and to all of my past portraits

Another reason to stop ‘cringe culture’

I’m a teacher. Today I was covering for a grade 9 science class. Decent kids, if a bit rowdy, and didn’t want to do their work. Wtv, it was textbook work. Not the point.

1 girl (reminder that these kids are, like, 14/15) was doodling bust portraits (head & shoulders) in an art book. I had a squiz and asked her if they were her characters. She said they were and excitedly told me she had so many characters for this one story of hers. I laughed about how I wished I could draw mine, and moved on.

Later in the class, I hear her enthusiastically telling her friend all about her main OC - a gay kitsune prince with a tragic past. It was so, pure, classic Deviant Art: my first OC. And you know what? I loved it. I was just sitting there half overhearing, smiling to myself and glad that her friend was engaging and interested in her story and characters.

This is a girl who will become a creator. She will draw and write and imagine, get better and better. She’ll probably move past this stage and start making more nuanced characters (she was already lamenting she didn’t have enough girl OCs). But this is where she started. This is where so many of us started. I had a tiger catgirl, goth witch/sorceress OC in high school. I found my original design for her recently. Look what I create now.

Let kids be kids. Let them explore and invent and go wild and be cliche and make overpowered OCs. Let them have their anthropomorphic animal OCs. Let them try everything before they settle into maturity.

For fucks sake; let them have fun.

Tips For Writing Time Travel:  An Illustrated Guide.

@jjpivotz asked:

“What is a good way that I could write time travelling without it being cliche?”

Ooh, I love questions like this!  They’re so much fun, and on a somewhat self-indulgent level, they really get me thinking on the tropes themselves.

So without further ado, here are my personal thoughts on writing about time travel:

1.  Embrace the fact that it’s not gonna make total sense.

This goes for a lot of creative fiction.  When I was writing my urban fantasy novel, for example, I used a lot of traditional mythological figures whose duties and depictions (i.e. one humanoid being reaping the dead despite the fact that over a hundred thousand people die a day, billion-year-old entities who still look and behave like teenagers, figures from religions whose world views wildly conflict interacting with each other, etc.) weren’t compatible with what we currently know about the laws of physics.  

And the sooner I resolved not to even attempt to explain it, the sooner my novel improved.  

The wonderful thing about fiction is that it doesn’t have to imitate reality as we know it;  the laws of the physical universe need not apply.  And as long as the characters in your universe accept that, so will the reader.  

I’ve had around twenty beta readers look at my book, and not one of them has poked holes in my casual disregard for the conventionally accepted rules of physical reality.  The suspension of disbelief is an amazing thing.

As for how to best apply this to time travel, take Back to the Future, for example. This is one of the best time travel series ever made, but if you really look at what’s going on, you’ll come to find that none of it really makes any sense at all.

First of all, Marty McFly is a popular high school student whose best friend is an eccentric nuclear physicist.  Conventional wisdom (and just about every fiction writing book or advice blog I’ve ever read) would dictate that this is a pretty heavy plot-point and warrants some explanation.  But the narrative never questions it, and as such neither does the vast majority of its audience.  

It is in this exact manner that Back to the Future handles its heaviest of all plotpoints, the act of time travel, which is the main driving force behind its entire plot.  

How does it explain Doc Brown’s ability to time travel?  Well, he invented the Flux Capacitor, of course.  What is a Flux Capacitor, you ask?  How does it work, exactly?  Well, fucked if I know.  All I know is that the narrative treats it like it’s a real thing, and by default, so do I.    

The same could be said for the magically changing family portrait, the fact that the characters can’t interact with their past or future selves without universal destruction, flying cars, and the fact that the McFlys’ future children inexplicably look exactly like them.  None of it makes any sense.  And it’s fucking magical.

Another of my favorite examples of this is pre-Moffat Doctor Who.  The science is campy, occasionally straight-up ridiculous, and unabashedly nonsensical, yet paves the way for some truly great and thought provoking storylines and commentary.  

Bottom line is, I don’t know how to time travel.  I’m guessing you don’t either, otherwise you probably wouldn’t be asking me for advice on how to write it.  Accept it.  Embrace it.  Don’t be bashful about it – trust me, time travelers are probably a minority in your readership, so they won’t judge you.

