and utterly destroys it

Deuteronomy 28:7
The Lord will grant that the enemies who rise up against you will be defeated before you. They will come at you from one direction but flee from you in seven.
- This is a promise of victory.
- Your enemy will be confounded, and utterly destroyed.
- God will bring it to pass. Do not fear.
PRAYER: Lord, You know what I am facing today. I hand the whole situation over to You. Thank You for fighting my battle. Thank You that you have marked me with Your precious blood so the enemy cannot touch me. As I endeavor to do what pleases You, I pray that You will cause me to live in victory. In Jesus’ Name I pray. Amen.

apocalypse-on-legs  asked:

Windscream beans about to roast someone for the first time. Windblade goes in to stop the conflict before it escalates, but Starscream stops her and just "shh no. It their time. I've been preparing them for this day. They're ready."

((This is already so perfect))

At this moment the beans realize they’re stronger together than apart. They work off of each other and utterly destroy this guy, not letting up for a moment. When they finally finish, the bot is so confused and broken they just sorta…sit down.

Starscream walks over, slow-clapping and grinning. He puts his arms around his little legacies and walks them away triumphant. They’re going to go celebrate.

Windblade sighs and shakes her head, but she smiles as she follows them too. She is definitely proud that her sparklings can hold their own and talk the talk …and that their use of vocabulary is far better than their sire’s.

10

Daisy Johnson in Agents of SHIELD: ‘What If…’

Space Australian Medicine

Despite the best efforts of everyone involved, something truly nasty escaped Earth. They call it giardia, a microscopic organism that their Planetary Protection Officer called “pretty dumb” and “not too bad, really, a week of digestive upset and then it’s over.”

Yes, Earth has a Planetary Protection Officer. They have a Planetary Protection Office, and have had one since they were sending probes around their own solar system. Doctor Ma-et had found it a bit silly, like a child concerned about the cleanliness of their toys, until she learned that the job of the Planetary Protection Office had always been protecting other worlds from Earth.

Keep reading

I think one of my favorite things, looking back at the finale, is the ultimate fate of Bill Cipher. Not only was he completely and utterly destroyed by Stan, but he also:

  • Had his statue form chucked down a hole and ended up in a remote part of Oregon rather than a heavily populated area
  • Had to enlist random nerds from around the world in his plan to gain form again
  • The nerds quickly became sidetracked by an enormous jigsaw puzzle that took weeks to finish
  • When the nerds finally found him, the first person to shake his hand was a baby, who was too much young to make any sort of deal with a demon
  • Bill was quickly apprehended by the local authorities for trespassing and had to spend the night in jail
  • Said authorities also managed to lose track of Bill’s hat
  • Finally found a home at Confusion Hill, where he was promptly stapled to a tree and will remain there, alone and hatless, until the heat death of the universe

Really, this is the best outcome I could have ever hoped for with a villain this terrible. I would say his fate in our dimension is poetic justice or irony of some kind, but then where would the “Jason Ritter’s puzzle reaction” meme fit into all this?

And the Heavens Wept

Gather around my children and you shall hear of the most terrible, most implacable, most improbable friends ever met by our people. They came from the third planet of a tiny system, surrounded by desolate space. Not one sentient species for hundreds of lightyears, and they managed to propel themselves into space.

We watched from afar as they developed slowly. We watched as they warred among themselves, brutal and savage. We watched as they rendered regions of their planet uninhabitable to themselves, a hardy species able to adapt to even the most hostile of environments. We watched as suddenly and without warning they united under four banners, the rest falling by the wayside. We watched as they expanded into what we had begun to use as a buffer zone, to allow these humans to burn themselves out in.

But they did not burn themselves out. Despite their warring among themselves. Harsh people. Humankind is a race of warriors, do not be fooled by the eloquence of their diplomats. In their own words, “All diplomacy is a continuation of war by other means”. Their greatest artists and philosophers were born from blood and conflict. I had the privilege once to view a painting by one Pablo Picasso, entitled Guernica. It was a savage piece, with not a drop of color. It showed the horrors of war, and the irony of it all was that the painting hung in the office of one of humankind’s generals.

It was sudden, when they burst from the containment zone. When they realized they were not alone. And we, with heavy hearts, prepared to fight them bitterly and to the last. Imagine then, our surprise when humanity embraced us among the stars as long lost brothers. They were overjoyed to discover they were not alone in the darkness. Despite their brutal and warlike culture, despite their glorification of death and violence, their people do not seek out combat. An ancient general of theirs once put it thusly “Although a soldier by profession, I have never felt any sort of fondness for war, and I have never advocated it, except as a means of peace”.

For centuries humanity worked to better itself. They unified under a single Interstellar Empire, the Empire of Man, the Human Empire, however you called it. They enjoyed art and music. They became leisurely at home, exploratory in the field. Their weapons of war were long gone, beaten into plowshares as they say. Humanity was finally at peace. There was no conflict among them, a few border skirmishes for certain, and they kept a small standing military, but nothing more than that. We considered them domesticated.

At first we were surprised at their transformation, then overjoyed. We welcomed them into the fold of the cosmos, embraced them as they would embrace us. We thought we knew humanity then, that we had seen them at their best and their worst. We were wrong, so very wrong. We did not truly understand humanity until the Texar-Hakara came into the void between the stars.

Seemingly more brutal, more bloodthirsty than even the humans, they swept into our region of space like conquerors. They smashed whatever feeble resistance the Yungling managed to put up, took their planets, enslaved the survivors, and pressed on. The Junti were next, utterly destroyed. The four great races left, ourselves, the Itaxa, the Kukrama, and the Illnaa, banded together to try and stop them. In our arrogance, we did not include the humans in our pact. Too few in number, too weak in frame, too backwards in technology we thought.

