and this is why i'll never have a boyfriend

  • 707: ATTENTION!!
  • Yoosung: What? What happened? What?
  • 707: Nothing...just want you to pay attention to me. ;)
I never thought that you would be a huge part of my life. I never expected you’ll have a big role to play in it, to be one of the reasons why I live right now. You’re the person who I can’t lose, someone I can’t bear to live without because, it’s like half of my life will be taken away from me too. Thank you for the seconds, days and months you made me happy. I can’t deny the fact that you’re one of the primary sources of my happiness. For me, I am both lucky and blessed because God gave me you. I wasn’t asking for a person to enter my life again, but He gave me you because he knew it’s you who will make my life better.. and you did. You made everything better and easier, you changed me. You made me become a better person, you made me strong and filled me with happiness. Thank you for entering my life and for loving me. You have no idea how much of an impact you did when you entered my life. You radiated joy and love, which transformed me. So, please. Don’t ever let go, don’t leave me, don’t fall in love with another girl. I won’t bear the pain, you mean the world so much to me.
—  S.L // A message #13

“I’m never gonna be anybody.”

“Why do you say stuff like that?”

“Because it’s true.” I say, feeling hopeless.

He walks over to me and cups my face so I have to look at him. “Of course you’re somebody, you’re my beautiful girl.”

—  I love him so much || Chapters from my life
they’re worried about their boyfriends and passing their English exams while I realize that one day my skin will decay and my bones will turn to dust and sometime in the future, I will never have existed. one day, I will never be a thought or a memory, and just a name on a worn down headstone, and I believe that’s why humans decide to be cremated so they turn into a beautiful tree and not an empty soul.
—  And I agree because I’d rather wake up dead in the forest than dead six feet underground.

I’ve always been incredibly adamant about getting people right when doing descriptions. The details have to be just so, carefully planted among clever sentences so am audience can barely detect it. If I throw in too much I’m showing instead of telling. On the other hand if I use too little, I’m lacking detail. It’s a careful balance; why writing is considered an art. And I prided myself on always achieving it.

Until I met you.

Because when I met you, I suddenly understood why people utilized entire paragraphs to describe the shade of someone’s eyes. When we spoke I too felt the urge to use 3+ adjectives just to convey the sound of your laugh. And when writing down the way your smile looks, it makes sense to take my time because a simple handful of words just didn’t do it justice. When you walked into my life, so did a thousand cliches. And for once I really didn’t mind.

—  You made your way into my writing, and into my heart
“What? Did you want us to date?” he asked, confronting me and catching me completely off guard. I kind of laughed it off, but I wasn’t fooling anyone. The whole school knew I used to like him. He knew I used to have feelings for him, and at one point he almost dated. I guess I don’t know why he brought it up; I thought it was just him trying to embarrass me since we were friends now.

“I don’t know what I wanted then but I’m happy with my boyfriend now.” And when I blurted that back, I saw the sparkle fade from his light blue eyes. He broke my heart, but it hurt me a million times more to stand there and break his. So yeah, I wanted us to date, but it’s not what I want anymore.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #34
He came to me as I was sitting at a table with a glass in my hand.
He started talking and I listened even though I didn’t care. 
Then the inevitable, predictable sentence came.
“Can I have your number?”
I smiled kindly as if I wasn’t completely jaded.
“Sorry, no.”
“I have a boyfriend” I lied.
I’d actually been single for 2 days. It was Friday and I was drinking in a club with friends to try and forget about the hole you dug in my chest when those dreadful words came out of your mouth on that Wednesday night. But you see, my stomach still dropped when I thought of your smile, and I could still feel the sensation of your hair between my fingers. Your lips were still tattooed on mine, and there was no way I could let anyone take that away and sully it with their filthy mouth.
Disappointment spread across his face.
“I’m sorry” I lied again.
“Well” he said, “he’s lucky. I hope he realises how lucky he is.”
I sighed and stared blankly into space.
“No” I whispered, “no, I don’t think he does.”
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write
Why do we act like romantic love is so strong and passionate and intense and that everyone should want it. We romanticise romance. Why do little kids feel the need to have boyfriends and girlfriends so young. Why dont talk about friendship more. I want a movie about some people who think that theyre in love but realize that they are so much happier as friends. I want a book about a boy who feels lost and alone and I want him to meet a girl who changes his world for the better and I want there to be a scene where they openly talk about there feelings and they feel comfortable and happy together. They dont fall in love. I have found a boy who I love more than anyone in this whole world. he has been my bestfriend for years and years and has helped me through so much. If our lives were a movie, hollywood would write us as childhood lovers. our love is strong and passionate and intense. It is not romantic. Platonic love can be everything romantic love is. I’m writing this mainly for my own benefit. I find that writing things down helps me make sense of my thoughts. I’m posting this here off a whim, in the hopes that some kid somewhere will read this and understand.
It doesn’t really matter how long you’ve known someone
I’ve been with my best friend for five years
I’ve been with you not even five weeks
Yet already I can tell that I have fallen for you completely
And I know that I want, no, that I need you in my life
Because you are the reason why I’m up so damn late
You are the one that I am texting at these godforsaken hours
And you are the one I keep writing about
—  You are the one I want

“I think I’m afraid.” She stated with
a sigh and a head pointed down.

“Why?” He asked, smiling at her,
she could be such a dramatic
thing sometimes.

“I’m scared that no one will ever
fall in love with me, that no one
will ever stick around long enough
to find out my favourite movie or
food. what if I grow up to never
have someone to walk around
IKEA with, picking out stuff for
our home?”

He laughed, “oh darling, that is
something you’ll never have to
worry about.”

—  an excerpt from a book I’ll never write