So as to what would be a good means of writing time travel, the short answer is:  any way you want.  For obvious reasons, I’d stay away from old cars, police boxes, and phone booths, but with the power of the suspension of disbelief, virtually nothing is off the table:  a pair of magic sneakers, a refrigerator, a closet, a treehouse -oh, crap, that one’s been done before.  But you get the picture.  You can be as creative as you want to be about it.  Don’t be afraid to step outside the police box, so to speak.  

Trust in the magic of the suspension of disbelief, and don’t overthink things.  Your story and readers will thank you.

As for how to avoid other cliches, that brings me to my next point: 

2.  Look at the tried and true tropes of time traveling.  Now subvert them.

This might just be me and my adoration of irony talking, but since you specifically asked how to avoid cliche I’m going to indulge myself here.

Do the exact opposite of what people expect from narratives about time travel.  You know the old trope:  the protagonist steps on a bug, and comes back to the present to find the world being ruled by gorillas.  

I’m not telling you not to include drastic consequences for time travel, because there would probably be quite a few (at least if you believe in the chaos theory, which states every action has a universal reaction.)  

But you could toy around with the idea that fate isn’t something that can ultimately be altered at all, and that all the protagonist accomplishes is solidifying (or even triggering) a pre-existing outcome.   

My knee-jerk suggestion, as someone who takes fiendish glee in incorporating humor into my writing, would be to make the protagonist have some Forrest Gump-type encounters that unwittingly trigger huge, history-defining event, but it can also be significantly more tragic than that:  maybe the protagonist goes back in time to save his father from a hit-and-run car accident, for example, and then accidentally kills him.  Or perhaps he realizes that his father was a bad man (beat his mother, planned on killing someone, etc.) and makes a moral decision to kill him (which is also a great way to ask philosophical questions.  More on that later.)  

I don’t know what kind of time travel your writing or what your style of writing is, but these are things I’d personally just love to play around with.    

Or maybe time travel does change things, but it’s not even close to what the protagonist expected:  maybe his words of wisdom to his newly married mother about true love and the meaning of life and whatnot unexpectedly lead her to realize that she’s deeply unhappy in her current marriage, and he returns to the present to find her divorced (lesbian stepmom optional.)  

Maybe absolutely nothing at all changes, but he realizes that he’s responsible for some famous Mandela Effect, like the Bearenstein/Bearenstain discrepancy.  

Bottom line is, don’t be afraid to do the unexpected.  But conversely, don’t be afraid to use tried and true tropes, either:  regardless of how overdone they may seem to be, they can almost always be rejuvenated when interjected with a thought-provoking plot.

Which brings me to my final point:

3.  Make sure it has something to say.

Science fiction, especially the speculative variety, tends to be best when it begins by asking a question, for which it will later provide an answer.  Take, for example, Planet of the Apes.  The pervasive question of the movie is whether or not humanity is inherently self-destructive, which it ultimately answers with its famed final plot twist that humanity has long since destroyed itself.  

Rod Serling (who was incidentally responsible for the original Planet of the Apes, by the way) did this remarkably well:  almost every episode of the Twilight Zone packed a massive philosophical punch due to the fact that they followed this simplistic formula.  The episode would begin with the presentation of a question, big or small (frequently by the charismatic Serling himself) and by the end of the episode, that question would be answered. 

I’m not going to go in to detail here, as it would spoil the magic of uncovering the plot twists for the first time, but Serling used his speculation to tackle the narrow-mindedness of beauty standards in Eye of the Beholder, the dangers of fascism in Obsolete Man, the communist paranoia of the time period with the Monsters are Due on Maple Street, and countless more.  

I would recommend watching the original Twilight Zone for almost anyone looking to write speculative fiction such as time travel. 

Even if your work isn’t compatible with this specific formula of Question => Debate => Answer (which some work isn’t) it will still need to have some kind of underlying statement to it, or no matter how clever the science fiction is or how original the time travel is, it will fall flat.  

This is why Twilight Zone, Planet of the Apes, Back to the Future, and (pre-Moffat, as I always feel inclined to stress – he does literally the opposite of almost everything I recommend here) Doctor Who still remain widely enjoyed today, despite the fact that many of their tropes have been used many, many times since they original aired.

