and this is kinda supporting me coming out

minor pet peeve: seeing extremely popular fics continuously show up on fic rec lists

Philip’s Christmas Eve Confession

Anonymous: hey! im planning to come as a transboy to my parents soon… could i request a short ficlet with transboy!philip coming out to a nice n accepting alexander and eliza??

Of course, bby!! <333 I know this ask is kinda old, so if you’ve come out by now, I sure hope it went well and I would love to hear from you! Me and the fam are here to support you! I love you!! <333 (Note: Philip is about 12 or 13 in this fic.)

Philip had thought of at least a million ways to tell his parents. He’d imagined a million situations and thought of every kind of tone he could use.

“Hey, so ya know how you think you have two daughters and three sons? Congratulations! You actually have four sons and one daughter!”

“Mama, Papa, could you call me Philip from now on?”

“Oh, yeah, one more thing before I go to bed! I’m transgender. Okay, night, love you guys!!”

But for all of the situations he imagined, Philip was still too afraid. He wasn’t so sure what, exactly, he was afraid of. He knew his parents wouldn’t throw him out on the streets. He didn’t even think they’d be upset or disappointed or any of the awful reactions that haunted him in his nightmares. He knew his father was bisexual, and that his dad’s best friend, John, was gay, so his parents were already more accepting than some of his friends’ parents, but he was still scared because what if?

It was nearly Christmas and Philip’s anxiety over coming out was getting worse and worse. The idea of possibly getting “girly” toys made it worse, too. Although playing dolls or house with his little sister, Angelica, was fun, he already had enough dolls and dresses and tea sets to last multiple lifetimes.

It was never his parents who gave him these gifts. They always gave him something he really wanted, whether it was a sewing kit or Transformers figurines. As his parents often told him and his siblings, toys had no gender. The kids could play with whatever they pleased and Mama and Papa would support that.

It was his well-intentioned relatives, like Grandmama and Grandpapa and Aunty Angie and Aunty Peggy and Uncle Ren who lovingly doled out the toys that Philip wasn’t much of a fan of. The toys that, even though he believed what his parents told him, that toys are not gendered, reminded him of what he wanted to be and what he was not.

But I am, Philip told himself. I’m as much of a boy as Alex and James and John. I just need to tell them. I just need to tell them, and then they’ll see me for who I am.

Philip felt like an abundance of opportunities kept coming his way, but he was always too nervous to take them.

There was the time when Papa was driving him home from his piano lesson, an easy silence between them.

There was the time when Mama and Papa were snuggled under a blanket in the den, flicking through the channels on the television, his other siblings scattered throughout the house, playing or reading.

There was the time on a snowy Advent Sunday when he was alone with Mama as she clasped a pearl necklace around her pale neck and studied her reflection in the mirror before asking Philip if he’d like a necklace to wear to mass. He simply bit his tongue and shook his head no.

The more time that passed without telling his parents, the worse he felt. Every she and her and use of his birthname sounded like nails on a chalkboard to his ears.

It was Christmas Eve when the next opportunity arose, and, this time, neither Philip himself nor his overwhelming anxiety could stop him from taking it.

It was nearly ten at night when Elf, the movie the family was watching, ended and Mama and Papa told the kids it was time to get ready for bed. Philip went through the motions of brushing his teeth, combing out his hair, and changing into the fuzziest pajamas he had. He said goodnight to his parents and climbed up to the room he and Angie shared. He even got into bed and crawled under the covers.

After a short amount of time passed, he heard Angie’s breathing even out, and he heard the scampering from the room nextdoor, where his three younger brothers slept, slow to a shuffle and then halt all together. He looked at the digital clock on his bedstand. It was 10:45.

Philip got out of bed as quietly as he could. He wrapped the quilt Grandmama had made him when he was born around his shoulders and slipped out of his room and down the stairs.

He found his parents in the living room, murmuring to one another, a notepad and pen in his father’s hand.

“Ma? Da?” He felt like his tiny voice had been shot through a loudspeaker from the way his parents jumped.

“Oh my god!” Mama said, putting her hand to her heart, a smile coming to her face. “You scared us, sweetie.”

“Are you okay, honey?” Papa asked, his brow creased in worry.

“Yeah, uh, what’re you guys doing?” Philip knew he was stalling, but he was also genuinely curious.

Papa winked. “Helping out Santa, that’s what.”

Philip laughed for a few seconds before his smile fell off his face. Was he really doing this? His parents seemed to sense something was up.

“Sweetheart?” Mama said gently. “Do you need to talk with us? Did you have another nightmare?”

His parents knew he had nightmares, but they didn’t know what they were about. Telling them would mean coming out, something he didn’t want to do via explaining a nightmare.

