and this just comes the hell outta nowhere

alright i’ve accepted that i always write the kinda weird au’s so HERE WE GO

so, werewolf!eggsy

where no one (’cept his mum, of course) knew about it until one day there’s a mission with him and roxy that goes tits up while harry and merlin are watching from hq. and suddenly, instead of eggsy being there as her back up, there’s a gigantic wolf coming out of nowhere to fuck everyone’s shit up.

and this wolf is huge, like, taller than Harry or Merlin huge, and bullets seem to be doing a whole lot of nothin’ to it while it’s doing a very good job of removing the threats and their limbs.

the wolf gets roxy up on its haunches and then gets the hell outta there and to their pick up point.

the wolf is then shaking itself out and it’s just eggsy again (with a bunch of used bullets being shed out too), stark naked and sharp toothed and not really able to form words yet, just growling at the driver to drive already, the scent of blood is too strong, and when they show up at hq, roxy’s pale but breathing and a naked eggsy is curled up by her feet on the floor.

and everyone gets patched up and looked after and clothed again, except eggsy’s noticing some wary looks and even some fuckin’ pistols aimed his way, and he just looks kinda sheepish and says “my bad, yeah?”.

so they get him locked in the observation room (eggsy’s totally fine with it, he gets it, really, and just sits calmly on the table, not the chair) and looks at the mirror that he knows is a two-way, with harry, merlin, and roxy (her arm in a cast) on the other side.

and they ask him some questions and he answers them all like it’s no big deal, shrugging or scratching behind his neck like “i dunno, been like this all my life? dad had the gene but he was recessive or somethin’, i guess?” and “my mom’s ex had wolfsbane or somethin’ in his cologne, the dirty bastard” and “yeah, tried kibble once, awful stuff, won’t even giv’ it to JB now.”

and he answers everything dutifully until finally twitching his nose and interrupting, saying “you all back there, then?” because since all this fuss, he hasn’t been able to be around his kingsmen, his fam, his pack, and he’s missing them somethin’ awful already, and if he were in his other forms his tail would be waggin’.

and since he hasn’t transformed for a long while, definitely before he knew about kingsman, his abilities hadn’t been working at full speed, particularly his sense of smell, but he can smell them all so much better now, and he’s trying to place a scent to person, eyes shut as his nose twitches.

he starts saying, “there’s someone who’s smellin’ of… real fancy cologne, an’ some expensive cognac or something, a lil’ like cigar and a lot like gun smoke,” eggsy twitches his nose and continues, “smells like.. like, I dunno, like, an ‘alpha’, is what wolves call it? the one who you follow, the leader, ya?”

and they look at harry, who’s preening, of course, because he’s harry, but also really looks quite honoured

eggsy tilts his head and continues, “annnnd someone smellin’ of… wisteria, and roses, an’ lilies and other flowers but also spice but it’s nice,” he smiles contently and continues, “I think, someone who’s like… my other arm, a partner, someone I count on, who I lean on, ya?”

they look at roxy, who looks touched, gaze warm as she watches her friend

“and someone who’s.. who’s…” and eggsy seems to be getting a little lost in the scent, smiling dreamily about it, “someone who smells like… pine, and the sea, a lil’ like whisky, an’ an’, honey? and jus’ like…wow. just smells really really good, I can’t really place it??” and they watch eggsy give a happy sigh, biting at his lip, “like honestly bruv, I don’t think I ever smelt somethin’ like this before, just wow.”

on the other side of the mirror, roxy and harry turn to look at merlin, roxy’s got one prim eyebrow raised and a small smirk, and harry’s grinning at him as if to say “you old dog, you” but instead all he does is clap him on the shoulder with an all too suggestive waggle of eyebrows, and merlin doesn’t get it, what are the other two going on about, he just sounds confused, why are you both smiling, and only thinking about what eggsy said about the others and not about him. What was he to eggsy, other than ‘a good smell’?

and merlin continues to not get it until he wakes up the next night with an inhuman heat pressed against his back and an oddly cold nose nuzzling the back of his neck

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feelmyroarrrr  asked:

Oh I feel ya! I'm just tailing off of a shark week and have suddenly been struck by the head cold from hell!!

Oh man, right?!? I had the worst sinus pressure headache yesterday, then BAM Jaws comes outta nowhere. I actually took a nap for the first time in forever too. Today’s a bit better, though it’s more ‘hit by a truck’ than yesterday. I’d love to just crawl back into bed with a heating pad.