The Texar-Hakara hit our borders like the great wave that sweeps life from the beach. We hardened our hearts and prepared for the worst. Seeming without pause they crushed our border defenses. They obliterated the first fleets we sent to them. The Itaxa fell to the Texar-Hakara, enslaved, killed, scattered to the corners of the galaxy. Then the humans sent us an offer, a request really. They asked to fight alongside us.

Bemused, we accepted. What else could we do? Deny them the right to fight with us for their very survival? We thought to assign them as rearguards, to ferry our people to safety after our fleets fell. We thought wrong.

Humanity swept into the stars with a fury unmatched by any other. Their fleets were not the heaviest. Their guns not the most accurate. Their soldiers however. Their sailors. Their warriors were unmatched by any others in the cosmos. I remember the first battle in which the humans fought the Texar-Hakara like it was but a single solar cycle ago. Our forces were on the brink of breaking and fleeing. Our ships were gutted ruins. Our fighters exhausted and out of missiles. Then humanity fell upon the flank of the enemy, and the full force of the Human Empire was unleashed in a single moment of utter fury. Landing craft spat across the distance in an instant, slamming into enemy hulls and disgorging humanity’s greatest weapon, their Marines. In close combat humanity is unstoppable, and so they took the vast distances of space combat out of the equation.

Their ships belched fire and plasma. Lasers crossed the vast distances in the blink of an eye. Half the Texar-Hakaran fleet was obliterated in minutes. The other half turned to face this new enemy, only to be wracked by internal explosions as the Marines did their work. Their greatest ships turned on the rest of the fleet, a handful of humans holding the bridge against waves of enemy attackers to turn the tide of battle.

The Interstellar War came to a screeching turnaround. The advance of the Texar-Hakara halted, like it had hit an immovable wall. In many ways that is what humanity is, an immovable, implacable wall. Then, with the ferocity humanity is alone capable of, they routed the Texar-Hakara. Not from that lone battle. They pushed them out of Itaxa space, liberating the slaves. The space of the Junti and the Yungling was swept clear of invaders. Then the Texar-Hakara committed the gravest of sins in humanity’s eyes. They warped a fleet to Earth, jewel of humanity’s empire. They burned that blue and green world. They destroyed it, and the trillion people it housed.

Humanity is a forgiving race my children. Even their most terrible of wars have resulted in lasting friendships between nations. When they left millions dead and broken on the muddly fields of their world, they rebuilt the aggressors. They raised them from the mud, dusted them off, and welcomed them back into the fold. But there is one thing that humanity cannot, will not, tolerate. It is abhorrent to them my children. To strike at their home, to strike where they raise their young ones. Where they leave their mates and non combatants. To strike there is to raise the ire of the human race, truly.

Humanity raged. Their attempts at obtaining the surrender of the Texar-Hakara halted. The war turned from a righteous war of liberation to a furious and hateful war of retribution. We begged the humans to stop, to leave what few planets the Texar-Hakara had alone. Our pleas went unanswered for months, until a single human ambassador came to us. His face was cold and emotionless. He told us, in no uncertain terms, that the Texar-Hakara had doomed themselves and that any trying to aid them would suffer the same fate. Quietly we watched then, as humanity wiped the Texar-Hakara from the stars. The Texar-Hakara pleaded for mercy. They offered their unconditional surrender. They came to us and begged on bent knee for us to reign in the mad dogs we had unwittingly unleashed into the universe. Humanity had for so long repressed their warrior culture. Tried to become better. Then we had given them back into the fires of war, and humanity had awakened it’s warrior past.

The Texar-Hakara ambassadors were taken from our halls by grim human Marines and thrust out airlocks. Finally there was but one planet left, and we came to the humans, we pointed to our own losses, our own dead friends some of whom had lived for longer than humanity had been among the stars, and we begged the humans not to take the last of the Texar-Hakara’s lives.

I watched, children, I watched as the Texar-Hakara’s world burned. As humanity left but one of their planets alive, a simple backwater colony of no more than ten million. Ten million, out of the trillions. Then the leader of the human military turned to me, and with no emotion in his voice, told me that humanity accepted the unconditional surrender of the Texar-Hakara, and walked off the bridge of my ship.

My children, the lesson here is that a warrior past is never truly gone. Only buried, mayhaps even wiped from living memory. But gone? Never. Humanity showed us that.

After screaming, [Cassandra] calls out the name of Apollo sixth times, then again a seventh time, but the seventh time, by shifting the inflexion of the name slightly, she shows its etymology. Apollo’s name is cognate with the Greek verb apollesthai, “to destroy utterly, kill, slay, demolish, lay waste.” By crying out “Apollon emos”, Cassandra can designate the god as “my Apollo” and “my destroyer” at the same time in the same words.
—  Anne Carson, excerpt of Cassandra Float Can, from Float
Being Roommates with Overwatch Characters:

Genji: Very quiet and respectful, never eats your food. But he never sleeps, so that can get awkward. Sometimes he does his ninja training in the living room at like 3am. When you go down to yell at him he has mysteriously vanished…

McCree: Super friendly, super messy. He will always invite you into his room to watch this cool video he found on YouTube that you’ve certainly already seen, but he just found it. He thinks the fridge is more of a communal zone. You can take his food, and he can take your’s. He prefers to cook meals to share though, not that he’s any good at cooking. Is often hungover in the mornings.

Pharah: Isn’t home a lot. She’s very focused on her career. Her interactions with you are very formal at first, kinda stiff and awkward. It will either stay that way forever, or one night of drinking and video games will break the ice and give you a million inside jokes.

Reaper: Just the worst roommate ever. The second he’s done with something, he drops it on the ground. Beer bottles? Check. Towel? Yep. Laundry? You once found a pair of his boxers in the refrigerator for fucks sake Reyes, why is this here? NEXT TO MY MILK! He always claims he was the last one who did dishes. He never does dishes.

