and ur little mouth

friends to lovers!au ❁ svt jun

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Request: can i request friends to lovers with jun? thank you

I wasn’t sure if you wanted this as a scenario or an au so I did an au instead! If this isn’t what you wanted, I can rewrite it for you as a scenario (jun loses his chill somewhere in this au omg) (:

Originally posted by zeropathy


  • your mother introduced you to jun while his mother introduced him to you at the age of ten
  • both of you weren’t comfortable with each other at first, it was kind of really awkward
  • neither of you spoke to each other, but jun played the piano for you a lot so he could practice and you wouldn’t be bored being alone
  • the first time you guys had a real conversation was when you both were twelve
  • INCREDIBLE i know, how could u not yet have an actual conversation with someone you’ve known for two years
  • well
  • u both managed to do just that
  • ALSO you know what being 12 years old means
  • UR MOTHER SIGNED U UP FOR CLUBS
  • a judo club, really. you had no idea what the hell was going on and you just saw a tall man’s naked cHEST oh my god what the fukc can he please put his uniform on PROPERLU
  • junhui’s mother signed him up for wushu
  • which kind of sucks cause like
  • less time hanging out with ur best buddy
  • but it’s okay in the end because now you can use judo for self defense and jun can probably kick someone’s ass
  • going to school together was also really fun
  • you two both rode bikes to school and back
  • the kids in your class thought you two were dating but ?? no ?? have u ever heard of cooties??, gross
  • plus you two are only twelve the kids can chill
  • fast forward to when u two are fourteen years old (rebellious stage as some ppl call it)
  • jun joined the same clubs you did at school even though sometimes those clubs sometimes clashed with his piano and wushu lessons
  • “jun are you sure you want to join informational technology with me?”
  • “UHM yes. i want to learn about computers too, leave me be.”
  • “i’m taking care of the library for volunteer hours. don’t you have piano lessons today?”
  • “there’s a recital tonight. i’d rather hang out with you than play jazz music for gross adults.”
  • jun’s mother came into the library right after that
  • she got pissed when she heard what he said LOL HE’S SCREWED
  • once jun hit puberty he got HELla sassy
  • even u couldnt handle it
  • when you were practicing your judo with jun he got obnoxious and kept talkin g bULLSHIT
  • so u performed an uchi mata on him
  • he was on the floor for seven minutes
  • “keep ur mouth shut little boy”
  • “…u hit me in the balls … . ..”
  • you threw an icepack at him after a few minutes
  • “talk shit. get hit.”
  • his voice changed, wasn’t rlly a surprise to both of u since it wasn’t noticeable at first but it became gradually lower as the weeks flew by
  • he got tall
  • REALLY TALL
  • ur both sixteen now and fukc what thef uck jun can u please shrink a little
  • (depending on reader size, difference isn’t much OR IS VERY MUCH)
  • jun quit piano. he was a bit too advanced for his teachers and he got bored; they didn’t give him difficult enough shit to play
  • he still practiced wushu, but didn’t go to those lessons anymore either
  • he did get a job though, good for hi m
  • he took work days on tuesday, wednesday, and saturday so you two still had plenty of time to hang out!!
  • jun was always around you whether you were taking care of the library, putting together a desktop computer in I.T. or practicing your judo
  • you both were stuck together like glue
  • your parents thought you two looked good together
  • . .. u two weren’t sure of ur feelings??
  • MOR ELIKE
  • YOU’RE OBLIVIOSU TO JUN BEING REALLY OBVIOUS THAT HE LIKES U
  • like he even tries hard to look good for you even if it’s just you two casually hanging out
  • he styles his hair, picks out the best outfit that you would like and puts on a subtle amount of cologne
  • dude he’s liked you ever since you two became teenagers
  • but since you two are nearly adults, he’s trying to make it really obvious that he’s attracted to you
  • because he knows how you are when a boy likes you
  • you don’t have any idea
  • you just think they’re being nice and you end up being friends with them instead of becoming someone’s girlfriend
  • he liked that about u though
  • cause ur cute and practically innocent to crushes and dating
  • so one day, jun decided to give you a bouquet of flowers
  • “aw, thank you! my mom would love these!”
  • “yA these flowers are for you not you R MOTHER”
  • he grabbed the flowers from you and grumpily stomped inside your house to put them in a vase before going back to where  you stood
  • “i like you, okay? have you really not noticed a thing all these years?”
  • “ ,, . no? ?”
  • jun: internally screaming
  • keeps his cool
  • a RE YOU KIDING ME
  • nevermind
  • “CALM DOWN i like u too gosh ur so annoyin g honestly”
  • “!!?!??as a friend right u like me as a fRIENd you obLIVious sHTI”
  • you didn’t answer him right away and you gave him half an hour to calm down
  • UR MOTHER FOUND U TWO MAKIG OUT ON THE COUCH AN HOUR LATER
  • so thats something
  • your mothers are dramatic
  • they both threw a party once they discovered u two were together
  • (so tht is also something)
  • now you two are inseperable
  • your friends seem to always find jun stuck to your side or your back
  • he loves giving you backhugs you’re so comfy
  • when you’re working on something in your bedroom like a project for an extracurricular class, he’s either pressed against your side or you’re on his lap
  • he loves burying his face in the crook of your neck
  • he rlly likes sleeping next to you too because you make him feel warm
  • his kisses are either short and sweet or ,,, dirty
  • jun finds it cute that whenever he goes in for a kiss, you always shyly lean away from him
  • it’s not intentionaL but it happens
  • his arms are almost always around your waist
  • u can’t push him away u just can’t
  • the honeymoon phase weighs heavy on him
  • but as you two get older he gets less affectionate but is still as loving
  • he wouldn’t be as into PDA anymore, he really likes to touch you and kiss you when you’re in private
  • you both are a really dorky couple
  • juN loves you so much
  • he pats your head more often than not
  • doesn’t mind carrying u
  • he thinks ur tiny even though you probably aren’t
  • takes u out on dates that are fun, but relaxing
  • mostly just takes you out to a casual restaurant or a library cafe
  • he loves u and will take care of u pls treat him with love and kindness

