and they share their experience and i am personally very thankful for all the videos

Becoming Queer

When I was 8 I was obsessed with Disney’s Aladdin. Not just the original movie, but both of it’s poorly made sequels too. I watched them everyday after school while I drew pictures in our basement TV room, simultaneously fixated on their adventures and creating my own on paper.

I remember being absolutely in awe of how handsome Aladdin was, but also of the beauty of Princess Jasmine. They were the most attractive people I could ever imagine existing.

When I was 10 my mom gave me an American Girl book all about puberty and the female body. I only read through the whole thing once, but I left it close to my bed because of the one page I looked at nearly everyday.

It was one of the sections of the book on bodily changes throughout puberty– body hair, periods, etc. At the bottom of was a picture of several girls in front of a mirror, completely naked, to illustrate the different sizes and shapes of breasts. I was absolutely fascinated by these girls: the soft curves of their hips, their round and full breasts, the way their thighs came together. Despite their cartoonish nature, this was the closest I’d come to seeing a grown girl’s body. It was foreign and beautiful to me.

Somehow, I knew this wasn’t normal, so I always hid the book after I was done in case mom asked why I still had it.

When I was 12 I found my self distracted in classroom discussion circles looking at girls chests and lips and thighs. Every time I caught myself I’d immediately look down at my lap and blush. I’d learned by now that it wasn’t normal for girls to look at other girls like that, what it meant to be gay. But I’d eventually find my eyes wandering again, my thoughts focused on how beautiful one of my female classmates was.

I remember walking down the hallway one day mentally reciting “you can’t be a lesbian, you like boys… every girl must look at each other like this.”

When I was 13 one of the girls that I clung to during PE (because they were just as repulsed by physical exertion as I was) told us she was bisexual. This was the first time I’d been told someone could be attracted to boys and girls at the same time. It was confusing and enlightening at the same time.

I remember she put her arms around my shoulders once, during badminton week, her face inches from mine. It made me nervous, but in a way that I’d never felt before. My stomach had dropped, and I didn’t know why. It wasn’t like the fear I’d felt from scary movies and my dad yelling at me, but it wasn’t quite like when I felt exhilarated from riding a rollercoaster or binging on sugar with my friends… it was something in between, and entirely new.

I’d told my mom about it and she immediately wanted to call the principal and make sure the girl didn’t touch me like that again. That scared me, her reacting like that. I started acting repulsed by the girl afterwards, telling my friends she had flirted with me even though I wasn’t entirely sure she had, how weird it was and how weird she was.

Looking back, I probably wish that she had been flirting with me.

When I was 14 I was acquainted with the first queer couple I’d ever met. They were in theatre with me, and I’d been wanting them to start dating for months. At this point I’d stopped acting weirded out by gay people and claiming that bisexual people were “selfish and should just pick a side already.” I openly showed my support for gay people, citing my theatre friends of examples of how “normal” they could be.

I walked in on the couple in the dressing room one rehearsal, shocked to see them making out. I stood in the doorway a moment, then walked out without either of them seeing me.

I thought about their kiss for the whole day, wondering how their relationship worked, what it was like to date someone of the same gender as you. I was dating a boy at the time, my first boyfriend and the one that would create fear and an inability to trust for my entire high school career when he started abusing me. I wondered if this couple’s relationship could be anything like ours.

When I was 15 I joined Tumblr. I’d just moved from Michigan to Alabama, had my heart broken by my abusive boyfriend furthering the pain he was inflicting by cheating on me, and was just beginning to realize that I had an eating disorder with no idea how to feel about it or whether or not I wanted it to go away.Tumblr became a place for me to escape all this into “fandoms” and “fitblrs” and personal posts from strangers I didn’t know but whose lives intrigued me. It was on Tumblr that I first encountered the word “pansexual.” I was 16.

I was intrigued and slightly obsessed with the concept of it, pansexuality. I’d only just begun to learn about transgender and heard rumors of other genders outside of men and women, and being attracted to all of them or being “genderblind” seemed impossible, but incredible. I spent months randomly researching sexual orientation and transgender people before finally adopting the term as my own.

Though, it was only in my head that I claimed pansexuality as my own. I didn’t want to tell anyone… not because I was ashamed so much, I’d forgotten that stigma several years ago, but more because I was afraid that I only wanted to be pansexual, not that I actually was.

After all, if only ever been in relationships with boys at that point. How could I know if I was actually attracted to other genders if I’d never dated them?

When I was 17 I got my first crush on a girl. I didn’t recognize that that was my motive at the time, but I was constantly staring at her in the two classes we shared, payed special attention when she spoke, and the day she announced that she had a Tumblr I made it my goal to be a part of her life.

By winter we were best friends. By summer I’d begun to realize the extent of my feelings for her. The first time I got drunk at 19 I blurted out that I thought about making out with her all the time. I told her how I felt at 20, 3 years of pining later.

She told me she didn’t feel the same.

When I was 18 and in my first year of college, I binge watched all of Laci Green’s videos on YouTube, deciding that it was time I figured out how my body and how sex worked. Through her I found not only the courage to masturbate for the first time, but my first confrontation with “third genders.”

I obsessively studied nonbinary genders, claiming to just be interested in them, giving speeches and presentations on them for class, messaging nonbinary people to ask about their experiences. I came to accept that I identified with this term the summer of my sophomore year of college.

When I was 18 I also came out to my dad. I’d already come out to my close friends, sisters, and mother at this point– all giving me generally positive responses. This was not the case with my dad.

We were fighting in the kitchen, something that had become a regular thing since I’d started expressing my feminist and liberal beliefs. He was making homophobic comments and I guess I must of have been very clearly upset by this, because he asked, “do you have a problem with that?”

To which I responded, “Yeah, because I like girls, dad!”

My outburst led to two and a half years of him telling me that my identity was fake, a scheme to get attention, that all I believed was a result of my being brainwashed at college and my own self delusion. The full force my panic, bipolar disorder, and depression came out during this time. The first time I thought of killing myself was when he threatened to kick me out and cut me off from my sisters if I didn’t stop with this “feminazi LGBT bullshit.”

When I was 19 I started dating one of my best friend from high school– a boy, but pansexual like myself, I felt like this was the first queer relationship I’d been in.

He told me he didn’t want a monogamous relationship, that he identified as polyamorous– which I knew because this was one of the reasons his last relationships hadn’t worked out. Thinking I wouldn’t fall as desperately in love with him as I did, I agreed to an open relationship.

Two months into the relationship and much research and self reflection later, I’d come to accept that I was also polyamorous and I never wanted a monogamous relationship again.

When I was 20 a girl on Tumblr reblogged a set of selfies that I’d posted, exclaiming in the tags about how handsome I was. I took one look at her blog, saw the profile picture of her staring directly at the camera with intense blue eyes and an expression impossible to read, and immediately followed and messaged her my thanks.

We started messaging frequently, talking about such expansive and random things, things I’d never talked about with anyone. Soon we were messaging everyday and I began to realize how hard I was falling. I wanted her, I wanted her so badly.

I hadn’t had a crush on a girl that’d worked out in my favor and I was constantly pining for a girlfriend. I loved my boyfriend, I was still attracted to men and non-feminine genders, but I felt not only “too straight” to be queer at that point, but also like I was missing some sort of affection in my life that only a feminine partner could fill. And I was beginning to wonder if this girl was the person who could finally end my wanting.

The only problem with this girl was that she lived an ocean away from me, in Denmark to be specific. But my feelings became so strong that I couldn’t just be silent anymore: I told her I liked her.

She said she felt the same.

Today, March 2nd, 2017, Hayley Kiyoko released the music video for her single “Sleepover.” It wrecked me.

Hayley has become someone that I not only admire, but someone who makes me feel so validated in who I am. A mixed, Japanese American, queer girl in love with art and comfy clothing. Before Hayley, I’d never felt like there was anyone in the media who was even remotely like me. With great music and a connection I’d never felt in any other celebrity before, I became an avid fan. So naturally, when the video for “Sleepover” was released it only took me minutes to find it on YouTube and watch.

The music video was so much more than I could have anticipated, actualizing all my experiences as a queer feminine person, admiring from a far, living in my head with my fantasies and no hope of ever being able to experience them in reality. With this video I was thrown back into all the years I spent confused and afraid of how I felt and who I was, all the girls I wanted to be with but knew they couldn’t work out, or didn’t work out even when I tried. And as melancholy as these thoughts were at first, it pushed me to the realization:

I love who I’ve become. I love that I’m queer.

And despite how grueling the process of it all has been, I wouldn’t trade all that heartache for a normal life if I could. I wouldn’t give it all up to be the straight girl with no struggles or worries about who she loved as I once believed I would. Even with the pain that it had brought, becoming queer has made me the person I am today.

And I love that person, even if there are still rough edges to be smoothed, I am finally unafraid of who I am.

anonymous asked:

Holy shit I love your analysis' of Jimin and Namjoon!! Would you mind doing one for Jungkook as well? I know a lot of people were confused as to why Namjoon put him in Ravenclaw over Gryffindor/Slytherin.

Hello~

It’s really weird for me that you guys actually care about and value my opinions  on this whole business so thank you so much for giving my ramblings the time of day omg

for those who are wondering about my thoughts on gryffindor!namjoon and slytherin!jimin here’s the links to those:

Namjoon as a Gryffindor || Jimin as a Slytherin


So like, I really. really. really. love the idea of Ravenclaw Jeon. (But listen… I used to be a hardcore Slytherin!Jeon person okay, so I understand your feels on this. I do.) 

 here goes nothing

Ravenclaw Jungkook confused a lot of people. And I really get it because Ravenclaw was so fucking shafted in the books. 

We had so many Gryffindors and Slytherins to relate to, and we had a fair share of badass Hufflepuffs (TONKS) to base our opinions off of. But there were only a few Ravenclaws that were given the time of day in the books, and only one of those was a major character. We had Luna, Trelawney, Lockehart, and Cho. Cho’s amazing character was wasted by JK – she was written with the personality of a dish rag and didn’t really get the spotlight she deserved. Trelawney was presented as a crazy old lady who sometimes ?? served a purpose. Lockehart was an idiot. All we really had was Luna.

But it wasn’t just the characters. Ravenclaw has a really weird reputation. Before I wrote this, I asked a bunch of my casual and hardcore HP fan friends to tell me the characteristics they associated with each house. And I got pretty much what I expected:

  • Gryffindor: Leaders, brave, courageous, brash, strong
  • Slytherin: Cunning, resourceful, calculating, perfectionists
  • Hufflepuff: Loyal, kind, hard-working, determination, cheerful
  • Ravenclaw: Smart…?? they are… smart people?? They do things…….smartly……

Like for real. Whenever I asked people what traits they associated with Ravenclaw, all anyone was ever able to tell me was that Ravenclaws were supposedly smart. And that’s got a lot to do with the fact that when the sorting hat sings off about all the houses, it lists all these great traits for the other houses, but when it comes to Ravenclaw it says this:

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you’ve a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind.

And then the books go on to say that Ravenclaws are,

characterised by their wit, intelligence, and wisdom.

So maybe you’re like me, and I am REALLY guilty of this, but when I first read this in the books I kinda just thought these all meant the same thing. So maybe that’s where we got this idea that all Ravenclaws are good for are being smart.

But it wasn’t until I looked up the actual definition of each word that I realized these were all saying really different things:

Intelligence - the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.
Wit - a natural aptitude for using words and ideas in a quick and inventive way to create humor.
Wisdom - the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment; the quality of being wise.

^^^^this is just webster dictionary definitions here. The bolded words are the ones I want to focus on.

Skill. See – Ravenclaws are supposedly smart. But this doesn’t always have to mean BOOKSMART, and I think that’s where we had a lot of trouble with Jeon. No one is saying he is dumb or anything, but he’s no Namjoon.

Notable examples of this trait include Lockehart, who was pretty shitty at a lot of things, but had the street smarts enough to pass off his big whole scam for years and years, and was especially gifted in certain charms.

Then there’s Luna, who while shown to be really good at solving riddles, was also portrayed as really physically skilled. In Dumbledore’s Army, while being taught how to conjure a Patronus by Harry, Luna was the first to get it right. She was fourteen at the time, and was such a skilled witch that she was able to perform an incredibly difficult charm - that even adults had trouble with - after like…….mere minutes of teaching.

Does this sound like someone you know?? I’ll give you an example: Observe this VERY determined Hufflepuff not give up on his dreams and finally have all his hard work pay off… only for someone to come in and get it right almost instantly.

Or maybe… “Hey guys, this dance move you made up looks pretty cool – mind if I watch you do it like once and a half and then nail it instantly?”

