and this gave me a lot of feels

I feel the need to apologize in advance for the piece that I’ll hopefully be finishing tonight.  My muse is basically high af and won’t settle the hell down, and I haven’t been able to focus on any of my WiPs.  I gave up because I’m in a lot of pain RN and trying to fight it has made me not able to finish ANYTHING, so I’m gonna get this out of my head, and then hopefully be able to focus on what I SHOULD be updating.

anonymous asked:

This is so annoying but sometimes I feel like Dan appreciates Phil more than Phil appreciates Dan but idk if that's because Dan wears his heart on his sleeve and Phil doesn't but it makes me nervous and this is negative I'm sorry I

I don’t really think that’s true. Phil just displays his appreciation by helping Dan with ideas and such. The heart on the sleeve thing could be true but even if Dan appreciated Phil a little more I mean Phil convinced Dan to make a YouTube and gave him a lot on confidence.

anonymous asked:

How is it, that the feeling of missing someone is always stronger than the feeling of loving that same person. You're miles away and right now the lump in my stomach feels heavier than all the butterflies ever did, and God, let me tell you, you gave me a lot of those. Please come home.

adreadfulidea  asked:

It's probably too obvious to ask about Shaw/Root so I'm going to ask about Reese/Zoe instead.

I love them and I ship them a lot! 

I honestly feel like its Zoe who actually wasn’t up for a relationship, and if she gave any indication that she was up for one, John would be all for it.  

I love how light and happy John is when Zoe’s around, he gets flirty and banter-y. I love that they have a casual relationship built on mutual respect and how much they like each other. It’s weird that that part ‘liking each other’ feels novel to me, but yeah that’s one of the main reasons I really like John and Zoe. 

anonymous asked:

1) ok im gonna vent to u alone at sea gave me a lot of the same feelings you got i got very nauseous during and after the episode for how well lapis was portrayed and how much I related to her since ggg ive beem abused for over half my life and im very young but i started getting comfort character feels frm her and it made me really happy but then i started looking @ my abusive exes blog and? he was like uwu tag jasper hate i know she did smth wrong but tag it hahaha and i found it pretty funny

2) that he find comfort in a character that abused a character i find comfort in it really really showed something but now im just angry and added both jasper and jaspis to my blacklist and im feeling better than ever

nervously laughs because yeah same feelings and i ended up having to add lapis to my synpaths list because watching that felt like watching myself it was just. a little too real,, it was too much in short terms. 

and lmao thats horrible? i hope you dont have to see much of either on your dash and i hope he does tbh,, have a good rest of your night and sleep well

2

Pansy reminded him of the children’s tales he stole from Dudley’s room as a child. She was like Snow White. Her hair was as black as a raven’s coat, her skin was as white as fresh snowfall, her lips were as red as his skin after mouthing off to Vernon too many times. 

He learned quickly she was not like Snow White, she was like no one he had ever met before. But then again, he had never met the real Snow White either. What was her true story? He never got to finish it, the Dursley’s never left him alone for long.

Pansy was not cold like snow. Her presence was infuriating. It made him feel warmth he didn’t know was possible. Passion would race through his bloodstream every time she spoke. Her words were not like velvet, they were like knives piercing his skin. But he figured, we all like the warmth of our own blood, right? It reminds us that we’re alive. 

Harry reminded her of the late Tom Riddle. Her parents always flaunted his photographs in her face, telling her that one day she would serve him like they once did. She memorized those photographs like it was her only lifeline. Harry had the same dark hair, the same look of determination in his eye, and the ability to talk to serpents. 

But as time went on, she realized they were in no way similar, even though horrific circumstances brought them together. Harry’s eyes were light, and they reminded her of her favorite jade pendant her mom bought her for her thirteenth birthday. His eyes sparkled the same too, but not in a way that made her skin crawl. 

Harry was also warm. He could light fires with his eyes, the kind that engulfed her body and soul. The type that made her want to burn alive. It was the type of heat she felt when her cheeks flushed, and the tingling sensation in her gut when she saw someone she loved. His passion cut through her like knives. But she figured, we all like the warmth of our own blood, right? It reminds us that we’re alive. 

IF CASTIEL HAD A FEMALE VESSEL HE WOULD’VE BEEN WITH DEAN BEFORE THEY WOULD HAVE DONE THE DIRTY THEY WOULD HAVE BECOME OFFICIAL THEY WOULD HAVE KISSED IN THE IMPALA AND BINGE WATCHED GAME OF THRONES AND OITNB IN BED THEY WOULD BE PORTRAYED AS SO IN LOVE CASTIEL GAVE UP A WHOLE ARMY FOR DEAN HE GAVE UP EVERYTHING HE ALWAYS CHOOSES HIM AND I’M NOT OKAY. !! WHAT IS SO WRONG WITH DEAN AND CAS TOGETHER DAMN IT

To the guy I will love next,

Please understand that you’re going to handle a girl who’s not in a perfect condition. You will meet me and maybe you think I am whole outside - but there’s actually gonna be a lot of repairs I need inside me.

