and this bit really made me laugh

schmergo  asked:

My favorite Shakespearean quote is "I have no brother, I am like no brother, And this word 'love', which greybeards call divine, Be resident in men like one another, And not in me. I am myself alone." (Hence why I was jazzed that part of that monologue was the final Jeopardy question tonight.) Or, from Much Ado About Nothing, when Claudio just says "That."

Okay that last one made me laugh really hard

   If your blog were a Shakespeare character it would be: Feste

   If your blog were a Shakespeare pun/dick joke it would be: villain I have done thy mother


    Aesthetic: | Are you Marlowe? | A Bit Bardy | Absolutely Shakespearean

    Following?: | no sorry! | I am now | already was! |

youtube

Seth Meyers is amazing and he really made me laugh and feel a bit better.

Are You Okay? - Tom Holland x (f)Reader

Originally posted by theculturatis

Words: 1844
Pairing: Tom(meh) Holland x (f)Reader
Featuring: some other cool people idrk
Warnings: swearing, FLUFFFFFF
Requested: technically no but jadyn begged me to do
Authors Note: ok so this is my first cast member x reader so idrk how this went but im hoping it turned out okay xD there is so much fluff it isnt even funny. Basically in this the reader is the leading female in Spiderman Homecoming and lol i made up some stuff about the movie that i have no idea if it will actually happen XDDD

Masterlist. Request List.

Part Two


“So, is there any off-screen romance?” The interviewer raised her eyebrows with a smile on her face.

You laughed a bit, but your co-star answered for you. “No, no, we’re just friends.” Tom smiled.

The interviewer smiled. “The Tumblr fandom really seems to like the idea of the two of you together,” She smiled.

“Trust me; I’ve seen it,” You chuckled.

“Me too, she’s on Tumblr- a lot.” Tom smiled, and you nudged his side, causing both of you to laugh even more.

The interviewer smiled and continued with the interview. Lately, for the press tour, you and Tom have done a lot of interviews together. Tom being the star, and you being the leading female for the new Spider-Man movie, it was obvious why you two did so many interviews together.

And no matter how many times you and Tom were asked about romance, it was always that you were friends. And it wasn’t a lie; you two didn’t really think about dating. It was your job as actors to be able to play the part like you were dating, but in reality, you actually weren’t.

Keep reading

Profile Improvement

Hey sugars, a lovely lady here asked me if I could help her with her profile. It’s the only one I’m going to do though, I would if I could but it takes some time. I made sure to keep her points but just refine it a bit. Her’s was really well done, I just did some fixes. :)

I made sure to play to her strengths and even highlight her milk-chocolate goodness (tropical, exotic..). I hope this helps some.


BEFORE:

A queen who wants to be treated properly by a king.I would describe myself as a slender, curvy, ambitious, soft-hearted woman. *I emit a soft glow.* I love moonlight, good food, and things that sparkle. I love to laugh, so if you have a sense of humour we will get along well! I’ve been told my pictures don’t do me justice. You will have to let me know if that is true when we meet.My life goal is to be a positive force for change in the world. I am ambitious and I need to be, I’ve got a world to change.I can’t wait to meet my next benefactor.

DESIRED ARRANGEMENT
I am seeking a gentleman. Someone honest, direct, and kind. I’d like to meet someone who is wise and generous and willing to share some of that wisdom with me. I want someone who’s company I can enjoy, who simply has the means and desire to support me, spoil me, and guide me. I’m not looking to play games. Treat me respectfully and I will do the same for you.We are both here for a reason. You want companionship and to help someone, I want financial support and great memories. This isn’t all about money for me, but please do not insult me by pretending it isn’t part of the arrangement.If you are looking for intimacy before an arrangement, you are on the wrong website. I do not get intimate with anyone until I am certain they will keep me comfortable both financially and physically.If you can exceed my expectations I will certainly exceed yours. 