Soldier 76: The weird roommate you met through Craigslist who seems quiet and reserved at first, but once he gets going on his conspiracy theories and how THE SYSTEM IS BROKEN he will never shut up. Constantly plays CoD on the couch. Never seems to go to work, but always pays rent on time. Does the chores with military precision.

Tracer: Lives outside of time, quite literally. So be prepared to remind her of appointments, when rent is due, that it is not in fact the weekend so could she stop playing Just Dance so loud past eleven? It’s frustrating, but she’s so much fun to be around you forgive her.  She is on first name basis with all the bartenders in the neighborhood, and drinking with her is always an epic adventure.

Bastion: You bought this old thing on eBay. They said it was non-functional, but it immediately sprang to life in your apartment. It spends all its time out on the balcony, where a flock of birds have made it their home. Every once in a while you wake up in the middle of the night to find it crouched in the corner of your room in turret mode. Then you realize someone was being loud outside and it got scared.

Hanzo: There are two Hanzos. Calm, collected, brooding Hanzo, and I’LL TELL YOU WHEN I’VE HAD ENOUGH SAKEsshdhshjkfk Hanzo. Hanzo is normally very organized, his room his spartan and he made a chore schedule that he treats like it is law. But about two times a week he gets shit faced on expensive sake, cries about his brother, tries to fight a house plant (claiming it knows nothing of honor when he falls on his ass), and ends the evening on the balcony, pegging passersby with perfect precision with YOUR HOTDOGS THAT HE STOLE FROM THE FRIDGE, HANZO COME INSIDE.

Junkrat: Just, an absolute disaster. Your apartment has become a junkyard. Scraps of machines all of the place. And it smells terrible because he’s constantly mixing weird chemicals in the bathtub. You’ve started showering at the gym, and are terrified when you have to pee. You’ve had three minor fires in the place since he moved in, and you’re pretty sure he’s a criminal. You’d call the cops, but his… boyfriend? You’re not sure. His giant man partner keeps coming around and staring at you silently and you’re just trying to stay alive, okay?

Mei: Is terribly sweet and friendly, but messy and forgetful. You can’t get mad at her, because she always apologizes profusely when she forgets to do the dishes or take out the trash or that this is her week to buy toilet paper. She’s often wrapped up in her work, and loves to go on exuberant explanations of the science involved that you don’t even half understand. But you smile and nod along. She’s just so excited, you can’t interrupt her. Her bedroom is cluttered with items she collected from her travels and adventures, mixed with scientific equipment and climbing gear. She always wants you to come on nature hikes. They are beautiful but exhausting. That girl has boundless energy. The only time she gets mad is if you try to throw away a recyclable.

Torbjörn: He is constantly making noise, hammering, laughing like a maniac, riveting??? WTF is he doing in his room???? He’s very cranky and opinionated (do not bring up Omnics, trust me), but after a few beers he has some of the most amazing stores you’ve ever heard. He keeps his mess to his room and only forgets to do his chores every once in a while. But food in the fridge is going to disappear and he’ll get very defensive when you ask him about it. Also, long golden beard hairs! EVERYWHERE! in the bathroom! Clean out the drain when you’re done!

Widowmaker: The most intimidating person you’ve ever lived with. Hell, ever met. She will walk around in nothing but a towel, but it’s actually kind of terrifying? Like she’s daring you to say something to her??? You’re pretty sure she’s killed at least two people in the neighborhood. No one can prove it. You feel like she’s constantly watching you in your room… you’ve looked for cameras and found nothing. She leaves for days at a time, and then suddenly appears silently in the middle of the apartment. You didn’t hear the front door open????? WTF IS HAPPENING???? She leaves all the chores to you, will pretend she only speaks French if she’s not in the mood to talk to you. You’re pretty sure you’re going to be found dead in the bathtub and there will be no records of your roommate…

D.Va: Almost never does chores, acts like she did you a favor when she finally washes a single dish. Is constantly live streaming from the couch. You haven’t been able to watch TV since she moved in. She invites you to play games just to utterly destroy your ass at them. She got sponsored by Doritos and Mountain Dew so now the apartment is full of that crap. She acts like that’s her contribution to groceries because she saw you eat a chip. You thought she hated you until someone on her stream called you a loser and she tore them a new asshole. Is this what having a sister is like???

Reinhardt: Snores like a freight train is rumbling through the apartment. You can hear it through the walls. Through your earplugs. Nothing helps. He is incredibly helpful and friendly though. Always does his chores, does a few of your’s if you don’t stop him. Loves to cook dinner, but will always make the weirdest German fusion food. Any nice thing you do for him gets the most enthusiastic thanks that it makes you want to do nice things for him all the time.

Roadhog: You’ve seen some shit, man. Shit you can never tell anyone. Mostly because it would damage Roadhog’s bad ass reputation, and you will not make him angry. His room is full of plushies. He sleeps on them in a big pile. He spends all day playing Animal Crossing and he helps paint your nails. His weirdo boyfriend? You don’t know, small manic man partner comes over sometimes, but you managed to get them to not set off any explosions in the house(by claiming to protect the plushies). When Roadhog first showed up, you were terrified. But he’s turned out to be a really sweet guy. When you’re not on his shit list. You will do anything not to get on the shit list… A UPS driver damaged his limited edition Rainbow Sparkle Bear, and you heard the screams……..

Winston: Spends all his time in his room on his computer. He’s nice enough when he comes out, but that’s usually only for more peanut butter. He’s kind of shy and awkward around you at first, but one day you ask about the glory days of Overwatch, and you get a story hour of epic proportions. After that he is your buddy. Tracer comes by sometimes, always bringing a fresh batch of bananas. Winston tries to act insulted, but you always catch him eating them later. He forgets to do his chores, a lot. He always promises he’ll get around to them. After this experiment is finished… It never gets done.

