and they will be trying to wake jane and jake up

A Homestuck Character arc summary:
  • The world is on fire
  • John: oh geez that sucks *does nothing*
  • Dave: this is fine hold on lemme take a selfie
  • Rose: I tried everything to put out this fire, nothing worked. The only viable solution is that I summon the forces of evil.
  • Jade: Oh no! :0 *falls asleep and only wakes up for the climax*
  • Karkat: OH MY FUCK THE WORLD IS ON FIRE WHY IS NO ONE PANICKING NO ONE IS REACTING APPROPRIATELY TO THIS *I’M* NOT REACTING APPROPRIATELY TO THIS I HATE MYSELF.
  • Aradia: This was rather inevitable. I brought marshmallows.
  • Sollux: no one lii2tened 2 me when ii told you guy2 you were doomed ii have no sympathy for thii2
  • Tavros: uH, wHAT IS GOING ON?
  • Nepeta: :33 < *ac is sad her ship sunk because they died in the fire* they were purrfect for each other!
  • Kanaya: I Am All For The Utilisation Of Diplomatic Methods In This Situation However If All Else Fails I May Try The Chainsaw
  • Terezi: VR1SK4 NO
  • Vriska: That’s right!!!!!!!! Twas I that set the world a8laze!!!!!!!! 8ut that was inevita8le and now I’ll put out said fire, making me the hero you all deserved.
  • Equius: Is no being going to acknowledge how STRONG and L00d I am despite the situation.
  • Gamzee: Im GlAd We ArE aLl BeInG GoOd FrIeNdS
  • ...nevermind
  • MURDER
  • Eridan: wwhatever, this is not my fault.
  • Feferi: Glub! I’m shore we can sort it out if we just talk about our feelings!
  • Jane: It can't be that bad...*is that bad* oh shucks.
  • Dirk: I can handle the fire but can somebody please help me with my failures as a human being.
  • Jake: Wowie! I can finally live the adventure of a lifetime, just like my heroes! (Jake you are just showing your ass) Just like my heroes!
  • Roxy: imma put out the fire and imma be hot af while doing so just watch me
  • Calliope: Such a thrilling epic UoU
  • Caliborn: BUUUUURN MOTHERFUCKEEEERS!!!!!!!!
JAMFIC: single dad!dirk/jake

@cityinthesea shared an idea recently:

I want… an AU… where dirk raises dave, and beta bro just doesn’t exist
single dad dirk, where dirk dropped out of college in his third year of an art + philosopher double major to raise then 3yr old dave, makes money doing freelance coding and odd jobs, and meets jake when dave is around 9 just when he’s starting to get sassy and has picked up swearing like a sailor from his older bro (to dirks everlasting shame) and dirk has effectively spent the last 6yrs in the most incredible dry spell and internally screaming at the fear of fucking up this child he is responsible for
jake takes to dave well, and dave is an openly affection seeking little shit because he grew up in a good (if a bit unqualified) home

Aaaaaand I hadn’t done a ficjam in months, so I had some fun with the idea. Within you’ll find small Dave, Aunt Janey, a weary but warm Dirk, and a flirty hopeful Jake. And no beta’ing whatsoever.


Jane had told you a million times that she’d given you a key to her house for a reason, that anytime you were in her area, you were welcome to come visit. At the time, it’d worried you; you’d always gotten the impression Jane fancied you, but were never sure. The last thing you wanted to do was take advantage of that. But giving someone a key to one’s abode and private sanctuary was not a decision made lightly, and Jane Crocker didn’t make any decision lightly.

You’d given her a pester (or bother, on her end) to let her know you’d be coming around. Now, it’s a crisp morning in the outskirts of Seattle, the air fresh from the evening rain. From the front door of her house, you can hear the faint noise of livelihood going on inside, that distinctly vague feeling permeating. It’s been a long time since you’ve been in a home like Jane’s, you think.

You knock, and there’s no answer. The key bites into your fingers as you fortify your nerves and slide it into the door, unlocking it (oh dear, you’d sort of hoped that wouldn’t work?) and letting yourself in.