AFTER:
“Let me bring light, back into your life

I am a slender but curvaceous, ambitious,and soft-hearted lady with a tropical, exotic flair. Moonlight, delicious food and shiny things bring out the best in me. I am a comic, and I know laughter is the best medicine, so if you have a great sense of humor, I’m certain we’ll get along just fine–don’t sigh too loudly at my corny jokes. Something many can attest to, is the radiance and glow that often follow me, my pictures do not do me justice. I’m sure you’ll tell me the same as we white-water raft, climb Mount Everest, or have a nice bite to eat on our first date.I am a force to be reckoned with, but emit only positivity–something I’d love to see in the world. I am ambitious and I need to be- I’ve got a world to change.I can’t wait to meet my next benefactor.”

DESIRED ARRANGEMENT
“I am seeking a gentleman. Someone honest, direct, and kind. I’d like to meet someone who is wise, generous and willing to share his insight. Someone who’s company I can enjoy, who simply has the means and desire to support me,dote on, and guide me.Treat me respectfully and I will do the same for you.“  

 *** I left out the final part of her write up, I told her to add it but to finish it lightheartedly. No negative tones, remember.


Best wishes sugars,
-Ruby

My baby shot me down

I was five and he was six

We rode on horses made of sticks



Seasons came and changed the time

Now he wears black



And I wear white



He’s gone, I don’t know why



He would always laugh and say:



“Remember when we used to play?”


Bang bang, he shot me down



Bang bang, I hit the ground



Bang bang, that awful sound



Bang bang…


My baby shot me down

youtube

Can we talk about this for a moment? Because this’s the best fan video I’ve seen. It was created as a tribute for early series of TG when they were some little boys who made modest car show for BBC2. But for me it’s a tribute for all series and episodes. A tribute for 13 years of smiling, laughing and, of course, crashing and catching fire.
This show will be known for many many years after because it really is one of the best program in the world.

Unpopular opinion - Sherlock TFP Spoilers

Unpopular opinion… Especially after looking at the posts on this site. But I actually really enjoyed this episode. Yeah, okay, completely off the wall, and some parts were a bit iffy.

I loved the flashback with Moriarty and the reveal that Redbeard was actually his best friend. Okay they didn’t have to do what they did to molly hooper but for God sake people, they are trying to show how fucked up this woman is. After all, she spent over 30 years in (mostly) solitary confinement in a prison, with no contact with her family (other than Mycroft). I thought they wrote her exceptional well.

Mrs Hudson made me laugh as always.

The way Mycroft tried to make sherlock kill him so that he’d still have John, his best friend, like fuck! That really got me! In this one episode they have managed to show more emotion in both Holmes brothers than they did in 3 seasons. That to me is incredible and very well placed.

I love the video with Mary at the end with the montage of family. That is what this episode was really about. It’s what all three episodes have been about, I feel.

All in all, I don’t understand all the shit that people are giving it. I bloody loved it.

Chris&Eva #2(Skam)

“You couldn’t have picked anyone else?”

“Seriously Chris, why am I even here?” Eva says and gives out an annoyed sigh. “You couldn’t have picked anyone else? I mean, I’m not really an expert in men tuxedos.”

“But you are a girl. And girls love guys in tuxedos. You don’t have to be an expert to tell me, which tuxedo I look the best in. You just have to be yourself, darling.” He says and gives her one of his classic I-know-I-am-handsome-don’t-deny-it smiles.

Eva decided that his ego deserved a little setback and gave let out a dismissive laugh.

