and this video is just too much

Linkin Park & Me

If you’ve ever gotten to know me, you know that I’m a Linkin Park fan. Like a really, really, REALLY big Linkin Park fan. I’ve never been one to stan too hard over anything, but I’m a Linkin Park stan. For a long time, Linkin Park has been more than just a favorite band, they’ve been a crucial part of my identity since I was thirteen.

I don’t remember when exactly I first heard of Linkin Park. It was at the end of the seventh grade. The name intrigued me, but I wasn’t really into heavy metal. I remember seeing the video for “One Step Closer” on the wall of TVS at Wet Seal, and being shocked at how much I liked it. Then summer came along. I was watching MTV during a stretch of videos in the middle of the day, and the video for “Crawling” came on. I sat with my jaw open throughout the whole thing. It was utterly rapturous. Beautiful. The most incredible thing I had ever, ever, ever heard. 

At the time, the biggest music act in the world around me was Britney Spears, whose hyper-sexualized little girl act revolted me (the older, more mature well-versed in feminism me still finds the act revolting, but with a more nuanced understanding of female sexuality and the male gaze). With the notion ingrained in my head that being a typical teenage girl meant tiny clothing, suggestive lyrics, and lots of belly-wiggling and hip thrusting, being a “freak” was a refuge. I wasn’t here to shake my ass and coyly tell the world that I was a virgin. I was a chubby girl who was never going to look like Britney, and being a “freak” was how I asserted that I had more to offer than just sexy flesh.

I got emo glasses that were just like Chester’s, thick black, rectangular glasses that I’ve worn ever since. I bought a new wardrobe at Hot Topic. I hung out with a bunch of other “freaks” who adored Linkin Park. On the morning of 9/11, I remember having an argument with my friends over what happened in the “Crawling” video. I listened to Hybrid Theory on the bus ride home every day. I listened to it falling asleep. I made my first serious attempt at writing something. 

That’s the other part of my identity, I’m a writer. A writer and a Linkin Park fan, those are the two intractable parts of who I am and who I want to be that stays the same through everything and around which everything else is built. Everything, every poem, every blog post, every novel, every script, EVERYTHING, I write with the intention of being as good as Linkin Park’s music is. That’s always been my highest ambition, to write something that makes someone else feel like I feel when I listen to Linkin Park. I don’t know if I’ve achieved that goal yet, but I still want to.

I’ve struggled with teen angst, ADD, and depression, and Linkin Park helped give voice to all of that. In a vast, dark sea of love songs, sex songs, and songs about money, drugs, and riches, songs about emotions and experiences rife with darkness was something I could relate to. I sometimes joke about today’s pop music’s lack of angst, “What do kids these days listen to when they want to *feel* something?” 

I always wanted to meet Chester Bennington, but, now I’ll have to accept the fact that I never will. It fucking hurts. But I can still say what I’d hoped to say to him: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For being so unique, for writing such incredible music, for being in my life. From the deepest part of my soul, thank you for existing.

anonymous asked:

Hello Mimi! I've been seeing a lot of gifs/videos about the whole jikook (and J-Hope) Christmas thing. Like when Jm asks Jk about what he desires for his birthday, and then he points to Jm... I'm not sure where to find it... I've searched on vlive, and safari. I just can't seem to find it. I was hoping, if it isn't too much trouble, that you could take a look into it. That's all! I hope you have a great night! (Where I am)

It’s [D-6] KBS Song Festival (151224). It’s on Vlive but not on BTS channel, you can find it on V special HERE ^^

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

Have a great day/night too ~

Also don’t you guys think that 2 vids a week is a little too much?. I mean they’ve addressed the issue of being under pressure to upload a video once a week when they were on tour. I don’t want them to feel like they need to do this for us, like they are obliged to post twice a week. I don’t want their job, us, to become a pressure to them. If they ever feel to need to just stop and breath i am 110% there. I’ve just been feeling like they’re struggling to find ideas and have time to post twice a week, and even though i loved all their videos i encourage them to hit the pause on life if they ever need too

anonymous asked:

only antis manage to go 2+2=20993843. there's a video going around of lauren saying sh1dge have a more family/mentor relationship at the moment which makes sense looking at canon and antis are celebrating saying she's just killed she1th. she never even mentioned she1th. according to folks there she1th legit never even came up. what kind of contorted reaching do you have to do when you're THIS delusional? i knew the bullshit was gonna be a special kind of stupid but this is too much.

