Characters: Min Yoongi x Reader A/N: Au! You don’t hear music until you fall in love
‘You’re the panadol I need, you heal something.’
Days morphed into weeks, time flowing faster than surely imaginable. Maybe it could all be blamed on the mere fact that Yoongi was now 24 years old and the world seemed to be moving ahead of him, always one step in front. Tugging within had him feeling like he would forever be reaching for something he couldn’t quite grasp, and it terrified him beyond no means.
“Yah, you worry too much! You seem to be doing well at the moment. Didn’t you get asked to help compose a song with a well known singer?” Hoseok inquired, bringing his cup to his lips, downing a sip of comfortingly warm coffee. Within Hoseok’s eyes, the stars, Yoongi always seemed to think. It partially irritated Yoongi, as he was envious that even so early in the morning, the universe could be captured within one man. Hoseok was everything Yoongi wanted to be. Hoseok was everything Yoongi needed to keep him on the straight path of morality, with some motivation thrown in.
“Yeah, but they asked me to help, Hobi. As if I can’t be trusted on my own to compose even just one song. And we can both pretend that it’s not because I can’t hear the music, but it most definitely is. I can’t help but feel like, if I had fallen in love, by now I would be composing and producing entire albums. I hate that I have to find someone out there, fall in love and go through all those emotions just to be able to fulfill my dream. Almost like someone is holding me back,” Yoongi nonchalantly poured the thoughts of his heart out to the man across the table, his eyes lazily wandering outside the window. It’s something he seemed to do a lot, and by now Hoseok knew that it was a sign of the deeper workings of his brain, and that although his words had ended, his thoughts on them had not.
Thank You! Thank You for everything. Thank You for all songs, thank You for your beautiful voice, thank You for all great concerts, even if I wasn’t there to see you live. And now, I don’t even have a chance. I’ll miss You forever. We’ll all miss You forever. Always and forever. Thank You for everything.
<b>Super Junior:</b> old school legends, no one can compare. Loyal af fans, still stan them after Hyukjae's bad eyebrow era and all the scandals. Kings of hosting shows. Literally it's just Heechul holding down the fort and exposing everyone he can while everybody else gets their military service done. #justiceforSungmin #makeSiwonCEOofSM<p/><b>Big Bang:</b> kpop kings, basically carved the way for third generations. Were hella problematic sometimes but tbh who hasn't. G-Dragon could literally sing about crayons and make a music video with TOP while they pee on each other and still top the charts....oh wait, he did. Daesung out here setting the beauty standards for everyone in s. Korea. #getTaeyangashirt #makeSeungriCEOofYG<p/><b>SHINee:</b> kpop princes, but everyone and their mom knows they're kings. It's just 4 proud moms taking care of their sonshine, Lee Taemin. They don't attend variety shows, variety shows attend them. Out here roasting everybody including themselves, and every producer is scared to have them guest tbh. Vocals out of this world, get ready to be blessed. #shineeorpinee #whereisJonghyun'skazoo<p/><b>Infinite:</b> invented synchronized choreography. Hella supportive of each other and will probably jump off a cliff if Woohyun suggested it. Tbh no one knows what's going on in Dongwoo's head, but it's all good bc he's the resident happy virus. Only the members are allowed to pick on their leader, they'll bite your head off if you do. Still one of the most underrated groups, it's insane. #redchilipepperpaste #kingsofsychronization<p/><b>EXO:</b> just a single mom raising her 8 kids after a tragic breakup. There are two types of fans: ot12 China line forever & everyone is gay for each other. Still waiting on Baekhyun to adopt us all. Everyone suffers when EXO isn't promoting. Always fighting something/are angsty in their MV's ??? #lipstickchateau #yixingcomehome<p/><b>BTOB:</b> legit the most extra group ever. Besties with Vixx, Ilhoon was probably a love child between Minhyuk and Hakyeon. A member can fit his whole fist in his mouth, and the other can break a whole watermelon with his head...don't test them. Have the most amazing ballad songs but are always underrated. #Peniel'swalltwerk #stopChangsub<p/><b>VIXX:</b> concept kings, there isn't a single thing they couldn't pull off. We were all baptized by Hakyeon's dancing. Have the best relationship with their fans, even wrote a song about Starlights. Call Ravi if you wanna make a cute diss track about your enemy. Possibly might be the epitome of contradiction, you're gonna have whiplash after every comeback. #whereisLeo'ssolo #KenVi4life<p/><b>BTS:</b> actually are hella cool once you get past the problematic fans. Massive headaches are all you're gonna experience after trying to figure out the meaning of a music video. Buddies who watch porn together, stay together. They go so hard on their choreography ?? Shook. The true definition of "started from the bottom now we're here" #gucciislove #gucciislife<p/><b>Topp Dogg:</b> could probably rule the third generation of kpop if they weren't so underrated. They have nothing to do but go around and kiss men's lips all day. Peppero embasadors. Titty Boyz. Fans are loyal af, and probably have one of the cutest fan names ever. They're each others biggest shippers, probably. #hanjooruinedme #WOW<p/><b>Got7:</b> if you thought btob was bad, you're gonna have a stroke. Dab7. Diversity at its finest. Always needing to be in trend and act hip, just don't let Bambam near the aux cord. Besties with probably every group out there. Stop taking off your shirt literally no one cares ???? No cucumbers. #EEEEEAAAAZZY. #welcometoYoungjae'sclass<p/><b>Monsta X:</b> were so awkward around each other during No.Mercy but are now the best of besties. Everyone wants to know what Changkyun is thinking. Shownu, please drop that screamo album. Someone is always screaming at some point and no one knows why. Hyungwon is on his way to becoming an international meme/runway model. #pepewho? #bringwonhosomenoodles<p/><b>Day6:</b> not the Fandom name we wanted, but it's the one we deserve. It's just jae trying to westernize his 4 meme kids, while also attempting to teach them the meaning of life: Bob. Everyone is shook now that JYP finally knows what to do with them. Tough love with father jae, but he totally doesn't hate the second maknae. #lobsterforjae #wonpildumbasalways<p/><b></b> lmao don't be offended by any of this bc I literally have no life so u have nothing to be offended about<p/></p>
Crazy schedule, still manages to hang around with friends.