“Honestly, Chris. That tuxedo would have to be made out of pure gold to make you look even the slightest bit handsome. Don’t flatter yourself.”  She said and immediately regretted  the last sentence. There was a thin line between teasing and offending someone,and she might have done just that had it not have been Chris Schistad she was talking to. Chris ,who was the  most self-sufficient person she knew. (Besides Sana, of course. )

Chris just gave out a soft chuckle and shook his head. Then he turned away from the mirror he had been standing in front of and turned to face her. And in this second she couldn’t been more glad that he had asked her to come with him to pick out a tuxedo. He looked…wow. One of the most annoying and at the same things kind of fascinating things about Chris was his ability to look like he just stepped out of a Men’s fashion catalogue. It wasn’t a secret that Chris was one of the most handsome guys to ever go to Nissen, but it wasn’t just his too-handsome -for-his-own-good face, but also it was also his ability look amazing wearing just a plain dark gray V-neck, navy blue slim fit jeans and pair of  Converse. He had confidence oozing out of him and, honestly, it was both intimidating and hot at the same time.

“I can’t figure out if your staring is because I look good and you are contemplating  if it’s a good idea to take me into dressing room to hook up, which I think it  is , or you are imagining what’s underneath the tuxedo.” He says and raises an eyebrow. “I can show you ,of course ,because I am a very generous guy, but I think we should go back to my place for that.”

Thank God, Eva wasn’t prone to blushing because if she was there wouldn’t be shade red enough to match her flaming cheeks. Eva gathered all of her remaining dignity, flipped a strand of hair over her shoulder and leaned back into the chair.

“Wow, Chris. I feel like we are going to be here for  a while.” She says in fake sadness. ”When did you let yourself go?”

 “Your attempts to cover your attraction to me with mockery are hilarious.” Chris says with an impish grin on his face. “Don’t worry, babe. It’s mutual.” Chris says and gives her one of his cheeky winks. Did he get taught to do it in some Penetrator class, or something?

“And here I was thinking that you only needed me for my  impeccable taste in tuxedos. If you wanted to confess your  crush for me, you should have just said so. There was no need to drag me out tuxedo shopping.”  Eva says with a laugh, whilst gathering her belongings. It has been fun hanging out with Chris. It always was, but their conversations were starting to steer into direction she wasn’t ready for them to steer into. That’s when she knew she needed to flee.

“Hey, where are you going?” He asks turning around to face her. In his eyes she can read the question he really wants to ask. Instead he says “We haven’t even picked out anything.”

“Well, I am sure any girl here would gladly take my spot as your fashion consultant. Few guys as well. But I have places to go, things to do and people to see. Bye, Chris.” She says the last part almost halfway through the door.

“Bye, pretty girl.” She hears him call behind, his voice lacking his usual buoyancy. It almost sounded disappointed. But that would imply that Chris cared for Eva being there, which he didn’t. Chris didn’t seem to care for many people other than his family and William. And he certainly had no reason to care about Eva. And she didn’t have any reason to care about him.

 Right?

______________________________________________________________

Hello to everyone who is reading this right now! Thank you for reading and liking my previous work. It honestly means a lot to me. And to the lovely person who commented on it - your feedback honestly inspired me to write this. It really does take one good comment to make someones day. Yours really made mine.

Hope you will like this one as well! And if you want to request that I write something specific, don’t be shy to ask!

- B

Ups and Downs


Requested by a very nice Anon.  I’ve never met a Bipolar person so I’m really sorry if I don’t write it well. Please forgive me.

This is part is written from Jerome’s POV


At first I didn’t think much of it, we were all very different and unique. Of course being admitted to an insane asylum will automatically put you in that category, but we were more unique than the others. My Sweet cheeks though, she was something else entirely, I fell in love with her the moment I made her laugh. Oh that beautiful laugh, how I miss it. 
“Jerome, is your Pet still in your bedroom?”
I bit my tongue about that pet comment and looked over at Theo before licking my lips and speaking
“Yes she is and I’m starting to worry, she hasn’t eaten anything and every time I try she just pushes me away and pulls the covers over her head after shouting at me to leave her alone”
I take a breath before continuing
“What if she’s starting to become afraid of me…I couldn’t handle that, she’s the only one I care about” I look towards Theo, his eyes showing mixed emotions, it was then that I realised how soft I sounded. I smirked at a thought and let out a chuckle, “I know what to do to get her out of bed~” before making my way out of the dining room and towards our shared room.