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On Earth C everyone decides to mix and mash holidays into one giant superholiday and it’s a mess but a fun mess. The trolls tell the humans about 12th Perigee’s Eve, the Rose and Dave explain Hanukkah to everyone (Assuming the other Strilondes never had the chance to experience it firsthand what with being the last humans alive and such), the Crockberts and Harlenglishes get super Christmas hyped. Since Dirk, Roxy, and Calliope aren’t doing much, they put their efforts into New Years, since that’s a pretty easy concept to grasp. They all work super hard with their own designated jobs for a big party they all plan to have on this superholiday. 

Kanaya and Rose focus on decorating for the party, they really could have gotten the job done pretty quick but they had to be really extra about it and go all out. And of course, some breaks to make out a little. In the end maybe things were just a little TOO much for this type of party.

Jade is Santa (Shit let’s be Santa) featuring elf Karkat and reindeer Dave, they’re the ones that hand out all the gifts. Dave jokes about Karkat’s outfit but Karkat just calls Dave a furry, in the most Davekat form of romantic way possible of course. Meanwhile Jade is just having too much fun being Santa.

Jake, Gcatavrosprite, and Dirk go out to get a tree. They come back with two because they couldn’t agree on which tree was the best. Jake picked a super tiny tree because he believes it could do it’s best, while Dirk picked an oak tree because no one explained what type of tree they were supposed to get to him. Gcatavros sided with Jake but Dirk was being stubborn about his tree choice. 

Jane, Roxy, and Callie are on kitchen and food duty, of course. Roxy has to keep a close eye on Callie to make sure she doesn’t, you know, drug anything. But she would have been looking at her anyway, can’t go without some Callieroxy or Calliejaneroxy. But still, Jane is the only one that really knows what she’s doing so half the food ends up being shit no matter how much she tries to get things in order.

Terezi and John are in charge of all the hella rad party games. But, they’re both assholes, so they end up rigging each game in certain ways just to mess with the people playing. Not to mention, they messed with each other a lot while setting things up, it was a mess.

Basically, the whole thing ends up being a mess, all of it. It’s all total shit. The place is overly decorated, the reindeer and elf are flirting while Santa has too much work to do and is goofing around, both trees are total shit, most of the food is burnt or even real food, the party games are total jackassery, the whole party is just TERRIBLE. 

And everyone had a fantastic time. They all ended up laughing at themselves and at each other. The decorations may have been too much but they sure were pretty, Santa and her helpers may not be great at their job but they look adorable trying, the trees may be wrong but they’re decorated anyway, the food may suck but it’s perfect for throwing at your friends’ faces, and the games may be rigged but its hilarious to watch everyone fuck up.

For the first time in a while everyone is together, they’re all enjoying a wonderful genuine time, laughing, playing, singing, even if it’s all fucked up, who cares? Perfect is too plain for these kids, none of them are perfect, they’re all fucked up in one way or another and they all love each other anyway. So in a way, all the fuckups of this party made it perfect. It was the most fun they’d had in a while. 

Terezi brings up how much Vriska would have been COMPLAINING if she were there, and they all have a genuine laugh about it, especially gcatav. Dave and Karkat get caught under the mistletoe and get too flustered to kiss with everyone chanting “KISS KISS KISS”. Jade hands out everyone’s gifts from her Santa bag. Jake teaches Roxy some Christmas songs she can bug everyone with all by singing them night long. Dirk tries to light the Menorah but ends up lighting everything in that area on fire for a second because he used a flame thrower. Rose and Kanaya share the big New Years kiss, as expected of the hs powercouple Rosemary. John and Jane are just about ready to start launching cake in everyone’s faces, for a full scale food war. Callie gets to experience all of this for the first time so she assumes this is what normal Holiday parties are like, and she fucking loves it. A+ time. 

All of them loved it. They all wake up the next day on the floor of the same room, and just start laughing about the great time they all had.

