and this is what happens when i return

Ugh. We are the worst team.

Auntmurble: this bulb went out.

Me: *sense of doom* I guess I should change it before it gets dark. (I go get bulbs and a step stool)

Me, on the step stool loosening the screws that hold the shade, to Murble that is pacing all around me like she is going to catch the shade when I drop it: you are making me nervous.

Auntmurble: sorry!

Me, about to set the shade on the coffee table but Murble takes it out of my hands and rushes out of the room: wha??? Oh. Are you going to clean it???

(She returns to the tv room, the shade in two pieces now)

Me, defeated. Voice cracking : what happened?

Auntmurble: probably broke when I was washing it in that tiny sink.

….we take private moments to mourn in our own ways…

Me: it could have happened to anyone.

Auntmurble: I wish it had happened to anyone else! I never learn. I think that is the last painted shade in the house and I broke them all (my bedroom has the last painted shade. I will defend it with my life. But the tv room shade was the most beautiful.) I should have just put it up dirty!

Me: I was setting it on the table and was going to wipe it out with a tissue but you ran out of the room with it.

Auntmurble: I KNOW.

fave beauty and the beast (2017) things

  • the prince’s fabulous make up
  • “if he could earn their love in return”
  • belle’s blue dress
  • “hmm… ‘je ne sais quoi’?” - “I don’t know what that means”
  • even the freaking ducks are singing
  • “it’s never gonna happen ladies”
  • gaston asking belle if she’s busy and belle saying “no”
  • otp gaston x mirrors
  • belle’s disgusted face when gaston gestures from his lower body to her when saying she should only be concerned with her own children
  • “no one can change… that much”
  • “madame gaston, his little wife, uGH
  • the whole scene with maurice in the castle
  • m a u r i c e
  • philippe, everyone’s hero
  • belle smashing lumière with a stool
  • “the east wing, or as I like to call it, the only wing
  • ‘G A S T O N’
  • gaston lifting both lefou and a lady onto his shoulders
  • “I’ve been told I’m clingy, but I really don’t get it”
  • “he’ll blame me!” - “yes I will make sure of it”
  • “maestro, play quietly please” - “oh quietly, sotto voce, of course. are there any other tasteless demands you wish to make upon my artistry”
  • be. our. guest. be our guest put our service to the test
  • maurice trying to remember the way to the castle
  • “you really wanna marry into this family?”
  • “gaston, stop it. breathe. think happy thoughts. go back to the war! blood… explosions… countless widows…”
  • the nose boop
  • luke evans’ acting in that scene… hilariously creepy
  • “romeo and juliette fucking sucks here’s my huge library full of much better things to read” basically
  • beast is making jokes now
  • beast knocking out belle with his huge ass snowball like chill man
  • beast walking around the castle grounds with philippe and talking to him
  • belle watching that from the window and looking beautiful as hell like wow I knew I was gay but that was a solid reminder
  • “no? too touristy?”
  • the way lefou says maurice’s name and smiles when seeing he’s alive
  • waiting heeere. fooor. eee.ver.mooooore
  • luke evans singing
  • “there’s a beast running wild there’s no question, but I fear the wrong monster’s released”
  • stanley rocking that dress and owning it that’s my boy
  • lefou teaming up with mrs potts
  • “I am. not. a beast.”
  • L E F O U 
  • “turn back into a clock, turn back into a clock”
  • human plumette is so beautiful I wanted to cry
  • “how would you feel about growing a beard”
  • rawr

Friendly reminder that

this scene happened.

Some people still claim that Victor wants to return to competitive figure skating and I just wanted to remind all of us of this scene from episode 2 because this alone is a good indication of Victor’s intentions.

When Yakov tells him to stay, Victor only smiles

A defiant, but nostalgic smile.

But what happens next is crucial.

Yakov tells Victor in no unclear terms that leaving now means the end of his career.

And what does Victor do?

Yes, dasvidaniya - goodbye. Victor kisses Yakov, his career, his entire life in Saint Petersburg goodbye.

Victor had already made up his mind. He left knowing that he may not be able to come back. He knew the consequences of his decision and didn’t even hesitate.

He really doesn’t care anymore.

To Victor, his career is already a thing of the past.

He moved on in order to find a new path in life.

That path being Yuuri, in more ways than one.

If the anime ever clearly showed that Victor isn’t returning to his competitive career, then it did so here, as explicitly as it was possible.