I gave rightful love to people I thought would give back what I made them feel. I have been lied on, dumped, hurt and numerously cried over my pillow every night.
I want to remind you, that I may still be partly lost when you will have me. In fact, I don’t even know if I’m still lovable. I will be complicated sometimes. I will be hard on you. I know you will struggle on making me believe that you will not be like anybody else. And I’m already sorry for that, now.

I don’t need a superhero or even a knight in shining armor. Because of all these chaos I went through - I have already learned how to save myself.

Regardless on all these uncertainties, I promise to love you in every way, as long as I can. There’s nothing much I have to require from you. And I hope this will assure you to stay for a long time because no one has done that yet.

I am excited to finally meet you and feel as if I’ve never been in pain.
I am excited to be happy again without getting worried if am I still gonna wake up in the morning holding you. My tummy is ready to harbor butterflies as you tell me how much you love me and when you hug me everytime. I am excited to make you happy as well, be contented and make you feel loved more than anyone could. I am excited to listen to your heartbeat and listen to the rhythm of your breath or smell the scent you leave on my blanket. I am excited to watch my favorite cartoons with you, and eat my favorite ice cream flavor with you.
You will be the first person I tell how my day went, my rants and my opinions over things. You will be everything to me, as I am to you.

I will love you unconditionally regardless of the times I have told myself that I’m not going to love anyone else anymore

To you, who I will love next - you will be my last.

Love,
The girl you will love next

fic: something suspiciously close to hope

a clexa/stranger things au, bc i’m having a lot of feelings about eleven

When the social worker’s car pulls to a stop outside of a small blue house, Eleven’s heart picks up a little bit. 

She runs her hand over her hair, still short and bristly from the buzz cut her last foster father gave her when he wrongly thought she caught lice from someone at school. The hand-me-down dress she’s wearing is dingy and stiff, and no matter how much she tugs on it the tag scratches the back of her neck.

The social worker opens the car door and Eleven climbs out, hauling the backpack filled with her meager belongings along with her. They’re halfway up the front walkway when the front door opens and a blonde woman steps onto the front porch. She’s pretty and has a bright, nervous smile, but Eleven knows better than to get her hopes up. 

The walkie-talkie that she’s clutched in her hands since she left the group home is getting clammy in her grip, so she fiddles with it, expecting to be ignored while her new foster parent and the social worker go over paperwork and finances – that’s what they usually care about, how much they’ll get to clothe and feed her, how much they’ll ultimately get to keep for themselves. 

She wonders if Mike – her best friend back at the group home – is still holding the walkie-talkie’s twin, waiting for her to call, knowing full well the reception doesn’t reach this far.

But she’s pulled from her thoughts when the blonde woman ignores the social worker completely. Instead she sits back on her haunches until she’s eye-level with Eleven, and stretches out her hand. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Eleven,” she says. “I’m Clarke.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hey there! I'm having a really rough night atm and I actually cried over stupid shit, so could I request my favourite edgelord Reapsy and some HC/imagined for comforting stupid little ole me haha. I basically got blocked for doing nothing at all to the person, and earlier my mum scolded me for my opinions online. I actually struggle with a lot of issues and tonight's shit actually gave me insomnia. I'll shout you out tomorrow on my OW imagines blog as a thanks for the imagine/HC :")

;-; sweetie! No need to fear, I am here, I’m quite queer, Let’s get Reinhardt for some beer, and try to have a nice rest of year- yeah okay I’ll stop, but I’m here for you and I hope you’ll feel better soon!

Reaper:

- If Reaper finds you in a state of sadness, he’ll try to figure out who the hell did this to his lover. He’ll be standing there, like, doing the Sherlock Holmes thing, thinking really fast, while you’re just looking up at him, looking really miserable.

- About 2 minutes later, he’s like “Shit, should I do something?” and stop thinking so much about who he’s going to torture. He’d gruffly clear his throat and asked if everything was alright.

- Which is dumb, he realises 2 seconds later, because you’re clearly not.

- So, if no one is around, he’d softly huff, take off his mask and just pull you into a one armed hug, his other hand lightly carressing your jaw as he tugs your chin up to look at him. Reaper’s face holds a lopsided frown and he gives you a gentle kiss on the nose.

-Then he’ll plonk you down on a couch or a chair or something

- Go to the goddamn kitchen and make you some comfort food.

- He gets so generous, he allows you to rest your face on his lovely t h i c k thighs. They’re really soft.

-If you want, he’ll lovingly fuck you. Not make love, he’s to edgy for that. And rough. But it’ll be slower and he’ll be trailing kisses all over your face.

-And then he goes to find the sick fuck who made you sad and destroys them.

-If something else made you sad, like a movie, he promises to kill the director of the movie.

- No, Hot Topic, No

-He honestly tries so hard to make sure you’re alright, he makes you food, you cuddle, you get to watch a n y t h i n g you want with him without his complaints, slow sex, hell, he’ll let you do his nails (only in black of course) if it makes you happy!