And if you’re ever in doubt about just how skilled Jungkook is… remember that he turned down seven other agencies to join BigHit. That’s how many people were after him and recognized his talent. (This also ties in to my thoughts on the part about good judgement – Jungkook obviously saw a lot of potential in Namjoon and BigHit in general, so much so that he turned down tons of other companies to be there. He saw something a lot of other people did not… and it ended up being the best decision he ever made.)

But I think another really telling aspect of Jungkook’s Ravenclaw personality is that he isn’t always perfect at everything. He’s not always good at something right away – but that won’t stop him working really hard to get good

In Rookie King he was shown to be at the most pretty average at bowling. He wasn’t terrible, but he was about as good as you and I would be after playing a few rounds with a little luck. Well, Golden Maknae Jungkook could not stand to not be the best at something, so he mentions sometime later (13:10) that he’s hired a coach to teach him how to bowl…. and then just a few months later uploads a video of himself getting a strike like it’s no god damn big deal at all. And he looks pretty proud of himself too.

But all the major Ravenclaws were also shown time and time and time again as being a little…. scatterbrained. Luna, Lockehart, and Trelawney especially, and to an extent even Cho. And Jungkook is no exception. He’s… pretty gullible. And DEFINITELY scatterbrained.

But wit, intelligence, and wisdom are not the only three traits associated with Ravenclaw. There are a lot of other traits you may not really know about, because again – Ravenclaws were woefully under-represented in the series. There’s quite a few others listed for this house:

  • Creative
  • Individuality
  • Eccentric
  • Quirky
  • Jealousy/Envy
  • Competitive

So imma just go down the list because I’m really tired and I can’t made good word things rn

Creative

it’s no secret that Jungkook is a pretty talented artist. He’s a pretty damn good photographer too. (This will always be one of my favorite photos ever of Jimin – and Jungkook took it.) And he’s a talented lyricist as well. He’s an extremely good dancer and has a beautiful voice too – but you guys know this already.

Individuality

Take a look at how he expresses his individuality through his song covers.

Eccentric & Quirky

You guys thought the fact that Lockehart, Trelawney, and even heckin Luna were all in the same house was a coincidence? Ravenclaws are NOTORIOUS for being Extra™ . I’m not kidding! This is literally a personality trait of Ravenclaws that we overlook so often from these weirdos. And Jeon fuckin Jungkook invented the word eccentric:


you’d be here forever if i kept going so… you get the point. eccentric is jungkook’s middle name.

Jealousy/Envy

Jeonlous exists in this god forsaken fandom, and I ain’t gonna link it and open THAT can of worms, but if you’re feeling so inclined and care to enter the seventh circle of hell, feel free to look it up… but tread carefully.

Competitive

When I got the first ask about Ravenclaw Kook I had woken up at 3am and sleepily looked at my emails. I saw the ask and immediately had to jot down my ideas to keep for the next day, and all I managed to write in my sleep stupor was this

and then i promptly fell back asleep.

I was referring to this, and if you don’t feel bad for poor Jin in this situation I don’t know what to tell you. Jungkook is intensely competitive, even over small things like board games. He was so intent on winning that game that he literally assaulted someone five years his senior to sabotage them.

And then this is him trying to win a dance-off… doing the most, as usual.

And also?? He was literally banned from the gym because he was getting too buff. And look at him take out that guy in wrestling… and then demolish poor Jimin, the smallest member of BTS in arm wrestling when he could have… you know… let him win or something……

It’s a pretty well known meme within the fandom that Jungkook is competitive and always trying to outdo the others.



But when it comes down to it, Ravenclaws are still known for being smart, right? We can take all these other traits and apply them to Jeon but what about his brain?

He’s actually kinda smart. He is able to cover a song in perfect English even though he doesn’t speak the language all that well (but well enough to constantly correct others’ English and he’s good enough to tell you he’s really not all that interested in participating in English Time anyways)

And I mean…. he can outsmart the other members pretty well…………..


But I think one of the most important things to note about Jungkook being in Ravenclaw is to look at who sorted him, Namjoon: Namjoon himself gave Jungkook the nickname “Golden Maknae”. He is constantly saying that Jungkook can do anything, or watch this Jungkook can do this, or wow look at him go, or he’s so talented this and that. Is it really any surprise that Namjoon would put Jungkook in to a house known for being highly skilled when he believes no less of the kid?

Jungkook has some pretty Slytherin-like qualities – but tons of canon HP characters and the BTS members themselves have traits that are shared by all four houses. It’s just a matter of where he fits best.

I mean TL;DR, Jeon says it best himself:

gif credit: bwiskook

on the may 15th fansign, mental health, darkness, and hope

on May 15, 2015, during 화양연화 Pt. 1 I went to BTS’ fansign at Sinchon and had a conversation with Namjoon that I, at the time, chose not to reveal for personal reasons. at that time, because of that decision, there were a lot of people who criticized me—people accused me of saying something mean to him, accused me of hiding some secret relationship between us, called me a slut, etc. I didn’t say anything about it at the time because it seemed pointless, but now that 화양연화 has come to an end for real, and following the release of YOU NEVER WALK ALONE—plus, the upcoming 2 year anniversary of this extremely fateful conversation (lol)—I have decided to write about it, if only to explain a little of why I feel such a connection to the concept and so people will understand why I kept it private for so long.

I just want to go ahead and give people some warning: it’s not only a post about BTS. it’s a post about my life, and it contains a lot of sensitive material, like self-harm, suicidal ideation, and drug use. please bear that in mind if you decide to read it, I don’t want anyone to be upset by that content.

Keep reading

[MAGAZINE INTERVIEW] 170418 JINWOO & SEUNGYOON for CECI May Issue

Another long hiatus that lasted 1 year and 2 months, reorganization from 5 members to 4. Upon its release, WINNER’s third mini album, “FATE NUMBER FOR” wiped out all doubt that surrounded them and recorded first place on the iTunes Charts in 21 different countries. Even now, two weeks since the release, “REALLY REALLY” refuses to drop from the top of the digital charts. We met with the two people who are at the center of all this talk, Kang Seungyoon and Kim Jinwoo of WINNER. We will suppress the urge to share all the details about how they were deeply natural with each other and how the melodies they hummed together matched so well. That is because it is unnecessary to talk about how WINNER is strong like they always have been and the fact that they still have much to show us.

I saw you two at a restaurant the other day. It was the day after the release of your album and the music videos for “FOOL” and “REALLY REALLY”.

JINWOO

Really?

SEUNGYOON

Oh, that was the day we went to eat nasigoreng and pasta!

It was fascinating. Your songs swept the charts and your music videos recorded ten million views in a day but you guys were eating lunch as if it was just another ordinary day. How did you feel?

JINWOO

The amount of attention and love we received for our debut album was unusual for a rookie group. We experienced many different things after that and after a long hiatus, we’re receiving so much love with our comeback so the greatest feeling we have right now is gratefulness.

SEUNGYOON

Oh, could you wait a second? Song Mino just video-called me saying that he wants to be interviewed with us. Hello? Hello? Oh, I can’t hear him well so I’ll hang up.

(Laughing) Is it really Mino?

SEUNGYOON

I just hung up (laughing) Like Jinwoo-hyung said, we received a lot of love with “Empty”, which was in our first album. Personally, I think I tried not to have much expectations for this album (FATENUMBERFOR). I put in the effort not to get excited even when our song got first place on the charts because it might drop soon after.

But even after 2 weeks have passed, it is still at the top of the charts. Is that satisfying?

JINWOO

It is very satisfying.

SEUNGYOON

I am a little satisfied? We were in a situation where we had to prove to people that it was possible for us to overcome the unfortunate things that happened to us and I think that’s been proven to some extent. Also, how it does on charts isn’t very important to me. I’m satisfied that our fans are liking our music.

You talked about which song you liked better in your V LIVE, right? I like “REALLY REALLY” a little more than “FOOL”.

JINWOO

Seungyoon made that.

Seungyoon took part in writing lyrics and composing the songs, right? And Jinwoo shouldered more weight as a vocalist. How did you feel when you listened to the songs for the first time?

JINWOO

Seungyoon usually sings the guide. He knows the color of our group and the vocal tones of the members so he makes songs that suit those things. Seungyoon took a large part in bringing a song that matches my voice well. I practiced and thought about how I should sing it but it feels like I didn’t need to prepare something more than my usual singing voice.

(Laughs) Aren’t you being too thankful to Seungyoon?

SEUNGYOON

I think the reason why “REALLY REALLY” is doing well is because all the members shine in it. For a group to get known by many people and to receive love, it is important for one member to really pull in the attention but the whole group getting shown is also important. I felt that this song could spotlight Jinwoo-hyung so I purposely put a lot of emphasis on Jinwoo-hyung’s parts. When someone thinks, “This person’s voice is pretty good,” then they can comfortably listen to the song while enjoying that vocalist.

Thanks to the start of the song, Jinwoo has also been called the “Where Are You Man” so it seems like what Seungyoon wanted is coming true.

SEUNGYOON

I’m personally very happy because Jinwoo-hyung’s voice tone and singing method and his other styles balance the song.

“REALLY REALLY” is a feel-good love song because it is really honest. Have you ever taken the step forward to honestly confess your feelings like the song?

JINWOO

I did have a time when I was innocent.

Do you think honestly confessing to someone would be difficult now?

JINWOO

No, I think I’ll always be like that…

SEUNGYOON

I didn’t write my experiences into the song. I just wanted to write the feelings I felt when I was very young. In a vague context. If you look at the lyrics, it doesn’t sound like a love story between adults. It has the vibes of a middle school student in a shoujou manga saying, “Where are you? I came because I missed you so come outside.” I purposely did not include the words, “I love you” in the lyrics. It’s not about loving someone, it’s about liking them.

Because you didn’t use strong words, it became a more lighthearted and innocent love song.

SEUNGYOON

It is also my style. I’m straightforward on a daily basis but when I’m confessing my feelings to someone, instead of saying, “I love you”, I say, “I like you” like a tsundere.

So it’s something like, “I love… I love… No, I like you”. On the other hand, “FOOL” is a breakup song. Excluding dating, what is the most regretful thing you have done?

SEUNGYOON

Hmm. You can say that we were at fault for our long hiatus after releasing our second album, “EXIT:E”. That is regretful to me. When I think about our fans who waited for such a long time, I become more regretful about that. I feel like I should’ve worked harder to do something. When I think about it now, I might’ve been blinded by the overwhelming response we got with our first album.

JINWOO

I regret small things. For example, if I had worked harder and studied a foreign language or learned how to play an instrument when we debuted, I would be really good at it now. I regret how I started learning how to play the drums but that has fizzled out now.

You learned the drums? Why?

JINWOO

There were no special reasons at first. But while I was learning it, I relieved stressed with it and my sense of rhythm improved too.

Talking about instruments reminds me about Seungyoon’s guitar. You were always with your guitar when you were on “Superstar K2”. What about now?

SEUNGYOON

I always have my guitars in my room but it’s been awhile since I properly played them. There is a preconceived notion that playing the guitar means that the person does rock or acoustic music. Because of that, I felt that WINNER’s music was getting discolored by me. It’s possible for people to think, “Kang Seungyoon probably does this kind of music. He plays the guitar so he probably can’t do that kind of music.” I wanted to avoid those kinds of obstacles when I’m promoting as WINNER. It is not like I didn’t practice at all but in the past year, I haven’t purposely used my guitar.

There are many people who look forward to your solo activities. Is the music you are working on right now going to influence solo activities?

SEUNGYOON

I think there will be some influence to an extent. Acoustic and rock music will not be completely gone. That type of music is one of the fields I can do. However, once WINNER solidifies as a group more, if I receive the opportunity for a solo album, I have an indefinite wish to title it, “Everything You Want” and include hip-hop, jazz, ballad, rock, and dance songs. I want to make an album that contains all kinds of music so that I can enjoy it, as the person making it, and so that people who listen to my album can enjoy it too.

Both of you are members who act. Jinwoo, do you have plans for any solo or acting activities in the future?

JINWOO

Hmm. Firstly, I’m still scared about challenging myself in releasing a solo song. I lack the certainty in knowing what song or style that will suit me best. I do think about continuing my acting. Since I started it, I want to properly work hard in it.

You made an unprecedented decision to perform in the Korea National Contemporary Dance Production of “The Little Prince” last December.

JINWOO

I really wanted to challenge myself in a new experience. When I was spending my days working out, taking lessons, practicing, and wanting to do something other than those things, I received a very good offer. I thought to myself that I needed to work really hard for it. The Seoul Arts Center stage is not a stage where even modern dancers perform on often. I also received a lot of stress because I was worried that I would be told “he’s like an idol”.

You two are part of a company that is known to make the most “hip” content in Korea. There are sub-labels of YG that produce subculture content too. Is there something you find interesting in the mainstream right now?

