and this one because it's so funny

one of the reasons mental illness sucks so fucking much is because people around you can literally tell you again and again that they love you, that they think you’re cool and funny, that they support you in every way, that you’re talented or intelligent, and no matter how many times they say it you’ll always cringe and shake your head and say “no, no i’m not, really” but the SECOND someone says one bad thing about you, even just once. You believe it completely. 

The real question:

When will we have a character who says “I don’t need a relationship” and then proceeds to NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP AND BE TOTALLY COOL WITHOUT ONE because honestly I’m so fed up with writers forcing romance on characters who clearly don’t want it/don’t care about it

lance: HEY GUYS CHECK THIS OUT *plays the john cena song terribly on a recorder with his nose like in that one vine

keith: stop 

lance: why :(

keith: because *takes out a kazoo* i want in on this so we have to restart 

lance: *tears up* this is why i’m in love with you

Fem!Mint Yoongi feat. Unnecessary Space Background

2

all the boys // panic! at the disco

Translating is hard work. Even with pretty simple translations there can be unexpected difficulties if one of the languages has some funny special rules that apply to everyday life like honorifics and proper address, or words with multiple meanings so instead of asking what time it is you’ll end up asking for a potato. A professional translator can deal with this, of course. But for someone who just knows two pretty different languages, translating even something simple suddenly takes time and ends up getting pretty confusing for everyone involved.

And that leads us to ALIENS!

I think we’ve all read one scifi story or another where an alien is explaining some kind of concept that their species has - it might be related to their Special Sense or something else, but they always conveniently manage to put it in words that the character (and the reader) understand. This makes sense from a storytelling viewpoint, because we’re telling the story to human readers/listeners/viewers who need to understand what’s going on and why.

But it might be fun if the character is teamed up with an alien who gets so confused and/or worked up about some trivial translation that it gets turned into this big whole mysterious deal.

Human: “So, what’s this word mean, ‘thnguwe’?”

Alien: “Thnguwe has… special meaning for our people. It refers to a person’s ability to… form a meaningful connection with another of our kind, and our… entire society is built according to the… concept of thnguwe.”

Human: “How profound! Your civilization has much to teach us!”

Alien #2: “It means ‘talking’. Thnguwe means talking.”

Alien #1: “Oh, talking! I forgot what that word was in human language!”

-YJH and DK are roommates

-They wore couple sweater to airport today 

-YJH has stickers of dk on his phone

-Dk has selfie of him and YJH as a wallpaper on his phone

-DK said that “they are dating” on caratland concert…………..


i bet they are dating.

why jungkook lookin like he’s that one pta mom that always be starting shit at brunch

“Oh so I heard through the grape vine that Linda’s cookies for the bake sale were actually……*whispered* store-bought

“A little birdie told me that little Jonny Banks fell off the honor roll this quarter… *whispered* you didn’t hear it from me but I figure its because Mrs. Banks took him off his gluten free diet *sips soy latte*”

“But I guess thats none of my business anyway….”

~admin midnight

So one of the things I imagine happening after Danny got his ghost powers is that he’s much more light on his feet, and so his family hardly ever hears him when he comes up or down the stairs, and often times scares his mom or dad or Jazz when they don’t realize he’s there until he talks because he’s behind them, and they sometimes tell him he’s like a ghost in the house and its funny because of how true it is even tho they don’t know it, and yea

the thing about falling in love with your best friend is you think they will never hurt you. ย How could someone that you know so well hurt you, right? Thats where it all goes wrong.

