and this has undoubtedly been done somewhere before

The Many Names of Benedict Cumberbatch
  • If he was a kleptomaniac, he’d be Benedict Cumbersnatch.
  • If he played baseball, he’d be Benedict Cumbercatch.
  • If he was good at clinging to things, he’d be Benedict Cumberlatch.
  • If he was colour coordinated, he’d be Benedict Cumbermatch.
  • If he was used for covering holes, he’d be Benedict Cumberpatch.
  • If he was capable of laying eggs, he’d be Benedict Cumberhatch.
  • If he tried to pronounce German words in an American accent, he’d be Benedict Cumbereichenbach.