Insanely driven. Vital necessity of being The Best™.
Doesn’t have time for bullshit, ever.
Generally sweet, scary when mad (emphasize ‘scary’).
Highly motivated and ambitious.
No drama, thank you.
Flawless facial control (low-key scary as well).
INTP’s recklessness makes her have a mini heart attack every now and again.
Has been super busy lately.
And by ‘lately’ we mean since always until forever.
Common phrases include:
– “You might find this of some help”. – “This is so interesting”. – “Yes, I’ve read about it”. – “Sorry, I already have plans”. – “I’d actually prefer to do it myself”. – “Really, just let /me/ do it :)”.
Laid back attractiveness and incredible charisma.
Bulldozer mode when mad.
Put-together and confident.
Has a fame for being flirty.
Hasn’t had that many partners at all.
“wrecking ball” (- mother mother) is his life theme song.
Is actually quite delicate.
Almost all his facial expressions are masks.
Hiding his real emotions seems to have become a life purpose.
His deep interests surprise most people.
“Is very intelligent, but way too lazy at school” squad with INTP.
Is seen as a bad influence.
Actually has a pretty solid moral code.
Fashion style score: BADASS. (the aesthetics are real).
Common phrases include:
– “Think about it this way”. – “Why, am I bothering you?” + smirk. – “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to your bullshit”. – “Why does everyone believe I’m lying?”
Works silently because success speaks for itself.
The library is his natural habitat.
Very specific fields of interest.
Seems very polite, and he is.
(Doesn’t actually believe in politeness itself, has only learned to follow formalities in order to make his life easier).
Crisis over personal traits of which the analysis were thought to be concluded.
Really brain, why this again. Why.
Has learned to master several skills that he doesn’t even enjoy.
Common phrases include:
– “No”. (Default reply to INTP’s proposes). – “That is /such/ a bad idea”. – “Actually…” (*insert unasked correction*). – “I’m still considering it”. – “What do you mean it’s not polite to tell them how wrong they are?” – “Of course I cannot change my schedule” (to ENTP).
Has strong opinions on matters that she has given a lot of thought (and we mean a lot).
Gets overwhelmed by being the center of attention.
Became an Ancient Rome expert overnight.
Comfy discrete clothes.
Deadlines are a very flexible concept.
Actually, every concept should be prone to constant revision.
Study time is the perfect time for introspection and/or new ideas development.
Either absolutely hyped or completely indolent.
Common phrases include:
– “My nights are a mix of insomnia and belated lunch”. – “What if we…” (Proposes crazily awesome plan to INTJ). – “There are pubs in which you can hear a much more refined language than in the Congress”. – “Because apathy is the foundation of my being” (as a response to ENTJ asking her why she doesn’t just /do/ the stuff).
Difficulty to compute feelings (we know, we know, ‘such a cliché’. Still true).
Allergies: stupidity, ignorance, illogical social rules.
“WHY do people refuse to THINK”.
Rich lexicon (xNTJs’ default mode, xNTPs’ show it when the situation is worth it).
Best debates between them, NFs are sometimes invited.
Would always choose knowledge over ignorance, even if it implies unhappiness.
“What do you mean it was offensive? It’s the truth!” (As a response to ENFJ).
What she means:
In 2008, Taylor Swift dated Joe Jonas, lead singer of the Jonas Brothers. Their relationship was Taylor's first highly publicized relationship and attracted some of Taylor's biggest media attention at the time. Taylor thought she and Joe were genuinely in love and possibly meant to be, but Joe abruptly dumped her over the phone in under 25 seconds. Taylor then went on to make the infamous Joe Jonas doll video, wrecked Joe on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and publicly admitted that the breakup song "Forever & Always" was about Joe. It was later revealed that Joe had left Taylor for another woman. In turn, Joe wrote the song "Much Better" about Taylor, saying his new girlfriend was much better than Taylor and calling Taylor's fans crazy. On Taylor's next album,Speak Now, Taylor wrote the song "Last Kiss" about Joe, revealed with it's secret message "Forever and Always." She also wrote "Better Than Revenge" about the woman Joe left her for. During one night of the Speak Now Tour, Joe Jonas came, and Taylor and he looked into each other's eyes as Taylor sang Last Kiss, a song of missing him and wishing he would come back to her. On her next album, RED, Taylor wrote the song "Holy Ground" about that specific incident, saying she appreciated their original relationship and glad she had him in her life and would always remember their good times. Taylor then released her 5th album, 1989, and posted public photos of her and Joe hanging out, Taylor now dating someone else and Joe dating one of Taylor's friends. Taylor also admitted that writing "Better Than Revenge" was an immature mistake, saying she knew Joe left her because he wanted to, not because he was "stolen" and they just weren't meant to be. Taylor and Joe were also spotted at Coachella talking and hugging and at one of Taylor's 4th of July parties. It is now the year 2017, and Taylor is dating someone else named Joe, and she and Joe Jonas are good friends, and Taylor's prophecy that she would only watch his life in pictures never came true. All was well.
I remember all the promises we’ve made together—all the good things you’ve said that I thought would last forever. We were like kids writing our futures without knowing how time could change us—how the world will try to always make us reminisce the past. How the people around us will try to mold us into something we didn’t want.
It was the different type of love. I don’t know if fate is real or if destiny confuses us about what we feel. But I always imagine you with me, and my heart beating with yours in symphony. It was the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. The most wonderful feeling I couldn’t get tired of.
