and tumblr will judge me for the rest of my life

The Full Potential Challenge

Ever wonder what your life would be like if you lived up to your full potential? Would your body be healthier? Your skin clearer? Bank account bigger? I think about these things all the time, and, judging by a previous post, you guys do too. Let’s try it out! Obviously we aren’t going to come close to perfect with this – we’re all humans with good days and bad days and in-between days. But let’s try together to see what would happen if we pushed ourselves. I don’t ever want anyone to feel pressured to stick to this every day (I sure as hell won’t), but it’s worth a shot, right? Let’s get to it!


  • Stretch. First thing. Really give your body enough time to wake up. Touch your toes. Roll out your shoulders. Do not hit snooze!
  • Do your full skincare routine. I have mine detailed here, but do whatever works for you and your complexion. Be gentle and consistent. 
  • Brush your teeth and floss. I used to be a big floss-skipper too, but you’d be amazed at how dig of a difference it makes. Rinse with a whitening mouthwash. I use one by Crest, and I notice a major difference in my teeth’s overall whiteness in just a few days.
  • Give yourself enough time to get ready. Whether you’re a wash-and-go kind of girl, or someone who spends an hour doing a full contouring routine before class (and either one is fine!), make sure you aren’t rushing. If you need to wake up a few minutes earlier than normal, so be it. Rushing sets an awful, stressed-out tone for the rest of the day. Allow yourself to be relaxed before taking on the day.
  • Eat something. I’m not going to say eat a big breakfast, because some people (myself included) just can’t eat in the morning. But you should eat, or at least bring a little something with you to work or school. If you can’t eat a full breakfast, grab a fruit! You won’t be as hungry come lunch time, making you less likely to gorge yourself.
  • Shower. You can do this at night, in the morning, whatever. Again, this is something you should allow some time for. I don’t wash my hair every day, but I do condition it every day (from the ears down). Scrub yourself with a delicious-smelling body wash. If you shave, make yourself as smooth as a dolphin, dude. If you don’t, then don’t and don’t ever ever ever let anyone make you feel bad or weird about it. When you get out of the shower, wrap yourself in a fluffy towel and totally slather your sexy self with lotion. Top to bottom. Do it as soon as you can post-shower so it can really sink in. 
  • Put leave-in condition throughout your damp hair and comb it through.
  • Put on an outfit that makes you feel good! So important!
  • Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!
  • Take a look at your daily to-do list. Knock out the most pressing stuff first. Take pride when you cross things off your list.
  • Make your bed! Oh my god, make your bed. Do it. Do it. Do it. 


  • Follow the “touch it once” approach. This is a truly life-changing thing. When a task is in front of you, no matter how big or small, just do it right then and there. How many times have you gotten a work email or homework assignment and thought, “Eh, I’ll do it later”? And then later never comes? Once something pops up, do it once. Squash it and be done. Cross things off your list and feel like a badass.
  • Try to go for a walk at lunch. Even one little lap around the block or campus will reenergize you like nobody’s business. 
  • Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!
  • Be present. This is so hard for me too, but you have to make a major effort to be present in whatever you’re doing. Be engaged and plugged-in and just exist in the moment. Give 100 percent.
  • Be friendly to friends and strangers. A smile goes a long way.
  • Eat something. Eat what you packed for lunch (see below) and take a break from working while you do it. You need “you time”!


  • Take your makeup off as soon as you’re in for the night. Wash your face with your full routine and let your skin have a break. 
  • Workout. You can also do this in the morning. Whatever works for you. Make a great playlist and go hard af. Get your cardio in. Get your strength training in. Earn every freaking sweat bead forming on your forehead. Earn your shower!
  • Knock out your homework. Life is infinitely better you don’t have anything hanging over your head. Half the time, the energy and emotion you spent dreading/putting off your work is ten times worse than the work itself.
  • Make a list of what needs to be done tomorrow. It’ll set you up for success the next day, and you won’t forget anything!
  • Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!
  • Lay out your clothes for tomorrow. This will save you SO MUCH TIME in the morning omg I can’t even tell you how important this is.
  • Eat something great. And once you’ve decided to be done eating for the night, be done. Brush your teeth so you can’t eat again.
  • After brushing, do a whitening treatment. Whether it’s classic baking soda, a Crest white strip, or a laser. Do something. And floss! Retainers in too, ladies 0:)
  • Relax! Take a few hours to do what YOU want to do. Scroll through Tumblr, binge on some Netflix, FaceTime gossip with your friends, anything. Do whatever makes you happiest. 
  • Shut the electronics off an hour before you want to go to bed. Put your phone on sleep mode. If you stare at the screen, it will keep you awake and alert and you won’t be able to fall asleep. A good night’s sleep is crucial for weightless and general happiness lol
  • Do a quick sweep of your room and see if there’s anything you can put away real quick. A clean space is a happy space.
  • Crawl into your bed (aren’t you happy you took the time to make it?!) and read a book by lamplight for a while. When you start to feel sleepy, go to sleep. Don’t push it. You kicked ass today and you deserve rest. 


  • Do something with your friends. It just has to be one thing. Even if you’re just hanging out at the coffee shop, spending time with your squad will make you a better, happier person.
  • Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!
  • Do something just for you. Set your laptop up in the bathroom and watch a Netflix marathon while you take a bubble bath. Buy an old school bottle of Mr. Bubbles ($3 at Target!) and really just soak. Relax. Light a candle.
  • Do something creative. You can read a book, write, blog, draw, code, anything. It just has to be something that speaks to your passion.
  • Track your progress. Just do this once a week so it doesn’t become all-consuming. And remember that non-scale victories are just as important as shedding pounds.
  • Take the time to be grateful. Tell your friend how much you admire her taste in music. Mention to your mom how much you love her cooking and how happy you are that she takes care of you. Thank your teacher after an especially interesting lecture. When you do something awesome, take a moment to admire YOURSELF. Be grateful for even the little things.

Anything I missed? Reblog + add yours! Don’t forget to tag your progress!

1.“How did you managed to lose a thirty years old man in a supermarket?”

2.“Don’t you dare walk away from me!”

3.“You can’t live by quoting emo bands for the rest of your life”

4. “What’s up with her?”
“March 22”
“Oh God”

5. “Why would his husband kill him?”

6. “There’s no other way of making easy money. ”

“You never thought about prostitution, did you?”

7. “And she stole my last bit of–”

8. “I may be a hacker but I’m no murderer.”
“The term is hunter”
“Don’t correct me”

9. “I’m sorry but Obama’s not coming back”

10.“You don’t drown people in public pools”

11.“Can we pass today’s ‘How to be a murderer’ lesson?”

12.“He’s gonna be fine”
“You threw him in a well!”

13.“I haven’t slept in six months, do you really want to put up with me?”

14.“Go home, you’re drunk”

15.“Stop touching my hair!”
“But it’s so soft!”

16.“We’re not going to a church with you dressed like that”

17.“I never thought of reading The Bible but I might rethink this life choice. And all my other life choices. I think I’m going in existential crisis, bye”

18.“Hello, hello! Can you hear me?”
“Stop quoting Lana del Rey, for the love of God!”

19.“It’s only interesting if you’re talking about Fall Out Boy”

20.“I’m not high, I’m just really tired”
21.“Don’t broke into people’s houses!”
“How’d you got here again?”

22.“I may be dangerous but have you met my wife?”

23.“Are you silently judging me?”

“Of course not, if I judge people I’ll make sure they hear me”

24.“I’m scared of her.”
“She’s nineteen”
25.“Don’t yell at me! When people yell at me I start yelling at people and I’m not sure you want to hear a Romanian yelling at you!”

26.“You did what?”

27.“I’m not saying she’s a gold digger, I’m saying she’s a… power digger”

28.“Can you stop crying?”
“MCR broke up four years ago, what do you mean stop crying?”

29.“The bad guy’s in jail, my uncle is in the Hospital recovering and I finally got my cigarettes back”

30.“We found her playing guitar in a Devil’s Trap”

31.“I don’t react good after earthquakes and you know it!”

32.“Why do you have a photo of you in Nazi clothes?”

33.“I’m not saying you’re too old for the internet, I’m saying you’re too old to be cool on the internet.”

34.“Why is our sink made out of jelly and why is there orange juice instead of water?”

35.“You should really start packing your– Is that my laptop?”

36.“Is your brother in law seriously Satan?”

37.“Why do the Greek Gods have a restraining order against you?”

38.“What do you mean that’s not how to get tumblr popular?”

39.“Don’t listen to them, lyrics spam is always the answer.”

40.“How ‘bout you give up?”