Zarya: Your living room is now a gym. She moved in a professional looking weight set and bench. “This is just for casual,” she tells you. She constantly makes “helpful” remarks about your physique. She thinks if you just did some deadlifts, your legs would be much stronger. Much more solid. You are like noodle. She tries to train you on the weight set in the living room. She proves that she can benchpress you, and then gives you some fifty pound weights “For a warm up”. May god have mercy on your soul.

Lúcio: Just the nicest roommate ever. He will sit on the couch with you until 3 am talking through your problems. He baked you a cake on your birthday. Is it your day to do chores? He saw you weren’t feeling well, so he just did them this morning. Don’t worry about it, fam, I got you. He only asks you for things on behalf of others. Will you help him organize a fundraiser for the local kid’s soccer organization? Come to a protest to improve the working conditions in factories? Could you maybe drop off this extra portion of dinner to the old lady next door on your way out? Say hi to her cats for him. The only thing that can be annoying is he can get lost in his music and forget that it’s super late. But when that wakes you up, you usually just go and sit down in his room and watch him work on his latest tracks.

Mercy: You really won’t see her that often. She is an incredibly overworked doctor. She is a very kind and patient person, but you can tell she is constantly bone tired. You don’t even ask her to do chores, you just do them all yourself. She barely ever uses dishes or makes a mess anyway. She leaves you little cakes she bought at the bodega as a thank you every now and then. Most of your communication is through post it notes, as you are often on completely different schedules. She seems nice, but you don’t really know her.

Symmetra: Everything has to be just so. She doesn’t even let you do chores, she doesn’t trust that you did them right. She will say the bathroom is filthy when it looks sparkling to you. She is constantly creating little robots to do work for her, so you don’t feel too bad letting her clean? She is incredibly sheltered, and can get hostile when you challenge her world view. But at the same time, you can tell she’s lonely and hurting. With small gestures here and there, maybe you can become friends.

Zenyatta: Just, the chillest bro you have ever met. He floats around the apartment and doesn’t eat anything so he doesn’t cause messes. He still helps with the chores, because it is more balanced that way. When you go through a break up he will listen and give you advice that honestly makes you feel better. He invites you to mediate, and makes it sound like a really great activity. His pupil, Genji, is always coming around. Zenyatta is so happy to see him. Neither of them eat, but Genji makes you ramen sometimes and its SO GOOD. They are both cinnamon rolls, and your life is better for knowing them. Occasionally Zenyatta knocks something over as he floats by, but that’s about the only drawback.

Commission for @inarelashionshipwithmyself


Lance had been cranky the last few weeks. On it’s own that wasn’t too unusual, Lance got cranky about the weirdest things.
About running out of the good face masks and having to use different ones that Allura gave him. About the mice not being in the mood to play with him when he wanted. About getting too little sleep. About getting too much sleep. About an alien he’d never seen before and never would again rejecting his embarrassing advances.
But usually his mood brightened again as quickly as it had soured and this lasting slump was starting to worry them.

Keith wasn’t the first who’d noticed it, he hardly ever was when it came to these things. But after Hunk had addressed Lance’s recent attitude and he’d started to pay attention, the signs couldn’t be ignored anymore.
Usually Lance chattered endlessly during their meals and meetings, now he hardly ever said a word, leaving the group as soon as he could where he’d despised being alone for long periods before.
He seemed tense during training sessions, focused but way too stubborn to really make anything out of it, the slightest mistake throwing him off for the whole day. Keith had caught him more than once on the training deck, using it late into the night, expression hardened and determined.

Whenever Hunk or Shiro or, lately, even Allura tried to talk to him he’d put on a cheery mask and pretend everything was fine before retreating to the shooting range to utterly destroy every target the ship gave him.
Keith didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to reach Lance if not even their most empathetic team members could. He hadn’t felt this helpless since he heard the reports about the Kerberos mission failing.
Until the afternoon he was paired up with Lance for hand to hand combat training.

“That’s – okay, that’s enough”, Lance spat, squirming helplessly where Keith had him pinned, one hand tapping a fluttery rhythm against the floor. “I yield! Fuck, I yield!”
Keith furrowed his brows, not used to the other boy giving in this easily, but he still stepped back, offering Lance a hand to help him get up.
Lance scoffed and slapped the hand away, pushing himself upright. Frown deepening Keith watched him.

“You okay?”, he asked, wiping sweat from his forehead. They’d been sparring for a while already. Where Lance had been almost tenacious in the beginning the fire in his eyes had subsided with every failed try to overpower Keith, every time it was him tapping the mat instead.
Now he leveled Keith with an icy glare but instead of getting back into stance he turned away.
“Leave me alone”, he mumbled before he left the training deck.

Shiro perked up from where he was pinning Hunk against the floor, the yellow paladin about to twist free from the hold and counter it when he also noticed Lance’s retreat.
Allura stepped forward, hands on her hips as she called after him: “Lance! Lance, we’re not done, where do you think you’re…”
“It’s okay!”, Hunk called, having used the distraction to free himself and scramble to his feet. “It’s okay, I’ll go get him!”

“No”, Keith said, body moving before he could even think about it. “I’ll go, I’ll talk to him…” He could feel their eyes on him, skeptical and unsure. Could hear the breath Hunk took, the careful “Um, Keith buddy…”
But he just shook his head, going for the doors.
“I got this.”

As expected he found Lance in his room, already changed halfway out of his armor, the leg pieces still clinging to his body.
“I told you to leave me alone”, Lance mumbled, no emotion to be heard in his voice, but Keith still stepped further into the room, arms crossed and face determined.
“Yeah”, he answered, taking a look at the helmet and armor pieces Lance had put on the table for now. “But I wanna know what your deal is. You’ve been … weird.”
Lance huffed a dry laugh and shook his head.
“I’ve been…? No. Nothing. No deal, everything’s just … peachy.”