SEUNGYOON

DPR LIVE. I think he’s cool because he makes his own music, performs alone, produces videos alone, and just makes everything by himself. I also get inspired by what he makes.

JINWOO

I like DPR LIVE too and contemporary dance is fun too. It’s very liberating. I’m not saying this because I was in “The Little Prince”… (Laughing)

There are many WINNER songs that deal with loneliness and empty feelings. It is a universal emotion but are there times when you are more lonely because you are celebrities?

JINWOO & SEUNGYOON

Yes, very often.

JINWOO

It can’t be helped because there are always limitations on what people do every day and where people can go.

SEUNGYOON

I think celebrities are a little different from people who are recognized by others. We are aware that we are people who are recognized by other people, not celebrities. It’s not just about not keeping ourselves from drinking excessively or having harmless hobbies, we can’t easily do anything. In this context, we ended up growing apart from [non-celebrity] friends and the people who we can meet gradually become limited. It’s not like Jinwoo-hyung and I don’t contact our childhood friends at all but because we can’t meet each other comfortably like in the past, it feels like our surroundings are being compressed.

JINWOO

Once that happens, you naturally end up being alone most of the time. Even if I meet someone, it’s usually my members.

On top of that, both of your hometowns are far from Seoul. Jinwoo is from Imjado Island in Sinan and Seungyoon is from Busan. Do you guys like Seoul?

SEUNGYOON

We really love Seoul! There’s so many things to do here.

(Laughs) That’s a relief.

SEUNGYOON

There are many things to do but there’s not many things we can do. But I like shopping and I can do that to my heart’s content. Most of the friends I’ve met while working are in Seoul anyways so I’ve become comfortable with this city. It’s like my home.

JINWOO

There are really not many people on Imjado Island. I like Seoul because there are so many people. But I don’t like how there are many cars too.

You’ve been to many cities [in and out of Korea]. Is there a city you want to live in?

SEUNGYOON

We went to LA recently. Seunghoon-hyung says he wants to live in LA because the weather is nice and it’s relaxing. But if I were to choose between LA and New York, I would live in New York. For now, I like being in a busy place. I feel like if I live in a relaxing place, I would get depression. I think that’s because I don’t have a peace of mind yet.

JINWOO

I want to live in Sokcho. Unlike my hometown which is in the west coast of Korea, the east coast of Korea has really blue seas. When I saw it for the first time, I was really surprised. I thought I was overseas! I want to live in Korea while looking at a clean ocean. I don’t really like busy cities.

Your choice makes sense.

SEUNGYOON

But I still like Seoul best. New York is nice but Seoul is better.

JINWOO

That’s right. I like being in Korea the best.

I’m going to ask a heartwarming question. What are you to each other?

SEUNGYOON

You go first because you’re the hyung.

JINWOO

Hmm… I’ve been with Seungyoon for a long time. I’ve received a lot from Seungyoon but I’ve never directly thanked him before.

Then can you two say thank you to each other while looking into each other’s eyes?

SEUNGYOON

(Laughing)

JINWOO

Thank you, Seungyoon, really! I want to tell my other members thank you too. Hmm. I’m really thankful for them.

SEUNGYOON

I’m also thankful. I get lonely easily and even though we’ll probably live separately in a few years, I feel safe that my family lives with me. Jinwoo-hyung is more special to me because we’ve been together for the longest time.

JINWOO

When I look at Seungyoon, I feel really proud.

SEUNGYOON

Hyung raised me like a parent. When I joined YG, he took care of me a lot.

When Seungyoon joined YG as a trainee, he was already pretty famous but Jinwoo didn’t feel burdened by him?

JINWOO

I thought he would act like he’s all that but he wasn’t like that at all. Almost to the point where I found it fascinating.

SEUNGYOON

I really started from the bottom~

You two are more heartwarming than I expected. It’s a beautiful sight

JINWOO & SEUNGYOON

Thank you!

Translated by @chrissy96_

Scans by @goduandme5     

You’re a Thick Girl and You Get Teased While You’re in Public // Seventeen Reaction

Requested: Yes

Can you do reaction for Seventeen dating a thick girl (like big butt & boobs & plump arms & mid-section type thick girl, if you get my drift because some people just don’t understand the term thick) and they get teased in public. Much appreciated :)

Author’s Note: Thank you for requesting and I would like to apologize for taking so long with writing it. I hope it’s what you wanted and if not I’m sorry! Feel free to request some more! I’m out of school, so I am free to write more often. Thank you! Hope you like it. Enjoy! 

Also, I will be visiting this tomorrow to fix any mistakes even though I have edited it multiple time. 

Seungcheol:

Originally posted by caramelgyu

Seungcheol has been very busy with their recent comeback. Currently, he is practicing with the boys, but later on tonight he promised that the two of us would go out to dinner since we barely have any time alone due to his busy schedule. He would be home in about an hour or so, so I decided that I should start getting ready. I was so consumed with doing my makeup and picking out an outfit that I didn’t notice that Seungcheol was already home until he was knocking on the door frame. “Hey, babe. You ready?” I nodded, “Yep, just in time.” We left the apartment and we soon arrived at the restaurant. We were seated quickly and my eyes began to scan the menu. The waitress came over to take our order. Upon receiving Seungcheol’s order, she turned to me and looked me up and down. “I believe all you need is water and maybe a salad.” I was appalled, but Seungcheol came to my rescue. “I believe she can have whatever she wants and she does not need you to tell her what she can and cannot have to eat.” After the waitress left, Seungcheol was quick to reassure me and tell me that I was beautiful. He was a total sweetheart and made sure to keep my mind off the rude waitress for the rest of the night.

Jeonghan:

Originally posted by visual-17

The boys were invited to an award ceremony and since our relationship has been public for a while Jeonghan was allowed to invite me to go with him and the boys. I rode with the them, but stayed with their manager who headed inside while the boys walked the carpet. I knew it wouldn’t be long until they would be done and I told Jeonghan that I would meet them at their table. Before heading to meet up with them, I decided to go touch up my makeup before the show started. I was in the bathroom fixing my dress and making sure my makeup was not smudged. There was a group of girls chatting behind me, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I left and the girls continued to follow me. “That dress is cute, but she ruins it with her chubby body. It would look so much cuter on me,” whispered one of the girls, but unfortunately, I heard it loud and clear. “She should have worn a dress that covered her big arms.” My confidence vanished and I scurried back to the boys with a frown on my face. “Babe, what’s the matter?” questioned a worried Jeonghan. “Do you think I should have worn a different dress? One that covered more of my body?” His eyebrows furrowed together as he took my hands in his slightly larger ones. “What made you suddenly question your dress choice? You loved the way it looked on you the other day and before we left.” Shrugging my shoulders, I avoided eye contact with him. “I don’t know. I just overheard some girls saying it didn’t suit me and it would look better on them.” His voice changed and his eyes darkened. “Aish, don’t listen to them. You look perfect and I don’t know how I’m going to be able to keep my hands off of you all night,” A blush quickly washed over my cheeks. “Plus, girls put others down when they’re lacking confidence in themselves, so don’t let them ruin yours.”   

Joshua:

Originally posted by soohuis

I am originally from LA like Joshua, but I never met his family before. So, I flew to America with the boys when they went to film the music video for ‘Don’t Wanna Cry’ just so he could finally introduce me to his parents. The boys were going to explore LA while Joshua and I went shopping. I wanted to go shopping because I wanted to get something nice that wasn’t too fancy, but wasn’t something that I would wear everyday. Also, I wanted to wear something that would impress his parents. “Y/N, my parents aren’t going to like you or dislike you because of what you wear.” Joshua said as I drug him into another store. “Hush, Joshua,” My eyes skimmed the racks of dresses until I found a beautiful black spaghetti strap dress. “I’m going to try this on!” I shouted as I headed towards the dressing room. I slipped on the dress and it fell to my mid-thigh and hugged my body perfectly. I walked out to show Joshua, “What do you think? Do you think your parents will like it?” He opened his mouth to respond, but a voice that was higher pitched than his responded. “I don’t think you want to impress his parents in that dress. It doesn’t fit your body type,” I turned around to look at her. “It shows off the plumpness of your body. Kind of revolting if you asked me.” I was speechless, but Joshua didn’t want to start a fight, so he dismissed her and he gently pulled me around to face him. “The dress looks perfect on you and it hugs your body perfectly,” He cupped my face, “My parents will be blown away by your beauty,” Silently, he kissed my lips carefully, “I know I am.”

Jun:

Originally posted by mkayy-wenjunhoe1777

I was hanging out with my friends and we decided to go out to eat together. Unfortunately, I could probably say that we are not truly friends, more like acquaintances, which explains why they had no problem telling me that I was eating too much and that I was already thick enough. After hearing that, I stopped eating because every bite I took made my stomach twist and turn almost making me vomit. We split our ways and I headed back to the dorm to hang out with Jun and the boys. Later on that night, Mingyu cooked dinner for the boys and he offered me some. “Oh! No thank you.” I smiled slightly while holding up my hands in front of me to stop him from handing me a plate full of his delicious cooking. Jun stopped eating, “What’s wrong? Are you sick? You never pass up Mingyu’s cooking,” He picked up a spoonful of the food off of his plate. “Here, have some of mine.” Once again, I denied the food that Jun was trying to get me to eat. “No, I really don’t want anything to eat.” Shoving the spoon back in my face, “At least have a bite.” As much as I love Jun, my blood began to boil because he was so persistent. With my lips sealed tight he tried once again, but I was pissed at this point because all I could think about was my ‘friends’ comments from earlier. I stood up with so much force it caused my chair to screech across the floor. “Jun! Stop it! Does it look like I need anything else to eat!? I don’t need to gain anymore weight.” I whispered at the end. The boys looked at me with mouths agape and eyes full of shock. Jun was surprised from my sudden outburst and I couldn’t stop the tears of embarrassment from leaking from my eyes. I walked out of the kitchen with Jun following me like a lost puppy asking why I was suddenly so upset about my body. Walking into his shared room, I turned towards him and looked at him with blurry vision, “My friends were commenting on the amount of food I have been eating and how I would become too big if I ate any more than I already did.” A frown consumed his face as he wrapped his arms around me. Rubbing my back comfortably, he told me how perfect he thought my body was and how I needed new friends. “They aren’t your real friends if they talk about you like that. Just get rid of them if all they’re going to do is bring you down instead of encouraging you to be your best or reassure you that you’re perfect just the way you are.” I nodded, “I’m so happy to have you and the boys too because you guys are true friends and you know how to make me feel better.” I kissed him passionately and he soon pulled me back to the kitchen. “Now, let’s go enjoy some good food with real friends.”

Hoshi:

Originally posted by lerxpoe

We all know that Hoshi is an amazing dancer. Dancing is his life and it helps him express himself in ways that he never could before. That’s why he took it upon himself to teach me some moves, so we could have something else to bond over. So, here we were in the dance studio with Hoshi showing me moves while I try to execute them. Unfortunately, there were other dancers in the practice room with us, so I felt quite embarrassed since I am not a professional dancer like the rest of them. Even though I could somewhat execute the moves, they did not look the best and the other dancers could tell, but everyone except one person decided not to say anything. “Maybe if you lost some weight, then you would move more fluently and one day you might be a decent dancer.” Hoshi’s face and my face burned bright red, but for different reasons. While my body filled with embarrassment, Hoshi’s filled with anger. “We’re just doing this for fun and her weight or body type has nothing to do with how well she dances. She has very little experience with dancing and she doesn’t dance for hours on end like us, so she’s obviously not a professional. The more she practices the better she’ll get, but for now I don’t want any of you commenting on her weight or how well she dances,” he demanded as he grabbed my hand and drug me out of the room. “Don’t listen to them. The more we practice together the better we’ll get. Plus, it’s just for fun.” Hoshi said reassuringly.

Wonwoo:

Originally posted by vernons-laugh-is-my-aesthetic

I first met Wonwoo when I started working at Pledis and that was about two years ago. We began dating after a year of knowing each other. I love my job because even though Wonwoo and the boys are very busy, I am able to see him and spend time with him everyday. Today the boys have a fanmeet and my job is to help make sure the line keeps running smoothly. The fan meet has been going on for a while and I noticed that the boys were slowing running out of water, so I decided to get them some more. There was a pack of water at the bottom of the stairs. I began to gather as many bottles that I could and as I started to leave a fan stopped me. “ Can you either pull your shirt up or buy clothes that fit you.” Other fans around her laughed. “That shirt is a little too small for you chubby body.” I quickly left and didn’t say anything to them, but as I got on the stage and started to distribute the water I knew Wonwoo heard everything since he asked if I was okay. “Don’t let their comments get to your head. They’re young and don’t know how to respect someone because they have a different body type.” I smiled and reassured him it was fine because I could tell he was upset that his fans treated me the way they did, but I was also thankful he checked on me to make sure I was okay.