8

favorite DCU relationships → Batman x Joker

Oh, you… You just couldn’t let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible, aren’t you? You won’t kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t kill you because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.

Boldly, he tries to redefine what’s happening inside our heads, claiming that the only people who care about his tax returns are “reporters.” Polls show this is patently false, but “false” is just four letters away from “true.” In response to the question, “You don’t think the American public is concerned about it?” he responds, “No I don’t think so. I won when I became president.” Let this sink in for a minute: By being voted president, he’s saying he won the right to ignore calls for transparency. His winning means he gets to determine what the country wants and thinks. The next president of the United States is putting Lifetime movie villains to shame, gaslighting not one woman but an entire country.
—  Trump’s first press conference as president is best described as an hour-long maelstrom of confusing claims, contradictions, and speaking in the third person. His glib catchphrases may be shiny and distracting, but they veil a much more disturbing trend of gaslighting. He makes us constantly question reality until we don’t know what’s real anymore
Dear Parents:

You may think that “My house; my rules” is an entirely fair position for your children to be in. After all, you bought the house, you pay the bills, you provide them with their food; it’s only reasonable if they abide by your rules in return.

However, please consider that this is not a trade. A trade can only happen when both parties choose to engage in it. Your child cannot freely choose to live with you because, if they ever leave, the police can hunt them down and return them. If they ever try to get a job to support themself - buy their own food, pay their own bills - the State can arrest the employer.

And the child never entered this arrangement freely in the very beginning. They appeared with the contract giving away their rights already signed. If you had a child by choice, you basically kidnapped a human being from the formless void and put them in your care. If you’re going to do that, you’d better hold yourself to some standards in caring for your inmate.

And, if you had a child by accident, then please have some compassion for your fellow cell-mate. They aren’t here any more willingly than you are.

i’ve been practicing a disappearing act,
a simple one,
in which
i don’t respond to the messages filling up my inbox.

i make up excuses,
saying i’m busy,
or that i’m ill,
although i guess the latter is the truth.
i avoid leaving the house,
because the outside scares me.

and when i must face the world,
i do so with a subtle smile,
so that they may call me friendly.
and nobody questions
the tiredness of my eyes
because as long as my lips are pulled up at the edges,
well what could i possibly be hiding?

in this act the audience mustn’t close their eyes,
because everything happens in an instant.
one moment i am there,
and i am happy and breathing,
and the next moment i am gone–
the audience cheers,
asking where i went,

they wonder if i am going to return.

—  hi–ily 
I had many fascinating and enjoyable phone calls about the books while he was writing them–the phone would ring: ‘Listen to this’, and he would read a passage he was particularly pleased with, and I could see why; or 'I’m not sure what should happen now’ and he would tell me the plot up to that moment, and we’d talk about its possible direction.  Then he’d say 'Right, I know what happens now.'  The call was finished, and I’d hear no more, but when I read the final text there’d never be even an echo of our conversation: something had struck him from a completely different direction and was better than anything we’d discussed during that call.  Genius.

I miss those calls, his company, his humour, and his erudition, but we have his books, the deep moral sense that pervades and imbues them, their supreme craftsmanship, his skill in writing works to which we return again and again, his characters, his puns, his footnotes.  I miss the challenges he set me, and the pleasure involved in their achievement, sometimes to his considerable surprise.  There won’t be another like him, but his values will influence and inspire his readers for as long as his books are read.  Children become adults, teenagers become professors and heads of industry.  And as Terry influenced them, they influence the world.
—  Colin Smythe (Pratchett’s publisher and agent), “The Terry Pratchett Diary”

anonymous asked:

“I can’t believe you got your arm stuck in the vending machine again.”

“You’re getting blood on the sheets again.” 

“Mhrrh.” Wade’s articulate reply as he smothered his face in the duvet. 

It was 3am, and Wade had only just gotten home. Peter had already been asleep. Wade missed their shared patrol, and now he was bleeding all over their home. By now, Peter shouldn’t feel the need to ask. 

“What happened.” Peter said. His voice failed to parcel it as an inquiry; it was more of an admission of defeat. He braced himself for the answer. 

“Vending machine.” 

Peter’s eyes were fixed on the ceiling. The room rang with silence. 

When Peter finally turned his gaze to Wade, the expression Wade returned was pitiful. 

“You lost an arm.” 

Peter said it as though Wade hadn’t noticed. Wade looked down at his non-arm too, like he really hadn’t noticed. 

“I was desperate.” Wade eventually said. “This was plan G.” 

