and this is why i'm up at 3 am


5x12 || 7x11

This is you breaking up with me. Yeah.

w/out internaI dialogue elliot would be the dullest most boring fucking character can u imagine omfg… I mean think abt the people who interact with him on a daily basis lmfaoiio “hey elliot how u doin” “……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………yes” id have him blocked on every social netwrk lmfo


Chanyeol B-day Countdown ; Different Sides of Chanyeol

D-15 : chanstagram 

all the podcasts are on hiatus until march and i am sad

- a particularly potent southern california w(h)ine with a hint of salt

Art trade with *+*+** @purple-phoney **+*+* :O Plx check them out they’re artsenpai really great!!

I drew their perfect Funtime Freddy (or at least i tried to oTL i just know i messed up the design somehow but he still survived heh)

I hope you like it friendo! :3

Beautiful things that happened in DAYS episode 3
  • Tsukushi getting up to defend Kazama
  • Kazama spilling hot water over a guy and picking a fight with him because he talked trash about Tsukushi
  • Kazama jumping on the bed
  • Tsukushi and Kazama sharing a room
  • impromptu 4 am soccer practice because why not
  • Kazama thinking it’s Tsukushi who gave him his motivation for soccer back
  • Tsukushi and Kazama falling asleep next to each other on the soccer field
  • the first-years laughing when that tall prick refused to shake hands with Tsukushi
  • “You lost to this guy!”
  • “What the coach doesn’t know won’t hurt him”
  • basically the reveal that Mizuki is actually a huge dumb soccer nerd
  • the other third-years coming to drag Mizuki off the field
  • Rei: Now fuck me, Nagisa.
  • Nagisa: When and where babe? *sits up excitedly*
  • Rei: Shit I meant fight me.
  • Nagisa: This is a verbal conversation Rei. I thought we talked about this.
  • Rei: I know I'm sorry.
  • Nagisa: You still haven't given me the when and where though, so are you really?
  • Rei: Shut up! *blushes profusely*

(okay but why did y'all think that getting new content would end any differently?)


It’s cheesy. It’s weird. It has a stupid typo. ‘Cuz, guess what? I MADE THIS @ 3 AM!!! :33333 Idk my life OwQ

If y'all are wondering why Sans has 4 HP, it’s explained at the first entry for “Cheer Up the Skeleton Week” and this is the end of it. The machine’s purpose here is to have access to the void. Sans originally made it to save his dad but he turned it as a way to escape resets. Obviously, he failed. And then he succeeded ^w^

Hope you enjoyed the mini-comic! ^w^ Now Ima doze off and reassess my life. Good night!~

Solas stays warm in his turtleneck.

Day 3 of Modern Solas Month! A thing I made up yesterday, lol. Send me outfit prompts if you want to see Solas wearing certain contemporary clothes.

Evanescence pt.2

Requests: by Anons: (1) Part two for Evanescence!!!!!!!! I love your writing btw ☺️ I’m obsessed. Can you make it that Jordan is the dad? It’s okay if you’ve already made up your mind ☺️☺️(2) Evanescence was so good I hope you do end up doing a follow up part to it! Love all of your writing! (3) WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! I’m so THAT CLIFFHANGER! It was so beautifully written, and love the idea ( not many people write Parrish) and I was so excited and then AHHHH! Update soon (4) OMG please PLEASE do an Evanescence part 2!! It will make having this kidney infection 100000% better!!

(5) by @katethewarrior: are you trying to kill us!?! Evanescene was amazing but that cliffhanger will be the death of me. Love your writing, I’ve read everything on here :p Keep it up ! Oh and Evanescence part 2 wouldn’t be a bad idea ;) (6) by @one-california-dream: so is there gonna be a part 2 to evanescence? #prayingtherewillbe 😫

Word count: 2694

Author’s note: I would also like to tag @okidokibucky for her impatient giddiness she flooded me with, and for her promise to “read the shit out of it”, haha! I love you forever, Pixie :3 I hope everyone will like this part, but as it is to be expected, it’s going to be angsty af! So Cinnamon Rolls, prepare your hearts and handkerchiefs, then sit back and just enjoy! ❤

Your name: submit What is this?