Woozi:

Originally posted by mushimish

We have been dating for a long time now and we decided not long ago that we would go public with out relationship. Lots of fans were supporting of our relationship, but unfortunately, there were a handful of fans that disliked me and made it their job to try to bring me down. Tonight the boys had a concert and Woozi invited me to come watch. It was about time for the boys to go on, so I bid the boys farewell and wished them luck before I left. The concert was great, but there was a group of girls that kept eyeing me and trying to talk discreetly about me. I tried not to let them ruin the mood, especially since I finally got to see the boys perform for the first time in forever. After the show was over, I went to head back stage, but I was stopped by the same group of girls that sat near me during the concert. “Hey, don’t you think Woozi oppa deserves better than you?” said one of the girls who blocked my path towards the backstage. They didn’t give me a chance to respond before one of the others started talking. “He deserves to have someone healthy and not so chubby like you.” I was shocked that someone would say that to my face. I was used to reading that kind of stuff on the internet, but it was different to hear it being said to your face. I began to stutter because I didn’t know what to say. A familiar voice erupted from behind the group of girls, “Hey! Why are you being so mean to her!?” He was angry. “I’m so tired of everyone mistreating Y/N and commenting about her weight,” Woozi grabbed my hand and began to pull me towards backstage. “She is healthy and beautiful. If anything, it’s me who doesn’t deserve her.” He pulled me towards their room and I could almost see the steam coming out of his ears. “Thanks, Woozi.” I said as I kissed his cheek and caressed his arm that was holding my hand.

DK:

Originally posted by 12fools

The boys had a couple days off, so they were quick to decide that we were going to spend them at the beach. Before we left the dorm, I went to the bathroom and threw on my two piece bathing suit, then I slipped my t-shirt back on. We arrived at the beach and the boys mostly scattered to do their own thing, like playing in the water or tanning or even playing a game of volleyball on shore. I decided that I was going to tan while Dokyeom went to play with some of the boys. I stripped my white t-shirt off and stretched my towel out on the sand. I laid down and while I was tanning I watched the boys enjoy their time off. A smile was consuming my face, but soon a frown replaced it. “Hey fatty! Cover up or move please. I don’t want to see that.” said a girl who could pass for a model. I suddenly felt self conscious and sat up and started to pull my shirt over myself to hid my curvy body, but before I could finish Dokyeom appeared next to me and stopped me. He turned to face the girl who was discriminating my weight “Hey! If you don’t want to look at my beautiful girlfriend, then feel free to move somewhere else along the beach,” He grabbed my hand, “She’s not moving just so she could please you.” Once the girl left, I cupped his cheek and lightly kissed him on the lips. “Thank you, Dokyeom.” He flashed me a smile, “No problem, Y/N.”

Mingyu:

Originally posted by mvpgyu

My eyes scanned over the many food products that occupied our shopping cart. “I think that’s all we need,” As I was checking over my grocery list that was a mile long, I realized that I was missing something and that something was chocolate. “Shoot! I need to get some chocolate. You know, for that time of the month.” I giggled, “Okay. I’ll start checking out while you run and get that.” Mingyu said as he headed towards the checkout line. Swiftly, I found the isle that held all the chocolate and other sweet stuff. My eyes wondered over all the chocolate and I couldn’t make up my mind what kind I wanted. “Honey, you don’t need anymore chocolate.” came an unknown voice from behind me. I turned around and my eyes fell upon a middle aged woman. “Excuse me?” “I’m just saying it wouldn’t hurt for you to lay off on the chocolate. All that sweet stuff goes straight to your butt and thighs and yours are big enough.” I didn’t know what to say or how to react, so I quickly turned on my heel and left the isle without any chocolate in my hand made a beeline straight towards Mingyu checking out. I decided to help him load the bagged groceries back into the cart, so we could get out of the store as soon as possible. “Babe, did you not find any chocolate that you wanted?” I cut my eyes at him warning him to not say anything else while we were in the store. As soon as we stepped foot out into the parking lot Mingyu grabbed my hand to stop me from walking ahead of him towards the car. “Babe, what’s wrong? Why didn’t you get any chocolate just now?” I didn’t respond, so he tried to joke in order to lighten the mood. “You should have gotten some now, so I didn’t have to come back when it’s that time of the month at 2 in the morning because you’re craving something sweet.” I was upset. Not because of his comment, but because of the elders ‘advice’ she gave me. “Well, you don’t have to worry about that. I don’t care if I’m craving it or not. I don’t need anymore sweet stuff.” “What makes you say that?” Sighing, I finally looked him in the eyes, “An older lady stopped me and said I didn’t need anymore and it would all just go to my ass and thighs, then she proceeded to tell me that they were already big enough.” Shaking his head, “Nonsense,” He turned on his feet and headed towards the store. “I’ll be back!” he hollered over his shoulder. Confusion filled my body, “Mingyu! Where are you going?” It was too late, he already disappeared into the store, so I started to load the groceries into the car. Once that was done I climbed into the car and waited for him to return. The door open and a few bags of chocolates were soon laying in my lap. “Here,” he said before kissing one of my cheeks while caressing the other. “Don’t listen to that crazy old lady. I love your thick thighs and don’t let anyone tell you what you can and can’t eat because they don’t like your body type.” He shoved the keys into the ignition and started the car. Grabbing my hand, he started to drive back to the dorm, “You’re beautiful and I don’t want you to change because someone is being rude and can’t keep their mouth shut.”  

Minghao:

Originally posted by mvnghaos

Currently, it was one of the hottest days of the summer and fortunately, the boys had the day off. So, the two of us decided to hang out in the blazing hot sun. Soon, we realized that it was possibly one of our worst ideas. I wiped a few beads of sweat from my forehead and attempted to fan myself with my shirt that clung to my body. “Minghao, it’s so hot. Why did we think this was a good idea?” I questioned. “I don’t know, but that may help us cool off.” He said as he pointed down the street. His slim finger was pointing to an ice cream shop that wasn’t far down the street. My eyes lit up. “Come on, Minghao!” I shouted as I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the shop. A bell ringed and echoed through the shop as we opened the door. The air conditioning slapped me in the face and it felt so good. We reached the counter and a teenage boy asked us what we wanted to order. Minghao order his ice cream first and then the boy turned towards me and asked me for my order. “Um, I will just have a waffle cone vanilla ice cream with an extra scoop.” Nodding his head, he left to fetch our order. He soon arrived back and handed us our ice cream, which I quickly noticed that I had just one scoop. “Excuse me, I asked for an extra scoop.” The waiter looked at my body in disgust. “Trust me, I’m doing you a favor. You don’t need it because it will just go to your ass and thighs and they’re already big enough.” Minghao was quick to react and I could tell he was pissed. “Excuse me, but you do not have the right to comment on someone’s weight nor do you not have the right to not give them their correct order because you think they don’t need it.” He stepped closer to the boy, but I tried to stop him. “Minghao, it’s okay. I don’t-” He stood in front of me protectively and cut me off, “Now, I suggest you go get her what she asked for before I contact your manager.” The boy scurried off, afraid of my boyfriend. “Thanks, Minghao.” “No, problem. Don’t let what he said get to your head. You beautiful and you can eat whatever you want.” I nodded my head proud to call him my boyfriend.

Seungkwan:

Originally posted by winningwinwin

Seungkwan and I were spending the day in the city. It was hot, so I was wearing a loose t-shirt and some shorts. The shorts were quite short, but they weren’t any shorter compared to the shorts that others were wearing. We were walking down the street deciding what to do. “Why don’t we go into some clothing stores to see what they have?” Seungkwan questioned. I opened my mouth to respond with a voice full of excitement, but someone beat me to it. “While you’re in there, you might want to buy her a pair of shorts that covers her big ass.” The excitement drained from my body after the rude man’s words sunk into my brain. “Excuse me?” I could instantly tell that Seungkwan was pissed. “Why do you think it’s okay to make rude comments about someone’s body? Huh?” He took a step towards the rude man, “I know what it’s like to have someone comment about my weight and bring me down because of my body, so don’t even dare make comments like that ever again, especially when you’re talking about my girlfriend.” He grabbed my hand and began to lead me away towards the store. “C’mon, I don’t want you to be around him anymore and listening to his bullshit,” Wrapping my arm around his bicep and laying my head on his shoulder, I thanked him for sticking up for me. “No need to thank me. I know how it feels to have people think differently about your body and I don’t want you to have to deal with that, especially since you’re so beautiful and you don’t deserve those harsh words.”

Vernon:

Originally posted by wonnhao

Vernon and I have been together for quite a while, but before that we were best friends and he introduced me to his family long before we started dating. Sophia and I clicked instantly and we are literally best friends. With Vernon’s busy schedule I could say that Sophia and I hang out more often than me and him. Right now me and Sophia were at the mall shopping. My eyes scanned the shelf looking at clothes and I picked up a beautiful top and showed a little more skin than usual. I held it up to my body and turned to show Sophia. “Hey, what do you think about this?” Before she could respond, a girl that was scanning the shelf spoke quickly. “You might want to get a size or two bigger because no one wants to see your plump stomach.” I blushed feverishly and put the shirt back on the rack. Sophia tried to convince me to get the shirt, but I refused and we soon left. We later got back to her house and Vernon was there to pick me up. “Hey, let’s head back to the dorm.” I hugged Sophia and bid her farewell, “I’ll talk to you later, Sophia.” I felt more insecure about my body on the way home and I was distracted from what Vernon was saying. He seemed to notice my gloomy mood. “Hey Y/N, Sophia told me what happened today,” He grabbed my hand and gently caressed it. “Don’t worry about what others think about you. You’re so beautiful and you can wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing. As long as it makes you happy, then you should be able to show some skin no matter what others think.” I smiled upon hearing his sweet words and squeezed his hand. “Thank you, Vernon. I love that you always know what to say in order to cheer me up.” 

Dino:

Originally posted by squishteen

Chan and I just graduated high school, so we were celebrating while going out to the nearest carnival just to have fun. I decided to wear a sundress that showed my plump arms and legs. I used to be insecure about my body type, but Chan managed to get me to see the beauty in my body. We were walking around and playing random games and riding random rides just to entertain ourselves. We hopped on one ride and we were squished up next to each other. There were two girls on the same ride sitting across from the two of us and one decided to make a snide comment. “You know, it wouldn’t be such a tight squeeze if you weren’t so chubby.” After hearing that comment, I could feel my insecurities about my weight rush back. Chan decided not to start a fight and didn’t say anything since the ride started, but he swung his arm around my shoulder and began to comfort me while whispering in my ear, “Don’t listen to them. I love you and your body, so please don’t think about your insecurities or about changing anything.” I nodded my head and let her comment fade to the back of my mind because I just wanted to enjoy my time with Chan.

-Miranda

I owe the life I live today to fandom. It’s a bit complicated.

I am an artist in her late twenties, working as an illustrator full time (meaning somehow I actually convinced people to pay me for drawing all day). I own a decently sized flat in a big city and while I struggle with mental health issues, I am coping and getting better. I get to see the world and work with international teams and have close friends I can count on. And that’s all because I was brave enough as a teen to post some fanwork on the internet.

Let me explain myself some more. 

Keep reading

ClexaCon 2017

My personal experience of ClexaCon started on the very first day it was announced on 13th May 2016. That same day Sofia sent me a DM that was basically ‘Soooo see you in Vegas in a year?’ 

We had no idea what it would be, but the mere thought that there would be an event to celebrate Lexa and what she represents along with other fans was exciting as fuck, especially after all the sadness. I’m pretty sure we then talked to Elke about how she has to go as well and this was the entire point of her turning 21 – so she could be of age in Vegas.

We were then so so so fortunate to be asked pretty early on to come on as panelists, which cemented the fact that yes, we would indeed be going to ClexaCon.

There were months of nothing, months of drama, and months of squealing excitement. And with every new announcement, every new detail no matter how small, we talked about it. ClexaCon was the constant thread running through our conversations. Excited to meet each other, to meet other fans, to hear the important discussions that will be going on – so even though there were some hesitations and bumps in the road, it never took away from knowing that this would be an important event we had to attend.

Finally after 10 months of hype, we found ourselves meeting up at the airport ready to go to Bally’s. I met Rachel first, who is tiny but mighty and incredibly easy to talk with. Sofia then sent a message that her plane had landed and before I knew it I heard a ‘Rin?’ and she popped up behind me. I remember thinking that she was shorter than I thought she would be. There was a longer wait for Elke and Liv, so we sat around and snacked for a bit until they said they were collecting their baggage. We went to meet them and it was the funniest thing because we kidded that we should just look for someone tall and then we saw this really tall girl about 80m away so Sofia and I just waited as she walked towards us wondering if she would notice. Elke did a double take and that was it, we were united.