“So plans A through F didn’t work out.” 

“Plan H was to carry the machine home with me.” 

“Well,” Peter yawned, turning on his side, “at least the hallway would be littered with packets of m&m’s instead of blood splatters.” 

With Wade’s intact arm he fished into one of the pouches at his belt, lobbing a packet of m&m’s directly at Peter’s face. 

Lightning

Originally posted by themosthumanpower

Thor x Young!Reader


“Guys incoming!” Tony yelled as something hurtled towards the group.

“I’ve got it!” Thor called out, reaching his hand out for Mjölnir. “What?” He gasped when it whizzed past him.

“We could use some help!” Steve yelled, raising the shield when something came flying towards him, steadying his feet as he was forced back a little.

“It would appear Mjölnir is not cooperating.” Thor sighed, looking around for where the hammer could hurtle from.

Keep reading

A is for Aria

ARIA IS UBER A, SHE IS THE RINGLEADER CALLING THE SHOTS.

Let’s start at the very beginning when Aria and her family return home from Iceland. The threats begin right when she returns home, if that wasn’t suspicious enough, the very first text of the show is sent to Aria herself.

Holden tells us that Green Pepper pizza is Aria’s favorite,

and what kind of Pizza does A order for Hanna’s party? You guessed it, green pepper. 

Mona was still A when this happened, but we’re thinking that Aria is the ringleader, she would have told Mona exactly what to order. 

Then there’s this gem that I think seriously went under rader. 

Aria texts Ezra with an unknown number, maybe because of her parents finding out she as meeting Ezra, but how would she be able to gain access to a burner phone this quickly if she didn’t already have one?

Mona calls Aria “Big A” perhaps this is Aria’s code name for the game she and Mona made up together. 

It also helps that Marlene tweeted this out 

Not to mention she knows secrets about others that she shouldn’t possibly know. Like the one she whispered to Mona in the theatre. 

She knows how to hurt people to get what she wants and she’s proven that she isn’t afraid to do it.

Remember when Ezra’s diploma ended up in Anne’s office? 

The only person who could possibly get in and out of Ezra’s apartment without being detected is Aria.

In 7A the girl’s (Minus Aria who is conveniently missing) find Jessica’s lair, and something is off about it. 

Yep, there’s a file for Spencer, Hanna, Emily, even Alison, but not for Aria, almost like Aria was in on it. 

Finally, Lucy said that her favorite episodes are the final 10 because she “Never imagined that Aria could be bad.” 

I love the idea of Spock falling in love with Jim first. It’s this steady progression of emotion starting from the day they meet, and building over years. Little moments feed into it, to the point that he doesn’t know exactly when it began or if it would ever end, just that it’s been happening all along. And he’s okay with it. Just like, “this is a beautiful emotion, and– even though I’m not supposed to feel it– I’ll treasure it. And him.”

And so when Jim finally wises up and realizes what’s been under his nose the whole time, when he finally has that “aha” moment, Spock (who has been content to just love him with no expectations) just feels this culmination of the inevitable. And it takes him no time at all to return Jim’s affections because he has had years longer to absorb and reflect on his own.

I just think that’s how their individual realizations would go. Spock, steadily over many years; Jim, in one defining moment.

Not a Sidekick

Prompt: imagine with batmom about the first time Bruce gets hit with fear toxin?

Words: 480


You’re twenty-one the first time it happens, when he presses the panic button for the first time. It’s Alfred who goes to get him. The hour it takes to get him is the longest of your life. In the six months Bruce has been doing this he has never pressed the button.

          So when Alfred returns covered in scratches your heart jumps into your throat. Bruce is in the back of the car, sedated and unconscious. Every once in awhile he lets out a cry. You can feel your skin go clammy, “What happened?”

          “He was hit with the fear toxin we’ve been trying to identify.”

          You swallow as you help move him to the gurney, “We haven’t found an antidote yet.”

          The butler nods, “You stay with him, and I will go follow up with our contact. It’s best if we keep him sedated for now.”

          “He’s trapped in his mind Alfred, living out his worst fears. He shouldn’t have to go through this. Not again.”

          It takes twelve hours to finally get the antidote. You stay with Bruce the entire time. You mop the sweat at his brow, you hold his hand, and continually tell him that you’re there. You try to tell him good things. You pray that his mind stays intact.

          It takes another two hours for him to come out of the sedation. You cry when the first thing he does, is pull you into his arms and keeps saying, “You’re alive.” Over and over again.