We used to spend nights on the phone for hours just laughing and talking about the most pointless things. it seemed like we could never run out of conversation.. Its funny how things change, because now here we are 6 months later, and I canโ€™t even think of a sentence to say to you.
You were always there when I needed it and you were the only one that could ever understand me.
And I thought we crossed the line between friendship and lovers because of all the nicknames and all the flirting and all the hearts and touching under tables and words that you spoke so smoothly. I thought that was all so beyond friendship. but the thing is, just because someone acts like they want more, does not mean they want more. and just because someone seems to be everything you are looking for in a person does not mean that you are also that person for them.
And I used to think that you were so stupid for not seeing what was right there in front of you but the truth is you saw it, you just didnโ€™t want it.
the thing about falling in love with your best friend is, it will destroy you and you wonโ€™t even see it coming.
The truth is, you never know anyone. You can, think you know a person but people will always always always surprise you. and you surprised me in all the worse ways.
because you didnโ€™t love me, and you werenโ€™t even a friend to me to start with but I was too blinded to see any of it, even after you continuously proved it.
You never felt a damn thing for me, ย you just didnโ€™t want to be alone, you just kept me there for when it was convenient for you.
We haven’t spoken in months and you donโ€™t even care, you donโ€™t even realize any of it.
and I just donโ€™t understand it, I donโ€™t understand how its possible to go from talking to someone day after day, to not even texting them to ask how theyโ€™ve been. I donโ€™t understand why you said all these things if you didnโ€™t mean any of them.. and I donโ€™t understand why its been months and Iโ€™m still in the same state you left me in, Iโ€™m still always thinking about you and you donโ€™t give a damn.

—  its always going to be like this
(Newt Scamander x Reader) The Case’s Secret [SMUT]

Title : The Case’s Secret

Request : Yes - anonymous -  I luv your blog and your writing so much !!! Anyway i was wondering if i could request a smutty newt scamander imagine of maybe the reader walking in on newt’s “private time” with himself 👀 if you get my meaning and its just super awkward and funny (hopefully you understand) please and thank you!

Smut : HELL YEAH

Word Count : 1,459

Summary : You caught newt masturbating

A/N : one request down, still more to go! for those of you who requested, please be patient because i choose the request on my will, not according to the list. Because i dont want to be forced to write something when i dont have the inspiration for it. And also, requests are still open! Enjoy this one!

Sequel : http://frostyiceberg.tumblr.com/post/155435491004/newt-scamander-x-reader-spicy-vanilla-smut

————————–

There are grunting sounds coming from Newt’s case.

It had been a rough day for both of you and Newt, as the Niffler had escaped again. You and him was planning to visit Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore himself invited Newt personally after his success on publishing the book. You and Newt wanted to grab some things in the Diagon alley until the little thief escaped.

The two of you chased it through Diagon alley, almost losing it before you lured the Niffler with the sapphire necklace Newt gave you.

Newt was almost hysterical when you did, but he was thankful when you swiftly caught the Niffler and turned it upside down, emptying the little bugger’s pocket. People were a bit angry when they found out the Niffler took their missing stuffs, but you managed to calm them down before Newt got swallowed by the anger of those wizards.

You were going to grab some dinner, but you lost your sack of money and Newt’s was stolen by the Niffler. It’d be impossible to take it from the creature, so you decided to head back to Newt’s old house.

The house was passed down from his parents’, and Theseus, his brother, also got one, but bigger and grander. His brother has always been everyone’s favorite. But it didn’t discourage him, since the house is very cozy.

As you had expected, the house is fairly dirty, with lots of Newt’s books everywhere. He used to keep his most of his beasts in this house, but then he moved them into the magic suitcase. Casting the spell, a wind swept through the house, taking the dust in its way.

Both of you sighed in delight, and he set down his case in the middle of the room, in front of the unlit fireplace and amidst the couch. He stepped into the case, and disappearead without any sound. You shook your head. He always puts his creature before himself.

You decided to cook dinner, using vegetables overgrowing in his small garden. ‘Didn’t know Newt loved to plant too,’ you thought to yourself, swinging your wand to the selected crops. ‘Probably to feed his beasts,’ you think again. The crops floated in the air, following you to the kitchen.

You made an onion stew, something to warm the two of you up after the long day. You used magic with everything to cook, something you don’t usually do. Once the stew was ready, you let it be in the pot, with low heat, so it would be warm when you and Newt are ready to eat.