There’s always something that goes in between. Pedestrians passing by— every time the traffic lights signal us to stop. When you were walking fast yet caught up behind someone who is walking slowly enough. When you already want to do the things you love, but you saw something that puts a doubt in your heart. When you thought you already found someone who you can’t enjoy living without.
I choose you over anything else, hoping that you’ll also end up picking me over everybody else. Yet I put a finger on your lips telling you to stop spreading all the sugar coated lies. I point to your chest, hoping for you to be honest. Darling I think I couldn’t take it anymore, if you continue to pretend that you still love me more.
Believe when I say that everything will be okay, even if it will take a lot of time for me to heal. In the end I will surely learn from all of this things. I will still carry the love I have somewhere inside me. Not for you, but for—each and every—broken part of me. This is how I should let go of you. One by one, I’ll remove my fingertips away from holding your hands. One by one I’ll let go of you so you can rest and breathe. Day by day, letting go will ease the pain.
And until my hands stop bleeding, my soul will suddenly appreciate the wonderful life I’m living. In the end my heart will learn how to love myself more—and will finally consider it as my home.
- you and stiles are neighbors, but he didn’t really notice you much.
- that is until you hit a puberty stage in the seventh grade, and suddenly he was tripping over his feet crossing the street to your house. you were shocked when he asked if you wanted to ride bikes with him.
- but you said yes anyways cuz how could you turn down the adorable little spazz.
- you and Stiles became best friends easily in the one day, and overtime you him and Scott were a tight little group.
- scott asked you to your first dance in eighth grade, yes, scott. You’d looked between him and Stiles, and when the buzz cut boy said nothing, you said yes to scott
- no, Scott did not have a crush on you, nor you him, but you had a great time that night. though when a slow song came on, Scott made an excuse for punch and asked if you’d rather dance with stiles
- Stiles barely knew how to dance to slow songs, but you taught him. holding your arms around his neck, and his at your waist comfortably. and at one point you’d laid your head on his chest and made him promise you’d be best friends forever. he did without hesitation.
- in freshman year, it was painfully obvious that he was head over heels for Lydia Martin
- (or so you thought. that’s just what stiles wanted you to think)
- but your friendship continued nonetheless, and your growing feelings for the boy continued as well.
- the both of you always made witty remarks. as well as being on the same level of sarcasm. so the banter was great
- except to Scott, who was constantly worn out by it
- seriously. he always took out his inhaler whenever you two got into it
- you’d really pushed yourself to look for nice for homecoming that year. You’d forced Scott to take you to the mall and critique each and every dress you tried on
- he told you nervously that you looked hot in the one you’d ended up picking, and you gave him finger guns
- STILES ASKED YOU TO DANCE
- you went with Scott and Stiles to the woods that fateful night, in hopes of seeing a severed body
- you and Stiles figured out together that Scott was a werewolf
- when he went to confront Scott about it, he made you stay at his house. It turned into a nasty argument, which ended with him yelling that he wasn’t letting you get hurt in the process
- you made up easily. It was you and Stiles. Of course you did
- but you were with Scott and Stiles when Scott was chained up to the radiator, so that he wouldn’t go crazy on the full moon.
- you sat with Stiles in the hallway, both of you trying not to cry to the sound of Scott’s audible agony. You saw your freckled friend close his eyes tight, and leaned your head onto his shoulder. The action provided more comfort than you’d ever know
- the winter formal was a colossal disaster. Scott snuck in, Stiles was with Lydia the whole night, Jackson was a jerk, you were left alone the entire night, and Lydia got attacked by Peter.
- you did comfort Stiles a little bit later that night in the hospital
- and you beat the shit out of Peter Hale with a baseball bat. Which resulted in you getting scratched deep on your arm. Scott Stiles and Allison took you to the hospital the second that Peter’s throat was slashed. Scott taking Stiles’ keys and starting the Jeep, Allison rushing into the passenger’s seat. Stiles was holding your nearly unconscious body in the backseat, letting you lay across his lap. You didn’t really comprehend how hard he was crying
- you didn’t know that he slept in the waiting room for two nights in a row while you were under strict ‘family only’ visiting hours
- but he ran into the room the second Melissa allowed it. You cried upon seeing him, weakly holding your arms out for him to hug you. Your pain washing away as soon as he held you in his arms.
- you had to stay in one more night, and Stiles stayed again much to your protests, and he pulled up a folding chair in the room. Sitting next to your bed and laying his head on the sheets. He accidentally fell asleep before you did, so you spent half an hour just running your fingers over his buzz cut and thinking about the life you had.
- but don’t worry, the cut wasn’t deep enough to turn you into anything
- you and Stiles became messengers for Scott and Allison. A tiring, yet sometimes fun job
- Stiles telling you all of his suspicions about Allison’s grandfather, Gerard
- as well as complaining about how cocky Jackson had become
- standing up for Stiles (and Scott when Jackson dared threaten a werewolf) whenever the little shit poked fun at him.
- he stood up for you too, because Jackson… well he was just a dick
- you became closer with Allison and Lydia, but your friendship with Stiles never faltered
- when Stiles found out that Matt was stalking both you and Allison, he flipped shit, and you were crying because you didn’t want him to know. (because you knew he’d freak out
- Stiles didn’t tell you he punched Matt the next day
- you and Stiles laughed for a long time about how ironic it was that Jackson was the kanima. I mean, come on, a lizard? Of course it was him. Jackson’s a fucking snake.
- it got unfunny real fast at Lydia’s birthday party
- you had refused to drink, knowing someone had to have spiked it. So you saw Stiles lose his mind in the middle of the party, and dragged him outside. He kept mumbling on about disappointing his father, which made you cry.
- you and Stiles accidentally passed out spooning on Lydia’s couch that night
- the night at the train station still freaks you out. First Matt tried to get you to join him, and when you’d told him to fuck off, he had Jackson the kanima paralyze you. Your limp body was tied to a chair for the entire night, and you had to watch him pull a gun on Stiles, and shoot Scott.
