I don’t want to think about you like I do,
But I do.
I don’t want to want you like I do,
But I do.
I don’t want to miss you,
And I don’t want to need you,
But I do and I don’t know what to do.
I can’t get rid of you.
These flames are starting to burn,
Fueled by all your lies,
And I can’t turn away.
You’re there even when I close my eyes.
I just finished my rewatch of Eureka seveN after few years since last time. And I am a crying mess right now.
I remembered what I forgot through all those years. I was reblogging E7 related stuff on this blog for a long time now, but I didn’t feel anything. I was just mindlessly doing it out of habit.
But now I remember. How I felt as a 12 year old boy, who stumbled upon this show by pure coincidence. Ever since then I was mesmerised by it. I couldn’t wait till next episode. Nine pm, everyday. I remember the time when episode 50 aired.
How sad it was to see that my favorite show, my favorite characters, my favorite world was gone. It felt like leaving something behind. Something really important to me.
Back then I thought that if Renton’s 14, then I still have 2 years to become as cool as him. This memory is so vivid it feels like it was yesterday. When I was a child, I didn’t know where lies the limit of human imagination. Eureka seveN felt real to me. I wasn’t looking at this show as a cartoon made by people. For me it was a real world. It was an experience. A journey.
This anime taught me a lot of things, With every year I gained, I was learning different things from it. I’m still amazed that even after 8 years, I can see new things in this show. New things I can learn from. This show taught me about family. About friendship. About love. That not everything in life works out. That to get something, to make something real, I can’t wait for it to happen. I have to do it myself.
About 4 years ago I think I forgot why I even liked this show. I thought I remembered it well. Well, I was wrong. Without realizing it, I forgot why I am so attached to it. But while I forgot a lot of things, it let me feel like I was watching it for the first time. I felt like a kid again. It felt like definitive end for my childhood, even though I’m 20 years old already.
But I remember it now…
I finally remember why I fell in love with Eureka seveN in the first place.