“I, um, have something I need to tell you,” Philip said, biting his lip.

Papa gestured for him to sit on the couch between the two of them. Philip sank down, unconsciously huddling close to his mother, who was always there to comfort him.

He hoped she would still be there for him after he told them this.

“Well, uh,” he started and stopped. His hands were sweating. Did hands usually sweat?

“You can tell us anything,” Papa said, his voice steady and sure.

“Always,” Mama echoed, taking Philip’s little hands in her own.

“I’m not a girl,” Philip whispered.

“Okay,” Papa said. “Do you wanna tell us more?”

“I’m a boy,” Philip said, his voice the slightest bit more confident after being encouraged by Papa.

“Oh, sweetie,” Eliza said, her voice breaking. She pulled Philip close to her. “How long?” she said into his hair. “How long did you know and––” Her voice broke. Why was Mama crying? She pulled away and cupped his face with her hands. “My little baby in pain, all this time, and we––”

“Eliza,” Papa said gently. “It’s okay. It’s all okay. Look, he told us!” Alexander exclaimed, a grin on his face.

He. Philip felt like his insides had suddenly turned multicolor; like he was made of Christmas lights. He was grinning without even being aware of it.

“Oh,” Mama said with a sad chuckle. “Sweetheart, I am so happy you told us. I’m just so sorry if you were in pain all this time and we had no idea.”

“We love you,” Papa said, pulling Philip close to him now. “So, so much. Nothing could ever change that. I’ll do whatever it takes, I’ll even make a million mistakes, just to make this world safe and sound for you. To make you happy.” Papa stroked Philip’s hair and swayed side to side with him pressed against his chest.

When Papa finally let Philip go, Mama took his hands again.

“Do you… Have you chosen a name?”

“Yeah,” Philip said, a bit of anxiety seeping in again. What if they didn’t like his name?

“What is it?” Papa asked.

“Philip,” he said. This was the first time he’d said it to anyone, aside from himself, out loud. “Philip,” he said with more confidence. “For Grandpapa,” he said, referring to Mama’s father.

“It’s beautiful,” Mama whispered. “Just like you.”

Mama and Papa wrapped their arms around Philip, the three of them sitting there in a loving silence for some time. They knew there would be challenges to face, but they were fighters and they had each other. They had no doubt that that would be enough.

For now they simply wanted to celebrate, because on that night a son was born.

it’s super weird but tumblr’s pro-grudge holding attitude kinda makes me uncomfortable sometimes because i am a very soft hearted individual and holding a grudge would just drain my energy and make me feel terrible tBH

so here’s a shout out to people who can’t hold a grudge, who get mad when they can’t just keep being angry, whose heart hurts even for those who’ve hurt them, who know that it’s toxic for them to hold onto negativity

you aren’t any less valid and your anger isn’t any less important. if you need to let it go for the sake of your own health, you should do what’s best for you, there’s nothing wrong with being a gentle soul in this world, keep safe okay

anonymous asked:

I fucked a guy last night and when I pulled out shit came out... I really wanted to just to and throw up and have him leave but he was so awkward he just kinda froze all red and then he was like do you want to finish and I was too awkward to say no, so he helped me finish but it took forever and I barely came because I was so turned off by the whole scenario. He left and even kissed me, I ran to the shower afterwards now he won't stop messaging me to hang out again what do it do??!

It happens. It comes it anal sex. Clearly most people don’t plan on that happening. What you could do is actually be supportive. He clearly likes you. If you don’t that’s fine, but this shouldn’t be the reason why. Honestly, if you are going to treat him badly because of this accident then maybe you’re not mature enough for sex.

898) When I was going to come out as bisexual to my friends I was super nervous. My guy best friend noticed on the bus and asked what was wrong. I said I’m gonna tell everyone something today that might change the way you look at me. He started guessing and said that I was coming out as bi. Skipping to later on I told my friends which they said they could kinda tell that I was bi before saying anything and I told my guy best friend. Which he’s not all for LGBT or doesn’t really support it but he said,“Just because your bi doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop being your best friend.” And with him saying that showed me how grown up and serious he could be. And even tho he doesn’t really support LGBT he didn’t cut ties with me, he didn’t make fun of me, he didn’t spread to everyone. He accepted me and that’s all I ever hoped for.

anonymous asked:

i've been struggling with my sexuality lately, i think i might be pansexual bc lately i've thought "if i were to date i wouldn't necessarily say no to a girl or nb person" and i've just found myself being generally attracted to genders other than male. but it fucking terrifies me cuz all my family is pretty homophobic and i would have no idea how to come out to my friends, not to mention i'm not even sure??? idk what you could possibly say to this it i just kinda needed to rant to someone sorry