I can’t believe how quickly the weirdness of actually being face to face with you guys seemed to fade away, replaced with a feeling of familiarity as if we had known each other for years.

The Badge Party will be something I’ll never forget, especially the moment we walked in. That was my first moment of ‘oh shit what have we gotten ourselves into, what is happening right now?!’ but it was okay because I knew I wasn’t alone in feeling like a fish out of water. The party ended up being such an amazing introduction to the kind of vibe ClexaCon would be – an environment where everyone could truly be themselves without fear of judgement or discrimination.

Personally the biggest challenge I faced during the con was the hours before the Lexa’s Legacy panel. I felt sick with nerves, and I could only eat a few pieces of fruit that I stole from your breakfasts. The nerves only increased as we walked towards the hall and saw the number of people lining up. And when I was allowed in to see how big the room was, it was…intimidating to say the least.

I took this photo of the audience when the panel was just starting and when I looked closer I saw these two goofy proud parents towards the back.

LOL.

I don’t think I could have gotten through the nerves and anxiety of such a huge event as a whole without you guys. So whenever I think of ClexaCon, I’ll think of you two before I think of Sarah Shahi and Amy Acker. For me the event would have been nothing without the both of you there, you are my weird Canadian/Dutch family and I will always be grateful that we got to share (sometimes overshare) the experience together.

I am so lucky that so many friends I’ve met over the years through fandom were able to fly out to Vegas to attend as well, some of whom I’ve known for 8 years. It honestly felt like a big coming home party. And to all the new amazing people I met, thank you for being so kind, caring, and supportive. You truly made this a bizarre, yet very very special week. Also thank you to everyone who I shared a panel with, Alexia, April, Linnea, Tara, Jess, Adrienne, and Meg. Special shoutouts to my room buddies Rachel (GET OUT!) and the chair thieving Liv. Without you both, who would hold our bags????

Finally, as someone who spent most of their younger years being incredibly shy, up until the point where I never spoke until I was spoken to – ClexaCon felt like the way the world should feel. Inviting and freeing. I spent the whole event feeling like I could talk to anyone about anything and I would genuinely be accepted for who I am. So thank you ClexaCon for creating that space for me, and for everyone else who went. I could never repay the favour, but you’ve inspired me to damn well try.

ClexaCon 2018. See you there.

@damnlexa @shes-special

Top picture credit: Evan

10

Congratulations on 16 million subscribers everyone. :)
Try to celebrate and appreciate how good it is to be a part of this great community with this milestone, that’s what they’re about. 
I just wanted to say that before I get into what I’m going to do for this post. 

Screenshots from 16,000,000 SUBSCRIBERS!

@therealjacksepticeye

Seán, 

I’ve been sitting here for a while just trying to think of something to say but I think for this post I’m just gonna speak to you as honestly as I can with you since you talked about how much the community and all of this means to you in this video. I really fucking doubt you’ll see this post or have time to read it. So I apologize in advanced if this post becomes extremely long or just turns into something that doesn’t make sense because my emotions and brain are kind of all over the place. 

I haven’t felt great lately… Actually I’ve felt the complete opposite of great, I’ve felt awful. These last few days I’ve been in this “emotional crash” I guess you could say. Not that anything is really going wrong at the moment it’s just that my anxiety has been a real bitch to deal with lately and I just can’t get my brain to be in a good mindset. I’ve been extremely hard on myself over little things, I’ve been having terrible luck with everything and just have been getting extremely frustrated with myself lately. I’ve been having those moments where I question why I even bother trying for anything, I’ve just felt extremely pathetic and hopeless. :/ Which has really been killing my motivation for things and makes me isolate myself from people. These are low points I don’t talk about very often because I don’t want to just spread my negativity to people. But they happen and happen a lot more then you may think too. Why am I telling you and everyone else that could be reading this post this? Cause even when I have moments when I feel just so incredibly and overwhelmingly low, you give me and help me find hope and so much more too. Even on the days where I feel like my life is just never going to get any better, you make me feel like it will eventually. You make me feel like I can do anything that I set my mind to and that I have so many reasons to try. You constantly reassure me and help me see that I don’t hate myself or who I am. You help me realize that I’m making so much progress in my life even if it doesn’t feel like I am. I’m not pathetic, I’m just going through hard times that aren’t necessarily my fault and just struggling with mental health issues because of them. You make me want to try new things, make new experiences and broaden my horizons and show me that change isn’t always scary and that I have so many things in life to be happy about and appreciate. You help me find the strength and energy deep down inside myself that I need and that helps me move forward just live life and make it through another day. You help me make my life worth living every single day and constantly inspire me to be the best person that I can be. You do all this just by making me smile and laugh everyday and just being the loud positive insightful optimistic green haired potato that you are. I think that alone proves just how much even the tiniest bits of positivity matters. :) 
I’m sorry if me saying all of this is throwing a lot at you. I don’t want to put pressure on you at all it’s just that this is the 100% truth from me, I’m not over-exaggerating. Your positivity inspires my positivity so I try to spread that to other people because I think everyone deserves to enjoy themselves and life, be happy and comfortable in their own skin and with who they are. That’s one of the reasons I make posts everyday because you’ve given me so much and I want spread that positivity to some people in some way, shape or form. I try to give back because you’ve given me so much I guess is what I’m trying to say. I don’t know if I good job with this but I try my best to. :P

I’m so proud of you Seán, I’m proud to see the person that you’ve become. You’ve changed so much in these years that you’ve been doing Youtuber. You’ve grown and have become a better person even in the few years that I’ve known you. In the midst of enjoying yourself, sharing your passion and your desire to make people happy. Which you do by the way, and so much more too! You’ve connected with people, you have touched and impacted millions of lives every single day. That’s definitely something to be incredibly proud of dude! :D You constantly try to be the best person that you can be and you listen and are open to learning and changing your perspective on certain situations too because you care. All the people who watch your videos I know mean the absolute world to you, I saw the love that you have for them and for being a YouTuber in general too when I was waiting to meet you at Pax East last Year. You see the people who watch your content and even the viewers that hate you as actual people. Which is something I unfortunately can’t say about a lot of Youtubers. You don’t take anything that you have or what you’ve gained for granted. You’re a good person Seán and nothing you say will ever change my mind about that. >:) 
I’m so happy that you’re getting do and experience so many wonderful opportunities and that you’re letting yourself experience them too. I’m happy that you’re broadening your horizons and trying to do more! I know that you’re going to do so much in the future because you have such a unique and special spark within your soul to offer this world. I believe in you dude, I think you can do anything that you set your mind and heart to! ^_^
Thank you for everything that given me Seán in whole time I’ve known you. I don’t know who I’d be or where my life would be if it wasn’t for you. Thank you for being a good friend to me and to so many other people too. Thank you for seeing us all as valid individual people with voices and thoughts that matter and deserved to be listened to. But most of all, you’re welcome for everything this community has ever done for you too. 

I hope you have fun on your trip to LA and going to the D23 Expo dude! Congratulations on 16,000,000 subscribers. :)

-Vannessa

I Needed This

This is something I posted a month or two ago, but it was then pointed out that almost all of the links were broken…and at the same time, tumblr enacted their new restrictive linking policy. Meaning almost no one it was directed at actually saw it. I haven’t had the chance to correct the problem until now, and in that short time, the post referred to has climbed to over 14,000 notes. Like…what? Holy crap. Okay.

I wish I could sit down and reply to everyone who responded to the post, but at this point that’s just impossible. Just know, I do see the notes, and I’m grateful for every single one.

Below is the fixed post, as it was supposed to appear in April. If you’ve already read it, feel free to disregard this and scroll on by.

So…I’m gonna do one of my weird things. This isn’t really to do with FFVIII, but…I feel like I owe people this. Because I’ve been watching this silly little writing power build and build and snowball, and…it just seems…so counter to the situation of the people I seem to be reaching, that I can’t just let it sit there and rack up “points” in the form of notes without taking a moment (well, a few hours at this point, but I had the time, and this is what I decided to do with it) to at least acknowledge the response. I’ve received messages from people, a flood of kind comments and tags, I’ve watched people reach out to one another to support them in their writing endeavors. Most of it has been outside this fandom, so…I apologize ahead of time if this is somewhat off-topic.

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A VERY CRAPPY BUT EXCITED SHINEE WORLD V IN DALLAS FAN ACCOUNT

honestly i dont even really know how to begin this like??? i feel like i have so much to say it was just the best day of my Entire Ugly Life. im so honored i really am it was just the most beautiful experience ever nd also so funny lkafsfsa i can’t wait to share with you !! 

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6

I have done watching this Kosuke Asuma and Yuya Hirata from Kosuke Calender released event. I watched this two times already and thanks to @yumewomikatta that i can finally understand some part of the talks. Here are some of the fun talks that i would like to share:

1. Yuya said that Kosuke was so nervous but so excited before the event haha.

2. Kosuke said that recently he has been hanging out with Ino Hiroki (Haikyuu Sugawara cast stage actor) a lot and Yuya was like “eeh in what part from that fact which you can brag about it?”

3. Kosuke doesnt really like eating vegetables haha.

4. There is a challange where Kousuke had to make a drink with cheesecake flavor but the rule is Kousuke must not see the recipe at all. He just skimmed it and tried his best to remember. When he’s done making it, he shared the drink with yuya and two girls from audience. Kosuke said that the taste should be good lol. Yuya tasted the drink and made a face, he thought the taste was too sweet and he didnt seem to like it at all. But in the end, Yuya said it was okay and good but when Kosuke told him, “okay then, I’ll make you the drink next time”, Yuya immediately said “Please no, thank you very much” and Kosuke went “eeehh???” It was very funny.

6. When Kosuke was making a drink, Kosuke said his blood type is A, and Yuya went “who did ask you about your blood type?” Lmao

7. Yuya said that his current job as MC in zip TV needs him to wake up at 2 am almost everyday and Kosuke went “eeh you can wake that early?” And yuya replied, “of course, it’s a job after all” and yuya mentioned that Kosuke never watched his program in zip tv and kosuke defended by saying “it was too early in the morning I cant wake up” lol what a sleeping beauty 😂

6. Kosuke confessed that he is a good at cooking lol (then why did you fail making that cheesecake drink?)

8. Actually the event should have been ended after Kosuke has done making the drink but it was too fast so the EO said that kosuke and Yuya should start the event over again and just talk whatever they want lol

9. They went talking about their old days when they were still in haikyuu project together (when Yuya played as Iwachan). Yuya’s first impression on kosuke was that kosuke looks like a cold person but after talking to him, kosuke is a heartwarming person.

10. Kousuke said they used to walk home together after practice, passed by the game center and played ufo catch (or something like that), went to photobox and shot some pictures and took the same train and went for eating, Yuya seemed forgetting about eating part though lol. (ISTG arent they just iwaoi??)

11. Yuya said Kosuke came to his birthday event last year and gave him blue and orange trousers as a gift.

12. Yuya said that even after Kosuke got a lot of jobs and gains more popularity nowadays, that doesnt change his personality. He said sometimes there are people who change and become more mature when getting a lot of jobs but Kosuke is still being himself, a cheerful and excited kid and he likes that part. Kosuke responded it happily and said he will work harder in the future.

13. Kosuke knows that Yuya loves baseball so much and he showed Yuya and Audience a video of him playing around as a pitcher in his film set of his newest movie that will release soon. Yuya wants to watch the movie so much.

14. They talked about Yuya’s appearance in stage live action, Poisedon and Cheer Danshi. Yuya played as a pervert guy in Poisedon but took a nerd character in Cheer Danshi. Yuya told about his experience played in cheer danshi that he has to do acrobatic moves and jumped on trampoline. Kosuke wanted to watch it so bad but he couldnt make it so Yuya told him to buy the DVD released this May.

15. There was a voting and the result is by hearing the audience respond. They were asked if they like the event and if it has been fun so far and the audience applaused. When they were asked if the event felt lacking and so so, they didnt applause. The next question is if they agree that yuya should make his own channel, they applaused so loud that Kosuke felt like he had been betrayed by his own fans. Haha. The respond he got from the internet also suggested that Yuya should make his own channel and Kosuke laughed because it seemed like Yuya took the attention more lol.

16. Kosuke wanted to eat yakiniku but he had to earn at least 30 stars to make it happen, the audience seemed to like trolling and teasing Kosuke by not giving him any vote at all lol so the last hope was from Yuya’s vote. Yuya said he wont make it easy for Kosuke but in the end Yuya gave him a vote so he earned the stars and finally be able to eat yakiniku as the prize. Then Kosuke asked Yuya to eat Yakiniku with him and Yuya agreed. Kosuke was so excited that he wanted to eat it with yuya after the event but yuya went like “whatt? Now? After this?” haha Kosuke grinned and said “if it’s not today then maybe next time is alright”.

