and they will be trying to wake jane and jake up

A Homestuck Character arc summary:
  • The world is on fire
  • John: oh geez that sucks *does nothing*
  • Dave: this is fine hold on lemme take a selfie
  • Rose: I tried everything to put out this fire, nothing worked. The only viable solution is that I summon the forces of evil.
  • Jade: Oh no! :0 *falls asleep and only wakes up for the climax*
  • Karkat: OH MY FUCK THE WORLD IS ON FIRE WHY IS NO ONE PANICKING NO ONE IS REACTING APPROPRIATELY TO THIS *I’M* NOT REACTING APPROPRIATELY TO THIS I HATE MYSELF.
  • Aradia: This was rather inevitable. I brought marshmallows.
  • Sollux: no one lii2tened 2 me when ii told you guy2 you were doomed ii have no sympathy for thii2
  • Tavros: uH, wHAT IS GOING ON?
  • Nepeta: :33 < *ac is sad her ship sunk because they died in the fire* they were purrfect for each other!
  • Kanaya: I Am All For The Utilisation Of Diplomatic Methods In This Situation However If All Else Fails I May Try The Chainsaw
  • Terezi: VR1SK4 NO
  • Vriska: That’s right!!!!!!!! Twas I that set the world a8laze!!!!!!!! 8ut that was inevita8le and now I’ll put out said fire, making me the hero you all deserved.
  • Equius: Is no being going to acknowledge how STRONG and L00d I am despite the situation.
  • Gamzee: Im GlAd We ArE aLl BeInG GoOd FrIeNdS
  • ...nevermind
  • MURDER
  • Eridan: wwhatever, this is not my fault.
  • Feferi: Glub! I’m shore we can sort it out if we just talk about our feelings!
  • Jane: It can't be that bad...*is that bad* oh shucks.
  • Dirk: I can handle the fire but can somebody please help me with my failures as a human being.
  • Jake: Wowie! I can finally live the adventure of a lifetime, just like my heroes! (Jake you are just showing your ass) Just like my heroes!
  • Roxy: imma put out the fire and imma be hot af while doing so just watch me
  • Calliope: Such a thrilling epic UoU
  • Caliborn: BUUUUURN MOTHERFUCKEEEERS!!!!!!!!

On Earth C everyone decides to mix and mash holidays into one giant superholiday and it’s a mess but a fun mess. The trolls tell the humans about 12th Perigee’s Eve, the Rose and Dave explain Hanukkah to everyone (Assuming the other Strilondes never had the chance to experience it firsthand what with being the last humans alive and such), the Crockberts and Harlenglishes get super Christmas hyped. Since Dirk, Roxy, and Calliope aren’t doing much, they put their efforts into New Years, since that’s a pretty easy concept to grasp. They all work super hard with their own designated jobs for a big party they all plan to have on this superholiday. 

Kanaya and Rose focus on decorating for the party, they really could have gotten the job done pretty quick but they had to be really extra about it and go all out. And of course, some breaks to make out a little. In the end maybe things were just a little TOO much for this type of party.

Jade is Santa (Shit let’s be Santa) featuring elf Karkat and reindeer Dave, they’re the ones that hand out all the gifts. Dave jokes about Karkat’s outfit but Karkat just calls Dave a furry, in the most Davekat form of romantic way possible of course. Meanwhile Jade is just having too much fun being Santa.

Jake, Gcatavrosprite, and Dirk go out to get a tree. They come back with two because they couldn’t agree on which tree was the best. Jake picked a super tiny tree because he believes it could do it’s best, while Dirk picked an oak tree because no one explained what type of tree they were supposed to get to him. Gcatavros sided with Jake but Dirk was being stubborn about his tree choice. 

Jane, Roxy, and Callie are on kitchen and food duty, of course. Roxy has to keep a close eye on Callie to make sure she doesn’t, you know, drug anything. But she would have been looking at her anyway, can’t go without some Callieroxy or Calliejaneroxy. But still, Jane is the only one that really knows what she’s doing so half the food ends up being shit no matter how much she tries to get things in order.

Terezi and John are in charge of all the hella rad party games. But, they’re both assholes, so they end up rigging each game in certain ways just to mess with the people playing. Not to mention, they messed with each other a lot while setting things up, it was a mess.

Basically, the whole thing ends up being a mess, all of it. It’s all total shit. The place is overly decorated, the reindeer and elf are flirting while Santa has too much work to do and is goofing around, both trees are total shit, most of the food is burnt or even real food, the party games are total jackassery, the whole party is just TERRIBLE. 

And everyone had a fantastic time. They all ended up laughing at themselves and at each other. The decorations may have been too much but they sure were pretty, Santa and her helpers may not be great at their job but they look adorable trying, the trees may be wrong but they’re decorated anyway, the food may suck but it’s perfect for throwing at your friends’ faces, and the games may be rigged but its hilarious to watch everyone fuck up.

For the first time in a while everyone is together, they’re all enjoying a wonderful genuine time, laughing, playing, singing, even if it’s all fucked up, who cares? Perfect is too plain for these kids, none of them are perfect, they’re all fucked up in one way or another and they all love each other anyway. So in a way, all the fuckups of this party made it perfect. It was the most fun they’d had in a while. 