They do it every year now.

Reverse Endangered (Outline)

This got kinda long, and it’s dark in some spots (character death, violence, etc.), but for anyone wondering what happens in the reverse-Endangered storyline, I made up a full (and very rough draft of a) plot in one day. :y The below picks up from chapter ”negative zero-point-five,” because I am the best at naming things.

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How Homestuck characters sleep
  • John: Back or side, depending on which feels comfier at the time. Has a tendency to snore.
  • Rose: Curled up on her side, usually under an elaborate blanket arrangement.
  • Dave: On his back, keeping his arms free. He never got out of the habit of staying alert for surprise attacks in the middle of the night.
  • Jade: Usually on her stomach, which leads to her friends wondering how she can breathe through her pillow. She can fall asleep pretty much anywhere, and does. Still sleepwalks sometimes.
  • Karkat: Still doesn't understand how humans sleep without a recuperacoon. When he doesn't have one, he tends to fidget a lot, never staying in one position for more than a few minutes.
  • Terezi: Sprawled across the floor, usually. Sometimes in a pile of scalemates.
  • Gamzee: Rarely sleeps on the meteor. When he does, it's in a corner of the lab where no one can find him. Or in an air vent by accident.
  • Kanaya: No longer needs sleep as a rainbow drinker.
  • Sollux: Depends on his mood. Sometimes he's as restless as Karkat, other times no one can wake him no matter how hard they try.
  • Aradia: On her side. No one knows how her arms are comfortable like that.
  • Tavros: His horns make it hard for him to find any comfortable position.
  • Nepeta: Curled up like a cat.
  • Vriska: When she doesn't have a recuperacoon, usually on her back, though sometimes she falls asleep at her desk.
  • Equius: Tends to break his recuperacoon and ends up in a pile of slime on the floor.
  • Eridan: Always has a recuperacoon. Always.
  • Feferi: Perfectly content to fall asleep wherever when underwater. Sometimes she sleepfloats. She finds it difficult to sleep on land.
  • Jane: On her side, usually hugging the blanket to her.
  • Jake: Sprawled all over his bed. Snores like John.
  • Roxy: However she falls into bed.
  • Dirk: Has never had a normal sleeping pattern. Falls asleep whenever tired and wherever he is at the time.
[S] Game Over... Continue?... 9...

Well…

That was something.

So let’s do a tally of who all died, or as far as we can tell, DEFINITELY died during this update, who’s still alive, and why this might not necessarily be all that bad.

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OKAY EVERYONE LISTEN UP PLEASE!

I call this my “Circle of Life” theory because ANDREW HUSSIE is the PUN MASTER and he would TOTALLY do this.

Okay first of all.

All the trolls featured above are D.E.A.D. in canon okay? BUT! I think they’ll be back (maybe alive, maybe not- who knows how Hussie’ll do it) and fighting when The Update occurs. Why? Please look at the diagram above. Also note that I wanted to do this quickly and with the kids featured in the alpha session and with the dead trolls solely because they are the ones who play the biggest parts I think.

Eridan- PRINCE of HOPE- meaning he links to both Jake and Dirk.

Nepeta- ROGUE of HEART- linking Dirk and Roxy

Equius- HEIR of VOID- linking Roxy and John. Why John? John can go literally anywhere now, thanks to that ultimate weapon glowy house thingy. And he has already featured within the Alpha session, and wants to help Roxy in any way he can.

Tavros- PAGE of BREATH- linking John and Jake, completing the circle of life.

The Circle is surrounding both Feferi and Jane, and links outside the circle to Jade. Feferi links both Jane and Jade as the WITCH of LIFE.

And Vriska links to Aranea, both light players, and both trying to defeat Lord English (or at least Vriska was going to do that, but who knows if she was just speculating with Meenah. She got so far, why would she just stop herself without going over it in her head extensively? Probably wishful thinking, I know, but I just am so surprised Vriska would just… give up like that.). Aranea, even if she does succeed, will take the Condesce’s place. So she’s going to play a huge part either way.