So for time travel, remember that it is a means, not an end.  You could write the most cliched type of time travel story imaginable, and your audience will still feel fulfilled by it if your message is heartfelt, thought-provoking, and/or poignant.

Maybe you want to use time travel to make a statement about your belief in the existence of fate, or lack thereof.  In this case, using the Sterling Approach, you would have your story begin with the question of whether or not humans can alter or change destiny, allow the narrative/characters to argue the question back and forth for a while, and then ultimately disclose what you believe the answer to be.

Or maybe you want to use time travel to explore or subvert the treachery of history and how it is taught, and show how the true narrative can be explored, purposefully or otherwise, by the victors.  

Maybe you want to show that there’s no clear answer, or maybe no answer at all, a la the cheerful nihilism of Douglas Adams novels.

Either way, figure out what you want your message to be long before you put pen to paper, and then use time travel, like any other creative trope, as a means to an end to answer it.  Your story will thank you for it.

(I hope this helps!)

2

Awendaw, SC / Oct. 2017 

A great horned owl has been a frequent late night visitor to the empty lot next to my house these past few months. Their preferred perch seems to be the radio antenna tower that sits out alongside the utility poles. 

I lucked into getting a few photos of them in silhouette during a full moon last month. Today is my birthday and in the early hours of the morning I gladly cashed in my birthday wish when I came home to the sound of two owls hoo-hooing. 

Breeze blown black cat shadows. Curious observers cut out in moonlight before a waxing gibbous. My late night visitor had made a friend. 

May all your mice be slow. Hoo-hoo!

anonymous asked:

hi, could you tell me why people think sirius was in an abusive home please? it's been awhile since i read the books i don't remember anything about that

Of course.
The subject of Sirius’ past abuse rises in Order of the Phoenix and it’s canon that he was at least verbally and emotionally abused by his family til he left home.
I’m just gonna do a quick search and pull some quotes from OOTP. 

“Yoooou!” she howled, her eyes popping at the sight of the man. “Blood traitor, abomination, shame of my flesh!” (Portrait of Walburga Black to Sirius, OOTP Chapter 4)

This is Walburga’s portrait so it’s only a glimpse of her, i can’t imagine the things Sirius heard before he could finally leave Grimmauld Place.
Now, the books are told from Harry’s POV so the hints of Sirius’ abuse are somewhat subtle. Sirius doesn’t speak of his past home life explicitly, maybe because he didn’t have time to deal with it himself either or maybe because he doesn’t want to burden his 15 year old godson with his problems, but it’s all there in the books.

Kreacher bowed again and said, “Whatever Master says,” then muttered furiously, “Master is not fit to wipe slime from his mother’s boots, oh my poor Mistress, what would she say if she saw Kreacher serving him, how she hated him, what a disappointment he was —” (OOTP Chapter 6)
 
“Leave?” Sirius smiled bitterly and ran a hand through his long, unkempt hair. “Because I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal … my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them … that’s him.”
…. 
“He was younger than me,” said Sirius, “and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded.” (Sirius about his family, OOTP Chapter 6)

Another example of both verbal and emotional abuse Sirius suffered.
We don’t know much about Sirius’ father, but this quote makes me believe that he wasn’t quiet involved with his family’s home life as his wife was.

“It was my father’s,” said Sirius, throwing the ring into the sack. “Kreacher wasn’t quite as devoted to him as to my mother, but I still caught him snogging a pair of my father’s old trousers last week.” (OOTP Chapter 4)


Whether he himself abused Sirius or not, he had not qualms about disowning his own son or the abuse his wife inflicted on him. That’s negligent at best (which still counts as abuse in my book.), though i do think that he also verbally and emotionally abused Sirius at some time.

Then, there’s also Kreacher, who Sirius absolutely loathes.
This is just my own reading, but i think Kreacher also took part in the abuse Sirius suffered, maybe directly or indirectly. This quote, in my opinion, supports my theory.

 “He’s been alone too long,” said Sirius, “taking mad orders from my mother’s portrait and talking to himself, but he was always a foul little —” (Sirius about Kreacher, OOTP Chapter 6) 

Sirius is also uncomfortable and resentful of having to stay alone in the house with Kreacher, no matter how invisible he is.