Switching to your POV

I stared at the lamp on the side of the table, a feeling of nothingness drowning me as I laid on the soft mattress. I couldn’t even get up, I’m not sure If I even wanted to. I rubbed my face tiredly before hugging the covers closer to me. A knock on the door followed by Jerome’s voice was the only thing I could hear. I felt so sluggish and slow in the head, and the thought go him trying to get me out of bed displeased me.
“Afternoon Sunshine~” Jerome sang as he practically skipped to my side. I stayed silent begging for him to go away.
“Come on sleepy head we’ve got places to go” I just wanted him to go away, I wanted these feelings to go away, I wanted to go away.
“Leave me alone” I said tiredly and groggily
“Come on Sweet cheeks, I miss you. You’re just so sad and flat and I just want you to be happy” he kissed my forehead before stroking my hair. I pulled away from him and just curled up tighter.
“Come on gorgeous, please tell me whats wrong” You’d leave me
“Go away” I said softly
“Not until you tell me whats wrong” I felt the bed dip and his body heat at my backside. I never wanted him to see me like this, he’s going to leave me I know it.
“Sweet cheeks…Please”
I snapped and lashed out at him 
“FOR GOD SAKE JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE”
I felt his body leave the bed and heard footsteps approaching the door. 
“Everything alright in there kiddos?” I heard Barbra call out. “No, its not” Jerome whispered quietly before ripping open the door and storming out.

Jerome didn’t sleep in the same bed as me that night, heck I wouldn’t blame him, he’s probably going to leave me anyway right. I mean nothing to this world or to him, I’m meaningless and a burden.


It was probably six or seven days later, I lost track of time in my soft bed. Without a warning Jerome barged into the room and threw himself onto the bed, just barely missing me. His puffy red eyes and dark circles told me that he hadn’t slept and was crying only a few minutes ago. “Please tell me you’re not leaving me” I was shocked.
“Me leave you?! I thought you were going to leave me! And its all because of my stupid, stupid genetics” I started crying before throwing my pillow at the wall. “What’s wrong with your genetics?” Jerome asked, completely unfazed.
“My mother had this disorder.. And it was passed down to me” Jerome sighed before hugging me, “Nothing will make me leave you, not even if you tried to kill me” I laughed before being pulled into a hug. “What ever it is, we can go and rob a chemist, I’ll take care of you” I looked up at him with a teary eyed smile “Even if its Bipolar?” He grinned and hugged me tighter “No matter what, I’ll love you”.

((This was probably so terrible I’m so sorry))

Better This Way (Part 3/3)

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Fluff/Smut 

Words: 1,200

“Ya take it easy, for the rest of the day.” Daryl told you pulling the blankets up to your shoulders. You weren’t paying attention to what he was saying, so you just smiled because he was being so affectionate. You really liked this side of Daryl and it made you excited to think that he was doing this just for you. “Are ya listenin’ to me woman?” he asked you noticing you were just smiling widely at him. “Mhmm.” you said, chuckling a bit. “Ya better not move, or I’ll tie you to the bed.” he threatened making your eyes widen. He instantly realized what he said and a blush crept over his face. Seeing him so awkward made you laugh.

****

A week or so past and you were finally starting to feel better. The entire time Daryl was by your side, fussing over you and you loved every second of it. At the moment he was helping you take off your bandage for the last time. “It’s so ugly.” you mumbled, looking at your scar. “Don’t say tha’, it’s a part of ya now.” he said placing soft kisses around it. “It’s beautiful.” he said in between kisses.  He kissed all the way up your neck and you cupped his face and brought his lips to yours. You kissed him passionately with everything you had, your tongues slowly swirled around each others, making the both of you groan in pleasure.