“Bullshit.” Keith shook his head. “You can tell Hunk and Shiro that. Because they want to … respect your privacy or whatever. But something’s wrong. I wanna know what.”
Lance groaned, throwing another armor piece onto the table.
“What, so you can feel even better about yourself? Just go away!”
Keith huffed and leaned a hip against the desk, trying to catch Lance’s gaze but the blue paladin already turned away from him again.

“Listen”, he began, not quite sure where this would lead but just going with it for now. “Just because you can’t beat me at hand to hand doesn’t mean…”
“Hand to hand? What can I beat you at then?”, Lance spat, whirling around to finally meet Keith’s gaze and there it was again, that fire he’d seen at the beginning of the training session. “You’re the amazing pilot, the martial arts expert, the brave one everybody loves and wants to be like! What else is there, what else … what else can I contribute?”
Keith frowned.

“You … you want to be like me?”
“Oh piss off!”, Lance cursed, turning away again with an exasperated huff. Slowly but surely Keith began to suspect he really wasn’t the right one for this job, that he was only making worse. Maybe he should retreat and send one of the others instead, to settle what he’d done wrong.
“I’m … I’m not good at this”, he began, already setting up to excuse himself when he had an idea. “At uh … talking to people. When they’re upset.”
“Oh really…” Lance’s voice was dripping with sarcasm but Keith pressed on.

“Or just in general. I just can’t seem to … connect with others. I’m not good at that. You are.”
Even though Lance’s back was turned to him Keith could see how he froze, head tilted a little. Listening. He took his chance and went on.
“Remember when we were on that desert planet and neither Pidge nor me could convince the aliens to let us evacuate them? But then you came in and only needed two minutes with their leader to make them trust us?”

Lance shook his head.
“You were still wearing your helmets, that was rude to them.”
“Yeah but we didn’t know! We never would have figured that out if you hadn’t!” Keith took a careful step forward, around Lance, to look at him again. Some of the tension had seeped out of the other boy’s shoulders and his expression wasn’t quite as hardened as before.
“Yeah”, Lance mumbled. “You guys would’ve been lost without me.”
“We would have been!”, Keith insisted, still not sure what he was doing, only that it seemed to work at least a little.

“And … and that’s not the only thing! You’re … you’re a great shot. An incredible shot! There’s a reason your bayard is a rifle and mine is for close combat. You’re our long range guy, yeah? You don’t have to beat me at hand to hand when you can beat me in a shooting competition any day. And your bond with your lion…”
That was apparently the wrong thing to say. Lance rolled his eyes and shook his head.
“Yours is better. The things Red does for you, it’s crazy…”

“Oh god!”, Keith groaned, throwing his arms out. “Stop comparing yourself to me! You’re your own person! And you bring your own skills to the team! We all need you and if you can’t see how much Blue adores you, you’re an even bigger idiot than I thought!”
There was a pause, Lance squinting at him as if deciding to trust him or not. Keith stubbornly held the gaze.

“You mean that, don’t you?”, Lance asked after a while, expression shifting from suspicious to thoughtful. He sucked his lower lip into his mouth, biting down on it.
“In case you haven’t noticed”, Keith said, posture relaxing again. “I’m also a really bad liar.”
Lance huffed another dry laugh at that but the creases around his eyes vanished as he relaxed.
“You really are”, he smiled tentatively and Keith couldn’t even bring himself to be mad at him. Not when he just coaxed a smile out of Lance. The first one in weeks.

Then Lance reached out to take his hand, squeezing it tightly, and Keith was way too surprised to react. The grip around his fingers was strong and warm, oddly pleasant.
“Come with me”, Lance said, tugging him towards the door without a care in the world for his half dismantled armor.
“What … where…”
“Shooting range”, Lance answered, completely nonchalant with a little shrug. “Wanna beat your ass at something right now.”
Keith snorted but let himself be dragged away. If that’s all it took to make Lance smile again he’d lose a hundred shooting competitions against him.


[This fanfic was a commission! Check out how to commission me or consider buying me a Coffee if you liked this story!]

yondadudonta  asked:

TALK STARKQUILL TO ME I NEED

Their meeting was a little less meet-cute and a little more,,, meet-ugly sort of thing.


Mainly because they both read the situation very badly and ended up trying to kill one another. Completely accidentally, but.

Still.

And really, can you blame Tony? Their ship does crash-land in the middle of a crowded highway, and barely manages to avoid civilians. Then they pop out, and they’re armed to the teeth, looking pretty threatening and…well… alien.

People end up calling (what’s left of) the Avengers- which happens, at the time, to be Tony and Tony alone.

Except the Guardians crashed in Florida; when Tony got the call he was in New Orleans at a science convention, and the suit was still in New York.

But he went anyway. Suit or no suit, he had to try. He was the only line of defence now, after… everything.

So, armed with a sophisticated watch-gauntlet and a gun he always kept tucked in his jacket pocket, he takes the jet and leaves to try and stop them from potentially, y’know, annihilating the world or whatever.


Except things don’t really happen like that, in the end.


“Listen, what are the chances you’re gonna do as I say when I order you to drop your weapons and leave?” tony asks wearily, as he holds the gun at the biggest guy’s weirdly patterned face and the gauntlet at the woman holding the largest gun he’s ever seen in his life. He doesn’t even bat an eyelid toward the talking walking raccoon or… the tree…thing.

Just another day in the life, at this point.

Although it would be kinda embarrassing if he ends up getting murdered by the raccoon. What the damn hell would they put on his grave? Here lies Tony Stark- saved New York, but unable to protect himself from the dangers of the Mighty Raccoon?

As soon as he’d spoken, about 13 different weapons were pointed in his face. Which hardly made sense, considering there were five of them and they all only had two hands. But whatever.