That’s when you approached his case and hear those grunting sounds.

“Newt?” you call out. You’re replied with some more grunting and panting sound, also a whimper of your name.

It sounds like he’s in pain, so you immediately jump into the case, landing with a loud thud. The room is not the usual Newt’s workplace; it’s a dimly lit room with soft looking sofa in the corner of the room, a coffee table in the middle, and other homely furniture.

The grunting abruptly stops, and you’re eye to eye with a shocked Newt, sitting on the couch, holding his manhood in hand.

He shoves his penis into his pants, and then straightens his shirt and his trousers, trying to look decent despite him being caught red handed.

“[N-Name], I swear I can explain this,” he stutters nervously, his hands wiping onto his trousers.

“I, uh… I don’t really know what to say…”

“I-I’m so sorry…”

“No Newt, you’re not wrong, I, um, I’ll leave you to it if you want…?”

“N-No, it’s okay, I’m sorry about this…”

“Well… Do you want me to help you?” you offer him, shyly taking steps towards the sweating man. You raise your hand and wipe his sweat, and kiss him on the cheek. “Only if you want to though,” you add with another kiss.

“It would be my pleasure, b-but, are you sure?”

You answer him by kneeling in front of him and pull down the zipper of his trousers. His breath hitches on his throat when you put a finger on the wet part of his underwear. You rub the spot teasingly, trying to see the expression Newt makes when you do so.

“[N-Name]… Please… I-I need you…” he begs.

“Is it what you want baby?

“Y-Yes… Please…”

You happily oblige his pleas and pull down his underwear in one quick motion, making his cock springs free. He hisses when his cock meets the cold air, the sudden temperature taking him by surprise.

Your… Sexy time with Newt has never been in this situation before. It will always be him, giving you, and it’s always vanilla. He never demands anything from you, even though you tend to ask or offer him the pleasure he deserves. And this time is your rare chance.

“Ooh… [Name]…”

You wrap your fingers around the shaft, while your thumb makes a circular motion on the tip, spreading the precum on the already slick head. You mercilessly pump his manhood in a slow pace, and he groans in frustration.

“Aaaaghh, [Name], please, please…”

If you didn’t have a heart for this man, you wouldn’t stop being this slow. Heck, you wouldn’t even give him the treatment. But this is Newt Scamander, and you would do anything to make him happy.

You pick up the pumping pace with your hand as you lick the tip of his cock, swiftly enveloping the head with your mouth. You hollow your cheeks, sucking the head before slowly releasing your finger and take him deeper.

He moans loudly when you do so, and out of the corner of your eye, you see him gripping the handrest of the sofa powerfully that it turns his knuckle white.

Not wanting him to hurt himself, you take his cock out of your mouth. He immediately looks at you, face full with confusion. You take both of his hands, kisses both of them, and place it on both sides of your head.

“Don’t hold it by yourself Newt,” you say, looking up to him.

“B-But… I don’t want to hurt you…”

“You won’t.”

Before he can object to anything, you take his cock into your mouth again, this time sucking harder than before. He arches his head back, letting out a scream of your name. His hands on the side of your head remain frozen, until you start bobbing your head.

He loses control slowly, then all at once. The next thing you know is tears little by little coming out of your eyes as you try to maintain the fast pace. Newt is grunting and groaning as the tension builds up in his cock.

“I-I’m coming, a-aah!!”

Hot semen spurts into your mouth, and you cough, choking on it. But then, you swallow some that remains in your mouth. Newt, after regaining his senses, looks horrified. The sight of you all sweaty and dirty with his cum makes his cock slowly rise again, but he tries to hide it.

“O-Oh Merlin, what have I done? [Name], are you alright?”

You wipe your mouth and the spilled semen with your shirt, and you can hollowly feel the salty taste still remains in your mouth.

“Yes, Newt, I am alright. How about you? Did you enjoy it?”

“I-I do, but good God you’re crying! Did I hurt you?”

“No Newt, it’s fine really! I’m okay, see?”