- you later caught Gerard drowning him when you’d been heading home. You’d grabbed Stiles’ hand so fast, unsure of what to do. Yes, the boy needed to be punished, you surely didn’t want him to have a happily every after… but he was so afraid and in so much pain.
- you Stiles and Scott picked a lot of classes together over the summer
- Stiles began to grow his hair out, which you supported more the longer it got
- also had a summer road trip to San Diego for a weekend. Big back to school shopping spree
- you were nervous going back to school after the shitty way last year ended, but Stiles constantly assured you that it would all be okay
- you complained to him constantly about the awkwardness of being friends with both Scott and Allison, and how you barely mentioned one around the other.
- “but I’m your best friend, right?” to which you’d eagerly nodded to
- groaning the second Scott told you about the alpha pack.
- “can’t i catch a break!?”
- you and Stiles catching a quick two second flicker in Scott’s eyes, shifting from brown to yellow, to red, then back to yellow. You exchanged a glance that said you’d talk about it after fighting the alpha pack.
- you getting closer with Isaac, and sitting with him on the bus ride to the motel (you didn’t know Stiles was pestering Scott as to why you’d choose to sit next to a boy who wore scarves that looked like scarves that you would buy. But Scott was in too much pain to care about his friend’s love life problems)
- you had known all along Lydia and Allison were trailing the bus, because Lydia was snap chatting you about how Allison was so still in love with Scott. While you were snap chatting her about your Stiles problems
- when you stopped at a rest stop so Allison could stitch up Scott, you were freaking out outside the bathroom, but Lydia and Isaac had no idea how to comfort you
- Stiles had rushed over and held you in his arms, cradling your head against his chest and cooing softly to you.
- “you’re okay, and you know Scott will be okay, don’t worry too much then others will wonder what’s going on in there”
- after that, Isaac sat with Scott the rest of the bus ride to the motel, and you sat with Stiles
- most of the night, Stiles made you stay in his and Scott’s motel room because weird things were happening. He’d told you to stay in there after Ethan tried to cut open his stomach with a saw
- “Stiles you know I can handle myself fine-”
- “I know you can, I do, but this is different, they have no idea what’s going on either so I need you to just stay in here, and stay safe”
- you’d listened, and ended up falling asleep on the bed waiting for someone to return
- you woke up when the door opened, a soaking Scott and exhausted Stiles dragging in. Stiles asked if you were staying with them instead of the girls tonight, and you’d nodded limply.
- after Scott got in the shower, Stiles collapsed onto the mattress next to you, mumbling ‘we’re sharing a bed by the way’ and you’d only nodded
- you restrained from screaming when he told you what had happened that resulted in Scott being drenched in gasoline. The thought of Stiles… him being gone… it killed you. But you didn’t say anything, just snuggled up against him and fell asleep in his arms. It meant more than words could’ve said
- you sat with him on the bus the next morning too. He didn’t wake you up when you left, just carried your sleeping body out to the bus and gave you his flannel to use as a blanket
- you woke up next to him relatively happy upon finding the clothing on you and your head on his shoulder, his head atop yours as he played on his phone
- you were taken with Melissa Chris and Noah, because you’d figured out that Jennifer was the darach, and what her next move was. You were on your way to warn Stiles when she’d caught you
- you were trapped in the nemeton, but you still just had this feeling in you that Scott became an alpha. You’d later learn that it was because in a way, without being a werewolf, you were his beta
- when Stiles got you and his father back, the group hug between you three was so tight you cried harder
- he called you the second he started getting night terrors
- and soon Noah began to just come pick you up and bring to the house in the middle of the night because you were the only one who could get him to stop screaming
“shh Stiles, it’s not real I promise” you laid down next to him, pulling the covers over both of you. When Stiles shakily nodded, laying down with you, Noah left the room.
“It’s not real” He’d repeat over and over.
- you always stayed on your respective sides of the bed
- you helped Allison get her stability back in the woods, and helped Stiles get his ability to read back
- it took you stepping on a bear trap for it to happen, but hey! he did it!
- Stiles told you first about his dementia
- you were as calm as possible, hugging him and telling him it’d be okay, not shedding a tear
- you went straight to Scott’s and screamed and cried and beat up his chest with your fists in anger, eventually falling to the ground in defeat and exhaustion
- you felt as numb as Stiles looked
- you went with him and Scott to the hospital for the MRI, the three of you group hugging when it was all over
- Trying not to cry. A lot those days. Mostly not in front of Stiles, so you ended up crashing on the McCall living room couch and taking over Allison’s bed.
“Maybe you should go talk to Stiles, I think you guys need some closure with each other”
“Scotty, I love you, but that would just end with me telling him I love him and there’s enough shit already”
“Stiles, you can’t just sit next to her anymore. You gotta tell her it’s all going to be okay. You’re little game of ‘we don’t need words’ can’t last forever”
“Scotty, I love you, but that would just end with me telling her I love her and there’s enough shit already”
- You eventually broke. Like a twig actually. You’d been sitting on his bed, messing around on your phone when he told you that he was going to admit himself to Eichen.
“Are you insane? Did you actually lose your mind?!”
“y/n… maybe they can help…”
“Why can’t we help?!”
“Professional help y/n”
- You cried a lot, too much, you got tears and makeup all over his favorite flannel. But he didn’t care, he was just glad you finally showed some emotion
- You went with him Scott and Noah to the hospital. You stood silently with them as he checked in, holding his hand so tight you wondered if he was in any pain. But he didn’t show any
- You didn’t let go until he hugged Scott and his father goodbye. Noah excused himself to go ‘start the car’ and Scott ‘offered to help’
(they shipped you two hard)
- Stiles giving you the biggest bear hug and lifting you off the ground.
“Just promise not to die in here, this place reeks of depression and I’m not even a werewolf”
“I promise. I’m coming back okay?”