Honestly anti logic is just beyond me these days I don’t even try to understand it anymore like how tf you can listen to someone talking about Sh/idge and get something about sh/eith out of it is beyond me

happy (?) anniversary, holmies! it’s so crazy to think it’s been five years already. but, at the same time, it seems like so much longer. it’s hard to remember a time when james wasn’t in my mind. i’ve been trying to put it all into words, everything these last five years has meant to me. this shit is hard! it’s already a novel. I tried to take my usual, lazy route and just make a video, but I keep getting all emotional and lame lol. there’s just too much for one post. too many feels. all of them, actually. so I think I need to just make several. one for each emotion. spaced out over some days. so if my heated and not always so popular opinions are something you’re into, stay tuned for that. I didn’t end up going to the theater last night. last year there was nothing and no one there and it was weird and depressing. not that I’m into the victim jams, but at least before, they would be across the street, the police were there for their parade thing. it felt like something, if that makes any sense. the victims had their thing over where the memorial will be. just so everyone knows, even if I wanted to go to a victim thing, I would not. that is for them, it’s meant to be helpful and healing for them. I do not belong there. they know what I’m about and would not be happy to see me. I don’t like them, but I do not wish to hurt them any further. so I stayed home. my apologies if anyone was wanting me to be there. for now, I want to thank all of the amazing people here for being a part of this with me. it’s been a crazy ride! we’ve had a lot of fun, and there’s been a lot of hard times we’ve helped each other through. “ad hoc” as we may be, you guys are like my family and I love you very much. @bluerthunderr @jimmys-white-hyundai @rainfallsinrealtime @lullabiesto-paralyze @gotholmes @beardsqueals @119-roc @n0wt-here @james-holmes-files @red-venom-the-fool @allhail-jamesus-blog @exceptionella @yellsdarkness @gonnabeforensicpsych @cheersjames @smokinholmie @aholmiesmind @tlctracy @harleyquinnholmes @llama4jamesholmes @sweet-lala-love @magickholmes @jimbos-bimbo @paradoxboom @desperate-housewitch-blog1 @raisinfied @heybobbie @truthstrangerthanfiction @queen-of-the-slurpee-machine @everyone-has-a-dark-side-darling @theyseemeyawningtheyhating-blog @jamesholmesdoingthings-blog @jimmys-slurpee @jameshoimes @death-by-murder @ceymsinlamasi @dearjamesandarlene @thefootofwhoopi @sturmgeist89 and probably soooo many more that are just escaping me atm.

(Don’t be mad at me, put your Judgy mcjudgerson glasses away 😂, seriously though hear me out)! This week with Jack being gone, and he was still able to torture us through subtle hints in his videos, I felt that it (here comes the hate 😂) was a bit to much! Don’t get me wrong I just loved watching everyone coming to together but because there’s so much stuff going on that I don’t know what’s real or fake, and it’s kind of throwing me off a little bit! I still get excited when everyone else is excited but I feel like all the hints were too close of each other! Because now every time when I watch one of Jacks videos Im always on Anti mode, which doesn’t really make me enjoy the videos for what they are (even though I still love them 😀) I thought it would be better if the hints were more spread out into other videos, instead of being into every single video!

Originally posted by dyingisnotokay

This made me really sad. The twins need to take a break from social media. I don’t care if some “fans” aren’t happy about it. Their mental (and even physical) health should always come first. They need time to relax, spend time with family, have as much fun as possible, sleep, and enjoy being teenagers before it’s too late. They shouldn’t have to be constantly stressing over filming and editing or coming up with an idea for a video I understand they want to do it but, once again, they need a break. Whether it’s a month, two months, or even three. I love the twins but I think I can survive without new videos for a while and I think other fans can too. If you don’t agree with me, then good for you. I just hope they know that it IS okay to take a break and that they do have fans that will support them through it, if they ever do decide to do so.

anonymous asked:

one thing that i always think about in regards to dating Shawn is surprising him on tour or something similar to that. One in particular is over spending the holiday season with his family but not telling him you'll be there, like he comes home to his family's house and you're there as well. I don't know if that made any sense but i definitely think about it way too much.

I love the thought of surprising Shawn. Like all I can think about is how happy and lost with words he is in that video where his dad suddenly shows up and it’s just so cute and all and I love it. 

anonymous asked:

pls tell me theres a video/audio of louis calling nick 'nick' or like a video of the WHOLE interview

Hi anon! The whole audio without songs is here or you can access it via iplayer too if you want the songs. I haven’t seen a full video which isn’t unusual for R1. On the audio I’ve linked here, Louis says ‘Nick’ at around the 6:50 mark. I may have listened a few times *coughs.* There’s a also a podcast available on iplayer but that’s pretty much just a recap of the interviews with Harry and Louis bookended by a bit of chat about Taylor S and Nick being easily distracted as school, LOL.

asoomatic replied to your post “twitter says that a Saesang fan discovered that SNSD have 3 music…”

this can be an advantage for them or the opposite! like that the fans will be torn what mv should they raise views for T0T

aww yeah i see your point, but i’m not to worried! i’m all for 3 music videos because MORE SOSHI CONTENT and they deserve it for their 10th. Youtube views are a fun thing to see (obvs i was promoting igab like crazy for a while there), but I think too much emphasis is placed on views for making people’s bias group the ~~~best which starts up unnecessary fanwars and all that nonsense. When really, after the hype of a group’s release has gone down, it’s just proof of how much free time groups’ fans have ahahhaa

what really matters is getting snsd that DAESANG because soo said she wants it 

jinlian replied to your post: Anyone who still supports Tora and…

i just went to t’s blog and rolled my eyes thats just a lot of bullshit to say im still determined not to homo it

She’s so full of shit and reaching and in the ask she responded to a couple posts down she pretty much implied people were bullshitting about the Otsuka thing like there weren’t videos/transcripts/the whole nine yards. She’s nasty. 