 “I don’t know,” said Sirius, “I haven’t seen anyone from the Order all weekend, they’re all busy. It’s just been Kreacher and me here…” 
There was a definite note of bitterness in Sirius’s voice. (OOTP Chapter 14) 


There’s also the fact that Sirius was incredibly unhappy because he was back at his childhood home and having to spend time around anything remind him of his family.

Hasn’t anyone told you? This was my parents’ house,” said Sirius. “But I’m the last Black left, so it’s mine now. I offered it to Dumbledore for headquarters — about the only useful thing I’ve been able to do.” 
Harry, who had expected a better welcome, noted how hard and bitter Sirius’s voice sounded. (OOTP Chapter 5)

Sirius heaved another great sigh, cast a dark look at the tapestry, and he and Harry went to join the others. (OOTP Chapter 6) 

 “I don’t like being back here,” he said, staring across the drawing room. “I never thought I’d be stuck in this house again.” (Sirius, OOTP Chapter 6)

Sirius’ mental state during the time he spends in Grimmauld makes me wonder the severity of his abuse. After all, his parents were proud of Regulus for joining the Death Eaters, were they really above physically abusing their children who they “hated” that much? Even if they did, i think the only person Sirius would share it with would have been James so it’s normal that we don’t get a confirmation of this.

Speaking of Sirius’ mental state, all through OOTP Sirius shows clear signs of PTSD and chronic depression, this always gets discarded as Sirius being moody, immature, emotionally unstable or just bored. He tries to repress his feelings which leads to explosive arguments later (Molly, Snape). Sirius already can’t deal with his feelings and he’s constantly getting scorned for his behavior. Wiizarding world is so uneducated on mental health that instead of helping Sirius; they provoke, knowingly trigger and further shut him in a house he was abused in. (I don’t buy for a second that Dumbledore didn’t know what Sirius went through in that house.)
Now look what you’ve made me do, i made myself sad again thinking of my favorite star prince.

Book of Mormon Fanfiction Recommendations (Mostly McPriceley)

 These are my favorite Book of Mormon fanfictions. These are mostly McPriceley because most more than half of the fanfictions that the Book of Mormon archive has is McPriceley. This is a much bigger list than my other one. Extras at the end and if I find more in the future, check the notes.

Bold and italicized are my favorites.

I do not own any of these.

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anonymous asked:

Is it alright if I ask about your sketching process for your portraits? Like guidlines and how to use them and such? I'm trying to learn realism, and I was wondering about it! If not, thats alright!

Hey Anon!
Of course! :D Happy to talk about it. I just say all this with a grain of salt- Everyone has different ways for constructing faces and starting a piece, and I don’t think there’s any one “right” way better than another. Just how I do it? I even have gotten frustrated with my construction methods in the past, and purposely ground-up re-taught myself a new technique. So it’s always fun to add more things to your repertoire!

I basically start with like a circle + middle vertical line, and then make the overall shape of the skull. Past that I add lines for where the eyes & nose will fall (middle, then middle of the bottom half respectively), and I often use vertical lines for “boundaries” on the sides of the face that double as cheekbones, because I have a tendency to Anime-out and make the face fill up too much of the skull for that realistic look. :B;;;

Here’s a breakdown of a Seb portrait I did where I used those guides to help build in the face, lightened my sketch and bumped up the important parts, then added shading and such.

Here’s the same kinda guidelines broken down really quickly in a profile sketch.

That’s basically what I do! I love starting with shapes: circle and especially boxes- because when it comes to complex angles, simple shapes with these guidelines can really help get all those bits in the right places where your eye can be tricked.

Thanks for the ask! I’m also tickled you find my art style to be realistic, gack, it’s all eye of the beholder! I’m always trying to improve my realism too. Best way to do that: reference! All the reference!! :D hahaha! But just keep drawing, you’ll get there! (and me too)

10

I cleaned my room today and found all of my sketchbooks scattered everywhere. I stopped and looked through them again for the first time in who knows how long, so please indulge my trip through memory lane

Well friends, I’ve officially moved off to college. I just wanted to thank all my followers, old and new, for your support of my blog and the random doodles that I post here. I never thought I’d get this far, and you have definitely inspired me and encouraged me along the way! While I won’t have as much time to do fanart and requests as I’ve had in the past, I plan on posting as often as possible and keeping you updated on my endeavors at school studying animation! You all are wonderful and I can’t wait to step into this next chapter of my life with you! God bless <3

6

I hate to make dire posts like this, but my recent health issues have decided to flare up again which has put me out of work this past week, and on top of it all I have my ridiculously overpriced hospital bills hanging over my head.   