Originally posted by animequeenn13

2

GASP! a conspiracy?!!

(pearl dont lie u just wanna get ur sneaky little hands back in jaspers mouth)

i started thinking about vixx au’s most of them are hotmess and involve drinking ken’s has mentions of blood/fights and hyuk’s is like mild nsfw idk just take them off my hands u guys  

  • au where you meet high fashion designer hakyeon at a celebration party for his debut collection because you’re one of the bartenders on duty at the club he and his friends chose. you think he’s absolutely stunning so when he orders a drink from you you accidentally end up over-pouring the cup and making an embarrassment out of yourself. his friends laugh but hakyeon just watches you and once you give him the drink you run to the other end of the bar to save face. for some reason everytime you look up you catch hakyeon from across the room illuminated by the clubs neon lights staring at you over his drink. you think he’s just probably making fun of you because of your clumsiness but like as his friends get more intoxicated and like passout in the back or wander off with girls hakyeon comes up to the bar again and asks you if you’ve ever modeled before. you sorta get nervous because wow he’s gorgeous but also you don’t know why he’s asking you that so you timidly shake your head and he slips you a card with his name on it and you’re like wait - you’re a designer??? and he’s like when i see someone beautiful im inspired and he just sorta lets his fingers linger on your wrist and he leans over the bars counter to like fix a strand of your hair before telling you to call him and he disappears into the crowd and you’re like,,,,holy frick
  • au where ken gets into a nasty fight on the streets with some drunken asshole and he’s getting his ass kicked and you’re just like walking down the street with the ice-cream you bought from the 24/7 gas station and then you see this dude like getting pummeled and you’re like i should not get involved but then u have like a conscience and so you start running towards the two fighting dudes and you scream like there’s a fire and the one beating the other one up makes a run for it or something like work with me here and you like squat down next to ken whose all bruised and bloody and he’s like “f-fire??” and you’re like “i lied, can you feel your face bro???” and he starts LAUGHINg like getting your ass kicked in the middle of the night is the funniest thing ever and you like shrug off your hoodie and let him use it to stop the blessing from his nose and he’s like “yo thanks so much” and you’re like “its chill why were you fighting that guy??” and ken just shrugs like “he said that my hair was ugly so i had to argue because like look at my hair it’s gr8″ and u touch it like yeah its soft and ken’s like im gonna get off the floor now and when he gets up ur like frick he’s tall and ok wow cute???? even with u know blood all over his face lmfao this is how u 2 meet 
  • au where leo and you work at some boring business firm but the ceo decides everyone is going to dinner and then karaoke and u and leo are like shit we wanted to go home early but ofc u have to go so like u two sit next to each other at the table at dinner and the boss is getting drunk and then before you know it everyones ordering rounds and you’re getting dizzy and leo is undoing his tie and then once u all stumble into the little karaoke place someone looked up on their phone you notice how small the room is and there’s like 20 people in this room and you have nowhere to sit and then like out OF NOwhERE leo just pulls you into his lap and ur like !!!!!! and he’s like drunk his head falls into the crook of your neck and he’s like “its loud let me stay here you’re warm” and ur like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, is drunk leo cuddly leo and u find out that yes. YES he is. bonus: the ceo sees you two and makes fun of u for being a couple the next day at work and leo gets super red in the face