I think it hit at the end


Originally posted by tt-aeils

bear with me please this is my first bullet point fic and my first fanfic since like 7th grade?? mlp was a dark stage

-okay so you aren’t tumblr famous really but you do have a few hundred followers on tumblr and you put time and effort in your theme and stuff, like ur blog is classy but trashy,,

-you pretty much use Tumblr daily and you are a bts blogger and post gifs that you make for bts and a few headcanons

-so one day in math class you get like 30 notifications that someone liked and reblogged your gifs

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Senior year advice and how to make senior year effective

So it’s your senior year in high school and you’re probably super excited for the year to come. You finally get to go to college and become your own person, pursue your dream, or maybe just get away from the bullshit. So here’s some of my best advice to make senior year a good one: 


  • There is literally no way you can avoid this. It’s like a deadly parasite that just consumes you. It’s very effective, especially if you’re surrounded by people who have already entered the “fuck school I just want it to be over” phase. 
  • The way senioritis works is, the busier you are, the less it will  hit you. I was a pretty active student year round. I had tennis , our drama one acts in the fall, FFA,  plus work. In the spring semester I had our school play, track, and I joined our FFA vet science judging team (which helped kept me focus ) . 
  • Winter is honestly the only time you should indulge lazyness. Get it out of your system and devote the rest of your school year to being productive


  • The one thing colleges love to see (besides student involvement and volunteer hours) is that you have a REAL schedule lined up for you your senior year. Get classes that apply to what you want to do in college, or find classes that you think you might be interested in. You never know if that could be the deciding point on what you want to do with your life. 
  • Honestly, it’s going to suck when all your friends have relaxing classes most of the day and you have stacks of homework to do your senior year (trust me i’ve been there) but in the long run, colleges will thank you, and senioritis I can guarantee won’t hit you as bad when you’re taking classes that challenge and interest you. 


  • This is honestly all preference and knowing your limits, but if you have never taken a AP class your high school career you should probably take one. High school classes are NOTHING like college. AP prepared me more for college and studying then any mandatory classes i’ve ever taken
  • KNOW. YOUR. LIMITS. I only took one AP class my senior year because I knew I would be working and doing a lot of school involvement. Some people liked to make their schedule mostly AP classes because in may when they take their AP exam they just chilled for the remaining of the school. Personally I think that’s a dumb idea, because then you’re just wasting your time for a couple of weeks and it’ll make you want to ditch class, etc. 


  • You never know what schools you’re actually going to get accepted to. You may think you have stanford in the bag and only apply to that school. But if you get rejected and have no where to turn but a local community college, your life will suck. 
  • Don’t worry about being undecided,  a lot of people are in the same shoes as you are, and college will understand
  • BRAG ABOUT YOURSELF. When you do those little “why should we accept you essays” you need to write yourself as the shiny little gold nugget that you are. Have confidence in yourself
  • When applying to out of state: you better know your shit. No one is going to help you as much because your councilors only know about local and state colleges. Especially when you decide to go to out of state college, KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING. Always check your emails and follow the college steps like it’s your lifeline or you’ll miss something. 


  • Just apply to all of them. Trust me on this because I can guarantee you half of your graduating class would have not applied to a single one of them 
  • Don’t be lazy 


  • This is complete bullshit but it also depends on each person
  • Senior year is honestly like every other year but you’re expected to be more of an adult. No one is going to make you apply to colleges and no one is going to make you do anything.
  • Senior year isn’t like it is in the movies, you won’t be partying all the time and not every second of it is going to be perfect. You might lose some friends and some things you love will change. It’s a very emotional and exciting time, make the most of it. 
  • Spend as much time with your high school friends because you’ll probably never see them again. That girl that you’ve been soccer buddies with all 4 year is probably never going to text you again, so make the most of your friends. 
  • Attend all the high school events. It’s the last time you’ll ever be able to do it, so make some memories. 


  • Don’t be scared
  • you’re going to lose some friends and make new ones
  • but for the love of god get involved. it’s not “cool” to be a slacker. Honestly you’ll have a better experience and things will go by a lot faster.
  • Do your damn homework, it actually counts in high school
  • be nice to your teachers
  • make the most of your high school experience. It goes by faster then you think. 
♊ danny and philly’s astrological compatibility ♒

DISCLAIMER: First of all, im no astrologer (my mom is though but im not gonna ask her to help me lol can u imagine that conversation?); second of all this is based on their sun signs (other placements may affect their behavior and personality as well if not more than their suns, but because apparently both dan and phil have the same moon as their suns – wtf – they could pretty easily be the stereotype of their sun signs lol but who knowse *coff* wheres my astrology video u cowards!) and astrology isn’t balck and white, astrology is 50 shades of grey; third, this is also based on things I’ve read on both signs and their relationship on the internet, I’ve never read an astrology book in my life! I’ve never even read a book wtf!; and last, this is purely for the sake of entertainment and procrastination (bye college paper); I also don’t know Dan and Phil personally so these are pure assumptions – these words are not be read as “proof” since there’s no fucking evidence of anything here. It’s pure speculation based on astrology, some of y’all don’t even believe that so chill. Don’t take it too seriously, my word isn’t final.

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heavy, dirty soul (Jungkook x Reader) - Chapter 1: The Meeting

Genre: Angst, smut, fluff, there will be all
Word count: 3,727
A\N - I would like to mention that there are all the usual warnings for a Mafia!AU so if you are uncomfortable with the whole blood, murder, rape, torture pack you shouldn’t read this.

I want to mention that this was originally written as a gift to one of my friends, but I decided to post it on Tumblr since I liked it very much. Angela, the OC is a partial reflection of myself, and so are a few other original characters I put in. There are also appereances from other groups and people from the Kpop industry. In this chapter it’s a brief mentioning of FTISLAND and History, also EXO and GOT7) If you enjoyed my story, have a theory about it, or simply wanna talk, hit me up in the inbox, or come chat privately!

I would very much appreciate feedback! Enjoy!

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Character Analysis: Hanzo Shimada.