          He doesn’t let go of you for the next twelve hours. You shower with him, and let him hold you through the night. You stay pressed against him, occasionally kissing that scar on his chest. He wakes up several times throughout the night, and each time you do your best to calm him, and lure him back to sleep.

          Over the next week, neither of you really leave the manor, and Bruce doesn’t go out on patrol. He stays close by, almost as though he’s terrified you’ll disappear again. You let him do it. You know what his worst fear is now, your death; and that both warms and breaks your heart; because in that moment you realize Bruce’s biggest fear is losing those he loves.

          He finally goes back out nearly a week later. For the first time ever you stay in the cave through the entire patrol, you talk to him as he drives, and do your best to make him laugh when his attention doesn’t need to be so narrowly focused. He comes back that night, with a smile on his face and the bravado you’re used to.

          When he pushes you up against the back wall and starts to nibble on your neck, you make one thing very clear; you are not a sidekick you are a technical supervisor. Bruce just laughs and kisses you.

Familiar Melodies (Calum Hood Imagine)

calum posts videos and i cry and this is what happens. hope you enjoy xx

masterlist

request shit here

———

Calum sat across the room, his hands gliding over the black and white keys in perfect time. It always amazed me how fast of a learner he was - especially when it came to anything music related. Suddenly he hit the wrong key and I winced at the harsh sound. 

“Fuck,” He muttered before starting to play again. I smiled and shook my head before my vision returned to the book I was curled up on the couch reading. This time the notes flowed flawlessly and I sighed contently before closing the book. 

With my favorite fuzzy blanket still wrapped around me, I stood up. My feet padded across the cold hardwoods until I gently sat down on the edge of the piano bench next to him. He was playing “Outer Space” and it was one of my favorite songs off of their last album. I hummed along to the familiar melody as I laid my head on his shoulder. The last chorus came along and I started to sing softly, 

“Guess I was running, from something, I was running back to you,” I felt Calum tense under me at the sound of my voice. I rarely sang in front of him. 

“Lost here in London,” His voice, raspy with exhaustion, joined me in harmony to the notes emerging from my chest, “With nothing; I’m still running back to you.” I looked up at him as he kept playing. He glanced down at me, his eyes twinkling, and motioned for me to continue singing. “If you could love me again, I could let go of everything.“ His hands came to a halt and his face scrunched in frustration, 

 "Dammit. I don’t remember the rest of it.” I smiled softly, 

 "’S okay babe, you’ve already learned so much.“ His arms suddenly snaked around my waist and he pulled me so I was practically in his lap. Looping my arms around his neck, I pulled him closer and his head nuzzled into my neck. 

"You should sing more,” He mused, his warm breath tickling my skin. Goosebumps spread across my shoulder. My hands played with the curls on the back of his head. 

“It’s not really my thing,” I murmured. 

“It could be,” He whispered, removing his head from my neck. I met his lips in a quick kiss before curling up in his lap and resting my head on his chest. “I don’t think I can practice like this,” He teased. I pressed my lips against the base of his neck, 

“You’re not s'posse to, babe.” His mouth formed a small smirk, 

“’S that so?” I hummed in response, my eyes fluttering shut as I gripped his white t-shirt. His fingertips slid under the material on my waist and traced circles on my hip. I yawned and stretched my arms, 

“I should probably get going.” I thought out loud, “’S getting late and Ashton will probably be back soon.” His arms tightened around me, 

“Stay?” He murmured, one hand reaching to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, “You’re tired. I just got back and I don’t want to be without you again.” I hesitated as I glanced up at him. 

“I don’t want to get in yours or Ashton’s way.” He squeezed my hip, 

“Ash won’t care, baby. It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve spent the night." 

"Okay,” I sighed, feeling defeated and more tired than before. 

“You sound so happy about being able to cuddle with your sexy boyfriend who has been touring for six months,” Calum smirked. I opened my mouth to respond when he scooped me into his arms, standing up, 

“Calummm,” I whined, “I can walk myself." He chuckled, kicking the door to his dark bedroom open with his foot before placing me on the bed. He threw his baseball cap across the room, yanked off his shirt, and dropped onto the bed to pull me back into his arms. 

"Comfy?” He murmured. I glanced down at my oversized t-shirt and leggings before nodding. He pulled the covers over us and I snuggled into his side, his arms snaking around my waist. Soft lips pressed against my head, “I love you.” I kissed his collar bone, 

“Love you back.”

