and they presented it to [high pitch voice] me

fuzzyglobularcluster replied to your post “Ah i don’t think you have a flat voice… yours has an adequate…”

Hi! I remember seeing someone recommending you the podcast Lore before - seeing this made me think that as well as being ~spooky~ the presenter has a very soft and steady delivery. Could be worth giving a go if you haven’t already. I really like it!

i’ll definitely check it out then! i recently tried Thinking Sideways which was another recommendation but there’s 3 people presenting it simultaneously and their voices are aaaaaall over the place and they get loud and then they get quiet and they get a bit high pitched and sometimes they shout a bit and i spent so much time increasing and then decreasing the volume etc it wasnt so great for me! it’s a real shame because they’re content is really varied and spot on for all my different interests so im :-( but it takes sooo much energy to try and listen to 

i definitely prefer soft + steady voices (or even just steady)

something nice has happened.

for the first time in my life, i’ve made friends at a place that i have been employed at. it’s full of young and friendly people that work with me, and they all seem to really like me. i felt accepted within the first week of working there, and i made friends really easily.

only issue is, i fully present as female at work. i don’t have the resources to make myself look male. chest binding while working in a fast-paced kitchen leaves me struggling to breathe, and because of my ribcage, binding doesn’t really help me at all anyway. my voice is high-pitched and sounds very feminine, and having a soft baby face doesn’t help either.

not to mention the fact that i was literally forbidden to use the men’s room when i worked at buffalo wild wings and was told that i was not allowed to talk about my gender to anyone at the risk of being fired, it scared me to the point to where i’m not even telling people that i’m trans anymore. i want to be able to keep a job and have a chance at becoming a manager, even if that means presenting as my assigned birth gender and undergoing overwhelming amounts of dysphoria.

i would rather be misgendered every day because of how i present myself on purpose, not because of how my attempted presentation is overlooked and people just assume i’m a girl.

but anyway, the other week, i confided to one of my friends at work that i am transgender. my friend’s name is john, and he’s cisgender and gay. john immediately began using male pronouns for me at work and outside of work. he sent me really cute text messages and called me adorable names. it confused me a bit because i thought he was flirting with me, and i know that he’s 110% gay. 

i asked him why, and he got legit confused. he told me “you told me that you are a guy, so that’s how i see you.”

it was the first time a cis gay dude hasn’t been like “yeah you’re a guy but i like penis and you don’t have one so i’m not attracted to you sorry” and it kinda blew me away a bit. it was really nice to hear something new, and something really amazing, at that.

anyway, long story short, he literally asked me to be his boyfriend last night. not a ‘datemate’ or something like that. boyfriend. i couldn’t say no. 

all night long he kept going around and saying stuff like “i have the cutest boyfriend ever” and “my boyfriend is cuter than your boyfriend” and gosh, it made me so super happy.

i don’t know what more i could want at this point.

i’m happy.