Daryl pulled back and you made a disappointed sound, making him chuckle. “We should get downstairs.” Daryl stated, putting his forehead against yours. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” you replied, rather annoyed that you were being interrupted once again. 

Everyone was waiting for you and Daryl to arrive. As soon as you came down the stairs Maggie gave you a knowing look and you winked at her, making her chuckle. For about an hour Rick was discussing tactics for taking on the governor, just incase he was going to make another appearance. “Alright, so everybody understands their job?” Rick asked looking around the room, and we all nodded. “Ok then.” he said and went to go comfort a crying Judith.

****

It was late at night now and Daryl was laying next to you on the small cot that barely fit one of you. You didn’t mind though because you were wrapped around him like a vine. You watched him as he read a book that he had found in the prison library. “No pictures in this one either?” you asked making him chuckle a bit, at your reference back to the farm. Suddenly a wave of arousal washed over you, feeling him move like that beneath you. Noticing your position even more than before.

You rubbed your hand over his chest and kissed his cheek. You felt him tense up beneath you, but you decided to take it a little further and bit his earlobe. “I want you Daryl.” you whispered into his ear, almost making him drop the book in his hands. You took the book from him and put it on the floor. You moved yourself so you were now on top of him and started to kiss him. Daryl’s hands were placed firmly on your waist, feeling his rough hands on your skin drove you insane. You broke contact for a moment and pulled your shirt over your head and carelessly tossed it next to you. Daryl leaned forward and with a skilled hand unclasped your bra, hurriedly throwing it behind him, making you laugh. His eyes were glued to you as his lips met yours once more. You slowly began to unbutton his shirt and slid it off his broad shoulders enjoying the view.

Daryl pulled you against him, loving the skin to skin contact. He cupped your breast with one of his hands, kneading the soft flesh, while his mouth began to suck on the other one. “Fuck, Daryl.” you breathed, running your hands through his hair and he hummed against you. He turned you over so he was now on top and you watched him as he unbuttoned your jeans and pulled them, along with your panties, in one try. There you were, completely naked in front of him and you began to feel self conscious. However, that feeling fleeted when he began to kiss you again. You felt him slide a finger up and down your folds and you pressed your head harder against the pillow. “Goddamn girl, wet already?” Daryl asked, while nipping at your neck. “Only for you baby.” you answered, closing your eyes.

You watched him with eyes full of lust as he stood at the end of the bed taking his pants and boxers off. His cock sprang free and you bit your lip with anticipation. He laid on top of you and started kissing you harshly. You felt him grind against you for some friction and you arched your back towards him in response. Needing more of him, you reached over to your nightstand and pulled out a familiar square packet. He took it from you, ripped it open with his teeth and rolled it on promptly. “Ya sure yer feeling up to this?” he asked concerned, not forgetting your shoulder. You eagerly nodded your head, which made him smirk. He lined himself up with your entrance before slowly sinking into you, giving you time to adjust to his size. “Holy shit.” you moaned rubbing your hands down his arms.

He started to thrust faster and after a while you were able to match his rhythm. Your bodies moved perfectly together, it was something that you’ve never experienced before and you were sure Daryl was the only one that could ever make you feel this way.

Daryl noticed you were getting close and he definitely wasn’t going to last long now. “Ya like that? Huh baby?” he asked, when he brought his hand in between your bodies and hastily rubbed your clit.  “Mmm yes! Please don’t stop.” you mewled, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I’m gonna.. I’m.” you trailed off, feeling yourself begin to lose control. “Daryl!” you shouted his name as you came hard. “Fuck, (Y/N).” he groaned in your ear, when he too found his release, feeling your walls clench around him. He thrusted a few more times riding out his orgasm.