“How’s about we ask you the same? Except more forcefully, considering we got all the guns,” the raccoon said.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Where the fuck would I go then, what with me being a human being who lives here? Just fling myself into the void of space? And yes, tempting as that might sound, I’ve been there done that. Not as appealing as I would have thought, to be honest.” 

The five stared at him in confusion for a moment, before what looked to be the only actual human stepped forward, head cocked. His eyes were bright and beard scruffy- Tony thought it suited him.

Tony also thought he should probably focus on the task at hand, and his ever-growing chances of imminent death, rather than how pretty his opponent was.

“You’re just a human, huh?” Hot Scruffy Man asked.

Tony raised an eyebrow, and then pointed the gun at him when he took another step. “What gave it away? The fact that I have the same composition and structure as every other human on the planet? The fact I look just like you, who is also a human?”

“Half human,”

“What was the other half, pure asshole?”

“Actually… kinda, yeah.” The Hot Scruffy Man paused, and then shrugged. “Daddy issues.”

Tony had a brief moment to wonder what the fuck he was doing before an involuntary snort of laughter had escaped out of him. “Yeah- rode that train before, buddy- still doesn’t explain why you’re on the planet I protect, waving your guns around at innocent people and causing millions of dollars worth in property damage.”

The team in front of him paused, and then the man looked back at the green lady, who just shrugged and put down her gun. “We were told there was an imminent threat to your planet. We were in the neighbourhood, so we thought we’d come save you.”

Tony stared at them, contemplating. “Where are your sources from?”

“The fine NovaCorps,” Massive Bulked Alien Dude spoke up.

Tony squinted, running a hand across his forehead. “Am I… supposed to know what that means?”

“Fancy space police,” Raccoon told him.

“You seen any apocalyptic aliens round here lately?” Hot scruffy Man asked him again, slightly confused now. 

Tony just sighed. “Nope. And if there were, I would handle them. You can go back…wherever you came from, guys, it’s fine, Earth is fine-“

“You? You’re gonna protect the Earth? With your fancy little handgun and hand-firey thing?” The Raccoon laughed, and Tony scowled.

Luckily, because he had been counting the seconds in his head since he’d called it, he knew he was about to do something really badass, and it wiped the scowl off his face, replacing it with a little smile as he stared at the stupid talking Raccoon. 

“No,” he said, shrugging as he heard the familiar whirring sound of metal moving at hundreds of miles an hour up ahead of him.

The aliens looked up, one of them pointing their gun at the source of noise, like it would do anything. But in the space of a few seconds, it had already reached its intended target, slowing down just enough to not vaporise his body and wrapping around him, every piece fitting in a way that made Tony want to give himself a round of applause.


“I’m gonna protect Earth with this,” he said, raising his two repulsors and loading them right in the Raccoon’s little face.


There was complete silence for a second, before Hot Scruffy Man made a noise that should really, for the sake of Tony’s sanity, be kept in the bedroom. “That was literally the coolest and most attractive thing I have ever seen ever. In my life.”

Tony couldn’t help himself; he smirked and cocked his head Hot scruffy Man. “Sweetie, I appreciate the sentiment, but you’re gonna have to keep it in your pants until we can sort this out.”

Green Lady sighed, and walked forward to smack Hot Scruffy Man around the back of the head. “You know what we talked about, Peter- no flirting with potential targets. It’s in bad form.”

“This guy certainly hasn’t got a bad form,” Hot Scruffy Man- Peter- nodded over to Tony and smirked.

Green Lady sighed, and then turned to Tony. “Listen. You want to protect your planet. We want to protect your planet. How about rather than pointing our weapons at one another, we try and… you know, do what we set out to do?”

Instantly, the smile slide off Tony’s face, not that any of them could tell behind the faceplate. “I work alone. Sorry. You’re gonna have to l-“


And that was when the world sort of exploded around them.


Without even thinking about it, Tony shot forward and wrapped his arms around the two closest to him- the Green Lady and Peter- rolling them to the ground and hoping that the rest of his team, especially the more flammable ones, were okay. Green Lady yelled at the sudden-ness of his approach, but Peter just sighed. “Here we go,” he muttered into Tony’s shoulder.

Tony was inclined to agree, there.




Half-way through the battle, Peter AKA Starlord AKA Galaxy’s Number One Asshole asked him out.

Tony looked at him for a good four seconds before he got tackled to the ground by… (Dracula? Dracker? He was having to learn the names on the go, and his mind was currently on other, more explosion-based things) the Massive Bulked Alien Dude.

“THAT IS VERY UNPROFFESSIONAL, PETER!” He yelled, before looking down at Tony. “Are you well? I thought you may have been hit with a paralytic beam of some sort.”

Tony nodded, and then sat up. “No paralytic. Just your team-mate.”

Massive Bulked Alien Dude nodded wisely. “He does tend to have that affect on people.”

“What? Endangering their goddamn lives on the field?”

Massive Bulked Alien Dude paused, and then shrugged as he rolled off Tony. “I was going to say rendering people speechless with his idiocy, but that too.”

“Hey, that’s not fair, I’m actually clever, Tony, I promise! Boyfriend material, right here!” Peter yelled across the battlefield, looking over to them and grinning as he shot an alien in the back of the head without even looking.

“You’re a god damn alien!” tony yelled back exasperatedly, trying to keep the smile off his face as he jumped high into the air and then landed on an unfortunate opponent.

“Yeah- think of all the new tricks I must know, then,” Peter countered, winking as he dived behind a car and then threw what must have been a fancy bomb over the bonnet.

Tony’s mind briefly short-circuited at that (Holy mother of God) astute observation- but he quickly regrouped and fired a repulsor at an alien attempting to sneak up behind Rocket. “I’m gonna need a few examples before I agree to anything, sweetie,” he replied.

Peter laughed and opened his mouth, but then the Tree hit him over the head. “Ow!” he complained, looking betrayed.