- holding his face between your hands and wiping away the tears (he was trying not to let show) with your thumbs
“I’m holding you to that promise”
- two days later not being able to take it anymore. Lydia had offered a million times to conceal the bags under your eyes, and Allison offered a million times to take you shopping. Kira even invited you over for a sleepover.
- Scott being the only one who wasn’t pushing you to do anything.
- in fact he was the one who drove you to Eichen to give Stiles his pillow
“I’m sorry ma’am, he can’t have visitors yet-”
- Scott being surprised when you pushed past the nurse and waltzed towards Stiles’ room because you were usually so calm and collected in public, and never disrespectful towards your elders
- Swiping a key card off of a passing orderly, and pretty much sneaking into Stiles’ little chamber that was hardly an actual warm
- Your heart broke when you looked at him. His eyes were dark, there were pink bags under them, and his skin was much paler than usual
“y/n? Scott? How’d you guys even get in?”
- being tugged into a hug that made you feel like home wasn’t a place anymore
- he smiled when you showed him that you’d brought his pillow
“Stiles… what did they do to you?”
- your reunion was short lasted, and you were being dragged out by a male nurse named Brunski
“I’m gonna get out soon!”
- hearing him yell those same words over and over as Brunski kicked you and Scott out of the building
- wearing Stiles’ lacrosse hoodie for the next few days, waiting for him to come back
- When Noah picked him up, he brought him straight to your house, again, shattering your heart at his clearly unstable persona
- He told you first that he’d known Void had taken over
- You both sat on your bed for a long time, criss cross in the middle of the mattress just talking over everything that happened
- He was crying by the time he got to the part about Void making him have sex with Malia (which he never really knew if it was Void..or him…) and kill his room mate Oliver
“I’m a killer I’m a killer y/n I belong there I’m a psycho”
“No.. no Stiles that’s not you, that’s the demon it’s not you”
- He broke down a few times that day, and you had him lay his head in your lap so you could softly run your hands through his hair. He fell asleep mumbling something about voices
- You called the pack quickly and had them come over
- BIG pack meeting (while Stiles was asleep in your room) about what you were going to do
“y/n what if he takes over and you- or or- or anyone- what if someone gets hurt?”
“You’re not going to hurt me Stiles”
- having that conversation a lot
- in school just grabbing onto his hand when he’d get quiet, in the halls at lunch, in class
- whenever you were separated, texting him constantly
you: how do you feel? Stiles: idk lonely you: you’re in bio right? stiles: yeah you: I’m on my way over tell the teach you’re goin to the bathroom
- this happened many many times in a single day
- seriously his teacher began to ask if he had some bladder infection
- the day Stiles Void was in Derek’s loft was a hard day for you. Watching Chris pull a gun on the boy made you scream, but before you could go up to the Man, Derek had pinned your arms behind your back
- it hurt more seeing Void smirk upon the action
“oh your little spazz is so pissed right now. he’s quite angry with you Derek” The demon chuckled louder when everyone exchanged confused glances. “Well, you’re hurting y/n”
- you officially became afraid of Void when Allison had attempted to taser him, and it had no effect on him.
- you hid behind Scott while he was tied to the chair
“he’s so upset y/n, he’s upset that he’s the one scaring you”
- you moved further behind Scott, gripping onto the Alpha’s arm and burying your face into his back
“oh this is new… jealousy. he’s not a happy camper”
- you silently thanked Melissa when she put a thick duct tape over his mouth
- watching him pull foot after foot of rope from his throat horrified you in a way that will haunt your nightmares for many years to come
“it’s me guys, I swear it’s me”
- beating Scott to it, and both you and Stiles crashing onto the ground in a hug. You cried into his neck, your body crushing his chest. His arms wound around you and he cried too
- you stuck next to him in the McCall living room while everyone else came up with the plan to get Lydia back from Void
“you’re okay now?”
- he’d responded by putting his head on your shoulder, and taking your hand in his
“I’m here to save my best friend”
“And I’m here to save mine”
- Scott had looked at you, prompting you to say what everyone (minus Stiles) knew you were here for (to save the boy you loved) but you’d only nodded, too afraid in the moment to say anything
- you’d screamed, nearly louder than Lydia upon seeing an Oni pierce a blade through your Argent friend
- Stiles had grabbed onto you so fast, holding your face against his chest as you were still screaming, body convulsing against his.
- he ended up having to pick you up off the ground, while Scott was with Allison. He carried you to the jeep, and you sat in silence with him in the backseat
- Chris took you both with him, Scott, Isaac, and Lydia to the police station to *cough* explain the death of Allison Argent
- Noah let you stay silent, seeing how much deeper it was effecting you
- the man took you with him and Stiles home for the night
- you barely slept, you just laid in bed across from Stiles, who was holding both your hands between his
“It’s my fault, I did it to her-”
“Stop, you didn’t, you know you didn’t”
- you were already out of tears, the entire void experience had drained you, so you were mostly in silence. But here and there Stiles would say something to you
“Do you hate me?”
“Of course not”
- he asked this a few more times that night, until eventually you leaned up, and kissed his cheek, then buried your face into his shirt, whispering a soft ‘no’ before finally falling asleep
- you were pissed when he held the sword to his chest, the stupid boy thinking that it would help everybody
“Stiles don’t, Stiles don’t please, please don’t, drop it Stiles please”
- when he’d dropped it, you’d wrapped both arms around his waist, and didn’t release the entire night
- you freaked when he passed out after void turned to dust
- but when he woke up, you were more relieved than you’d ever been before
- the both of you went together to get clothes for Allison’s funeral
“Is this one okay?” you would ask softly
“I think it’s beautiful”
“Stiles you said that about the last four”
- your hand was wrapped in his throughout the entire ceremony
- and after, you him Scott Lydia and Kira went to the McCall house, just wanting to grieve together
- it took you a few weeks to find actual peace, but Stiles was there with you through all of it
- but the day Stiles came to your doorstep an eager and boyish grin on his face as he told you Malia Tate (a girl who’d quickly become your friend) was his girlfriend, you’d lied to him for the first time
“good for you Stiles, I’m glad you found someone who made you happy”
while on the inside it was more like…
“that’s great Stiles, not like I had my fucking heart on my fucking sleeve for you. glad that you found someone who’s better than me”
- but he was smiling so happily, you couldn’t tell him the truth
- Scott chewed you out for lying, Kira chewed you out for not telling Stiles you loved him, and Lydia chewed you out for not jumping Stiles’ bones when you’d had the chance
- and every time there was some sort of opportunity for you to say something to Stiles, Scott would give you a look, or Lydia would kick you under the table, or Kira would cough. Sometimes all three
- but you were somewhat friends with Malia. and you were friends with Stiles. So you let them have their relationship, and you slowly grew away from Stiles
- you became closer with Liam, a new beta, and his friend Mason
- you loved Mason
“Scott, Scott who’s that kid she’s talking to? Since when did she go for freshmen?”
