakes up or until it gets too cold

Saeran:

  • You pop on a movie and he comes in a few moments later
  • He claims he wants to watch it too, since he’s bored
  • But he has other motives
  • Gradually gets closer as the movie progresses
  • When your shoulders are touching, you can kind of tell he wants to cuddle
  • Not that he would ever initiate it
  • So, you melt into him, and he opens his arms for you to curl against him
  • He’ll just rest his lips on top of your head
  • If you look up at him, he’ll kiss you quickly on your forehead
  • When you shift to look him straight in the eye, he’ll lean in and kiss you on the lips
  • It starts out slow and sweet
  • But eventually, he’ll tilt your chin up and deepen the kiss
  • The movie is forgotten lolol 

Check out our other headcanons~ Masterlist

I’m In Love With My Best Friend – Cody Christian Imagine

Requested by Anon: Could you write an imagine where you told your sister that you have a boyfriend so she’d stop trying to set you up with guys, but now she’s coming to visit for surprise and you need a fake boyfriend during your sister’s visit so you ask Cody (your best friend) to pretendbe your boyfriend and everything seems goes right until the act stop being act?

Word Count: 3,141

Warnings: None other than Cody saying a curse word, ha. Fluff?

Author’s Note: Y/S/N = Your Sister’s Name. I did this because in previous imagines where I’ve named a sibling or best friend, some of y’all have mentioned it was weird to read your own name. So I decided to let y’all use your actual sister’s name or come up with the name yourselves if you don’t have a sister.

Also, I sneaked in a line from Gilmore Girls. I wonder if anyone can point it out.

[My Teen Wolf Master List]

Originally posted by bysamoylova

“Come on. Come on. Come on.” Y/N whispered repeatedly as the phone rang. She paced back and forth in her bedroom, hoping her best friend would answer. “Pick up the damn ph-”

The sound of her best friend’s groggy and sleepy voice interrupted her rambling. “Hello?”

“It’s about time! Why aren’t you answering your phone? I only called you like a hundred times! I could have been dying and-“

Cody noticed the nervous rush in her voice and rubbed this tired eyes. He cleared his throat before he interrupted her. "Okay, first of all I was filming all night and I just got home a couple of hours ago. Second of all, you’re obviously not dying so this better be good, because as much as I love ya, you know I get cranky when I don’t get enough sleep. Lastly, breathe. Just breathe,” he inhaled and exhaled, which Y/N mimicked, making her feel a little better.

“Now tell me what’s wrong?” He asked groggily yet genuinely concerned at the same time.

“I lied to my sister,” she started as she finally sat on the edge of her bed.

“About…?” He trailed.

“That I had a boyfriend. I only did it so she would stop setting me up with all these guys she knew. I thought my plan would work,” she continued.

Cody hummed, following along with her story with his eyes closed. “I remember you told me that. So, what’s the problem?" 

"The idiot decided to surprise me by coming into town without any warning! Now she’s on her way here, because not only does she miss me, but also because she wants to meet my boyfriend of two months…” she trailed for a second, silently praying Cody would agree to the favor she was about to ask him. “So, I was hoping if you could come over and play the part.”

Cody’s eyes flew wide open. He heard what she said but he still had a hard time believing it. “Come again?” He asked, needing confirmation.

“I need you to be my fake boyfriend for my sister,” she explained as she fiddled with the hem of her shirt nervously. “I promise you, I’ll get you a gift card for Chipotle that will last you for at least three months,” she bargained knowing Chipotle was Cody’s weakness.

Cody quickly sat up, “I’m getting in the shower right now and I’ll meet you at your place.”

Y/N smiled widely. “Seriously, you are the best. Thank you so much.”

“Hey, you know I’d do anything for you,” Cody smiled back even though she couldn’t see him. “What time will your sister get there?“ 

"She said she was about 2 hours away,” she answered.

“Alright, I’ll get there before she does,” he said as he walked into his bathroom. “Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t forget the gift card,” Cody smiled as Y/N laughed.

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ageisia  asked:

Ah, I forgot to give you a prompt, didn't I? Can I have something where Sam, Steve and Bucky all get deaged together shortly post CACW and Team Iron Man has to deal with their prepubescent shenanigans and their feelings? Like 10-12 years old and they're all little shits. Especially Steve to Tony after Tony guesses that Steve is 8, which is a mortal insult when you are 11.