Terezi brings up how much Vriska would have been COMPLAINING if she were there, and they all have a genuine laugh about it, especially gcatav. Dave and Karkat get caught under the mistletoe and get too flustered to kiss with everyone chanting “KISS KISS KISS”. Jade hands out everyone’s gifts from her Santa bag. Jake teaches Roxy some Christmas songs she can bug everyone with all by singing them night long. Dirk tries to light the Menorah but ends up lighting everything in that area on fire for a second because he used a flame thrower. Rose and Kanaya share the big New Years kiss, as expected of the hs powercouple Rosemary. John and Jane are just about ready to start launching cake in everyone’s faces, for a full scale food war. Callie gets to experience all of this for the first time so she assumes this is what normal Holiday parties are like, and she fucking loves it. A+ time. 

All of them loved it. They all wake up the next day on the floor of the same room, and just start laughing about the great time they all had.

They do it every year now.

JAMFIC: single dad!dirk/jake

@cityinthesea shared an idea recently:

I want… an AU… where dirk raises dave, and beta bro just doesn’t exist
single dad dirk, where dirk dropped out of college in his third year of an art + philosopher double major to raise then 3yr old dave, makes money doing freelance coding and odd jobs, and meets jake when dave is around 9 just when he’s starting to get sassy and has picked up swearing like a sailor from his older bro (to dirks everlasting shame) and dirk has effectively spent the last 6yrs in the most incredible dry spell and internally screaming at the fear of fucking up this child he is responsible for
jake takes to dave well, and dave is an openly affection seeking little shit because he grew up in a good (if a bit unqualified) home

Aaaaaand I hadn’t done a ficjam in months, so I had some fun with the idea. Within you’ll find small Dave, Aunt Janey, a weary but warm Dirk, and a flirty hopeful Jake. And no beta’ing whatsoever.


Jane had told you a million times that she’d given you a key to her house for a reason, that anytime you were in her area, you were welcome to come visit. At the time, it’d worried you; you’d always gotten the impression Jane fancied you, but were never sure. The last thing you wanted to do was take advantage of that. But giving someone a key to one’s abode and private sanctuary was not a decision made lightly, and Jane Crocker didn’t make any decision lightly.

You’d given her a pester (or bother, on her end) to let her know you’d be coming around. Now, it’s a crisp morning in the outskirts of Seattle, the air fresh from the evening rain. From the front door of her house, you can hear the faint noise of livelihood going on inside, that distinctly vague feeling permeating. It’s been a long time since you’ve been in a home like Jane’s, you think.

You knock, and there’s no answer. The key bites into your fingers as you fortify your nerves and slide it into the door, unlocking it (oh dear, you’d sort of hoped that wouldn’t work?) and letting yourself in.

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Reverse Endangered (Outline)

This got kinda long, and it’s dark in some spots (character death, violence, etc.), but for anyone wondering what happens in the reverse-Endangered storyline, I made up a full (and very rough draft of a) plot in one day. :y The below picks up from chapter ”negative zero-point-five,” because I am the best at naming things.

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So, I’m suddenly heavily concerned about all the stuff that needs to be addressed in Homestuck. There seems to be so few left that only thinking about it made me nervous, therefore here I am making a big ass post of stuff that’s still “missing" in the story, hoping that everything will find its way to a closure. This is also going to be a summary of the stakes at hand that I can think of, probably.