You lift yourself and sit beside him, swiping his messy, sweaty hair and kiss his forehead.

“You don’t need to apologize, sweetheart. You deserve every single good thing in this world.”

“But…”

“No buts. Now… How did you conjure this room? I didn’t know you have this in your case!”

“W-Well… It was meant to be a room to relax for myself… But I may have misused it…”

“Hmm… You naughty boy.”

“O-Oh, but I am your naughty boy…”

You pinch him on the cheeks, kissing him on the lips after doing so.

“Now… Do you want to continue…?”

“I’d love to… But… I think I smell something burning…”

You lift your head from his face, sniffing into the air. And as Newt said, there really is something burning.

“Oh no!! My stew!! Sorry baby, we have to do this later. Come up when you’re ready for dinner, alright?” you say before frantically climbing up out of the case.

Newt, on the other hand, still sweaty and tired, smiles to himself as he sees you disappear from his sight. He will definitely repay you tonight, taking a ‘dessert’ for his own after eating the dinner you make.

“Newt? Come on up! Let’s eat!”

And he will definitely hear his name being screamed later.

what’s so :) funny :) tho is that no one’s brave enough to make them both women, or just only holmes a woman, like that would be still so shitty but no one has ever tried that, while we have a second fem!watson adaptation coming soon… is it because The Iconiqué and Cléver sherlock holmes as a woman?? 😱😱😱 is an incomprehensible chonceptTM or just because of this twisted, dfp tainted ideal of holmes they believe in in their lil straight brains that in their dynamic watson would be the “”“”“woman”“”“”“??

Twins and Triplets Headcanons

-Preschool age triplets and the two Alphas being very worried about their clumsy and small Omega sibling so they always insist on each of them holding one of their hands and keeping the Omega safely between them when walking around crowded or public places

-Identical Omega twins in high school that think its funny to take turns flirting with the same Alpha, and the Alpha has no idea that he’s flirting with two different Omegas because they look and smell identical, and then the Omegas causing a big dramatic scene when one of them “catches” the Alpha flirting with their twin. And the Alpha just being so embarrassed and confused by the whole thing

-Twin Alphas that fight constantly but if anyone else picks a fight with one of them, the other will become extremely protective

-Older triplets with two Alphas and an Omega, other Omegas always befriending the Omega just to get closer to their Alpha siblings and the Alphas very bluntly rejecting any Omega that they catch doing it

-Twin Alpha and Omega that are very close and the Omega always goes out of their way to try and take care of their twin while the Alpha is very clingy and protective of them

-Twin Betas in middle school getting revenge on Alpha bullies by leaving fake love notes from Omegas in their lockers and watching the usually arrogant Alphas become flustered messes when they confront their “admirer” and are told that the note must be fake because the Omega doesn’t like them

-Triplets with two Alphas and an Omega, and the three of them going places and hanging out and the Omega walking ahead happily, not noticing their Alpha siblings behind them, giving death glares to any other Alphas that even glance at the Omega for more than a second

-Twin Alpha and Omega, the Omega being extremely picky about what kind of mate their twin will end up with. Partly because they don’t think anyone is good enough for their twin, but mainly because they want all the Alpha’s attention for themselves, the way it’s always been

-Baby twin Omegas and one of them almost never cries, except when their twin is extremely upset because even as an infant they can sense just how distressed their sibling is and it causes them to also become very distressed because they can’t make it better

-Twin Omega and Beta, and the Omega always really admiring the Beta and looking at them like they are the most impressive person in the world, so even when the Beta is looked down on by others it never really bothers them because their twin thinks they are great and that’s all they really care about

-Little triplets with two Alphas and an Omega, and whenever the Omega is sad the Alphas try their hardest to cheer them up, making funny faces and attempting squeaky croons until their Omega sibling is once again content and giggling

-Little triplets with two Omegas and an Alpha, and the Omegas always pulling the Alpha along into whatever they are doing like building nests and playing house and the Alpha going along with it all because they like making the Omegas happy