Cross-Checking: Chapter 18

Thank you so much to @loving-mellark for this gorgeous banner that I am SO excited to be able to put up again. I miss my sexy hockey! Peeta.

@papofglencoe - girl, I probably couldn’t even find words to express how grateful I am for you. This chapter is here because you pushed me and gave me the strength to believe I could do it. Heart you. <3

@gobletgirl and @duckpotatodandelion - you both gave me strength to keep pushing. Thanks for being amazing. I’m so grateful for you.

Thank you all so much for hanging with me while I figured this one out. You’ll see that it wasn’t an easy chapter by far, and much beer was consumed while writing as well as tissues used. I appreciate your continued support and love more than I could ever describe.

Now for Peeta….

My hand grips the cold beer bottle, the damp moisture dampening my palm. I look out across the ocean as the last moments of the day are erased, counting the moments in between each wave. Buns is curled up at my feet, not willing to leave my side, as if she can sense the turmoil raging inside of me. On the step next to me lies the box. Not just any box, but the one holding all the memories of my daughter.

Our daughter.

I raise the bottle to my lips and take a long drag. The alcohol has done nothing to calm the pain in my heart. I decided to sit on the steps of my deck and open this box, yet I’ve been here for an hour and have yet to crack open the top. I’m quickly running out of daylight. I’m terrified of the pain that lies within. But will I ever, truly be ready for this?

I place the beer on the deck with a loud slam. It startles Buns, and she looks up at me with her deep, brown eyes. “I’m sorry girl,” I whisper to her as I reach down, patting her head. Along with the bone-crushing sadness there is an undercurrent of anger. Directed at Katniss, at the universe, at everything. My fingers continue to run through Bun’s soft hair as I muster the courage to pull back the top of that box.Finally, I remove my hand from Buns and pull the box onto my lap. Taking a deep breath, I steady myself and remove the lid, placing it gently next to me.

Read More: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6488305/chapters/17127445

anonymous asked:

I dont understand how to reconcile the Louis we saw in 2015 fighting against the narrative, with the Louis we see now, crowned by that slavish performance on AGT. Why did he have the power and will then to fight back and lay out lines he wouldn't cross, but now he looks like Simons puppet? Where are his legendary 'new team' smarter and more powerful than Simon Cowell? This isn't getting at you btw Angela, your belief that the Azoff had the band gave me hope. But with Louis, it feels Simons won.

We don’t know what Simon had over him to be able to get his way to that extent–he couldn’t get Louis long-term on his flagship show, but a one-time appearance on another show, sure.

If this is the sort of thing that Louis is resorting to in order to communicate his real feelings, that tells you that he himself doesn’t have a lot of power in the situation. Which is what we had been dealing with for years–he used signs like the dagger to communicate his feelings, but he did not have the power of words. I was actually a bit :/ at this precisely because it was a huge sign that we were back to the kind of fighting that you were looking for. A fight that says Louis did not get his way.

Simon won a one-time appearance and that’s it, anon. I’m sure he wants you to extrapolate from there to infinity, because he wants to LOOK like he won.

Someone has to say it

You know what? I fucking commend Eliza big time. She’s brave as fuck. Not many high profile people are as open and supportive of the LGBTQ community. She knows what happened with Lexa hurt a lot of people. I was one of them. It was during a time when I was emotionally unstable and already severely depressed. It almost tipped me over the edge, I’ll admit.

Lexa was a huge thing for me. She was the first gay female character I’d seen with such power and strength. It gave me someone to identify with. Someone who empowered me. I remember the feeling in my gut when I watched her get shot. It honestly felt like I took a bullet, too. I shouldn’t have been so shocked now that I think about it, since killing off LGBTQ characters seems to have become a trendy trope. 

 Killing her off said so much more than the writers even bothered to think about. It drilled in the message that once again the LGBTQ are expendable and weak. After a while, that’s how it starts to feel. As if it’s not hard enough growing up constantly fearing judgement and hatred on the basis of sexuality. 

 I remember the day it happened so clearly. I remember seeing the posts on Twitter and tumblr… People distraught, heartbroken, angry, helpless. It was a mess. This wasn’t just another forgettable hetero couple. Clexa was hope for a generation of people tired of fear, tired of hiding, tired of being judged, tired of hatred. 

 So yeah, fucking props to Eliza for standing up for something that meant a shit load to a lot of people. She could’ve chosen to be silent, she could’ve chosen to play it safe. But instead she chose to be compassionate. She understands the severity of what’s happened. She knows it was unfair. It means a lot to at least have recognition for what we were put through. 

 For once, a f/f couple are getting the treatment that every single hetero couple have ever gotten. Except for us, it’s so much more than something to thirst over. Eliza could see the pain and outrage Lexa’s death caused and instead of becoming impartial and politically correct, she chose to call out the bullshit. She gave us hope again. 

 So yeah, maybe for once the typical m/f couple didn’t get their happy ending. Maybe for once you could fuck off with all this hetero entitlement bullshit. And maybe for once, realise that there’s more important things to consider other than your boring ass hetero ship.