“Come to bed with me,” Jordan murmurs in a low tone, trying to coax me with him with a hand on my hips and a kiss on my skin under my ear, my back pulled flush to his chest, his fingers massaging lazy circles into my pelvis and belly through my silk nightgown. I purse my lips into a thin line, eyes shutting closed as I have to resist bolting out of his hold.

Damn Derek! If he didn’t come back, I could be happy with Jordan now, live a carefree life with him as my fiancée and Diana as our daughter. If only he didn’t knock…

I swallow back my tears as I turn in Jordan’s hold, cupping his cheeks in my hands and taking his lips in a languid kiss. My heart wants to split open when, closing my eyes, my mind flashes back to my very first kiss with Derek, remembering how he held me meekly, like I’m too precious to him, like he wanted to protect me from every harm of the world, like he feared to break me to small pieces because I’m too fragile compared to him, like… like I was the best thing that has ever happened to him in his life.

I can’t. I can’t make love to Jordan now, no matter how much I would like to assure him I love him. Not with Derek on my mind all the time. I’m incapable of doing it, I feel like a hypocrite, I feel like the cheapest, dirtiest trash of the Universe.

I can’t be playing around with his feelings. He deserves better. He deserves a wife who won’t be thinking of another man when they are being intimate. Jordan is a great person, a kind and reliable man, and I should be a wife who can live up to being equally genuine, selfless and nice.

I pull back from him to offer him a small smile.

“I’m tired now, honey,” I say, making sure my voice won’t break on the name I address him with. I’ve never been able to call him ‘baby’ or ‘puppy’ – I used to call Derek that, and I just… can’t give those away to Jordan. Those are Derek’s names, and will be forever, and no one can take them away from my Puppy.


He nods, like the understanding guy he is, and ushers me to the bed, switching off the lamp when both of us are laying and he covered me with the blanket nicely. I nestle myself into his hold, head resting on his chest and arm slung around his bust, his hand holding me close, legs tangling together. He presses an affectionate kiss to my forehead, whispering, “I love you.”

This is torture. I have to say to him I love him too, but will it sound as honest as always? Will I be able to lie to him? It wouldn’t be an entire lie, because I do feel the same way about him, it’s just… I feel that way about someone else, too.

“Me, too,” I manage in the end, adjusting my head on his pectoral.

He doesn’t say anything else, and eventually, I fall into the dark, infinite abyss of unconsciousness.

I wake up several hours later to crying. Jordan is rubbing his eyes in an attempt to awake himself, but I kiss his cheek as I whisper to him, “It’s okay, I got this.”

He mumbles a “Thanks” to me before I leave the bed and make my way over to Diana’s room on slightly wobbly legs. I close the door to let Jordan sleep, then approach her bed and sit on its edge. I stroke her forehead to soothe her.

“What has happened, sweetheart? A bad dream?”

She shakes her head, sobbing into her plush wolf, sitting up fast and taking a hold of my gown, balling up a fistful of it like it was her final lifeline. It makes my heart contract painfully in my chest to see my daughter so scared and desperate. I wrap my arms around her little body protectively, peppering kisses on the top of her head.

“It’s okay, sweetie, just talk to me,” I say. “I’m here. Mommy’s here.”

“Will Mr. D’rek come b’ck?” she slurs, voice muffled. My heart skips a beat, breath hitching in my throat. This can’t be happening. Diana can’t be asking for Derek.

“I don’t know, baby,” I coo. “But Jordan will play with you when he’s back from work tomorrow, will that be good?” She shakes her head furiously.

“No! I want Mr. Derek!” I bite my lip – how does one tell their young child they can’t see someone because their history is complicated with that person? Besides, if she’s Jordan’s child in reality… “Please, mommy, call him back.”

“Okay,” I say, albeit having no idea how to contact him. Is his number still the same? I was sappy enough not to be able to delete him from my contact list for three years. “Now sleep, princess, okay? It’s important that you do.”

“Okay,” she hiccups, but doesn’t let go of my gown. “Stay with me, mommy.”