I am so sorry for the lateness of this! I meant to answer it last weekend but I was still in Sinus Haze at that point. :D I had a lot of fun with this one! 

***

“They were supposed to be here for the signing of the revised accords,” Tony said.

“And Barnes was supposed to turn himself in to SHIELD,” Rhodey added.

T'Challa and Tony both looked at him, Tony’s eyebrows rising.

“What? He killed your parents, I don’t get to be mad about that?” Rhodey asked.

“Sure, but if you’re as mad as I was you also get to be in some pretty intense therapy for like a year,” Tony said, turning back to the glass window, which looked in on three children in the holding room at the Avengers compound.

“We came through an electrical storm in the jet on the way here,” T'Challa said. “When we came out of it…” he gestured at the children. Steve, an incredibly tiny, frail child, was wrapped in a blanket. They’d found clothing that would more or less fit Sam and Bucky, who looked to be on the verge of puberty, but Steve was stuck in an oversized shirt and a blanket he’d tied around his toast-rack chest like a sarong.

“You know how I know this is magic and not science?” Tony asked.

“Wanda wasn’t affected?” Rhodey ventured.

“Neither was I,” T'Challa pointed out. “We think because I was in the shielded cockpit.”

“No, I know this is magic because whoever did this to him gave him a teeny tiny arm,” Tony said, pointing at Bucky’s child-sized prosthetic, as menacing in its own way as the real adult thing.

“I think I can fix it,” Wanda said. Her eyes were glowing red, and the air was sort of dancing around her. Tony wondered how much she’d been practicing since she’d arrived in Wakanda. “But I’m worried about going in there alone.”

“For them or for you?” Tony asked, and she looked – startled, like she’d forgotten he could care about people. That was going to sting for a while.

“Both. There are three of them, one of whom has a metal arm,” she said. “And I need someone to take me down if I lose it, which…is usually Steve’s job.”

“I can go,” Tony said. “The repulsors bracelets are subtle, won’t freak the kids out. And I can distract them if you want to work on them one at a time.”

“Do you have any experience with children at all?” Rhodey asked.

“I’ll have you know I dealt very handily with the last twelve-year-old I knew,” Tony replied loftily.

***

Wanda was sitting on the floor, trying to lure Sam away from the smartphone he was playing with, when she heard Steve yell: “I’m not eight!”

“Hey, calm down, I was guessing,” Tony said, and Wanda looked over just in time to see Steve stand up, his terrifyingly thin little hands balled into fists. Tony, who was crouched down to talk to him and Bucky (probably mostly Steve; she couldn’t imagine Tony didn’t still have some…anger issues surrounding Bucky), held up his hands.

“I’m eleven! Just because I’m little doesn’t mean I’m a baby!” Steve insisted. Bucky was watching them both warily.

“Nobody’s saying you’re a baby,” Tony replied soothingly. “But – ”

“Don’t talk to me like I am one!” Steve said, and Wanda flinched as he swung his arm. He was going to break his hand on Tony’s face –

She watched, awestruck, as Tony reacted. He’d had all his weight on the balls of his feet, legs bent, body balanced over his knees; when Steve’s fist connected (barely) he threw himself backwards, sprawling and then somersaulting – gracelessly – and collapsing spreadeagled on the ground. Steve looked at his own fist, wonderingly.

“He’s down! Get ‘im!” Bucky yelled, the first words he’d said, and he sprang for Tony, landing hard on his chest. Tony let out a whuff, then curled on one side as Steve started ineffectually kicking him. Sam ran over to help Bucky pin Tony down, and Wanda got up to make sure they weren’t hurting him, but Tony was grinning as he hid his face and curled up his body against Steve’s snowflake-like blows.

Eventually Steve flopped down with the others, breathlessly giving up his assault, and Tony lay still underneath the three boys, grinning up at Wanda as she stood over them.

“Okay, you vicious little weasels,” he said, and Wanda waited for all three boys to take offense, but none of them bothered. “You are meant to be big grown adult males who could actually break my bones. Wanda needs to fix you up, put you back the way you were.”

He sat up, dislodging Sam, and then kicked his legs gently to shove Bucky off as well. Bucky clung on grimly with his metal hand around Tony’s ankle, but most of him slithered away.

“Do I really grow up big?” Steve asked, and Tony pulled him into the gentlest of headlocks, one huge palm resting on Steve’s strawlike hair.