“I have enough issues dealing with one distracted team-member whilst in the middle of a battle, I will not be dealing with two! Cut the flirting out!” Gamora yelled, as Tony watched her utterly destroy two different aliens at once.

“She thinks we should be ‘professionals’ and ‘focus on the mission’ when we’re in battle,” Peter said grumpily, wiping a cut across his face and then shrugging. “I respectfully disagree.”

Tony had to cut the conversation short again in order to swoop up and laser his way into the main hull of the ship that loomed barely even twenty meters over the battlefield, but he still had the team in the comm that FRIDAY had patched him into. “So what about Monday? You sticking around until then?” He asked.

Rocket swore at them down the line, but Peter just laughed. “For you, baby, of course I am.”

“Good. I’ve got a meeting with… let’s call him an ex. Be nice to have an excuse to blow him off.”

Peter whistled, “Oooh, want me to sweep you off your feet and declare battle with him for hurting you? I’m always up for it.”

“Much as I would like to see that, he’s kind of peak physical perfection. Plus I’d rather just make out with you,” Tony admitted.

“That’s fair. I want to make out with me too.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Yep- welcome to the Guardians- we’re all assholes here. You’ll fit right in,” Peter told him.

“I am GROOT!” Came a rumbling voice that Tony could hear even off the comms, and he looked down in time to watch the tree grab Peter around the wait and haul him, flinging him up in to the sky with a yell.

It was a perfect throw, to be fair to Groot. Peter’s momentum cut out just as he was level with Tony, who grabbed his shoulders and lifted his faceplate, just for a second, in time for Peter to plant one on his mouth with a grin and a raised eyebrow, before he began falling again, right into Groot’s waiting arms.


Through the comm, Gamora just sighed. “Idiots. All of you.”

NDRV3 MALL AU

@akikido and i came up with this and tbh… it’s worth the read

Kaede Akamatsu

  • she works at cinnabon “since she is a cinnamon bun”
  • has total control over the speaker system, although her coworkers often tell her to “play songs from this century for a change”
  • it’s okay though, there’s enough piano music from this century that she can work with!

Shuuichi Saihara

  • works at starbucks
  • although he’s kinda shy while taking orders, he likes the environment
  • it’s right next to cinnabon, so he and kaede spend their breaks together
  • and wave when they see each other
  • they also eat together & take turns bringing food

Amami Rantarou

  • works at spencer’s
  • he loves it bc he thinks everything is ugly
  • “it has significantly more WeedTM related merch than hot topic”
  • his break starts when kaede and saihara’s end, so they leave him little treats
  • sometimes he’ll visit their stores and try and make the most complicated order possible

Kokichi Ouma

  • works at the mall’s arcade
  • randomly puts “out of order” signs on the games
  • even though they’re not broken
  • he’ll innocently offer to play games with people and then utterly destroy them

Himiko Yumeno

  • works at the pet store
  • says that she can talk to the animals
  • “yeah… he thinks fluffy is a great name. he told me so.”

Tenko Chabashira

  • part of mall security
  • no one can get away with stealing in front of her
  • no one
  • she begs to be stationed by the pet store so she can see himiko working

Kaito Momota

  • works at a toy shop
  • is always reccommending the space toys, no matter what
  • kids like him. parents think he’s a delinquent because of his hair.

Kiibo

  • works at apple
  • has no idea what he’s doing

Korekiyo Shinguuji

  • works at hot topic
  • intimidates everyone
  • is known by the nickname “gerard way”

Ryouma Hoshi

  • works at dick’s
  • was once seriously asked if he was a gremlin
  • can reccomment the best gear for tennis, but no other sport.

Maki Harukawa

  • works at the children’s daycare
  • hates it
  • at least it’s not a difficult job, though

Kirumi Toujou

  • she’s a janitor, of course
  • she also works at the only sit-down restaurant in the mall as a chef
  • always at the mall. 

Angie Yonaga

  • works at the art store
  • when children come in she offers to paint their faces
  • even though that’s not part of her job
  • at all

Miu Iruma

  • she helps out with the mall shows
  • also repairs games in the arcade
  • so she constantly gets on ouma’s case about screwing around with the machines
  • they hate each other

Tsumugi Shirogane

  • works at rue 21
  • gushes about how good the outfits look on the customers
  • her pureness sells

Gonta Gokuhara

  • works at build-a-bear
  • is the purest worker
  • claps when every bear is made
  • is beloved by the children

Revised edition

Quick report on Kubo and Yamamoto’s attendance to Concomics Guadalajara. I was in line for 9 hours plus two more for their short Q&A and am objectively dying, sorry for typos 

ETA: When I wrote this it didn’t occur to me that it would get hundreds of reblogs before I ever got to fix it, now my half-deceased incompetent typing will live on forever *sobs*

  • I arrived at 6:30 am and there were already people in line jeeesus (lots were coming to see a youtuber though)
  • Gonna spare you the deets on the awful people in my surroundings thank @yuurinikiforov cos I screamed at her for hours

ETA: I just realized this sounds like it was Ally making me scream but in fact i tumblr-screamed at her to prevent from unleashing my frustrations on the gross fujos that surrounded me. Thank Ally because she got to read all that nervous-wreck garbage and y’all get to be spared


  • I had a two-day ticket so I was allowed in half an hour earlier and if not for that, I probably would’ve missed on the autograph line. They had space for 50 people (plus 200ish that had bought the express pass which was super expensive). I was #45. It took less than three minutes since getting inside for all 50 spots to be taken

(this was the line after three minutes. I was too lazy to take pics of it later, but it got to be around 5 times this at some point.)

ETA: According to Con staff, since the lines were very well organized, they actually got to sign quite a bit more people than the originally allotted 50. The Queens are so kind. 