So, I’ve been wanting to do a post on a character for a long time and well, there are so many things I’ve noticed about Hanzo. I decided “fuck it” and here we are.
Hanzo Shimada is a bit like Marmite for a lot of the OW fandom - you either love him (guilty as charged) or hate him (I can understand, everyone has different tastes). And Hanzo Shimada isn’t a one-dimensional man, he has a lot to show, which tends to be covered up under his usual masks.
Firstly, the most well-known things; he was born and raised in Japan under a traditional Yakuza family known as the Shimada Clan in Hanamura. They were a powerful force to be reckoned with and Hanzo was the first-born, therefore the next in line. He excelled in many areas, including business, swordplay and archery and wasn’t rebellious like his younger brother, Genji. It all unfortunately went horribly wrong when Sojiro Shimada (their father who we recently found out the name of) died and the Elders pressured Hanzo to “deal” with Genji. Now, the wiki description doesn’t quite make it clear whether they expected Hanzo to dispose of Genji or whether to just punish him, but either way, the brothers fought and Genji was horribly wounded. Hanzo believed he’d killed him and ran from the clan, distraught. Now he’s a wanderer, taking assassin and mercenary work as it comes and attempting to find redemption. Recently, Genji came back to reveal he lived in the Dragons short and Hanzo changed his look in the Christmas comic.
Now, while we all know without a doubt that attempted fratricide is pretty morally awful and illegal and will land you in jail or death row (depending which country you’re in), Hanzo didn’t just do it for no reason and he isn’t without remorse about it. In fact, as someone else pointed out not too long ago, he’s one of the few people in the OW verse to really regret and grieve over his past transgressions. But what made him snap in the first place? And why do so many people believe he’ll either join OW or Talon?
And while we’ll get to the first question later (that one has been discussed in the OW fandom a fair bit), the reason I ask the last question is because there are a few things I believe we may have been missing. The first thing people seem to miss is rather surprising, considering that this is canon as of today (and most likely will be for some time to come).
The fact is, Hanzo has joined neither. In fact, he seems to be fairly resistant to the idea of joining them in general (and while the canon is not in the actual game, the voice-lines do help us judge their characters, whether Blizzard likes it or not). When Widowmaker tries to tempt him with promises of restoring him to his true seat of power, Hanzo outrightly tells her “But at what cost?”
This leads me to believe he knows what happened to Widowmaker (at least the basics), due to rumours or info leaks from Talon (if Sombra isn’t involved in cheekily leaking info from Talon, I’ll eat my hat) and DEFINITELY does not want the same fate. However, from what I can gather, Talon (for the moment) seem to be offering him the chance to come willingly. But he has refused, so if he is interesting enough to them, it wouldn’t surprise me if they tried to take him by force, as they did Widow. And this leads to my next point that we’ve missed. Why would Hanzo not jump at the chance to take back power, especially as he seems conflicted over the Shimada Clan and his once-empire still?
Because it means he loses control.
For Hanzo, his whole life has been about being under someone else’s control. From the MOMENT he was born, he was groomed and conditioned to do everything the Elders told him to for the good of the Clan. He was raised to believe that doing immoral things (like probably weapon-smuggling etc) was beneficial to the Clan as a whole and taught to be accepting of power and monetary gain. While he wasn’t conditioned the way Widowmaker was, Hanzo was still very much psychologically manipulated. Genji seemed to get away with more under Sojiro because he was the second-born and one Sojiro most likely could afford to spoil a little - I believe Sojiro was fairly tied as well, as respecting your elders has a stronger influence in Japan. Of course, Sojiro most likely spoiled Genji too much, but Genji was able to remain more outside the Elders’ influence in the process. Hanzo, on the other hand, had no chance of escape. Did he probably feel stifled and smothered? Did he most likely fear the Elders as well as respect them? Did he feel the pressure every second of the day?
I believe so, yes. And as the Clan were apparently traditional, honour and holding yourself up were most likely very strongly taught. Hanzo had no room to let himself rest - he needed to uphold honour. There is a really good post on Tumblr that describes more of this cultural attitude in Japan (I wish I could remember who made it but it is a fairly popular post in the Hanzo tag at least).
And I think when Genji defied and refused to listen to Hanzo’s pleas…it was the rod that broke the camel’s back, as they say. Of course, Hanzo was in the wrong. But the Shimada were an abusive family, despite Sojiro possibly trying to shelter them both from that. And abuse from your own family is pretty terrible. It’s a least a reason to understand Hanzo’s actions, not agree with them.
This all means that Hanzo fleeing the Clan took an act of great desperation, mental breaking and, dare I say it, courage. To run from people emotionally and mentally abusing and conditioning you is terrifying for anyone and Hanzo was still fairly young - in his late twenties at least.
And while Overwatch definitely does not have the same rep as Talon, Hanzo would still feel used and exposed, possibly under someone else’s control as a weapon. He can’t and won’t go through that again - I genuinely believe he has a phobia against that. Or at least deep-rooted trauma from his time in the Clan and Genji’s “death”.
So he doesn’t. He doesn’t join either.
And I believe Genji knows this, to an extent. In the Dragons short, while he does hint that Hanzo should choose the side Genji works for, he doesn’t pressure Hanzo. He doesn’t even stay to convince him. He just quietly and almost longingly tells him he has faith in him, then leaves him to think it over. He’s giving Hanzo the freedom to CHOOSE. He’s telling him “You are free, Hanzo, I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do”. Which is why it sort of confuses me when I see multiple fics where Genji outrightly CHASES Hanzo into OW when he’s never done anything of the sort in canon, nor do I think he would want to. His time with Zenyatta has most likely taught him empathy with what Hanzo went through and he cares enough for his brother that he doesn’t want to put him through any more of it. Will Hanzo seek to join his brother in OW one day? Perhaps.
But it will be his own choice, and HIS ALONE. That may even be something he can be proud of (I hope it is ;_;).
Hanzo is also traumatised enough that he can’t hold a sword anymore after Genji’s “death”, so it also confuses me when I see fics where GENJI is the one to give him a sword and be all “Hey let’s spar bro, nothing will go wrong, lol”, but I see the appeal in writing that scenario. It’s more likely Hanzo either gets over that hurdle through careful therapy and training, or in a desperate self-defence scenario where his bow is broken and a sword is all he has available, but I think the first is more realistic.
Hanzo is also stand-offish, defensive and possibly shy around social interaction, being quieter and less outgoing than Genji, but he has moments of humour and even loudness (there is one line where he literally shouts “I GREET YOU” and if that’s not a sign of flailing and a “shit what do I say to break the ice” scenario, I don’t know what is). Grumpy too, but I don’t think his grumpiness defines him. I think he’s the type to slowly warm up to someone the longer he knows them and he’d be a quiet, but highly loyal friend if you ever gained his trust (that would be a rarity, sadly and with good reason). I also think he sees Omnics as beneath him, but fairly neutral otherwise (an anti-Omnic feeling most likely bred within the Clan and not the same as Zarya or Torbjörn’s outright hatred and distrust) but that has been tempered a little by his wanderings. Numbani makes him uncomfortable, but not just because of Omnics relations there, but because of the warm, caring atmosphere. It’s not something he’s used to.
He’s also very intelligent and would absolutely be fluent in English and several other languages. He MIGHT not know every English saying or slang, but nobody knows every word in every language anyway, so that’s a moot point.
And with the obvious signs of trauma, depression and self-loathing to wrap it all up, I think I’ve said enough about Hanzo Shimada. I like to think and hope that the Christmas comic shows a small step in his healing, but…Blizzard is ultimately in control of his fate, whether we all like it or not. XD
I hope this was okay - just some musings I had regarding Hanzo. Any thoughts or disagreements, I’m happy to discuss! Sorry for any possible offence as well. I’ll happily add anything I might have missed.

A Year Ago Today

Pic by Roxanne Garcia-Bell

Full disclosure, I kind of hate the Prince related “a year ago today” and “I was there” posts in regard to the events of the past year. I am not a mourner or a “sad about Prince passing” person…and even kind of roll my eyes at the sad face emoji reactions on every post with his face on it. For me I’d much rather celebrate his life and be happy that we got to experience his work.

So I was taken aback by all the emotion I felt on seeing the April 14th concert poster someone posted to Tumblr.

And the emotions I felt driving in to work today while listening to my customary mix of his songs…as I do EVERY morning to get pumped for the workday.

And the emotions I’m feeling now when realizing the annoyance about the mourning is a symptom of my own emotional repression…and how letting some of it through now is a lot…

So I’m writing it out to help defuse…

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Blessings in disguise

Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Ton Tumblr prompts
Prompt 3- Taste


Oliver groaned inwardly as the waitress laid a serving tray full of food on the table. Followed by three more.

“As you can see, I’ve prepared a little bit of everything.” Martin, the owner of Gourmet Affairs, smiled proudly. “Only the finest will do for the Queen wedding.”

Felicity scanned the food laid out. “Nothing has nuts, right?”

“Of course not! Ms. Queen was very clear about your allergy.”

“Good.” Felicity shook out a napkin, laying it across her lap. “Oliver…?”

“Oh… Yes.” He followed her lead, smiling politely at their host.

“Alright, let’s begin shall we?”

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anonymous asked:

Can a guy be a make up artist/hairstylist without being gay like can he be straight?? Because people say if you do make up and hair and your a guy your gay

when my twin brother (who’s gay) turned 21….. the first thing he did was apply at a gay bar in hillcrest. the owner at the time (who’s no longer w/ us - rip frank) hired him on the spot as a gogo dancer (my brother could dance & he was ripped). instead of sharing the exciting news with me (he was afraid i’d disapprove), he waits a couple of weeks & invites me out to a bar. i was super excited b/c you know… i’m a newly minted 21-year-old w/ raging hormones & i just recently ended my relationship w/ my gf. so i couldn’t wait to see what kind of trouble we were gonna get into. it was just the two of us & he didn’t tell me what kind of bar so i just assumed it was gonna be a straight bar (b/c you know… i’m straight). so we go to the bar & i’m kinda confused b/c there were a bunch of dudes & hardly any girls. i walk with him to the corner bar & he’s like, ‘i’ll be right back rob’ and i’m like ok, whatever. the bartender taps me on the back & ask me what i want to drink. i look at all the different bottles on the glass shelf behind him and didn’t recognize like 98% of the bottles on the shelf (i only drank cheap beer/tequila at the time). i tell him to make me whatever - i just wanna get drunk & have good time. so he brings me my drink & i’m excited to taste his concoction (not concocktion). it was the strongest mixed drink i’d ever had. i think to myself ‘this guy is a pro at getting people shitfaced.’ so i thank him & turn around to look for my brother & i can’t find him anywhere. i’m standing there for about 5-10 minutes sipping on my drink & watching dudes tear up the dance floor (gay guys are the best dancers in the universe. i’m sorry but it’s true). so after what seemed like eternity… my brother comes out on stage & he’s like half-naked except for his underwear & glitter on his body. i’m in complete shock & i start freaking out b/c he pulled the old bait & switch on me (& i didn’t know he worked there as a dancer). instead of sticking around, i decide to check out the rest of the bar - and try to make sense of it all. i end up bumping into frank (one of the owners) & he starts chopping it up with me. he’s like ‘you know i just hired your brother. you should work here too. you guys are good looking twins so you’d make good money.’ i tell him i’m straight & he’s like ‘follow me.’ takes me over to another bar & introduces me to this really good-looking dude (he looked like arnold schwarzenegger when he was in pumping iron) & he tells me that he’s straight. i’m blown the fuck away & my nerves start to calm down a little. this guy seemed like a pretty cool dude (he could have been a model too). so we’re talking for a bit & they both eventually convince me to work there. i was hired that same night as a bar back to work along side the straight bartender (didn’t work that night though). the guy ended up becoming my best friend & we had the wildest & craziest adventures together (i’ll share some of our adventures in future posts). i’ll tell you this… that ended up being the best job i ever had (i’ve worked for startups, doctors, tech/real estate/telecom/insurance/automotive companies). 3 years of awesomeness… but here’s the thing: early on, i used to be paranoid all the time b/c i would imagine my friends/teachers/coaches from high school/college finding out. i was always in a constant state of fear. but over time… i just didn’t give a flying fuck anymore. i started to accept & love myself. and i realized that my gay friends were more ‘real’ than all of my straight friends, combined. you know… it takes a ton of fucking courage to come out of the closet, a ton. it takes even more courage to hold your partner’s hand in public. i have a lot respect for my gay/lesbian coworkers, customers & friends b/c of all the adversity they went through in life. i came out of that experience with a ton of self-confidence. i judge less, love more. i’m more compassionate, open-minded, creative & fun. so yeah… you should definitely do it - be a makeup artist or hairstylist. why does it matter what society thinks of you? have u looked at society lately? it’s pretty fucked up. it’s fucking rigid. people are fucking miserable. don’t go there. you blaze your own trail my friend. don’t conform to this shit… transform it. and don’t label yourself a ‘straight hairstylist or makeup artist’. just call yourself a makeup artist/hairstylist. fuck the ‘straight/gay’ label. you don’t need to prove to anyone… and i fucking mean anyone… that you’re straight, the only thing you need to prove is that you can do their hair or makeup better than anyone. blaze your own path bro. and let the haters, hate. ~rob
p.s. diversity is the most beautiful thing in the world. embrace it with open arms.
pps. no one converted me. i still love nice, intelligent, beautiful, fun, creative women :)