17. In the end of the event, Kosuke suggested that next time it’s Yuya’s turn to invite him as a guest in yuya’s event. Yuya just laughed.

They are just soo cute together that I cant help but giggled watching their interaction. Yuya seemed natural and talked a lot while Kousuke is like a cute awkward kid. But he looked so comfortable around Yuya. I hope I can see more of them together in the future.

ps. Dont ask me to link the video. I dont have a right to spread it around so I hope you understand. Thank you so much.

anonymous asked:

Jikook

  • Who is a night owl: Jungkook! He’d be playing games until very late at night… imagine Jimin calling him over to bed because he’s tired and wants to cuddle him, only the would Jungkook stop playing.
  • Who is a morning person: Jimin, he usually tried to teach Kook lessons on why you shouldn’t stay awake until four in the morning playing video games. He’d make a plan to date his half dead boyfriend at like 9 am. Jungkook thinks his boyfriend is half the devil
  • Are they cuddlers: YES. Because Jimin is small and needy and Jungkook is stupidly weak for him. Jimin just needs to rub his arms and whine a little and Jungkook would be all over him.
  • Who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon: Jungkook is the big spoon, he just… sigh, he’s so weak for smol Jimin and c’mon Jimin likes to be babied.
  • What is their favourite sleeping position
  • Who steals all the blankets: Jimin! Jungkook just lets him… until he’s cold and he has to take back the blankets making sure he’s careful enough to not wake up his boyfriend.
  • What they wear to bed: Jungkook wears his silly pajamas and Jimin wears not so silly ones but still oversized
  • Who likes seeing the other wearing their t-shirt: ???? Jungkook???? Obviously????? He puts his t-shirts on Jimin just to see him drown on them. Even if Jimin is muscly too it still comes off his shoulders and seeing him like that and with his hair a mess Jungkook understand he’s made a mistake but it’s like he best mistake he’s done in his life. 10/10 would do again.
  • Who falls asleep mid-conversation: Jungkook. He’s tired but he wants to talk to Jimin about his day anyways and wants to listen to his hyung but… he’s just had such a long day and he’s talking about how boring math class was and he… stops talking because he’s fallen asleep. Jimin of course finds it the funniest and cutest and of course he takes a selca with Jungkook sleeping with his mouth open and himself looking like the flawless angel he is.
  • Who wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares: Jimin. But like only when he’s had a looong tiring day. Not in the sense where he made tons of things but like when people was mean to him. A cassier snapping at him because he was slow on taking his money out, overhearing someone badmouthing him, messing up in dance practice, sliding and falling and people laughing at him… that kind of long day. So he’s stressed af but being with JK makes his day a little better and he doesn’t tell too much about the bad parts of it while the both of them are sharing their experiences, he thinks as long as he doesn’t think too much about it it’s just gonna fly off his mind. WRONG, HE BOTTLES IT UP AND COMES TO BITE HIM IN THE ASS AS NIGHTMARES. He breaks wen he wakes up and tells Jungkook everything (who’s also woken up because Jimin was moving around too much or talking on his sleep) and Jungkook is the biggest sweetheart in the world and tells his hyung just how wonderful he is and how a bad day doesn’t define him <3 And Jimin slowly lets himself relax in Jungkook’s embrace being grateful of the loving boyfriend he has<3
  • Who accidentally punched the other in their sleep: Jungkook and he nearly cries when he realizes he’s punched Jimin.
  • Who can’t keep their hands to themself: Jungkook. He tickles Jimin and kisses him everywhere on his face. AND TO BE HONEST, when they’re cuddling in bed and his hands are cold, Jimin likes to put his hands under Jungkook’s shirt and caress his back lightly. Jungkook spends his time holding back his shivers

Send me a ship and I will tell you…

WHY I LOVE BTS AND THE ARMY FANDOM SO MUCH

I’m still not over the historic night at the Billboard awards and everything that happened. It just really makes me proud and happy to be a fan of 7 talented amazing guys and be a part of this wonderful fandom. I never thought I would be such trash for any group or artists EVER. So since im feeling sentimental and ishh I thought I would make a long boring post about why I love BTS and ARMY.

I love their music and their music videos, the first song I heard of BTS was DOPE and then Fire came out and I was blown away, I still sing the Blood Sweat and Tears chorus. To me BTS came out with a hit after a hit after a hit. Like musically they keep surprising me. Even their album’s are amazing I don’t even know how many times I have repeated ‘The most Beautiful most of my life’ Album or the Wings album.

But there’s more to BTS, i love the fact that they are all talented and I like every single member in the group. Their other groups where maybe one or two members stand out a lot more or have more public recognition but I feel like every single members brings something amazing to the group and it wouldn’t be the same without one of them and for that I just want to thank Bang PD and whoever else was involved in choosing each of the members.

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Podcasts for your functions!

In honor of #trypod, here are the podcasts I listen to, semi-arbitrarily assigned to functions! But seriously check any of them out.

Also I tend to go for either surreal radio-show style fiction, or people just joking about dumb stuff.

Si: Sawbones. I recommended this for I think INTPs a while ago, but I think any Si users (…and non-Si users since ISTP sister is a fan) will appreciate it. It’s about all the ridiculous and sometimes horrifying things that people have done in the name of medicine, from trepanation to patent medicines. I’ve also appreciated the handful of more serious episodes: there was one about the hosts’ daughter’s birth, and more recently a few about immigration medical requirements and health insurance. But mostly it’s informative, historical, and funny.

Ne: Crossover Appeal. It’s a podcast about fandom, namely taking two things and mashing them up, but usually things that don’t usually get mashed up (read: no superwholock to be found). I don’t listen to every episode because I frequently find I’ve only read/watched one of the works, but I’ve loved the HP&HP (Harry Potter and Lovecraft) Halloween special, the Yay Hamlet Hamilton/Hamlet one, and the Orphan Black/Phryne Fisher episode for badass ladies. And the fact that it’s every other week and you can skip around probably works well for Ne users.

Ni: The Beef and Dairy Network. Deeply surreal, with that dark and dry humor that is often characteristic of Ni users. There’s a consistent underlying storyline/conspiracy, and a bit of political sarcasm in the mix, so I think that will also work for Ni users who appreciate the payoff of sticking with a serial story with an unusual format, that sometimes draws from reality but twists it.

Se: My Brother, My Brother, and Me. This one is pretty famous (Justin, the oldest brother, is also a Sawbones host and I found MBMBAM through Sawbones), and it’s characterized by a combination of terrible advice and weird riffing and tangents. I think Se users will particularly appreciate the combination of rapid-fire switches in the conversation along with concrete yet impractical suggestions and goofy humor.

Ti: Within the Wires or Alice Isn’t Dead. Both of these are Welcome to Nightvale shows, but with a smaller self-contained story that unfolds slowly, allowing you to try and deduce what will happen next (and probably often fail). I think they both fall well along the Ti-Fe spectrum, though honestly what do I know. Within the Wires in particular seems to be a good Ti-Fe show and is in my opinion the strongest (Orbiting Human Circus wasn’t my favorite though I did enjoy it overall).

Fe: This American Life. A classic, not only because it’s something people have been listening to forever and can all share, but also because of its dedication to telling the stories of every kind of person and finding the commonalities between these different stories. I don’t always listen to it (it’s a lot; also sometimes it will lead to you crying in your car and now that I don’t have a car I’d really rather not burst into tears on the subway) but I do love it and thank it for having this message of how we’re all the same on some level.

Fi: Pop Rocket. It’s about pop culture, and it’s a great hangout show - the hosts are a diverse group and are all close with each other. They focus on a single topic each episode usually but what impresses me is how great they are at letting each host talk about pop culture from their own perspective and relate it to their personal experience in a way that is effective and interesting.

Te: She’s Running. This is really new (only 2 episodes) and it’s interviews with women who are running for office at any level (city, state, federal) in the U.S. . It is not technically partisan though it’s obviously got a very pro-women message and the two interviewees so far are affiliated with the Democratic party. It has a message of getting out the vote for these candidates, but also provides some really great insight into the work involved in running a campaign, even a small one.

Are you being paid by WTNV and Max Fun?

No, I wish.

I’m looking for more/None of these are for me, but I’d love other podcast recs!

Thanks! Other recommendations include:

I figure since this is on Tumblr you’re all sick of Welcome to Nightvale but I do listen to it and enjoy it. It does have the drawback of being both serialized and pretty far into that serial - you’ll want to go back to the beginning and that will take a while. 

Speaking of - I never listened to season 2, but season 1 of Serial, about a young man jailed for his sometimes-girlfriend’s murder in the Baltimore area that might have been due to a combination of Islamophobia, the fragility of memory, and the fact that in the early 2000s, we didn’t really understand cell phones, was rightfully a hit. Listen if you like true crime or even if you don’t (I usually don’t).

I stopped listening to Aisha Tyler’s Girl on Guy regularly because I lost interest whenever the celebrity wasn’t someone I knew about and also because it’s really long and no longer worked well with my listening habits after I moved from a regular job-having car owner to a grad student who depends on NYC public transit and has an irregular schedule. However, Aisha Tyler is hilarious and a great, empathetic interviewer (I’m pretty sure she’s an ESTP with good Fe from the impression I have) and I recommend it if you’re into more long-form interview style listening. 

I also stopped listening to Professor Blastoff which features Tig Notaro,  Kyle Dunnigan and David Huntsberger. A large portion of that is because I found Kyle Dunnigan kind of annoying (which is mostly a clash of senses of humor I think - don’t take my word for this since it’s definitely a personal taste thing). It’s also really long (usually about 90 minutes if I recall correctly) so it similarly doesn’t work that well with my listening, but if you do a lot of driving or can listen to podcasts while you work, check it out! I did listen for some time, especially around when Tig Notaro was just out of her year of terrible things and getting a lot of fame for that. It ended in mid-2015 due to scheduling conflicts, but there’s a big archive if you’re just looking for something to listen to that isn’t strictly up to date.

I mostly listen to comedy, pop-culture, and story/fiction podcasts because I am a very visual learner so any more technical/educational podcasts tend to not work for me - I spend the whole time wishing I was just reading an article or watching a video. However, if you’re more an auditory learner, I did enjoy Freakonomics - I just felt like I forgot everything immediately and would rather reread the book. There are some great resources online specifically for finding educational podcasts so if that’s your interest, have at it!

When You Take Me There

Genre: fluff af. like actual cotton candy i swear

Word Count: 1.2k

Summary: A very in-depth confession of love from Phil to Dan based on and inspired by the song ‘Durban Skies’ by Bastille. (Written in Phil’s POV)

Warnings: tiny mention of alcohol?? slight suggestion of sex? idk it is definitely 100% SFW

a/n: this is the first ever actual good thing i’ve written in my life I hope it’s enjoyable and ik the punctuation is probably horrendous but idk who needs rules of the english language lmao. hope u all enjoy (also if you find any typos or anything pls lmk as it’s currently 4:30am and i’m like half asleep)

~

You are all that I’ve got to be thankful for.

Well, technically there’s a lot of things I’m thankful for. But nothing as important as you.

You. Dan Howell. The love of my life. My hopes, dreams, aspirations; my everything.

I know I want to be with you forever.

Our love incomparable, our souls inseparable. Nothing could ever break our bond, our hearts perfectly entangled together, like our fingertips on a dreaded, rainy, mid-Sunday taxi drive to the grocery store. Like our legs on a lazy Tuesday as we swear at each other playing Mario Kart. Like our bodies the first time we met, both of us shaking with nervousness and sweating like dogs. I am in love with you.

You outweigh any form of negativity I have ever come across.

You are all I need. One look at you- a glance into your beautiful, dark coffee-stained eyes, and I am at peace with all in my life. All that isn’t you, anyways. I am always at peace with you.

You are my entire life, and always have been.

I fondly remember the beginning. Vivid memories of carelessness and the feeling of newly found love. The long train rides you took to close the gap between us. All the thoughtless walks around Manchester, the cheesy coffee and cinema dates, as well as the angsty nights at my house when I secretly gave you alcohol after promising my parents I wouldn’t- and getting a bit drunk. Sometimes too drunk perhaps, which led to some out of hand things. I don’t even want to know what we did, as all I remember is one time waking up to you asleep naked on my family’s dining room table. They luckily weren’t home that week. You cried over how bad you felt, and I cheered you up by ordering Indian food and wrapping us both up on the couch in a blanket as we watched our favorite childhood cartoons. You are really something else, and I couldn’t ask for any better.

Back then I could only imagine what we would experience together.

I had no idea we, as a duo, would become at all known to the world. I didn’t think about all the lives we would change and all the places we’d go and all the amazing friends we would make. All I knew for sure was that I wanted you in my arms till the day I’d die, and to this day that is still all I live by.