I am really hoping to take some quick bust portrait commissions to help with my bills this month; so I made a separate post to showcase the kind of artwork that I can do quickly! 

I’m going to discount the color portraits to $35, and the sketch busts to $20 for the next week or so only. 

Same rules as my usual commissions apply, please message/email at destinyapostasy@gmail.com if you are interested :) 

Just need to get this out--

I’m seeing a lot of people disappointed with this era.  I get that.  That’s how I felt with 1989.  When I heard Shake It Off and watched the livestream, it was totally outside of my expectations.  I was actually nervous for 1989 to come out.

I didn’t like WTNY or OOTW (at first).  I already had it in my head that I was unhappy.  But as I listened to the album all the way through, my entire perspective changed.  Blank Space gave me this feeling of euphoria, All You Had To Do Was Stay made me jump up and down.  I Know Places had me screaming out the window of my car.  I understood the body of work she had created, beyond my opinion of a few songs.

Before this era, I had NO expectations.  I thought she’d release this past spring at the latest.  So when LWYMMD appeared out of nowhere–which I didn’t expect particularly because the trial had just ended–I was overjoyed.  I loved that she was going with this totally psycho sound that meant she was willing to try anything, which for Taylor means she’s going to give us her best.  Ready For It is one of my favorite non-ballad Taylor songs lyrically.  

The lack of candids, interviews, etc. is not fun; I agree.  Yes, it can sometimes seem like she is less present.  BUT YOU GUYS…  

WE HAVE ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-FOUR PAGES OF HIGH-QUALITY PHOTOS/POEMS/HANDWRITTEN LYRICS/PAINTINGS COMING OUR WAY.

If you compiled all of her promo from past eras and assessed it on quality, I believe this era would rank better by a landslide.

Here is my reasoning:

1. Yes, candids are fun.  But we are getting personal photos.  Taylor was already very selective when it came to her Instagram account.  So imagine how selective she will be here.

2. Paintings.  PAINTINGS.  I don’t even know what to say there.

3. Poetry, which is potentially the most incredible gift she has ever given us.  I am going to write a post about my poetry predictions after finishing this.

4. Portraits, much like what we would get from magazine editorials, except she chooses the photographers and she casts the vision, which is one million times better.

5. Handwritten lyrics, potentially with lyric changes/alterations.  WHICH PROVIDES SO MUCH INSIGHT INTO EACH SONG.

So much of the “promo” we’re used to is repetitive, lacking depth, invasive, and impersonal.  Shouldn’t we be happy?

Can we all just trust the master at work here?  Each week she has come online, slipped some info to the public, released a BTS video, and given us opportunities to connect with each other and work towards those front row seats. 

I imagine that October (which is next week, ya’ll) will be much more “exciting” in the traditional sense.  So let’s be grateful and open-minded like I wish I’d been before 1989.  I missed out on a lot of chances to be excited, and let’s be real– If we are on here then we love Taylor too much to ever be truly disappointed.

XO,
MF

10

Kick-Ass Chicks: Luki O’Keefe

There’s something about Luki’s photos that standout amongst the thousands of other surf photographers, and for us it’s the way she captures tranquil moments in the ocean with a modernized retro vibe that gives us all the nostalgic feels. We’ve spent hours scrolling through her Instagram feed getting lost in the serene colors and gorgeous light she snaps, and just had to learn more about her. We’re chatting with Luki about how she inherited her love for the ocean, and what her dream shoot would be (hint hint, this one includes time travel!).

Keep reading

RWBY Musings: Gonna take a wild guess as to what I think Oscar’s semblance might be as I believe it could play a role in helping Jaune to finally awaken his.

According to what Ren said in Chapter 4, it is stated that one’s personality can define their semblance or vice versa. That being said, my guess for Oscar’s semblance is something to do with his mind, particularly the way how his mind is right now.