why i mostly hate shipping/septiplier rant

this thought has been lurking around in the back of my mind on some things. it’s not like i’m trying to forget about it, but i just want to put something in for a once. also, don’t mistake the title ‘why i mostly hate shipping’ as ‘i hate shipping’. shipping is great and fun, but recently since the whole rant about septiplier, a lot of things have been going through my head, so i just want to clear this up.

last year, one of my friends was fangirling in lunch about the ship, which is of course, septiplier. i didn’t know anything else about the ship at the time, until i searched up what it actually was. the ship septiplier is a ship between the youtubers jacksepticeye and markiplier and the fandom was pretty much increasing at the time. and just like any other fangirl/boy, there’s that cliche thing: 'and then she found a new ship’.

septiplier has been my otp ranked first in the list of ships i have in my notes (pls don’t judge my habits) and was pretty much something i would watch on youtube everyday after to school to rewind and relax. it was great. i’d love to thank my best friend for letting me search up and find these two people who put some positivity into other people’s lives as well as mine and theirs.

now the thing was, my best friend who ships septiplier REAL hard, is one of the fangirls that likes to rage over other ships and claim them to be dead, as well making references every time we would talk and text each other. i was like that too before the whole rant, and from the looks of it i probably raged over the ships harder (not that i want this to be exaggerated or showy about this or anything) than her. we were both happy at the time and we had no problems with the ship.

that was until that one night at 12 or 1am when i was going through the septiplier tag on tumblr. (yes that was my night routine 2016 in a nutshell)

when i’m on tumblr, i rarely read the long passage of texts and fanfics, so i just skip them, but then i decided to read one about septiplier, knowing very little that it was going to change the way i looked at septiplier. it was a rant. it was telling the fans to stop writing smut and porn for the ship since it broke mark and jack’s relationship, and that one sentence which freaked me out: 'septiplier could be dead’. i came across more posts like this and i was starting to feel a bit hopeless as i was laying in my bed.

i took some screenshots and showed them to my best friend at school secretly, but it seemed like she just didn’t care. all i remember was that after giving my phone back to me and telling me 'ok’. just that. ok. i felt like i couldn’t trust her with this kind of news anymore, and she was the only friend in our group who only knows and ships septiplier. i bummed me and pissed me off. i kept on reading more posts for a few weeks and that’s when things started to crumble.

i began to ask questions to myself: what will happen to the ship? why isn’t it happening this year again? have mark and jack seen this post? i began t have doubts. doubts that fogged my persepective of septiplier and the way i thought of it. i changed the way i shipped people. it was ok. i was starting to forget about the ship, but there was one thing…

Jacksepticeye’s Q&A livestream.

i watched a bit of the stream throughout and had the usual reactions, freaking out, smiling and listening attentively with a stoic expression on my face. a few days later i went on the septiplier tag again and found a post with a gif of jack from the livestream with a caption saying 'I think everybody involved already knows at this point.’ I shrugged as clicked on the clip to watch, little did i know that this clip was going to haunt me for the rest of my life when i think about septiplier. he explained how the ship came from great and cute, to obnoxious and over-the-top. he and mark legitimately told the mature-writer/artist fans to stop writing and drawing smut/and porn, but nope. they were ignorant of their advice and did it anyway.

Jack’s analogy: 'Everybody was having a great time in the swimming pool, and then someone just had to take a big ol’ shit. Jus a big old shit that nobody wanted, so everybody left.’

The most heartbreaking and saddest thing that I have to mask over is that he even claimed that Septiplier is dead. Also saying that we have to grow up, and we can still ship it. I became so frustrated and confused. How can we still ship Septiplier if the fans who ship it hear from the person in real life say that it’s dead?! I don’t get how we can handle this after him saying it’s officially dead. I agreed at this point to the least, but hearing that broke me in two. I mean:

What happened?

Where did the 2015-2016 Septiplier go?

Here is some news I’ve been seeing on Tumblr and other social media for the past few months:
- Septiplier is dead
- Jack and Mark’s friendship is ruined
- Rants
- The balance between the hate and respect for Amy and Signe
- More rants
- Other ships 'taking over’
- 'Don’t take Tythan/Jelix too far like Septiplier’
- A few hate posts for other ships
- fanfics fluff or smut/fanfic ideas
- art
- the cartoonjunkie incident

i just want to put a message out here.

please be a true shipper and fangirl/boy by respecting other ships. we all have out fantasies and expectations which are addicting to write about, but we must learn to control them. for those of you who rage, please DON’T take anything else too far. it’s also tempting, but again we must learn how to control ourselves. show respect. show respect for ships like septiishu, amyplier, crankiplier and jelix/septicpie. DON’T EVEN THINK about posting any smutty fanfic or art, because youtubers are a part of us too. we don’t want to feel uncomfortable by seeing someone draw us and someone fucking each other; so it’s never okay.

i hope this rant has convinced some of you out there reading this, and if you didn’t really like reading this, i don’t give any fucks about your opinion of this right now. i just want to thank you for reading another boring, weak rant. :)


feel free to comment down your opinions if you’re still reading this :P i’m just a 13 year old girl posting her third post on tumblr lol


Hi kids!

This is a gentle public service announcement to let you all know that I’m no longer engaging in any more discourse about the kink meme. 

This has become a really polarizing topic, I think the fandom’s collective ability to discuss it in a constructive way has eroded quite a bit, and the “callout posts” about it have themselves begun to feed an alarming amount of sensitive or triggering content into public social media spaces, which, quite frankly, runs a far higher risk of landing in front of the eyeballs of someone who needs to avoid it than when it’s safely quarantined in spaces like LiveJournal and Ao3.

It is staying open for at least the next couple weeks, and I intend to keep writing Kabby fic for it and sharing that fic here, as well as on Ao3.  I’m a big proponent of people curating their own social media spaces, so if you need to unfollow, block, blacklist, etc. because that is a nope for you, that doesn’t bug me in the least and I don’t take it personally.  We all have to know where our boundaries are.

A few last words on this topic and then I’m done. 

(P.S. this post contains no potentially triggering references to any of the specific kinks or fics in question.  It’s safe for all.)

There are many fics on the kink meme and Ao3 that I can’t and won’t ever read.  There are many kinks that squick me out.  But if you’re asking me to condemn specific writers or specific fics because they upset you, just know I’m never going to do that.  Even if it’s a fic I would never read myself.  My position is always going to be that I’m a writer and I stand with writers.  Even when I disagree.  Even when what they wrote squicks me out. 

“But what about this kink? Surely you can’t defend that writer.” 

Yes I can. 

“Okay, but what about this???  This very upsetting thing involving your favorite character?” 