“I will,” I promise, scooting under the blanket with her. I allow Diana to curl up into a ball against my stomach, her head resting against my chest and over my heart as the bundle of muscles is beating away wildly in my ribcage. I won’t be able to fall asleep again, I’m sure about that.

. o O o .

In the morning, I help Jordan get ready for his shift. I make him breakfast while he’s busy getting rid of his five o’clock shadow and putting on his uniform. Diana is still asleep, but I pour out a glass of orange juice for her – she usually gets up not long after Jordan left.

He eats his breakfast, cleans his teeth, then comes back to jump in his shoes and leave for the station. I kiss him goodbye, long and thorough, leaving him gasping and wanting more – I want him to know I still love him. I need him to know that. He waves to me with a smile before I close the door behind him, waiting by the door until the growling of the engine gradually dies out as he drives away, my back against the wood and for the first time in long hours, I allow my tears to escape from my eyes, flowing down on my cheeks and wetting the gown I’m wearing.

I sink down and pull my legs up against my chest, snaking my arms around them and letting myself cry quietly. What did I do wrong? Why am I so helpless now? How could I get out of this Hell of a situation? How can I forget about Derek?

I take a deep, steadying breath to ground myself. Enough. I’m not a lost little girl, not any more – I’m an adult, who has to get her crap together and get a hold of her emotions at last. I have responsibilities now, both as a parent and as a fiancée. I must take care of not only myself, but my family as well. I won’t let them down, not ever. They both deserve a caring mother and a strong wife.

I stand and make a beeline for the bathroom to wash my face with ice cold water. I stare at my reflection in the mirror for a long time, fingers curling tightly around the edge of the sink, steeling myself and jaw clenching. I’m not powerless. I can do this. I can bare life. I can endure. I can love.

I slide into the matching silk robe to my nightgown – the set is pale pink like the Japanese cherry blossoms, with black lace adorning its edges over the cleavage. I tie the belt around my waist and migrate back to the kitchen to put everything into the washing machine. I’m wiping the counter clean when Diana comes in, yawning, plush wolf being dragged after her on the ground. I smile at her as I cower to welcome her in my warm embrace.

“How did you sleep, princess?” I ask, placing a kiss over her temple. She mumbles a “Good” before weakly returning my hug, still riddled with sleep and dizzy with dreams. I scoop her up and go to sit her in her high chair. She squeezes the wolf, clutching it to her small body as I proceed to prepare her breakfast.

. o O o .

Several hours later, Diana is playing in the living-room, while I’m preparing dinner, knowing Jordan will be home soon. I’ve already taken a shower and dressed up into my nightgown again – I want to surprise him tonight, and I figured this would be the best I can offer him.

There’s a knock on the door then, puzzling me – I wouldn’t have thought Jordan would come off-duty so early today. I hurry over to let him in, but when I see who it is, the bitter feeling of deja vu engulfs me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, deliberately failing to greet him or ask him how he is.

“I…” he starts, chewing the inside of his cheek. “I came to see you.”

His eyes involuntarily give me a once-over, urging me to instinctively pull my robe tighter around myself as his mouth falls open a bit. I’m not his, not any more. I shouldn’t feel this fuzzy hotness spreading in my chest as his gaze roams over my figure, burning my skin in its wake. Neither should I be shivering under his intense sight.

“Derek, you should…” I cut myself off as soon as I remember Diana’s plead from last night. I can’t be so selfish to send Derek away while I know my daughter wants to see him so badly. I bite my lip as I inhale a long breath. I cock my head to the side, inviting him in as I step aside. “Come in.”

A small smile tugs at the corners of Derek’s mouth, which eventually widens into a huge grin as he enters. When he’s busy taking off his shoes, Diana comes in running, presumably because she heard me calling him by his name.

“Mr. Derek!” she exclaims, jumping into his neck. Derek shouldn’t know that Diana wanted to see him again. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t even be here, he shouldn’t be holding my daughter like she was his, holding her so meekly, so protectively, her small body fitting into his palms so neatly and perfectly…

I make a small noise at the back of my throat, suppressing my feelings that want to barge up desperately at the sight before me. Initially, that’s what I wanted – I’ve always imagined myself being parents with Derek, welcoming him home just so, just like it happened now. It hurts so much to simultaneously have and don’t have my desires.