What if…and this is stretch here…Oscar’s semblance will have something to do with dreams and memories which will then grant him a more enhanced ability to connect to others through his mind.

(Fasten your seat belts and grab yourself a snack readers. This is gonna be a long one)

Keep reading

Why is so important that we’re all beautiful?

I started thinking about this after posting my self portrait where I included wrinkles, grey hair and moles. So many people immediately told me I was beautiful based on it, and while I understand that the intentions are good, I also wondered “Why?”

You see, I’m not beautiful. This is not coming from low self esteem. It’s just a fact. If you walked past me on the street you would not think to yourself “Wow that woman over there is so good looking”. I’d go by you unnoticed except maybe for my super short hair, which depending on your personality you might think is cool or ugly.

And that is okay. Being beautiful has never been a priority of mine. I don’t need to be the kind of person who other people masturbate to.

I don’t think my stretch marks, my fat, my body hair or my wrinkles make me beautiful. But you know what it makes me? A human.

I love people’s imperfections. I’m the kind of person who tries to sneak a peek at that short arm you’ve had since birth. Not in a “look at the freak” sort of way, but because it makes you interesting. I want to talk to you and learn what your life is like. I’ve had many friends in my life who I got to know through their glass eye/lost fingers/severe acne/whatever and then we soon moved on from there because humans are so much more than their bodies.

Of course beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we’re all beautiful to someone, but that’s nothing new. And I really really don’t believe we’re all beautiful because “beauty comes from the inside” because there are a lot of shitty people in this world who haven’t got their personality going for them.

I suppose if it’s for some reason important to you that everybody are beautiful then keep going, but we are also a lot of people who don’t think it’s important for us or others to be beautiful in any literal or metaphorical sense. “Beautiful” shouldn’t be the new word for “you have worth”.

You don’t have to love whatever you see as your imperfections because you have a lot more going for you. Seriously, my facial expression is a perfect case of “Well DUH” right now, and yours should be too.

I know a lot of people are going to be angry about this for one reason or another and try to shoot this post down and tell me everybody ARE beautiful and I’m horrible for saying otherwise.

But you have to understand that this is coming form a place of sincere love and concern. Most of us are ugly, average at best, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You don’t have to force yourself into thinking you’re beautiful. Take that ridiculous load off your shoulders and come hang out with us other humans. You’re not beautiful, but how do you manage to keep all your plants alive? Sing for me with that amazing voice. Tell me that cool story about how you almost died that one time. Omg what did your cat do last night?! Are you still into rock music? Tell me about your home country. Share your knowledge about Aztec religion with me. Wow you’re really starting to find your own art style.

These things are not a desperate attempt at finding other things you can work with because you’re not beautiful. You are not a slap of meat I need to want to fuck on sight to want to be around.

“You’re beautiful” is not the highest praise you can give others, and it doesn’t validate anything else about you. You are the spice of this world that makes it interesting, and people who don’t get that are the kind of people who doesn’t have their personality going for them.

The Sneering

I worked at a HomeBADS store last winter. The whole place was built in the ruins of an old SNEERS ROEBUTT & Co. department store.

THE INTERVIEW

My boss, Mr. U (officious little prick) trained me in my duties, such as helping customers, opening up and closing, heating different sections of the building, dumping the old boiler, and making sure the elements don’t get a foothold.

He told me that this HomeBADS was built on the ruins of an old SNEERS ROEBUTT & Co. department store, and that when they were opening HomeBADS here, they actually had to repel a few SNEERS employee attacks. He also informed me that my predecessor went crazy a few winters ago and killed his coworkers, then himself. One of my coworkers warned me to stay out of the old swimwear section (or rather what used to be the old swimwear section when this place was still SNEERS), something bad happened there once.

ONE MONTH LATER

As I made my rounds, did my daily routine and duties, the place….seemed to take on a life of its own. I felt like I had been here before, but this was my first time here, as far as I knew. I was walking through the isles on a slow winter day, and saw two twin girls holding hands. They were wearing HomeBADS uniforms, and I said “Oh…I didn’t realize you two worked here.” They grinned at me and said “Come work with us….forever….and ever….and ever!” Then they disappeared.

Wierd.