Yeah, even that one. 

Free speech is most important when it isn’t convenient.  It’s most important when you have to go to bat for the rights of people to say shit that makes you want to die inside.  It’s why the ACLU defends Westboro Baptist Church.  If I only held to my values when it related to people who agreed with me and did exactly what I approve of, then they’re not values, they’re personal tastes I’m trying to legislate on everyone else.

My best friend and I were discussing this on Twitter yesterday when this cropped up over there.  We have very, very different personal tastes.  As in, there are rarepairs I write for and kinks I enjoy reading that hit some places of really deep “please don’t discuss that fic while I’m in the room” discomfort for her.  And we’ve learned, over the past years, how to be sensitive and respectful to each other about those things.  I offered - without her asking - to write a censored version of one of my fics to remove a personal squick of hers so that she could read it and not feel left out of the fun the rest of the group chat was having.  She, in turn, never once judged or shamed me for writing the thing that made her uncomfortable in the first place … which is just as important. It’s crucial to our relationship that, just as I don’t judge her for her preferences, she doesn’t judge me for mine.  And I don’t judge other people for theirs, even when they’re MILES away from things I would ever consider erotic, or even feel comfortable reading.  Because another trigger which is very, very real - which for many of us is deeply lodged within our body and our sense of self - is the trauma of being publicly shamed, outed, maligned, or criminalized for your sexuality.

I am gay, and for eight years I was a youth minister at my church.  When I was in my mid-twenties, an anti-gay hate group found a video clip online of a documentary about LGBT Christians that I had been interviewed for, and they emailed it to the entire staff of the church where I worked, the school, and the office of the diocese.  Until you have been outed by force, against your will, to your pastor, your coworkers, your middle school health teacher, the school moms whose kids are in your youth group, and the fucking Archbishop, with a letter explaining that young people are in danger from your deviant sexuality; until you have been on the receiving end of a campaign of online harassment that went on for four years; until you have read a complete stranger write on her blog, not three months after your mother’s funeral, that she hopes your mom died without knowing she had a gay child, to spare her that humiliation; then you cannot possibly imagine the sense of sexual shame that I have carried for my entire adult life about the idea that the things I do in private behind closed doors, or even the things I think about in the privacy of my own mind, are fundamentally evil and wrong.  

This is why I do not make assumptions or judgments about other people’s sexuality.  There is a wide gulf between the things that turn you on in fiction and things that turn you on when done to live human beings (including not just your own sex life, but any other area such as the sex trade, trafficking, the porn industry, etc., where real human beings may potentially experience harm). 

If I can make a distinction between you enjoying a television show where people have murdered each other without assuming you are a murderer, I’m not going to come after anyone for what they masturbate to, no matter how squicky I find it, by assuming they would practice or endorse criminal sexual behavior in real life.  

If you were in a car accident, it might be really, really traumatic for you to watch movies or TV shows that show graphic depictions of car accidents.  That’s 100% legit.  It would be fair for you to expect a warning about that content so you know what you’re getting into and can skip that episode, close your eyes and look away during that part of the movie, or say “nope this isn’t for me, that’s not content I’m comfortable with.”  And nobody would judge you for that.  However, there are other people who have been in car accidents who might be fine with it.  It might not land in their body the same way.  They might find it cathartic to watch the thing that happened to them from a safe distance in a context which is fictional.  They might process the trauma they went through - which is the same as yours - in a way that looks totally different.  

None of this is universal.  There are no hard-and-fast rules about what sexual fantasies are and aren’t okay.  For example, I know at least two fics which I’ve seen alluded to as being content that should not exist because it triggers survivors of _____, which were written by survivors of that exact thing themselves.  You have every right to protect your own boundaries, but you cannot assume that everyone else’s boundaries are in the same place.  

This blog is and remains a primarily Kabby-only blog which I do care very much about keeping a safe space.  I have always, and will continue to, post occasional fic here with Raven or Bellamy OT3s, and am absolutely happy to help you out if there is a way I can be more helpful in tagging that content for you so you can blacklist it and keep your Tumblr safe if that’s something that makes you uncomfortable.  It is always, always okay to come to me with “hey can you tag this thing so I can filter it.” 

In terms of the kink meme, the fic I’m writing and sharing here is primarily Kabby.  I have written for some other pairings, which you can find on my AO3 in my collection of kink meme fills (Doctor Mechanic, etc.) but this is a Kabby blog designed for Kabby shippers, so the kink meme fics I’m writing are largely for them.  They are also all labeled very carefully when I share them to AO3 with the specific prompt I was filling, and a plethora of tags, in case the kink they’re about hits a button that is a nope for you. 

I am always, always open to helping you guys create safe internet spaces by opening up a conversation about ways I can tag fic more helpfully.  But just as I do not police who anyone sleeps with or what gender(s) they’re attracted to - because I remember on a visceral gut level the shame and trauma I felt when that was done to me - I do not police what anyone masturbates to, fantasizes about, is turned on by, writes about, or reads about.  

Before anyone gets the wrong idea that my inbox has been flooded with assholes, I should be clear that 99% of all the conversations I’ve had on this topic - whether people love the kink meme, hate it, can only handle parts of it, don’t read smut fic at all, or don’t care what anyone else does behind closed doors and just wants to go back to talking about whether Isaiah’s tweet this afternoon legit means Jaha got killed off??? - have been thoughtful and civil and great.  The Kabby fandom is awesome and the majority of the really ugly drama has been swirling around around at a distance from our happy little corner.  But I still get occasional anons about this which seem pretty clearly intended to draw me into conflict I have zero interest in, so I wanted to state, one last time, very clearly, that I’m not going to be engaging in any of those from this point forward, and explain as thoughtfully as I can the reasons why.



i was tagged (by @harlot-k & @millerflintstone thanks babes!) for that 5 photos thing to show what my tumblr is all about, or at least what i aim for. 5 is hard, so i tried to choose photos with more meanings to me than one:

biking is possibly the most empowering & meditative force in my life/ always always drawn to the sea & it’s vastness never fails to humble me/ gardening is my healthiest, most joyful obsession & nurturing things to life feels like magic/ always look for the light in situations/ but learn to work through the dark/ catscatscatscatscats (also all fur babies but CATS)/ music helps me continue to find my voice, that deep, internal one that isn’t always easy to hear/ dancing like mad but also naps/ fighting to make a place for myself in spaces that diminish me by default & for others who aren’t valued, respected, or heard/ you can’t judge a boot by their color (those are steel toed)/ locally crafted delicious things made with love/ timing is everything/ beauty is in unexpected places & for you to define/ there is power in weathering the storms & coming out stronger

i feel kinda late to the game, so i might be double-taggin ya so feel free to disregard as always obviously. but how about @sethw @beegoould @iamjustcara @fista-phobia @hikergirl @freshrosemary @polareyez 

& if you just want to do it, go for it because it’s hard to know who to tag so go for it! just tag me so i can give ya some love

anonymous asked:

47 +14 for starmora!

14. “Can I have this dance?” // 47. “Did you get my letter?”

this is. just angst. literally, it’s angst, and the only reason there’s fluff at the end is because of the “can I have this dance?” part of the prompt haha rip. think of this one as a prequel kinda to my last oneshot

send me a ship + a number for a way to say “I love you”!!!!

“You were so reckless, like, I can’t even believe it, because you’re supposed to be the smart one, preventing the rest of us from killing ourselves out there—“

Gamora sighs, slumping a bit where she’s sitting on the bed. “Are you done?”

“As a matter of fact, I’m not, because I’m in charge of making sure my team doesn’t die in dumb ways, but then you run off to deal with the biggest, baddest threat to the entire universe ever, not even trusting your own teammates to have your back!” Peter shakes his head in exasperation as he paces back and forth in front of her, gesturing wildly with his hands.

“You know that’s not what this is about—“

“How the hell would I know, because if you actually died out there, then there’d be no way for me to know!”

“Peter,” she says calmly, slowly, “Thanos is my fight—“

“He’s threatening the same galaxy that I live in, y’know—“

“I knew he would come after the team so I was going to handle it on my own—“

“That’s not fair, and you know it, Gamora—“

“Yes, we’ve always helped each other, but my problems are different—“

“No, they’re not!” Peter exclaims, throwing his hands up. “Maybe we weren’t all trained to be assassins by people who surgically implanted cybernetic enhancements in us, but some of us also lost our parents to crazy, power-hungry dudes who tried to be our dads, which resulted in us losing our childhood lives and homes.” He stops to catch his breath, staring directly into her eyes. “I know of at least one person who gets it, who gets you, so he understands why you felt the need to go off on your own to handle it, but he doesn’t understand why you actually did it.”