“Stiles, he’s gay, and you have a girlfriend”
- you didn’t know this, but every time Scott reminded Stiles of his girlfriend, he did it bitterly.
“Is uh… is Stiles and Malia going okay?”
“I dunno why don’t you ask”
- Scott became a very bitter person when either of you brought up the other. But Lydia would back him up with something snarky
- when in Mexico, watching Stiles let Malia dance dirty with him, went right on the list of things that would haunt your dreams. Which sucked, seeing that being stalked, attacked, and your best friend being murdered was on the same list
- you ended up getting yourself strapped to an electric chair, and Scott took most of the blows, but you got one for mouthing off to the Calevera’s henchman
- Stiles had screamed your name when you were released, your spasming body falling to the ground. But Lydia had gotten to you first, and Stiles just stood and watched as she held you and asked if you were alright repeatedly
“I-I-I-I’ll b-b-be al-alright”
- when the spasming ended, she helped you up, and Stiles couldn’t tear his eyes off you
- he’d never been jealous of Lydia before, but her arm around your waist as she walked you back out to the jeep seemed threatening to him
- you sat in the backseat on the ride home (the day was interesting… a young Derek being in the backseat and weird bone men attacking Kira and Malia. Not to mention the Calevera’s torturing you) Scott and Kira were on his bike following the Jeep. Malia in yourthe passengers- seat. And you were wedged between the younger version of Derek Hale, and Lydia on your other side
- young Derek was hitting on you, and you just let it happen. What? you liked the way Stiles would glare at the teen through the rear view mirror
- you’d gone with Scott Malia and Peter to the school for the Hale loft, and ended up getting attacked by Berserkers
- Stiles came to pick you guys up, and yelled at you for going. you’d stayed silent, not wanting to break the friendship you were painfully keeping up.
- Scott took you home on the motor bike, and when he dropped you off he asked you how much it was hurting you before you went to the door
“I don’t know what you’re talking about”
“I know when you lie, y/n”
“Then it seems to me you knew the answer when you asked the question”
- and when he heard your voice crack before you walked away, he did know the answer. more certain this time anyways
- you went to Lydia’s party, before it was a party anyways, and the blonde freshman lacrosse player, was hitting on you all. night. At one point he had himself leaning against you, both arms caging you against the wall.
“Alright, really, you’re nice, but you’re too young for me and I’m not interested-”
“Come on babe, age is just a numb-”
“She said she wasn’t interested”
- your has had widened impossibly further when Stiles had pried the boy off of you
“go screw your actual girlfriend Stilinski” was all the boy said
- but thankfully he had left after that
- you’d exchanged a glance with Stiles, and he’d asked quietly if you were alright. You nodded, thanked him, then excused yourself to find Lydia
- you told Lydia everything that happened in the last twenty minutes
- the entire pack spent the night at the lake house, even Liam did, spending most of the time talking with Scott about what being a werewolf meant
- the same blonde boy, Garret, tried to kill you a week later, to which you’d hit him over the head a few times with a bat before sprinting through the almost empty school, finding Scott, who told you the other girl, Violet had tried to kill him for being a werewolf
“I’m on the deadpool”
- the realization meant you weren’t as human as you thought. you’d said this at the pack meeting, and for some reason, your eyes were locked with Stiles’. before Malia pulled his attention back to her
- so you went from researching with Stiles, to researching with Lydia
- you found out that you were a witch. not the broomstick kind, but the kind with telekinesis. You figured that the bite triggered it in you, but never really proved that theory
- so you did some training with Liam, both of you learning about your powers together since he was still trying to get the hang of the werewolf thing
- but you still missed Stiles miserably, and Lydia was the one who seemed to notice the most
“y/n i love you, but you’re miserable. All the time”
- and she was right
- so one night, on a total whim at 10 pm, you drove yourself over the Stilinski house hold to talk to Stiles. Maybe tell him your true feelings, or just talk, because he had to notice the change in your relationship, right?
- but fate was against you that night. your car got a flat tire, which lead to Kate kidnapping you and dragging your sorry lover ass to Mexico
- Stiles lost his freaking mind
- when the pack (+ a shady ass Peter) came to get you, Scott was long turned into a berserker
- and when he broke free from the curse, Peter revealed his true intentions, and knocked you out with one blow
- you woke up to a lot of movement, and barely opened your eyes to see Stiles carrying you, yelling that you were going to be okay over and over again
- you just smiled a little bit, and leaned into him as he brought you to the jeep
- he let you sit in the passenger’s seat on the ride home
- Lydia hugged you tight, and screamed at you for having a death wish
- you her Malia and Kira had a sleepover, where you might have had some drinks and maybe proclaimed your love for Stiles
- but Malia was actually cool with it
- you forgot all about it the next day
- that summer, all of you went to San Diego together, and promised each other to make it a tradition
- senior year was gonna be bad, and it was all Stiles would talk about.
“I mean Theo? he seemed really shady don’t you think y/n? Don’t you think?”