On top of all this, why would Hussie link the dead beta trolls into the alpha session as well as to some of the beta kids who will play a big part in the session? There has to be a reason for it. AND why would he even feature Nepeta and Equius in —>Roxy: Wake up? And not to mention- all those dead trolls as well as Sollux, featured as the sprites for the alpha session. WHY??? It’s all very fishy if you ask me- pun intended.

10/25/14 upd8

So this is what I think of the upd8 so you are henceforth forewarned of spoilers.

Let’s take stock, shall we?

Jake is dead (Heroic)

Jane is dead (Just)

Jade is dead (Just)

Gamzee is dead

Kanaya is dead (again)

Karkat’s fucking dead (agAIN)

Terezi’s on her way out (probably dying or at least mortally wounded 

I think I just won dead Dave bingo (Heroic)

Rose is dead (or dying) (undeclared)

Dirk is probs an hour or two away

John just beat the shit out of Caliborn and zapped out

Condy and Aranea are screaming at each other

Roxy absconded into a void with Rose.

Bec Noir and Bec Mail Lady are still alive and are hoping that Jade will be revived on her questbed

The alpha kids’ session’s Jack is kinda just hovering in the void being useless.

Alright, that appears to be everyone.

Let me start off by saying that upd8 was both amazing and horrifying. We all knew Hussie was probably going to pull something like this and when the title of the flash read “GAME OVER” i knew it wasn’t gunna be good. So for all of you who are still crying and in hysterics over everyone’s death, this is for you so you have some kind of hope to cling to until A6A6I3 is put up.

Who do we know is alive? Dirk, Roxy, John, Aranea, and Condy. Caliborn is also alive but for the fact that he’s not actually in their session we’re going to kindly put him aside until he becomes of more relevant importance to the other characters while not being Lord English. 

First off, Let’s start with Roxy.

As we all just saw, Roxy took hold of Rose and disappeared with her into a void space before they both became barbequed kanaya all over again. There are many theories as to what a player of Void’s powers actually are but what is most speculated is that Roxy, being a rogue, can “steal” something from nothing, a.k.a. from void. This is false. That is what a Thief player does. Rogue’s are similar but that is not what they do. Thief’s steal for themselves, Rogue’s steal for others. I think we all remember that Condy was originally trying to get Roxy to recreate the Mother Grub egg, which was previously destroyed by Eridan three years prior. Roxy’s powers as a Rogue of Void is to “Recover that which was lost”. What did we just lose? About 6 of our favorite characters. Who’s still alive? Roxy.

Now before you all get your panties in a twist in either excitement/hope or denial, let me remind you that Roxy is not a fully realized Rogue of Void, and has yet to successfully create the Mother Grub egg. That being said, where did she just end up? In a protected space in void. Does anyone remember where that is? Yes, you in the back. Correct! The last place we remember there being a protected space in void is with our good friend Calliope. Having both been there once before, That’s probably where Roxy has, either purposefully or accidentally, taken herself and Rose.

I’m just going to put a pin in this for now and we’ll possibly come back to it later.

Who else is alive? Let’s see… ah yes, John.

Y'all can give John all the shit for being a complete and utter dunderfuck dumbass but he can kick ass alright? He defeated Dave’s denizen (or what I would assume is his denizen) back in Cascade when trying to start the scratch. He just beat the shit out of Caiborn, who, may I remind you, just blew up twelve planets that got increasingly difficult to do so and in case you DIDN’T NOTICE, Caliborn has ascended to god tier. So yeah, John’s pretty kick ass.

That being said, he just did the zappy thing and zapped the fuck out of there. He’s been doing this for a while, previously being caught in Homostuck. What have we experienced with John’s zappy powers? That is can affect timelines. He once got in between Jade and Dave arguing and that causde it to become a doomed timeline because it was not supposed to happen like that. So we know that depending on where and when John zaps to, he can change the timeline. Now if Roxy fails to do her thing as Rogue of Void, John can probably use his zappy powers to go back to before this shit happened and rewrite the timeline so that no one dies or so that it can be fixed later by someone who’s more experience in fixing timelines. When did John just do his zappy thing? At the end of the upd8, which means the next panel is probably going to have something to do with John and where the fuck he ended up this time.