“Bigger than everyone else,” he assured him.

“Bigger than BUCKY?”

Tony leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Even Sam grows up bigger than Bucky.”

“That’s a lie!” Bucky insisted, getting to his feet. “Make me grow up first!” he insisted to Wanda. “So I can prove it!”

“No, me first!” Steve yelled, which meant Sam insisted too, and suddenly instead of three sullen little shits refusing to obey her, she had three eager little boys all jostling to be first.

“You did this,” she said to Tony, who shrugged and rubbed at his ankle, which was starting to show a bruise where Bucky had clung to it.

“I don’t know a ton about kids but I know a lot about managing humans,” he replied.

Invincible

(drabble request from @festus14)

The first time Danny blew his ghost form to smithereens, Tucker was understandably terrified. The ghost fight had been progressing as normal (meaning Danny dishing out more bad puns and jokes than actual damage to his opponent) when there had been a huge blast of light and energy - and Danny had vanished. Although Tucker had canvassed the area all night, he found nothing more than spattered bits of ectoplasm and tiny flutters of black fabric.

It was just before dawn that Tucker finally came to the devastating conclusion that his friend was no more. He went home and laid on his bed, spending most of the day locked in his room staring at the ceiling, trying to decide how best to explain to the Fentons what had happened to their son.

Danny stumbled out of the portal, blinking and confused and mercifully whole, just before supper - solving Tucker’s dilemma. Both boys chalked it up to luck and decided to not think about it any more than absolutely necessary.

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The Only Marks You Need.

could you do a Peter Pan one where Felix gets mad at [yn] and slaps her bruising her cheek and Peter finds out and fluffy smut after? thanks xoxo

Requested by

dil-howelters-left-ball

TRIGGER WARNING: The following imagine will contain physical abuse/ assault.

WARNING: The following imagine will contain minor graphic sexual material. 

[yn] = your name

It was supposed to be full on smut, but I’m not completely comfortable writing smut yet… Sorry, I know everyone wants it, I want it too! But I’m not there yet. :)

___________________________________

I wiped the tear that slide down my face as I stood over the steaming pot. I flinched when I touched my cheek. It hurt and it felt like it wouldn’t stop hurting for a while. “[yn]!” Felix’s voice shouted as I chopped up some carrots. I turned around to look at Felix. “What is it?” I asked confused, his face was red and his nostrils were flared. “One of the lost boys said they saw you take some bread.” he sneered as he stepped closer and I scrunched my face. “I took bread for-” I started but was cut short by the slap of Felix’s hand. The impact made me stumble and I was too in shock to say or do anything. Felix grabbed my shoulders and got in my face. “If I hear you're taking any more food, it’ll be more than a slap” he hissed and pushed me to the ground. 

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Another Heathers AU

Mystreet Heather AU (Kinda)

It’s been a while since Katelyn last hosted a play, and she wants to do one again.

Since she is total Heathers trash, she wants to do that.

Problem is, none of the girls want to play lead roles this time.

So she has to make some changes, making all the lead roles guys.

Since Heather was the 15th popular girls name, and William was the boys name, she re-names it ‘Williams’

She wants to give the roles to people who share traits with the roles, either physically or mentally.

And since she doesn’t have a lot of money, she decides to cast her friends.

Vincent(Victoria): Wonder over wonder, Zane out of all people got the role.
Because he has dark hair and can sing pretty damn good.
At first he doesn’t want to be the lead role, and it takes a hell lot of convincing from Aphmau to get him to do it.

J.D.: Messy black hair, wears dark clothes, high school bad boy.
Gene gets the role.

William (Heather) Chandler: Garroth.
Because he’s blond.

William (Heather) Duke: Dark hair, Green eyes.
Katelyn called Jeffory and he took the role.

William (Heather) McNamara: Garroth suggested Liochant.
He’s a surprisingly good actor.

Ram + Kurt= She needed two best friends who used to act pretty perverted and stuff, and besides, Travis and Dante both have some acting experience.

Ram’s dad plus Kurt’s dad:
Laurance and Aaron.
They’re probably the most responsible and mature out of all the guys.

Martha:
Vylad got the role.
I don’t think I need to explain why.

