and this amused me

Ah, the carnival... so many fun attractions to go on!

First, check out the merry-go-round, and treat yourself to an ice-cold…

…“Clused Pop!

They come in three flavors: chary, leem, and opal.

Next, prepare yourself for the wacky thrills…

…of the Fun Hose!

We don’t know exactly how this virtual world designed to be the best amusement park possible managed to lose a sign letter, but we suspect the clown entrance ate it.

After that, consider running from the jaguar-headed ape thing straight into…

…the “Foature” tent!

Warning: sign may change later to properly read “fortune” in closeups when the animators finally notice.

And last of all, when you’re tired of the boardwalk, come on down to everyone’s favorite – the classic, the unforgettable…

…”Fun.

Do you eat it? Play it? Ride it? Is it full of kittens? In all honestly, we have no idea, but there’s a good chance it’s illegal.

My boyfriend told me over text that he didn't know the Minotaur story
  • Boyfriend: I... I don't even know the story that well babe, I can't even say xD
  • Me: Okay so
  • Me: Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos, the best and shiniest bull you ever saw, and he's like "You can have this, but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later" and Minos is like "Sure yeah okay man whatever" so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray, and everyone standing around is like "Hot fuck look at that bull" And Minos agrees, and he likes the bull SO much he decides to just quietly sort of...keep it. And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it's one of his own, lame normal bulls, and Poseidon's no pushover so of course he notices.
  • Me: Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered, and he's royal pissed about this, so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever, and he infects Minos' wife Pasiphae with a desperate, DESPERATE thirst for the bull. Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D.
  • Boyfriend: ..........Thefuck.
  • Me: But it's hard to convince a bull, especially a divinely spawned bull, to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen, so she comes up with a plan
  • Boyfriend: I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her??
  • Me: Ohh, no no no, that's the much much more tame story of Europa, who has sex with Zeus in bull form. This is different
  • Me: She goes to the best inventor she knows, Daedalus, and she's like "I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT" and Daedalus is like "That's really weird maybe you should talk to someone" and she's like "I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don't get some bull dick ASAP. But he doesn't want me because I am not fat, four-legged, and mooing."
  • Boyfriend: Oh..... oh no.
  • Me: So Daedalus shrugs, probably shudders a little, and builds the prettiest, most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw, but he makes it hollow, presumably with some openings in some awkward places.
  • Boyfriend: OH GOD. NO.
  • Me: So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull, climbs in it, and waits. And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor, and he apparently knows what a bull likes, because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she's been dreaming of
  • Boyfriend: I........ I need an aspirin. That is disgusting.
  • Me: Only she apparently hasn't been tracking her cycles, because she gets pregnant, and births the minotaur and King Minos is like "What the fuck?" and Pasiphae is like "Honey I need to tell you something"
  • Me: And that is how it happened
  • Boyfriend: That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS
  • Me: Welcome to Mythology.

Headcanon: Lance is the loud one, constantly bragging to everyone who will listen about how cool and hot and perfect his boyfriend is

But Keith is the one who gives zero shits about PDA. He casually slips his fingers between Lance’s at breakfast. He rests a hand at the small of his boyfriend’s back during their morning meetings. At the end of dangerous missions, he grabs Lance by the collar and sticks his tongue down his throat. He frequently helps himself to a handful of ass whenever he walks by 

I love it how when I speak in another language people tell me that I “have an accent”
Like, yeah, I have an accent in my first language, why are you surprised by this?