“no, I think you mean to say he seemed dreamy”
- you didn’t know how much more shady that made Theo seem to Stiles
- you opened up with him more though. your friendship was still mending back together, but at least he no longer ignored you
- Theo made his advances on you, and when he asked oyu out, you’d happily said yes
- when you told Stiles, he made a face
“what? I thought it was sweet”
“well I think he has other plans. why else would he ask you out?”
- Stiles immediately realized his mistake
“wow Stiles. so what reason would a guy ask me out if he wasn’t trying to use me?”
- there were tears in your eyes as you stormed out of the house, ignoring Stiles as he yelled after you
- you went on your date with Theo, and he was a real gentleman
- you made big deals about kissing in front of Stiles
“he reeks of jealousy”
“that’s not jealousy Theo, that’s just anger. and that’s what we’re going for”
- after two weeks of this, you were trapped in your room on a school night, reading up on chimeras when there was a knock on your front door. you didn’t expect Stiles to be standing there
“we need to talk”
“if this is about Theo, then go home Stiles because-”
“I don’t care about Theo, I did something bad y/n”
- you’d quickly ushered him in, and upstairs to your room
- he began to cry, and you rubbed his back comfortingly, throwing all your past conflicts out the window, just wanting the boy whom your heart ached for to feel safe here
- you weren’t expecting him t tell you that he’d killed Donovan, but you sure weren’t mad at him like you thought he’d be
“you don’t hate me?”
“no” you answered softly
- you had a movie night together, and for a few hours, it seemed great, pocorn fights, for a whole Star Wars film you’d even slept on his shoulder
- you were woken up by Stiles getting up, and cleaning the area
“you can stay the night if you want, my parents aren’t home”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Malia’s probably already waiting for me at home, and I don’t think your boyfriend would like me staying over night with you”
- surprisingly, his voice wasn’t dripping with sarcasm, or bitterness, but with reget, and a sad undertone. you’d nodded, and followed him to the door as he put on his shoes and jacket
- you told him to get home safe, and he pulled you in for a hug that you hadn’t had in so long that just… replenished your well being
- Theo was a lying, bitchy, manipulative, jerk
- Lydia was admitted into Eichen
- Liam hated Scott
- Kira was with skin-walkers
- Stiles broke up with Malia
- and you were broken
“you were right you were right” you cried to Stiles on his doorstep in the pouring rain. “I should’ve listened you’re always right”
“Shh..shh come inside”
- he wrapped you up in blankets and towels until your body stopped shaking, and you broke down to him, just like you had both done before. You told him how you missed Lydia and Kira, how Malia wasn’t talking to you (to which he said ditto) and how Scott steered clear of everybody
- you fell asleep in his arms
- it was difficult, but the two of you had managed to cinch the pack back together, enough to kidnap Kira, and plan to save Lydia
- Theo’s pack seemed to have plans for her too, and you ended up getting held hostage by Theo in Eichen
- Scott and Stiles found you, his claws to your throat
- and you’d never seen Stiles so furious
- Scott ended up kicking ass, and you were thrown into Stiles’ arms
- YOU SAVED LYDIA!!!
- the pack barely did it but they escaped, and all went to Deaton’s where the emissary and Scott Kira and Malia stayed in the operation room to help Lydia
- you went to sit outside on the curb of the vet, needing frfesh air to clear your mind
- Stiles followed you and sat beside you
“I was really freaked out tonight… when..uh.. when Theo had you”
“Trust me, I was to” You managed a soft laugh, and glanced over at him. His eyes were stuck down on his shoes.
“I didn’t like the thought of… of you being gone… or something” Stiles added in a weak voice. Again, you smiled a little bit at him.
“I’m not going anywhere Stilinski, you’ve got nothing to worry about” You put your hands into the pockets of the hoodie (the red one you’d stolen from Stiles earlier that night)
“yeah but… but what if something did”
“Stiles” You turned to him. “I’m fine, really, I don’t have a single cut, I’m okay, you don’t have to worry so much-”
- Stiles Stilinski had cut you off, leaning forward, cupping your cheeks, and kissing you for the very first time. It was a long, warm, and very passionate kiss
“y/n, I do have to worry… I-I love you-”
- you cut him off, holding his own face in your hands, leaning forward, and kissing him for the very second time in a needy, emotions displayed kiss
“I love you too Stiles”
- you had a few happy tears in your eyes as you two kissed a few more times, only slightly aware of the pack watching you through the windows of the building
- you pretended not to notice Kira giving Scott thirty bucks
- Stiles drove everyone home, dropping you off last and trailing you to your doorstep
- he promised you that when all the Dread Doctor business was over, that he’d take you on a real date, to which you nodded, and kissed him quickly on the tips of your toes, before saying goodnight and heading inside for the night
- you high fived Stiles when Theo was dragged to the pits of hell, and that very night, went out on your first date
- it was a picnic at the overlook in the Beacon Hills Preserve, and it was beautiful.
- lots of kisses
- a really lot
- his hand was wrapped around yours as he drove you home, and as always, he stood with you at your door
“I’m not usually one for taking boys home after a first date, but my parents aren’t home and I don’t wanna wait anymore”
- the infamous Stilinski smirk as you were pressed against the door in a matter of seconds, and familiar warm lips sealed yours
- the sex was nothing less of hot
- neck kisses, you weren’t surprised Stiles loved hickeys
- he let you set the pace, and asked you for consent five too many times
- the look on his face was priceless when you snapped on the sixth time, and you’d told him to shut up and fuck your brains out
- (but hey, he did just that)
- and after you fell asleep together, him on his back and your front pressed into his side, your head on his bare chest and falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat in your ear
- lazy morning sex
- then shower sex
- then he made you breakfast, and you giggled half way through eating it
“oh nothing, I’m just surprised you haven’t thrown me onto the table yet”
“well I was waiting for you to finish eating”
- he wasn’t lying. *clears throat and sputters*
- you applied for a lot of colleges together. but here and there you’d come across one that seemed good for you, but would be far from Stiles. You applied, on the off chance you even had the ability to get in, but didn’t tell him about the ones in New York, or Tennessee.