  • Aranea. There’s a ghost GT!Aranea in the ghost army, in the crowd featured in Karkat’s awakening in the afterlife. What’s the deal with that? Is that a mistake? Or is Aranea’s destiny actually not a big deal? I don’t believe so, and I’m more and more convinced that being revived with the ring and dying again makes you permadie in the way that you don’t get a ghost. Why did the guardians, for example, never seemingly had a ghost? Was the dad that John saw a ghost or a fruit of his subconscious? I don’t think it was ever clearly addressed. But whatever, the matter at hand here is actually Aranea. Is she going to make another appearence? Why was she cut out of Vriskagram? Why was she specifically removed from the ghost army when it showed? What’s going on? Is it about something we’re not supposed to know yet?
  • Ok, this paragraph will be way shorter. Remember the flashy weird frog that was supposed to be the universe the Kids were meant to create? It was killed by Bec when Jade was very young. Is all that still relevant? 
  • Is Tavros’s arc over? I don’t want to believe it is, and GCATavrospriteis a thing but he didn’t wake up or show up or anything. What kind of role is that going to play? Ok, maybe the last question is not about something that needs to be addressed, but something that will probably happen in the EOA6 flash which I’m really curious to get to.
  • What the hell are the Mayor and Calliope gonna do??? Is there really all there is to say about both of their arcs? Waiting for stuff to happen and friends to fight? I get it, people like them deserve some rest and all, but don’t also anyone else? Their roles in general seem weird in this context.
  • Can sprites survive in a new universe?? Not even Davesprite knew this, he said he was probably going to stop existing or something when everything is said and done, given his sprite nature. But aren’t sprites supposed to know their stuff about the game?
  • WHEN THE HELL WILL THE RAIN BE PLAYED. Will it be played at all? Will Jasprose do it for Rose? How does Jasprose contribute to Rose’s arc?
  • Will Jane ever talk again. Seriously. And is Nannasprite going to have a role in this? What are we going to do with two Nannasprites?
  • Given that every GO!sprite showed up, is Erisolsprite still out there flipping off someone? Was the trickster arc the last we saw of him?
  • Is Davepeta actually the one to take down LE?? And since we’re talking about them, can sprite unfuse? I don’t think that’s the case, but I’m suddenly curious. 
  • Is Vriska ever to be actually punished for her bad deeds? Will (Vriska) kick her ass somehow? Is Vriska’s plan going to work? People say her plan will go to shit, but suddenly, I don’t see why. She has to pay over how shit she treats people, not over how useful she is. I don’t see what punishing her with making her plans fail would accomplish, since making them is not what she did wrong this time. 
  • Is the Masterpiece timeline the same as the one we’re currently in? Today’s upd8 implied that the one we’re currently dealing with is artist!Caliborn, since his cape is ripped. But there’s something that feels off there.
  • The alpha kids need to have a talk. Very badly. Jake needs to make up with Jane and Dirk. He needs to know that both of them still consider him as a friend.
  • Is any ship ever going to be confirmed ever? Is JohnRoxy going to actually be a thing? Is Davekat ever going to be confirmed? I know Hussie is probably just trying to warm us up to both cases, especially Davekat, but the teasing needs to end, and explicit questions need to be answered. Is JohnRezi even serious? Since it was introduced so late from both our perspective and the characters’, did it happen because it serves a purpose? Will we actually see Dave coming out to John and Jade about his sexuality? Is Javepeta an actual possibility??
  • Will we ever know what Gamzee’s deal is? In which percentage was he mind-controlled? Is he doomed to be forever a plot vehicle, or does he have anything to say about his timeline? I don’t want to believe that that is all there is about Gamzee. Even if it turns out he is only an asshole and always was and goatdad simply let him eat sopor splime to keep him in check, I don’t want to believe that there was nothing relevant behind his reaction when he was freed from Aranea’s mind control, other than a way to trick Terezi into letting her guard down through her feelings. There’s a lot of stuff that just simply put me off about his narrative the way I perceive it right now, and I need both closure and an explanation, which I always fear wil never come.
  • DAD NEEDS TO HUG JANE AND POSSIBLY JOHN! Alright this one was real short. Something I want to understand about Dad though is if he is a universal constant or what, here. Is he actually the product of something else? Is he also the product of ecto-biology? If not, what else? Is he just Jane’s natural son in B1, and John’s natural son in B2? Who did Jane/John have him with??
  • What is the damn deal between Karkat and the cherubs! I need to know that stuff asap! If they were just parallels (an awful lot of parallels though, honestly) or if there’s something else going on here.
  • Will Caliborn have redemption? I’m ready to accept it if he’s just going to be the irredimable bad kid, but it tells bad stuff on a moral point of view, I think. It’s like as if his nature removes him of his agency, or that is just flat out what he wants to be, in which case though it makes things a little flat, I guess? I don’t know, I’m probably making a very useless point here.
  • Will it ever be confirmed if John’s retcon powers are the result of temporarily gaining all of his friends GT powers or it’s something else? It feels pretty straight forward to me, but you never know. Also I wonder if they’re from the same timeline, but I said that some point before. Speaking of, how do the Alpha Kids get back to everyone else? Where are the other characters during the Masterpiece?
  • For the love of all that is holy, someone save PM. Who am I kidding, she’s going to kick asses. I just wonder what her place is in all this.
  • Are the souls inside LE ever going to be saved…?
  • Will we see the GO!ghosts ever again? Will Eridan, Feferi, Aradia and Sollux say anything at all before everything ends? Will unfused versions of Equius and Nepeta say a word to each other ever again? Did Remem8er have any consequence at all? Why did we cut out to Terezi reaching the Striders seemingly without no consequence at all?
  • What’s Ms Paint role in all of this stuff??
  • Is Abraxas Karkat’s denizen Y/N

Alright, I think that’s it. I can’t think of anything else right now, aside from the usual “will anyone permadie or what” and “will they end up all together in a new universe and be happy forever or will something go down the toilette even if they win”. So yeah. Hope you had fun getting to the bottom of this wall of text. 

Stay With Me

Dirk and Jake have a one night stand. Waking up early on a bright Sunday morning, sunlight streaking through the windows because Jake will be a dead man before he ever closes his blinds to the sun.

But Jake’s asleep now. And Dirk is awake.

Oh, lost, confused Dirk burrowing his face into the pillow trying to rub the groggy sleep and senseless notions of love out of his mind. And he just stays still there. Breathing into the cold, white cotton as if he can get lost in it. If he tries hard enough it’s almost like he’s another person. That this is his home. That the man laying beside him is his lover.

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