“Come, play w’th me!” Diana sings, taking Derek’s hand and pulling him towards the living-room. He looks at me, a mute question in his eyes. I nod towards the living-room.

“Aren’t you going? Princess wants to play with you,” is all that I say. His face lights up as I let him go with her, following the girl back to her playthings cheerfully, giddily. I watch him as he settles next to the coffee table, sitting cross-legged and taking a building block in his hand, a dopey smile on his face that bliss put there.

I ignore my heart as it clenches painfully in my chest before I make a beeline for the kitchen to keep preparing the dinner. I glance at the clock briefly, taking the chicken out of the oven and kicking its door shut with my heel gently. I don’t even realize how fast time is passing until Derek steps next to me, warm palm on the small of my back, startling me. I cut myself with the knife, so I take the tip of my finger into my mouth as I arch a brow at him.

“Diana fell asleep,” he informs me.

“Yeah, that was to be expected,” I say. Originally, my plan for Jordan included Diana falling asleep before he arrives home. The fact that he still hasn’t let go of me registers, but I can’t find it in me to tell him to take his hand away, or for me to take a step back. Derek stares at my finger in my mouth for a while, then he takes a cloth, runs warm water over it and grabs my hand to squeeze the wet texture over the wound.

“Sorry for scaring you,” he apologizes quietly. I shake my head as I croak out an “It’s okay.” Derek keeps avoiding my gaze as he says, “I checked the envelope.”

A lump forms in my throat, suffocating me all of a sudden. I have hardship staying upright, so I take a hold of the counter. “Yeah?”

“You haven’t seen it, have you?” he asks, only now glancing up. I shake my head, lips pursed and massively fighting my tears back that are welling up in my eyes, making them gleaming. I don’t want to hear it – ignorance protects me. Ignorance protects me from having to be a hypocrite with Jordan if Diana is not his daughter – it protects me from having to endure being left all alone with a child again.

If she’s Jordan’s, then it’s okay if I hear it, because then I won’t have to be forcing myself to look him in the eye.

If she’s Derek’s, however, then I’m better off not knowing about it. Otherwise, I will have to leave Jordan, because one thing I know about myself is that I won’t be able to live a lie with him. He deserves better, so much better than a liar fiancée.

“(Y/N), I read it, and it said –”

“Don’t,” I interrupt warningly. “Don’t be selfish again, Derek.” His eyes reflect sadness and pain as soon as the words leave my mouth, but with bold courage and self-preservation, I continue. “Think about the repercussions it will have on me. I didn’t give it to you to come back and tell me about it. I gave it to you so that I will get rid of the temptation. Do you understand what I’m talking about, Derek?”

Heavy silence settles around us, eating us away. That is, until the front door opens and clicks shut. I jerk my hand away from Derek’s hold.

“Honey?” comes Jordan’s voice from the lobby.

“I’m here,” I answer, already on my way to the entrance of the kitchen to welcome him. We meet at the threshold.

“Hey,” he murmurs, arm snaking around my waist to pull me flush to his body, kissing me deeply. “Shall we continue what we started in the morning?” he asks with a playful half-smile, but I shake my head, making him arch a brow. Only then does he recognize we’re not alone. “I didn’t know we were expecting a guest.”

“You weren’t,” Derek answers. “I just came by.”

Jordan acknowledges that reply with a hum. “I’m sure you already have to leave,” he says pointedly. My fingers flex against his chest as they ball up a fistful of his uniform – that was rude, even though he’s right that Derek shouldn’t be here at this hour.

“I’ll see him to the door,” I offer, but Jordan presses a kiss to my temple and cheek, murmuring to me, “I’ll take care of it, darling. I don’t want you to catch a cold in this short dress of yours.” He massages my skin over my clothes before letting go completely, wordlessly ushering Derek towards the hall with a cock of his head.

Derek obeys. I proceed to set the table for two, but I catch Jordan’s voice as he’s speaking in a low voice. I inch closer to them to be able to hear him clearly. The next time he talks, I can make out every single word that’s said, threatening.

“And leave my family alone, or you’ll regret coming back.”

Then the lock is clicked shut.