He fell next to you, catching his breath. You turned to look at him and brushed his bangs out of his face. Daryl’s blue eyes made contact with yours and the both of you laid there for a while, with your arms wrapped around each other, never breaking eye contact. “What are you thinking about?” you eventually asked. “I don’t ever wanna lose ya.” he stated. “You won’t.” you replied, shaking your head. He gave you an expression full of uncertainty. After everything that happened he still believed he wasn’t good enough for you. “I love you.” you said, full of sincerity. “I love you so much Daryl. And I am not going anywhere.” you stated with determination.

“I love ya too.”

This will be the final part of this short series. I had so much fun writing it. Please comment if you would like more stories like this! 

Tags: @jedishrubbery @posiemax

I absolutely hate this photo but it’s like the only one I can access rn that has my face so??

Hello! My name is Sammy!! I’m a nonbinary panromantic asexual who has only recently got into Thomas Sanders-related content and I’ve got to say, that ray of sunshine is a blessing and has made me laugh quite a bit as of late

I don’t really know what to say because I’m tired and honestly I just wanted to participate in something for once to help get over my absolute fear of posting things that I go through all the time. Please don’t hate my face I’m already very sensitive :,)

Week 28

(+3 Days)

HELLO THIRD TRIMESTER!!!!

The achy pelvis is not something I was expecting, its constant. I’ve turned my pregnancy pillow around so the part that usually goes at your head is between my legs, so even if I straighten my legs there is still a pillow there, I think that is helping. I’m having some difficulty falling asleep at nights, mainly because I’m finding it hard to get really comfortable. Heartburn is also a real bitch right now. I’ve taken zantac almost daily my entire pregnancy, and I’ve had to increase it lately. Last night I had to take two and drink some milk before I was able to actually lay down. It’s horrible.

My boobs are leaking a bit, which is fucking insane. Like the most natural thing in the world, but also super freaky at the same time. Bill made a gross face when I told him and then we laughed. Then later when I asked him to get me some milk for my heartburn he said “Just get some from your boobs” and we laughed some more.

We picked out our rocker glider today. Its fucking amazing. I can’t wait to sit in the bitch and take a nap because it’s so comfortable! My dad bought it, and boy am I glad he bought it because it was way more than we would ever be able to afford, but it was a super important item to me and I know we will get a lot of use out of it. Bill was really funny at the store because he kept pointing out things we need, and I’m like “yeah I know.” I created my registry over a year before we got pregnant and have buying things for a reason lol. He was AMAZED at the mamaRoo and is like insistent on getting one now. It’s funny because now he is noticing these things, when before he could care less.  

Bill finished construction on Kennedy’s room. It looks amazing and I am in awe of all the work he did. I say construction because it was literal construction. He took out the carpet, ripped down all the plaster walls, filled in a window, replaced another window, replaced all the electrical outlets and moved the light switch, insulated the entire room, put dry wall up, finished the walls with dry wall mud, painted, put in wood flooring, and installed trim around the entire room. It was a massive project and the room turned out amazing. We started putting the furniture in yesterday and I almost cried. We bought this furniture 3 years ago and it’s finally getting used.

I just want her here. I’m willing to wait until she is ready, but every day I get more and more excited to bring this little miracle home!

anonymous asked:

this might be a bit weird but what are the funniest asks you've gotten?? i always think you get some really funny ones like omg

oh man i literally spent a day looking for this (link), i got it when i first started this blog and it made me laugh so hard. i’ve had so many weird messages i could probably go through and make a whole post about them lol. here’s another good recent one (link)

anonymous asked:

The guys reacts at their s/o drinking a great amount of wine at a party and not get drunk. Just a little more chatty and cheerful.

Heheheh these made me giggle a bit

The Chocobro’s S/O gets tipsy:

Noctis: Noctis would find it adorable, but find it really hard to keep up with them when they’re chatty-tipsy. He’d just be content to keep close to them and listen to them talk and laugh and have a nice time.

Ignis: Ignis would be worried about them making themselves ill, but if it’s only a tipsy type of drunk he’d indulge their chatty side, and maybe even let them drag him to the floor for a dance. 