Gamora presses her lips together. “Did you get my letter?”

“Of course,” he says quietly. He sticks a hand into his jacket and pulls out a folded piece of paper with “Peter” written on the outside. It looks a little worse for wear now, probably from the fight earlier when Peter had led the rest of the team to help her defeat some of Thanos’ forces and put an end to her recent rogue adventures. He holds the paper up delicately between his fingers, despite visibly seething. “So, yes, technically, I understand why, but I don’t understand why.”

She doesn’t respond.

He sighs. “I probably read this letter more times in two days than I read my favorite book as a kid with my mom on Terra in eight years.”

“I just wanted you to know, to maybe understand…if we never got to…”

As she trails off, Peter steps closer to her. “Stop saying that, stop acting like this is the end.”

“But it’s Thanos, Peter,” Gamora insists, her voice scarcely above a whisper. “I first ran away years ago already knowing it would probably end in my death. I’d never intended for it to include anyone else.”

He sets the letter back in his pocket and gently takes her hands in his, pulling her up to stand with him. “But if we work together, like we always do—“

She shakes her head, her eyes glossy and a lump forming in her throat. “I still don’t think it’s possible.”

“Well, with an attitude like that,” he attempts to joke, but she shakes her head again.

“If you think it was easy for me to leave you all, you’re wrong,” she states, her voice regaining some strength. She pulls her hands away from his, turning away. “You all lost one friend. I lost four.”

He doesn’t respond at first, and Gamora wonders if she took it too far. She forces herself to get over it, because, really, when it comes to Thanos, she’d happily lay her life down to stop him and protect her friends, her family. She’s not about to drag them into her mess.

“Dear Peter, I wish things didn’t have to be this way, but I’m afraid I have no other choice.”

She turns at his voice to find him looking at her with a crestfallen expression.

“You’re probably confused about my behavior lately, including why I’ve written you a letter, of all things,” he continues reciting, his eyes never leaving hers. “I’m sorry for being distant and cold. I wish I could be brave, like you, persisting after a lifetime of grief, but I can’t. My nightmares have returned and I don’t know how else to stop them. I know Thanos. I know his game. It’s my sole responsibility to see the mission through and stop him before he can destroy the universe, before he can destroy you and the others.

“You all taught me hope and love after so many years of loneliness and sorrow. I couldn’t be more grateful. I’m still proud that I’ve had the chance to be surrounded by friends, through the good times and the bad. And, of course, there’s you, Peter, who’s managed to teach me so many things about life, friendship, and a different kind of love from the others. Never doubt how much I love you. It’s because I love you I must do this. Take care of the others for me. Take care of Groot, even though he’s nearly full-grown now.

“If we do not meet again in this life, I look forward to when we are reunited in the stars. Love, Gamora.” He takes a deep breath upon finishing, looking at her pointedly. “Do you believe me now when I say I pored over that thing?”

She feels just as rattled by her words as he appears to be. She steps closer to him. “I never doubted it. I meant every word when I wrote it.”

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” he insists tearfully. “You stood by me against my evil, universe-destroying dad, without even batting an eye, and I know you’d do it all over again if you had to. Why can’t I do the same for you?”

Really, when he puts it that way, she falters in crafting an effective counterargument. Tears well up in her eyes and she lets out a shuddering breath, exposing the anxiety that’s been eating her alive since everything had gone to shit recently. She struggles for words, opening her mouth and shaking her head. “I’m not…I’m not used to someone loving me enough to do that.”

Her voice sounds embarrassingly pitiful, echoing the fear Thanos had instilled in her at a young age. She hasn’t broken down like this in a long time—years, perhaps—and she wants nothing more than to just crawl into some dark hole, never to be seen again, if only to save herself the humiliation of losing her cool like this, after acting like she had some sort of control over everything. (Again, she envies Peter’s bravery in his ability to be so optimistic, despite the world constantly ending around him.)

But Peter’s never judged her, and that doesn’t change now. He holds her hand, using his other hand to cup her cheek. “Hey, hey, breathe, babe. You need air to keep arguing with me.”

She can’t help the little strange gasp that’s supposed to be a laugh that comes out at his words, the corners of her lips twitching up. “I’m—I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I mean, life is really shitty right now, so that’s not okay, but it’s okay to be upset by everything and be a little vulnerable,” he says. “Of course, that’s almost just as scary as Thanos, probably, but I’d probably be confused if you weren’t really upset about all of this, y’know?”

“You should be mad at me,” she protests.

“Uh, did you miss my whole spiel earlier? I was pretty pissed, and even though I still am a little, I love you more than how much I’m mad for you, if that makes sense? Like, the love is trumping the anger. Anyway, I’m just glad you’re back, is what I’m trying to say, and I hope you’re not planning on running away again, because then I’m just gonna sic the team on you when we get you back again, and they’re probably going to yell and swear more than me.”

“Even Groot?”

“Even Groot. Haven’t you heard the mouth on him? We really should do something about his language.”

She wipes the last of her tears away with the back of her hand. “But who taught him those words, hm?”

“Rocket,” Peter insists. “Definitely not me.”

“Whatever you say, Star-Lord.”

He smiles, pulling her in closer and pressing a kiss to her forehead. “In all seriousness, though, please don’t run away and go rogue again.”

“I won’t,” she whispers, meeting his eyes.



At that, he pulls her into a hug, just holding her. She wraps her arms around his back, resting her face against his shoulder and closing her eyes, inhaling his familiar scent. As worried as she still feels over Thanos swooping in and taking them away from her, she feels a tranquility she hasn’t felt in weeks, feeling her heartbeat slow considerably. Though she still believes protecting Peter and the others is the right thing to do, she knows she can’t bear to pull the disappearing act again. It’s not fair to any of them, even if staying endangers them a bit more.

A gentle knock, accompanied by a soft “I am Groot,” comes from the door. Peter looks up. “It’s open, Groot.”

As the door opens, Groot pokes his head in. He’s practically back to his original size now and hardly fits through doorways. He looks concerned. “I am Groot?”

Gamora smiles. “I’m fine now, Groot,” she says, pulling away from Peter enough to look at Groot. “Thank you for helping me and bringing me back.”

“I am Groot.”

“You think music will help cheer everyone up?” Peter echoes. Groot nods with a smile. “Great idea, buddy. Can you go ask Kraglin to hook up the Zune to the Quadrant’s speakers? You can pick the song.”

Groot nods again, closing the door and walking away.

“Which song do you think he’ll choose?” Gamora asks, turning to Peter.

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

The answer comes about a minute later, when the first chords of “Bring it on Home to Me” fill the room. Peter laughs as Gamora rolls her eyes, amused.

“I may have told Groot about what happened on Ego’s planet,” Peter admits, shifting his hands to take one of hers and hold onto her hip. “Can I have this dance?”

Gamora wraps her arm around Peter’s back and gently squeezes his hand. “You can.”

With that, they start swaying carefully, and Gamora breathes a sigh of relief. Her problems are far from solved now, but Peter’s words restore the hope Thanos had managed to squash recently.

She can do this. They can do this.

send me a ship + a number from this **new** list of quotes I reblogged the other day (pls specify in your ask if it’s from the new list tho hehe)!!!

((also I’m sorry for the angst but it’s ok cuz the oneshot that takes place after this one ends happily…..sorta))

anonymous asked:

Why do you think Kara hasn't told Lena the truth about her being Supergirl?

So many understandable possibilities, which is why I’m always annoyed when fic writers have it actually just be because Lena is a Luthor. (And after Kara was seen punching cement blocks over other people assuming Lena was bad because of her family.)

Reason #1:

Lena’s mother wants Supergirl dead.

If Lilian ever found out that Lena knows who Supergirl is when she’s not saving the day, both Kara and Lena would be in danger.

Kara, for obvious reasons. Lena wouldn’t even need to actually tell Lilian for her to find out through Lena, all it takes is a little spying.

And Lena is in danger, because what if Lilian does ask her. Kara doesn’t know how willing Lilian is to actively hurt Lena for information, but she knows Lilian left Supergirl and Lena in Lex’s vault to die.

And then, of course, if Lilian found out who Kara is, she could endanger the other people that Kara loves to get to her.

Reason #2:

Kara likes being just Kara Danvers, reporter and friend, with Lena.

After “Kara Danvers, you are my hero.” Kara would likely love that a version of herself is appreciated, because it’s a version of herself that she isn’t gifted with by the sun.

Kara has expressed these thoughts in her own words, when she lamented the loss of her job,

“Supergirl is what I can do. Kara is who I am.”

Interestingly, even when she loss her job, she didn’t lose the role of Kara Danvers, because she had Lena. 