I am so thankful to have you next to me in my life.

Moving to London was a major risk for us. We went through some difficult hardships career-wise, but deep down I knew it would work out. Anything can work out as long as I’m with you. Our love can conquer any and all obstacles.

I understand how you work.

Your thought process, your creative sources, how your mind works. I can tell how you feel at anytime, in any situation. Parties, events, when you’re stressing about what to do for the next scene in a video. I know that the only way you can sleep most nights is if I softly play with your fingers, and if the comforter is tucked in between your knees because you hate when your bare legs are touching under the blanket as it’s too warm and it makes you feel gross. I know you better than anyone else.

You make me feel like I can live forever.

Nothing matters when our bodies are pressed together like the waves and the shore on a humid, sunny day at dusk. You know that feeling you get when you finally fit the last piece into a puzzle you’ve been working on for weeks? That feeling of completion and relief, the satisfaction and pleasure your body experiences fitting that puzzle piece perfectly into it’s place and seeing the whole picture? That’s how I feel laying next to you. When I cover your rosy face in gentle kisses every morning and when our arms embrace every time we see each other after being apart. Maybe not exactly like that, actually. Multiply that feeling by about… infinity. The way you make me feel is simply indescribable.

You’ve made me view things from a whole new perspective.

I think back to when we first walked through town together and our hair wouldn’t stop going nuts in the wind and I kept complaining and got frustrated. Your hands reached down to mine and held on just tight enough and everything was instantly calm in my mind. You taught me how to be the best person I can be and told me everything I needed to hear and more. I am forever grateful for your impact on my life.

You are the only person I want to spend my life with.

I personally don’t think weddings are the most important part of a relationship, but I know how much you look forward to ours. I often imagine seeing your gravity-defying smile and glistening eyes of endearment as we exchange I do’s and an everlasting kiss to seal everything we’ve shared since way back when. Seeing you happy is what’s most important to me.

It’s a miracle this ever worked out and I am forever grateful.

The slightest of changes in one of our paths could’ve caused everything to be different. It’s insane to think that if I hadn’t bought that exact box of cereal that one day, I would’ve never experimented with the camera I won and started uploading to youtube when I did. Every single specific decision each of us made somehow lead to this and it’s honestly terrifying to think about how easily we could’ve never even acknowledged each other, and none of this would be happening right now. I have no words for how thankful I am that things happened the way they did.

I was always told that it wouldn’t work, but look at where we are now.

I was told not to trust you. That you were just some stranger. That you were too young and naïve, and that it wasn’t really love and that it was all just excitement. I hope they realize how wrong they were whenever they see our faces in magazines and our names in headlines. I hope they’re constantly reminded that we were different and that we made it. We made it together.

All those four am skype call sessions to the four am sunrises we’d watch from outside your family’s house to the four am netflix show binges in bed that became the only normality we know of today.

The countless amount of train rides to see each other, to the countless amount of plane rides to travel the world together. Everything is more beautiful when you’re by my side.

The hundreds of days and nights spent embraced in your arms and the hundreds and hundreds more I look forward to. You are my definition of warmth and my meaning of home and you are everything I could ever want and everything I don’t deserve and everything else that is good in the world.

You are the best person in the world. I love you so much, Dan, and I know I will love you as long as we both shall live. You complete me in every way, and you are all I’ve got to be thankful for. 

~

19daysfan  asked:

I don't want to anger you. I know it's 2017 already but will there be any continuation of the comic? I really love the series but I also care about you, the artist. If you wouldn't like to continue please let us know. - A recent reader who have became your fan.

Hi there, I want to let you know I’m not angry. Messages like this do not anger me. Anyone who is upset when people are asking - are you alive? Is this a thing still? are missing the point of these messages. I get you. I am grateful for you. You still care, like I still care. I really want to continue. I keep half-ass hashing this out all over the place so I’ll post this most complete explanation (that I can manage) and see if it helps.


I’m not a young person. Like, I am not in high school. I’m not in college. I am an adjunct professor teaching at college at a time in my life when I should have a nest egg and not like… this horror. My students literally murder the small buoyant heart of joy in me. I’ve been pretty depressed since my Dad died in 2008, I immediately lost my career in video games right after that so I had to move home to a job teaching where I am paid literally poverty level. Be kind to your adjuncts they do more for less for god knows why. I don’t know why. Anyway, the comic was started because I started to feel so scared that I was going to die before I ever made anything good. Or complete. Or just… Good. That sick upset tension boiled up in me and out came a comic that I really love that is a lot of effort to make look the way it looks. I don’t keep myself to a PERSONAL STYLE instead I want to craft the style to best match the story. My process is atrocious but I can’t imagine it looking any other way than it looks. I want to be able to pare it down but when I think about it I just… can’t. So time. Time is a thing. 


By the time I am done having any joy in art literally murdered out of me by my students and the administration, I have no ability to get much done. When I fell off the wagon really bad was around an anniversary of my Dad’s death and I’ve been having a lot of trouble getting back to a good state of mind. I don’t send letters to friends anymore. I don’t do much but keep my head above the proverbial water anymore. I think about how I need to get going on something or I’m going to die before I get anything accomplished. I don’t communicate my issues because I am very much someone who has always dealt with their own problems, etc. themselves because I learned at a very young age that sharing your woes means people discard you. That’s not some candy-ass cry for help that is just my experiences and why I am how I am now and why I am always so cagey when it comes to explaining why I am not getting pages done.


I love what I do. I put a lot of time and thought and effort into it. I am positive there are people out there who could do it in 1/100th the time on a schedule and get a page out twice weekly. I don’t have that situation. Even if I was 100% I am currently living my low-paid ass at home rent free working it off helping out around the house. I run errands, drive around, keep up with chores, etc. etc. My mom keeps breaking bones in her body. It’s upsetting. But really my support structure is me and I am just tapped out right now.


Teaching is literally the worst. I’m so saturated in apathy and people who would rather do ANYTHING to get out of doing what they are asked to do that it boggles my mind. Why take an elective if you’re not interested? I’m not going to just hand you and A because you signed up. None of this is y’all’s problem. It’s all my problem. And I am working on trying to get things better handled so I can get back to making pages. Drawing replies. DRAWING. FOR ME. NOT AS A DEMO. I AM going to get back to work on the comic. I WILL. Nobody may still be around when I do. But… I started this for me. I will always share it with all y’all. It’s just taking me a lot more time than I could have thought. But it is what it is…


Sorry if this is a bit much. This is why I keep a lid on it. But legit - thank you for caring enough to drop a note. And that goes out to every single person who has who I may not have even replied to. I hear you (read you!) and I appreciate y’all so much.

5

gmw band au album information + we are mad dogs (band picks)

t r i v i a // mad dogs’ first compilation album. released a year after their final tour and official break-up, the album serves as a surprise to fans for sticking with them and enjoying their music. the concept was pitched by zay before they left on their last world tour, and completed upon returning home. each band member selected the five tracks of all their songs that meant the most to them and then offered commentary / trivia in pre-tracks for a richer, more intriguing listening experience. it serves as the last “band chat” i.e., all the bandmates talking to the fans together through an album.

[ MAIN ] [ ZB ] [ DW ] [ FM ]

l u c a s ’ s  p i c k s  +  c o m m e n t a r y:

“choose you”mad dogs. lyrics by lucas friar and riley matthews.

LF: “So, this is … a little weird just because I feel like you all are probably wondering why we’re already on Mad Dogs and I haven’t like, spoken yet. So, first of all, hi, I guess. I hope you’re enjoying yourselves. Drink some water. They say you need eight cups a day. Anyway, the reason I haven’t shown up until now is because I didn’t pick any songs from Semi-Formal or Game Night. It’s not because I didn’t like those albums, and I certainly put out my fair share of effort on them considering how many songs I wrote for both. I just sort of felt like all those songs were kind of a different part of me, like a completely different phase of my life, so I don’t really feel as connected to them anymore as I do the later albums. I mean, I’m definitely proud of them, and the sheer volume that I wrote in such a short amount of time kind of speaks louder than words about where I was with my songwriting at that point. I can remember I cranked out about … three of the Game Night songs in one night. It was a really creative time, but it wasn’t as personal and free-spirited as our later albums. It wasn’t until Mad Dogs that I think we all felt like we were making music that we liked. I know Farkle felt that way, at least. [ Laughs ]. So, okay, I normally don’t talk all that much but I am just rambling and wasting so much time. Choose You. Okay. So I don’t think it surprises anybody that this is one of my top choices just considering how important it is to me as far as a milestone in my life. Things were kind of uncertain and off-kilter at this point when this song was being written, because we hadn’t decided if we were officially going to do another album or just bite the dust, and everything was kind of up in the air. Literally everything. And this was probably, if I’m remembering correctly, the first song that was completed for the new album. Because at that point, we’d decided we were going to do it. Things were turning around, in all aspects. And … of course, as you guys probably know, I wrote this with Riley. It was the first song we wrote together, and it wouldn’t exist if Maya, Farkle, and Zay didn’t force us together to work on it. We were at a weird place at that point and sort of avoiding one another because there was … confusion, let’s say. But they forced us together and in that process we were able to figure everything out and well, the song was born. And everything worked out for the best. And I think it goes without saying, those of you who are Maya Hart fans especially should know, but Riley is an amazing songwriter. She’s just amazing. Like honestly, everything good about this song, everything you love about it, it’s probably because of her. Just all of it. Listen to it, you’ll see what I mean.”

“nothing”flaws. lyrics by lucas friar and farkle minkus.

LF: “This was a tough one to write, and to be honest it’s probably going to be a tough one to talk about, too. To really get into it I first have to sort of paint a picture of the way the band was at this point in time, during the Flaws album production. I mean, the group of us was still solid, still going strong. There wasn’t really a time I can think of where we, the guys, were ever falling apart. Like even if everything else had gone to shit – oh, fuck, are we cursing on this? Oh, fuck. I mean – fuck! OKAY WAIT A MINUTE! [ Pause ]. Well, if I wasn’t supposed to do that I’m sure Zay will just bleep me out or whatever. Okay. Anyway. Even if everything else was going badly, the four of us were always there for one another and always strong, and I really feel like that’s the only reason we survived. I’m really grateful for these guys, I don’t think I could ever eloquently express that enough. So even though we were all okay as a unit, at the time that we were working on Flaws, everything else was just … I mean, just awful. Our interactions with fans had gotten strained, especially some of the more rowdy ones. The music was starting to weigh us down in a way it hadn’t before, and we were really fed up with the industry and the media and the continual hoops we kept having to jump through. Farkle was lashing out at reporters, critics weren’t digging whatever we put out, it really just felt like a no-win situation. And it sort of coincided with this build up of negative energy for both me and Farkle, we were both going through this thing where all of the anxiety and tension and stress of the last few years was catching up to us. Being in the media so often had really taken a toll on me mentally, it had gotten to the point where I couldn’t even look at pictures or video of myself without feeling disturbed. I was drumming a lot more late into the night, but not in a good, therapeutic way and more in a relentless, self-destructive way because I didn’t know how else to deal with it. I just felt terrible, all the time, and when Riley and Smackle both helped Farkle and I try to tackle it we realized that we were going through some of the same things. It was Farkle, really, who came up with the crux of the song and kind of encapsulated exactly what we were both feeling. It was this draining feeling of like … no matter how much we did, or who we managed to please, it would never really be enough. There would always be something else to prove. And even though we had all these fans and all this following and arguably successful careers, at our cores we still both just felt empty. We felt nothing. It was very much a mental health issue, and I’m glad to be able to talk about it now having gotten to a better place and figured out a way to handle it. And please, if you’re ever feeling that way, if you find yourself feeling like nothing, talk to someone who cares about you that you trust. Because you can find your way out of the rabbit hole, but you have to realize you’re trapped in it first. It’s worth it to claw your way out, I promise. Anyway, without further ado.”

“forget about her (i will never)”flaws. lyrics by lucas friar.