  • au where you’re an extra for one of hongbin’s drama filmings and when the filming ends everyone goes out because the director is paying for chicken and like u can have chicken without beer and hongbin has ONE beer but his tolerance level is as shallow as a puddles so at the end hongbin who is tired and tipsy accidentally mistakes you for his manager because ur wearing the same jacket and he’s like “can u take me home” and you’re like “your manager is over there” but he refuses to believe you and he’s just like insisting ur his manager and he steps close and is just like its cold,,,,take me to the car,,,, and he has hazy eyes and he looks up at you like “u got a lot prettier ,,,,,,,  u know that?” and ur like oh my god im not ur manager but also hongbin just called you pretty and he’s like suddenly trying to like put his arms around you for a hug because he’s cold and whiny and ur like ok i will hug u buT I am NOT UR manaGER 
  • au where ravi is a tattoo designer and you come in tipsy with your friend giggling and your friend is like “they want a heart on their hip” and ravi is looking at you like “are you sure, you look like you’ve drank a bit” and you’re like “i AM  sober” (you’re not) and you slam down cash on the counter like “one heart tattoo” and your friend is like cheering you on and ravi is like this is a bad idea so he like carefully takes your hand and leads you to the back where he does the tattoos but while you sit in the chair he’s just like “listen, a tattoo is a lifelong thing. you don’t wanna wake up regretting it” and you’re like looking at him with a smile like “i won’t! especially if it’s a tattoo done by someone cute like you” and ravi just,,,,his heart skips a beat but he’s also sweating because he should probably talk you out of this but tbh he shows you the needle and you’re like WAIT no ….. nvm and he’s like ok thank god but ur also like can i sleep in this chair it’s comfy and i feel all tired and he’s like “i don’t think-” but ur dozing off and one) u look cute all sleepy ur mouth a little open and two) ravi is too soft to wake u up so he goes out and tells ur friend u fell asleep and he’s like ??? should i carry them out if u call a taxi and the friends like good idea and u know he comes back and sorta shyly like hoists you up into his arms and ok wow ur so pretty close up but he’s like can’t think about that as he walks out with u and tbh this friend in this au is me and im taking a photo secretly of him holding u like that so when u sober up i can be like u should go back to see this cute tattoo artist look yall look so cute im a little shit what can i say
  • au where hyuk thinks playing strip poker is the best idea he’s ever had and tbh you refuse until after hyuk and u like open up a bottle of wine and from then on in you’re all for it and at first it’s funny because his shirt comes off, you take off your socks, he takes off his rings and then u like shrug off ur sweater but like the more u play the less clothes there is and hyuk is honestly competitive but at this point screw the game he just throws his cards over his shoulder knock over the bottle with the wine and like tackles u to the carpet and is like “u look hot this was the best idea ever” and ur like ok u look hot too let’s do this lmfao

anonymous asked:

Shingen gets a 0/10 for foreplay. Did they even have lube back then? Probs not so 10/10 times he went in dry and fucking ouch I feel sorry for MC.

