Me: YES🍎🍎🍎G IVE ME THAT🌱🌱🌱SWEET GREEN🌾🌾🌾🍚🍚🍚 DA🍆🍆🍆DDY 😍😍😍😍I LOVE🍊🍊🍊THE LE A F👌👌👌👌🍃🍃🍃🍃KALE👏IN👏MY👏THROAT👏 FATHER💦💦💦💦 NO MEAT FOR ME🐮❌🐔❌🐷❌ J US T😲😲😲THAT HEALTHY SHIT👍👍👍🌱🌱🌱🍓🍓MUNCH MUNCH💅💅💅 ON THAT💃💃💃💃 GREEN LIVING🍉🍉🍉VEGGIE GAME ON POINT🌱🌱🍓🍉🍉🌾🌾🌾🌱🌱💪💪💪💪💦💦
its been fucking years and i can’t believe i’m about to shitpost about naruto but here we go kakagai post-series headcanons lets get into it:
kakashi and gai are old disabled loving ninjas who end up living under one roof and thats just a fact, a plethora of ninken, a plethora of fucking turtles, just dogs and turtles all the way down
de-facto babysitters for…… literally anyone and everyone, where would ur children be safer, go ahead and tell me i’ll wait 2 see if u can come up with anything more convincing than Proficiently Murderous Grandpas
not 2 say their rivalry goes anywhere because they’re honestly probs competing till their last breath lbr
“RIVAL, TODAY WE WILL SEE WHO IS THE MOST PROFICIENT AT CHANGING BABY DIAPERS!!” “u can have this one gai n o thanks…….” “PREPOSTEROUS!!”
their most heated competition is actually trying 2 come up with something the dingdang children will eat that is also a balanced meal like gai overshoots and goes FULL GOURMET
“i HAVE CRAFTED AN IMMACULATE LUNCH SURELY I AM THE WINNER”
but kakashi is craftier and u kno what i mean one of those parents thats like “if i blend the broccoli in2 the cheddar the shitty little fucks won’t know there’s veggies in their grilled cheese” shit making veggie portions tiny and sneaking them in bcs for fucks sake this is a man that continually encouraged naruto to get some damn fruits and vegetables in his diet during the entirety of his tutelage u think he hasn’t picked up Tips and Tricks by now????
kakashi wins, obviously.
gai is devastated but i mean……… gai’s the same man who thinks super-spicy curry udon is the peak of cuisine (which it is) and Tiny Child Tastebuds aren’t cut out for that
gai loudly and proudly proclaiming that kakashi is his rival until the end of his days
gai says “rival” like he’d say “life-partner”/“lover” @ this point honestly they’re in it forever
none of the kids they babysit want husbands, wives or s/o’s when they grow up they all want rivals it looks way more fun
people on twitter who do those gross food threads literally include every food imaginable they’ll be like “pickles are gross” “eggs are T E R R I B L E” “fruits and veggies taste nasty 😷💀” “how do y'all drink water?? shits awful” it’s just like… what the fuck do they eat
On today’s episode of Jill collaborating with people much more talented than she is- BEHOLD THE ARTWORK OF @dysaniart !!! THANKS SO MUCH TO HER! <3
Prompt was “Isak and Sana staring intensely at each other trying to come up with solid Double Date plans!”
“Okay how about Tuesday?”
Sana narrows her eyes, hands folding calmly on the brown lunch table separating Isak and her. Isak looks back calmly, the very picture of nonchalance. Sana narrows her gaze even further.
“Tuesday is no good, I’m hanging out with the girls and he’s hanging with his boys. Wednesday?”
“Fuck. Nah Wednesday won’t work. We have a weekly dinner with Even’s parents on Wednesday,” At Sana’s alarmed look, Isak grinned smugly “Don’t worry, Sanasol, you’ll get there.”
“I don’t think I want to,” She looks positively green, “They’d expect me to cook. I can’t cook.” she pauses again and the eyes that had narrowed so shrewdly just moments ago were wide, “Wait, you don’t think he’s told them that I can’t cook?”
Isak gestures unhelpfully at nothing and clears his throat, “Friday?”
Sana shakes off the ringing in her ears and resumes her intense calculations, “Yousef and I have a service at the Mosque.”
“Nice. Got it, no Friday… I think Even and Mikael are shooting some weird pretentious movie on Friday anyway.”
Sana snorts, “You say it with derision and yet your face is the picture of fond.”
He makes a face, but doesn’t disagree, “Thursday?”
“It’s a possibility.”
“A possibility?” Isak shakes his head, “We can do better than that.”
And they were left, staring quietly at each other- eyes occasionally narrowing and widening, the general chatter of the cafeteria gone muted. Isak taps his fingers on the table, click click click-
Sana leans across the tables and smacks them away, “Fine. Thursday. Where?”
“Pizza?” Isak looks far away for a moment, “I could go for some pepperoni.”
Sana sighs patiently, “Are you stupid?”
Isak gives her his patent um what the fuck look, before realizing his mistake, “I meant a healthy, completely halal meat pizza. Like veggies and shit.”
“I don’t know- what do you and Yousef like? My half of the double date eats everything but cranberries because I low-key think Even is allergic to them, even though he won’t admit it.”
“Don’t say double date, I’ll feel like my parents.” Sana sighs and pulls out her phone, “I’ll text Yousef.”
Isak is already clicking away at his own phone.