MONDAY

I was walking about the aisles, when a doe eyed, red haired woman in sneakers, tights, legwarmers, a leotard, an elastic belt, and a sweatband with wrist sweat cuffs was staring blankly ahead at me. “Can I help you, ma'am?” I asked her. “I’m looking for a small trampoline. Where can I find that?” she asked in a sad monotone voice. “Well, we don’t carry…” I replied, but before I could finish, she let out a sad sight and vanished, she liked like dust blowing in a breeze as she faded away. “What the hell…!?” was all I could say.

TUESDAY

A group of kids in bright colored clothes and hairstyles I haven’t seen in over 25 years approached me and asked me where the Nintendo Games were, they asked if we carried the…“Power Pad” and the games for it. I blinked for a second, and they were gone.

WEDNESDAY

“Emily! The war is over! Come, I have a coupon! Let us gather the family, and have our picture taken at the portrait studio!”

A well dressed army officer, in an outdated uniform walked about the store, calling out to someone I couldn’t see.

“The hounds, Emily! The hounds are hungry! The hounds are calling!”

THURSDAY

I walked about the store aisles, grunting, shaking, thrusting my arms. I saw the elevator doors open, and blood pouring out of them ahain, as I had been seeing for a while. Whenever I reported these strange incidents, nobody believed me so I stopped getting concerned. The phantom customers, spooky “coworkers”, and odd occurrences in general became the norm for me.

I went up to an old jewelry counter, and buried my face in my hands, moaning. Then I looked up and I saw Floyd at the counter. “Hello, Floyd! How ya’ doing?”. Floyd smiled at me, and said “Oh I’m just fine, madame. And yourself?”.

“Things could be better, Floyd. Things could be better.” I said. I looked around. “Things are kinds slow around here, huh Floyd?”. “Yes, madame.” I smiled and we talked about the store about things in general. Floyd suggested I try on this beautiful necklace that “just came in”. It was exquisite! I saw it in the small mirror on the counter and I said “I’ll take it!”. I opened my wallet but found no cash.

“Say, Floyd. I seem to be temporary light here. How’s my credit?”. Floyd replied with “No worries, your credit is fine!” All you have to do is kill your coworkers!“.

"Well, I dunno…” I said.

“They’ll be happier as ghosts, just like the customers.” Floyd assured me. “You don’t seem that happy.” I replied. “Oh, what? I’m happy, I’m VERY happy! ‘La-la-la-lalalala! I’m happy!’ Now waste your coworkers, and the necklace is yours!” Floyd replied in an exasperated tone.

FRIDAY

I walked into a section of the store where I wasn’t supposed to go, and I saw swimsuits hanging up. And curtained dressing rooms.

A woman opened the curtain of one of the dressing rooms. She wore a one piece, striped swimsuit from another era. “Does this make me look fat?” she asked me. I took another look and saw a cadaverous woman in that same swimsuit. She walked towards me arms outstretched, and went “BWAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHA! AHHHH HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!” I freaked out and ran out of there.

FEBRUARY

I found myself at a typewriter, typing over and over again. I happened to notice that the words on the paper were “COME SEE THE SOFTER SIDE OF SNEERS” over and over again.

Later that day, a man who looked like Al from Home Improvement asked me where he could find the hardware department, and as I was about to tell him we didn’t have a hardware department, this is HomeBADS, he vanished.

I then ran into a man who used to be a manager here at HomeBADS, not long ago. His name was Grody…Dullbert Grody…he told me how his coworkers were upset by this place, and by him…one of them even stole a box of matches, and tried to burn the place down, but he…corrected them. He said I needed to do the same, if I were to be an effective manager.

My coworkers became concerned with my behavior. At one point, I had one of them cornered on the staircase, and she had to knock me out with a baseball bat, drag me to a closet in the breakroom and lock me in there. “You can come out when you’re no longer insane!”.

I ate the snacks and sipped the bottled water stored in there. Someone knocked on the closet door. “This is Mr. Grody, madame. The ghouls and I are concerned with the progress, or rather lack thereof, regarding you and your coworkers. We did give you that lovely necklace, and we would hate to take it back!” Said Mr. Grody. “Can’t talk, eating!” I said with a mouthful of ultra stale Eagle potato chips that had been in that storage room forever. “Oh for God’s sake!” said Mr. Grody. The door opened, and all of the ghost customers and my ghost coworkers, including Floyd and Mr. Grody, pulled me put of the storage closet as I kicked and screamed. They handed me an axe, and Mr. Grody told me to get to work.