What Happens to Morty’s Abandoned in the Daycare?

What happens to the Morty’s who get abandoned at the Morty Daycare? I know the idea of a naughty Storage Rick has crossed a lot of people’s minds but I like to think of a different scenario playing out. One a little more sweet~

Some of the Morty’s are abandoned by choice. The person who previously ‘owned’ them drops them off and simply fails to return, they have no use for them and so there they stay to wonder when someone will come back or IF someone will come back. Other Morty’s get dropped with the intention to stay only a few days but perhaps end up staying much longer when there trainer meets and unfortunate end.

Storage Rick knows which ones are abandoned. They sit there day in and day out with the hope slowly dwindling in there eyes. And eventually he’ll hear stories through the many people who stop by about this or that trainer meeting an unfortunate fate or they’ll notice how a trainer fails to meet the eyes of the abandoned Morty.

It doesn’t bother him at first. He has a job to do and it pays well so why worry about other people? why worry about the Morty’s there fed. They get a place to sleep. It’s not HIS fault that those other damn Rick’s don’t understand how LUCKY they are to have a Morty. He’s never had one, he’s never had a Beth either. No family, no problems. Just him and the large chunk of change he gets for doing his job.

But that all crumbles eventually. It starts with one scruffy Morty, that just wont stop hoping. Everyday its “Have you seen my Rick? Has he stopped by? Is he picking me up soon? He said he’d be back in a few days.“ Storage Rick doesn’t even care but he goes to find out what happened to this damn Rick just so he can get the kid off his back. When he eventually finds out the guy got himself killed he feels a little sick. It takes a few days before he works up the courage to tell the Morty, but he doesn’t have to. The moment the words “Hey kid im sorry-” leave his mouth the little guy is already in tears.

And storage Rick has NO idea what he’s thinking but he can’t stand to watch this loyal hopeful Morty just crumble in front of him so before he knows what he’s doing he’s asking the kid if he wants to stay at his house. Not permanently, he just has an extra bedroom and whatever.

Before he sees it coming Storage Rick has amassed a small army of Morty’s he’s had to buy a bigger home in order to house all his new grandsons but its a kind of chaos he had no idea he ever needed in his life. Some of the Morty’s there are permanent others are just there for a few days before they’re returned to there proper universe but its just one big family.

Storage Rick wakes up every morning to fresh pancakes for breakfast, and he comes home each evening to a clean house and a big dinner. Sure there are rough patches because having that many Morty’s in one house is bound to cause drama but Storage Rick would not exchange his new family for anything in the world.

AND OH GOD FATHERS DAY. All the Morty’s are in competition with each other each trying to outdo the last. All day long Rick’s getting gifts and cards and food as each Morty does there best to show there appreciation. Despite Rick’s best attempts to act unfazed he can’t help but crack a smile and thank each of his darling Morty’s for doing there best.

Just imagine Storage Rick, going from a loveless, man with no family to the happiest Rick to exist because he has a big house packed with happy thankful Morty’s that he rescued. Imagine him feeling overwhelmed some nights when he lays in bed because he remembers how lonely he use to be and now he has so much. Imagine the Morty’s who get abandoned and forgotten, imagine how scared and sad they must feel. Imagine a Morty abandoned and alone suddenly being adopted by Storage Rick who takes him home, to this large vibrant household full of happy Morty’s ready to welcome anyone.

JUST IMAGINE THIS HAPPY CHAOTIC HOUSEHOLD. I came up with this awhile ago while chatting with @gaily-daily who fueled the flames of Storage Rick being grandfather of the year. And it was about time I shared it all with you.

2

I accidentally made a Yuri on Ice AU relating to Avatar the Last Airbender. Yuri is a untrained waterbender from the North. He tries to study under a master, but is rejected because he could not perform the moves when sparring, and was generally a clutz when it came to bending in front of others. He started training to become a healer instead, despite the fact that the role was reserved for women, but always wanted to learn more complicated moves.

Russian Yuri is a South Pole native and began training early, adept and naturally talented. There’s gossip he might be the next Victor.

Victor is a big shot waterbender, and insanely talented. He returns to his home in the North for a bit, and discovers Yuri. Guess what happens?

(I really want to draw Victor carving Yuri a betrothal necklace or vice versa! And Yurio getting hurt during a match and having to go to Yuri to get healed.)

In the second pic, Victor would probably be saying something like, “You have to treat water as if it’s an extension of your body. Would you like me to show you, Yuri?”