OH MY GOD NOOO THIS IS SO REAL I WANNA CRY

ppl been using lube for hundreds of years tho i promise when in doubt, it was probs vegetable oil ;FLMASD;FLKASDFKLM

but either way like??? GIRLS GOT NATURAL LUBRICANT IT’S. U JUST GOTTA GET HER OFF A LITTLE THAT’S ALL USE UR FINGERS OR UR MOUTH AND. THEN U CAN SLIDE IN. IT’S NOT THAT HARD USUALLY A;LSDMFA;SLKDMF

like shingen didn’t even fuckin try he just whipped his dick out and shoved it in there like… bruh… i’m surprised they didn’t describe mc bleeding up a storm like goddamn that would’ve hurt

for a smutlord it’s almost funny that he don’t even believe in foreplay i’m crying

stim suggestion

so for $30 USD I impulse bought some of these (i got the blueberry ones)

they’re called popping boba and u can normally find them at froyo bars as toppings, and sometimes in bubble tea (although those are often tapioca pearls, which are chewy and different)

These lovely little things pop when u squish them in ur mouth and its s o stimmy like oml probably some of the best things i have ever eaten

You can pour them into a water bottle and bring them with you and it looks like ur drinking water but !!! surprise !!! ur eating the stimmiest food known to human kind!!! 

The only thing u might wanna be careful of is the flavor bc it is very sweet (which i like) and if u have super sensitive tasetbuds (like me) it might taste vaguely chemical but not really it just tastes like juice!

anyway yeah i’ve been meaning to write this post for ages bc i ate 7 lbs of them in like 4 days but popping boba is my favorite thing e v e r

anonymous asked:

How should I interact with a guy while making out? Like with my hands/kissing wise. Do you have any tips? Should I just follow whatever feels right lol

HECK YEAH I HAVE HOE TIPS!!!!!!!!!

Ok so kissing wise sometimes its fun to just full force smash your faces together which I frequently do to my boyfriend when Ive gone more than like 2 days without seeing him, I’m drunk, or he asks if I want chipotle/he needs to pick me up wine. Also sometimes he’s cute & I’m not tryna mess around. I personally think its really hot when he just grabs me by the back of my neck or hair or waist or whatever and just gets to it so idk I hope the feeling is mutual when I do that lol but if you’re trying to do it spur of the moment like that, literally just smoosh ur faces together :)(: 

If ur tryna drag things out and be sexy about it (which I am physically incapable of being btw despite my baller tips) here’s my lil step by step tutorial for kissin/hand placement 

1. Start out with one little kiss, on the longer side but keep ya tongue in ur mouth and just draw it out a little. Depending on where the guy’s hands are, just put your hands on his biceps or on his chest & get a little bit of a grip on there while we escalate to step 2

2. Give him little pecs on the lip and start moving your hands either up his arms to his shoulders or get a firmer grip on the front of his shirt/in the chest area. Mix in longer kisses like described in step 1 but keep pecking until he’s pulling you closer and or you are ready to move on  tooooooo

3. At this point he’s probably thrown a tongue in there or you can be the aggressive one throwing a tongue in first, whatever, all good. Put your arms around his neck/massage the back of his neck/hair whatever.

4. PULL AWAY BECAUSE IT PISSES BOYS OFF AND I LOVE MAKING BOYS MAD!!!!!!! THERE’S ONLY ONE BOY I KISS BUT I STILL LOVE FRUSTRATING HIM IT BRINGS ME JOY. Don’t like bite his neck unless you guys have both established that you’re into that because adults with visible hickies are ehhhhhhhhhhhh but lightly lightly lightly suck on his neck/kiss him and move from there to his jaw, up to his ear (lil ear nibbles or you can be like my boyfriend and do cute ear nibbles and then all of the sudden out of nowhere throw a wet willy in the mix and ruin literally everything (im kidding ily)) and you can do little light breaths up at his ear but keep your hands moving aroundhis shoulders/neck/hair/chest so its not like weird heavy breathing into this guys ear for no reason 

5. If he isn’t the one doing it, come back down to his lips while simultanously grabbing his hair (softly plz dont hurt him) and get your bodies as close together as possible. If it gets really aggressive (I HEART AGGRESSIVE KISSING AMONGST OTHER THINGS!!!! but sometimes/a lot of the time nice and gentle is really fun too but if you’re goin full on make out sesh you might as well make it fun) gently bite his lower lip, trace the tip of your tongue around the top of his lip gently and then ease in to a lip bite, grind on that shiz, slip a hand up the shirt, twist the fabric on the front of his shirt and pull him in closer, cup the back of his head with your hand in bring it down to his neck, the possibilities are endless. 