Other guys+ the girls:
Smaller roles and singers and dancers
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zane: “So I get to pretend-kill Garroth, Travis, AND Dante?
Nice.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katelyn: “Zane, take off your mask.
You’re the main character.”
Zane: “No.”
Aphmau: “I’ll bake you cupcakes~”
Zane: “Did I say no? I meant yes.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katelyn: “…And then you shove Jeffory to the ground whilst saying:
‘Shut up William!’”
Garroth: “But… But that’s mean.”
Katelyn: *facepalms* “YOU HAVE THE ROLE OF ONE OF THE MAIN VILLANS DAMNIT.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gene: “I would never take a gun to school!”
Katelyn: “Yeah, but J. D. would.
Don’t take this role personally.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gene: “Wow, I didn’t know Zane could sing.”
Katelyn: “Believe me, the rest of us are as surprised as you are.”
Aphmau: “Why though?
There was this whole musical number when he tried to steal our Christmas tree!”
Gene: “Wait…
He tried to do what?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liochant: *strikes a pose*
All the others: *blessed*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vylad: “Wait…
So one of my brothers is the main character, and the other one is the main villan?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vylad: “Huh.
It’s been a while since I watched ‘The Princess Bride’.
I should watch it again soon.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Travis: “What do me and Dante have to do again?”
Katelyn: “Act rapey and dumb”
Dante: “Will do.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laurance: “I love my dead gay son.”
Travis: “I love you too, dad.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Garroth: “I really like the dance for 'Candy Store’.
Very sassy.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zane: “Wait, what do I have to do at 'Dead Guy Walking’?”
Katelyn: “Climb trough Gene’s window, straddle him while he’s topless, take your own shirt off, and all that and more while singing a song about sex at the top of your lungs. ”
Zane: “What.”
Gene: “What.”
Katelyn: “…What?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gene: “I know we shouldn’t eat the props, but can we finish these slurpies once the show is over?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katelyn: “…And then J.D. blows himself up.”
Gene: “wELL THEN.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The end.

I’m sorry this is terrible.

Zane straddling Gene while shirtlessly singing tho

≧﹏≦

anonymous asked:

Hi! Can you do one where they go to the park/playground??? ☺️

here you go anon! i was thinking about one of those open field parks with a little playground on the side and in korea they always have those weird exercise things that kids always like to crawl all over and … not use it for its intended purpose 

onew: 

  • “okay we’re getting kimbap and ddukboki and fried chicken for snacking purposes”
  • lying on the keroro picnic blanket a fan gave minho 
  • got stuck in the tire swing and struggling hard to get out, members are letting this happen “i am your LEADER respect me dammit” 
  • sticks to the regular swing from now on… much less danger 
  • brought bubbles and having fun blowing them 

jonghyun:

  • “i’ve been waiting for moment my entire life” pulls out a kite from the closet 
  • it’s shaped like a pterodactyl and he’s having much difficulty assembling it
  • @ the judging stares “IT WAS A GIFT OK” 
  • it wasn’t, he totally bought it with his own money  
  • running around the field with the kite string in hand looking up lovingly at his dinosaur friend in the sky 
  • in a vicious cycle bc he stops to pet dogs and then the kite falls and when he gets it up again there’s another puppy to pet

key: 

  • minho picked him up and put him on top the monkey bars and shinee is going to comeback as a four member group so help me god you are A DEAD MAN CHOI MINHO 
  • came out to have a good time and honestly feeling so attacked rn 
  • he fucking hates the monkey bars this is so much higher up than it looks ok 
  • clutching the bars for dear life 
  • members promise to catch him if he jumps but HE WON’T LET GO (”we’re not going to let you fall!!! kibum it’s literally a three foot drop pls it’s been thirty mins” / “YOU DON’T KNOW MY PAIN”) 
  • made flower rings but none for minho 

minho:

  • brought a soccer ball, and a volleyball, and a football someone play with him omg 
  • ignoring key’s screaming 
  • doing pull ups 
  • “i wonder if i could flip around the bar”  
  • he can’t 
  • his arms hurt now 
  • calls taemin over to sit on one side of the seesaw and attempted to LAUNCH him into the fkin sky

taemin: 

  • “taemin-ah want to go down the slide???” taemin: “I AM AN ADULT and as an adult i would like that v much” 
  • lying on the field, plucking blades of grass
  • suggests tag, walks away when they start playing 
  • comes back with a bag of ice cream (”when tf did you leave???” / *shrugs* “want one?”)