Lena is the only person who only knows that side of her, which gives Kara an opportunity to enjoy it and not be distracted by her other roles.

When Kara helps Lena, it’s with her words and her friendship. Her self. Hell, this version of herself that Kara gets to be is pretty close to Kara Zor-El, too. Because she so often draws from her full experiences, which includes the loss of her family.

But the one thing she doesn’t have to talk about is being Supergirl.

It’s kind of like… going on tumblr, as a bisexual, and only talking about girls.

I don’t need to talk about guys on here, because I am able to talk about them everywhere else. Everywhere else, people prefer me to talk about guys. This is often just my space for loving women. So much so that people assume I’m a lesbian. 

In fact, in a lot of ways, the rest of Kara’s reasons for not telling Lena draws parallels to coming out.

The Coming Out Story™ that it’s actually probably least like is the sexuality story (I think it’s perhaps something of a cross between coming out as a minority and coming out as trans- for reasons that I’ll maybe describe elsewhere) but because the coming out story I know best is my own, I’ll use that as a parallel.

Reason #3:

Kara ‘coming out’ as Supergirl would just take a minute

Just like it did in my case, and does in many other cases.

It doesn’t always matter who it is or if you consider yourself ‘out’. When you meet a new person, the clock starts over. The clock moves faster the more confident you are in yourself, but there’s still some time before you tell someone something like that.

It took me two years to come out to the friends I met back in college. Not because I thought they would judge me, but because it’s just something you don’t get to know until you’ve leveled up in friendship. Now, with new real life friends, it’s closer to a month before it comes up. 

But Kara also isn’t really… out. It’s generally a secret. So she’s not where I am.

“Okay, but hasn’t Lena proven herself as a friend? Even if they haven’t known each other that long, shouldn’t she be ‘leveling up’ by now?”

Well, this brings me to,

Reason #4:

Lena has proven herself to be a good friend. She has proven herself to be a good person. She has proven that she doesn’t want harm to come to aliens.

But she hasn’t proven that she isn’t, to some degree… xenophobic.

“But you just said Lena has proven that she’s a good person! She can’t be a good person and be xenophobic!”

Well, there are degrees of these things. Most people have some shitty belief on some level. Xenophobia in the real world can range anywhere from “I want them the fuck out of my country” to “Well she’s Asian so she’s prolly smart, right?”

I didn’t tell my friend Mike that I was bi for a while after I really wanted to. A girl in one of our classes had said, with the kind of put-on pride that just dares people to say something, “I’m a lesbian”. 

Afterward, he had said to me, “That was weird. Wasn’t that weird?”

I didn’t know what to say.

Did this mean he was one of those people who is like “I’m okay with people being gay, I just don’t want it in my face?” (Which is a quick way of saying “I’m not homophobic, but I’m homophobic.”) 

Did this mean that he didn’t mind being told, but didn’t understand why she was defensive in that setting? (Which while isn’t necessarily homophobic, this at best hints at a lack of empathy for her, and at worse hints at “Did she just assume I’m homophobic?” which is the kind of rhetoric conditional allies use before going on about how nice they are to the gays, rhetoric that gays know to fear as “if you’re not nice to me, I’m just gonna go be homophobic instead.”)

I knew Mike was a nice guy. He was liberal, spoke against wrongdoings to minorities, never said anything I considered to be “problematic”. And he was a good friend.

He probably just meant that it had been an awkward situation and that she had said it kind of out of left field.

But I didn’t know for sure. And at that stage in my life, I had to know for sure.

Kara doesn’t know for sure.

“But Lena saved the aliens! Kara should know she’s not xenophobic!”

Well, that is definitely in the pro-column. But there is also a con-column, and it contains the alien detection device Lena made. 

Kara gave some leeway with Lena about ‘protecting yourself’ from aliens. Well, for maybe a day. She had been drawing kind of a false parallel between her hatred of Daxamites- who had actual slaves, mind you- and the people’s generalized fear of all aliens they don’t know.

But by the end of the episode, Kara was back to being pro-all aliens. And likely back to realizing that forcing aliens to out themselves is a shitty idea. 

One that Lena was into.

So then, like I did, Kara has to ask herself, “What are the connotations of this? How deep does this go?”

Is Lena just scared because aliens have power that she doesn’t?

(And Kara asks- Would she be scared of me?)

And that leads to other questions.

Does she on some level hate that we’ve made her life dangerous? Is this hate made stronger by how she grew up? Her family is xenophobic, so what did they tell her growing up? Did she grow up hearing them say things that are different are dangerous? That different things are bad? Wrong? Gross? Would she be grossed out by me? How I eat so much? The ways my body is different? Would she find my religion to be weird? My favorite memories, with my family on my planet- would she have to get over some knee-jerk disgust before she could appreciate them? She’s nice to Supergirl, but is that just because she knows she’s supposed to be? That it’s obvious because I’m a Super that hating me is becoming like her family? Would she feel the same if she only knew me as an alien?

And Kara calms herself, because she knows Lena is good and knows she is trying to be better than her family. That Lena has a good heart. That Lena would ultimately and fully accept her in the end. 

But there’s a part of Kara that fears what Lena has to overcome within herself before she makes the right decision. That spilt second of fear. Or revulsion. That split second of anything other than complete acceptance… is terrifying.

But that’s okay, right? To have shitty thoughts a second before the good thoughts? We’re all works in progress.

But so is Kara. She’s not going to have perfect confidence all of the time, and it’s unreasonable to expect her to take this risk right away.

They have time. Lena can prove to Kara a little bit more, conversation by conversation, that she doesn’t think of aliens as bad. And if there’s something that’s off, Kara can help her get to the right place (because, as Kara knows, it’s a lot easier to protect others than it is yourself, easier to argue with fervor on someone else’s behalf than on your own).

And then, over time, Kara’s fear of whatever secret negative feelings Lena might have will be outweighed by how much she wants to share her full self with Lena. And she’ll tell her. 

Unless, of course, someone else tells Lena first…

Dear Friend,

April 1, 2017

It’s April Fool’s day. 
I promise you I won’t be telling you any jokes in this letter. 
Instead, I promise you that it will be a handful of truths that you wish were a joke, or maybe just a story that I’ve made up. 
Unfortunately, my life doesn’t work that way. 
It’s been a mess ever since he left me. 

I don’t think I’ve ever told you his name - nickname at least.
I call him Voldemort. 
Why, you ask?
Well, there was this time in my life - about a year ago - he left to another city up north in Texas called Austin. 
He didn’t tell anyone bye. 
Not even me. 
I didn’t know I was an “anyone” to him. 
I thought I was at least a “someone.”
I guess I was mistaken. 

He left without notice. 
It caught me off guard when he did. 
I sent him so many texts. 
I never got a reply. 

This was going on for over five months. 
Text after text after text AFTER text, I kept giving in! 
Why do I give in?
You would think that after a month of not replying I’d get the hint. 
I did get the hint, I just didn’t want to give up on him. 
He was such a dear friend to me. 
I couldn’t just pretend that he didn’t exist even though he was doing just that to me. 

As the months went on, it got harder and harder for me to think about him. 
Every day, I’d hear his name, see his face, or hear his voice in my head. 
It was so difficult. 
It got to the point that I hated hearing his name so much that when I’d talk about him to my friends I’d call him Voldemort. 

“Voldemort? Who’s Voldemort? Like from Harry Potter?” my friends would question. 

“Yes. Voldemort! That’s what I’m going to call him from now on because I hate hearing his name. He’s my version of JK Rowling’s ‘He Who Must Not Be Named.’”

So, that’s how he got his nickname. 
It’s quite funny though how history decides to repeat itself. 
On January 15, 2017, I sent you a letter telling you about the last time I saw him. 
Referring to that - I still haven’t seen him since then. 
In the past three months, he has only sent me one text message. 
It’s happening all over again. 
And this time I feel like I have lost him for good. 

When he did this to me last year, I was so worried for him. 
I was constantly thinking about him and his health and his well-being. 
I was always wondering what he was doing. 
And most of all, I always wondered if he was happy. 

Now, it’s different. 
Now, he’s not over three hundred miles away from me. 
In fact, he’s less than two miles away from me. 
I haven’t seen him in months. 
I haven’t talked to him in months. 

I still worry about him. 
I still want to know if he’s healthy. 
I still constantly think about him.
And I still wonder what he’s doing,

He doesn’t know this, mostly because it’s a little creepy, but I do take a drive by his house every once in a while.
I got a new car, so he doesn’t know what I’ve been driving.
I always go with the hopes of running into him while he’s outside.
All I want to do is see his face.
Is that too much to ask for?