She needs to stop with that fucking relationship without a name no homo shit (lol ‘you need to take it up with sayo’ karice literally said). Sayo means it’s an all encompassing relationship like; they’re not just lovers, they’re also friends and they’re family too, they’re everything to each other, but sure what Sayo means is that they’re not rly gay. 

I need a cooking show where the contestants are tasked with recreating fictional dishes

Like

“Make this dish that showed up in that anime one time - it looks like this and it’s slightly spicy. This is all we know” *shows big picture on a screen*

or

“Your task today is to make a health potion. It should be able to stay preserved for a week in room temperature, at least. But it’s not like we can really check that on a 1 hour show. Still, keep it in mind”

and then the old man who lives alone with two dogs and a cat wins, and the gamer and the anime nerd look at him in horror whispering “how…” to themselves

or something

but yeah I need this

Lives and Aesthetics of the Signs

Aries: Cannon ball diving into the pool, splashing everyone with water, and laughing. Yells obscenities at other drivers that piss them off. Always gets in trouble for being too loud in class. Will take any dare. Refuses to be told what to do and argues even when wrong. The life of the party.

Taurus: Sitting at the dinner table, eating, while reading a book on local edible plants. Goes for walks and puts random things he finds in his mouth. Will take any eating-related dare. Has tried just about every “strange” food known to man. Isn’t afraid of the “30-second” rule.

Gemini: Makes silly puns. Watches YouTube videos of baby animals and shows them to all of her friends. Full of questions. Constantly raises her hand in class, and can elaborate on a subject for an infinite amount of time. The one to start every conversation and the first to make friends in a new environment. Her laughter sounds like bubbles.

Cancer: Watches Disney movies way too much and probably cries during most of them. Shy. Avoids big responsibilities, often for fear of letting others down. Prefers to stay indoors and at home. Their “happy place” is inside, reading a good book, while wrapped in a cozy blanket on a rainy day. Very good at making up stories. Has vivid dreams and daydreams. Pretty good at baking.

Leo: Spends a lot of money on music festival tickets. Owns an entire shelf of different hair care products. Wears “loud” clothes and accessories to stand out. The friendliest jock you will ever meet. Great taste in the people they surround themselves with; they have no tolerance for bullies. Parties harder than anyone they know, and always posts photos of what they’re doing on social media. Probably invented beer pong.

Virgo: Owns several calendars. Maybe even a label maker. Has a blog about “Planners”. Finds pleasure in ritualistic cleaning and organizing. Great at planning events. Always prepared. Carries everything they think they might need in the purse they take with them everywhere (“Mary Poppins Bag”). Loves to write, and keeps around a dozen half-filled notebooks in her room. Very good at problem solving. Prefers to work alone.

Libra: Messy. Owns at least one exploding bin of art supplies. Creates everything that decorates her room. Verbally comments to appreciate the beauty surrounding her as she sees it. Stares into your eyes when listening to you. Can make up a conversation about anything. Talks constantly until she forgets that she’s still speaking and trails off. Reads people like books, and uses humor to explore boundaries and learn about others. Avoids confrontation. Good at lying. Can’t own a white shirt because she spills everything on it (food, paint).

Scorpio: Perpetual “emo phase”, internally or externally. Rarely talks about themselves. Can walk into a room and immediately understand the intentions and personality of each person in it, just by looking. Hard shell, soft insides. Their eyes are the only ones that light up and shine in gloomy weather. They can stare into your soul. Only sees things in black or white. Usually has great taste in music. Deeply loyal friends and partners to those they trust. Keeps a lot of secrets, both their own and of those they love.

Sagittarius: Fascinated by other cultures. Has or wants to travel to many different countries. Speaks at least three languages. Either deeply spiritual or religious. Ritualistic. Isn’t afraid to try new things. Loves mystery and adventure books. Very independent, and doesnt like feeling trapped. Has some sort of self-expressive medium that allows them to free their wings (art, music, dance, writing). Self-sufficient.

Capricorn: “Work hard, play hard” mentality. Typically very serious in nature. Always seems much more wise and mature than his peers. Has probably tried hard drugs at one point in his life. Firm in practices and beliefs. Good at keeping their word. Has one big obsession/hobby, like playing a certain game, collecting something, or working on something.

Aquarius: Has a very unique sense of humor that others don’t usually understand. Conspiracy theorist. Loves all helpless creatures and wants to protect them from the world. Activist and rebellious humanitarian. Insanely intelligent, but refuses to apply themselves to the school system. Learns very quickly. Good at public speaking. Probably the “class clown”.

Pisces: Stays home on weekends to sleep in. Has a dream diary. Typically pretty creative and may enjoy abstract painting. Musically gifted. Has been told that they “live in another world”. Slips easily into daydreams, and enjoys indulging in the fantasy worlds of books and stories that they read.