Another pin right there.

Now let’s go back to Rose and Roxy.

As far as I understand it, Rose did not die trying to save someone else, thus creating a heroic death, nor was she killed as a result of doing something evil, which creates a just death. So I think she’s going to be revived via god tier powers. Now, Rose is a seer of light, correct? Seers generally know how to best use their aspect to help others or themselves realize things that are important for their success. Rose’s aspect is light and being a seer of light, she generally holds a shitload of power of knowledge and realization Now assuming my theory about her death being neither heroic nor just and that she’s going to be revived, she’ll wake up and talk with Roxy. Being Rose, who’s had three years to get a handle on her god tier powers, she’s very likely to help Roxy reach her full potential in a very short amount of time. This could prove my previous theory that Roxy is going to “reclaim what was lost”, a.k.a. the lives of Kanaya, Karkat, Jane, Jake, Dave, and Jade. Or she may just recreate their bodies, being as Karkat and Kanaya are toast, since I think her aspect only covers the physical aspect of things and not the spiritual.

This is where Dirk comes in.

Dirk is Prince of Heart. Heart is the aspect that deals with the soul. Now after our little Prince shows up to the party two hours late with Starbucks and realizes all his friends are dead, he’s probably going to freak on Condy and Aranea. 

OR

Seeing as Roxy just disappeared into the void, he could run into her and and Rose. Who then drag him away to where they were going, which is probably Calliope’s safe haven. 

Now, Dirk’s class is one that destroys, so you may be thinking “how the hell is he going to create/bring back life if he’s a destroyer?” Well, we all saw what he was doing to Aranea; he was physically ripping her soul from her body, and that wasn’t even a real dirk, it was an imaginary one created by Jake in his hyped up state. My theory is that since he was able to physically rip thos two aspects of a person apart, could he not do the same to, say, this life and the next? He could destroy the very boundary between the world were a body exists and the space in which the soul exists.

Thus, Roxy recreates Karkat and Kanayas bodies and Dirk can rip their souls from the other world a.k.a. dream bubbles and put them back into their bodies. Thus bringing them back to life..

Are you all following so far? Cool. Let’s quickly look at Aranea and Condy.

Theyre screaming at each other. Or rather, Condy is screaming at Aranea who is screaming in fear from Condy. It also looks like she’s being choked by the emperess. Now we all know that Aranea is only alive right now because of the un-prototyped ring. 

Back to Roxy now.

Roxy can, again, “recover that which was lost”. Technically, she lost the ring when she was in trixter mode and she knows what it does so she could possibly recreate that first. 

The ring brings back the dead.

Who else brings back the dead?

Jane.

Who is she gunna put the ring on to bring back?

Jane. 

Then Jane is going to revive everyone that her powers work on, so this excludes Karkat. Yes I know, all of you want your precious krabkrab back, but as I explained before, there are other methods for that to happen. 

Another way that they could bring back Jane is to go into a dream buble to find her, and put the ring on her soul form, which brings her back but her body is still stabbed through with Jake’s on LOFAF. So she could go around and bring everyone back to life and finally bring herself back to life so she disappears and reawakens in her own body.

Real quick here, I just thought of something. If Roxy recreates Karkat’s body then Jane’s “Once only” rule shouldn’t apply to him since it’s a new body and she should be able to bring him back. 

Now for the Becs and Terezi and that should be it.

The Becs just killed Dave and placed Jade on her quest bed. Both of them are dead and are not coming back without some help.So being loyal dogs, they’re either going to wait for Jade to revive on her bed (which we all know she won’t) or they’ll go out looking for a way to save her, possibly seek out Aranea since she was the cause of all this. Aranea is currently in Condy’s vice-grip so they’re going to have a brawl with them which ends in probably aranea dying, Condy dying, both of them dying, or neither of them dying and the Becs get killed. So there’s that.