Those r my hoe tips of the day i hope they helped u

mORE fluffy domestic andreil headcanons bc why not (I CANT STOP IM SORRY)

  • ok so most of the shelves in their kitchen cabinets and pantry that are high up are empty bc..they’re both too smol to reach them..wEEPS my tiny sons…so they have to cram everything onto the lower shelves and its honestly a mess 
  • when matt comes to visit their apartment for the first time and sees he laughs for a year and then like a little shit he moves stuff around to the higher shelves 
  • andrew is not amused
  • andrew nearly punches him in the face for it
  • neil manages to stop him 
  • “its just groceries andrew chillax” 
  • “HES TOUCHING OUR /STUFF/” 
  • in the middle of the night andrew drags a chair over from the dining room and climbs up to get the stuff down from the higher shelves. he feels ridiculous and he hates it and he swears he WILL punch matt in his tall stupid face the next time he sees him
  • when he gets back into bed neil is up and he totally heard andrew drag the chair into the kitchen and he’s trying so hard not to laugh at the visuals of andrew ON HIS TIP TOES ON THE CHAIR getting their cereal boxes down from the top shelf 
  • andrew glares at him. “whats so fucking funny?” 
  • “nothing..” 
  • andrew grumbles and gets into bed and neil is still fighting back laughter. andrew punches his arm. “stop it” 
  • neil does not stop it. 
  • “i hate you. 1000 percent.” 
  • “is someone so tiny even capable of that much hate??” 
  • “neil josten shut ur little fucking smartass mouth.” 
  • “make me.” 
  • *they proceed to make out furiously for hours* 
  • another alternative, andrew insists on them using the top shelves no matter how smol they are. and so that means they’re both constantly hopping onto the counter and climbing on shit to get what they need.
  • sometimes when they’re feeling silly one of them will get on the other’s shoulders
  • neil is horrible at balancing andrew and andrew is a little shit who’s always wiggling around. 
  • it usually ends up with them stumbling around the kitchen, andrew holding onto neil’s hands so tight, telling him to “watch where you’re fucking going loser” 
  • they bump into walls like a dozen times at least 
  • its in these rare moments that andrew cracks a smile or lets out a shout of laughter as they trip and go tumbling onto the floor. 
  • they then roll around on the linoleum tiles, and andrew usually ends up straddling neil and pinning his hands up over his head and they never end up getting their fucking cereal what a surprise 
  • on the other hand, when its neil on andrew’s shoulders, andrew’s got him no problem. he usually just holds onto neil’s legs and they don’t need to hold hands or anything but neil still grabs for them and andrew still lets him hold them bc neil has a Thing for andrew’s hands 
  • they always end up getting their cereal from the shelf when neil’s on andrew’s shoulders but that usually means no making out on the kitchen floor and thats boring and not very exciting or interesting so they rarely do that 
  • which means their mornings usually start off very very silly and with laughter and smiles and kisses which is perfectly okay and they totally deserve the happiness and i’m emo about it bYE

the aftertaste little caesars leaves in ur mouth is so offensive to me its like the universe is personally telling me to fuck off for eating crusty $5 pizza

uk safe foods

found two new filling, cheap n super yummy safe foods from tesco:

‘special k biscuit moments’ in chocolate u get a box of 10 big biscuits for 99p they have a gooey chocolate centre w white chocolate drizzled on top, they’re so fuckin nice n satisfying like lil puddings n it’s only 48 calories per one

then proper corn do these little 140-146 calorie packets of crunchy corn pieces for 40p n the salt n pepper ones are banging, so tasty n filling n they take ages to chew so ur forced to savour it n make your brain register that you’re eating more than u actually are, keeps ur mouth busy for ages too bc all the little corn shards n flavouring get stuck in ur teeths, massive binge control food right there

randlebaby  asked:

Okay i live for colin firth and he's my husband but when i found out magic in the moonlight was a woody allen movie i threw up in my mouth a little bit

why is ur taste in men so madrefhuckin ugly god i hate u