Silence for about 13 seconds and then-
“Fucking Even can’t make a decision for shit-”
“-Come on Yousef. ‘I don’t care, Sana, you decide.’ And then a heart emoji? I swear I have to do everything.”
but imagine Isak and Even finally having a housewarming party and Even is super excited and he wants to cook and make snacks for everyone and Isak is just like ??? We can just order pizza?? And Even is like “NEII!!” So he goes to the store to buy all that he needs and he makes sure that the store sells halal meat so that Sana can eat as well. And then on the day of the party, maybe one of the girls comes over a bit early to help them (read: Even) and Even is in the kitchen cooking. So she goes over and they are kinda just talking about stuff when she sees the packaging on the meat and it has the “halal” stamp and she’s a bit confused so she asks Even about it. And he’s like “oh that’s for Sana” and she’s just a bit ??? So Even explains to her what halal means and why it’s important to Sana and she’s just like “ooohhhh”. So the next time the girls hang out, she makes sure that the place they are ordering food from serves halal meat and if not, then she makes sure there is veggie pizza for Sana
—-thoughts by @domeafavour28 who’s too chicken shit to post her amazing ramblings. literally im so !!!!!!
This happened a few months ago and it still bugs me. I have worked in foodservice for almost ten years, everything from fast food to fine dining, so I know that when the rush starts you just get really focused on getting the food out as fast as possible. Well I was at King of Burgers getting some lunch before I had to go to work, right at the start of the lunch rush. I can already tell it might take a while, they were clearly shortstaffed and one woman I assume was a manager called a guy over who was cleaning the dining room to jump on the register. So there was one register open and the manager was pulling food for drive thru/front counter. Well the guy in front of me of me got his food and started to leave when his bag broke and spilled his fries all over the floor. So he went back to the front counter to get more fries. Now, the manager is looking at the screen and steadily bagging food for drive thru, because no dining room orders are ready yet. So her back is turned to the guy. Instead of saying “Excuse me” or otherwise politely trying to get her attention, he just stood there for probably thirty seconds before yelling “HEY”. She turned around like wtf? And he was acting like a giant pissbaby because she didn’t psychically know he was waiting for her to turn around. I felt bad for her because he had such a shitty attitude and I could see her mentally just go “give him what he wants and get him out out of here”, like she WANTED to call him on his rudeness but we all have to pick our battles I guess. Made me glad I never ran the register when I was doing fast food, I don’t know how you guys do it.
Another time I was doing my culinary arts internship at this fine dining restaurant that was in a fancy pants beach resort. I was working pantry station (salads and deserts). A server came back and said she had a customer who was allergic to lettuce, and wanted to know if I could made him a like a cheese and veggie plate. Sure, I said. Some cooks hate shit like that but I don’t mind, as long as it’s not a super detailed request and we’re not slammed. Well the guy SENT IT BACK and she told me he wanted it like a “caprese style” salad. Like? He couldn’t have specified that from the beginning??? And wtf is “caprese style”??? Like dude best I can do is sliced tomatoes and your choice of feta, blue cheese, or parmesan. It’s like some people think we have a whole grocery store in the kitchen.
Another time we had a guy request bearnaise sauce for his steak. Bruh. BRUH. (for those who don’t know bearnaise is basically hollandaise flavored with fresh tarragon [herb] It’s a pain in the ass to make and store for service, which is why unless you went to culinary school or work at a fancy pants beach resort restaurant you’ve probably never heard of it. Also it doesn’t even taste that good honestly). OKAY. I will grant that it was not busy and we certainly had time to make him his ~special sauce~ but my dude, the best we can do is straight hollandaise because who even uses tarragon anymore? If it’s not on the menu it’s probably only 50/50 we can actually accommodate your request because we cannot actually fabricate ingredients out of our assholes.
A/N: This was an idea that was floating around my head. Hope you guys like it!
Imagine Stealing Dean’s Pie
Stumbling into the bunker, you immediately went for the fridge. It had been long drive back to the bunker after your solo hunt. It was a simple salt ‘n’ burn, nothing you couldn’t handle. You were hungry though, and it was two a.m. in the morning.
Rummaging the cupboards, you looked for something to quiet your stomach’s attempt at making whale calls.
Okay, so nothing in the cupboards. Apparently Sammy had gone on a shopping run. Going to the fridge next, you thanked Chuck for your oldest brother’s love of pie. For in the fridge sat an dutch apple pie and a can of whipped cream. There was one piece left, leaving you to decide whether eating the pie was worth your life.
Again, your stomach contributed to your debate by a noise that could only be described as a dying whale.
Grabbing the pie, you piled on the whip cream before snatching a fork. You took it to your bedroom, making sure you locked your door. (Like that would stop a pieless Dean.)
You savored every bite of that sweet pie. You licked the whipped cream from each finger, making sure you got every last bit of the coveted dessert. Not caring about your dirty clothes, you fell asleep from the exhaustion of your trip
“Y/N! WHERE THE HELL IS MY PIE?!”
You woke up to Dean pounding on your door.
“Go away, Dean.” You grumbled.
“YOU BETTER GET ME ANOTHER DUTCH APPLE PIE THAT TASTES LIKE FUCKING HEAVEN!” He pounded on your door, a string of empty and maybe not-so-empty threats coming from him.
“WHAT THE FUCK, DEAN! I’M ON MY FUCKING PERIOD! GO AWAY!” Immediately the pounding stopped, and you heard your brother running away.
If nothing else, mentioning the word period will always make your brother run the opposite direction, pie or no pie.