Remember you don’t need to know right now I personally am not out to my homophobic parents and family either and it’s not safe so I don’t plan to for a few years. And remember that even if your parents don’t support you there will be LOADS if others who do and love you and if your friends don’t support you either they aren’t real friends but remember you don’t have to know right now take all the time you need and no matter what I NO MATTER WHAT will always love you =^•w•^=💕💕💕💕💕💕

@bitch-i-am-adorable

 

something i kinda wish they’d stop doing in…

omg I didn’t know anyone else had this pet peeve. me too!!

omg really? i thought i was alone lol, tho that’s unlikely with all the well-educated sci fi fans out there… i’ve been marathoning star trek so this comes up a LOT. star wars might’ve been worse tho, with their numerous “desert planets”

planets like that could be a possibility if atmospheres weren’t present, but if that was the case humans couldn’t survive there! they gotta stop acting like these one-climate planets could support carbon based life as we know it. 

anonymous asked:

EDODA! I feel not so great but!! A repressed memory popped up and it has me so,,,,upset but also relieved? It explains a lot about me and I'm just,,,I've reached out to people for support and validation and they're all so nice I'm crying. I know I'm gonna need therapy because my PTSD is so bad but that'll be next year. For now I'm gonna live and fight and get help one day I kinda wanna explain the memory in another ask if that's okay too :0 ~👻ghost king

ah yeah, them repressed memories suck tbh. it’s a normal reaction to have come conflicting feelings about memories, especially bad ones. and i’m super super proud of you for reaching out! that takes a heckload of strength!!

and of course you can explain the memory!

love you, ghost king <3

anonymous asked:

I don't understand people that stop supporting you because you aren't drawing joji 24/7. Like, your art is so beautiful and precious how can people not support it?!! Also people have various things they like so they shouldn't draw just one thing. Love your art and I hope you have a great day ❤️

It’s basically like; I feel they get bored if I do art of Final Fantasy or Overwatch one, because they are games related; not to mention that it kinda saddens me because Final Fantasy has been part of my life for like straight 12 years and I am 21 so imagine. I try to make people understand that I will do indeed continue drawing Joji, hell I have some drawing coming up! But right now I feel like changing a little. Not to mention that the official Final Fantasy 15 page opened their messaging box temporally for fan arts and so and I am struggling the hell out.

But thank you so much anon, for this kind message and support. <33333

anonymous asked:

Hi! May I get a match up? I'm okay with any gender but no one under 21 please. I'm shy until I get comfortable with someone, I have bad anxiety and I don't like to be touched unless I'm comfortable with the people, I love sweets, cute things, and spooky things. I'm constantly reminding my friends that I love them. My anxiety is kinda weird where I can't talk to strangers if it's for myself but if it's for a friend then I'm totally fine. I like to use video games and music as an escape. (1/2)

ANONYMOUS SAID: I’m not very good when it comes to standing up for myself but I 100% have my friend’s backs. my friends have also described me as the mom friend because of how supportive I can be. So yea, not sure what else to say here haha (2/2)

Your match is Shizuo Heiwajima.

Now hear me out when I say that Shizuo is actually a very patient person. Yes, he snaps easily with his temper and anger, but he’s never in any way pushy. He’s simply straight forward and honest, but especially around people he deeply respects and whom he considers his friends, he’s very supportive. He’s the absolute last person to ever push someone out of their comfort zone to extreme extents and is a firm believer that if people need their time and space, then they deserve to have exactly that and nothing less! It’s something he can very much relate to, he’s not fond of random people pushing themselves onto him and knows perfectly well how it is to just need some time to establish the right bond. So when you need your time to let him approach you, he’s not going to invade that personal space.

Secondly, just like you are the mom friend, he has a similar role too. His family and friends are people he wants to support and protect at all costs, he’d do anything for them in the brink of a second, no hesitation. It has him forget to look after himself a lot, too and I’m going to assume it could be similar with you as well. The two of you would look out for each other at all time and remind each other to take a breath every now and then too.

Moving on to your hobbies, both of you love sweets!!! Go share that shortcake and I know it’s going to be a back and forth of “You can have the strawberry.” – “No, you take it.” – “I want you to have it, though!” – “But I’m giving it to you!”. As for cute things, he’s going to show up with the biggest, most giant teddy bear you could ever find as a present eventually for you to cuddle whenever you feel anxious and/or sad and don’t want others around, but still need something to cling onto. He’s so into video game sessions with you too, especially when you’re playing co-op, you’re the dream team!

Oprah!Bitty pt 2

So Bitty’s show is basically the greatest thing since anything. Oprah is fully on board to be replaced like “this child made me the greatest pie in existence, I’m kinda sure that I’m in another dimension right now, let him be in charge of everything.”