  • No photos, video or sound recording of The Queens allowed, except for this one taken by Con staff. They were giving away those postcards for the filthy casuals people who didn’t bring any official merch for the sign

i’m mostly kidding about the filthy casual thing bc I hate fandom elitism but there were a lot of people bringing FANART PRINTS and I wanted to gut them

  • Kubo would quick sketch a character of your choice. I chose Victor bc I love how she draws his huge heart mouth
  • I was able to tell Sayokan how grateful I am from the bottom of my heart and that I’m looking forward to the movie and she said thank you and that they’re workinng hard. I died. ETA: I wanted to say so much more but I was so nervous my Japanese came out really garbled and we didn’t have much time. And I didn’t get to say anything to Kubo because I didn’t want to distract her from drawing ;—;
  • Sayokan has a beautiful smile and I love her

ETA: She also had an aura like Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada, twenty years younger: A STRONG woman who takes no prisoners and is fabulous af. I love her with all my soul.

After the autographs, The Queens had a short stage appearance

  • There was a cosplay contest and the winners would get to sit in the front row for The Queens’ presentation. I didn’t take any pics but the standout for me apart from a flood of gorgeous girls doing Eros Yuuri, was a pair of girls doing Lilia and Yakov. The announcer clearly didn’t watch the show and botched Lilia’s last name, but the cosplayer had the attitude 100% on point.
  • Something I hate is people who say Yurio stressing the u, it sounds so wrong and a lot of people today were doing it and driving me mad
  • The stage was packed af
  • Kubo drew quick sketch of Victor while she and Sayo answered a couple of questions. They will post the video later today

ETA: Here’s the video

  • Audience Questions logistics wasn’t very well prepared and even Kubo asked how it was gonna work. I was embarrassed for the lack of planning. In the end those that were lucky to be close to the stage got to ask the questions. Lia was praying for no stupid questions pls.


Q&A (translation partially mine partially from the interpreter)


1. What were your expectations about Mexico and have those expectations changed now


Kubo: I haven’t gone sightseeing yet but it’s my first time in Mexico and I didn’t expect so many people. [The people/audience] feels four or five times warmer than japan (make of that what you may, Japanese people say that about us a lot) Sayokan didn’t answer


2. Dumb question that has already been answerred in interviews about whether Yurio was planned to win from the start. As we know, yes, pretty sure both of them have said it before.

Sayokan added that his character development wasn’t completely planned though, and he evolved a lot during writing.


3. Which word do you think of when you thibk of Yuuri and Victor 

Sayokan: Love (愛) 

Kubo: She didn’t talk to the mic and people were still screaming about 愛  so Ididn’t hear what she said but the interpreter said she said Friendship. My queens get your story sraight pls

HUGELY IMPORTANT ETA: Other people that were there have confirmed that Kubo gave a long answer that included 断ち切れない絆 “an unbreakable bond” and didn’t say anything about friendship. There was a telephone game going on because there was a JP-ENG interpreter and then an ENG-SPA interpreter and I don’t know how or why the latter got “friendship” but please take this into account, I don’t want people to hate on Kubo because I wasn’t close enough to hear her answer and the Spanish interpreter botched it.

Not important ETA: A girl close to me was yelling “Victuri” like she hoped they’d answer that and I was facepalming hard

Kubo also asked (in Japanese) if anyone understood Japanese, it wasn’t translated and a good dozen of hands shot up. She was surprised. Some folks screamed abd she said 落ち着け. One or two continued screaming so obviously they didn’t understand Japanese lol

4. Stupid question about whether they plan to develop Otabek and Yurio’s relationship. 

Sayokan said they hadn’t fully decided on how everything’s gonna end in the movie so can’t say yet but look forward to the bonus on V6 (the interpreter said V3 and I wanted to gut him). Hoes I like Otayuri but stop trying to shove it on The queens’ faces pls


5. Do you have plans for a special chapter about the Lady skaters? 

Sayokan said it’s definitely something they’d love to do but right now their focus is on the boys abnd finishing their story. Best answer for me tbh besides Sayokan’s 愛 cos I wanna see Mila skate soooo bad.

ETA: Forgot to mention this but a lot of people were chanting “Boda! Boda!” (wedding). Kubo asked what it was that people were chanting and the interpreter told them. Someoene else is reporting that Sayokan chuckled. There were two tall dudes in front of me so my vision was very obstructed and can’t confirm, but neither said anything out loud in response to it

  • Sayokan threw some gifts at the audience but My Queen is no pitcher and I was too far back so didn’t get anything *sobs*. Some were prints or maybe postcards but no idea of what exactly.

And that’s it! Theyll be signing more autographs and have another stage appearancw tomorrow but I can’t stay so someone else will have to report it whilst I die.

TL;DR I love them and my calebdar looks even more beautiful and I never thought that was possible and I’ll cry about this day for the rest of my life.

PS I’ll fix those typos when I’m not utterly destroyed
PPs: I have no shame so I wanna plug my cute Victuri Tangled AU it’s really cute and it doesnt have typos promise, please read it  http://archiveofourown.org/works/10529547/chapters/23245557

things I checked off my list for the day
  • cried about writing
  • walked around in circles thinking about writing
  • was filled with creative determination
    • wore off and cried again
  • laid on my back and thought about life
  • rolled around and stared at the spines of books
  • cried some more lads
2

Look at this

LOOK

I’ve never made this connection before…at the beginning of DH Hermione tells Ron and Harry how a wizard who’d split his soul could heal himself, save himself…remorse

oh, harry

Harry James you precious baby

I’ve read this second bit before, the whole try for some remorse thing, and thought it was just a Harry stabbing in the dark, but nO

It was so calculated

He remembered that conversation

Hermione’s research

actual, possible redemption for Voldemort

he kept that hope, however slim, that Voldemort could be saved

before they cast their final curses, after all that happened, Harry was actually trying to get Voldemort to mend himself back together

Harry james potter you compassionate jerk trying to save your mortal enemy before he utterly and finally destroys himself