There wasn’t many differences between the first time he pretended I didn’t exist and the time that I’m going through now. 
The one main difference between then and now, is that I know he’s happy.
He’s happy… 

He doesn’t need me anymore. 
He’s with the girl of his dreams and I’m just figuratively watching him from the sidelines.
I’m watching him be happy with someone else. 
He just used me. 
I was just a distraction until she came back into his life. 
He ran faster to her than he would’ve ever run to me. 
I love him, but he loves her. 
He’s my soul mate, but I’m not his. 

I hate hearing his name again. 
I hate seeing his blue car when it’s not even his. 
I hate going to places where we shared the most memories. 
I just hate thinking about him so much because I know he’s not thinking of me.

I wish I was more prepared for this.
I’m going through the exact same thing as last year, so why does it feel worse than better?
Is it because I want to believe that he was starting to fall for me?
Is it because I know he was happy with me too?
He was.
Is it because he broke the walls around my heart down?

We started doing so many things together. 
He started to make me come out of my shell - as did I with him. 
I saw the look in his eyes when he looked at me. 
I heard the tone of his voice when he told me he really liked me. 
And I heard the sarcasm every time he told me “I hate you.” 
He didn’t mean that. 
Maybe he was secretly telling me “I love you,” but he was just too afraid to say it. 

It’s sad… because I can’t begin to understand what he goes through on a daily basis. 
I don’t know what it’s like to be in love with a guy when you can’t even admit to yourself. 
I can’t begin to understand what he goes through when someone would ask him who I was. 
Was I “just a friend?”
What if they questioned him why we would hang out so much. 
How would I handle that if I was in his shoes?

I want to believe that he was falling in love with me, because it would be the only reasonable explanation as to why he won’t talk to me. 
He got scared. 
I get it. 
His family doesn’t know about his attraction toward men. 
I get it. 

What I don’t get is why he would go back to her?
From what I can recall, in my opinion, she makes him feel so insecure about himself. 
She tells him things like:
He’s a bad influence.
He’s making you do things - drink and other things that happen behind closed, locked doors. 
He’s not a good person. 
You’re better than that. 
That’s not like you. 
You don’t do those things. 

Why does she have to degrade me like that?
And to her own boyfriend too.
I honestly feel like she makes him feel ashamed of himself. 

I hope he doesn’t listen to her. 
I hope he knows that it’s okay to be gay. 
I hope he knows that it’s okay to be in love with a guy. 
Especially someone that would treat him right for the rest of his life.
He’s too beautiful, inside and out to not be treated the right way. 

I remember one thing he told me when he started talking to her again and he and I were on good terms. 
He was telling me that one time when she said something offensive to him, he replied with, “You know what? Sometimes you treat me like a nobody. Unlike Alex, at least he treats me like I’m a somebody.” 

Hearing that brought so much joy to my ears. 
It was wonderful. 
If only he still stuck by that comment and chose me instead of her. 
To be honest, I hope he still compares me to her a lot. 
I want him to know what he’s missing. 
I want him to know what he could’ve had. 
True, real happiness with no judgement. 

I’m not saying he’s not happy now.
I’m just saying, maybe all the comments she made about him not being “him” aren’t true because she doesn’t know the real him. 
Maybe he opened up to me in ways he never did with her.
I feel like I met the real Voldemort.
I feel like I made him feel comfortable. 
He knew I wouldn’t have judged him. 
I think that’s all he needs. 
To be with someone who won’t judge him for what he truly is.  

I want to talk to him. 
I want to hear his soothing voice, especially during sad times like these.
When I’m home alone on the bar writing to you, lights flickering, music playing and surrounded by darkness. 
I feel so empty tonight. 
I wish I knew how to fill this void without needing him.

To be honest, I don’t think it will ever be filled until he comes back to me. 
I’ve tried seeing other people. 
I’ve tried letting someone see my vulnerable side.
I’ve tried finding someone with the same taste in music, games, movies and tv shows like me.
I haven’t found anyone so far.
He and I had so much in common. 
He’s going to be so hard to replace. 

Incidentally, in my previous letter I mentioned some things that I should probably keep you updated on.
I ended up talking to my Management professor after all. 
She almost cried during our talk. 
Her eyes got so glossy, especially after I told her that it’s been difficult for me to get out of bed. 
I could tell that she understood.
She gave me some advice and told me I should go see a counselor - if I wanted to of course. 
She wasn’t forcing the decision upon me. 
I knew she was right when she told me that it would help me a lot. 

Also, my friend from Chicago left this week. 
I miss her already. 
We had such a good time while she was here. 
We went to the beach. 
We went shopping. 
We ate my favorite restaurants. 
I took her to her old home. 
And of course we watched our favorite movies. 
I had such a great time with her. 
I can’t wait until I get to visit her next. 

Love Always,

I’m the girl who wakes up before the sun.
I open my blinds to the soft starless quiet before dawn to watch first light illuminate the sky in rose pink, gentle orange, soft purple, and pale blues. Though I dread the day ahead I greet the sunrise with a smile. Hello sun, let’s make today a beautiful one.

I’m the girl who loves the night sky in all it’s mystery. I sing to the moon and the stars as if they are my closet friends. I dance in the dimly lit streets when no one is out to see and write stories and prose until sleep takes me. I prefer the nightfall where no one is to judge. I am the girl of sunrises and stars.

While he’s the boy who chases sunsets. He does not wake up early enough to greet good day so he hops on his bike and rides to catch the sun just before it sleeps. He photographs the rayleigh scattering of strawberry, coral, and gold across the horizon and subtle cerulean that begins to shade. Goodnight sun, have a nice rest.

He’s the boy who pays no mind to the night but stays up late anyway. He’s the boy who calls to ask how was your day and will talk with you for hours about nothing and everything. He’s the boy who hears my songs to the night sky and tells me to be careful as I dance. He’s the boy who reads my poetry and the only one who does not judge. He is the boy of sunsets and love.

—  a.d. - For the boy who chases sunsets
“You’re too nice” - h.s. Part 2

And after high demand - which surprised me wow - here’s the second part to “You’re too nice” 

Part 1 here.


You didn’t tell Kendall how you ran into Harry when she got back from her New York trip. You could tell she was exhausted and you couldn’t blame her considering she’d packed seventeen outfits for four days in New York and she’d worn all of them. You spent three days in her apartment with her going through her closet, ‘yes’ing and ‘no’ing things as you boxed clothes up and sold them using that closet app she’d gotten addicted to. 

There was a lot of pizza consumed and wine was a necessity. Finally, after a couple of days of down time, you decided to let her know.

“Oh shit I forgot to tell you.” You were sitting on her couch cataloging the next month’s fashion must haves for her as she did her hair in the vanity across the room. “Harry came over while you were in New York and grabbed one of his shirts.”

“You were here when he came over?” Kendall turned around and looked at her with her lip between her teeth, “I’m sorry that happened. Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah I’m fine!” you laughed it off as your chest ached, “I’d actually just found the shirt he was looking for when he came in. He scared the shit out of me of course, considering he just popped into your closet. I was blasting music. It was embarrassing.”

Lying to Kendall was easy. You weren’t one for lying in general but when your best friend has all her business blasted everywhere 24/7, you have to keep some things from her. 

“Shit I feel so bad. I totally forgot you were probably going to be here. Shit Y/N I’m sorry,” she groaned, “That was so inconsiderate of me.”

“Stop beating yourself up,” you laughed. You stood and tossed the iPad lightly onto her bed. “You act like I’m a fragile leaf falling from a tree or something.”

“Your words; not mine,” Kendall pointed out before turning back to her mirror where she proceeded to do her hair. “Also find something nice to wear because we’re going out.”

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A Thousand Years

Imagine: Being Kai’s insecure girlfriend, he notices she is going through a rough time and tries proving to her she is beautiful through sex. (Requested ~Smut~ in third person POV.) Just so you guys know, this is a sensitive subject for most people but it is a very positive imagine in the end I promise you! I teared up writing the very happy ending, feedback would be nice for this one, I’m not quite sure how it is. If I have offended anybody I am so sorry, this was requested and it wasn’t my goal to offend anybody! Love you all! x

It had been three hours since the last time Kai had heard from Y/N. The longest three hours of his life and he would know, waiting by his phone for that time when he could have been doing something important. Like actually picking up the phone and calling her. 

They had been together for a year and a half and it was Kai’s first relationship where he could feel something for another being. He had found out from her mother that Y/N had been eating less, failing her classes and not wanting to do her hair for school or Kai like she always did. Her mother also informed him that she couldn’t sleep, she’d pace in her room all night, cry to herself and hide her body away in her thick blankets on her queen sized bed. Y/N’s parents didn’t really approve of Kai but they had figured their daughter would talk to him about her problems. 

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