As for Terezi, let’s face is, she had the absolute FUCK beaten out of her by Gamzee and then she stabs herself through the heart via Aranea. Honestly not looking too good for our little cockblock. Granted, she’ll probably watch shit go down or she’ll accidentally get caught in a crossfire and actually die and then be revived later on through one of my previously stated methods or one that I didn’t cover. 

Now I know you’re all freaking out. But you have to understand that this is not the end of Homestuck. Hussie has stated that there was this update, another one in November (which is probably another flash), and then “I will let you all know after that what my regular update schedule is going to be.” This is not the end, there is still more, there is still so much more so have hope that this is not the end of the line for our fallen 10/25/14 characters.

This has been a PSA from your local Homestuck.

anonymous asked:

We are young alpha kids?

okay I wasn’t sure what was meant to be happening here so I plotted a sad lyricstuck to We Are Young by fun. on the fly

I’m not drawing this but here I guess

(btw though I still have a grammar grudge against this song for “so if by the time the bar closes and you feel like falling down”)

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Stay With Me

Dirk and Jake have a one night stand. Waking up early on a bright Sunday morning, sunlight streaking through the windows because Jake will be a dead man before he ever closes his blinds to the sun.

But Jake’s asleep now. And Dirk is awake.

Oh, lost, confused Dirk burrowing his face into the pillow trying to rub the groggy sleep and senseless notions of love out of his mind. And he just stays still there. Breathing into the cold, white cotton as if he can get lost in it. If he tries hard enough it’s almost like he’s another person. That this is his home. That the man laying beside him is his lover.

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anonymous asked:

I have a question for your Au. How do each of them deal with finals stress? Does Karkat turn into a crab and hide under a rock? Does Dave rap out his study guides? does Jake and Dirk cuddle to avoid studying/while they study?

/Well, this isn’t something I’d have the time to draw something out for at the moment, but seeing that many of us are in the midst of finals right now, I’ll go ahead and try to answer with some of my headcanons. Lol.

  • Karkat would probably start on his final projects early, forget about them until the last week, and then haul ass to get them finished before deadlines. I imagine he’s the guy that goes up to the school the night before to sleep under the desk while his files are rendering on the school computer, then he just wakes up right when class starts, turns it in, and goes home to pass out.
  • Dave is probably the guy that everyone thinks is going to be behind, cause he’s always screwing around, and he never does his work in class, and he never spends time at home studying, but then he shows up on the final day and basically just kills it. Like, he never had to worry in the first place. Meanwhile, everyone hates him because they’re all breaking their backs over studying and rendering and putting presentations together, that they never get time to screw around like he does. Lol.
  • I imagine Dirk and Jake actually have to spend time apart to get shit done, because they’ll get annoyed by one another if they’re stressed, or they’ll keep distracting each other from getting anything done. Dirk probably studies at Dave’s during finals, and only comes home to shower and sleep. Lol. Jake probably tries to partner up with Jane, because she’s very motivational, and he’s easily distracted. Lol.
  • Tavros is probably the most sensible out of the group. He studies as much as he can, with flash cards and everything. He get’s plenty of sleep, and finishes all of his projects and presentations the week before they’re due. Probably because he get’s pretty anxious about presenting or actually taking the finals, that he wants to be as prepared as possible, to kind of relieve that stress.
  • Gamzee wouldn’t be taking finals. And if he were, he’d be doing the absolute bare minimum, and only RIGHT before it’s all due. If he fails, oh well, at least he tried!
  • Aradia is the one that tells herself she’s going to pace herself, so she doesn’t freak herself out over it, but in the end, all that means is she tells herself she has plenty of time, over and over, until it’s the night before, and she pulls and all-nighter to catch up.

Those are all of the ones I’m thinking of right now. Good luck with your finals, guys! I’ll be done with mine on Friday, so I know how you all feel! We can do this!<3