- you told Lydia, because you couldn’t just keep it to yourself. There was a certain hype that came with college applications. Lydia hated keeping secrets nowadays, but promised not to tell. You never questioned her loyalty
- but one day you were telling her and Malia about a university in Maine called Colby. How great it seemed, but how you had other options that would keep you and the pack closer to Beacon Hills. You may have gotten a little vocal about the situation.
“You want to go to school in Maine?” you’d whirled around so fast upon the voice of your boyfriend. Lydia and Malia ran off as soon as you were looking away.
“But you applied there?” Stiles asked, his voice a prime example of broken.
“Yes- but I didn’t- it was more of a wonder really” You felt guilty immediately. “Stiles I didn’t want to.. I wasn’t- it was just-” You stopped trying to talk to take a deep breath.
“Do… do you still want the vision?” He asked, stepping closer. Your hands wrapped around his forearms.
“Of course I do Stiles, I want that with you” You said. “I mean it, I want that” He nodded, eyes flickering to the ground with uncertainty. “Stiles I love you, and the idea of going to college with you… maybe rent an apartment or something, really starting our.. our future? You held onto him tighter, and he looked at you. “That excites me and frightens me at the same time okay?” He nodded.
- dramatic kisses
- all the time.
- sometimes in lunch after a particularly difficult day in class, you’d wrap both arms around one of Stiles’, and lay your head on his shoulder in a half nap.
- but other days he’d have an arm around your waist, or your hands would be intertwined on one of your legs, or on the table.
- pushing him to take his class picture
“y/n, I already took it”
“Uhm, no you didn’t Stiles. There’s no photo here”
- Stiles argued with you for a bit bout, until you ended up dragging him to get his picture taken, again.
- Malia and you became really close friends, like connected at the hip kind of close. It surprised everyone, but it made you happy. Friends were important to keep close in this town
- Stiles called you later that night.
“Baby what’s wrong it’s one am?” You’d mumbled upone answering.
“I-I saw- I saw them” His shaky voice replied.
“Saw who Stiles?” You asked, sitting up in bed now.
“The ghost riders”
- you went to his house to spend the night, and talked for a long time about what it all meant. You fell asleep crying in his arms, and him cooing and hushing you while running his fingers through your hair.
- the next day at school you’d clung to him like crazy
- he was taken that night, you’d been sitting in the jeep with him, holding onto him so tightly you were sure it would be impossible for anyone to get him. He’d repeatedly told you he loved you, anything he could.
“y/n please try-”
“I couldn’t ever forget you Stiles” You said, crying hard as tears blurred your vision. “I love you, I love you so much you’ll never know. I want everything with you, I still do, I want us to go to college together, Stiles I wasnt to spend the rest of my life with you” You sobbed, and he held you tight, and leaving bruising kiss on your lips.
“I want that too y/n, I want that too” Your arms wound around his neck, holding him closer as his head was buried into your neck.
- you still cried in the jeep even after he was pried away from you, and dragged out through the door.
hehehehe this is sooo long I’ve had this in my drafts for months.
anywho here’s somethin a lil extra to just top off my excitement for being back on tumblr again
do u ever wish you could watch one of dan and phil’s old skype calls from before they met? like i just want to know what they talked about and what they did for 5 hours
thanks to phil lester the living legend who took screenshots of their old skype calls all the time cuz they were young n gross n cute n in love n he wanted to cherish those moments forever.. we know some of their skype shenanigans included but were not limited to:
deep convos with dans childhood doggo
more deep convos with dans bear probably when dan had to get up to go do something
guitar hero for hours probably (im sure dan used to play cheesy songs that still bring back memories to this day)
dan doing some weird shit and acting out skits most likely bc he was and still is a dramatic theater kid and phil was always super entertained by them
proof that dan has been the sun since 2009
and screenshots like this… among other.. similar screenshots….. just a few out of the many, many screenshots that will forever remain private… :)
They‘re not love letters in the strictest sense of the word. My letters are for when I don’t want to be in love anymore. They’re for good-bye. Because after I write my letter, I’m no longer consumed by my all-consuming love. I can eat my cereal and not wonder if he likes bananas over his Cheerios too; I can sing along to love songs and not be singing them to him. If love is a like a possession, maybe my letters are like my exorcisms.
one. Every morning leaves me with a mouthful of sorrow. I tell myself that’s because missing you is like an ache but that’s not all true: I miss you, I do, but more than that I miss myself when I was with you, I miss the girl lost in the wildflowers with her eyes open. Eventually the mornings fade into afternoons spent on the couch sifting through maps and ticket stubs and photos littered across the coffee table, a shrine to all the places we’ve been and never will again, but the weight on my tongue never lifts.
two. Sometimes I spend hours listening to your favorite songs to drown out the sound of the girl in the wildflowers calling my name, I think about how you were always full of dreams and ideas and ink-smudged maps with roads that led on and on until the end of forever, you were always so much, you were always more, and I think I was more when I was with you, too.
three. One year ago I buried two fallen angels beneath the wildflowers in the meadow behind our neighborhood, two children with fragile, brittle bones and decaying wings, the evening light paling our haloes and washing the youth right out of our skin. I was too busy crying to realize one of them was still alive, still worth saving.
four. Today I’m going to dig up the girl in the wildflowers and kiss her dirt-streaked cheeks and hold her hand until it becomes warm again. (I won’t look at your body, but the thought of it will be a ghost in my head anyway, like it always is.) She and I will go traveling to all the places marked on our map that you and I wanted to—I think you would have liked that. We’ll hold hands and run into the horizon until, just for a moment, the light breaks around our edges and we blur into one person again, and it will feel just like coming home.