Prompto: Prompto would be all for chatty tipsy S/O, he’d be right there with them and they’d feed off of each other’s energy. These two would wind up being the life of the party and their corner would be full of laughter.

Gladio: Like Prompto, Gladio would be loving this side of his S/O. He’d probably want to throw some moves on the dancefloor, and his S/O being cheerfully tipsy gives him just the opportunity- he’d pull them, laughing down for a dance.

Daddy wasn’t Hurting me.(Spencer Reid)

Warnings: Slightly smutty 

Your pov:

      “Look at that Spence.” I said pointing down at our beautiful son. “He’s already knocked out. What did y’all do today?” I asked whispering to him laughing a bit. He came over to me and wrapped me up in his loving arms. He rested his head on top of mine and smiled. “I tired him out.” “By doing what?” I asked turning my head up to see his beautiful eyes. “We played sports.” I choked on a laugh a bit. “Sports? No, no. What did y’all really do?” I asked him smiling with a goofy grin. He rolled his eyes and laughed. “Okay, okay. I might’ve made him bored out of his mind. I took him to museums and then I did some magic tricks for him and then we got some ice cream and then he wanted to go to the park so we went and I pushed him on the swings and then he wanted to jump off the swing and I didn’t want him to because he might hurt himself and but he still wanted to so I told him that he would have to jump in my arms-” I stopped his rambling with a sweet kiss. “I don’t think you made him bored babe. You’re his daddy. He always thinks you’re fun.” I told him reaching my hand up ruffling it a bit. He gave me a small smile and kissed me. “I think we should let him sleep love. Let’s go.” he said pulling me out of the room. I closed the door slowly and quietly. He pulled my arm to our bedroom. He closed the door quietly and turned back to me. I sat on the bed as he followed me sighing. “Love?” He asked as I raised my brow. “Yes babe?” I asked as he took a seat next to me taking my hand into his. He took a big gulp and breath. “Do you think um, well maybe we could um, well you see I love Spence Jr. and I love taking him places and seeing how much he reminds me of us and I don’t know can we um maybe try for another?” He asked blushing slightly and smiling thinking about how much he loves our little boy. I smiled widely, the tears of joy coming to my eyes. “Yes babe, yes I want more.” I said smiling hugging him. He pulled away from the hug with a smile brighter than the sun and he captured his lips with mine. He kissed me with so much love, so much passion. He moved his lips down to my neck. I started to moan a bit. “We haven’t done this in forever.” I said running my fingers through his beautiful curls. He nodded his head and took the hem of my nightgown in his hands. He lifted it over my head and sighed in pleasure seeing my bare body. “Babe, you are so beautiful.” He said slowly moving me back on the bed. He crawled in between my legs and kissed my lips. I pulled his face closer to mine and bit the bottom of his lip. He groaned and pushed his tongue through my lips. He explored my mouth. I felt the wetness pool up waiting for him to enter me. I reached my hands out to his shirt tugging on it a bit telling him to take it off. He pulled away a bit and quickly took off his shirt and pants. “No foreplay tonight my dear, I need to be inside you.” He said as he revealed his throbbing member. I nodded and took a big breath bracing myself for the pain that I was about to endure. “Ready?” he asked intertwining our hands pulling me closer and closer to his body. He slowly entered me. I groaned in pain squeezing his hand. “I’m sorry love, I know we haven’t done it in forever.” He said kissing my forehead. He finally got all the way in as he stilled. I adjusted to him for a couple of minutes. His kisses were soft and tender. They were loving and passionate. “I love you.” He said pulling away looking deeply in his eyes as he started to move slowly. He moaned out in pleasure feeling my hips match his thrusts. I moaned his name and scratched my hand down his back feeling him go deeper and deeper. “Daddy! Stop! You’re hurting Mommy!” We both snapped our heads up to the door and Spencer quickly pulled out and put a cover over the both of us. Little Spence ran over to my side and tugged my hand. “Mommy, mommy are you okay?” He asked with tears running down his face. I looked over to Spencer seeing his distraught face. I took his hand and gave it a squeeze. I turned back to little Spence and gave him a smile. I picked him up putting him on our bed. “Yes sweetie, daddy wasn’t hurting me.” I said leaning back on the bed. “The why were you screaming daddy’s name?” he asked me again . I laughed a bit and looked over to my husband. “Daddy just scared me.” I said moving him in between me and Spencer. I laid down and pulled Spence Jr. with me. “Why don’t you go give daddy a hug yeah?” I asked him. He smiled and he nodded getting up and sitting on Spencer’s lap. “You weren’t hurting mommy?” he asked taking Spencer’s hands playing with his fingers. “No son, I wasn’t” He said smiling and hugging him. It allowed me enough time to slip on a robe over my bare body. Spencer looked over at me with a sad smile mouthing tomorrow. ‘Mhm definitely tomorrow’ I thought to myself as we all laid down slowly falling asleep. 