LF: “As I mentioned with Nothing, the album Flaws was a really tough era of time for us as a band. Farkle and I had our whole mental health jam, but another huge factor was how ridiculously strained our relationship with fans had become. Now before I lament over it for a few minutes here, I do wanna clarify that I, of course, am not referring to every Mad Dogs fan out there when I rehash this experience. It says a lot that for every negative encounter I had with an alleged fan, there are three or four great memories I can recount that make up for it. There are so many of you that are kind, and enthusiastic, and it’s you guys that we love sharing music with and sharing the experiences with. So thank you, to those fans and those of you who are probably listening to this album right now, loyal as you are. You guys are what make it worthwhile. But this other type of fan … it was a rough time. People were being intrusive, people were being rude – there’s something about a social media presence that gives you a faux sense of superiority. I mean, people on the internet are just vicious. It’s like the screen gives them 500 EXP and suddenly they’ve leveled up and they’re this God awful monster, but if they met us in person I’m sure they wouldn’t say half of the mean-spirited stuff they put out on the internet. Anyway, social media was bad at that point, and the press tended to echo whatever popular sentiment was being thrown around within the fan circles. Fandom. Fandom? That’s the term, right? In regards to this track in particular, a rather big tabloid had put out a short column on the band and our relationships. They had chosen to echo the then misguided, rude, but popular sentiment that I could do better than Riley. There was all sorts of weird stuff being said about our relationship: that she was just bouncing back and forth between band members, that I was secretly in love with Maya and shouldn’t drag her along, that I could simply do better because I had more star power and shouldn’t waste it. There was all of this advising going on about how I should handle my love life, and it was kind of like … who asked? When did I ask? And I remember I was angry enough to put out some harsh tweets on her behalf – rare, as I don’t really like using social media – but I was just so fed up with it. No one knew, or knows, how my relationship is with Riley except for me. No one has the authority to tell me, or any of the band for that matter, who we should or should not be with. Especially when they have no idea the impact that she’s had on me. That’s what spurred this song. Because everyone was telling me to drop her, to do better, to forget about her … and I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. Never. The sentiment hasn’t changed. I’d be hard pressed to find someone better than Riley Matthews. And I don’t have any intention of doing so any time soon.”

“coincidence”legacy. lyrics by lucas friar.

LF: “This was a super fun song to write and record, and it makes sense considering we’re well into Legacy now. Legacy was such a great album. We knew it was going to be the last one, and I think that colored a lot of the atmosphere in the studio. Things just worked out. The music jammed. We were all in good places. It was sad to think about the band coming to an end and not having these jam sessions every day, but it also was such a relief to think about the amount of freedom we were going to get in a few months. Like, we could leave Los Angeles for a while to travel, we could relax, we could kind of do whatever we wanted to do after we finished this one last thing. And we all also knew that no matter what happened with the capital-B band, we still had one another. That was never going to change. The song itself sort of has this upbeat, rock sound that was a lot like what we sounded like on Game Night, it was almost like an homage to that part of our careers. Very reflective, and it makes sense because Coincidence came out of me sort of reflecting upon everything that had happened in the last few years. We knew things were ending, and I was kind of having this whiplash in remembering how we’d gotten to where we were in the first place. Because for me, I can still vividly remember sitting in my garage while Zay sang covers, and encouraging him to follow his dream if he really wanted it. No matter how ridiculous I thought it was on the inside. Like, coming out here and starting a band seemed crazy – was crazy – but I knew if anyone on this Earth could pull it off, it would be Zay Babineaux. And when he asked me to go along with him, well, it felt a little bit like I didn’t deserve it considering I sort of found the whole notion insane, but I’m glad I went. I’m glad I came along. I have learned so much from this experience and these people, about myself and music and the world, that I would not trade this for anything. Despite all the bad and because of the good. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, so everything that I’ve experienced and gone through with the boys and Riley and you all, I don’t intend to forget about it any time soon. I’m always going to carry it with me. So, thank you.”

“faith in me (feat. riley matthews)”legacy. lyrics by lucas friar.

LF: “I’m going to try my very hardest not to ramble and not to be too sappy in this last one here, like I’m really going to try my best. I didn’t make it easy for myself with my song selection, but it’s whatever. So, Faith In Me. Obviously, this is a really special song for me, but I like to think it was for the rest of the band too. It was the first time we were featuring someone who wasn’t like, a known entity. Like, Maya Hart was a powerhouse in her own right as far as the music scene, and while Riley had written a ton of songs, she’d yet to sing on one. I don’t think she was entirely sold on the idea when I first pitched it to her, but she agreed because she knew how important the concept was to me and she’d read the lyrics so she knew where I was coming from and what the song was about. That, she never had any doubt about. So the band put in this very concerted effort to make the studio as comfortable as possible, keep it low pressure and good vibes, because Riley had hung out many times in-studio with us before but never had she been at the instruments herself. She was admittedly super nervous, despite how often she’d sang it around the apartment in the couple of weeks leading up to the production day. It was really cute, honestly, she’d sing it all the time – while working, in the shower, cleaning up after dinner – and she’d also kind of look to me for approval when she finished, because she always knew I was listening. And I never had any complaints, she does such a great job with it, but she was still very anxious when the actual day to record came around so I’m grateful to the guys for being so accommodating and calming. They’re her friends too, of course, so they knew how to handle the situation. So she did a couple of takes and it was great, I mean, every take was, but Zay could tell her nerves were holding her back and that we hadn’t reached the best version yet. After the fourth take, I sort of pulled her aside and asked her how she was feeling, you know, what could we do to make it more comfortable, etc. But Riley’s not one to complain even when she has every right, so it was hard to get a read on exactly how she was feeling. The only thing I figured I could offer was myself, me as a like, familiar presence so that’s what I told her. I told her if it helped, she should just forget about the rest of the studio and focus on me. Like we were hanging out at the apartment, like she was singing while cleaning up the dishes. And I don’t know if that worked or what but she did one more take, the fifth take, and it was perfect. And she looked at me the same way she did after every time she finished the song, that same look she’d throw me over her shoulder while working on her photo spreads, waiting for approval. I didn’t have any complaints. Zay told her she was going to put him out of a job. This song is my favorite not only because she was involved in the track and it’s all my favorite people coming together to create music, but also because the sentiment behind it is incredibly true. It’s that expression of relief on her face after I assure her that she sang it perfectly well – that knowledge that someone else out there believes in you, and so maybe you can believe in yourself, too.”

KAISOO 3.0

[1.0] [2.0]

((Disclaimer: I don’t claim my analysis as facts. It’s an analysis based on one pov. If you have something to say, please be constructive. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Thank you.))

Firstly, I’m still learning and forever will be. If you’re an expert in this area, do inform me if I mentioned a wrong fact. It helps me a lot honestly.

So, my prof told me that she believes in three things under the romantic gestures - eye contact, personal space, and grooming/preening. Skinship becomes common now that it hard to differentiate between romantic or just platonic unless there are different body languages apply. Especially in a country like SK, which skinship among men is pretty common. Even Hen ry once mentioned in Happy Together, the one thing that surprised him the most about SK is the frequent physical contact between men.

One thing I noticed about KD is how their bodies have this certain pulls between them which lead to today’s topic - gravitation (under personal space and eye contact). Some called it magnetic pull. Keep in mind that human behavioral is a big field of scope.

Anyway, according to google dictionary, gravitation means

  1. Movement, or a tendency to move, toward a center of attractive force, as in the falling of bodies to the earth
  2. Movement toward or attraction to something.

The part that bolded apply to body language.

Two person who is attracted to each other has the tendency to attract or gravitate towards each other, including the eyes, not just the body. It’s not a part of the conscious mind. It’s a part of the subconscious mind. The majority of the body languages are a part of the subconscious mind. That’s why they said our body is more honest than our mouth - actions speak louder than words indeed. There’s no lie in that. Because those actions are not filtered. It’s directly transmitted from your brain to your body then movements. It’s like responding to stimuli when the signal is not transmitted to the brain but instead to the motor neuron for fast response. It’s mostly involuntarily.

When a person got used to their partner’s presence, they tend to gravitate towards each other. Their body are familiar with him/her and it becomes a part of their implicit memory - something you do spontaneously and automatically.

If you pay attention to your parents or your friends who are in a relationship, you can see they unconsciously move closer in a room filled with people like a party or gathering or how their eyes just unconsciously find each other. It’s a normal thing you do to your crush as well. You just want to be closer or look at them. Your mind found the idea that looking or stay close to your source of interest/comfort very pleasing and joyful.

You also tend to gravitate in a sense that you want to share everything with your partner. Like when you found something interesting, the first thing you do probably let him/her know about it or just simply look at them. And you have that mutual agreement between the two of you. ’Do you get it?’ ‘I got it.’ You want to include them in your life and include yourself in their life. To have something in common. And these small things are very meaningful.


Now, time for some example~ Let’s the deluluness begin!

1. These two gifs actually didn’t happen right after another (x). KS moved closer to JI in the beginning of the video while JI moved closer at 1.00.

It’s like close is just not close enough. There was no concrete or rational reason to explain this behavior.

This one too.


When you take a picture in a group of people, your body moves inwards especially if you’re at the corner. But one thing I notice about KD, they don’t just move inwards, they stick to each other. 


Another clear example is this one. My fav pic of KD. You can see how the others were just bros taking picture tghtr.

Then we have KD glued face to face.


This is really endearing to watch. Laughing tghtr! I love watching KS laughing! See how his body just gravitates towards JI.

This is definitely not something KS planned to do.

You can see how awkward JI’s body posture. He didn’t know how to react when KS suddenly hugged his sides. And how fast KS just pulled away like oh shit what I did I do. (just my delulu side)

Look at how long JI just kneeled on the ground while staring at KS.

Still staring.


Next, JI sure like to travel~ His power is teleportation anyway hehehe (nice joke there Am lol)

Skipping everyone just to stand next to KS.

Oh, KS too?


Just KD sitting next/close to each other behind the scene.


Let’s move on to one of the honest body parts which are our eyes. If you notice the gif below, PCY also moves his eyes towards OSH.

But only JI’s eyes remained. A simple reminder here, KS wasn’t even talking. Lay was talking.

JI just can’t get enough. Another reminder, KS wasn’t even talking. JM was talking. PCY, OSH and BH were also looking at JM’s direction.

JI, BH was talking. He just unconsciously mirrored KS’s action.

This is my fav staring gif of JI’s. His gazes were so soft (just delulu me).

Flustered KS is the best. (probably be my next analysis. still in progress of collecting evidence)

Loot at these cuties. What were u guys doing smiling like that?


Ji the lost puppy.

A video posted by @alvabear94 on Jun 26, 2016 at 3:57am PDT

A video posted by ^KAISOO!VIDS^ (@kaisootv) on Oct 22, 2016 at 8:28pm PDT

A video posted by @alvabear94 on Jul 16, 2016 at 7:13am PDT


This is from my own experience. I’ve only gone to their concert twice and I got tix at the front for both concerts (e x oluxion2). As expected my eyes are glued to both of them. Haha. I don’t have any proof for this bcoz I don’t like to hold my phone/camera during concerts. I want to see everything that I can with my own eyes.

But I notice one thing tho. It just funny how my eyes were looking/following them while their eyes were finding each other. There was one time JI was at the other side of the stage and KS was at the other end. And I saw JI looked at the other side. I was sure he was looking at KS bcoz there was no one else at the other end. Then when they were leaving the stage for each interval, both of them always looked for each other behind their backs. Like checking if ji/ks is there. Maybe I’m just delulu. They were looking for each other bcoz when they found them, they exited the stage. Similar to when you check that your friend/anyone behind you, you can walk ahead. You know they’re with you.

I also did talk to other fans. B4 1st April, I never ever mention about KD to anyone. Even on my sns. But I talk to other e x o l that likes JI and KS. A friend of mine went to their concert (diff place as mine). She’s a JI stan. She told me when JI was injured and he sat on the chair at the back while the members move to the front, JI always looked at KS’s direction. I heard similar stories from other JI’s stan who went to the same concert. Then a KS’s stan told me she’s jealous of the way KS look at JI. asdfghjkl I’m like how?? She said when no one else was looking like when there was a member who was talking or doing a funny thing (audience attention on that member), KS will just quietly looked at JI. I’m …. omg. hehee.

Both of them don’t even have a reason to look at each other. They just do bcoz they just want to. But I don’t have any proof for this since it’s just convos I have w other fans and things we saw. Take it as it is and leave it as it is. But I totally recommend you guys go to the concert and just look at KD. They just have this certain aura/vibe around the two of them. Idk how to put this into words. It’s like watching my friend and her crush stealing glances at each other. The feelings are mutual but they don’t know about it. Then, act very shyly and I just want them to say hi. Haha.


I just noticed that this post is so long and I’ve provided ample of example/evidence. Well that’s it from me~ For now. Keep calm and support KD! Take care ;)

Gifs/vids/etc credit to rightful owners

Regarding the latest Fandom Wank

I’ve seen this whole thing unfold from my tablet, mostly, so I didn’t comment on it because it would mean switching to my laptop and I was often not home to do that (Flag Day means I am today!) and because I thought my two cents wouldn’t much contribute. I’m an Old Rumbeller, of faded writing fame (I’m just not writing as much nowadays so I feel like I’ve receded to the edges of the fandom a bit, which I regret), whose opinion I think doesn’t pretty much matter to most. But I think things have gone far enough to make me uneasy about not speaking at all.

This got stupidly long so under the cut.

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