I chopped open a door and said “It’s the Caroll Burnett show, brought to you by SNEERS…!” an empty room. “Damn!” I walked off, but not before tugging my ear.

I chopped open another door and sang the opening theme to the Tracy Ullman show. This time I was looking at an empty stairwell. “Damn!”

Finally, I chopped open a door someone had written “REDRUM” on for some reason, and I shouted through the hole “LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!” and I gave a devilish grin though the hole. “AHHHHHH!” My coworkers scattered like rabbits. I chased after all of them, limping as I held the axe, my necklace gently swishing about.

I went though what used to be the shoe section of SNEERS, and saw phantom customers sitting on chairs that were no longer there, just floating there, trying on shoes none of them sold here at HomeBADS.

I ran through the old electronics section past phantom kid customers standing in front of store demo game setups that were no longer there, as they help NES controllers that were plugged into nothing.

I ran past the exercise equipment, the doe eyed woman I had first seen now happily bouncing on a small trampoline. “I’ll take it!” she said.

I chased my coworkers all over the store. We ran through the old portrait studio, and almost ruined a phantom family’s photo session with the photographer.

My coworkers escape outside, and I chased them, shouting “I’m coming!” along with indistinguishable howling. I eventually sat in the snow, and I froze solid.

My brother came to get me. “I spoke to your boss. He was really mad about you chopping holes in the doors, and scaring your coworkers like that. He has no idea where you got this axe, but you can’t bring something like that to work. He says you’re fired, and he gave me your last paycheck, to give to you.”

I said nothing.

“You wanna go home, get showered and changed?” he asked me. “NO.” I replied.

“You wanna stay there some more and be frozen?” my brother asked me. “Yes.” I replied.

“You want me to bring you some Carl’s the Third?” he asked me. “Okay.” I replied.

“What do you want from Carl’s the Third?” my brother asked. “3 piece chicken tenders. Small fries, and small Dr. Pepper.” I replied. My brother nodded, put an amazing-on gift card in my shirt pocket, wrapped me in a blanket from his car trunk, kissed me on the forehead, and said “I’ll be right back. Nice necklace, by the way.” I said nothing more than “Thank you.”

A few minutes later, my boss walked up to me with a troubled expression, and showed me an old black and white framed picture that he had found in the building. It had a crowd of grinning people, in period attire, and at the front of the crowd was a woman who looked EXACTLY LIKE ME, but her clothes were different, and she was wearing the same necklace as mine. The caption on the photo just below her in the picture read

“SNEERS ROEBUTT & Co. COMPANY PICNIC, JULY 4TH, 1921”

anonymous asked:

do you have any falsettos/whizzvin fic recs? i love your writing and literally tore through all your works these past 3 days lol😅 thank you so much for blessing us all with your amazing fics🙏🏼🙏🏼 and take your time on finishing that college au, try not to stress too much :D

I’ve already previously listed my three faves in an earlier post but just for reference, I’ll just quickly list them right here (The End of All Our Exploring, portrait of a family, and Of Racquets and Leather Jackets ). Here’s a list of (COMPLETED) Falsettos fics that I’ve enjoyed (in no particular order).

1. The MA College AU That Nobody Asked ForMake Anything Work, and What is Normal? by Cade Welentine.

2. one more kiss? by whizzercandoit

3. Don’t Talk To Me About Taste by SilverTonguedWriter

4. The Things I’ve Never Had and stupid, charming men by stardustandswimmingpools

5. Let The Scene Turn to White by broadwayiscooliguess

6. Your Pain is A Priori by Writing_Doodle

7. sunday morning by ftwnhgn

8. father to (step)son by foreversummer

Feel free to reblog and add more if I missed any (which I probs definitely did bc I did this a little fast). Tbh, I might add more when I feel like looking further and maybe even adding some incomplete fics. But here’s like a starter pack, I guess??

4.7.2017 // Today was the last day of my first year at university! I still can’t believe that it’s already over, and even though I don’t have all my grades yet, I’m looking forward to my holidays 😊
In the picture you can see me with all the books and papers I had to read and learn the past year 😁