Make fun of a cashier with a speech impediment? Enjoy some extra time in line.

I was at a Craft Store in my town, and it wasn’t too busy, but only one register was open. The cashier, a teen aged girl, I could tell was working as best as she could. The process was a tad slower however, because she had a stutter, and a bit of a lisp.

As she worked through the line, asking the usual questions probably mandated by the big wigs (I’ve worked in retail, it’s a thing), the man behind me began to huff and puff. He muttered something about having places to go, he was in a hurry, etc. I ignored him, until I heard him start to mock her to his kids.

W-w-would you l-like y-y-y-y-y-y-your reSCHKeet?

The kids began to laugh. It really made my blood boil. Especially since I could tell the cashier heard his mockery. That really made my blood boil. When a person doesn’t respect retail employees as people, it’s the best way to tell whether a person is an asshat or not.

So, when it was my turn at the register, she asked me in a small voice “Are you a member o-o-of the rew-w-rewards club?” And I looked smugly at the guy behind me, and back at her.

Me: The rewards club? Oooo that sounds great! Please explain it to me?

She seemed surprised at first, but then looked at the guy behind me, and then it clicked.

I have never given my information so slowly in my life. Never had I asked as many questions as I did. She smiled and answered my inquiries, while the guy behind me was seething.

Him: Can you hurry up, please?

Me: And miss out on these great rewards? As if!

I only held him up for about 5 minutes… but wooo child, it felt so good.

anonymous asked:

Haha. To add to the occurrences of Jensen not liking some 'Jarob' one bit, didn't he go out of his way to jokingly comment on Jared's butt and telling Jared to 'back his ass up' against Jensen's own, during the King of Cons bloopers, while coincidently Jared and Rob were just playfully engaged in some face caressing action? I know, I know, it was just funny, but the (not) coincidence made me laugh quite a bit. :) I really love all of these dorks, honestly... And your blog is pretty amazing!

GOOD ONE. Noice. That’s right. I’m still working on a jealous J2 gifset right now. Maybe I’ll throw that in there. Thank you!!

Vocal Team reacting to you waking them up with kisses

Woozi/Jihoon;

I bet this precious cinnamonroll would be surprised, but so engulfed with happiness

“Good morning Jagi” with his morning voice

Seungkwan;

He probs would enjoy it but never admit it, so he would pretend to be asleep and fanboy internally, but after a while he would wake up and pretend to be a tad bit grumpy (but we all know he isn’t) and say something like

“You woke me up from a really good dream.”

Jeonghan;

When he opens his eyes, you would stop, but then he looks at you and sayas

“Who told you to stop?”

Joshua;

He would smile and just say

“Even though my day just started, You just made it ten times better,”

Dk/Seokmin;

He would smile and laugh

“Awww, now I have to do the same to you one day”