It’s still so surreal for Bitty though. It’s one thing for his Youtube channel to explode once he and Jack come out together, but it’s another thing for a major news network to call you up like “hey you want a baking show that’s also a talk show?”

But Bitty takes it in stride. He focuses on finishing his schooling first, supporting Jack second, and then takes a deep breath and signs the network contract third. He gets an unprecedented three years to run his show, apparently one of the network producers was a huge fan of his blog, and the network can’t shut it down until three years is up.

Luckily for Bitty and the network investors, the show picks up instantly. Everyone is eager to see who this boy who won the heart of one of the most talented, hunkiest hockey players of the century, and that’s what brings in the audience the first week.

Everyone continues to watch for this charismatic, kind-hearted Georgia boy who loves to talk about the good in the world, bake pies, and is just so pure.

The first official interview Bitty does on his show is during the start of the second month. He asks Jack to come in, answer a few questions, and they can bake the pastry they made for WGSS120 / HIST376: Women, Food, & American Culture together.

Jack becomes a staple interview subject over the course of Bitty’s first three years on the show. 

On the third anniversary of the show’s first episode, he drops to one knee and proposes.

Of course, Bitty says yes.

6

Sherlock has an elaborate fever dream centered around a century-old case so he can find out how Moriarty might have survived only to come up empty. Ricoletti didn’t survive being shot in the head (when she was really shot), she was part of a bigger conspiracy. She faked her death to plant the idea that she was back from the dead, but to complete the illusion she had to really die. However, “The Bride” lived on; whoever wears the dress and comits the deeds is “The Bride.” No one can survive a shot to the head – there’s no way Moriarty’s alive. But he’s back. 

Which can mean only one thing:

Like “The Bride,” the name “Moriarty” is a title

The real question is, who’s playing his part? Well…

Lil’ Chop Shop Girl

another Gaby fanart cuz she’s the bae from U.N.C.L.E. amirite XD

i guess i need to start saving money now so i can buy the dvd when it comes out…

*ps: thanks for the overwhelming support for my previous gaby fanart! usually i get no more than 5 notes so it kinda surprised me! and hello new followers! i hope you enjoy your stay!

WOW, thank you for all the support!!! I am so happy that this silly blog could put some smiles on plenty of people’s faces!

Sadly, I must say I’m kinda in a hiatus right now due to school and stuff,, but i might be able to post doodles every so now and then! Hope everyone is having lotsa fun in the meantime.

But for now:

anonymous asked:

hey i'm a huuuuuuge fan of chanbaek. i really am i swear on my life. but i see people saying that chanyeol has the tendency of being an opportunist and even though i hate to admit it i kinda agree with them? like he kind of jumps from member to member to make the most out of a situation? this has been bugging me so i wanna ask what your opinions are thanks

Hello there! We’re glad you’re a big fan of baekyeol, please keep supporting them. You don’t have to swear that you ship them dear, it’s okay to have doubts or thoughts like these from time to time! It’s very normal. 

I’ve personally come across a numerous amount of fans that are pretty sure Chanyeol is an opportunist. The direct definition of an opportunist is: A seeker of opportunity. Having this in mind, I have to agree on that Chanyeol is an opportunist. However, I have noticed there are two types of opportunists, at least from my point of view. There are the opportunists who only think of themselves and seek their victories, pushing aside what others might want or think. They only think about themselves and what benefits them. They don’t care about the consequences. The different kind of opportunists on the other hand, seek their victory and the victories of others, too. I would classify Chanyeol as the second type of opportunist. I’ll explain why.

Keep reading

Im kind of getting sick of all these youtubers coming out as bi and making it a big deal. dont get me wrong, theres nothing wrong with being bi, since i myself am kinda bi? its hard to explain and i dont feel like explaining it right now. but i see youtubers with MILLIONS of fans and theyre like “its just so hard for me” like what? no its not? you have a million supporting fans that will support you through everything? and then some them cry in it and after a while, i got sick and tired of it. again theres nothing wrong with being bi, but people act like theyre about to confess that they killed someone. it really isnt that big of a deal. no ones going to hate you, and the ones that do? good riddance i guess. i know if anyone i knew dislikes me because of my sexuality, id be glad they werent my friends anymore. it isnt just shanes video that made me want to post this, this is an opinion ive had for a while, but this was the straw the broke the camels back i guess. i can barely make it a minute into these “im bi” videos honestly, theyre so awful and boring. we get it, youre bi, theres no need to make a 10 minute long video about it. congrats on coming out, but stop with the waterworks, its clearly just for more drama. i doubt the people in these actually think its hard being bi or something. because its not. i could go on about bi erasure and shitty things bi people go through, but this post is long enough. 

tldr: i think bi youtubers should stop fishing for attention in their coming out videos